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The Magpie

Sunday, September 27th, 2020   |   238 comments

Why Paul Pissale’s Tearful Confession Haunts Tony Mooney But Not Jenny Hill.

Mooney calls Pisasale’s humbling words a wake-up call.

Trivia question: what does the Towensville Bulletin have in common with Donald Trump?  Answer: when you think neither one can go any lower, both actually manage to. In the Bulletin’s case, it is one of the most juvenile and irresponsible ‘spite’ attacks worthy of Facebook at its worst.

But that is just one of the several sins of the Astonisher – and News Ltd – we look at this week (and of course, we take our regular gander at the Mobster President later on).

A touch of lunar-cy from the LNP … why The Freckle continues to be Anna Palaszczuk’s biggest weapon for re-election.

But first …

The Political Pantomime Takes A Dark Turn

‘Tis that time again when The Magpie finds himself in what the outnumbered Battle of Britain pilots called ‘a target rich environment’. The ‘Pie is looking forward to the challenge, which Bentley so succinctly sums up.

Swoop the trough small

Let’s start with a little episode earlier this week which is all the more astounding for not being challenged in the media. It was the sinister medical experiment (it was officially called a ‘trial’) sanctioned by CMO Dr Jeanette Young and her puppet mistress Premier Anna Alphabet last Monday night, when it was decided to allow 200 AFL fans to crowd together in an area of the Gabba in pre-covid freedom for the Collingwood-Port Adelaide game.

What this ridiculous caper did was expose the fraud of Anna Palaszczuk’s campaign gamble of continuing restrictions, border closure and an economy on life support. Because if Jeanette Young and Anna Palaszczuk really believe the bullshit overkill they have been feeding us for a couple of unnecessary months now, this is indefensible … deliberately encouraging people to put themselves in harms way which, according to this pair, could result is contracting a fatal dose of virus.

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There can only be two outcomes to this ‘reckless endangerment’ – some of the 200 get the virus, with whatever level of outcome that entails, and then, despite the voluntary nature (in fact, one wonders if they actually paid for their tickets) could result in legal action

Or, on the other hand, everyone is OK.

So how did the tests come out for the 200? Well, they didn’t actually have any tests, they were ‘surveyed’ about their ‘game-day experience’ – whatever the fuck that means. So they might have virus symptoms developed well after the survey, but no one will know, and Anna will be jubilant that she has opened the way for a lucrative 30,000 crowds for the AFL finals.

This really doe prove the politically selfish policy of destroying businesses and jobs, and maintaining restrictions – particularly in largely unaffected regional Queensland – all in the name of painting herself as a heroine.

But LNP Lunacy Is Working For Her

Or that should lunar-cy? At a time when we need bold visions to not just recover from this pandemic but to benefit from it with fresh initiatives for jobs and industry, what does that LNP and political wet lettuce leaf, Deb Frecklington offer  a trip to the moon. This …

Space race  Screen Shot 2020-09-26 at 2.38.10 pm

…. this.

And today, it was more teachers over the next four years. Is that issue anywhere on anyone’s voting radar?

Polling whispered to The ‘Pie from Brisbane confirms what he has said all along … The Freckle is a political melanoma …and is particularly disliked by women, who see her as the ‘high school mean girl’ of the group. This possibly stems from her deeply ill-advised attack last year on the premier’s fashion sense and that she is childless – whatever that is supposed to signify.

If The Bulletin Lowers The Bar Any Further, They’ll Have To Dig A Trench

It’s getting harder to distinguish any difference between the Townsville Bulletin and the appalling standards of Facebook (where they get so much of their content from anyway.) but this week, they allowed a junior to write one of the nastiest, spiteful and irresponsible stories that has appeared under the Bulletin banner for some time.

Just for context, this is how the story appeared in the print paper.

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But this is how the appeared on line and what you get if you google it.


Elizabeth Simonsen faces Townsville court on drink driving charge

A secondary school teacher at some of Townsville’s top academic schools has faced court.

ASHLEY PILLHOFER, Townsville Bulletin

A glamorous Townsville teacher has fronted court on a drink driving charge.

Elizabeth Simonsen appeared in the Townsville Magistrates Court yesterday on one charge of driving over the general, but not middle alcohol limit.

This means she allegedly returned a blood alcohol reading of more than 0.05 per cent but less than 0.1 per cent.

Ms Simonsen was charged with drink driving on June 12, this year.

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Townsville teacher Elizabeth Simonsen appeared in court charged with one count of driving over the general, but not middle alcohol limit.Townsville teacher Elizabeth Simonsen said she provided support teaching services to “top academic schools” across Townsville including the Townsville Grammar School, St Margaret Mary’s and St Patricks College.

In the brief mention before the court, she indicated she intended to apply for a work licence.

Magistrate Ken Taylor adjourned the case to next month to allow time for Ms Simonsen to organise her application.

In a social media profile, Ms Simonsen said she had worked as a secondary school teacher for more than a decade and had been teaching since 2009.

On this profile, she boasts about providing support teaching services to “top academic schools” across Townsville including the Townsville Grammar School, St Margaret Mary’s and St Patricks College.

There are so many things ethically wrong with story, it is difficult to know where to start, but it would seem that the Bulletin doesn’t fully understand that publishing by a commercial organization carries the same liabilities … and should carry the same ethical standards … as print..

First, why is the name in the headline? That is usually reserved for people who are readily recognized by the general public, or who have committed some appallingly gross crime … not a piddling low range, drink/drive matter.

And ‘glamorous’? Apart from that being a subjective judgment and certainly a matter of opinion, it amounts to comment in a news story.

Was there some catty clitorati envy be involved. here. A piddling nothing story, as evidenced by the layout editors page three snippet, instead on line features TWO photographs of the subject woman. And that the woman ‘boasts’ – rather than, say, lists – schools where she has worked.

Pillofer Screen Shot 2020-09-24 at 10.50.33 pm Screen Shot 2020-09-24 at 10.51.58 pmWell Ms Pillhofer, two can play at that low game, so The Magpie will let his readers decide for themselves if you are a ‘glamorous reporter’ , or just a junior gum chewing hair-flicking unsupervised bimbo reporter who takes it upon herself to pile on to someone who, because of your unwarranted over-enthusiasm, may well lose her job, despite facing an appropriate judicial sanction for a relative minor matter.

And for the record, The Magpie does not know or has any connection with either Ms Simonsen or Ms Pillhofer. And when he was the Legal Affairs editor of the Bulletin, 16 years ago, he wrote up his own 6 month $1600 penalty for drink/driving, as required by News Ltd rules.

But Someone Else Is In Bigger Poo At News Ltd

Not that you’re likely to hear much about it in the Astonisher.

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Mirana Devine at her seedy – and expensive – best. 

Seems some apples DO fall far from the tree … Ms Devine’s father, Frank, whom The ‘Pie had the pleasure to know back in the 1980s, was one of Australia’s most highly respected journalists. He died in 2009, and one wonders what he would make of this sort of trashy behavior.

The Magpie
4,973 approved

Submitted on 2020/09/25 at 2:33 pmNot Breaking News:Japan Offers To Remove Tasmanian Stranded Whales.

The Japanese Ambassador says because of his country’s significant scientific studies of the habits of the mammals, his government has offered to send a fleet of suitably equipped ships to remove the dead animals and tow the lives ones out to sea … beyond sight of land. ‘Using our extensive knowledge, we are able to ensure that they won’t be beaching themselves ever again,’ he said.

Mayoral Madness: Mooney Sympathises With Paul Pisasale’s Explanation For Offending

More Not Breaking News.

Pisasale told a court that the more successful he became, the more he spiralled out of control.

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Tony Mooney said this was a long awaited cry for help from a small overlooked group who suffered the same ‘Mayoral Madness Sydnrome (MMS) – ‘ I know how he was suffering, poor bastard, I experienced it myself in my final years as Townsville Mayor, and only just avoided doing something really silly,’ Mooney said, calling for a clinical study of the condition.

However, Jenny Hill said she wasn’t worried. ’Why should I be, it apparently MMS only affects those who are successful and popular, and my ego is well under control, thank you, you snivelling little shithead’ she told The Magpie.

Wrist Slap For Costo?

And some more not breaking news.

The Magpie
4,973 approved


Proserpine Watchhouse Sergeant Calls Man Who Assaulted Costigan a ‘Pissweak idiot’.

‘That wasn’t assault,’ the angry officer said,’ that was just a bit of push and shove. This pissweak idiot had the chance to give the gabby cream puff Costigan the really good hiding he deserves but then wimps out with a bit of a shove and name calling. Maybe one day we’ll get Costigan himself in the watchhouse, and then we’ll be able to show how it really should be done.’

Word Combinations To Ponder

There are word combinations that you never expect to see in the same sentence … like ‘Jenny Hill’ and ‘transparency’, or ‘Bulletin reporter’ and ‘probing questions’, but the paper this weekend came up with an unexpected thigh slapper – ‘congestion’ and ‘CBD’.

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When they got the press release, they just printed it, slapped on a silly headline and whacked it out there; it didn’t occur to ask any questions … or check for any absurdities. Squeezing this much absurdity into the first three paragraphs of an hilarious yarn is no mean feat, but they managed it .

