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The Magpie

Sunday, December 12th, 2021   |   114 comments

The Pushback Is On … The Silence Of The Bulletin Lambs Has Changed To A Loud Bah-Bahing. The Magpie cocks an eye … if he were a dog, he’d cock a leg.

 

 

 

 

And bleating. In the past few days, we’ve been inundated with media releases, faithfully reproduced in the Bulletin, all orchestrated by Spinning Jenny, telling us what a bright golden future awaits us under her wise stewardship.  The Magpie casts a jaundiced eye.

Watch out, Molachino, looks like Clr Potty Mouth could be making her run.

Free CBD parking in December? Benefit to city businesses? Yeah sure, and the cheques in the mail … in this case, to the TCC infringement folks.  More smoke and mirrors .

Irony corner: Why we owe a debt of thanks for the bad judgement of Brittany Higgins alleged rapist.

And Joe Biden’s steadies the ship as America surges  back to prosperity, but you’d hardly know it from a media hard-wired to biased bad news.

And Bentley calls mouth-fault at the tennis.

Put the kettle on, it’s ad time: Know it’s big spend time around this end of the year, but the bills from big biz in the cyber world follow the US Postal Service credo (pre-Trump anyway) that ‘neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds’. And said demands keep landing the Nest, regularly, so if there’s a buck or tw oto  spare, it would make a pleasant Chrissie surprise if you could help ease the pain. The Donate button is at the bottom of the blog.

 

The Fallacy Of Transferred Authority

This theory puts forward the idea that because someone is good, or even excels in their chosen field, say sports, deep sea diving, cooking,   or acting, then their opinions on unrelated fields in which they have no greater expertise or knowledge carry greater weight that the average ignoramus.

This is one of the Magpie’s life-long favourite fallacies, learnt in his earliest days as a cadet reporter. The ‘Pie’s first and best editor, Trevor Williams, pointed this out when Ava Gardner , arriving in Australia to film On The Beach, was confronted at the foot of the aircraft steps by the media throng, where one reporter yelled out ‘What do you think of Australia, Miss Gardner?’ She wisely replied ‘I don’t know, you’re standing in front of it.’ thus probably avoiding having to admit she had no opinion about Australia, because she knew nothing about it.

But in this era of fruitcake Pete Evans,  the sadly discombobulated Gwyneth Paltrow (“What? Shove THAT into WHERE?” “It’s made out of WHAT?)  and of course, Donald The Mobster President Trump, many high profile ignorant people do not think modesty becomes them. Some of it is all good for a harmless hoot  – Dolly Parton was whip smart when she used humour: “I’m not offended by all of the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blonde.”

But then along came COVID, and every dingbat in the world was suddenly an armchair expert, espousing long-held convictions as they slowly disintegrated mentally. Misinformation is damaging enough on social media, but when celebrities start using their vast media platforms to spread deadly porkies, it is no longer a joking matter. Or, as Bentley points out, no Djokovic-ing matter.

Djoker flat

You Can Almost Smell The Desperation

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The push-back is on in earnest, Jenny and her troops are on the offensive … and boy, is it offensive. And insulting. And mostly lying, either outright or by omission. And is simply unbelievable that the Bulletin can totally ignore proper questioning of the mayor in the face of the brilliant reporting of his big brother The Australian regarding Magnis Energy.

But aided and abetted by the stenographers at the Daily Astonisher, we got this earlier in the week.

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The four companies reported to have ‘signed up’ for space at Lansdown have in fact expressed a mild interest in the possibility of a spot at the project site, even the TCC release using the word ‘tentative’, none have signed any binding agreement or put down any deposits. Rather than ‘striding ahead’ as the TCC release gurgles, these are hardly even baby steps towards the mayor’s grandiose claims, claims that made the following clearly false assertions: “ the four companies signing on as proponents was another show of strength for the precinct following Edify Energy, Queensland Pacific Minerals and Imperium3 Townsville signing on previously.”

Umm, Imperium3? Is that the New York company of which Magnis Energy owns 63%? The same Magnis whose CEO, the shifty Frank Poullas, is in more strife than the early explorers with regulators,  and has the ASX  breathing down his grimy neck. And that would be Queensland Pacific Minerals and Edify Energy who are both still looking for ‘investor support’.

It’s then that you can smell the desperation, when they resort to outright lying.

“The confidence in Lansdown is clearly on display. We are now entering into the most exciting phase, with long-term proponents preparing to move into construction and new proponents from across Australia putting their hand up to also establish themselves at the precinct.”

It is anything but, Madam Mayor.

Look, The Magpie is the first to admit if this were true, it would be wonderful news for Townsville, indeed he is eager for it to be so, but it’s this cynical and cruel selling of false hope based on tissue thin premises that is the most egregious sin of this twisting and self-interested mayor, and the equally culpable and totally cowed Townsville Bulletin. (Just like the Double Tree Hotel, how’s that going, dearie?)

Perhaps There Are Other Industries More Suited To Lansdown.

EUREKA!!

The Daily Mulletin

Mayor Mullet Announces New Smoke And Mirrors Factory For Lansdown

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Mayor Mullet inspects progress at the Eco Hub In The Scrub

Our Dear Mayor Kim In Jen has hailed a breakthrough with the signing of a cutting edge, iconic world class industry which has signed up for free land at the Lansdown’ Eco-Hub in the Scrub’.

‘The company, Top Spinners, is widely experienced in this field, bringing new technology to this thriving commercial and governmental sector,’ the mayor told an awe-struck Mulletin reporter.

‘I am assured it is eco-friendly, with all smoke being non-toxic and mainly hot air with a little fog thrown in, and the mirrors will only use the best possible light and cannot not cause any bad reflection on the user.’

She said the product would come in several different models, including The Trump, The Smirko, and The Anna.

‘But Top Spinners assure me there will be a strong local component, with plans for a Harpic version, and investigations are underway for a Brumme-Smith TEL version, but so far, the company can’t find anything to hide for that model.’

