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The Magpie

Sunday, January 2nd, 2022   |   208 comments

Welcome To 2022, But A Disclaimer: The Management Of The Nest Takes All Care But  No Responsibility For Whatever Lies In Wait

Perhaps it might soften the blow if The ‘Pie resorts to some high falutin’ froggy-speak …  plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose The unfortunate truth of Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Kar’s famous insight more than 150 years ago remains true … the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sadly, The ‘Pie offers evidence in several areas.

And The Magpie has stayed on alert during the silly season, the traditional time of year when possibly controversial matters are quietly dropped in to our distracted midst. He alerts you to two or three stories you might have missed but certainly that you haven’t heard the last of.

And there is already a wealth of material from the usual suspects that change ain ‘t a priority.

Plus a special message for a special person, old mate Peter Newey. The ‘Pie will explain further, but the message is simple … give it a fucking rest, mate.


The Movie Can’t Be Far Away: Carry On Covid

Laugh, cry and bang your fists with helpless mirth at this frighteningly funny farce, as the madcap gang keep us guessing from moment to moment at their next hilarious hi jinx. Laugh as businesses go broke, guffaw as loonies march the streets and weep tears of merriment as politicians perform daring aerial circus contortions but then get all hilariously tongue-tied when asked to explain the medical advice behind their decisions. The producers of this movie Big Pharm Productions and Ballot Box Bonanza Films expect this blockbuster to have regular long-running sequels, at least until they run out of letters in the Greek alphabet.

Bentley returns – Happy ’22 to you, mate, think you gunna be busy this year – and as usual,  you sum up the year ahead with a single image.

Minefield fin 2This is a rolling argument that requires rolling commentary, so these points from comments over the past week may be a tad out of date, but the underlying point remains valid.

The Magpie 

December 26, 2021 at 12:04 pm  (Edit)

Anything stand out in these NSW stats? Anything hit you in the eye?

Screen Shot 2021-12-26 at 11.48.16 am

Aussies have always been stubborn bastards, and now, despite the continuing chicken-little-the-sky-is-falling alarm in the media and the increasing political arse-covering, the bastards are refusing to die of any form of Covid, which now seems to have more varieties than Heinz. We are turning some sort of corner, and the group that will struggle most with the obvious change of course will be the politicians.

NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard has made this prediction today:

“We would expect that pretty well everybody in NSW at some point will get Omicron … and if we’re all going to get Omicron, the best way to face it is when we have full vaccinations including our booster.”

And in sunny Queensland?

Queensland has recorded 714 new cases, another daily record for the state, with seven people in hospital and none in intensive care.

And none in the ground.

As the economist Galbraith said, “I change my mind when circumstances change, what do you do?’

Then a few days later, this:

The Magpie 

December 30, 2021 at 11:02 am  (Edit)

It is not alarmist to say that things are starting to unravel with this latest clusterfuck from the state government. Yes, vaccinations, lock-down and quarantining were all necessary at the time, and in some cases, still are, but the broad-brush business-killing response to the openly admitted mild Omicron virus has our Premier running for cover. It is sure to come back bite her on the ballot box.

The ludicrously bungled contact tracing regime, in place to paper over the parlous unprepared state of Queensland hospitals, has blown up in the government’s face, exposing the lack of foresight, simple mathematical analysis and policy balance. And when the government gets one of the region’s biggest taxpayers crying foul, and throwing hundreds out of work, something has to give.

Contact tracing Screen Shot 2021-12-30 at 9.14.06 am

If the Palaszczuk government is unfairly targeting Townsville, an inconsistency is exposed when other areas get totally ignored.

The Magpie has solid evidence that Airlie Beach has multiple (not a handful) of COVID positive cases in town at multiple locations, accommodation hotels, bars, clubs , restaurants etc. These people have been in the community for days at the time of getting results, been on aircraft, in taxis and shuttle services, on boats, and visiting islands.

Now perhaps that is to be expected, but not a single COVID alert from Qld Health, no contact tracing, close contacts, nothing, not a word of any cases in the Whitsundays. Is this a blatant, dangerous and irresponsible attempt to salvage the hospitality/tourism vote?

Locals first knew of cases on Xmas eve, and say so did the government. But nothing has been done.

UPDATE TO THAT LAST COMMENT – 24 hours after that was published, several COVID patients were flown to Brisbane for isolation, but the MS media remained silent about the Airlie/Whitsunday outbreak. And of course, as of today, we have a whole new set of slightly bizarre ‘close contact’ rules. They really are making this up as they go along, all of them.

So Is Aaron Harper – But What’s New?

COCK-UP OF THE YEAR … that would be the year that hadn’t  even started when this was mailed out.

If there was evidence that Scott Stewart’s fucked-up giveaway calendar (in last week’s comments) showed he didn’t know what day it was, then Aaron Harpic Harper doesn’t even know what year it is. Fortunately, the calendar printer is right, harpic is wrong.

Harper calendar FB_IMG_1640488631214

And Townsville’s Paper Continues To Live In Its Own reality

It’s that time of year when wishful thinking is rampant … note that ‘wishful thinking’ – ‘I want’ – is  distinct from ‘resolutions’ -‘I will’ –  those self-promises that have the half life of a fart in a fan factory.

Daily-Astonisher-pooAnd our beloved paper, full of wishful thinking during the entire year, ramped its up a bit on January 1. But if we are wishing for a paper with a little more language comprehension, Saturday’s Astonisher did not bode well. This was predictable:

Screen Shot 2022-01-01 at 9.08.18 pm

It was a mixed bag, list ranging from  the Mary Poppins  playbook (the property market will go gang-busters, especially if you advertise in the Bulletin,  Landsown ‘will be more than a pipedream because a master p[an will be released this year’ – the fact that it was ever considered a pipe dream has never been reported in the Townsville Mulletin)) to the Well, Duh! file (Cowboys won’t make the finals, Mayor Mullet and Phil Thompson will keep sniping at each other, kiddy crime will continue unabated) to the deeply analytical predictions (there will more lottery, Keno and scratchy winners in Townsville, Lavarack soldiers will be off to another ‘unplanned’ peace-keeping mission, but where and why are unknown and unstated – Townsville’s night time suburbs, maybe?).

But this is the one that made The ‘Pie’s hopes of a language uptick drop like a stone.

● Hydrogen, the new fad: Townsville is laying the groundwork to become the hydrogen powerhouse of the North with multiple memorandums of understanding in place between key players in the industry and the Port of Townsville. This year, the foundations for Townsville entering the global market will continue to be fortified with interest already growing in the industry.

Seriously, they have no idea what they are writing. A fad?  Mayor Mullet will have their family jewels for that one.

(sigh) from the Dictionary:


fad | fad | noun an intense and widely shared enthusiasm for something, especially one that is short-lived and without basis in the object’s qualities; a craze: prairie restoration is the latest gardening fad in the Midwest

Well, maybe they’re right … but if they are, it is once again by accident.

Then there was this:


And it seems no one is immune, not even whip-smart columnist Shari Tagliabue, one of the few gold fillings in a mouthful of decayed teeth. In Saturday’s paper, she dazzled as usual with her clever take on the usually boring COVID issue with this wonderful summation (‘living on top a meth’s lab’ – brilliant  …

Screen Shot 2022-01-01 at 5.53.12 pm

…and gave us her usual witty snappy closer.

Screen Shot 2022-01-01 at 5.53.40 pm

Clever. But oh dear, the very opening line spoiled the party … it looked like Shari was using Aaron Harper’s calendar.

Screen Shot 2022-01-01 at 9.59.46 pm

Shari opening Screen Shot 2022-01-01 at 10.00.28 pm

Now that’s the sort of thing sub-editors used regularly catch (and in retrospect, The ‘Pie says thank you a thousand times) but thanks to News Corpse policy of avarice, there are now no regular subs, just day jobbers in Mumbai or Manila or somewhere, and the rule is ‘if it’s your by-line, then you buy it and own it’.

So much for the hard and fast rule of generations that you never sub your own copy. Good journos like Shari deserve better.

This Constant Slur Against The Townsville Community Has To End 

Screen Shot 2021-12-20 at 11.59.08 am

The disgracefully named Townsville Residents and Ratepayers Association promoted and supported this whacko demo on The Strand las weekend. But the question is – did the actual residents and ratepayers of Townsville support it?

The numbers answer that question with a resounding NO -just a few dozen public exhibitionists and boneheads in the anti-vaxx, anti-mandate, anti-mask (and anti-social) motley crew turned up to prance, chant and make spittle flecked speeches of deeply disturbed reasoning. A complicit Bulletin, appearing to critical, went out of its way to make the gathering look bigger than it was.

So, no, we ordinary folks did not support this lunacy, we stayed away in our thousands, because we do not support this sort of anti-social, scatterbrained behaviour based on ignorance.

But one FB page did and does support – indeed promote and encourage – these sorts of activities And in a free-ish society, that is fine  but for one thing – THE NAME OF THE TOWNSVILLE RESIDENTS AND RATEPAYERS ASSOCIATION SITE IS A BLATANT LIE AND MISREPRESENTATION OF THIS CITY.

It really is time to do something about the TRRA’s  disgraceful and embarrassing FB page … and that ‘something’ is easy and simple if Peter Newey, in a rare saner moment, has any integrity, decency and pretence to civic responsibility.