Screen Shot 2020-09-26 at 10.31.01 pm

… congestion buster for the CBD’?People exploring the city’? What parallel universe does the writer inhabit? (no not Ms Charles, she just transcribed the media release). Has the writer actually ever been anywhere near the CBD? And has anyone, visitor or local, ever had the unlikely thought ‘gosh, I really must explore the CBD of this city”?

Well, it made for some welcome light reading, but what The ‘Pie would’ve had more pleasure perusing was the ‘feasibility study’ that suggested this cockamamie idea has a likely longevity factor greater than a fart in a fan factory. It won’t take long for e-scooters to start crowding out Woolworths’ trolleys in our waterways and public gardens.

And want proof that this little effort is doomed to failure? Just that making the running for council in this media release is deputy doo dah Mark Molchino, Mayor Mullet is way too cunning like the proverbial to come within cooee of this Titantic of an idea.

So we are now left to wonder just how much the ratepayers of Townsville have coughed up for this unmitigated piece of stupidity. Oh, sorry, what’s that … commercial in confidence? Oh, pardon, shouldn’t have mentioned it.

But Our Mayor Suddenly Bobs Up With This Hook Line and Sinker, Which The Astonisher Swallowed In A Gulp

The ‘Pie is aware that he risks being seen as a repetitive scold and negative nag, but he is happy to run that risk as long as there are negative issues that deserve scolding … like the following.

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This story is yet again a straight out press release, with – you can bet – not a single live interview, any words spoken were parroted of a script fashioned by Jenny’s hacks. This sort of jimcrack spin is exactly what should raise fair questions and that is exactly what the Astonisher does NOT ask. So The Magpie will ask …. and will conclude that this is completely silly bullshit which means absolutely nothing … and has bugger all to do with some heroic COVID effort by our Battler’s Boaedica and her bum boys.

Among the obvious questions here are some doozies;

Mayor Mullet says “From the beginning of the pandemic, council has been committed to doing what we can to support local businesses,” Ms Hill said. (BTW Bulletin, it’s ‘Clr’ not Ms.) “In the past six months we’ve spent over $270m on local suppliers and service providers which has kept that money in the Townsville economy.’

So, if the logic of language is accepted, that means but for the pandemic, the money would have been used to award contracts OUTSIDE Townsville.

It is not nit picking to ask this populist gabbling mayor what was the policy before the pandemic … if you’re boasting about this DURING the pandemic, logically, there was a different policy before. So where would you have spend this $270million BEFORE the pandemic?

Answer is probably by using the LGAQ rorting ‘Local Buy’ formula, which saw many outside businesses leap-frog locals, because unless things have changed , local government regs insist that all things being equal, the lowest tender wins as a matter of fiscal prudence (but with Local Buy, a 10% rake-off goes to the scheme’s inventors, LGAQ. The pandemic has put the brakes on that policy, so suddenly, the focus changed, they say. But did it?

Let’s put to bed this repetitive lie … as expounded this time by council’s Business Services and Finance Committee chairman Kurt RehBein … that ‘local procurement was an important consideration for the council when assessing tenders or looking for suppliers. Council has a commitment to spend locally wherever possible and we have been able to do it in a significant majority of cases over the past 6 months”. If that’s the case, Clr Rehbein, please ask Jenny how should answer the question, what was the policy and the outcome PRIOR to the past 6 months?

But hang around a sec, what exactly is classed as local? Clr Reihban again: “We consider local businesses to be those that have their head offices based in Townsville or have a branch in Townsville that has 10 or more full time employees so we can ensure that our community is really benefiting from this investment.”

In other words, just about state or national business capable of handling significant projects.

And that is OK, it is a sensible way to get our infrastructure needs implemented. BUT WHY LIE ABOUT IT? And make yourselves look like silly school kids seeking praise from teecher.

Speaking Of Spoiled Children

The ‘Pie hangs his head in contrition for all the accusations of callousness he has levelled at Donald Trump. He showed this week that he was a truly caring leader of his country, when he described the 200,000 corona virus deaths – caused mainly by his inaction and lies – as ‘a shame’.

See, he does care. The ‘Pie stands corrected. What a guy.

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Tweet Of he Week


And Finally, Bit of A Mystery, This …

What’s the apology for?

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Anna’s Boy says:

    Yet again Nanna Anna is caught out lying, this time about Mike Kaiser. She has claimed that she did not know the former Labor State Secretary but this has been contradicted by her diary which clearly shows that she has met with Kaiser at least a half dozen times since April !!! A lie is one thing but the reason for lying is another. So Anna, why lie? You are failing the ‘pub test’ once again. And Kaiser was a member of the Beattie Government and her father Henry Palaszczuk was also. So, yeah right I’m sure she never met him. LIAR!!

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Well you can take the girl out of Inala, but sadly you can’t take Inala out of the girl, she has turned Qld into one big Inala.

      • Grumpy says:

        I remember Henry well. I had a brief, but interesting, encounter with him when I was a party member in the 80s. For a decade later, I would get a birthday card and a Christmas card from him every year. He was a decent bloke.

        • The Magpie says:

          Many of the old style politicians had enough style to take people as they came, and not judge them by the party or policies they might support. The ‘Pie understands from a friend that the late Tim Mulherrin was in the same mould.

  2. Hee-Haw says:

    On the subject of the $270 million spent locally over the past 6 months and the statement “local procurement was an important consideration for the council when assessing tenders or looking for suppliers. Council has a commitment to spend locally wherever possible and we have been able to do it in a significant majority of cases over the past 6 months”. From Kurt when the councils own website show that the total of all tenders awarded by council (over $200k) over the last 6 months has been circa $30 million in total which includes almost $21 million to Surf Life Saving Queensland (no doubt that deserves questions in itself) so the $270 mill, if spent, has zero to do with the pandemic or a supposed policy.

  3. Paul Piss’take says:

    Pisasale is a crook. This bullshit about having an ego etc and that being the reason for his crimes is utter bullshit. He was corrupt, thieved from the public purse, was a philanderer and visiting hookers while his wife was at home, he plotted and planned his corrupt actions and the only person he served was himself. If Mooney has sympathy for that kind of human then Mooney is defining what kind of a character he himself is. Pisasale was an entrusted public servant and deserves a lot of time behind bars. Society has had enough of these narcissistic parasite politicians with their corruption, jobs for the boys and public purse rorting.

    • The Magpie says:

      The Magpie is deeply aware of the dangers of being read by those without a sense of humour or general awareness of satire. A cross he has to sadly bear.

      • Paul Piss’take says:

        Pie, are you saying that as a rate payer and tax payer I should have a sense of humour regarding Paul Pisasale’s antics? Mate, not when it’s my money being pissed away corruptly. I did however have many laughs when the muppet fronted the media in a hospital gown and red socks. The twat….

      • Banging 7 gram rocks says:

        Are you saying you the Mooney comment was a joke? I can genuinely imagine him saying that. My god he was (and still is) something horrifying.

        • The Magpie says:

          Mooney does not have the self-awareness or humility to admit to such a truth. This is a man who lies under oath in court.

  4. Doctor of Googling says:

    The Qld Health apology in your last topic is around the advice to rub oil. Medical Specialists always stipulate the specific oil to use. In this case the concern is the person may use old engine oil or hot chilli oil. I would ask to be prescribed a script of Castrol 15W-40 currently on special at Repco in the 1L top ups.

  5. The Dollar Doner says:

    Mr Magpie, if I flick you some coin regularly what does this get me, on the blog?

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, that’s different, the offers are usually coin to stay off the blog … all such requests are politely declined, as is yours..

  6. Mike Douglas says:

    Jam packed week of Politicians cover ups / corruption , deception with the Victorian Hotel security debacle and the “Sgt Schultz ” response from key Ministers and Bureaucrats with Andrews dumping his health minister in it resulting in her resignation . On the Qld front Palaszczuks chief of staff not declaring a conflict of interest then the Premier not reading the $29 k investigation report she instigated . Then Palaszczuk declining she knew of a Mike Kaiser ( i no nothing ) the same person her diary said she had 5 meetings with . The Ipswich Mayor investigation Greg Hallam Ceo LGAQ said was a witch hunt , copped up to 38 charges of corruption . Then there is the smiling Deputy Premier Steven Miles whose Health department rolled out a new payment system $30.4 mil overspent , leaving 1819 businesses waiting for $203.1 mil in late payments . Miles, Palaszczuk and Dick expect us to believe they have a credible economic recovery plan for Qld ?.

  7. Health by Stealth says:

    QLD Health has fucked up to the tune of $200m for contractor payments. Tsk tsk tsk seems they just can’t sort out their I.T capabilities doesn’t it? And there is also some angst about the size of the payouts some former QLD bureaucrats have been paid in the last 12 months upon termination or resignation. Again, millions spent! (no links attached as this pisses off Mr Magpie) But don’t worry, the Freckle has promised to spend $33b fixing up the Bruce Goat Track between Gympie and Cairns!!! Nice and definitely needed, but will never happen. Ho ho ho Tis the season for fucktardary!!!!