Mayor Mullet emphasised that the product was not only eco-friendly, but also was non-toxic.

‘Extensive secret trials have shown that the smoke used, when blown up the anus of ratepayers, does no bodily harm, although adjacent wallets have sustained some damage.’

A company spokesman said their researchers had been unable to develop a version that could be used on magpies. ‘This particular creature appears to be immune to the effects of bullshit, but we’ll keep trying’ he said.

THE DAILY MULLETIN

BREAKING NEWS:

Mayor Mullet announces new industry set to sign up for Lansdown land.
‘Manufacturing will begin immediately,’  the mayor simpered to a mesmerised Mulletin reporter, “and I urge all locals to support this world-class, breakthrough, iconic product which will put us the map as a serious scientific and environmental hub.’

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What Clr Potty Mouth Didn’t Tell Us About the ‘Free’ CBD Parking in December.

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Clr Margie Ryder

As predicted last week, there is more to the council’s gift of free CBD parking this month. Alerted that previous stunts like this had resulted in a tidy windfall ..,. or at the very least, ‘cost neutral’ outcome for the council, the Magpie contacted Clr Ann-Maree Greaney, his division rep, seeking some detail.

Clr Greaney has always been prompt, courteous and straightforward in the few dealings The ‘Pie has had with her, and this was the case in this matter too.

Dear Malcolm,

Further to your email, I can confirm that a vehicle parked in a 2P time limited bay cannot move up one bay, or park in any other bay on the same length of road.  

Technically, the vehicle must leave the area. The ‘area’ defined in legislation is the street which the vehicle is parked on to where the intersection occurs – for example a length of road is considered as Walker Street, between Stanley and Stokes Streets.  

I hope this information is of some assistance for you.

Thanks and Merry Christmas to you as well.

Regards,

Ann-Maree

So there you have it … visit the CBD for two hours only, then either fuck around looking for another suitable spot a couple of streets away,  or go home, or go shopping at a free parking all day shopping centre in the ‘burbs. Or stay where you were originally and pay $31 for the pleasure.

We won’t go into the fact that there are bugger all spots available, since CBD workers snaffle them early, and some have arrangements with colleagues about swapping every two hours I(which was always the original problem).

Failed virtue signalling all round.

But While Potty Mouth Was Just being Dishonest On That Issue, This Is An Outright Lie

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This exchange in comments on Friday.

NQ Gal

December 10, 2021 at 9:10 am  (Edit)

TCC is again playing fast and loose with the definition of “local”. In announcing the awarding of tender contracts Potty Mouth Ryder said that 80% of the tenders had gone to Townsville based businesses or “businesses with a commitment to establish an office in Townsville”.
So what is the percentage that are actually Townsville businesses versus ones that will rent some cheap office space for the duration of the tender and then pack up and leave?

Reply

  • The Magpie

December 10, 2021 at 12:19 pm  (Edit)

You beat The ‘Pie to the punch, Gal, intended to make comment about that very thing. And the news release headline is simply egregious sophistry designed to deceive.

What utter rot!  The council DOES NOT – as a primary objective as implied here – invest in local businesses … they buy the services of skilled contractors, and they do so locally for electoral reasons, not the philanthropic motives they would have us believe.

First of all, this is another example of seeking praise for doing what they’re elected to do … and would be doing anyway but for the LGAQ’s rapacious rort of Local Buy. Be less galling if it was just put out there as stark facts and stats, but all this smarmy ‘Gosh, we’re good’ crapola tells us this council knows it is on the nose … the mayor for what she does and the councillors by and large for what they don’t do. And the establishment of a ‘local office’ employing locals raises an interesting question about policing that employment agreement.

The truth is that sure, there will be jobs that we don’t readily have the skills or equipment for, and the tender goes to the most suitable. Giving tenders to locals – where a ‘local’ weighting might end up making a winning tender not the cheapest one – is still the obvious and responsible way to go. Benefits the community in the long run.

And Mayor Mullet better keep and eye on Potty Mouth Ryder … or perhaps mnore importantly, Frothy Molachino should. This foul mouthed grasping woman who picks up her TCC $120k per year as well whatever she gets as CFO for hubby’s transport-related business, came to town from Julia Creek with the warning she has unbounded ambitions and a less than admirable manner of getting what she wants in business and public life … and the top council job is an obvious target.

And The Council Bureaucracy Red Tape Is Putting The Ratepayers at Risk Of Mammoth Damages Payouts

Exaggeration? Read on. This is quite alarming, ot just the potential outcome, but the tortuous and torturous processes that the simplest of matters are subject to … and Christ, look at the time delays by pen pushers.

Subject:         Tin Pot Council

From: David Thoumine
Some time ago, a letter was published in the Bulletin about a road subsidence Lindeman Avenue and Charles Street Cranbrook.
I had reported the subsidence in April and monthly up to July 21, In August 21 I received an e-mail advising me that after my last telephone report, the Council’s Construction, Maintenance and Operations Department had identified my concerns and requires further investigation by the Asset Engineer, Transport,  and this may take a minimum of two months to complete and I will advised of the outcome when it is finalised.
Travelling the road as I do daily one morning going to work as I approached the roundabout a motorbike rider riding a big machine negotiated the roundabout and on leaving, his front wheel entered the subsidence almost making him lose control.  He regained full control after crossing the centre line in the road; I was able to reduce so speed and ovoid a collision. The subsidence is still there.

Going back to August 21 this year and the two months to complete the investigation and advising me of the findings here we are in December, and I am still waiting for the findings.
What may be of interest to the council is a court case where a motorcyclist  was awarded $300,000 damages after an appeal was dismissed in the Supreme Court of Queensland, when she rode into a pothole not properly signed with warning signs on the approach. The depth of the pothole as reported was 30-40mm deep.
One of the key ‘takeaways’ in the document is :

If a local government road authority has actual knowledge of a particular risk (which would result in harm to road users if it materialised), it must take reasonable care when addressing that risk in order to discharge the duty of care it owes to road users. If it doesn’t, the protection offered to local government road authorities by s 37(1) of the CLA will not apply.

