Why Paul Pissale’s Tearful Confession Haunts Tony Mooney But Not Jenny Hill.

Mooney calls Pisasale’s humbling words a wake-up call.

Trivia question: what does the Towensville Bulletin have in common with Donald Trump?  Answer: when you think neither one can go any lower, both actually manage to. In the Bulletin’s case, it is one of the most juvenile and irresponsible ‘spite’ attacks worthy of Facebook at its worst.

But that is just one of the several sins of the Astonisher – and News Ltd – we look at this week (and of course, we take our regular gander at the Mobster President later on).

A touch of lunar-cy from the LNP … why The Freckle continues to be Anna Palaszczuk’s biggest weapon for re-election.

But first …

The Political Pantomime Takes A Dark Turn

‘Tis that time again when The Magpie finds himself in what the outnumbered Battle of Britain pilots called ‘a target rich environment’. The ‘Pie is looking forward to the challenge, which Bentley so succinctly sums up.

Let’s start with a little episode earlier this week which is all the more astounding for not being challenged in the media. It was the sinister medical experiment (it was officially called a ‘trial’) sanctioned by CMO Dr Jeanette Young and her puppet mistress Premier Anna Alphabet last Monday night, when it was decided to allow 200 AFL fans to crowd together in an area of the Gabba in pre-covid freedom for the Collingwood-Port Adelaide game.

What this ridiculous caper did was expose the fraud of Anna Palaszczuk’s campaign gamble of continuing restrictions, border closure and an economy on life support. Because if Jeanette Young and Anna Palaszczuk really believe the bullshit overkill they have been feeding us for a couple of unnecessary months now, this is indefensible … deliberately encouraging people to put themselves in harms way which, according to this pair, could result is contracting a fatal dose of virus.

There can only be two outcomes to this ‘reckless endangerment’ – some of the 200 get the virus, with whatever level of outcome that entails, and then, despite the voluntary nature (in fact, one wonders if they actually paid for their tickets) could result in legal action

Or, on the other hand, everyone is OK.

So how did the tests come out for the 200? Well, they didn’t actually have any tests, they were ‘surveyed’ about their ‘game-day experience’ – whatever the fuck that means. So they might have virus symptoms developed well after the survey, but no one will know, and Anna will be jubilant that she has opened the way for a lucrative 30,000 crowds for the AFL finals.

This really doe prove the politically selfish policy of destroying businesses and jobs, and maintaining restrictions – particularly in largely unaffected regional Queensland – all in the name of painting herself as a heroine.

But LNP Lunacy Is Working For Her

Or that should lunar-cy? At a time when we need bold visions to not just recover from this pandemic but to benefit from it with fresh initiatives for jobs and industry, what does that LNP and political wet lettuce leaf, Deb Frecklington offer  a trip to the moon. This …

…. this.

And today, it was more teachers over the next four years. Is that issue anywhere on anyone’s voting radar?

Polling whispered to The ‘Pie from Brisbane confirms what he has said all along … The Freckle is a political melanoma …and is particularly disliked by women, who see her as the ‘high school mean girl’ of the group. This possibly stems from her deeply ill-advised attack last year on the premier’s fashion sense and that she is childless – whatever that is supposed to signify.

If The Bulletin Lowers The Bar Any Further, They’ll Have To Dig A Trench

It’s getting harder to distinguish any difference between the Townsville Bulletin and the appalling standards of Facebook (where they get so much of their content from anyway.) but this week, they allowed a junior to write one of the nastiest, spiteful and irresponsible stories that has appeared under the Bulletin banner for some time.

Just for context, this is how the story appeared in the print paper.

But this is how the appeared on line and what you get if you google it.

POLICE & COURTS

Elizabeth Simonsen faces Townsville court on drink driving charge

A secondary school teacher at some of Townsville’s top academic schools has faced court.

ASHLEY PILLHOFER, Townsville Bulletin

A glamorous Townsville teacher has fronted court on a drink driving charge.

Elizabeth Simonsen appeared in the Townsville Magistrates Court yesterday on one charge of driving over the general, but not middle alcohol limit.

This means she allegedly returned a blood alcohol reading of more than 0.05 per cent but less than 0.1 per cent.

Ms Simonsen was charged with drink driving on June 12, this year.

Townsville teacher Elizabeth Simonsen appeared in court charged with one count of driving over the general, but not middle alcohol limit.Townsville teacher Elizabeth Simonsen said she provided support teaching services to “top academic schools” across Townsville including the Townsville Grammar School, St Margaret Mary’s and St Patricks College.