    • The Magpie says:

      Yup, read that earlier, a fair and balanced article … up to a point. But it would be better if Ben had had time to seek verification of the claim by this city’s number one racist Disgracelyn Smallwood that “There’s vigilantes trying to run over our little innocent black children in the street. There’s only a small percentage that are mucking up in the streets.” Smallwood says the police have been “ramping up”.“They’re doing more now because of the Black Lives Matter campaign. They’re charging kids stealing a boiled lolly and a can of Coke.” The ‘Pie would like to see proof of that nonsense statement … the cops do exactly the opposite, deciding discretion is the better part of valour, they are deliberately slow to attend to such complaints, knowing it will be a total waste of their valuable time. Are you saying the police should turn a blind eye to this behaviour, and maybe even to junior mobs robbing and assaulting bus drivers? ‘Kids will be kids, sly little tykes, eh?’ you chuckle. But should a cop give them a cuff around the ear and a talking to, you’d be into court seeking millions faster than Clive Palmer onto a doughnut.

      You also say “They’re always stereotyping black children. Our kids had calmed down with intervention by respected elders, grassroots elders, and they’ve turned their lives around. I’m over these conservative people who don’t know our people, who don’t know unresolved grief, loss and trauma.” No mention of the failed role of parenting in this, dear? Oh, that’s right, that’s whitey’s fault, isn’t it, for something that happened 200 years ago and isn’t ever going to be reversed.
      That new generation of ‘kids’ know of alleged ‘unresolved grief, loss and trauma’ because people like you, Disgraycelyn, instil it into them and encourage, in fact demand, that they look back in anger without looking forward with resolve.

      This is way too lop-sided, Disgracelyn.

      In your own way, through condemning future indigenous generations to remain in the miasmal mist of an often false history, Ms Smallwood, (Professor my arse) your crimes are more insidious and much worse in the long run than anything the reprehensible black birder Robert Towns ever did.

  8. The Magpie says:

    Hey, wrong tit, amigo, that’s not the public tit!

  9. Frequent flyer says:

    Took my grandchildren over to Magnetic Island for the day and was astounded by the double standards being allowed by Anna Alphabet and her police force.
    In the Sealink ferry terminal there were signs reminding passengers about the social distancing requirement to keep 1.5 metres apart.
    But once you board the boat the rule is ignored, with people cramming shoulder to shoulder in the aisles. Then they have the gall to make PA announcements warning everyone to social distance!
    You might suspect that this breaching of social distancing rules was caused by increased demand due to the school holidays, but at the time the ferry departed there were 3 other Sealink ferries tied up in Ross Creek which surely could have been used to prevent overcrowding.
    When we arrive at Nelly Bay everyone streams off the boat and into waiting Sunbuses to explore other parts of the island, and the bus driver allows everyone in the queue to cram on to the bus like sardines, with every seat filled and people standing shoulder to shoulder in the aisles with not a face mask in sight.
    Then one old bloke sneezes and everyone wheels around to check how far away he is. In the case of some passengers that “social distance” was just a few inches.
    But what a difference when we arrived at Horseshoe Bay. Cafes, bars and shops enforced the 1.5 metre rule without exception, one bloke even asking some customers to queue (1.5 metres apart of course) OUTSIDE his cafe.
    I asked him why he bothered to enforce social distancing when the ferries and buses ignored it.
    He said the double standards were “a joke”.
    “If we don’t enforce the rules the police fine us, but they turn a blind eye to the ferries and buses”.
    They obviously have a special exemption from Anna and her chief medical officer, who is apparently applying her NRL/AFL immunity policy: footballers are immune from covid-19.
    So are ferry and bus passengers, apparently.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, at least there seems to some good news out that … Maggie is booming.

      • Frequent flyer says:

        Maggie certainly is booming and there can be no doubt that it is Townsville’s most valuable tourist attraction.
        Maybe Little Pattie and her TEL tourism “experts” should jump on a ferry and take a look, instead of sipping lattes in the CBD concrete jungle.
        Jenny Hill should do the same. Who knows, if she might even start spending some of our rates somewhere other than the depressing CBD.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      I believe Queensland commuters are advised to use common sense when planning to use public transport, and there aren’t formal number restrictions.

      (If no one on board displays common sense perhaps a ferry becomes a ship of fools?)

      • The Magpie says:

        Understand your point, but you must realise Steve, if that is the directive and it is OK to behave in such a laissez-fair manner, why not elsewhere? Especially in places with more space, like parks and shopping centres? Policing social distancing, if we’ve come to that level of a police state, would be easier and economical on public transport than anywhere else.

        • Covid-free says:

          Perhaps they were having an indigenous funeral onboard the ferries and busses?

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          I think, apart from restrictions on group sizes, common sense has been the rule for parks and outdoor areas for some time now. The distinction between public transport and other indoor venues might be the degree to which they’re essential services.

          • The Magpie says:

            While you are no doubt technically correct, Steve, there are a couple of unquantifiables in there. There cannot be any written defined regulations for ‘common sense’ – like love, common sense is in the eye of the beholder, and if that eye belongs to an over-zealous official, then not only is a suggested freedom (of common sense) lost, but a chance for corruption and/or abuse of power is created. Then there is the question what possible argument can dangerous over-crowding on an ‘essential service’ to excuse it. Sure, if it is an essential service, keep it running, but with restrictions. God knows, we’ve seen people sitting alone in parks being threatened, but we are allowed to cram into trains, buses and ferries (and trams in Melbourne). Sadly, common sense is meaningless in this new normal of unreasonably diminished personal freedoms.

          • The Magpie says:

            And while we’re in this snake infested little armpit of the virus regulations woods, check this almost but not quite comprehensive graph from the Fairfax newspapers today. Notice anything missing? Something that will in the coming months, have historians seeking the actual point where prudent safety was trumped by political considerations which has unnecessarily devastated Australia’s economy.

          • The Magpie says:

            Seems no one has either picked up on or wants to buy into The Magpie’s little quiz question, but it important enough as a coming debating point to fill in the glaring gap. And it is simply this: the initial chart above misleadingly … or more correctly, incompletely … provides an age breakdown of those infected with the virus, with 78% being 60 years old or younger. But what the chart doesn’t do is make the obvious comparison possible by a crucial emission. Which is simply this:

            Draw your own conclusions, but vThe Magpie has reached his.

            In the fevered, panicked terms of a ‘pandemic’, no one under the age of 70 has been greatly threatened by corona virus, and it is freely admitted that many of those deaths were ‘last straw’ scenarios when corona virus was suddenly added to the burden of other pre-existing conditions. Two months ago, The ‘Pie argued that the selective targeting and greatly heightened restrictions surrounding the older age group … in aged homes and in the general population, should have been a priority, allowing in large part the economy and employment to keep functioning.

            He is now convinced more than ever that this was the fair and proper thing to do across the generational landscape. Discrimination? Sure, why not, this whole situation is based on discrimination by the laws and regulations against ALL the population, or later just in vaguely defined ‘hot spots’ … with the result being unnecessary years of rebuilding an economy – ergo lives – damaged in equal parts by political opportunism and cowardice. The ‘Pie has no doubt, albeit well down the track when the virtue signalling and political point scoring is consigned to history, the question of why this path was not followed will forever be a black mark on our state and federal leadership.

            BTW although irrelevant, no self-interest involved here … The Magpie is 75.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            This, of course, overlooks the long term impact that coronavirus can have on survivors. Not to mention that even people with pre-existing conditions should be valued by society.

          • The Magpie says:

            Why, that would almost as bad as chronic unemployment and poverty at a crucial stage in many a worker’s life, wouldn’t it? But not surprised at your now familiar mantra, given your mob’s antipathy towards business and ergo jobs. And The Magpie is happy to don his tin foil hat and suggest the ‘long term effects’ doctrine – which are somewhat hard to deliver when there is yet to be any ‘long term’ – has conveniently been trotted out when governments everywhere are looking for justification for grossly damaging overreaction.

      • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Steve, when the election campaign proper starts, will you be required to put “Authorised by the ALP” on your posts? Or will you continue the charade?

    • Alahazbin says:

      FF. Goes to prove that restrictions in NQ should have been lifted a couple of months ago.

    • Cappuccino in hand says:

      Writing this from glorious Barossa Valley where I was transported on a PACKED Jetstar flight with no one wearing the mask that was offered and a mad scramble to get off the plane into the waiting line of coppers with no distancing rules observed to be checked for CV19 and released into the wilds of SA with ferals from NSW now that border is open.
      I will be back in TSV later next week to spread whatever I have picked up in the past few days.

  10. Dave Sth says:

    I was one of the clean up team for Cyclone Larry in 2005. Miranda Devine wrote a nasty condescending piece that slurred all North Queenslanders and Innisfail. ABC’s Media Watch in one of its well aimed shots obviously thought same. Haven’t had much time for Miranda since and I used to read her late father regularly, enjoyed his columns. IMO she aint a speck of what he was.

    Scooters, apart from the mentioned dumping in Ross Ck whose brain thought from the nether regions is this? Hope the councils Insurance is well paid up, can see chancers cashing in on personal injuries from this…

    • Strand Ghost 2 says:

      Yes Southern Dave, I live up the quiet end of The Strand and at 2am Saturday morning was awakened by a group of 4 ‘scooter hoons’ who were hooting and hollaring, swearing at each other I presume (as there was no one else about at the time), charging at each other on the scooters and appreared to be under the influence of something.