Just change the name, Pete.

Something more representative of the sneering, hysterical, often insane conspiracy-driven site – how ‘bout Fruitcakes Forever?  Because it sure as hell DOES NOT represent the views of 99.9% of the residents of Townsville.

That’s all you need to do, Pete, it’s really that simple.

Peter Newey

TRRA’s Peter Newey

You are doing the city and the residents and ratepayers a great disservice and dragging down even further the image of Townsville by suggesting the dangerous foaming lunacy posted by you and others on the site in any way represents the views, beliefs and aspirations of the general Townsville population.

Mate, you came to respectful notice when you followed up on the Magpie’s revelation of the Adani airstrip scandal and got wide media attention when presenting an ultimately successful petition to Walker Street. But you have failed to build constructively on your 15 minutes of fame, it’s clearly addled your head, and you have instead wantonly squandered all the respect and appreciation your Adani action engendered. In short, you have gone completely off the rails and the train wreck of your credibility cannot be rescued. Suggesting that the citizens of Townsville generally support your disinformation, anti-vaxx, reds-under-the-bed and dangerous (if any one took any notice) false reporting is simply a monstrous lie of implication.

Anti-vaxx shoes Screen Shot 2021-12-30 at 9.41.19 am

And Pete, don’t insult us and dig yourself in any deeper by saying that you post negative comments about the FB items that make similar criticisms of the utter crap you publish. And that somehow makes you a pristinely fair and balanced blog administrator? That is asinine in the deepest sense, because any damage  has already been done.

Anti vaxx expert Screen Shot 2021-12-30 at 9.39.40 am

In short, you are a fucking disgrace, Mr Newey, even mental impairment and an inflated ego cannot excuse the damage you are doing. Perhaps this video will help you understand … but maybe not. The final line says it all.

Here Are Three Silly Season Stories That Were Lobbed On You Quietly You Need To keep An Eye On …

We certainly haven’t heard the end of them.

First, a new parking scheme for the Townsville CBD.

Screen Shot 2022-01-01 at 10.09.13 pm

But what is it? Allow The ‘Pie to tell you what it is … nothing new, a bit of tinkering around the edges to thinly disguise an upgraded meter system (at vast and unnecessary cost) to make it easier and cheaper for the council to collect fines. They most certainly didn’t say that … in fact, they said bugger all of substance. It will do nothing for CBD businesses.  A supplier has been chosen, a system preferred but guess what? Quote: ‘The council did not provide any details about the what the new system would look like, but a national investor, which is investing in the region, said any overhaul must include free one-hour street parking to invigorate the CBD.’

Oh, he did, did he? This self-interested bloke – who goes by the unfortunate name Michael Spektor – is now telling the TCC how he would like them to arrange parking to help his Dimmey’s Arcade development.  Don’t remember him getting elected.  Anyway, his idea is the usual unworkable crap, and neither he nor the council have a clue how to reinvigorate the CBD. The Magpie doesn’t either (maybe make it all free parking, and make the Dean Park car park free for CBD workers), but he’s not making utterly stupid, self-serving statements. Put simply, the council is after more revenue in fines.   The ‘Pie will retract that when some deigns to explain to why the current workable system needs to be replaced. More lies and secrets. And BTW, he-who-would-be-mayor Frothy Molachino is making the running on this one, not a Mullet to be seen …, which adds to the argument that there’s no votes in this waste of money.

On the state scene, there’s this one which will blow up soon enough.

Iso debt enforcer Screen Shot 2021-12-26 at 10.16.17 am

This is nothing short of disgusting – government orders hotel isolation, charges their victims for it, and now gets commercial scabs to harass them for the thousands owed – this is especially heinous coming from a Labor government. Will be interesting to see how it flies.

And nationally, this is simply a disgrace, what has happened to us as a society? Hardly reported at all.

Screen Shot 2021-12-31 at 5.37.00 pm

There is little doubt that these demonstrating arseoles are responsible but nothing followed up in the media.  WTF? Surely there has to be some consequences for this, but why is the MS media so quiet on it? At least the New Daily gave us some bare bone facts.


Not Much For An Interesting American Gallery This Week

… but Vogue keeps us up with all those trends in the Big Apple soon to be seen locally at Tom’s Tavern, the Bellevue and pubs in the Upper Ross.

Mens fashion change Screen Shot 2021-12-31 at 8.44.44 am

That’s better?

My, my,  how times have changed, even in buzzy New York, it’s not all sparkles, eye glitter and KY. The city has been a excitement centre for decades …remember this is 1954.

Marilyn Monroe 7 year itch 61R56fpm3mL._SY679_

Alas, times have changed … and could be a metaphor for America itself.

Marilyn Monroe eat ya heart out Screen Shot 2021-12-20 at 10.23.54 am

The Loopiest Loophole

And it seems the lunacy in the political arena in the US has spread to the bureaucracy. The following is not a joke noir a spoof.

In Australia, we so often follow the example of America in business and in politics … but will we go that extra mile and have our Australian Tax Office follow America’s IRS guidelines on … stolen property?  No, you misunderstand, not if it’s stolen from you … if you did the stealing, you have to declare it. And not at the price Frankie the Fence quoted you … it must be at fair market value.

IRS stolen goods  Screen Shot 2022-01-01 at 9.57.18 am

Or else? That’s the question, or else, what?

This instance of bureaucracy gone bonkers is absolutely true, the indispensable fact-checking and bullshit-busting site Snopes has the story. (Check out the’ finders keepers’ tax rule at the end, too.)

The handy regulations also list how to report embezzled funds, notes that bribes are considered “nondeductible expenses,” and notes that kickbacks, side commissions, and “push money’ must also be included in the Schedule 1 (Form 1040), line 8z, or on Schedule C (Form 1040) if from self-employment activity.

Ya just gotta love the shinybums of the world.

And Finally … Enjoy The Cricket – Don’t Know If The Poms Will, Though




That’s our kick off for the year, dive into comments and start the ball rolling on any of the above or anything that exercises you … comments run 24/7. And sincere thanks to those who found time to help out the Nest expenses despite the Christmas demands on the wallet and purse.

Happy New Year to all Nesters.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Peter Whoey? says:

    They say a wise man never travels with an idiot……because there will always be one at the destination.
    Newey is Townsville’s prize idiot.
    Southern escapees note….leave your idiots down south. We have plenty to go around.

  2. WTF!!! says:

    I’m definitely not anti mask but I am still to be convinced how not wearing one while walking around spreads the virus but if you sit down to eat or drink you’re not. If I walk past you while you’re sitting you’re still breathing it out for me to walk through I’m guessing? But you get a fine if your walking in an indoor area without your mask on but if you walk around with below your mouth while eating or drinking you don’t get a fine? The mask thing is probably correct in doing it but the rules are just completely weird as to why by the politicians. Just look at the idiot CHO in south Australia. “If the ball is kicked at you during the AFL match today don’t touch it it might have Covid on it” if anyone remember that little doozy last year, sorry but it doesn’t make sense sometimes. Much like TRRA.

  3. Mike Douglas says:

    Happy New Year Pie and nesters and best wishes for 2022 . The Townsville Bully saturday edition did highlight (again ) 46 % increase in break-ins in the Ville since 2017 in fact more than 10 houses a day were broken into and 3 cars stolen . Is it a year in February another Taskforce headed by FIFO Senior QPS officer has been in operation . Its also 3 years since ” Townsvilles voice : local solutions to address youth crime handed down 3rd december 2018 $290k Captains Call by Premier Palaszczuk to a retired major general . Didnt hear a peep from our 3 local MP,s when Police Minister Mark Ryan cancelled a local Police shift checking whether prolific juvenile offenders were flouting bail conditions by bail curfew checks , where they even consulted ? . Adani , Bravus loaded and shipped their first coal this week after allocating over a bil $ of contracts in regional Queensland creating thousands of jobs . Will the activists who helicopter in essential supplies like booze now move on ? .

    • Alahazbin says:

      MD, Dropping the funding for the QP to check on the ‘little snots’ to make sure they are compliant with their bail conditions isn’t such a big deal.
      Under the Youth Justice Act breach of bail is not an offence. So what happens if they aren’t compliant? There is no charge. Police won’t have to write it up, so no data recorded. That makes he ‘statistics look even better. Winner Winner for Labor and the ‘three blind mice’. Just part of the plan!

  4. Bentley says:

    Can anyone out there explain to me the plague of red arrows at traffic light controlled intersections? If the driving population is so lacking in spatial awareness and judgement how are we then able to negotiate uncontrolled intersections? Admittedly there are a few spots in The ‘Ville that are a bit tricky, but more often than not they (red arrows) represent an unnecessary frustrating waste of fuel, time, and patience. We all should know we can’t turn across oncoming traffic, but when there is none, let’s go! Perhaps I’m just getting old and grumpy.

    • The Magpie says:

      Indeed, those lights are for the young and impatient. And stupid.

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      Bit like the warning on car batteries Bentley, ‘Don’t drink the contents of this battery’ ! Probably all comes down to Main Roads/City Council not wanting to be sued for not having the bloody annoying red arrows there to stop the .01% of idiots who don’t pay attention at intersections ! Yes, I’ll wait for the highlighting comparison of the .01% well known idiot !!

