Troy Thompson Tries His Hand At Copper Dobber … And Even Fails At That. They Tell Him The Approved Police Version Of Fuck Off .

The petition still needs a sitting MP as sponsor if it is ever to be debated in parliament. The Clerk can sponsor the tabling of the petition, but it needs an MP to take up the petition and sponsor it for debate.  Not one single MP stands out as even remotely likely to do so, especially since the petition is calling for an illegal set of actions to be made by the LG Minister. The whole thing is a waste of effort as this will be thrown out the moment it hits the ministers desk.  If it gets even that far.

During the week , a Magpie mate texted that he’d just seen TwoNames at his doctors, ‘… and he looked like death. I think things must be getting to him.’

 

Well, thoughts and prayers then, but maybe he’s just having last minute jitters before a big event.

Well,   maybe he’s patched things up with his squeeze, Michelle. But we’re yet to be convinced.

Fine Words Butter No Parsnips : An Old Yorkshire Saying Fits Paluma’s On-Going Dilemma 

The village in the rainforest mist remains largely cut-off from the world, at least via  the Mt Spec Road, the main route down to the coast.  The residents, suffering economic loss from being unable to access their jobs down on the coast, as well the mainstay of steady tourism,  have been dismayed and angered by the new travel permit system issued by the Department of Main Roads; they are the dawdlers in charge of repairing the road damaged in the January rains.  The department, more interested in its own arse covering that the amenity of taxpayers, has finally started issuing the promised permits selected residents on a quota system. Most reasonably believe more sensible access should be available to them, are now feeling hardly better off from this dead hand of bureaucracy.

As one told The Magpie: “Much unhappiness ! Permits limited to one person / one car per household . There are a number of households where there are two breadwinners driving different vehicles at different times off the day… some even wish to travel at night! There are calls for an independent inquiry into the Dolts at TMR!”

Unctuous words of shining insincerity and covert intent are just making people angrier. Surely a priority should be a more sensible easing of their predicament.

This is a fine example of distant government shiny bums and nervous engineering poohbahs taking extreme views about the risk versus reward scenario. According to several sources, there doesn’t appear to be any sense of urgency to assist their predicament,  while the road is regularly subject to dozens of DMR vehicle use along its length.

This paltry permit system is cack-handed insult to a community suffering severe economic damage.

Speaking Of Unctuous Words Of Shining Insincerity

Very soon,  not just the folks up at Paluma, but everyone across Queensland will have a brand new government spin centre where they can be fobbed off more stylishly. The DMR wafflers will be included in this ‘big is better’ snow job on the population.

They really can’t help themselves, can they?  And neither can journalists by and large, who have forgotten it is their job to parse and put into simple everyday language the message the of those suffering from direct-speech constipation.  Mind you, the poor buggers would be hard pressed to make sense of this utter tripe about such an amalgamation being of the slightest benefit to the average punter who are used to being stonewalled by the infuriatingly flat delivery reading of a prepared script. You might as well argue prices with a self-checkout machine at Coles.

This release may as well be written in Swahili, for all the sense it makes.  Seriously WTF does ‘a more seamless experience’  tell us? And ‘better aligning and improving customer experience’? And are we really taken for such mugs  to believe this lazy pollie speak when Minister Minnikin says he is  “looking  forward to working with all our customer service teams and hearing from them on how we continue to deliver better services and support for Queenslanders.”   Minnikin sounds the sort who would avoid a Christmas pissup with the plebs, let alone discuss anything with them. This meaningless flapdoodle is pumped out every day by every government and council in Australia, and no one seems to question it anymore.  Not even a simple and polite ‘What does that mean in plain language?’ No, no one understands it, and no one cares, too tired of beating one’s head against a wall of buzz word obfuscation.  Then everyone is surprised when  the hidden agenda is revealed.

The Magpie has a couple of theories, one rock solid,  the other plausible. The first is – and this is undeniable – that all this is guided by the psychospin exemplified by those signs you see in public places like banks and anything to do with government that say ‘Queue her for your convenience’ . Which in fact means ‘Queue here for OUR convenience’. Control of everything is the ultimate government requirement.  Same principle here. This new hub will deliver exactly the same messages it would’ve anyway,  even if they hadn’t been lumped together in some huge warehouse of an office.  How can simply rehousing disparate department’s  phone centres, all with different issues to resolve, be improved even slightly by sharing the same lunchroom. Just because of the proximity and density of the doofus brigade on the other end of the phone or email,  the shift will not change the ‘customer experience’ one iota.