      No bodies this morning, at least across the road from where I live!

    • Achilles says:

      Shades of those idiotic Sedgeways! Another repeat of not learning from the first “episode”.

      • The Magpie says:

        Just been out for half an hour and have sighted five of them around North Ward … only two being ridden, the others unattended with their helmets secured to the handlebars. Maybe just a PR way of introducing them. And look hey, if nit works, terrific, but as you say, the smart money wouldn’t take the odds. You’d think the Astonisher ,might vhave asked what business study prompted the company to move into Townsville.

        • Old Tradesman says:

          There is going to be an epidemic of head lice in Townsville very shortly, I have seen who are using the helmets.

        • Achilles says:

          You ask what business study prompted them to select Townsville. P’raps its because lots of people don’t have cars anymore. Or those that still have them don’t want to spend hours unchaining the shackles and putting the car batteries back in for a 5 minte trip to Woolies.

          • Doctor of Googling says:

            Achilles, I believe e-scooters have have been a developing problem in Brisbane for some time and Regional Qld was easy target to roll out some profit making. Here is the latest news – https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/i-had-no-idea-what-had-hit-me-scooter-insurance-gap-leaves-pedestrians-at-risk-20200828-p55qb0.html

          • The Magpie says:

            Is The Magpie going to be the only one to ask some glaring questions about the apparent idiocy of this e-scooter introduction to Townsville? It seems as a clever (or too clever by half) promotional idea to leave these brightly coloured machines standing idly around hi-vis locations this weekend to raise awareness like this …

            …and this.

            There was also a very noticeable one on the corner of Eyre and Leichhardt streets in North Ward, outside the Quest apartments, and a couple closer to The Strand.

            Now this promotional stunt will play out whatever way it will – with the high possibility it will create an extra unwanted burden on local coppers … for infractions, theft or mishaps. But questions have to be asked of our mayor about their introduction in the first place … especially in light of this from Brisbane in just the past week, as linked in the above comment from Doctor of Googling:

            So will The Bulletin come out of its usual slumber and actually ask the mayor or whoever she chooses to hide behind the following questions:
            1. What business case was made to the TCC to introduce e-scooters?
            2. Is the venture wholly funded by the e-scooter company, or did the council have to entice them with finance or in-kind support?
            3. Were the police and other public safety authorities consulted on the issue, or community groups which represent those concerned for their children’s or their own safety?
            4. Where exactly can these machines be legally ridden?

            Surely someone in our piss-weak, lame mainstream media (you up for this ABC?) can screw up the courage to ask questions on our behalf.

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, that didn’t take long, did it? Whoda guessed. Attempted e-scooter burial at sea on the Jezzine cliff front. See any other? Send pics to email hidden; JavaScript is required

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Gee that’s a bit harsh Pie, I am sure Michael Clarke on the ABC has a long list of tough questions about the scooters, like do they come in another colour, do the helmets come in a more stylish version, do some of the scooters come with inbuilt selfie sticks, can they be ridden by two people, do they float?

        • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

          One has migrated out towards Castletown, just short of the Ross Creek canal. Lazy little bastards didn’t even throw it in – I despair of the upcoming generation.

          • Hondaman says:

            This scooter hire disaster will pan out the same way as weekend motorcycle hire did quite a few years ago. The low-life variety who destroy and just plain vandalize the hire vehicles will blow the Insurance cover clean out of the water. It won’t take long for whoever funded this ‘ Bravest thing’ ( Sir Humphrey) to realize the foolishness of their venture – the scooters will be able to be picked up cheaply at auction yards very shortly!

  11. Newscorpse says:

    Perhaps Frau Pillhofer and Ms Simonsen know each other privately? And for whatever reason Journalist Pillhofer has used her position as a Reporter to sink the boot into Simonsen? Wouldn’t be the first time it’s happenned.

    • The Magpie says:

      That is a far more succinct way of summarising exactly what The ‘Pie was getting at. Which would make the article, and the editorial oversight, even more regrettable.

  12. Ratepayer says:

    Hope whoever runs the e-scooter business and the council have plenty of insurance.
    Spotted four youngsters, aged around seven, riding the e-scooters on the road in traffic on Palmer Street this arvo.
    Motorists had to stop to avoid sending them to the hospital emergency ward.
    This is an obvious example of a Jenny Hill brain fart that has actually been allowed to happen.
    By the way, anyone been down to The Strand lately to play dodgems with the scooter enthusiasts?
    As is the case with all of Jenny Hill’s bright ideas, what could possibly go wrong?

  13. Scooters rooting hooter says:

    driving back from the strand last night. Adults doubling little kids on these scooters, alot under the age of 18 ridding solo into oncoming traffic downhill at jazzene barracks near where the kid died on skateboard recently. ( noticed pole still striking out of ground with flowers no protection still) 1 scooter left at Dooley’s car yard on footpath another 2 more on island sturt and Ingham rd. Then 1 more 100m away pointing towards oncoming traffic in gutter in thedark which i nearly ran over. TCC let this happen when someone dies because of this stupidity will they be resigning? They better have good public liability.

  14. NQ Gal says:

    The NY Times has managed to get hold of some of the Great Orange Ejit’s tax records. Just confirms everything that was in his niece’s recent book.


    It takes Kerry Packer’s thoughts on tax to a whole new level. “Of course I am minimising my tax. And if anybody in this country doesn’t minimise their tax, they want their heads read, because as a government, I can tell you you’re not spending it that well that we should be donating extra!”

    • The Magpie says:

      Of course, Packer was right, and he was not suggesting anything illegal. As he pointed out, there is ‘tax avoidance’ – the legal use of government regulations to lessen tax – and ‘tax evasion’ – which is the illegal schemes to hide income. Seems Trump was a bumbling exponent of the second.

      • Doctor of Googling says:

        I always thought Tax Avoidance and Tax Evasion were a no-no, but the fine line accountants can use is ‘Tax Minimisation’?

        • The Magpie says:

          Guess you could be right, meanings change and are re-defined but Packer was also right when talking in to 70s.

          • Dwight says:

            Accountants don’t go to jail their clients do.

            The foolproof ways is to cop cash kick backs or get paid in crypto currencies like the pollies do, much cleaner.

            Do wonder is Paul Passalie will get hit for tax avoidance.

            There is some interesting reading on the ATO new data matching algorithms with potential to catch heaps.

    • The Magpie says:

      Of course, Packer was right, as he explained (using Australian, not American, terminology) that ‘tax avoidance’- using government regulations and legitimate loop holes to pay less tax, is legal, while – in the Australian term – ‘ tax evasion’ is the deliberate falsification of information to minimise tax.

      • Grumpy says:

        We negatively gearing, income sharing, family trust, PSF, franking credit Boomers prefer to use the term “tax minimisation” as opposed to “avoidance”. Sounds much cleaner.

        • Doctor of Googling says:

          There are some other terminologies –
          1. Poor Persons Strategy – work hard for a living, provide for family, pay fair tax to help the economy. Must be a good decent person to implement this complex strategy. Not for everyone.
          2. Rich Persons Strategy – pay your accountant to set up multiple companies, trusts and other financial instruments, spend weekends on Maggie Island in the newly built holiday home, go sailing and jet skiing, send kids to boarding school and most importantly don’t pay any tax. Must be rich and selfish to pull this difficult strategy off.
          3. Pensioners Strategy – work hard all your life and pay tax so all the younger generations can benefit, help everyone you come across unconditionally, be prepared to smile when Centrelink keeps reducing payments to a point where even pet food looks like a special treat, and crucially, don’t run the aircon in Summer. Appears we all experience this strategy eventually.

  15. The Orange Man’s Accountant says:

    The methodology behind tax minimisation is a tricky one. It’s not as straight forward as many think. For example, Warren Buffet is similar within his financial processes as the Orange Terrorist and the nw deceased Packer. The bulk of their income comes from dividends and long-term capital gains, which are taxed at a much lower rate than ordinary income, hence they pay less tax per annum than some chump earning $110k per year on a salary. Then you donhave th shonks with accounts in the Caymans and other schemes to avoid paying income tax. The now alsmost diminished middle class comenin handy for these elitists as the middle class pay for the rich folks tax breaks and also pay for the unemployed. The middle class are also non-existent now at a time when the worlds finances are collapsing into a big steaming mess.

    • Alahazbin says:

      “Then you have the shocks with accounts in the Cayman Islands”
      Are you referring to Malcolm Turnbull TOMA?

      • The Orange Man’s Accountant says:

        Alah Akbar, Malcolm is just one of many named in the Panama Papers, but the Caymans have been a tax haven before Malcolm was born. Same as that goose Branson and his Necker Island. It allows him all sorts of tax exempt privileges. Arseholes.

  16. Tropical says:

    Trump paid $750 in federal income taxes the year he won the presidency. In his first year in the WH, he paid another $750.
    He had paid no income taxes at all in 10 of the previous 15 years — largely because he reported losing more money than he made.

    The reason he paid no income tax in these years was because of a change in the tax law signed by President Barack Obama which then generated a $72.9 million refund. LOLOL.