Now that it the danger has been clearly made public here, the TCC will have no excuse if someone is injured or is killed for this tardy and inexcusable response.

Not Punny! 

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From a 5 second Google search:

So, do turtles have fins?

No. turtles do not have fins like those of a fish or a dolphin. They have their way of moving around in the water. Unlike the fish or dolphins, turtles have flippers and webbed feet on other turtle species.

Whoever wrote this silly pun could be described as a stupid something that starts with F and ends with R … and it ain’t flipper.

The Plain-Speaking Translator

A new occasional Nest feature.

From the Office of the Independent assessor (OIA) to a parliamentary inquiry: “The review process has become a significant resource implication for the OIA.

Translation: It’s costing us too much.

Teaser headline from The New Daily

‘BACK TO HOGWARTS': HBO finally drops Harry Potter reunion trailer

Aha, we thought, millions of fans outraged that the reunion trailer has been dropped.  But no, it’s just the latest word perversion in the media … the story quickly makes it clear what they are trying to say in GenZ-inise.

Get ready, Potterheads – the Harry Potter 20th anniversary reunion is coming soon!

HBO Max has released a first look teaser at the highly-anticipated reunion, which will be released internationally on New Year’s Day.

Translation: So ‘dropped’ now means ‘released’, joining ‘sick’ meaning ‘excellent’ et al.

As if there wasn’t enough confusion in the world.

Who Has The Right To Your Name Or Image When You’re Dead?

That very question arose twice in the past week.

peter Cundall download

Vale Peter Cundall

Some folk were critical of certain media when the popular and much-loved TV gardener figure Peter Cundall died peacefully during the week.  He was 94.

Peter’s family had issued a statement about his passing and asked that photographs of him not be used when breaking the news. No explanation for the unusual request was given, and most outlets ignored it, which caused the criticism.

Well, sorry, The Magpie doesn’t agree with the criticism. In matters like this, it is not up to the family of a deceased to request censorship of any sort including a ban on images of a person, especially a much loved figure who was part of the lives of so many. And The ‘Pie cannot imagine why the family wanted such a stipulation. Peter was respected and admired and there would be no disrespect if his picture was published …. grieving or not, it would be up to the family to even request such a stipulation.

The media is free to pass on the information in the best standard and respectful way that is its remit.

This should also have applied to the recent passing of aboriginal actor David Gulpilil. Because of ‘cultural reason’ several publication confused everyone with the news of David’s death with headlines like these – including an image!!

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… and editorial advisory notes like this codswallop.

“Dalaithngu was better known by a different surname at the height of his stardom, but the ABC has been advised that for Indigenous cultural reasons that name can’t be used”.

Two things arise out of this knee-jerk wrong headedness by the woking dead. Newspapers particularly have a general rule – or did have – that the essence of a story is in the headline. The Magpie was among multitude who saw these headlines and asked ’who’? Nothing was gained by this sort of extreme virtue signalling.

But moreover, that is surely more insulting to the deceased, beloved of millions of Australians, not just the small indigenous group to which David belonged. Informing the general populace that someone who they knew by one name only – and using that name –  had passed away is in this instance more important, sensible and journalistically responsible than breaking a cultural law born of medieval, perhaps stone age superstition that would affect very few if any. (The Magpie’s utter contempt for the control motive of all religions extends to the often beautifully whimsical and often barbaric aspects of the ‘Dreamtime’.)

But then the overly woke papers – one even saying they wouldn’t mention the person’s other name, only that he was (FFS!) an icon and a globally acclaimed actor – then published photographs of David Gulpilil to get their confused message across. Last time The Magpie heard, images of dead members of the indigenous community were a strict no-no, requiring a trigger warning from most news outlets if they had to report it straight.

The demands of cultural sensitivity towards indigenous deceased are fair enough if that person was a strong figure in the indigenous community only, but if they entered into the wider world of Australian society through the arts, politics, sport,the judiciary or any field that put them into our collective consciousness,  then their passing should attract all the respect and love that their names and images invoke in ALL off us.

In Passing, A Question Perhaps Both Peter And David Could Have Answered…

IMG_6279 Cashew  IMG_8722

The ‘Pie had no idea what this was when a mate left it on his balcony table overnight.  When I found it, I was mystified, and even thought  it might be some sort of rude prank. But my mate turned up and let me know what it was.

A cashew nut!! Perhaps no surprise to some, and it had come from a cashew tree just south of Townsville. Interesting facts can be googled. I asked my mate if it could be planted, he said ‘Sure, but it’ll take seven years to bear fruit.’ I suggested then it could be transplanted on my grave by that time, perhaps with a plaque ‘There’s a nut underneath, too.’

A Good Benefit From A Bad Judgement

Why We May Grateful For A Bad Judgement Call By Brittany Higgins Alleged Rapist. And no, The ‘Pie is not talking about any alleged rape … that’s  a criminal act and can never be dismissed as a bad judgement call. If proven, the law will exact a due penalty.

No, the bad judgement call The ‘Pie is referring was the decision to continue the apres drinks activities, whatever the truth of those activities turn out to be, in Parliament House. Indeed in a ministers office.

Why? Well, think about this,. Had the accused taken Ms Higgins home to either his or her place, and the alleged crime took place there, the assault may never have been reported. Ms Higgins would not have been found naked or semi-naked and in a state of distress within the parliamentary precinct. But even if she had reported the matter, had it happened at either private residence, PM Scott Morrison, his ministers and his staff would all have no reason to be involved and no plausible reason to be culturally culpable. In a classic case of plausible deniability, there would no reason or rationality  to link it to any endemic sexually overt behaviour within Parliament House, or for the to be exposed as weak-kneed political parties that have all allowed a range of behaviour ranging from grubby and bad to inexcusable and illegal.