What The ‘Pie reckons this is all about is a yet-to-be-revealed agenda of cutting PS jobs … you can bet when that happens, the phrase that will be front and centre will be ‘economies of scale’ which will somehow magically  ‘further enhance you experience with our departments’.

They can all get knotted. But have a nice day.

May 27, 2025 at 9:32 am  (Edit)

This is good news, at least in one way, not that he trusts a single word any politician says,  although in typical Courier fashion, the paper offers a scareum and misleading headline instead of playing up the obviously positive aspect – that is, the reason this came about..

But the move a bit of an eye-popper in terms of traditional political poses, coming as it does from a rightwing political party normally up to its ankles in the corporate colon.

Instead of weak-kneed government kissing the heavily subsidised Big Business ring, and riding roughshod over local views, the LNP is making it clear regional Queenslanders must be part of a genuine consultation process when massive and inevitably visually scarring projects like this are proposed for their area.

Planning Minister Jarrod Bleijie underlined the community’s right to have a say by ‘unpausing’ three other stalled renewable projects that had followed the process correctly and so has given them the green light.

“I have ‘unpaused’ those three now because the community journey consultants are satisfied that the developers and the companies did the right thing by the community and took the community on a journey,” he said.
“All we’ve done, or we’re asking them through our new legislation, is you’ve got to take the community on a journey.”

But a Magpie memo to Bleijie’s spin doctor, who has obviously pounced on a fashionable modern buzz phrase to promote this change in legislation.

Buddy, the term ’take (local community representatives) on a journey’ is way to close to the more traditional phrase common when it comes to politics of ‘taking them for a ride’.

MAGPIE EXCLUSIVE: Sussan Ley Has Second Thoughts.

The new Liberal leader has privately expressed concern that the former deputy PM was so clearly pissed off with being sent to the back benches, he may become a disruptive element..

So in a move to avoid further internal dissent, The ‘Pie has unreliably heard hat Sussan Ley has had second thoughts, and has offered the exiled Barnaby the newly created Ministry For Footpaths.

Mr Joyce is yet to accept, telling reporters  ” As I always do with big decisions, I’ll sleep on it.”

Why Don’t We Put The Bruce Underground?

This thought struck the Magpie while he was enjoying John Ando Andersen’s welcome weekly change-of-pace in the Astonisher.  This small digression from his main theme (don’t ask) was this.

So why not get those Yanks on board, shoot a couple of local union bosses and half a dozen politicians, and do a four lane tunnel from Cairns down to Brisbane, with suitable off ramps along the way, so those current overfly towns will not be under passed.  Have advisors from the builders of the Chunnel under the English Channel and also from the tunnel under Sydney Harbour, and voila, a flood proof economic bonanza

You lament the loss of the sea views? The ‘Pie has done the Townsville-Brisbane run a few times and by memory, the only fleeting glimpse you get of the Coral Sea is a few kilometres, if that, at St Lawrence, south of Bowen.

The Spooky Plastic Man Departs With All The Good Wishes Of The Orangoutang’s Bum

Amid all the forced pleasantries as Elon Musk departs his government job, The ‘Pie was reminded of the businessman’s joke about the bloke called into the bosses office.

“I have good news and bad news’.

What’s the bad news?’

‘You’re fired’.

What’s the good news?

‘I’ll never have to see your fucking face again.’

But The’Pie doesn’t understand the beat-ups about some big fall out leading to the departure. From day one, it was made clear that it was – thnk god –  a short-term contract. He boasted at the start he would slash government spending by $2 trillion, and now leaves a tad shy of the mark … $1.86trillion to be exact, having knocked off a paltry $14billion through sacking thousands of ordinary, everyday non-billionaires. So there is much gleeful schadenfreude that this distasteful turkey has managed to trash his Tesla car brand and  is now left plenty of time to set up a compound in Texas to house his many bastard children and their mothers. He has spent $35m on three properties, including a 14,400-square-foot Tuscan-style mansion, within walking distance of each other. The reported purpose of the compound is to allow his children and their mothers to live close together and to facilitate his interaction with them.  He himself lives about 10 minutes, but will need a golf buggy to travel between houses, what with all that exhausting facilitating.

That departure head this week’s round-up of matters from across the Pacific. including Donald’s  tariff stumble.

And Finally  

The ‘Pie leaves you with exchange in comments.