In the brief mention before the court, she indicated she intended to apply for a work licence.

Magistrate Ken Taylor adjourned the case to next month to allow time for Ms Simonsen to organise her application.

In a social media profile, Ms Simonsen said she had worked as a secondary school teacher for more than a decade and had been teaching since 2009.

On this profile, she boasts about providing support teaching services to “top academic schools” across Townsville including the Townsville Grammar School, St Margaret Mary’s and St Patricks College.

There are so many things ethically wrong with story, it is difficult to know where to start, but it would seem that the Bulletin doesn’t fully understand that publishing by a commercial organization carries the same liabilities … and should carry the same ethical standards … as print..

First, why is the name in the headline? That is usually reserved for people who are readily recognized by the general public, or who have committed some appallingly gross crime … not a piddling low range, drink/drive matter.

And ‘glamorous’? Apart from that being a subjective judgment and certainly a matter of opinion, it amounts to comment in a news story.

Was there some catty clitorati envy be involved. here. A piddling nothing story, as evidenced by the layout editors page three snippet, instead on line features TWO photographs of the subject woman. And that the woman ‘boasts’ – rather than, say, lists – schools where she has worked.

Well Ms Pillhofer, two can play at that low game, so The Magpie will let his readers decide for themselves if you are a ‘glamorous reporter’ , or just a junior gum chewing hair-flicking unsupervised bimbo reporter who takes it upon herself to pile on to someone who, because of your unwarranted over-enthusiasm, may well lose her job, despite facing an appropriate judicial sanction for a relative minor matter.

And for the record, The Magpie does not know or has any connection with either Ms Simonsen or Ms Pillhofer. And when he was the Legal Affairs editor of the Bulletin, 16 years ago, he wrote up his own 6 month $1600 penalty for drink/driving, as required by News Ltd rules.

But Someone Else Is In Bigger Poo At News Ltd

Not that you’re likely to hear much about it in the Astonisher.

Mirana Devine at her seedy – and expensive – best. 

Seems some apples DO fall far from the tree … Ms Devine’s father, Frank, whom The ‘Pie had the pleasure to know back in the 1980s, was one of Australia’s most highly respected journalists. He died in 2009, and one wonders what he would make of this sort of trashy behavior.

The Magpie 4,973 approved 138.130.42.20

Submitted on 2020/09/25 at 2:33 pmNot Breaking News:Japan Offers To Remove Tasmanian Stranded Whales. The Japanese Ambassador says because of his country’s significant scientific studies of the habits of the mammals, his government has offered to send a fleet of suitably equipped ships to remove the dead animals and tow the lives ones out to sea … beyond sight of land. ‘Using our extensive knowledge, we are able to ensure that they won’t be beaching themselves ever again,’ he said.

Mayoral Madness: Mooney Sympathises With Paul Pisasale’s Explanation For Offending

More Not Breaking News.

Pisasale told a court that the more successful he became, the more he spiralled out of control.

Tony Mooney said this was a long awaited cry for help from a small overlooked group who suffered the same ‘Mayoral Madness Sydnrome (MMS) – ‘ I know how he was suffering, poor bastard, I experienced it myself in my final years as Townsville Mayor, and only just avoided doing something really silly,’ Mooney said, calling for a clinical study of the condition.

However, Jenny Hill said she wasn’t worried. ’Why should I be, it apparently MMS only affects those who are successful and popular, and my ego is well under control, thank you, you snivelling little shithead’ she told The Magpie.

Wrist Slap For Costo?

And some more not breaking news.

The Magpie 4,973 approved 138.130.42.20

Submitted on 2020/09/22 at 1:28 pm NEWS ALERT: Proserpine Watchhouse Sergeant Calls Man Who Assaulted Costigan a ‘Pissweak idiot’. ‘That wasn’t assault,’ the angry officer said,’ that was just a bit of push and shove. This pissweak idiot had the chance to give the gabby cream puff Costigan the really good hiding he deserves but then wimps out with a bit of a shove and name calling. Maybe one day we’ll get Costigan himself in the watchhouse, and then we’ll be able to show how it really should be done.’

Word Combinations To Ponder

There are word combinations that you never expect to see in the same sentence … like ‘Jenny Hill’ and ‘transparency’, or ‘Bulletin reporter’ and ‘probing questions’, but the paper this weekend came up with an unexpected thigh slapper – ‘congestion’ and ‘CBD’.

