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The Magpie

Saturday, August 28th, 2021   |   110 comments

Pongy Politics: Why The Wagners Are Happy Little Wellcampers – Premier Anna-Joh Does A Secret  Deal – And Then Feeds The Chooks. 

Should we be concerned about quarantine facility built and operated by Queensland taxpayers, in one of the most inappropriate sites imaginable – and with no guarantee of fly-in customers? And we’re not allowed to know how much it cost? Premier Alphabet goes all Joh on us.

Magpie exclusive: why no one in jail in Queensland will be getting parole any time soon.

They can’t help themselves … the Bulletin takes on a tour of local brothels and the Townsville tarts with hearts of gold … yup, this is a paper that loves ‘poking’ fun … and read that anyway you like.

But a big climb down for iditor Craig Warhurst over such reporting … he’s had his arse kicked until his nose bled by his Sydney overlords over a previous venture into this territory, not that you’d know about it from the paper, you only get that embarrassing fact from The Magpie and Media Watch.

But it’s taken an old pro at the paper itself to lay bare just how rooted this city has been, with a sad litany of council (read mayor’s) empty promises. Has the worm turned at the Astonisher? Not quite.

Plus our American gallery this week puts the boot into Biden … not surprisingly.

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Now, ever onward.

Too Much Jibber Jabber? No, Too Much Jabber Jibber.

We live in an age of rapidly changing language and meaning, when some meanings are reversed by the perverse. But one instance of the perverse reverse has become self evident.

‘jibber-jabber’ | ˈjibərˌjabər | informal

verb [no object] talk in a rapid and excited way that is difficult to understand

noun rapid and excited speech that is difficult to understand

But suddenly, this is now back-to-front, and we are being bombarded with ‘jabber jibber’ …  ‘the utter anti-vaxxer bullshit of Neanderthal  ignorance from the shallow end of the gene pool”.  That’s the end of the pool where there isn’t any lifeguard, and the Darwin Principle comes into full play.

It has now been established that the ‘global’ seemingly spontaneous marches of the tinfoil hat brigade (Townsville branch free membership: apply Peter Newey, TRRA website) were orchestrated by a small band of malcontents and professional stirrers in Germany. Such was the tech-savvy appeal of their carefully crafted come-on that all manner of rocks around the world rolled back for those dwelling underneath to come out blinking into the sun. Like this one who drew the attention of the smarties at The Shovel.

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In the end , it went massively off-script and  all a bit self-defeating as the marchers demanded everything from an end to holes in donuts to Alan Jones for PM (both equally empty arguments) – the core message against vaccination was largely lost in the heady mix of fruit and nuts for the cuckoo cake.

Anti-vax protestors 5f53e0a7b4b428dce4747759266f2772

But more sober considerations are still being given to just how to get the ‘hesitaters’ to front up and bare arms. One hotly debated question is that of incentives, from lottery tickets, theatre tickets to Colorado’s popular come-on of a free spliff. It’s a contentious subject.

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But Bentley thinks a sure-fire way to get certain folks to get vaxxed is obvious … a beer with every jab! With one of Townsville’s leading booze artists setting a great example.

pricks prelim

Adding a jab to his repertoire of haymakers and round-house swings will maybe make Les personally safer, but not necessarily the public.

This May Not Rate Highly On Your Giveafuckometer, But ….

Official data seen by The Magpie shows that the backlog of parole hearings in Queensland means that if a prisoner were to apply for a parole order right now, their application would not even be considered before April next year.

Currently, the Queensland Parole Board has 4334 outstanding matters – 2198 new applications for parole and 2136 from consideration of suspension of existing parole orders.

Perhaps this is the government’s way of claiming they are keeping crims off our streets.

Now Nesters, You Are Not To Worry Your Pretty Little Heads About This But …

Quote of the week:

“Premier Palaszczuk, does the Prime Minister know about this announcement that you are going to fund and operate the Wellcamp Quarantine facility?”

 ‘Well, he does now.”

It happens so often towards the end of a politician’s public life … a combination of weariness and ill-placed hubris kick in and things start to go off the rails – Joh For Canberra comes to mind, and locally, Tony His Radiance Mooney’s final couple of years as mayor was text book stuff of someone disappearing up their own arse.

So was our Premier’s arrogant finger to the electorate – and the office the Prime Minister – on Thursday her farewell gesture before she is forced out of office? Obviously Anna Joh Palaszczuk doesn’t think so, such is her questionable belief that she is a unbeatable COVID heroine to Queenslanders. It is this belief surely that led to Thursday’s gobsmacking strutting for the cameras about a financially secret deal with Toowoomba’s Wagner Family company to build an unnecessary, totally redundant  white elephant quarantine facility near the Wagner-owned Wellcamp airport. Such was her regal mindset that she didn’t even let the mayor of Toowoomba know about the announcement.