  5. Interested observer says:

    Current trend in Courier Mail online poll asking if Kid Crisafulli can beat Mother Duck Anna at the next election is interesting, to say the least.
    I voted around 7.45am this morning and it was The Kid 74% – Mother Duck 26%.
    Early days, I know, but there is an interesting trend developing right at the height of the Labor Government’s covid clusterfuck.
    On the local scene Ann-Maree “Gushing” Greaney has been making hay (as “acting” mayor) while the sun shines by turning into a bigger media tart than that local doctor who’s a self-appointed expert on everything.
    Which raises the question: is Deputy Mayor Frothy Molachino also away on holidays, or has he been replaced as the heir apparent?
    Given Gushing’s lame duck New Year predictions for the city next year – not even a mention of her puppeteer Jenny’s pet Landsdown project – she could be next to get the punt, if she hasn’t already.
    For her personal safety let’s hope the The Gusher is away on holidays herself when Jenny returns.
    On a brighter note, Happy New Year to all.
    Strap yourself in – it’s going to be a rough ride (well, rougher than usual, at least).

  6. Cantankerous but happy says:

    I think Townsville may actually have a good year this year, after another shocker where the living standards and wealth of Townsville people dropped further again. We are the poorest town of any reasonable size by a long way, our real estate values are still less than 10 years ago and most people with a bit of coin keep leaving the town, because they can, leaving mostly busted arse wannabes and dreamers. So despite all that, and having the worst Mayor and council anyone could imagine, Townsville should have a good year this year, there are some fairly solid indicators of increased investment in mid sized quantifiable projects, these are not the projects Jenny Hill and the Astonisher dribble endless shit about, these will actually happen. Investment in domestic dwellings will remain poor, which is actually a good thing, causing rents to rise which should lead to some reasonable rises in real estate prices, finally. Now all that is required is for the Mullet, Molachino and co to go on a long trip somewhere so they can’t fuck it all up.

  7. Charlie Wulguru says:

    Did anyone check to see if Messagebank is in Hospital or the Lock-up.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Why would you want too, apart from holiday boredom?

      • Hugh Jarse says:

        Well, why not inquire Kelso Dave? After all its the silly season and Messagebank has more than enough form to expect the possibility of him doing something stupid, given the alcohol he’s probably consuming………

  8. Geoff says:

    Ah the stories I could tell about working and knowing Harpic…. He’ll insist either that it IS 2020, or that people within his own party are trying to hobble him from stabbing them in the back. He might take a stab at the opposition, but that won’t get him to the premier’s office as fast as using cutlery in his colleagues.

    • The Magpie says:

      But there are those around who see Aaron … and themselves … as victims of a heartless Magpie and his ilk, who should cease and desist the his dastardly attacks on those in public life.

      When The ‘Pie posted the Harpic 2020 calendar and a jocular comment on FB, who should waddle onto the scene to defend both Harpic and carelessness with public money than Ewen Jones. With a shrug of the shoulders at our pettiness, he admitted – sort of boasted – he did something similar when the member for Herbert, but, hey, what’s the big deal? And he certainly had it in for The Magpie on a personal and weirdly discombobulated level. That led to the following lively exchange.

      This went on for a while, but The ‘Pie won’t bore you with the whole thing, it started to be like shooting fish in a barrel and mocking the afflicted, so it ended up with this.

      Poor old Ewen, basically a nice enough dunderhead, but clearly suffering a bad case of Relevance Deprivation Syndrome. After six undistinguished years as the member for Herbert, he was shoe-horned out by Labor hole-in-the-air Cathy O’Toole by just 37 votes. He’s still smarting. He’s now flogging cars for a living … but has he got a nice little mysterious side-earner going, flogging something or another around Parliament House? Or is he himself urgently in need of a sub-editor?

      Goofy is as goofy does.

      • Achilles says:

        I recall a few years back when chatting with Hubbs on 4TTT he quipped that if his daughter needed to call emergency “she would probably text rather than call 911″

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          I take it you were in the USA at the time.

          • Achilles says:

            Dave, you missed the point I was quoting Jones who didn’t get the right emergency number.
            Probably watches too much US TV (mindless sitcom)

          • Hugh Jarse says:

            Hmmm, Achilles’ comment went right over your head Dave of Kelso.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Sorry, I missed something, extract below;

            with Hubbs on 4TTT he quipped that if his daughter needed to call emergency “she would probably text rather than call 911

            That was Hubbs daughter? No mention that he was quoting Jones in your all too brief extract, correct?? If he was, you might give more of the back story to, as they say, set the stage, paint the picture, give the back drop. FFS, express your self clearly, in detail, and make no assumptions about the reader’s prior subject knowledge. You might find JSP 101 a useful publication. It should be on the internet somewhere.

          • Achilles says:

            Quod scripsi, scripsi

          • The Magpie says:

            Thank you, Mr Pilate.

          • Achilles says:

            Not so formal Pie, please just call me Pontius.

          • The Magpie says:

            Quod scripsi, scripsi

          • Achilles says:

            Toccare mate.

          • The Magpie says:

            hahaha … that took a bit of working out, since ‘toccare’ means ‘to touch’ in Italian and Latin … wondered if you’d gone all spangled leotards on us. But in the end, it seems you meant the French fencing term (which is a refined version of touch) ‘touche’, as in gotcha. Mate, curating this site’s comments, The ‘Pie has enough problems with English, givvus breakum .

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Agreed Pie. Jones is a likeable king dunderhead and being beaten by an inept ALP badger and hanky-wringer like ‘The Tool’ is something he will never live down.

  9. Dave of Kelso says:

    I hope the little snots do not take up this French New Year’s Eve tradition. What is ‘little snot’ in French?


    • The Magpie says:

      Petite boogers maybe?

      Link not working but headline says it all.

    • Dorfus says:

      No need to. For a small town like Townsville, they’ve already clocked up 1100 stolen cars in a year, many of them burnt out – compared to the less than 900 for the whole of France (admittedly on one night, but fortunately NY celebrations don’t last all year).

  10. Nickster says:

    Newey is an example of the clever but vulnerable in society who have been able to point out hypocrisy of the State and Local government but then baited into ridicule and craziness to hide and discredit the truths they have discovered.

    The Double Standards by the Palaszczuk are revolting and I feel for those who are confused when the example below shows there are rules for the general public, and exemptions for the Qld Government;
    An unvaccinated healthcare worker may continue to work in a healthcare facility if they are providing critical support needs or emergency services, and working due to shortage of staff.
    Copied from: https://www.qld.gov.au/health/conditions/health-alerts/coronavirus-covid-19/current-status/public-health-directions/requirements-for-workers-in-healthcare-settings

    Pie, while TRRA are an easy target, don’t inadvertently become part of the machinery of the Palaszczuk government nor be distracted by those in power.

    • The Magpie says:

      Haven’t the faintest clue what that last incomprehensible line means, quite stupid, just a bunch of words you’ve strung together to try and sound clever. Bad luck. The regulars who follow this blog will be just as mystified and amused if you think The ‘Pie has any inclination or lack of nous to become part of Palaszczuk’s vortex, but the old bird sure is distracted by those in power and he outs them as often as possible. Really, mate, what are you on?

      And the entire piece about the TRRA and Newey’s stewardship of it is simply the name … what he does on the site is of absolutely no interest to The Magpie, being extreme and looney as it has been over the years. Any good that he has done is completely undone by his deeply demented theories and enthusiasms in TRRA’s evidence-free zone.

      Pete happily claims he can say what he likes because he’s got no money, and we all know (The Magpie certainly appreciates) it’s a self-defeating exercise to sue the impecunious. Age pensions are quarantined from such civil actions and would indeed be slim pickings anyway.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Did somebody say ‘Nous’???

      • Nickster says:

        Good pick up, I really shouldn’t have posted after getting on the red wine early at lunch. I’ve had a reread and can’t understand what I was on about either.

        Newey is certifiable but unfortunately the double standards the government creates and continual spin just puts more fuel on the fire.

  11. The Magpie says:

    Vale Betty White.

    She seemed a nice old duck,and by all reports carried her gentleness off the screen as well. She had wonderful comedic timing.

    Heard it only the once, but one of her beautifully delivered lines from the Golden Girls has stuck in my mind was when she was being wistful about a pet dog of her childhood on the farm. The dog had died, and when asked how, she said ‘He lifted his leg on an electric fence. Yes, I’ll never forget ol’ Sparky.’

  12. The Magpie says:

    As a valued occasional commenter, Nickster, you stir in The Magpie breast a duty of care to assist and protect from your temporary mental difficulties … The ‘Pie would be distraught – to paraphrase you – to see you become an easy target of the TRRA, and inadvertently become part of the Peter Newey machinery of fruitcakery and be distracted by the power of his sad maunderings.

    Here ya go, Nickster, here’s one example – and it is just one – from the TRRA FB page that you are defending.

    Now, just so you get the full flavour of this utter blithering tosh, let’s look a little closer … and The ‘Pie will not even attempt to correct these deeply demented hen scratchings. First the message.

    Then the bold proclamation delievred with all the pomp and dignity one would expect from such a unstoppable movement.