But for the single misjudgement of one drunken, randy grub, the whole of the Canberra body politic would never have been held accountable for the disgrace it has brought upon Australia. But now, it seems that our shameful Augean stables will be cleaned out, all the while knowing, like Hercules, the job will mean getting dirty and smelly.

Like Liars, Biased Folks have To Have Good Memories

Disagreeing with an opinion is one thing, but it doesn’t prove bias. So what does prove bias? This does.

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BTW the bias isn’t AP’s, it is that of TV outlet MSNBC.

All in all, the United States seems to be recovering steadily from the egregious excesses and criminality of the past five years, but Biden … and the country … aren’t without their challenges, as this week’s gallery shows.

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We’ve Lost Another One To Musical Memory.

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Michael Nesmith, Monkees singer-songwriter, has died peacefully at home from heart problems. He was 78.

While the group itself was an American  ‘manufactured’ entity trying to cash in on the brilliant success of the Beatles (they didn’t come close) Nesmith will be best remembered for many songs he wrote for others after the group broke up. Perhaps the best known one was Different Drum, taken to the world by Linda Ronstadt . But although a Ronstadt and Stone Poneys fan (they couldn’t spell in those days either) , The ‘Pie prefers this version by Nesmith himself, it casts him in his true light of the intelligent, understated and modest bloke that he he was.

Vale.

Finally …

Having turkey for Christmas? Then don’t waste the left-overs, it could be a valuable protection against our crime wave.

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…….

That’s it for now, keep the comments flying in, some are factual but all are fun, have a go. And the donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

114 Comments

  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Lansdown , no master plan until 2022 so how does anyone know any costs . Developers require 60 % signed leases but not the ratepayers bank of Jenny or Team Hill Councillors . $79 mil extra for Haughton stage 2 just pop it on T.C.C. afterpay , after they have all left that is . No access to the Mayor for developers due to Belcarra but isnt the Council a developer ? . Queensland Government has allocated $2.1 bil for a waste package so 12 metro Councils and 7 largest regional Councils ratepayers will save $88 . Is Townsville one of the seven regionals .

  2. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Plant your cashew nut at Lansdown…..it’s likely to be the only thing to go up and bear fruit within the next seven years out there.

  3. Molly9 says:

    Could your cashew fruit have come from the old DPI (now DAF) site opposite the Oasis at Oonoonba. A tree flourished there, and the fruit is interesting. I didn’t like the smell of it, so I didn’t taste it, and the nut is toxic until treated. A number of exotic tropical fruits were planted around the grounds by one of the Managers in the 80’s, including varieties of jackfruit, carambolas (starfruits) and star apples – taste similar to custard apples.

  4. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Be hard to find a community anywhere in Australia that is fed more shit and lies than Townsville, Mullet, Molachino, TEL, the Bulletin, just spew out the shit and lies day after day. The facts are dwelling approvals in Townsville are returning quickly to there pitiful average, after a lift due to Govt subsidies earlier in the year, just 48 approvals for November. In all the crap these people put out none of them ever articulate where all the thousands of people who are suppose to be moving to Townsville to work on these projects are going to live, because they aren’t coming, because there is no projects. No developers are fast tracking subdivisions of land or stalled unit developments that are still vacant blocks, they have all heard the lies before.

  5. The Magpie says:

    You gotta love the unintentional goofiness of the Townsville Bulletin.

    Their latest click-bait ‘List of …’ gives us the city’s ‘most inspirational women’. And by and large, most get well deserved recognition for the quiet and dedicated roles they play in the fabric of our society away from the headlines and spin.

    But if the paper intended to demonstrate respect for the achievements of the female sector, they tanked out right at the very beginning.

    This is wrong in so many ways, and highlights the slapdash mess sometimes caused by a lazy and sloppy News Ltd octopus.

    First up, Martha Stewart has nothing to do with the list, she’s not even an Australian let alone a local, and inspiring? Despite being a successful businesswoman, the American domestic and cooking goddess is also a convicted jailbird.

    From Wiki:
    Martha Stewart was not convicted for criminal insider trading charges, although she later had to pay $195,000 to settle a civil case with the Securities and Exchange Commission. In her criminal case, she was found guilty of conspiracy, obstruction of justice and lying to federal investigators in March 2004. The securities fraud charge (related to boosting the stock of her own company) was dismissed.
    • Conspiracy: Stewart was found to have conspired with her broker Peter Bacanovic to obstruct justice and make false statements in the ImClone insider trading investigation.
    • Obstruction of justice: Stewart was found to have tried to hamper the SEC investigation of her stock sale by providing misleading information and attempting to tamper with a phone message from Bacanovic.
    • Lying: Stewart was found to have lied to the Securities and Exchange Commission, the FBI, and federal prosecutors when she claimed she had prearranged with her broker to sell her ImClone stock when it fell below $60 per share. She was also found to have lied about not recalling being told that the family of ImClone founder Samuel Waksal was selling stock.
    The conviction resulted in a five-month prison sentence, followed by five months of house arrest and two years of probation.

    Inspiring, eh?
    So The Magpie initially thought ‘how highly inappropriate,’ but then had another look at the list and thought, OK, maybe fair enough.

    Because the list includes one of the city’s most persistent racists, a mendacious mayor who will surely be remembered as the worst and shiftiest in Townsville’s history (and bet she’s pissed off at coming in 3rd behind three well-deserved people the general public has never heard of until now) a race car driver (inspiring? Well, in this city, among our shiftless youth, sure), a former go-to drug dealer who in early days had most of the Cowboys players and staff as regular customers, a psychic/medium who is a ‘Tibetan and Usui Reiki Master (not Mistress? Tut tut ommm) and a radio presenter no one listens to. Oh, and also, the head of TEL.

    But the biggest question of all could be a national scoop … is the much-loved Magda Szubanski moonlighting as a Queensland walloper helping combat domestic violence here in the ‘ville.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Whilst I agree with your assessment of the mullet and a few others, Elise Feltham does a tough job brilliantly. Some on this list are just glorified ladies who lunch, however Elise and her team are making a real difference for victims of domestic violence.