    Oh, and the best part? The NYT confirmed that the IRS and the president are, in fact, still arguing about the nature of this refund and that he’s been telling the truth when he says his return is still under audit:

    • The Magpie says:

      Just the sort of bloke you want running one of the world’s most important economies. One would’ve thought – if we lived in a dimension different to Donald’s – that when you attain the most powerful office on the planet, the very fact that your taxes are being audited would be an even more pressing reason to reveal them. And before you return to your foam-flecked keyboard, remember that the stock market is a casino, it IS NOT the economy.

  17. NQ Gal says:

    Accountant – I wouldn’t be comparing the great Warren Buffett with your ejit of a client. Buffett has long said that the rich should be paying more taxes and unlike the Ejit, he doesn’t need to continually talk up how much he is worth.

    • The Orange Man’s Accountant says:

      Hey NQ Gal, I didn’t say I like the Tangerine Anus, I just do his taxes for him. As for Warren Buffet, he certainly doesn’t suffer from the deranged mental syndrome Orange Man suffers. But his finances are set up similar, that’s all.

  18. Bentley says:

    In regard to Trump‘s tax, don’t think for one moment that he has necessarily broken any laws. The system favours the wealthy sophisticated investors, of which our Donald is one. I’m surprised he pays any tax at all. In Oz there are Private Tax Rulings. I can only assume there is a US equivalent. It’s just not that straight forward. Just the media or the Democrats or both trying to pull the rug out. So look elsewhere.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ploy here is based on what the Dems think the average Joe who supports Trump will think of the broad implications and insinuations.

      And the sad thing, Benters, we, the world have been gaslighted to an extent … made to question our own established morality and have started to downgrade Trump’s past and present behaviour when we face the wave of outrageous stunts that every single one would’ve had a previous President resign in disgrace. Maybe not a financial crook, but a treasonous megalomaniac … with followers expressing the same traits.

      • Bentley says:

        Did I appear to defend his morality or integrity? If so, that was not my intention.

        • The Magpie says:

          You did not at all, and that was not the point of my general comment, just about the mobster president’s MO. The Magpie fully agrees with the more aware opinion that this nonsense about not leaving office peacefully is just that .. nonsense, created by media’s puppet master to distract from 200,000 virus deaths – many of which he could’ve prevented – the tanking economy and treasonous behaviour towards the American military, past and present.

  19. Joe Kirwan says:

    You know I was going to vote for the KAP next month because I actually rate Robbie Katter. Then I saw Nick Dametto on Channel 7 talking down the Bruce Hwy duplication that the Freckle has announced because it may by-pass country towns (presumably like Ingham).

    I’d love to see those towns by-passed. Anyone who has driven the Bruce will know how frustrating it is going through these towns at 50kph.

    The new Mackay ring road is a tremendous improvement.

    So anyway – Nick, my vote is now going straight to the LNP.

    • The Magpie says:

      Tend to agree with your argument re ring roads (not necessarily your voting solution, it is all pie in the sky, onto-the-backburder-after-the-election stuff, the end of which is would be at least four elections away, which the LNP might not win). But the value v cost of travellers being forced through towns along the coast can be argued both ways, and it would seem that it is a bit of a beneficial myth … anyone know of any studies out there?

    • Doctor of Googling says:

      Playing advocate, many of those ‘small towns’ have businesses highly reliant on highway traffic stopping by. Did you ever watch the movie ‘Cars’ and see what happened to Radiator Springs?

      • The Magpie says:

        Certainly not an open and shut case, but many things, safety, accidents (not so minor when many unfamiliar with their surroundings drive around), the value of greater connectivity between delivery hubs, lower council traffic maintenance bills, and the fact that many businesses would spring up at easy access points along the LNP’s dream list super highway. But hey, this isn’t worth us getting worked up about, its all election time bullshit.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Exactly, and those businesses that rely on the road will move to the new road, as has happened in other towns. What really needs to be asked is if the people of Ingham are worried about it why vote for someone like that brainless dickhead Dametto anyway, who will never be in Govt and can’t change any outcome, they like him will just be irrelevant whingers having a whinge.

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, hope you don’t end up with the Steggles Egg On Face Award Crankypants, but even the big players admit there is a chance … just a small but real one … that the Mad Katter Party could hold a balance of power.

          • Old Tradesman says:

            At the moment the Astonisher is probably going to have name change to the KAP Times considering the number of stunt articles published on their demands and feats. Before voting for the KAP one has to consider that they are solely responsible for letting this shambolic Labor Party into power by voting with the Polish Princess to introduce compulsory preferential voting, the Princess then repaid them by removing their staff. As Katter receives his funds from the CFMMEU and the ETU, it appears that they are going for a second round of punishment by favouring the Labor party as seen by some of their demands. In relation to the highway it would also be good to build a second crossing across or under the Burdekin and bypass Cuddlepies Brandon slow lane, which is only a revenue raising radar zone.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Yes a possibility Pie, but Katter will only support Labor, their hatred of the party they once belonged to won’t allow them to ever support them, and they have supported Labor in Qld before. The problem is the fuckwits that vote for them are too stupid too actually work that out, a vote for KAP is a vote for Labor, a vote for Pauline Hanson is a vote for Labor, Labor are the govt, and unless people vote directly for the opposition, they are simply voting the govt back in.

          • The Magpie says:

            Maybe, mate, but like all politicians, outlook changes when power is in hand. So at the very least, concessions for regional Queensland could suddenly be on the table, rather than dishonestly being trundled out only at election time … and then with no guarantee beyond the deciding vote.

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            You’ve got to be joking CBH. KAP support Labor because old man Katter was Labor.

  20. Just Say'n says:

    In the news again.

    At least we won’t be bothered by all those southern investors looking to buy up north.


  21. The Oracle says:

    There is some big explosive information on Youth Crime in Townsville and Cairns that is being prepared to be released in 2 weeks time.

    The Labor Government has been told what they need to do, but they have chosen to ignore the requests.

    So sit back and watch the State Government lose 7 seats in North and Far North Queensland.

    • The Magpie says:

      This political prick teasing get tedious in the extreme. Prepared and released by whom? And if you know about it … and are not bound by some unstated political motive … share it. Fucking trolls are the bane of this blog.

  22. The Magpie says:

    Gee-zuzz, don’t tell us you missed it?
    Yesterday was International Access To Information Day.

    And that paragon of transparency, the Townsville City Council, was in there promoting their virtue like billyo.

    This prompted one aggrieved ratepayer to send in this:

    They are good at saying one thing but doing the complete opposite…..

    Supposedly the Russians use a term “vranyo” which they use in the context of describing most official Russian government information, and roughly means:

    “I’m lying, you know I’m lying, I know that you know I’m lying, and you know that I know that you know, but I go ahead with a straight face, and you just listen to me and nod seriously.”

    But Mayor Jenny Hill rejects allegations of a lack of transparency by her council.

    ‘Transparency is an integral part of our hiring policy, why, just this week, we have hired three extra people to ensure transparency across all council infrastructure’, she said, providing photographic evidence of one of the new staff already working to ensure transparency.

    • Open Data Deception says:

      This ratepayer is correct. I recently accessed Townsville City Councils Open Data catalogue for maintenance complaints by ratepayers. After the great hoopla from council I expected a comprehensive listing of maintenance matters, location (at a minimum to suburb), dates reported and dates fixed. It was nothing of the sort. It was essentially a count of generalised issues. The other “open data sets” provided by council are all similarly useless sets of homogeneous data.

      • The Magpie says:

        You’re surprised?

        • Open Data Deception says:

          Well yes. To be perfectly honest, I was.
          All these reports on council meeting transparency targets, abiding by the state requirements, and they still manage to be ambiguous

          I can only conclude that the state requirements aren’t worth the paper they are written on.

          • The Magpie says:

            Then will it surprise you that they aren’t.

            Share your disappointment .. regularly … but not one iota surprised here in The Nest.

    • TheOtherGuy says:

      I am reminded of a statement made in the Royal Commission into Commercial Activities of Government in WA in the early 90’s as a result of the Alan Bond/Brian Burke/ Bell Group fiasco ( the report is an excellent read) that would apply to the TCC, particularly around the Adani airstrip and more recently the Glencore smelter chimney:
      “Secrecy in the conduct of government and public administration the veil behind which waste and impropriety can occur.”

      • TheOtherGuy says:

        The quote should read:
        “Secrecy in the conduct of government and public administration provides the veil behind which waste and impropriety can occur.”

  23. The Magpie says:

    As they say, be careful what you wish for …. especially if you think Gwyneth Paltrow could be starting a birthday selfie trend when she tweeted this pic to celebrate her 48th birthday.

    Others celebs have been asked if they intend to follow (birthday) suit. Most weren’t keen on the idea, but one well known face wouldn’t rule it out.

    ‘You’ll have to wait until next February 9 to find out,’ Ms Rinehart said, batting her eyelids.

    Mayor Mullet, on the other hand, firmly ruled it out. ‘I’m not that bloody transparent,’ she snapped.

    But The Magpie won’t be so shy, he’ll certainly consider getting dropping his tweeds next August … and reveal all … and that means ALL. Here’s a teaser, taken this morning after his monthly shower.