This from comments on the day.

The Magpie 

August 26, 2021 at 11:16 am  (Edit)

So the fix is in … Premier Joh Palaszczuk has announced that the Wellcamp quarantine facility at Toowoomba to be built by the Wagner family company AT A

 SECRET COST – C in C of course – that would be Cynical in Connivance.

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Reply

  • The Magpie

August 26, 2021 at 11:27 am  (Edit)

And just to remind you of the absolute insulting absurdity of Anna Joh’s ruling of secrecy, here’s a reminder of C in C.

Commercial in confidence
A classification that identifies information that, if disclosed, may result in damage to a party’s commercial interests, intellectual property or trade secrets. You must not disclose any information marked ‘Commercial in Confidence’ without permission from the party who supplied it. This type of information is protected through confidentiality agreements.

Will David Crisafulli please ask the premier next question time to broadly outline (without giving anything away of course) just what possible intellectual property, commercial interests and/or trade secrets (FFS, a rort cannot be held to be a trade secret, can it?) would be revealed with the exposure of the Wellcamp facility’s cost?

Or have the Wagners got the LNP covered with a handy cross-donation into that party’s coffers also?

Christ, this Queensland!!!

Does any of this this remind you of any other project the Wagner lads have been involved with … like say, a failed attempt to get local government funds to build an airstrip for the Adani mine, and then operate it, charging the people who built it operational fees? And their demand, upheld in court, to keep financial details commercial in confidence, despite it being ratepayer money.

Just Poking Fun .,. The Bulletin’s Grubby Obsession

The Magpie was suitably astonished by The Daily Astonisher with this weekend’s feature story in the paper’s magazine.

Brothel Story Screen Shot 2021-08-28 at 8.57.20 am

And of course, the titillation included the usual sniggery schoolboy innuendos.

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The gaucheness of it all was pretty uninspired guff, but what did surprise was that this was the very type stuff that iditor Craig Warhurst supposedly  reprimanded by his Sydney overlords a week ago.

From comments:

The Magpie

August 24, 2021 at 12:06 pm  (Edit)

When he embarked on his blogging quest, The Magpie knew it would be a long haul flight and that there would be very few navigational aids to confirm he is on the right flight path. But the week has yielded one positive confirmation of a way point he aimed for and has now passed.

Last night on Media Watch, the Townsville Bulletin got its due come-uppance three weeks after The Magpie had raised the issue in his blog which was duly picked by Media Watch. They followed it through to that the old bird thinks was its inevitable conclusion.

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The end result of the Media Watch interest was:

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You can see the whole sorry tale of more Townsville-boosting grubsville gone national here … the relevant bit starts at 13.14secs … or is that sex.

Now one wonders if iditor Craig Warhurst got his arse deservedly kicked until his nose bled, or just a ‘nice try, bad luck’ from Holt Street management?

The Bulletin’s brothel boosting yarn would suggest the latter.

But There Was A More Welcome Astonishment In The Weekend’s Bulletin

Like The Magpie, veteran reporter Tony Raggatt has been keeping a scorecard of many of the promised projects that have been mightily boosted by an unquestioning paper, and he didn’t pull any punches when his double page spread laid bare the blatant spin from our giddy mayor.

Broken promises Screen Shot 2021-08-28 at 8.56.38 am

Interestingly, as Raggatt notes, so many of these matters just simply disappeared ‘fizzled away’  off the news cycle radar, with no real explanation for their demise beyond meaningless statements like ‘now is not the time for this project’. And also disappeared are the variety of urgers and spin doctor plants that proposed a lot of these ideas. And telling – until now – not doggedly followed up by the paper. 

So an A plus for such good honest and much overdue reporting. Gosh, perhaps they’ve been reading The Magpie!

But On The Other Hand …

But in the very same issue, the iditor get’s F minus for his thigh-slapping editorial fabrication about Townsville Enterprise, on the occasion of the once great organisation’s 30th birthday.

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Ahem, matey. Stunning?  FFS look around you, cloth head! And TEL apolitical? Even Mooney will admit he helped found TEL so his initiatives would be acted on at arm’s length and so appear apolitical. But Mr Warhurst, an organisation thats very existence  depends on a $750,000 injection of ratepayer funds from a Labor council, and a board and management that dance to the tune of the current mayor, is apolitical?  When Jenny Hill joins a group jolly down to Canberra, the shot callers down there aren’t as dense as you and your silly assessment, and they act accordingly.

The ‘Pie knows that reality is a daunting challenge for you, Craig, but please do try harder. We will love you more for it.

Here’s a photo that is symbolic of the current Townsville Enterprise situation, as they move to new premises. Couldn’t be more exact.