    But, oh dear, someone’s had an attack of the Aaron Harpers … check the date in the close-up.

    So, still want to promote and defend this sort of foaming lunacy, which is made in the name of Townsville’s residents and ratepayers?

    • Parakeet Pete says:

      Holy shit Magpie, that is some seriously fucked up lunacy. Somebody ought to remove their tinfoil hats immediately and then check this mob in for a stay at Townsville Private Clinic where they can undergo electric shock therapy (then again that didn’t work for Harpic, Jen, Prins or Messagebank). Where do they get these fruitcake ideas from, Alex Jones?

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Good grief, where do these ideas come from?

    • Jabbed, thrice says:

      Pie, you fixate on newly and bully. No one would read either if you didn’t draw attention to the waffle they produce. Yep, they are shit; with nothing to say. Easy targets for anyone with 1/4 brain. Both have disciples. Rusted on but dying out as Darwin so eloquently predicted in 1859. Thankfully.

      Save your energy for the targets that actually affect the lives of the prosperous living.

      • The Magpie says:

        When prospective investors, tourists or residents Google Townsville, TRRA comes up prominently. It doesn’t matter what we around here think, we know his a fruitcake, but the damage is beyond our city limits. No one follows the TRRA website, but people find it inadvertently.

        No one takes any notice of the Magpie’s Nest outside the ‘ville (it’s designed that way), so alerting the locals to the sins committed in their name is a service and does no harm to the city.

        • Browser says:

          No matter how many times prospective investors, tourists or residents Google “Townsville” they will not find TRRA. It does not come up in the first 19 pages of search.

          • The Magpie says:

            Christ, Peter Newey’s heading for the knife drawer. Someone doing us a favour behind the scenes?

            But that doesn’t change the basic argument about the title. The least offensive thing one could say about it is ‘presumptuous in extremis.’

    • Alahazbin says:

      Pie, Looks like something that Pat Coleman would put up on the TCC building.

  13. Tas says:

    I’m not 100% sure, but isn’t that blast of nonsense headed by a coat of arms. The Queens personal coat of arms, as used in the UK?
    I can’t imagine she cares a jot for the scattered and meandering thought farts of some distant colonial. Not when Boris Johnson is so close to hand.

  14. Prince Rollmop says:

    How are they hanging empty nesters! It’s wonderful to have flown back into the Ville today after a little downtime. I don’t mess about with New Years resolution and other such meaningless folly. But not to be a complete killjoy, I’m hoping the Pie will extend me some latitude and allow this link to be posted. For me, very funny stuff – 2021 Top 10 shit people. Worth a giggle. Enjoy.


  15. Cantankerous but happy says:

    At the shops yesterday, I didn’t realise the mask mandate was optional for indigenous people.

    • The Magpie says:

      And how long have you been in Townsville?

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      And as a group in Townsville their double vaccination rate was only 55.58% as at 22 December. If unmasked best to give them a wide berth. Fucking irresponsible.


      • I’ll be plucked says:

        More racist remarks from Kelso – he has a history of making racist comments on this blog, doesn’t seem to be able to ‘help himself’. :(

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        You’re a racist Kelso and I’m calling you out. You have plenty of form via this blog. Seek help old fella.

        • The Magpie says:

          OK, since you’ve brought the blog into this, please give us your definition of racist.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Pie, this is the definition of racist to which I ascribe. It is not ‘my definition’, it is from the Oxford Dictionary and one that I have believed in for many years:

            ‘Prejudiced against or frequently antagonistic towards a person, or people’s on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalised’.

            Thanks for asking.

          • The Magpie says:

            OK, that’s fair enough (can we say ‘fair’?)

            But that then begs the question: is it then prohibited to make a critical comment when a number of people belonging to given group are observed flouting the regulations and laws? Especially if the person making the comment notes that members of other ethnic groups are not behaving in the same manner? And the behavior criticised has the potential to harm the person making the comment, as well as the public generally. Such behaviour cannot in this instance be excused because the target is a minority or a marginalised group.

            Please note, Plucker, the ugly fact of real racism certainly exists and is to be deplored, but this is discussion about freedom of expression in rare instances that should not be curtailed, bullied or criticised with charges of racism. Especially when you cite as your justification what ‘you have seen’ not what the commenter saw and was commenting on? The ‘Pie sees this as a knee-jerk attempt to stifle free comment by introducing racism as a defence against dangerous anti-social behaviour, especially since you chose to make it an ad hominem attack on the commenter rather than bring some balance to the issue.

            Some who eagerly jump into the virtue signalling pond often find they can’t swim.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Thanks for your wise counsel Pie. You asked and I gave. You replied and I thank you. Matter concluded. Plucka

          • Grumpy says:

            You are missing the point, Phucker. Applying your adopted definition, how was Kelso’s original comment racist?

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          You are the petulant child, stamping your feet, turning blue in the face, shouting, “racist racist”, to shut down a conversation, or individual that does not conform to your world view.

          You have not addressed the subject, you play the man, not the ball.

          I judge people by their behavior, and the discharge of their responsibilities, not the colour of their skin.

          Now, if you were to stamp your feet, going blue in the face shouting, “behaviorist, behaviorist “, I would say, “Spot on me old China “. (Can we still say that?)

          Oh, by the way, is Pat Dodson a racist for calling out bad behavior in the Aboriginal community?


          Have a very nice day.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Mask optional isn’t a race thing. It’s an ignorance or cost thing. Plenty of white people getting around with no mask and some people who think you only get covid through your chin.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Enjoy drooling over your woke award Ducks, but youre an ignorant pathetic tosser, only 2 groups of people that I could see at the Fairfield Central yesterday with no masks at all, both indigenous families, parent, adults , teenagers and kids, no masks, no shoes, They weren’t the only people in the mall with no shoes, but they were the only ones with no masks.

        • The Magpie says:

          All a bit so whatish, fellas. Nothing proved about anything.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          Cuntankerous, since you only got to Fairfield, you probably aren’t in a position to comment on other areas of Townsville.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            At the Coles shopping center Nth Buderim yesterday there were a significant number of ‘special people’ not wearing masks. I would guess 10%+/-. Not good if the medical scientists are to be believed, and I trust them over the politicians.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Ok, ok, to keep it clear for my critic, the ‘special people’ reference was a sledge at those who, upon doing their own research, have established that the mask mandate does not refer to them.

  16. Interested observer says:

    I asked Jenny Hill whether she was going to make the same New Year’s resolution again this year- you know, the one about being more transparent, but she said she couldn’t comment because it was Commercial-in-Confidence.

    • New Years what!! says:

      What’s the bet that all state borders open up and Covid becomes normal if albo wins the election? And case numbers overnight doesn’t not matter all of a sudden? Will Jenny come out of hiding then also?

  17. The Magpie says:

    There’s a lot to be said for a positive outlook, and Townsville should be thankful that it now has its very own Pollyanna Professor, our old mate Colin Dwyer. Yes, he’s apparently now a professor, albeit academia’s bargain basement version ‘adjunct professor’. Which is, one supposes, a step up from being the Townsville Bulletin’s performing pet poodle on economic matters.

    And there can be no doubt that Col’s a smart cookie, able to perceive good news that makes the rest of we us seem churlish for having been a bit down in the mouth.

    Successful, eh? Perhaps, but only because even COVID didn’t want to come here.

    This uplifting yarn story in the Daily Astonisher starts:

    “TOWNSVILLE’S ability to step up and save the day amid the pandemic was a driving force behind the city’s economic success in 2021, according to a soon-to-be-released reported”.

    Reported? Where’d that ‘d’ come from? Oh, never mind, it’s to be expected.

    But back to the main game.

    Professor Pollyanna’s assertions raise a few questions. Like how do you know, indeed, what measure was used, to support the assertion that ‘job security was improved’? And for that matter, just what is ‘job security’? And gosh, ‘job adverts improved compared to the previous year’… umm, that would Aaron Harper’s much-celebrated 2020, would it, the year COVID ran rampant through the economy and control measures scythed through the job market, throwing unprecedented numbers out of work and busting many businesses? Then, when things started to quieten down, employers needed to get workers back? And adverts improved? CSI wants you, Col.

    So there you are, a report compiled by securely tenured academics, untethered from the vicissitudes of capitalist economics (like getting fired or taking pay cuts) – folks who, as we know, work at the coal face of reality, always down and dirty in the real world, dis-dissembling data from the page, extracting unnoticed nuggets of good news we otherwise missed. And then holding hands they skip merrily down the path of prosperity in 2022.

    Look, the Bulletin specialises in unexamined and unalloyed business optimism to ensure it maintains the good will of its advertisers, and that’s OK-ish if kept within the bounds of credibility. But the persistent incurious reporting policy argues against that, and against reports like these that go unquestioned. Like, we boosted our reputation as an international tourist destination? Really?

    Adjunct Professor Dwyer’s Pollyanna view of the Townsville is best summed up in a recent Garfield cartoon … particularly apt if Mayor Mullet remains in charge of disasters.

    • Confused says:

      No offence intended but is that Professor a male or a female?

      • The Magpie says:

        The T shirt has you fooled … pretty sure Col has got all the required tackle and The ‘Pie is guessing his wife made him wear it if he wants any boudoir booty anytime soon.