      • The Magpie says:

        Couldn’t agree more … and The Magpie’s comment was purely an amusing observation (he hopes) and most certainly not a criticism.

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          The comment could go either way Pie………amusing attempt, as you suggest, or a misogynistic remark about a persons look!

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            PS Pie, I think it was the former IMO!

          • The Magpie says:

            Lay off the Sunday egg-nog and fetch the WD40 for the knees, there, Plucker, they’ve suffered a nasty jerk. And get the dictionary while your at it, and look up misogynistic … ‘strongly prejudiced against women’. The comment about Sergeant Feltham simply said in her photo she looked a bit like Magda. Are you saying either A) Sgt Feltham’s photo does not in any way resemble Ms Szubanski, or B) yes, it does, but it shouldn’t have been suggested. If A), get some glasses, or if B) how does saying a woman looks a bit like another woman – a woman much loved and respected in the arts world – suddenly become misogynistic? Is there something inherently wrong with Ms Szubanski’s personality or looks in your mind that has made you fall into the error of silly woke-ish judgement. Seriously tell The ‘Pie how he has erred, just love inviting folks like you to put your head in your own noose.

    • Grumpy says:

      Oh, yeah. Let’s talk about that sycophantic list – mainly of people who are just doing their bloody job and getting well paid in the process, FFS.

      But what type of low-life, gutter-dwelling, vile piece of scum would use the death of a motorcyclist – killed by you – for political gain? That is the most disgusting and sordid piece of political cynicism and unworthy of publication even in the worst type of tabloid.

      And you can’t tell me that the spiel accompanying the oh-so-flattering photograph was not approved by the person involved. Dolan – if you had anything to do with this, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself.

      Wonder what the Patriots think of this?

      Whatever, it takes, Comrade, whatever it takes.

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      Any links to the Top 50 females list. Astonisher’s is behind the usual wall !

    • Older says:

      And then there’s the usual apologists, Gracelyn, they only stole a can of coke, Smallwood and Florence, ya all a bunch of racists the kids were just out for a drive, Onus

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, don’t get worked up, let them condemn themselves out of their own mouths … as they regularly do.

        • Ray Fucking Purchase says:

          Was good to see Terri Brabon on the list. Theatre INQ is a world class outfit and they do it on a shoestring. She’s a gem. One of the most generous people I’ve ever met.

          • The Magpie says:

            Actually, with the forelock tugging exceptions of the editor, it was a pretty good list of deserving folks. Although there one or two big-employing businesswomen not there.

            AND DID YOU NOTICE, NOT A SINGLE REAL ESTATE AGENT OR THE LIKE INCLUDED. The cynical way the self-interested News Ltd makes these ordinary working agents rock stars is deeply depressing … who cares how much they earn by selling OTHER PEOPLE’S PROPERTY TO OTHER PEOPLE? Well, News cares, because they are far and away the biggest advertisers.

          • Ons Jabeur says:

            Great to see Dr Julie Mudd from public health make the list as well. Shame she no longer lives in Townsville and hasn’t for quite some time.

  6. Alahazbin says:

    An observation from last weeks blog. No comments from ‘Addled’. Has he/she been outed by one of the ‘nesters’ or caught out for too much internet usage.

  7. Echochamber says:

    I see the Queensland auditor has referred Gladstone Port to ASIC over concerns it broke the law. You’ll never guess which FIFO CEO is on the Board…….

    • Achilles says:

      Odor (being the apropos) of Rodent perhaps?

    • The Magpie says:

      Ummm, let’s think, now …. oh, the royal HIM!

      https://amp-abc-net-au.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.abc.net.au/article/100692066?amp_gsa=1&amp_js_v=a6&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16392801315703&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.abc.net.au%2Fnews%2F2021-12-11%2Fqld-auditor-refers-gladstone-ports-to-asic%2F100692066

      Choice quote from the story: “Due to concerns over the propriety of decision-making regarding the settlement payments, we reported a significant deficiency to Gladstone Ports.”
      Queensland auditor-general Brendan Worrall

      If Ralston has anything directly to do with the problems at the GPC, or even if it was just an ignorance of the situation by him as a board member (ha! yeah, that’d be it, right), his position as TCC CEO is untenable. In The Magpie’s opinion, it already is, morally and ethically, but unfortunately, not illegally. Yet.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        The TCC part-time CEO is very much involved in Board decisions, so anything that is untoward in the Port corporations actions has a direct impact on this clown as he is part of the decision making framework. There is also another Labor stooge that was on the Board ( well they are all mostly Labor stooges) and recently quietly stepped aside, Adrienne Ward. She was one of Peter Beatties round table cohorts and is a real piece of work. She pulls the Gladstone Mayors strings (Anna Alphabet has tugged his other one) and she owns all the local McDonalds franchises and gouges the public with higher drinks prices than what any other town charges. Her ego, love of money, and manipulation of politicians equals Ralston. Watch your backs when these two twats are close by.

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          And interestingly the Ports Corporation has just advertised for yet another CEO. The previous one was sacked and took legal action. And what a surprise to see Anthony Lynham getting appointed as Chair and Director. Yet another nice plum board position for a former Labor Minister. These never ending Labor appointments should be handed to the CCC to investigate.

          • The Magpie says:

            No point until legislation makes it illegal. And like that’s gunna happens … call it the Robb syndrome.

          • Townsville impaler says:

            Perhaps Ralston will bail out of Townsville and take on the ceo gig at Gladstone ports corporation? I believe it pays an extra $200k or so. Surely that’s an incentive for our 20 hour per week ceo.