TEL lease PXL_20210813_024438482

Vale, Emma

The Magpie had confirmation this week of something else he has had right for several years now. The self-serving and ludicrous readership measurement tool Enhanced Media Metrics Australia (EMMA) is now defunct, and the industry has gone back to the ever reliable Roy Morgan group. Murdoch thought up and helped finance EMMA because he didn’t like the truths that Roy Morgan was telling him, but it proved to be a laughably optimistic – if not outright fabrication – with advertisers. The announcement vindicated The Magpie’s reporting over the past few years.

Media site Mumbrella reported:

In April, ThinkNewsBrands announced the appointment of Roy Morgan to measure news readership and the retirement of EMMA (Enhanced Media Metrics Australia).  Of this change, advertising executive Vanessa Lyons : “The move to Total News, produced by Roy Morgan, (and the scrapping of EMMA) brings clarity to the industry as all advertisers, agencies and publishers can now rely on one audience metric for news, enabling better campaign investment decisions through simplified media planning tools.

Wonder how all the mug advertisers now feel about the spin they’ve been subjected to and the ‘enhanced’ rate cards when EMMA held sway.

But That Said, Some Highly Goodish News For The Bulletin

It seems COVID has been kind to the Astonisher, with the latest year-on-year print and digital figures combined showing a significant up-tick for the paper. Indeed, the Bulletin has shown a significant increase in readership, greatly aided by its now claimed 18,500 digital subscribers. And is the only paper to have made a turn around, it seems. Column 1 Fin year19/20 column 2 Fin year20/21 Ditto last two columns for Saturday readership

Newspaper stats Screen Shot 2021-08-24 at 10.10.58 am

But still, those stats would suggest that print is in strife, since readership is calculated that more than one person reads each printed copy – EMMA claimed it was 8 readers per copy, which was just horsefeathers and the sort of confected nonsense that led to its demise. But perhaps with digital and print combined to make these handsome looking numbers, and a more sensible number of perhaps two readers per printed copy, the print run must now be below 10,000.

Fatty’s Been Fibbing Again

Clive Palmer’s Minerolgy had taken exception to ASIC’s view that its version of it’s financial position was a great steaming crock, and was seeking penalties. Minerology lawyered up and went to court seeking a declaration of what good corporate citizens they were.

Bad move, buddy.

This week, Justice Michael Wigney put on his legal bovver boots and ruled that:

“The controversy asserted by Mineralogy is contrived and artificial and the relief sought is, in effect, at best hypothetical and advisory in nature.

“Even if the Court had jurisdiction to entertain the claim, it would in any event have been appropriate to enter judgment against Mineralogy on the basis that it has no reasonable prospect of successfully prosecuting the proceeding.”

The claim was set aside and Mineralogy was ordered to pay ASIC’s costs.”

‘Contrived and artificial’ as a judge’s view of a matter is about as strong as it gets . Sad to think that the money Palmer wasted on this long walk on a short legal pier could have built a small regional hospital.

Biden’s Copping A Beating

The Afghanistan withdrawal continues to dominate the American mood, and they’re not letting Joe Biden off the hook. Between that and the anti-vaxxers, it’s been a week of grim humour from the penmen.

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Finally, Believe The Science, It Cannot Be Denied …

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………………..

That’s it for another week, but have your say about anything brought up in the blog … or anything else …. In comments. They run 24/7.

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

110 Comments

  1. Mike Douglas says:

    December 10th 2020 front page of the Townsville Bulletin had Mayor Hill drumming up support for a North Queensland State saying ” we dont get our share ” . Seems she isnt playing the right tune as her State Labor mates short changed Townsville $110 mil 2021/22 State Budget on Haughton Pipeline stage 2 even though Molachino and Scott Stewart tried to fool the voters of Townsville by organizing media with a map showing where the pipeline will go . Speaking of Scott Stewart , his new salary as a minister is $350k a year + car + , Les and Aaron increase to $170 k + + , Annastascia salary increases by $30k to $427k . You know another broken promise that there will be no State Politicians pay increase until after COVID . Remember , we are all in this together unless you own a business are unemployed or get 2 % wage increase .

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Governments know that us common folk don’t agree with their disgustingly high salaries and endless troughs filled with personal rorts. So to avoid scrutiny they all have ‘external and independent remuneration boards’ who set the salary rates. That way our illustrious leaders can say “it’s not my fault, I didn’t want a pay rise but the remuneration committee is the one who has forced that upon me”! Ha. Nice try fuckwits. We all know the scam and how it works. The system is gamed for the politician to always win. Politicians are like casinos, the house always wins. Their pay rises during COVID, let alone any time, is abhorrent. It is a disgrace and they happily thumbs their noses at the rest of society because they are untouchable.