        • Grumpy says:

          …or he is a virtue-signalling twat

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          Wife or not, the bloke is a six pack short of a carton and plenty of people who had dealings with him were happy to see the twat leave town to take up residency in Brisbane.
          Wonder what brought him back !

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      What exactly is an Adjunct Professor? Perhaps it is like an Appendix – a now useless thing best removed.

      I have heard of Emeritus Professors, perhaps the Colin version is Mediocratus Professor?

  18. Sea dog says:

    The local federal government agency the Department of agriculture, water and environment has asked its staff to stay home for all of January due to COVID. The funny thing in Townsville is that most of these bludgers have been working from home anyway and boasting about how they spend most of their time doing housework, watching movies and running personal errands. Executives have been rorting it for many months. And an assistant Secretary based in Townsville (who does nothing) is almost permanently M.I.A. No wonder the maritime industry can’t get its imports processed in a timely fashion and there are massive delays that are costing industry millions of lost dollars. And apparently the agencies restructure has been a dismal failure and Scomo is looking at rolling some heads in Canberra. You just can’t make this shit up.

    • The Magpie says:

      Unless you just did.
      How do you know this? Not necessarily doubting, just asking.

      • Sea dog says:

        I am very closely connected to the industry….very closely.

        • The Magpie says:

          Ok. Certainly sounds like it.

          • Cyril the Stevedore says:

            The issues with the Department go back a long way, especially in Townsville. There is a poor culture that has been in place for years. Management, who are meant to be rotated every few years, have made it an art form of avoiding that process. Apparently Townsville is the only location in Queensland where that shit goes on. On a positive note the front line inspectors are not too bad to deal with from my experience, they do their best. The issues are with the more slippery senior level, the old guard as well as the new guard, who get away with shit due to the old “out of sight, out of mind” reason. The bigger bosses are spread out all over the country and have no idea what goes on locally. They are being blindsided. Talking to other industry players the main issue is basically just here in Townsville. I’m not sure who ‘sea dog’ is but he/she is bang on the money.

  19. fashionfista says:

    On a style note – never wear a white t-shirt unless you’re really fit, regardless what’s printed on it.

    Also his credibility is in shreds wearing a jacket in Townsville. Many quasi experts wear suits or jackets in Townsville to state “hey look at me I’m smart I wear a jacket” yet fail to consider that its a million degrees and a thousand percent humidity, with end result everyone looks at them and thinks “wanker”.

  20. Fuckwittery says:

    People like Colin Dwyer are truly special individuals.

    Adjunct Professor, seriously the bloke hasn’t even got close to post graduate work.

    I do like the typical dictionary definition of Adjunct: a thing added to something else as a supplementary rather than an essential part.

    As known as an ashtray on a motorbike.

  21. The Magpie says:

    OK LISTEN UP, CITIZEN JOURNALISTS Here is your first assignment for the year.

    The Magpie has been reliably told that Townsville City Council has appointed a new Chief Information Officer (CIO) to lead the troubled department with its chequered history, a department which has been accused in the past of ineptitude and always being a couple of phases behind best practice technology.

    Now it’s no secret thatsomeone was being sought for the position and the search has been on since at least last September. Or has it? Was there a search at all, or yet another backroom deal has been done? Possibly courtesy of the part-time FIFO CEO, Prins The Prince Ralston?

    Because although the new incumbent, due to start in a few weeks, has not yet been named, The ‘Pie is told he comes to the TCC from … ta da … Nous.

    Was this all stitched up even before the ads went out a few months ago? To consolidate the hold on the power, the perks and political influence of the self-styled Walker Street elite?

    And to make it even more intriguing, the salary offered will be more than interesting … the last published CIO take-home was a measly $74K, and hardly likely to attract a high flying accomplished Info Bod.


    • The Magpie says:

      Seems this is the bloke, been with Nous in Brisbane for four and a half years. Seems a decent enough fella, wonder if he knows what he’s got himself into.

      • F Wit says:

        Jesus, is he related to Pizza The Hut???

      • Kylie says:

        He has zero ICT qualifications, I can’t wait for Cr. Fran to question this one.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Looks like he has dined with Clive Palmer a few times – check out the buccula! I would say the role as CIO is a bit of spending money. He too is a consultant, board director, so add in CIO and he is making some good dollars. The other question to pose would be; will he be based in Townsville, or will we be paying for his long distance travel arrangements the same way we funded the part-time frequent flying TCC CEO?

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Perhaps too incompetent to let loose on an important client and too expensive to just give the shove, so park him up in the top paddock near the trough.

        Townsville continues to be a milking cow for Jenny and her mates.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Very good intel Magpie, it’s seems like there is more than one Nous in the house, so to speak. My guess is that the incumbent will have different tasks assigned to their role compared with the previous person, which will justify a significantly higher pay packet. And if, as you suggest, the person is a Nouse friend, that will be the first bit of work that the lazy bargearse Ralston has done. I expect more of his acolytes to join him in the near future.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      You are right in that the TCC IT department is a couple of steps behind the eight ball. IMO this is because the organisation does not treat IT with the seriousness it deserves.  The CIO in the current structure, reports to the Director of Business Services who has the Business and IT capabilities of a garden gnome. The organisation actively bypasses the IT functions because the IT department is drastically underresourced.  For years, people with personal agendas have been allowed to play games in that department, bringing in new toys that have cost ratepayers money and failed.  The Sustainability section run by Greg Bruce has run uncontrolled programs that bypass IT systems and protocols and suck up time and funding that could be used for operational efficiencies.  And the organisation makes poorly planned, poorly timed decisions that impact the IT department on a regular basis so they are forever in a reactive mode, rather than a proactive mode. I’m sure I have missed many reasons why this department doesn’t function well, but it’s certainly not because of some of the amazing staff who work their asses off to hold the place together.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Curious where you got you $74k figure from Magpie.
      TCC is currently advertising for a Senior Health Safety and Wellbeing Business Partner (a much less important job) as an LGO 8 ($105,000 – $118,600 per annum + superannuation) based on skills, qualifications and experience.
      You can find it on Seek. A CIO s a management position, would be on contract. As are all management positions. And therefore according to industrial law paid over and above the award wages. Much more over. So whoever gave you this information gave you bum steer.

      • The Magpie says:

        The initial info came from the Indeed job placement site, but The ‘Pie admits it was undated. However, the subsequent search up the salary a bit. Happy to be corrected.

        How much does a Chief Information Officer make at Townsville City Council in Townsville, QLD?
        Average Townsville City Council Chief Information Officer yearly pay in Townsville, QLD is approximately $74,577, which is 9% below the national average.
        Salary information comes from 12 data points collected directly from employees, users, and past and present job advertisements on Indeed in the past 36 months.
        Please note that all salary figures are approximations based upon third party submissions to Indeed. These figures are given to the Indeed users for the purpose of generalised comparison only. Minimum wage may differ by jurisdiction and you should consult the employer for actual salary figures.

    • Sneaky Pete says:

      Over the past few months the role title has changed from Chief Information Officer to General Manager, Digital and Information Services to now – Chief Digital and Information Officer.

  22. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    I read that another two directors have quit the Magnis board.

    Rats scuttling off the leaking boat?

    • The Magpie says:

      Where was that, oh,Wonderous One?

      • The Wulguru Wonder says:

        I will email you the details

        • Addled says:

          FFS WW, this is last year’s news, posted 29/11/21 on Magnis’s website front page. Try to keep up.

          • The Magpie says:


            ‘Late December announcement’, eh? In fact, December 29th, a perfect time to slide in some unpalatable news that has to be reported. That ain’t anywhere near 29/11/21.

            Now say sorry.
            You too, Tropical, except in your case, for everything you’ve ever said.

          • The Wulguru Wonder says:

            Thanks for your civil and considered reply, Addled.

            I agree it is easy to get confused all the recent comings and goings to the Magnis board.

            However, I believe the 29 November 2021 announcement relates to the departure of former director Richard Petty.

          • The Magpie says:

            Correct. It’s almost as busy as the Astonisher’s staff turnstile.

          • Addled says:

            Beg your pardon, my typo – I meant 29/12/21. The information published in the Australian was all over the Magnis website last Wednesday ie. last year. One retiring director, Whittington (Nobel prize) turned 80 last month. Can’t understand why the Australian newspaper hasn’t followed up on its ‘rant’ about Magnis – the ASX ‘inquiry’ into Frank Poullas has come to nothing, the drug runner connection looks like a beat up, Australian big shareholder Citicorp Nominees has increased its influence and the share price is increasing by the day – all information on the front page of the Magnis website which any idiot can look up. Like the Magpie’s Nest, maybe the Australian has its own agenda?

          • The Magpie says:

            Last line totally correct and the same agenda … bringing crooks to account.

            And The ‘Pie guesses comment all that passes as apology for your FFS try to keep advice, which was based on YOUR mistake?

          • The Magpie says:

            Hmmm, first of all, journalists do not leave it to the general public to read obscure jargonised documents that are offered without any context.

            And could you please provide a link to where the ASX inquiry in Poullas and Magnis ‘has come to nothing’ … could be but The ‘Pie sure missed it. And why does a clear connection with Turkish drug smugglers a beat-up? Unlike you, The Australian, the AFR and other reputable MS papers and news sites don’t just make stuff up, they provide photos, timelines and most importantly, names to back their facts … names which can always sue a news organisation if they feel they have been slighted. Nothing in that arena yet, but according to your lame analysis, there soon will be.