  24. Dave of Kelso says:

    Another example of this claped-out council failing to maintain basic services.

    The dump point at Ross Dam Park is blocked and unusable. From Wiki Camps it seems to have been this way since late August. It was reported to Council 8 days ago (time enough to get it fixed, you would think) and again today.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      There is a photo of the blocked dump point on Wiki Camps. Don’t look at it.

      • The Magpie says:

        Why not? If it’s that bad, the public have even more right to know about it even if graphic. This isn’t a kiddies blog.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          It is that bad, however the photo does not have the rich and pungent odour.

          • The Magpie says:

            So send it in, The Magpie will make the call. email hidden; JavaScript is required

    • The Magpie says:

      Seem to remember some commenting on fronting the mayor during the election campaign about a similar issue when she was in the Ross Park area campaigning, and she ducked off quickly. Was this the issue?

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        I suspect not.

        3rd June Wiki Camps post reports the dump point as clean. Over the years that I have been using this dump point it has been ok, until now. I am confident that it would have been ok during the run-up to the council election.

        Another Nester may know what got the Mulett to duck off quickly.

  25. Kenny Kennett says:

    Watching Dumb & Dumber 2020. Sleepy Joe can’t get a word in….either can the Fox Moderator. Pinocchio Trump is Porky Pieing in every sentence he says. They’re not in a TV studio they’re in the ‘Interrupting areshole’ room ala Monty Python.
    Donald, where’s your losers!!

    • The Magpie says:

      What a shit show all around.

      May God bless America and have mercy on her soul.

      But the main take The ‘Pie gets that it is clear that Trump is terrified of mail-in voting, because despite all his jackboot Republican efforts to disenfranchise voters at the booths, they are by-passed by the covid-inspired increase in the (relatively secure) mail-in vote.
      Consensus across the divide after the debate was no real winner – some didn’t like their President being called a clown, particularly the clowns of America – but Trump is the one who did the damage to himself.


      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Actually Australia is in a good spot regardless of who wins, if Trump wins our preferred access to the USA market continues, if Biden wins there will be billions of dollars leaving the US looking for somewhere to live, some of it will probably head here, investment dollars in the years ahead will be highly sort around the world.

  26. The Magpie says:

    BREAKING NEWS … maybe


    The American Clown Alliance has been outraged by presidential nominee Joe Biden calling President Donald Trump ‘a clown’.

    ‘This is a totally unmerited professional slur on a group of hardworking American citizens who pay their taxes and juggle batons, not the books,’ said ACA President BozoBingoBob.

  27. Dave of Kelso says:

    American clown? I think this one comes from Venezuela.

  28. Susan says:

    Aaron Harper and Scott Stewart posting rubbish with the Chief Medical Officer in Townsville talking about COVID and not a comment about the horrific rape of 66 year old woman in Cranbrook this morning.

    These men have their priorities all wrong and now accept crime as normal. Well Aaron and Scott you have let your community down once again.

  29. Paul Piss’take says:

    Mr Ipswich has received a 7.5 year sentence with parole after 20 months. Not enough time for a commonwealth servant but then again rarely does a politician go to jail for anything!

  30. Choir Boy says:

    The Pope has no hesitation in sacking a cardinal for suspected embezzlement of money from the Catholic Church, yet is willing to welcome back into the fold a convicted Paedophile.

    Is it no wonder people have lost faith in the church.

  31. Dave of Kelso says:

    Dear Pie,

    Are you going to show the Ross Dam Park dump point photo as it currently is?

    It is emblematic of the Mulett’s approach to both infrastructure maintenance and the positive promotion of our city to the the travelling public.

    A putrid festering mess since late August. Welcome to Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      No not at the moment. The pic supplied by you-know-who was taken 8 days ago … disgusting and unforgivable by any public health standard, not to mention revolting … but it may have been cleaned up by now. If it not, can someone please advise tomorrow AM and pic will will be published.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        I will be there shortly after first light to see what there is to see, and smell.

        • The Magpie says:

          Looking forward to what you sniff out … update pic be good too .. whatever it may be. That mess being left like that for even a day is dangerously irresponsible, but The ‘Pie does not consider the revolting pic should be published without further evidence. He trusts Magpie readers are intelligent enough to get the message without a shock/horror pic.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            The Ross Dam dump point has been unblocked and is clean.

            Some might wonder what all the fuss is about. These facilities, dotted throughout the land, are very important to the travelling public.

            Further, it seems the TCC monitor this blog for the hot community issues.

          • The Magpie says:

            As flattered as The Magpie is at the monitoring suggestion (probably true, along with the Bulletin), the most important fact here is WHEN was it cleaned, and how long it was allowed to remain as a dangerous and disgusting health hazard. The picture supplied was 8 days old according to the attached note, and it bis suggested that the situatiin was more than that. But would anyone, including the council, care to comment on the relevant dates?

          • The Magpie says:

            Ok, the timeline is clear, and pretty damning for the Townsville City Council … and the mayor, who apparently was alerted to the chronic problem back during the election campaign.
            This page from WikiCamps.

  32. Bottom of the Cocky's Cage says:

    Hello Mr Magpie

    Stumbled across this blog while I hide from the virus in Melbourne. I have actually been to Townsville a couple of times. It seemed like a reasonable spot but a bit dead. Prefer Cairns though.

    I read the last couple of editions. You seem to pick up on a few local issues. The comments seem to be mainly a tour of Dave of Kelso’s mind and experiences. He does seem to feature a lot and his advice about how to intimidate Woolworth’s staff and where to dump one’s crap is no doubt very valuable. The others seem to me (in the main) to be angry old men venting their frustration as a result of relevance deprivation syndrome.

    Anyway, thought I’d share. Probably offended everyone but please feel free to visit Melbourne soon and soak up some virus culture.

    • The Magpie says:

      You have managed to offend everyone with inaccuracies and incorrect judgements, so congratulations and welcome to The Magpie’s Nest, you’ll fit in nicely. And, mate, if you think Dave is a worry, wait until you get a load of Steve from Belgian Gardens, Tropical and No More Dredging among others. Feel free to join in, although The ‘Pie likes an emphasis on local where ;possible, but please note, this ain’t FB, and The Magpie makes the rules, so some things might not be published.

    • Grumpy says:

      I will not be lectured by that man…

    • Lord Howard Hertz says:

      And we all know what is at the bottom of a cocky’s cage, starts with ‘sh’ and ‘ends with ‘it’, and it ain’t shell grit.

    • Fart says:

      Get off my lawn!

    • Nobody’s Girl says:

      NMD/ECQ, are you back with a new pseudonym? We’ve missed you.

    • NQ Gal says:

      Cocky, while I would love to visit the Danistan capital again, I would suggest that at the moment it is even deader than Townsville. Woohoo – the curfew has been lifted, but everything is still shut. There is also that small problem of Nanna Anna insisting that once a person returns from Melbourne, they have an enforced $2800 two week holiday in a hotel, not of their choice (transport by paddy wagon optional).

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      A tour of my mind…….. Hmmm.

      I think it would be short, disorganized and probably not worth the admission fee.

  33. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Don’t know why the Ville is complaining in the Astonisher, why would it want anymore customers than it currently has, unfortunately I had to go there last week for someone birthday and the queues were 10 deep anyway just to get a drink at the bar, takes that long to get served you might as well rejoin the line with drink in hand as you will be finished it before you get served again. The place is starting to sound like a typical Townsville business, whinge about the Govt and everyone else rather than looking at its own shit service.

    • The Magpie says:

      That sounds a tad ungenerous, given the circumstances of recent times. And The ‘Pie must admit that the ‘Ville seems to be under very competent management and is willing to spend the voluntary taxes it receives (i.e gambling profits) in expanding and sprucing up the place. The ‘Ville has played a role in using bits financial clout to trim back other restaurant and bar operations in the city, but the fact is that that is business.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Yep that is the market and if you can keep making money whilst treating your customers like shit then good on them I suppose. Your last point is something that is a serious issue, the amount of young people at the casino blowing their cash, it is a disgrace that this town offers so few options for young couples to have a night out and getting dressed up and going out to stand in front of a pokie machine is not a good thing.

        • The Magpie says:

          Don’t start on gambling, The ‘Pie wants a quiet night.consider this: if all gambling (which is actually voluntary donations to the most unworthy in our society) was banned overnight, there wouldn’t be on iota of difference to the world. losses of charitable works (gimme a fuckin’ break!) would be totally offset by enforced lifestyle improvement not just for gamblers but their families.

  34. Doctor of Truth says:

    Thank you BotCC for venting your frustration as a result of relevance deprivation syndrome. Rather than go to a Vote, I feel you are extremely well qualified to join the unofficial gang, and I for one would be happy to endorse you.

  35. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    I read that they have detected more COVID in the crapper in Airlie Beach…..I just hope there wasn’t any in the dumper at the dam.

  36. Cajun says:

    ‘Pie, luckily I am in the Townsville electorate, otherwise I would be in a complete quandary. I think that I’m actually hoping MessageBank gets elected … it would be wonderful to see his replacement on the TCC, in action. Now she would really get things hopping!