  2. Crayons ready says:

    It would appear that you may need to draw your own conclusions soon with the punting of yet another two snappers at the Astonisher. Matt Taylor and the ever lovely Alix Sweeney both getting the flick over part time, some time Shae Beplate and the Stalwart Evan Morgan still hanging on by a thread.
    Taylor and Sweeney have moved camps across the river to the Cowboys camp. At least of our boys can’t win, they will look good between losses.

  3. Two dogs says:

    Seriously, in this age of internet smut and the plethora of ‘dirty stuff’ to satisfy ones perverse desires, why would a newspaper need to print a shitty article about hookers sex lives? We get it – $60 for a wristy or $200 for ‘one with the lot’. Yes yes and we know – the girls have monthly health checks, clients are made to shower before coitus and the entire industry is totally above board. Boring zzzzzzz. Seriously, an article about nothing knew. It’s more interesting watching grass grow.

    • The Magpie says:

      Take your point but think the actual issue here is not ‘perverse desires’ … wanting sex is a one of the basic building blocks of human (actually all) nature, and there will be those who choose through rational decisions to use sex workers and avoid relationships – or obtain some secret satisfaction not available in the usual framework of ‘domestic bliss’. And indeed, prostitution serves a useful role as a safety valve in any society, although operating in Townsville is a challenge, given all the amateur competition available down at Via Vomitorium any night of the week (cost the same but but the method of payment somewhat more complicated with no guarantees, and certainly no money back arrangement if someone reneges on the tacit deal.)

      No, the issue as The Magpie sees it is the role of the Bulletin in this community, and the mainstream values it is reasonable to expect the Bulletin to adhere to … yes, yes, it’s fashionable to argue that point about what are those values nowadays, but surely some things are non-negotiable. Getting your new community morality from blow-in pups and editors on the corporate make through sales and algorithms is confronting when they offer nothing more than the base rutting sentiments of social media. Rather than setting itself apart and objectively setting themselves above the uncontrolled dross of social media, the Bulletin is getting down in the barnyard mud to join the morass rather than offer a more stable point of reference for society generally.

      And all in the name of money.

      So the word prostitution doesn’t just apply to a bloke or bird getting someone to open their legs for money, it also applies to venal corporate executives that want you to open their paper – for money.

      Whew, time for a nap – alone.

      • Two dogs says:

        Well said Mr Pie. And I agree with you, prostitution serves a role for both employee and client. It’s a choice, and a legitimate business to fill a legitimate void, if you get my drift. And your use of the word ‘rutting’ is appropriate as humans love to rut, and so do dears and elk. Even Townsville’s biggest dipshit Sir Les ‘Patterson’ Walker likes to attempt the odd drunken rut at a Townsville club or two.

  4. Interested observer says:

    Love Bentley’s cartoon – one of his best!
    He has expertly captured the image and character of Messageblank Walker.
    Just hope our bashed up buffoon doesn’t get into an argument with the bikie type at the bar.

  5. The Magpie says:

    Now for some real journalism. Forget your political bias, The Guardian does great investigative work … like this.

    Hey it’s Sunday, and that is long read time (at least before or after the footy – priorities, ya know.

    This is an eye opener as to how we continue to sell the farm, and how we will be even more at the mercy of rapacious, unscrupulous foreign interests (read crooks). As if the Chinese owning a significant stake in our water resources (how the hell did that happen to become privatised?) corporate crooks like Adani tryin to raid the public purse , and home grown species of egregious rat like Palmer wasn’t enough, now we have this couple of Brazilian jail birds on the make.

    Read an d enjoy … or don’t.
    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/aug/29/meet-the-batistas-the-global-beef-barons-battling-for-control-of-australias-meat?utm_term=53a650743325ad8629265c55fa5a6f8d&utm_campaign=GuardianTodayAUS&utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&CMP=GTAU_email

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      You can thank Labor and the greens for fucking Australian food processing industries, why would anyone in this country with half a brain want to be involved. These multi nationals have the processes in place plus the volume and global market access to absorb the high costs, onerous regulations and compliance that would screw any local operator.

    • Julius Sumner Miller says:

      Without wanting to start a debate around the merits of eating meat, of greater concern about JBS Expanding is the further concentration of food production in Australia, hypothetically JBS could be vulnerable to a take over/ buyout by entities and venture capitalists supporting the plant based meat alternatives, if this was to occur many Australians, particularly the disadvantaged would be in jeopardy of being priced out of food choice, not to mention the threat to the livelihood of livestock farmers.

  6. Snowpeas says:

    So happens, The Department of Health, Canberra is currently working on a new national Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) education program. One young sprite thought shock tactics the way to go, but the Minister’s office quickly quashed the Syphilis can lie dormant for 30 years header. Thought it would scare the pants off people.