            And just to expand on your Jenny-boosting agenda about The Magpie having his own agenda … of course he bloody does, cloth-head, and it’s no secret, it’s is written here every week. To wit: Will Jenny Hill publicly cut any council ties with a company that is seriously suspected and in some cases proved to have lax ethical standards and a history of non-performance and missing any number of dead lines? We’ll have more on that in this weekend’s blog, if you can stand it.

            Takes one to know one, eh?

          • Addled says:

            Magpie, if you are going to get on the Magnis horse again and you don’t want to be bamboozled by “obscure jargonised documents that are offered without any context”, may I suggest an ASX website which bundles up all the latest announcements and share price movements etc. that I, as a complete novice, find pretty digestible. I note that the Magnis chair, Frank Poullas (accused of “pump and dump” and consorting with Turkish drug runners amongst other sins), has recently been reelected to his position by the shareholders of the company, the largest of which, Sydney-based Citicorp Nominees, appears to have raised its influence in the company.


          • The Magpie says:

            All of which waffle somehow absolves Magnis and Poullas, and their continual non-performance and story-changing in regards to Lansdown? And our mayor’s silence on the TCC on-going involvement which carries an unacceptable risk level for public money?

            And you reinforce The ‘Pie’s point about obscure jargon with your direction to the ASX documents. The excellent work of the Australian and AFR journalists is to sift through such documents and add context and connection where none would exist to the casual observer. That’s what journalists do. But here’s a question: why are you championing the highly questionable behaviour involved here? Goodness, you’re not a Jenny kneeler trying to deflect attention, are you? If so, bad luck, the Magnis horse has been fed and watered, ready for another gallop – in fact, in tomorrow’s blog. Put your tongue away for a moment and have a read.

            And link can’t be reached … seems it is subscribers only?

          • Addled says:

            Agreed, highly questionable behaviour. And no doubt, journalists have put their argument on the table. But so have investors (by re-electing Poullas in November AFTER the ‘pump and dump’ allegations) and in the end they will decide if this company stays the distance. If Magnis pulls off its strategy to produce, outside of China, a super high speed lithium battery recharge system, the whole world will benefit from it. So far, they seem to be making progress with the technology whilst holding together tenuous threads of a corporate strategy. None of this may ever mean a jot for Townsville but I find it incredibly interesting regardless.

            I’m having trouble finding a decent entree to the website (which is completely public, no paywall) but you could try googling “market index magnis” and click on the first marketindex reference. It’s definitely there.

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie accesses it regularly, but he always encourages commenters to provide links – why shouldn’t they, The ‘Pie really doesn’t have the time to do so, and therefore the arguments (not just yours) often fall short. The old bird has enough on his hands writing his own drivel with trying to spruce up that of others.

      • Tropical says:

        It was in the pathetic pages called business section that the useless Raggatt runs.
        Dont you read the Bulletin?

        • The Magpie says:

          So what if it was? if Tony writes something in the Astonisher, it suddenly becomes exclusive, and can’t be mentioned again here? Grow up, you pathetic little creature.

          • Tropical says:

            Raggatt did not write it, it was a cut and paste job.

          • The Magpie says:

            Your reference was to the business section he runs in the Bulletin … and as far as The ‘Pie can see no one has said Raggatt wrote it… which he certainly didn’t, you blind brick.

            … and is irrelevant anyway, and just a foaming attempt to deflect from the content. And no, my ignorant little squeaker, it was not a ‘cut and paste’ job, it was internally supplied story from a senior journalist within the News organisation. Big difference, but you really wouldn’t know.

            No need to apologise, we make allowance for the developmentally delayed Jenny kneelers.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      No need to panic, it will soon be announced that Elizabeth Holmes is joining the Magnis board and Jenny Hill has every confidence this project will proceed.

  23. Snowpeas says:

    A whole page devoted to Cowboys pics and statistics in Courier Mail today (P.49) – “Cowboys are facing a rough ride again – underwhelming recruits and a lack of depth will again leave North Queensland out of the top eight” writes Chris Honnery.
    2022 Prediction: Finish 16th.

  24. Nickster says:

    Once again, the Queensland Government is caught out with all spin no substance.

    Panic and hysteria everywhere about COVID tests, meanwhile in Queensland there are two companies making Rapid Antigen Tests (RTA) in Brisbane and exporting them overseas .

    https://www.ellumehealth.com/ at 57 Didsbury Street, East Brisbane, Queensland 4169
    https://www.anteotech.com/ at Unit 4, 26 Brandl Street Brisbane Technology Park Eight Mile Plains Queensland 4113

    We all remember the political point scoring statement by Annastacia Palaszczuk that Queensland Hospitals are for Queenslanders.

    Well, it appears that Queensland Rapid Antigen Test manufacturers are good enough for million dollar grants and press releases but not good enough for the Queensland Government to secure supply.

    • The Magpie says:

      Hey, hey, hey, don’t you start letting them off the hook like that … IT NOT RTA, IS THE FAR MORE SUITABLE RAT.

      Ask a politician what a RAT is, and he’ll tell it’s a colleague who won’t take a bribe.

  25. Mike Douglas says:

    Train wreck media with Queensland Health Minister Yvette Dath and CHO on the 7 hr waitlist for testing stations was because they assumed 17 private testing clinics would be open and they didnt . CHO said “stay home and assume you have the virus ” then a few hours later the State Government pleaded with private testers to return to work . 23 % of State run testing was returning positive . The States CHO doesnt seem to have factored supply chain issues and small business needing staff as if the 70% + stay at home when they are negative business / supply will stall .

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      The new CMO doesn’t seem to have factored in much beyond his pay cheque so far. The old one was useless, this one is useless and angry so I’m not sure it has been a trade up.

  26. Achilles says:

    Looks like His Arrogance Novak Djokovic has been in bed with the right people and has been granted a special exemption to come to Oz.

    If there is any justice the bastard will get infected and be quarantined for the duration of the tournament.

  27. The Magpie says:

    French top dog Emmanuel Macron is no poodle. He is in danger of being boycotted as a politician by his global colleagues for his continuing run of telling the truth … in simple terms.

    In the wake of his award winning ‘I don’t theek, I know (Scott Morrison is a liar),” he has come and said in plain language EXACTLY what no Australian politician at any level has had the guts to say.m (And don’t raise an eyebrow, this is a real report from the Guardian, not a spoof.)

    • Foiré says:

      but its not coercion.

      • The Magpie says:

        Better than the attempted coercion of a minority group of selfish fuckwits trying to force the majority of society to put itself at risk for some ersatz sort of ‘freedom’. Have a lie down.

        • Foiré says:

          I’m vaccinated and don’t give a fuck about the unvaccinated

          • Russell says:

            I would have used slightly different words but I agree whole-heartedly with Foiré. The shame is those of us who are fully vaccinated are being made to suffer unnecessarily because of the unvaccinated twits – and it’s purely political.

          • The Magpie says:

            In addition to the bellow, think the same score can be said of the social media educated elite aka selfish fuckwits.

          • Old Tradesman says:

            One thing I can tell tell the Pie is about Whooping cough, it is not decimated, please go and get a booster shot.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Water into wine: Science nil, prayer 1, or so it goes. I have been praying over the kitchen tap for years with bugger all result, damn it!

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie knows a few Sydney restaurateurs who have managed to reverse the process.

          • Grumpy says:

            You could have added malaria to that list, but people got a little weird about DDT.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Morrison is all over the place, what a pissweek failure he is, National cabinet is a joke, the problem is the other socialist turd would be even worse, imagine if Albonese was PM, what a debacle that would be, the place is truly fucked.

      • Achilles says:

        Just saw him ending a Press conference, telling another porky. When asked about the decision to allow entry to Djokovic he said that’s up to Victoria. He’s inherently incapable of taking responsibility, so just automatically lies to deflect scrutiny.

        To the best of my knowledge immigration is solely a Federal duty.

        • The Magpie says:


          • Old Tradesman says:

            So why were Tom Wanks and all the other movie stars allowed to come to Queensland, and people with dying relatives excluded, was it because Queensland Hospitals are only for Queenslanders? The constitution gives the States great powers unfortunately. Talk about saving private Ryan, it was saving Tsarina Anna.

        • Kenny Kennett says:

          Nope. South Australia now let overseas travellers in as long as they are double vaccinated. No quarantine. Queensland has 14 days irrespective of whether they are vaccinated or not. NSW you have a test on arrival and wait until you get a negative test then you are free to go. Just that alone indicates it’s up to the States not the Feds.

          • The Magpie says:

            But hang on, you may be correct in saying it is up to the individual states – governed by the latest COVID rules – but the granting of visas and the validity of passports still remains the first step in coming here, and those and other eligibility requirements (crim records, terror related security, promoting pineapple on pizza) are ALWAYS Commonwealth matters. Arrivals only become subject to state matters once they are passed customs … another entirely Federal matter.

            Kenny, try your argument of state authority on asylum seekers and refugees.