          • The Magpie says:

            Not sure he’s done state Labor enough (or the most) favours to get the gig. That’s the way it works (see new Qld Governor, Dept of:)

  8. Dave Sth says:

    Pie. Little tip. A friend also a motorcyclist reported the roundabout in Lindeman Ave over Charles st as a hazard when conversing with Cr O’Callighan on another matter. If this is the problem then how many other complaints they had. He reckons the lesser roads are going to hell and a handbasket for bikes and are dangerous. Especially Bayswater rd vicinity of the Cement Factory and Lyndons.

    As for Ryder, I researched her when she blew into town. All front and no substance, including some charity she ran at the time. She sounds very nasty and is one that needs scrutiny at the round of next council elections. I had a few interactions with Paul Jacob and despite our disagreements always found him attentive and polite.

  9. I’ll be plucked says:

    Pie, someone is using my handle. I did not make the two comments you refer to above………The REAL Plucker!

  10. J Jones says:

    Did she write this herself? Ffs

    The Townsville mayor has shown her true colours in 2021. She displayed courage, strength and resilience after the tragic death in January last year of motorcyclist Darryl Lynch. Nearly 20 months later – in August, this year – Cr Hill was found not guilty of driving without due care and attention causing death in relation to the devastating crash. During the time the court case was still unresolved, Townsville’s longstanding mayor continued to steer the city through the pandemic, the 2019 flood recovery and economic growth. Faced with this, many less hardy souls would have crumbled.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Probably, or her pet sycophant, who does not realise that on the national and world stage the Mullet is a little fish, or maybe an amoeba. On the local stage she is a carbuncle on the arse of prosperity.

  11. The Magpie says:

    Fun on Twitter.

    Now the joke’s on who?

  12. The Magpie says:

    More fun on Twitter.

  13. The Magpie says:

    One for the buzz word enthusiasts out there (Hi Barely Civil!)

  14. Achilles says:

    Headline in today’s Guardian. He;s got a lifetime of convictions for fraud et al. So why call him an “alleged” conman?

    “Alleged conman Peter Foster faces fraud charges in Brisbane court after six months on the run”

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/dec/13/alleged-conman-peter-foster-faces-charges-in-brisbane-court-after-six-months-on-the-run

  15. Townsville impaler says:

    An local insider tells me that the department of agriculture, water and environment have contracted Nous to work with management in said department to improve the departments regulatory culture. Ever since the current Department Secretary and his deputy came on board they have stuffed up a restructure, introduced a shit new software system that has caused massive import inspection delays and is costing importers millions of lost dollars. All those ships you see coming in are losing money due to poor management at the department. They have hardly any experienced staff yet as lol the long term managers have taken retirement packages and bailed from the sinking ship.
    So Ralston will be earning more mega dollars from his partnership at Nous. These government departments sit fat with secretary’s on close to half a million dollars per year without providing any value. Ruby Princess ring a bell?

  16. Addled says:

    People have been enquiring as to my whereabouts. Well, I’ve been busy filling brown paper bags to put under the Councillors Xmas trees. I’ve also been busy currying you favours for Councillors in return for development approvals. And lastly, I have been very busy writing letters of disgust to Sky News for saying awful things about Fuhrer Morrison and his Libtards. So please excuse by absence. I must say however, it’s good to be back.

  17. The Magpie says:

    Rogered. Well and truly.

    For helping mastermind a weed operation, our man got five years, suspended after 18 months. Griffith was a prosecutor in Townsville for many years and swapped over the defense, before moving back to prosecutions in Cairns. Was always a nice enough bloke, friendly although on some occasions appeared to be, shall we say, on the spectrum.

    Know this has been mentioned in the Nest before but over lunch once, Griffith told us the story of a visit he made as a defence lawyer to Boggo Road back in the day. He bumped into an old lag whom he had defended. When he mentioned he was staying for lunch, the old lag said” Mr Griffith, you always did the right thing by me, so I’ll give you a tip … don’t eat the banana custard’.

    Some hard times ahead for the former prosecutor, one imagines.

  18. The Magpie says:

    Was there a special on shirts at Best & Less?

  19. The Magpie says:

    Seems a texter to the editor today has been reading The Magpie.

  20. Bubbles says:

    With the election campaign Unofficially in full swing the media needs to get on board and lock in Anthony Albanese’s nickname.

    If they used the first letters of SCOtt MOrrison’s first name, and the first letter of his last name to give us ScoMo, then ANthony ALbanese’s nickname is a cinch – AnAl.

    I can see the headlines after the election “Australia loves AnAl”

  21. The Magpie says:

    PLEASE ….. PURLEEESSE NEWS LTD, STOP IT, JUST FUCKING STOP IT.

    No, he was not. He was charged with assaulting a 12-year-old.

    There is no such charge as ‘allegedly assaulting’ … or any charge of ‘allegedly’ anything. The act of charging is not alleged, therefore whatever the wording in the charge says, the charge itself is not and cannot be alleged. A court will decide if he committed what he is charged with.

    Fucking alleged newspaper!

  22. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Magpie. Have a look at the picture the Bullsheet is using over their story about Jacob Biara’s death. Remembering your story last week.

  23. Let Rome burn says:

    Is anybody else enjoying watching these hands do smash and grabs on the rich fuckwits in Beverley Hills? Coordinated gangs of around 100 taking from the rich and giving to themselves! Love it. There should be more of this. That’s what happens when fucked up governments fuck over the poor class and what’s left of the middle class. This is only just the beginning.

    • The Magpie says:

      Put the banjo down and work that all through to the logical conclusion.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Yep, I love it too, because now the stores will have no choice but to employ security with guns, to shoot the vermin as they try to loot these places, this is going to be so much fun.

      • The Magpie says:

        And this statistic isn’t all that surprising, when you work out that while there are major ‘us and them’ issues in the States, violence like this will change only one thing …. the number of prisons will go up. Hard to get into uni with an IQ smaller than your shoe size.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          The Chicago Mayor actually blamed retailers for not providing security officers in their stores, as bizzare as it gets, surely the USA is only one step away from private police forces, gated communities etc as towns and cities abandon their law and order obligations, the place is fucked.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            “One step away” – have you been there? There is more private security in the US than most African civil wars.