  7. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie, you continually lament about the $750,000 of ratepayers money paid to those “Dudley Do-Nothings” at Townsville Enterprise.
    And I totally agree with those laments!
    But, what about the $350,000 per annum paid to “Davey Do-Nothing” Crisafooly?
    $350,000 of taxpayers’ money for doing…absolutely nothing!!
    Now you know why Anna has a permanent, smug smile on her face!
    She has no opposition!!

  8. Snowpeas says:

    Note the Whitsunday Mayor, Andrew Willcox has been announced as LNP candidate to replace George Christensen as Dawson MP.

    What a clever way to muzzle the Queensland Opposition Leader on pay rises – give him one too.

    • The Magpie says:

      Not quite I follow what you’re saying.

    • Fat boy slim says:

      Fatty Wilcox is just another politician seeking to expand his career (and waistline) by jumping up a political level. The LNP must be getting desperate. That fool Anthony Albanese has recruited the little weasel mayor of Gladstone to his team, replacing geriatric Ken Not’endowed. That other old fossil from Cains, MP Warren Stench, will also be departing at the next election. Whether it be Mayor or MP for these clowns, makes no difference as they are all useless twats.

  9. Critical says:

    I really have to ask what are the independently measurable outcomes of TEL, if such business tools within TEL, for Townsville and the region that TEL supposedly supports. I can’t really find any independently measured outcomes on the TEL website. Plently of phantom projects and figures conjured up by TEL only.

    After not finding any real evidence of outcomes for TEL, I then had a look at their people. Now I’m wanting to know what an organisation with 10 Board members, 16 full-time staff, 1 part-time staff member, 1 casual staff member and 3 Advisory Committees actually do. The only real workers are probably their volunteers at the Visitor Information Centres. Sounds like a bloated organisation full of its own self importance feeding on tax payer and rate payer grants to me.

  10. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Really Mr. Pie…define “silly”?

  11. Andrew says:

    Doesn’t this post by a prominent lawyer in Brisbane clearly contradict the Premier (eg no new arrivals into hotel quarantine), and alarming show the creeping powers of Qld Health, Police and the Army.

    Where is the media scrutiny?

    https://www.linkedin.com/posts/steve-russell-a507aa2_the-police-and-army-are-now-in-control-activity-6837565747024273408-US2v

  12. One legged tap dancer says:

    So the Townsville Bulletin has achieved an impressive readership increase thanks to a surge in online customers.
    Surely they wouldn’t be counting subscribers twice – once for the paper edition and then the same people a second time because they also get the online edition as an inclusion in their subscription.
    Nah, News Limited wouldn’t stoop that low, would it?

  13. Uncle Frank says:

    I see Magnis have made an announcement to the ASX today that sees Mayor Jenny Hill’s favourite project Imperium 3 look like it is finally dead, with all the money heading to the USA.

    Magnis are well overdue to make the final investment decision which was due in mid-2020. Following the Palaszczuk Government’s $3.1 million contribution towards the Magnis feasibility study.

    If Jenny Hill was serious about Magnis she would have them signed up, and “Paid-Up” for their land at Lansdown, with Townsville City Council already started works towards the success of the project e.g. roads, water and sewerage etc. where Magnis we to start construction in 2022.

    But alas Lansdown remains a dry, empty dust bowl, devoid of life, a fitting legacy for Mayor Jenny Hill.

    • The Magpie says:

      Can’t locate the ASX link (got one?) but here are a couple of things that back up your view. Or is this what you’re talking about?

      First, there is this, where the language is that of pure huckmsterism for the yokels to buy the snake oil. And boasting that cleaned out a shed ready to install equipment is laughable, especially when they trumpet that the project – which has been going for some years now – is 23% complete!! This overview says it all.

      • New York Plant Status – 23% complete • Internal Building clear-out completed with internal works having started • Machinery roll-out to start in September • Public review of Air Permit has had no objections so far and on track to be granted in the near term • Lukasz P. Cianciara joins iM3NY to focus on US listing • Safety – Zero incidents to date in August

      https://themarketherald.com.au/john-hancock-helps-fund-magnis-energy-technologies-asxmns-2021-08-03/

      But this one is even more damning …
      https://wcsecure.weblink.com.au/pdf/MNS/02414438.pdf

      … and making our mayor look like the starry-eyed, self-promoting financial fuckwit she is. This link includes these rather interesting lines, which indicate there will be SFA left over for a promised Townsville battery re-packing plant of imported goods, let alone the unicorn LaLa Land of a $3billion Lansdown mega factory.

      John Hancock is throwing his weight behind Magnis Energy Technologies (MNS), helping the company raise $20 million in funds.
      The son of mining magnate Gina Rinehart has announced the investment firm he advises, The Lind Partners, will spend $10 million on a convertible note facility.
      Fellow US-based institution SBC Global Investment Fund has also announced $10 million in funding via the facility.