        • Kenny Kennett says:

          Magpie, we are talking about a specific subject with this thread, which is a tennis player getting preferential treatment by the VICTORIAN GOVERNMENT not the Federal Government. Andrews is a pathetic liar who has been found out with his constant backflips. This is an Andrews thing not a Morrison thing.

          • The Magpie says:

            All that is as it may be, but the clear point The ‘Pie makes is against the assertion that the states control who enters this country. They don’t, but under the current situation, they do control who enters their state. As said, once travellers are through Federal customs and all the required documentation THEN the state’s have a say. The ‘Pie was and is not entering to the argument about a tennis player and the Victorian premier – although the old bird agrees totally with The Shovel’s point of view published above. And given the situation with the pandemic, why isn’t this a Commonwealth matter, with uniform rules about who can get on a plane to come here?

          • The Magpie says:

            YAY!! Premier Dan is eagerly awaiting your apology, Kenny.

          • The Magpie says:

            The Twitterverse has lit up with the news. And the best of the day goes to …

          • The Magpie says:

            …and The Shovel is having a field day.

          • The Magpie says:

            Since when is enforcing a country’s laws suddenly ‘harassment’? Wonder how you’d go fronting up the Serbian border (wherever that is this week) and demanding entry without proper documentation. And a Serbian politician vowing to fight for truth and justice is a hoot … history tells us it’s a deadly hoot, but laughable anyway.
            Serbian President Aleksandar Vučić said on Instagram: “I told our Novak that the whole of Serbia is with him and that our bodies are doing everything to see that the harassment of the world’s best tennis player is brought to an end immediately,”
            “In line with all norms of international law, Serbia will fight for Novak, truth and justice. Novak is strong, as we all know.”

            But here’s the sad part. Vucic gets top marks for leadership in an area when Scott Morrison gets none – he comes out in defence and assistance for his countrymen in trouble overseas. Maybe Julian Assange should become a Serbian.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            Okay Magpie, yes ultimately the Feds have the final say on who can come into the country. However that process doesn’t get the rubber stamp until the applicant arrives at our doorstep. Such is the case with Goback Nockabitch. He and his minders were obviously under the misconception that once they have offshore approval, they could walk in to Australia. In defence of Scomo, he was in no position to make a statement prior to the final process at the border so he mistakenly handballed it to the Vic Premier as apparently his mob had given provisional approval. Of course, like a true Labor front man, he had nothing in writing but it was obviously someone else’s fault.
            Minister Hunt said this morning:
            “Under current Australian rules, unvaccinated
            people without a legitimate exemption face being turned back at the airport or sent into 14 days of mandatory quarantine.
            “The Australian Border Force said Djokovic failed to provide border officials with ‘appropriate
            evidence’ for his medical exemption upon his
            arrival in Australia from Dubai.
            One possibility is that Djokovic was armed with a
            vaccination exemption to compete in Melbourne
            but with a visa that did not allow for medical
            “There was an exemption that had been provided
            through the Victorian government process, clearly that did not pass the standards of proof that were required by the Australian Border Force.
            “Yes it’s tough, but it’s fair and it’s equitable and
            it’s one rule for all under this Australian
            Hit the road Jok!!

    • Frogster says:

      Macron is a narcissistic fucktard. He has forgotten all the protests in the past year or so and also forgotten that the sheeple have removed the heads of dictators in the past. He is just another puppet that the elite control. And he has a wanky combover too. Tosser.

  28. The Magpie says:

    A joke from the boys at The Shovel today … but will it be a joke tomorrow? With this venal government, who would bet against bit?

  29. Dave of Kelso says:

    Oh look, Canberra is just like Townsville, no jail for breach of bail, even when having tried to burn down Old Parliament House. What is the bet this prick gets off because of a difficult childhood caused by his mother looking at him sideways. FFS!
    On the plus side, had our genius been a student of history, he might have taken the 5th of November option, on Parliament House.

  30. NQ Gal says:

    When I was getting my second dose of AZ back in August, my GP said that 100% of the population would get the virus in some shape or form, it was just a matter of lowering the mortality rate. I think he is going to be correct within 12 months if the current rate of transmission continues.

  31. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Well we see a new record. 12 months for a tender for what is a pretty simple piece of pipeline from the dam to Douglas.

    I will say that the TCC technical team working on it had their skates on and were ready efficiently and quickly. Admin and management, well perhaps we say they take a more leisurely approach to the world.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Engineer, especially the part-time TCC CEO. He only spends a handful of hours per week on Council business so there is always going to be a slow response from our very own ‘leisure Larry’.

  32. Dave of Kelso says:

    Against medical advice the poli-bloody-ticians opened up Queensland to get the tourism industry and others back in business. Doesn’t look like it to me.

    Well, most people I know were most uncomfortable with this political decision as am I. Seems we, and the medical experts were correct and Puddleduck & Co have made the greatest fuckup in Queensland’s history playing with people’s health. FFS! I cannot express how pissed-off I am at this situation and the risk Puddleduck has put me in and all Queenslanders.



    • The Magpie says:

      Here’s the real dilemma for Palaszczuk, and all the other ‘decision makers’ at all levels. They tell us -quite correctly – to ntrust the science …BUT THEY NEVER TELL US WHAT THE SCIENCE UPON WHICH THEY BASE THEIR DECISIONS. Wasn’t there talk of a new law about governments having to reveal and release the scientific information in real time which led to their decisions?

      No wonder it a fruitcake’s picnic on social media.

    • Not dr google says:

      Please take the time to watch this everyone but to help save time watch around the 10 minutes mark. I too agree with magpie about long links but this doctor dosnt mix bullshit political spin. I believe people like this dr need to be heard more to stop the panic. After you watch this Dave please tell me when would we have opened up and how? The numbers don’t lie politically parties do! I don’t like the labor at all but opening up now is the best way forward. I’m not as scared as I was in the past because I decided to not listen to our politicians but rather various doctors who have all said that once the virus gets to a common cold point it’s game over for it. Again, watch and listen at around 10 minutes it’s worth it.


      • The Magpie says:

        Well, first of all, this bloke, Dr John Campbell, is good, and we’ve featured him before. His no-spin, factual and calm approach … with nary a hint of politics, not a single reference – is what we should’ve been getting all along.

        The basic take out from it is in that Omicron, if not actually a good thing in itself, is an encouraging development and will eventually result in community immunity. Yes, it is long, but worth watching to get a welcome sense of balance. The hospitalisation figures for Omicron do not see anyone in ICU … anyone in Australia, according to this report, is there because of Delta, which is in fact dying out.

        But look folks, comment by all means, but just at this stage, can we leave the politics out of it, we’ll do that in another thread no doubt. Be positive or negative, but talk to the science, not the politicians, they are now rapidly becoming a different issue as the virus facts start to come into sharper focus.

        • Open minded says:

          Just watched the link, that is a very courteous way of delivering an opinion on facts. I also looked him up and seen there are lots of videos he’s posted with interviews which is lacking in Australia and it seems the media only have to ask someone who might have studied somewhere in the past to be an “expert”. How come data like this isn’t being used in media here? My opinion is that a lot of these experts have had there time in the sun but don’t want to let there 15 minutes dry up. With what the doctor has said the numbers just aren’t causing the problem that we’ve been lead to believe is going to happen. The guesswork won’t hold up much longer as the public are now realising that governments of every colour are not really keeping us safe rather keeping governments employed.

  33. Dave of Kelso says:

    Hmmm.., the same exemption letter, hey? Someone in Tennis Australia, (or should that be Tennis Aus-Dollars-For-Us) have been very naughty boys and girls.


  34. Grumpy says:

    Interesting. If you quit, or are dismissed from, your job because you refused comply with the vaccination mandate, you are immediately entitled to the dole. The usual waiting periods are waived. What’s the bet that the current shortage of workers in the service industries is due – at least in some part – by lazy bastards who prefer lazing around on the dole rather than strike a blow.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Qld Health employees don’t have to worry about any of that, the unvaccinated were stood down on full pay, fucking parasites.

      • Achilles says:

        The fault lays with the Government Bureaucrat who decided this was OK.

        • The Magpie says:

          Agree … if you are stood but are told its on full pay, what are your choices? And The ‘Pie will always hesitate to call anyone in Qld Health – well, certainly those on the front line – ‘parasites’. Unfair, Cankers.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Disagree, parasites describes them perfectly, happy to sit by and do nothing, still sucking on the public tit, whilst other work colleagues are swamped with long shifts and fuck all time off. Talking to a senior nurse last night, she has been called in off her holidays due to a lack of staff, a parasite is complimentary compared to what she called those deliberately milking the system and whilst it’s the state govt that allow them to do it, you would have to be a fairly pathetic individual to actually do it.

  35. Mike Douglas says:

    Aaron Harper ( the gift that keeps on giving ) wants people to ” stop sweating the small stuff ” emailing and texting the editor of the Townsville bulletin because his Government won the election . Aaron keeps digging a bigger hole as instead of updating his electorate when RAT units will be available to avoid long testing lines his fb posts have turned into his personal life including his lawn and how hot it is on his evening run . This blokes moral compass went off course years ago .

  36. Jatzcrackers says:

    I reckon Scomo’ would have sent a text to Djokovic this morning saying ‘Don’t bullshit a bullshitter’ !!!

    • Old Tradesman says:

      No it was probably Novax, as one of the Serbian protestors had on her placard.