When they got the press release, they just printed it, slapped on a silly headline and whacked it out there; it didn’t occur to ask any questions … or check for any absurdities. Squeezing this much absurdity into the first three paragraphs of an hilarious yarn is no mean feat, but they managed it .

‘ … congestion buster for the CBD’? ‘People exploring the city’? What parallel universe does the writer inhabit? (no not Ms Charles, she just transcribed the media release). Has the writer actually ever been anywhere near the CBD? And has anyone, visitor or local, ever had the unlikely thought ‘gosh, I really must explore the CBD of this city”?

Well, it made for some welcome light reading, but what The ‘Pie would’ve had more pleasure perusing was the ‘feasibility study’ that suggested this cockamamie idea has a likely longevity factor greater than a fart in a fan factory. It won’t take long for e-scooters to start crowding out Woolworths’ trolleys in our waterways and public gardens.

And want proof that this little effort is doomed to failure? Just that making the running for council in this media release is deputy doo dah Mark Molchino, Mayor Mullet is way too cunning like the proverbial to come within cooee of this Titantic of an idea.

So we are now left to wonder just how much the ratepayers of Townsville have coughed up for this unmitigated piece of stupidity. Oh, sorry, what’s that … commercial in confidence? Oh, pardon, shouldn’t have mentioned it.

But Our Mayor Suddenly Bobs Up With This Hook Line and Sinker, Which The Astonisher Swallowed In A Gulp

The ‘Pie is aware that he risks being seen as a repetitive scold and negative nag, but he is happy to run that risk as long as there are negative issues that deserve scolding … like the following.

This story is yet again a straight out press release, with – you can bet – not a single live interview, any words spoken were parroted of a script fashioned by Jenny’s hacks. This sort of jimcrack spin is exactly what should raise fair questions and that is exactly what the Astonisher does NOT ask. So The Magpie will ask …. and will conclude that this is completely silly bullshit which means absolutely nothing … and has bugger all to do with some heroic COVID effort by our Battler’s Boaedica and her bum boys.

Among the obvious questions here are some doozies;

Mayor Mullet says “From the beginning of the pandemic, council has been committed to doing what we can to support local businesses,” Ms Hill said. (BTW Bulletin, it’s ‘Clr’ not Ms.) “In the past six months we’ve spent over $270m on local suppliers and service providers which has kept that money in the Townsville economy.’

So, if the logic of language is accepted, that means but for the pandemic, the money would have been used to award contracts OUTSIDE Townsville.

It is not nit picking to ask this populist gabbling mayor what was the policy before the pandemic … if you’re boasting about this DURING the pandemic, logically, there was a different policy before. So where would you have spend this $270million BEFORE the pandemic?

Answer is probably by using the LGAQ rorting ‘Local Buy’ formula, which saw many outside businesses leap-frog locals, because unless things have changed , local government regs insist that all things being equal, the lowest tender wins as a matter of fiscal prudence (but with Local Buy, a 10% rake-off goes to the scheme’s inventors, LGAQ. The pandemic has put the brakes on that policy, so suddenly, the focus changed, they say. But did it?

Let’s put to bed this repetitive lie … as expounded this time by council’s Business Services and Finance Committee chairman Kurt RehBein … that ‘local procurement was an important consideration for the council when assessing tenders or looking for suppliers. Council has a commitment to spend locally wherever possible and we have been able to do it in a significant majority of cases over the past 6 months”. If that’s the case, Clr Rehbein, please ask Jenny how should answer the question, what was the policy and the outcome PRIOR to the past 6 months?

But hang around a sec, what exactly is classed as local? Clr Reihban again: “We consider local businesses to be those that have their head offices based in Townsville or have a branch in Townsville that has 10 or more full time employees so we can ensure that our community is really benefiting from this investment.”

In other words, just about state or national business capable of handling significant projects.

And that is OK, it is a sensible way to get our infrastructure needs implemented. BUT WHY LIE ABOUT IT? And make yourselves look like silly school kids seeking praise from teecher.

Speaking Of Spoiled Children

The ‘Pie hangs his head in contrition for all the accusations of callousness he has levelled at Donald Trump. He showed this week that he was a truly caring leader of his country, when he described the 200,000 corona virus deaths – caused mainly by his inaction and lies – as ‘a shame’.

See, he does care. The ‘Pie stands corrected. What a guy.

Tweet Of he Week

And Finally, Bit of A Mystery, This …

What’s the apology for?