        This includes $17.6 million being spent on potentially expanding Magnis’ iM3NY Battery Plant in New York

      .

      But surely we won’t have to find out the truth behind all this, no doubt our hard-hitting, all-for-us investigative reporters at the Bulletin will be on to it immediately, even if they have to be pulled off promising blockbuster stories about ‘Brave Toddler’s Battle With In-Grown Toenail.’

  14. Interested observer says:

    Actually the bonus online access is useful to catch up with any news updates during the day.
    Not there are many, of course.
    But if I read the paper in the morning, then go online to check what’s happing during the day, am I counted as two readers?
    That’s the burning question, but I don’t expect any answer from Warthog Warhurst.

  15. Snowpeas says:

    Gold Coast Bulletin today re Rugby Tests on GC: “Astonishingly cheap tickets” – “Fans will be able to buy a cheap $49 entry ticket for two Test Matches running back to back and allows a mate to join for free”. Equates to “bronze and silver category seats at $12 25″. GCB 30/8 Wonder if same for Townsville Tests?

  16. Nickster says:

    Pie while I am sure many are interested in USA politics, the data shows we should take a cautious approach to role modelling many aspect of the USA.

    +400 mass shooting this year, a tragic statistic.

    https://twitter.com/GunDeaths/status/1422312123447726081?s=20

    • The Magpie says:

      Think we stopped role modelling the US years ago, probably started with Vietnam … their political model is broken for lack of real safeguards, a lesson we should learn before it is too late.

      • Urban Moving Systems says:

        America was taken into the Vietnam war by the gulf of tonkin incident – fake news. It was reported that the US navy was under attack from North Vietnam. Vietnam started the real structural damage to America – false flag attacks to justify a war. Australia piled in by supporting the war.

  17. The Misogynist says:

    Just wanted to note what a terrific job all the girls have done to support our Townsville and State Economy. Jenny Mullet Hill, Adele The Impaler, The Tool, Little Patti (now Brun Hilda), Nanna Young and what about the Qld Premier, Anna Chins Alphabet!!!

    Three cheers for this stunning group of girls who are economic legends and champions of our community! N O T!

  18. Interested observer says:

    Les was last seen running backwards and forwards from the 1300smiles covid vaccination area to the Brothers Leagues Club.

  19. Prince Rollmop says:

    The Palasczuk governments claim of ‘commercial in confidence’ with the Wagners latest offering of ‘Hotel le COVID’ is pure bullshit. When it comes to spending taxpayer and ratepayer monies there should always be 100% transparency. To hide the dollar value is sneaky and it really is borderline dishonesty. Why is the government happy to flash around a dollar value on some of the things it spends on, but not when it comes to other things? Why is there always secrecy with the Wagner’s – Adani airport, Wellcamp Quarantine faculty etc when it comes to the dollar value? More political shenanigans from a dodgy Queensland Government.

    • Lansdown pantsdown says:

      A report in today’s Astonisher that the Federal government’s Northern Australia Infrastructure Facility is being taken by the hand and led to Lansdown is good news isn’t it? If the NAIF agrees to make an investment then the Member for Herbert will be able to deliver the transparency Rollmop is calling for.

  20. Snowpeas says:

    Gees Pie, seems you’re not a cranky old buggar afterall – just need regular contact with the locals and more cheese, mince and ham. “Make mates with the Magpies” P04 Townsville Bulletin 31/8.

  21. Moment says:

    Hello that you Nana? Les here, yeh Les! Great thinking of us up here in the North. Down at the full-house Correctional Centre they are looking forward to that new, keep us safe and well camp, in country Toowoomba. We will only send the best behaved, the ones that keep returning and happy to share with those long- term quarantine guests spending their 2 full weeks. What a surprise as plenty missed the ground break, so any update on the open day would be great. The 3 Amigos will attend next photo opportunity and not forgetting tickets to either NRL or the Cricket really appreciated for the mob and just arrived in Queensland.

    • The Magpie says:

      Yes, humour is just so difficult. Perhaps time you gave away your ambitions in that department.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Moment, either you have forgotten to take your prescription meds, or you are soaked in your favourite liquor.

      Agree with The Pie – give it up, that’s about as funny as a funeral, or a very bad fart in a full lift!

  22. Mike Douglas says:

    Gotta love Premier Palaszczuks response in Parliament when questioned why returning Queenslanders were locked out of their own State for two weeks and her response was ” we will let them back in when its safe ” . So its safe for the Australian and Indian female Cricketers to take over a a quarantine hotel , 100 nrl players wives and children to fly in but not returning Queenslanders ? . The Queensland Government cant manage quarantine hotels but can organize the Olympics ? .