      • Tenacious D says:

        I reckon No Vax Doggy Bitch has a fair case.. I dislike him, but he was granted a visa by the Feds, Period.

        SCOMO lied himself into a knot with this one

        I bet he plays, i am shit at betting….

        • The Magpie says:

          What the fuck is wrong with you people? This is NOT about tennis, FFS, and this is NOT about whether we are right or wrong. This is about our sovereignty and, right or wrong, making the decisions WE believe are in the interests of our country. Not Serbia’s. And certainly not about the beliefs and disgraceful machinations of Tennis Australia, the executives of who are pygmies standing the shoulders of giants.

  37. Achilles says:

    Stupid is as stupid does. Sydney Test bowler uses a bail to remove sticky mud from his shoe. Places bail back of stump sticky side down.

    Next bowler hits the stumps and bail stays put.
    You couldn’t make this stuff up

  38. Nanook of the north says:

    Seems like juvenile crime is not limited to Townsville, but a common problem across northern Australia


    • The Magpie says:

      A reminder to those including links from paywalled publications. They won’t open for many readers, so handy if a one line outline is included. Thanks.

    • Jason 666 says:

      Would it be ok NotN to use the same logic and say Townsville is should be relaxed about COVID because it’s a common problem across northern Australia? I don’t think so, crime statistics in Townsville are an absolute failure by Scott Stewart, Aaron Harper and Les Walker for not keeping the pressure on the government to fix the problem

      • The Magpie says:

        Where was there any suggestion … or has been … that Townsville – or anywhere – should be ‘relaxed’ about crime? Strange linkage, Jason.

  39. NQ Gal says:

    Can any Bullsheet subscribers confirm that the online version today gave the street address of every person with covid in Townsville?

    • The Magpie says:

      The Townsville Bulletin most certainly DID NOT include any such information … in fact, that information would not be available to them even if they were stupid enough to want it. While there was nothing of the sort in the paper (a wise move because it would be out of date almost immediately, and we all know The Astonisher would never want to be out of date about anything), they did publish an interactive map of Covid numbers in individual Townsville suburbs … nifty and show-offy, but not sure why because they then just printed the information nin this list.
      List of suburbs:

      Kirwan – 35

      Hermit Park – 9


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      North Ward – 39

      Belgian Gardens/ Pallarenda – 8

      South Townsville and Railway Estate – 13

      Oonoonba – 16

      Hyde Park and Pimlico – 12

      Garbutt and West End – 10

      Gulliver and Currajong – 15

      Mundingburra – 6

      Annandale – 26

      Aitkenvale – 4

      Heatley – 6

      Cranbrook – 7

      Douglas – 10

      Mount Louisa – 18

      Bohle Plains – 20

      Kelso – 24

      Condon/Rasmussen – 22

      Wulguru – 22

      Deeragun – 3

      Northern Beaches – 9

      Magnetic Island – 6

      Palm Island – 6

      Hinchinbrook – 38

      Ayr – 4

      Charters Towers – 5

      • Nickster says:

        They could also produce the same type of map for crime in Townsville but I’m sure the counters couldn’t go high enough.

        • The Magpie says:

          Well, Then ‘Pie gets the jokey comment, but think you’ll find they have on a few occasions over the years done exactly that. But interesting point. The last good editor of the Bulletin Mick Carroll (yes all those years ago, about 14 now) directed that the level of the RRD be printed every day – and boy, did we have o fight to get the info sometimes. No reason for the police not to cooperate and do a daily map of crime, particularly car stealing and break-ins.

          And a bit of trivia .. it is the same Mick Carroll you can either thank or curse for inventing Text-The-Editor.

          • Westie says:

            Not sure what the problem is.

            Queensland police provide a detailed breakdown of crime statistics by offence type, by suburb, lots of data on the crimes (time of day, day of week etc) and all provided on a interactive map with lots of filters.

            Have a look at

            https://qps-ocm.s3-ap-southeast-2.amazonaws.com/index.html or Google QPS Online Crime Map.

            It is interesting that despite rumours to the contrary, North Ward has more reported crime (including double the breakins and more stolen vehicles) than Kelso in the last three months.

            Further interrogation of the data shows that Townsville is not the crime hotspot of Queensland, (try Logan for that) and also that crime has not been getting worse over the last five years.

          • The Magpie says:

            Very vague last sentence, Westie. Does ‘crime not increasing’ apply to the overall state, or just here? To suggest crime has not increased in Townsville is a hell of a stretch.

            And will be a great comfort to those locals who have been the victims of car jackings, muggings, break-ins and car theft that – thank God – they aren’t living in THE crime hot spot.

            Is this a fucking contest?

          • Westie says:

            All I am saying is that the real data is readily available, for the effort of a few clicks on an interactive map.

            Your emotional negative response to the truth behind a couple of widely believed fallacies illustrates the dificulties we are having as a society where there is a wide disconnect between reality and what people want to believe.

            Anyway, if you ever do want to check data in relation to issues regarding crime in Townsville, and in Queensland as a whole, that is where you will find it.

          • The Magpie says:

            No Westie, you were saying a lot more than that. Look, The Magpie is a busy bird on Saturday’s, so since you know where things are, can you do two things: name the two apparently widely believed fallacies, it’s not clear what your on about, and provide links that you mention, you seem to have them at your fingertips, so share. And just what the hell is an emotional negative response? Sounds like a case of ‘lies, damned lies and statistics’.

          • Westie says:

            Not a problem.

            The two fallacies are that (a) Crime in Townsville is worse than other comparable cities, and (b) Crime in Townsville is worse now than in the past.

            The data on Crime reports is presented in

            On the left you can find the filters. Under location you could select Townsville Local Government Area, Townsville Police District, or any suburb eg North Ward or Kelso. You can also select other cities eg Cairns Local Government Area or Logan Local Government area.

            Under date range, you can select yesterday, last week, or last five years, or some other period.

            Under Type of Offence, you could select Unlawful Entry, or Unlawful Use of a Motor Vehicle, or any other offence type you can think of.

            There are other filters like time of day and day of week which aren’t so interesting, so leave them unchecked.

            You will then see a map of the location you have specified with the number of offenses of each type. There is also a graph of the numbr of offences month by month for the last five years (if that is what you have specified).

            To answer your question, an emotional response is something like “crime has not increased in Townsville is a hell of a stretch” or “Is this a fucking contest”, as opposed to an evidence based response.

            I don’t think the data provided by QPS are either Lies, Damn Lies, or statistics- rather thay are raw data extracted from the crime reports that the user can analyse as they see fit.

          • The Magpie says:

            First, thanks, that’s comprehensive.
            Secondly, just what is your point? Just a pompous sneer at victims of out of control juvenile crime? Are you just arguing the semantics of we overly emotional people who don’t like being burgled nor have cars stolen, and you are saying … what? It’s OK? We should count ourselves lucky we’re not in Logan? The government is doing everything it can to curb what little crime we have?

            Is that you, Aaron?

          • Westie says:

            I was not making a point, Magpie.

            I was trying to be helpful, in response to your comment “No reason for the police not to cooperate and do a daily map of crime, particularly car stealing and break-ins”.

            I was letting you know that the police do in fact produce such a map, and where to find it.

            Anyway, happy to drop it.

          • The Magpie says:

            Your information was indeed helpful, your tone in interpreting it was what caused the apparent total emotional breakdown of The Magpie. Your insistence that Logan has worse stats is totally irrelevant to Townsville parlous state, but better not say too much more, poor old Echochamber will be wringing his hanky on your behalf because of my bullying.

            Anyway, you can all bugger off, it’s Saturday night and The ‘Pie is trying to write a blog FFS.

        • Grumpy says:

          Oh, Westie – you are a naive little petal, aren’t you? Those “statistics” are as dodgy as a service station chico roll. Above a certain rank, police officers become political animals and have to fall in line with their masters’ ideology and distort the numbers to deflect the Bolshies’ views and enhance their own career prospects. Ask any police officer below the rank of sergeant and they will tell you that their crime reports never reflect what the public is actually told. Do any of the reports on this page supposedly include offences include the ubiquitous “dealt with under the Youth Justice Act”? If so, then they are understated by at least 4 in my suburb alone.

          • Addled says:

            Is that you, Cantankerous?

          • Echochamber says:

            Geez Westie, bet you’re glad you stuck your head above the parapet on this one and engaged in some of the citizen journalism this blog claims to encourage. Bold move by you Pie to double down on the initial emotional response with another one. And Grumpy, while I hope you never have to face a Magistrate or Judge please let us know if/when you do as I’d love to be there when you call a Constable as a witness to testify that all Sergeants and above are liers and that your charges should be thrown out on those grounds. Or at least not reported in the “statistics”. And as for those statistics they’ve now been gifted to you Pie to use to make whatever point YOU want to make if you’re willing to do the work. Now while I’m glad I don’t live in Logan I certainly didn’t read Westie’s comments so say that Townsville’s victims of crime should all be grateful not to live there. Although they should be as it would be salt in the wound. So assuming Sergeants were fudging the numbers to the same extent five years ago as Grumpy alleges they are today, isn’t the more interesting question was/wasn’t the Bulletin reporting/not reporting it with the same vigour back then as they do now?

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