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, the danger there, Spicy One, is that if Labor lose, Les will be a useless lump of trough wallowing excess, whereas if Labor win, he will be a GRINNING useless lump of trough wallowing excess.

  37. Scientician79 says:

    I see the State Government has stitched up a royalty deferment deal with Adani.

    Won’t disclose the terms, you guessed it commercial in confidence.

    Firstly, how do you justify a period with no payment when the state finances are suffering the COVID impact, surely now is the time to keep the revenue rolling in.

    Second, does anyone honestly think the government will see a dime from Adani? This thing will be closed down before they ever have to pay, and the government will be left to clean up the mess.

    Top work all round.

    • Cappuccino in hand says:

      Commercial incompetence

    • Mike Douglas says:

      Scientician 79 , any support background on Adani supposedly closing down ?, does that include Abbott point , their Solar farm . In regards to the States finances what about the payroll tax from companies doing the $1 bil +Adani contracts . Then theres the share of gst on anything supplied to Adani that Qld receive $1.09 for every $1 collected . Wages being spent around the Galilee Basin by workers and contractors that support the communities . Have you actually been to the Galilee Basin ? . The Qld treasurer offered Virgin $200 mil to a business that was previously $7 bil in debt .

      • Scientician79 says:

        So Mike to be clear I’m referring to Adani ever paying the royalties they owe us the taxpayer. They may well contribute these other items you speak of in the short term but that hardly equates to the size of the royalty payments.

        As usual distraction and throwing other issues into the mix, the Virgin debacle is an entirely separate issue.

        The Adani coal arm is not a business with a long term viable future, the fact they have had to down scale the operation due to lack of funding speaks to that fact.

        Like many corporate structures the fact Adani are mixed up in other interests provides no assurance we will be paid what’s owed, when the bill falls due and the coal operation is gone do you really thing the other parts of the business will pay?

        That’s the point of these structures, just ask Mr Palmer who hid behind similar to insulate himself from the QNI creditors.

        As to Abbott point, last I read it was seriously over valued and the only reason the Carmichael mine was being progressed is to ensure it stays on the balance sheet.

        And according to this article deeply in debt.


  38. ALP Spin Cycle says:

    The ALP Spin machine has hit overdrive with claims record performance at the Port of Townsville and back slapping over social media and in the press, what bull shit.

    Their EBIT this year of $25million didn’t even make budget, and the tonnage was dreadful only 8.19millions tonnes.

    Back in the day when it was run by a good CEO – Barry Holden the Port in 2009/10 made $51 million EBIT on 10.8 million tonnes.

    The Port have turned into an embarrassing political side show.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      you filthy, filthy barsteward!

      How dare you inject fact into political mass debate?

      Now we’re all ruined.

    • Mundingbird says:

      It must be ” Vagina at the Helm” syndrome, it affects a lot of things…….

      • The Magpie says:

        Perhaps, but an even better reason to seek evidence of incompetence, malfeasance or whatever is being alleged, it isn’t clear, just a bunch of vague assertions. At least right or wrong, The Magpie names and examines the issues he talks about when criticising any public figure, including Clr Hill and Ms O’Callaghan.

        The ‘Pie is always more interested in what is between the ears and not the legs.

  39. The Magpie says:

    Hello townsvillemagpie.com.au,

    Greetings of the day!!!

    I was just browsing your website (townsvillemagpie.com.au). I have noticed that your website has a completely outdated look and feel. As you know that the look and feel is the primary point to attract any new users, so it should be professional and modernized as per the latest design and technology standards.

    After my initial analysis, I have found following main aspects which should be taken care of at an urgent basis:

    – Website look and feel is outdated
    – Website is not compatible on mobile devices; you are losing potentials mobile customers
    – Different fonts have been used throughout the website with different colors
    – Lack of moving objects on the landing page, which is required to attract customers
    – Contact form is not user interactive
    – Absence of prominent Call to Action
    – Website is not optimized as per Google algorithm standards

    Therefore, I would like to suggest for a complete revamp (redesign) of your website with a completely new , modern design style and a dynamic backend admin panel so that you can easily manage your website content. This will not only attract visitors to your website but also increase Google ranking and conversion rate.

    Please let me know if you would be interested to my proposal.

    We are a complete web /mobile development and 360 degree digital marketing services providing company. Please get in touch to know more regarding us and our proposal.

    Thanks and Regards,
    Jennifer Fernandes
    Sr. Business Development Manager

    Dear Jennifer,

    Thank you for your generic letter, which contained some obviously inaccurate observations about The Magpie’s Nest – what pray tell, would we old codgers do with a Call To Action, which sounds way too energetic for our liking. And we do not have ‘customers’, the site is free, we do not accept advertising and we do not have any product other than a brilliantly eccentric weekly parish pump rant on mainly local matters in the – to the glittering likes of yourself – backwater of Townsville, Queensland.

    However, you are correct about one thing, although you make it sound like a mistake … this blog is written by, and for, those who look and feel.outdated in this smart arse world. We cherish our condition, and endeavour to maintain a small tightly knit circle of Luddite-like ignorance and we firmly reject any enlightenment, philosphically or technically. The former certainly would not involve you and the second is not to our taste. – or comprehension.

    However, we have all been touched by your selfless concern.


    Malcolm Magpie

    • Doctor of Truth says:

      Or alternatively you could have asked “what can I get in your menu of Free items”? OR “I can’t pay you now, but things are looking good because I’ve been told my Uncle was a Nigerian King and he recently died leaving me $5,000,000,000,000USD”.

  40. Jennifer says:

    I also have a Nigerian friend who is trying to liquidate his uncle’s millions – just send $1,000 for processing

  41. Moment says:

    Miles away in the South East, the ADF have been redirected from joint patrols of the Tweed border. Could be an unhappy team with pay rates far less than others performing the same job. Suggest a good time to check currency of your Traffic Controller Certificates as the call is out for recruits to join the ‘Stop Go’ team and head off to the Gold Coast on an ‘all expenses included’. Without the ADF, maybe a phone call to southern mates on ‘how to run security’ as the first Hotel quarantine although no one seems to remember how WE DID IT in Victoria and the $$M spent on those front line services. As tourists are involved, a redesign of that ‘barbed’ Cruise Ship App is in order and great investing in another IT budget for Queensland. How much Lipstick can you put on a Pig and how many days left to put it on.

    • The Magpie says:

      It seems Canberra can see through Palaszczuk’s totally political motivations for extending the border closure to unnecessarily ruinous lengths, so with reasonable logic, the Morrison mob have decided that the Australian taxpayer should no longer foot the bill for her ‘campaigning’, and withdraw troops from border duties. The Australian public are already paying an unfair amount for the crippling damage being done to them, so fair enough, it’s a start.

  42. Frequent flyer says:

    Spot on, ALP spinner.
    Port CEO Ranee Crosby sends out a media release that miraculously transforms a massive drop in port EBIT and tonnage into a success story and the media spits it out word for word without asking a single question.
    The bullshit that the Townsville Bulletin and Channel 7 let Jenny Hill, Patricia O’Callaghan and Ranee Crosby get away with is staggering.

    • The Magpie says:

      Precisely the underlying reason this blog was created.
      But The ‘Pie stops short of lumping Crosby in with the other two. She seems to have more brains going for her as a manager of a government backed monopoly, the business expansion of which she has very little control, being dependent on the success of outside big business ‘clients’. And she has never appeared to be a self-promoter of severely limited abilities like Hill and especially O’Callaghan.

      The point about lack of questioning is a valid one, but that can’t be blamed on someone who puts the best spin on their story, what else could you expect them to do?

      • ALP Spinner says:

        Oh, Mr Magpie your views on Ms Crosby are so sweet, however you appear like many before you, to have fallen victim to her intoxicating siren song.

        Unlike many this puppet master works in full view. Innocently sidelining or removing career threats from the Port (it is too large a list to mention here) and controlling political agenda on boards, working groups or committees. It has been a common trap of many to underestimate or overlook the influence of Ms Crosby and her husband. They are a very real power couple of Townsville, but you’d never know.

        Our Mayor dances to her tune without even knowing, and when even the slightest of suspicions are raised it is dismissed with a smile or an innocent laugh.

        Sorry Magpie to burst your bubble, by the way Santa Claus is also not real.

        • The Magpie says:

          It is precisely because of her lack of a ‘siren song’ – to The ‘Pie’s knowledge, she hasn’t publicly pushed any particular agenda out of line with her position; the fact that she keeps a comparatively low profile and getting on with the job is indeed an agreeable ‘siren’ tune, and it would be much applauded if adopted by Hill and O’Callaghan.

          And just who is Mr Crosby, what is his influence on her job, and what does he do (only of interest if it is in the public domain)?

          So far, easy words without a shred of evidence or provided substance. Please supply, otherwise call D Trump, he is in urgent need of your skills.

          BTW who needs Santa when we have an election campaign underway?

          • ALP Spinner says:

            Andrew works for TafeQ and like his better half is gifted in passive aggressive manipulation.

            Unfortunately your blogs shines a light on government short comings so you can only expect a lump of coal.

          • The Magpie says:

            Christ, bit early in the day to be hitting the turps, isn’t it? That doesn’t make any sense, even in English, or make any argument for Mr Crosby’s involvement in this issue.