  23. Achilles says:

    An Ode to 1st September

    The spring is sprung,
    The grass is riz.
    I wonder where the boidies is.
    The little boids is on the wing.
    Naa, dats obsoid;
    The little wings is on the boids.

    Erroneously attributed to Ogden Nash

  24. The Magpie says:

    AFGHANISTAN

    The Magpie is going off the Townsville/Queensland reservation this morning and looking at one aspect of the Afghan withdrawal.

    The ‘Pie is constantly amazed with the gullibility and the laziness of otherwise intelligent and educated people who, zombie-like, accept pernicious and obvious lies and misrepresentation on social media.

    I say lazy because most claims can be quickly and easily checked and be found to be total nonsense – or, in rare cases, the truth. Trump had a willing audience to respond to his Nazi dictum of ‘say something often enough and people will eventually believe it’. His skill- the only skill he possessed – in doing this exposed a deep flaw not just in his own nation, but in pockets of various societies around the globe. Including Australia, which is proving fertile ground to convert otherwise sane people into babbling banshees.

    An excellent example of this is the following email sent to The ‘Pie by a chum – a friend he respects, but realises is just simply a lazy player being spoon fed what is politely called ‘disinformation’.

    Even the originator of this list admits it cannot be verified, but what is easily refuted is the foaming, faux indignation of the posturing and totally incorrect introduction.

    What was it all for, the loss of lives & livelihoods, the injuries & ensuing handicaps, heartaches, the enormous expense, & all the rest of the various costs of the hostilities over so many years??? The futility of it all!!! Then leaving all this intact & functional war machinery behind, not even disabled!!!!, to enable the Taliban fanatics to even more thoroughly entrench their oppressive shariah rule & to resist opponents….??? (The accuracy of the list below has not been checked, nor can it be accurately of course…. )

    Here is a more complete list of US-supplied and left behind equipment list now controlled by Taliban:

    -2,000 Armored Vehicles Including Humvees and MRAP’s
    -75,989 Total Vehicles: FMTV, M35, Ford Rangers, Ford F350, Ford Vans, Toyota Pickups, Armored Security Vehicles etc
    -45 UH-60 Blachhawk Helicopters
    -50 MD530G Scout Attack Choppers
    -ScanEagle Military Drones
    -30 Military Version Cessnas
    -4 C-130’s
    -29 Brazilian made A-29 Super Tocano Ground Attack Aircraft

    =208+ Aircraft Total!!

    -At least 600,000+ Small arms M16, M249 SAWs, M24 Sniper Systems, 50 Calibers, 1,394 M203 Grenade Launchers, M134 Mini Gun, 20mm Gatling Guns and Ammunition
    -61,000 M203 Rounds
    -20,040 Grenades
    -Howitzers
    -Mortars +1,000’s of Rounds
    -162,000 pieces of Encrypted Military Comunications Gear
    -16,000+ Night Vision Goggles
    -Newest Technology Night Vision Scopes
    -Thermal Scopes and Thermal Mono Googles
    -10,000 2.75 inch Air to Ground Rockets
    -Recconaissance Equipment (ISR)
    -Laser Aiming Units
    -Explosives Ordnance C-4, Semtex, Detonators, Shaped Charges, Thermite, Incendiaries, AP/API/APIT
    -2,520 Bombs
    -Administration Encrypted Cell Phones and Laptops ALL operational
    -Pallets with Millions of Dollars in US Currency
    -Millions of Rounds of Ammunition including but not limited to 20,150,600 rounds of 7.62mm, 9,000,000 rounds of 50.caliber
    -Large Stockpile of Plate Carriers and Body Armor
    -US Military HIIDE, for Handheld Interagency Identity Detection Equipment Biometrics
    -Lots of Heavy Equipment Including Bull Dozers, Backhoes, Dump Trucks, Excavators

    Gotta love that bit about Pallets with Millions of Dollars in US Currency – just where that absurd claim arose conjures an image of a crotch-scratching, wind breaking fatso in a sweaty singlet sitting in his basement bedroom with a glowing laptop and a six pack. (Morning, Tropical.)

    However, there is a small and growing band of people fighting back against disinformation like this sort of mix of fact and fiction … and the leading bullshit buster in this field is the excellent Snopes investigative team. They looked at the above list and reached a well documented conclusion.

    Here are the well documented and researched results their investigations.

    https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/us-taliban-arsenal-military-equipment/?utm_campaign=Snopes%20Debunker%20-%20Tuesday%2C%20August%2031%2C%202021%20-%20Tonight%3A%20Taliban%20dangling%20a%20man%20from%20a%20Black%20Hawk%20helicopter%2C%20military%20equipment%20in%20Afghanistan%2C%20Kamala%20Harris%20and%20the%20vaccine%20roll-out%20under%20Trump%2C%20and%20doctored%20Epstein%20photos%20%28TSnDHn%29&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Snopes%20Debunker%20-%20Tuesday%20Edition

    The ‘Pie now eagerly awaits the tsunami of frothing claims that Snopes is itself ‘fake news’.