  24. Mike Douglas says:

    Labors Herbert Candidate , our local MIA State Labor MP,s , Labor Mayors sphinter muscles would have had a work out when they saw the photo of Phil Thompson with Cubic announcing the local companies 14 yr $319.8 mil defence combat training deal . Add the cash boost for business , job keeper during COVID , NAIF funding in the region of nearly a bil $ , $195 mil retained by Phil it highlights the “chump change ” Townsville is receiving from the State Government . As far as Council , Jenny just keeps adding $ to Councils after pay account , payable after Team Hill departs leaving the ratepayers holding the bag .

    • NQ Gal says:

      MD – I wouldn’t call Cubic a local company when they are head quartered in San Diego! But, they do have a large facility here and have been in town for at least 15 years that I know of.

      • The Magpie says:

        Interpretation of local will always occupy some people, but the fact that they are here, bid for local business, and will bring money into the community is good enough.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        NQ Gal , as the Pie says , as long as they have local representation , employing and bringing $ into the local community . Korean Zinc , Glencore , local Singapore owned engineer employing locals working on Darwin Projects . Since AUKUS announced the U.S. are spending $270 mil on fuel storage in Darwin , Singapore defence west of Townsville . Many local companies simple dont have that scale .

  25. COVID Joke says:

    You’ d think the Queensland Government would have their shit sorted after 2 years fucking around with COVID.

    First test in a long time for Townsville and the Governments response is everyone on the plane and at the airport is a close contact so everyone quarantine for 14days.

    Then the story changes to only close contacts need to quarantine.

    For fuck sake get your story straight before creating unnecessary panic in the town.

  26. Achilles says:

    Mainland China reports first case of Omicron coronavirus variant. Pity they delayed announcing the bug had escaped months after it had bolted in the first place
    .
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/dec/13/mainland-china-reports-first-case-of-omicron-coronavirus-variant

  27. The Magpie says:

    Shooting From The Lip

    We are constantly exhorted to ‘trust the science’, and that is what sensible and sane people do … but when science gets muddled up with politics and big business, confusion reigns. The last 48 hours have given us graphic examples of reasons to doubt some claims, and for various reasons outside of science, that some are shooting from the lip. And that some people really haven’t got a fucking clue.

    Today’s Daily Astonisher front page is fair enough:

    What follows is certainly a confusion when three factors collide … the border opening, the fear of the Delta strain, and then the mysterious new kid on the block, Omicron. There is an informative little box that tells us what we know about Omicron … which is basically, bugger all.

    …and on the same page, a local doc calls for a more measured and thoughtful approach to start us adjusting to the world according to COVID.

    But further in the international pages, we have a conspiracy theorists wet dream

    The bloke who told the British Parliament overnight that – although no one yet knows what Omicron is or its effects are, it is a ‘severe disease’. And what’s more, if it starts canoodling up with Delta, it had the possibility to mutate into a super COVID virus. The doomsayer in this case is one Dr. Paul Burton. And just who does Dr Burton work for ?

    He is the chief health officer for a crowd called Moderna. Yes, that’s right, the same Moderna that is already making a gazillion bucks, pounds, Euros and shekels out of its COVID vaccine. And another deadly super strain of COVID will mean more super profits for his company.

    Now let’s be clear here, The Magpie is not suggesting that Dr Burton is pulling a swifty, or lying or exaggerating, or that he doesn’t genuinely believe what he is saying.

    But if authorities want us to ‘believe the science’ THEN WHY ASK HIM, OF ALL PEOPLE!! Conflict of interest comes to mind, and he could have reason to paint a worst case scenario. So even if he hasn’t, his information is tainted by his background.

    But galloping in on the back of this is our own rodeo trick rider, CHO Paul Kelly, executing a daring mid-ride backflip on the back of the Burton horse to horrify and scare us all … within a space of a few hours, Dr Kelly has gone from describing Omicron ‘mild’ and vaccines were an effective shield, to now saying it might even be able to pass our immune systems and wreak untold havoc.

    Add Kelly’s backflip to the policy-on-the-run by Palaszczuk and the border opening, and ,,,, well, Johannes Leak sums it up best.

  28. Alahazbin says:

    I see the state labor government are starting to play politics with funding for CopperString.
    Would be interesting to see how they would treat the proponents if they were of labor background.

    • Old Tradesman says:

      Would not matter, they are broke, the Olympics and Cross River Rail are more essential, they can’t even fund the water pipeline to nowhere.

  29. The Magpie says:

    Good God, not even the Astonisher would pun-ish us with this the from the TCC – and if the mayor actually did say it, she needs help.

    For the mystified: it’s about giving pets as presents at Christmas.

  30. The Magpie says:

    Coalition bare faced bastardry – bigger that car pork rorts – front page in most mainstream papers, radio bulletins and TV news, Twitter is alight and Facebook close to melt-down. But for News Ltd, especially in backwaters where they don’t want to upset the peasants, this on page 47 of the Townsville Bulletin.

    • The Don says:

      This government is not a political party, it is an organised crime syndicate. The corruption, lies, deceit, porkbarelling, coverups, and the list of its sins is endless. It’s fortunate for the politic as that the majority of Australian citizens are too lazy and stupid to see what is taking place, otherwise there would be anarchy and an insurrection. It’s a fucking disgrace.

      • Dammed says:

        The alternative isn’t that much better with plenty of examples to meet or beat the claims you’ve made above including former Labor MP Craig Thomson in jail, open admissions to corruption in Victoria re the Red Shirts & branch stacking as well as the predictable union thuggery.

        Couldn’t even begin to contemplate the Greens, Palmer or the other crazy alternatives.

        We’re fucked any which way.

  31. The Magpie says:

    Hmmmm …. Queensland investment killer or justified tax snatch? Won’t this have a massive effect on the Townsville property market? Seems sneaky to The ‘Pie … and pretty typical of the underlying ‘politics of envy’ policy position.