            Reckon the betting is you got kicked out of the Port or some other related position for being a quarterwit. If you didn’t, you’re still a quarterwit.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Only in Townsville could a bloke from TAFE and a sheila from the Port be considered a power couple, how pathetic is that.

      • Doctor of Truth says:

        Don’t be fooled my Ms Crosby.

        • The Magpie says:

          Look, this is really getting tedious. OK, so you have some reservations (to put it mildly) about Ranee Crosby. BUT how is she fooling us? The ‘Pie isn’t saying that she isn’t, but as they in court, just because you say it is so does NOT make it so … you need to present evidence, so in other words, tell us what you’re talking about.

          • Doctor of Truth says:

            Yes, lots of insinuations. Let’s just say that in other business circles she is not all that liked.

        • Achilles says:

          A LP spinner for the record, last time I heard someone mention expectations from a lump of coal was from a departing colleague; who said that “the boss was such a tight arse you could shove a piece of coal up his arse and he’d fart out a diamond within 10 minutes”.

  43. Nobody’s Girl says:

    Magpie, once again you rudely and in a condescending manner jump all over a contributor to your blog. ALP Spinner speaks much truth about the Townsville Port. Those of us who do and have run major businesses know that the Townsville Ports overallprofit is pathetic. The Port is not run viably. All Queensland Port Corprations are a tool for Labor to fill Boards and Executice positions with Labor mates, supporters, connections. The Gladstone Ports Corporation is also filled with Labor mates on the Board and it too has seen Executives shafted and shit on. Politics is a crooked and corrupt business for mates, and Labor has bent Queensland over and rammed us senselessly for years. The Queensland Labor party is a club and none of the rest of us are invited. One day the avaerage Joe (not sleepy Joe) will wake up from their delusional matrix and realise that they are gum on the boots ofnpoliticans shoes. It’s time for an uprising.

    • The Magpie says:

      Thanks for the party political, girlie, but again, nothing concrete in the way of evidence about the Port’s performance. To put The ‘Pie in his place, please give one or two sentences about how YOU would make the Port operate ‘viably’?

      Board stacking is nothing new …Connie Navarro, a former acolyte of Labor bag man Barry Taylor, and public tit sucker extraordinaire Tony Mooney have just been appointed to the board, and no matter what their expertise or lack thereof, would not have been so appointed if the LNP were in government.

      And your delicate sensitivities not withstanding, when someone brings in a family member to bolster a vague, totally undefined argument, The Magpie will always ask a blunt question or two. Back into the fridge, dearie, bit warm for you around here.

  44. NQ Gal says:

    Nanna Anna has deemed fit to announce lifting of border restrictions to the rest of NSW on 1 November – as long as there are no further community transmissions. Does the clock reset every time there is a community transmission? Roll on 31 October when hopefully Nanna Anna and Maiden Aunt Jeanette are turfed and resign respectively.

  45. David says:

    Can anyone help me understand why the suspect in the rape at Cranbrook this week hasn’t had their name published. Normally the media are quick to name?

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, the most obvious reason is that it could identify the victim in some way, and besides, haven’t kept up with this matter, but names are not released on charges are heard in magistrates court and the accused is remanded.

  46. Achilles says:

    At least he’s got some looney characters to work with. There’s no-one in our boring, bland line up in Oz except maybe Bob Katter.

    Remember when Bob Hawke and his peers were on the show, but sadly no more.


  47. Dave of Kelso says:


    I have been hoping for this for ages and have said so
    a while back on your blog, Dear Pie.

    I know, I know, I am not a very nice person, but stiff shit, it is what it is. Ha ha.


    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Well Kelso, what can I say, you hoped and hoped Trump would get infected with this potential killer virus? Errr, you are a sick puppy, Trump was doing a nice job of ‘hanging himself out to dry’, without picking up this beast of a thing.

      Hope you DON’T get it Kelso.

      • The Magpie says:

        Plucker, ‘Pie was out when the news broke, but check out the old bird’s take on this. He hasn’t got corona virus, c’mon folks, surely you’ve caught up with him by now.

  48. I’ll be plucked says:

    Both Trump and the Missus have tested positive to COVID-19. Now things will really hot up across America – Biden may have picked it up too when debating Trump the other night, when Trump was carrying the Virus, as we now know. Both Trump and Biden, given their ages, are in the high risk category for severe illness.

    The Russians and the Chinese, as well as the little chubby fella with the bad haircut from The Hermit Kingdom, will be beside themselves with ‘possibilities’!!’

  49. NQ Gal says:

    The great orange ejit has apparently tested positive to COVID 19 – you know, the disease that was going to magically disappear.

  50. The Magpie says:



    The timing is way, way, way too convenient. The ‘Pie will bet his last tail feather that Donald Trump DOES NOT have corona virus.
    Two days ago, Trump trashes himself and the debate, and knows there will be more to come in the next two. It slowly filters through in the hours after his scabrous performance that he has done himself massive damage. He knows there will be a mute button employed, and refusing to debate because of that restriction wouldn’t be a good look at all.

    So what to do?

    Wheel in the tame WH doctor, give him his riding orders, and KAZAM!! Trump and the Mrs have suddenly got corona virus, debates will be called off with honour and with what he mistakenly hopes will be national sympathy. And how does his doctor know that he will be able to carry on his duties normally … oh, that’s right, Trump has always said it hardly affects the majority of people and he will prove it by functioning norma … err, as per usual. Win win and WIN.

    And if we around here think Commercial In Confidence is bad enough, try doctor/patient confidentiality for any proof. The Magpie will retract if he carks it.

    There are families and friends of 205,000 American virus victims who will have anything but sympathy for this low grub.

    If you believe otherwise, you haven’t been around for the past four years.

    • Tangerine Anus says:

      me thinks that your tinfoil hat is on too tight oh Gymnorhina tibicen

      • The Magpie says:

        We’ll see … although we’ll probably never know … unless he keels over.

        • Alahazbin says:

          Pie, that’s the first thing I thought of also. Trying to avoid the debates.

        • Doctor of Truth says:

          Appears the US is taking it seriously – “ Two US Navy E-6B Mercury nuclear war command posts were observed in flight this afternoon, one on each coast of the United States. They were initiating the “Take Charge and Move Out” (TACAMO) defence protocol – essentially dispersing the command and communications facilities needed to control the US nuclear arsenal.
          These aircraft are activated by the Pentagon when it is deemed necessary to communicate with the US Navy’s secretive nuclear missile submarines, stealth bombers and missile silos.” This was in response to the President’s Covid-19 diagnosis.

          • DEFCON 4 says:

            There is always at least one E6B in the air at all times, the fact that they have turned on their transponders, so that they can be seen, is a message to any foreign power who would seek to take advantage of the “situation”

          • The Magpie says:

            Clearly and wisely.

          • General Ripper says:

            Time for Wing Attack Plan R?

      • Achilles says:

        Citrus reticulata, et tu. Tuum est.

    • Dave of Kelso says:


      Two possibilities here;

      Trump, 6 weeks on a venterlator; DoK satisfied.,

      Trump, 14 days time bounces back, ta-darr, “See, like the flu. It just went away; The Pie is correct.

      No disrespect Pie, but I sincerely hope you are wrong.

    • Achilles says:

      I may have read an earlier summation incorrectly; that if raving Rufus does kark it, then Mike Pence steps in, BUT what happens at the election in November?

      As I recall it their constitution gives Nancy Polosi the hot seat.

  51. Alahazbin says:

    To quote Mike O’Connor from the Courier Mail.
    “For the benefit of the unwoke, being woke is a condition manifested by an inability to think individually, a shallow intellect and a desperate need for approval “
    Any one on here.

  52. winni says:


    just curious to know if you are Fat Tony in disguise ?

  53. Dr Felchy says:

    Gotta agree with the self opinionated Magpie on this one – this could quite likely be a ploy from the Orange Oompa Loompa to distance himself from the public after his clusterfuck performance during the debate against Sleepy Joe. It’s a pretty good ploy and the Orange Man likes to play outside of the rules of fair play so I wouldn’t put it past him. And anybody who thinks that the possibility of this being a ruse is worthy of a tinfoil hat is themselves living in the Matrix. Besides, if he does have COVID – good! And if he was to cark it – who gives a shit! He is a despicable piece of crap anyway so one less fuckwit like him in the world won’t do us any harm.

    • The Magpie says:

      And just what makes you think The Magpie is self-opinionated/
      self-opinionated | ˈˌself əˈpinyəˌnādid |
      having an arrogantly high regard for oneself or one’s own opinions: a pompous, self-opinionated bully.
      The Magpie has opinions, otherwise why have a blog, but they rarely if ever are in relation to himself, except on the golf course, where his own self-worth is constantly in question.

  54. Alahazbin says:

    I read in today’s Astonisher, that the charity ‘Act for Kids’ of which Stephen Beckett aka the screaming midget, has moved its base to Townsville.
    Are the labor party re-arranging all their ducks?
    Will he be the next TCC CEO?

  55. The Magpie says:

    Thanks Boris, will save for the blog.

  56. The Magpie says:

    That would be some revelation!!

    Do they ever think about the words they use?

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