    From the Property Council of Australia.

    ‘Adjustment’ will see property held across multiple states used as basis for Qld tax thresholds
    Change to apply to new purchases
    During his Mid-Year Fiscal and Economic Review to be handed down this afternoon, the Queensland Treasurer is set to introduce a ‘land tax adjustment’, which will fundamentally change the way land tax is calculated in Queensland.

    The Property Council has publicly expressed its dismay at yet another tax (the tenth since 2016) being lumped on the property industry.

    While little detail is yet available, the new approach is expected to see nation-wide property portfolios taken into consideration when calculating the amount of land tax payable on Queensland-based property.

    This would most significantly impact those with smaller landholdings in Queensland, and particularly where local portfolios sit under the highest bracket of $10 million +.

    As an example, an owner of a Queensland property with a $500,000 taxable value would currently pay no land tax, as they sit under the tax-free threshold of $600,000.

    If interstate holdings were added into consideration and the owner also held a $500,000 property in South Australia, the owner would then be considered to hold $1 million of property for the purposes of land tax in Queensland.

    The relevant tax bracket for the combined total of the holdings ($1,000,00- $2,999,999) would then see land tax levied at an average 0.45 per cent of the Queensland-based property (0.45 per cent of $500,000, or $2,250).

    The owner who previously sat under the threshold would now be liable for $2,250 in land tax.

    This new approach will rely on drawing data from other State Government property databases to determine each landholders’ property holdings. It is expected to raise $20 million per year.

    A meeting request has been lodged with the Treasurer and more details are expected to be released during this afternoon’s MYFER.

    The Property Council has issued a media statement reinforcing the need for Queensland to open its doors to new opportunities, rather than increasing taxes on those seeking to invest in the state.

    • Mike Douglas says:

      What happened to Labor the workers party ? . Queensland Government announced their proposed legislation for renters that pets would have to be accepted and it would be hard not to renew leases and investors sold their properties resulting in rents going up for workers and the most vulnerable . This extra land tax will simply be passed on to renters .

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      This ham-fisted sledge-hammer approach only works equitably if no other jurisdiction is levying taxes on these other properties. If not it is clearly double-dipping and probably unconstitutional.

      Sad little Dick will do anything he can to balance the crooks (sorry, should be “books”).

  32. NQ Gal says:

    Nanna Anna has just announced mandatory mask wearing is back from 1am tomorrow. You know that if she could, she would be snapping the borders shut again, but that would be political suicide a week out from Christmas.

  33. Stalin says:

    So Fuhrer Palasczuk has reintroduced the wearing of masks in some locations and said that once Queensland is sitting at 90% vaccinated she will review the decision. This pathetic Premier has chosen smack on Xmas time to bribe the State to get vaccinated. What a disgraceful and arrogant piece of shit that she is. Bring on the next election…

  34. Dave of Kelso says:

    Magpie wearing his Covid mask.

    https://thebrag.com/magpie-swooping-face-masks/

  35. Jenny Wren says:

    In this age of identity theft, I find it extraordinary that the COVID-19 vaccination certificate that you have to show all around town has your date of birth and full name in the most prominent place on the page or screen.

    • NQ Gal says:

      Link the certificate to your check in app. All they see is the green tick and you are good to go.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie supposes he shouldn’t let on about this, but despite fiddling around on phone and computer, he hasn’t a clue how to gey the tick … because he doesn’t know how to set up a My Gov acct. Any 8 year olds out there who can help an old duffer?

    • Dorfus says:

      Jenny
      A like mind, thank you. I wrote to Medicare about this but was advised not their problem. Next step – the Commonwealth privacy people.

      Hopefully, the green tick on the contact-tracing screen should be convincing enough for most places. But to be sure, copy your certificate to a USB stick and have Officeworks produce a card-sized, laminated hard-copy certificate. Then blank out the date with a Sharpie pen or white-out.

      • The Magpie says:

        That’s too sensible for this current world, Dorfus … you can bet some shiny bum somewhere (or even a no-neck door lump) will say that the obliterated birth date makes it invalid.

        • The Magpie says:

          But that said, there is the flip side to possible fraud fears … the birth date would also act as a secondary proof of ID. If a 16yo snot tried to use The ‘Pie’s particulars, he would be a tad short of wrinkles and have a surfeit of hair to be believed.

          Heard of a neat trick used by suspicious coppers around the world. They ask a sus person showing ID their date of birth, which of course the person will have seen when it was lifted …immediately after the reply, the cop asks ‘And that makes you how old?’ Any hesitation in replying, as though you bare calculating, and you will be asked a few more questions down at the station.

        • Dorfus says:

          Waiting for that to happen – will make my day. Up the anti by reporting attempted identity theft to the police. Precise birth date unnecessary for vaccine checking by third parties.

          and Magpie, I emphasise – setting up a MyGov account takes a bit of skill. Why don’t you pop into Medicare (at Thuringowa). Staff there are most helpful. But take your cut lunch – it’s a long journey!

  36. Nickster says:

    Queensland Treasurer Cameron Dick cast the first stone in the Labor Tax the rich play book, with new land taxes introduced for interstate property investor.

    Looks,like we are going to see lose the unloveable election by introducing new tax left right and centre without realising interstate property investor support the building industry, provide investment for much needed rental housing.

    Can wait to see Anthony Albanese defend the new taxes on the rich, not that a property investor is the rich…. Maybe Cameron Dick forgot he gave millions of dollars to Twiggy Forest for hydrogen dream factories.

  37. The Magpie says:

    Umm … 1) the distillery is exciting, or 2) the plan is exciting, or 3) none of the above?

    3 wins it, English loses it … again.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Another bloody “could” story. Going back a bit Townsville “could” be S.E. Asia’s leadind aircraft maintenance centre. Townsville “could” be home to the Army’s School of Artillery. And there is a damn side more but I cannot think of them at this hour of the day.
      More bullshit non-stories of “coulds” that never eventuate.

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