    • Nickster says:

      Pie I think you’ll get more comments from the Woke leaning contributors for your “off the reservation” comments.

      Interesting that Snopes state the value left behind by the US is approx $10 billion, nearly a third of the ADF’s annual budget.

      • The Magpie says:

        Snopes indicates that what they left behind was ‘demilitarised’, so its actual value is questionable.

        The ‘Pie doesn’t have any ‘woke leaning’ contributors, otherwise The ‘Pie would be red faced.

        • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

          To be accurate, the report in Snopes says in relation to vehicles that “many of which were demilitarized” which is just slightly different to your Magpie spin of “what they left behind was ‘demilitarised’ “. A subtle difference but an important one.

          There seemed to still be many fully operational HumVees and very operational looking US machine guns being used by beautifully uniformed Taliban on the TV news lately. Also three or four lovely looking Chinooks in a hanger on ABC last night.

          Not picking a fight, just you started the accuracy crusade on this one.

          • The Magpie says:

            See, this is exactly how it starts. The HumVee and weaponry you mention are likely to be Afghan Government vehicles previously gifted by the US, but even if not, not sure that you could ‘demilitarise'; a HumVee. And for some reason, you opt for very minor nit-picking and choose to ignore the overall issue of disinformation on a massive scale by anonymous actors, as we apparently say nowadays.

            like The ‘Pie said, this is exactly how this bullshit starts.

          • Ralph says:

            I’m sure that the US or any of the allies would know how to make any vehicle that uses diesel or unleaded useless, very simple really, run them with out oil and then they are had it. Most technology needs only one component to fail( just take it out) and it to is then useless until that component is replaced ( you have to be able to get the components), I’m sure what ever was left would only be able to be used for a small amount of time. Ralph.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      That makes interesting reading, especially the bit:

      “The Taliban’s new arsenal does not include $80 billion in military equipment, 22,000 Humvees, and 33 Black Hawk helicopters. At the moment, it appears that the Taliban actually acquired 10 inoperable Black Hawk helicopters, about 2,000 vehicles (many of which were demilitarized), and a number of other weapons totaling less than $10 billion. ”

      Only $10b worth – phew, that’s a relief.

      • The Magpie says:

        So $70billion difference is deserving of your childish sarcasm?

        Why are you trying to knock down the original post of wildly exaggerated, Fox-style reporting?

  25. One legged tap dancer says:

    Lovely 2 page spread in today’s Astonisher with heaps of photos of the usual suspects at the annual knees-up of the Pat Yourself on the Back Society, also known as Townsville Enterprise or the Townsville Bulletin 50 Most Infulential Club.
    Looking through the photos it occurred to me that the majority of those present were experts at spending taxpayer’s money.
    Wonder if they all paid for their tickets.
    Couldn’t help but notice that Kevin “Rhymes with” Gill was among the revellers.
    Anyone know what’ he’s doing these days since getting the chop at Townsville Airport?

    • Airline says:

      Kevin Gill is shown on TEL’s Website as Chairman of the Board of Director’s. Jenny Hill is listed as the Deputy Chairman

  26. The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

    I actually stopped in to say what a piece of crap the new BullSheet website is – not just harder to read on screen, but with less local news and fewer opportunities for comment on stories of any importance.

    Thanks Rupert!

  27. Interested observer says:

    From the Townsville Bulletin’s online edition today:

    Oh dear!

  28. Sergeant Gunny Highway says:

    The ‘leftovers’ in Afghanistan do not pose a threat to the west. HumVee’s, night-vision goggles, contractor guns, vests, uniforms, radios, ammo, even drones are not an issue. Even some of the aircraft left behind are not a threat because those bearded idiots won’t know how to maintain them for an extended period of time. All of the aforementioned equipment contains no military secrets that can be used against us. It’s either old technology or common technology that is not secretive. Some satellite surveillance equipment links were destroyed over the past few weeks. The Taliban in Afghanistan are definitely a threat to their own people, for sure, but not to the west. If the Tali’s get too enthusiastic the US coalition will ‘drone them’, with drones operated across the border from Pakistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan or Tajikistan. As for the value of the hardware, it doesn’t matter if it’s $10b or $70b. The war cost between $2 trillion to $4 trillion by guesstimate. The revenue from the poppy fields more than covered the financial cost of the war. There is also no shortage of valuable minerals in Afghanistan and the Yanks would’ve raided any stores gold bullion a long long time ago. The country is, was and always will be a brutal shithole. Western democracy will never be accepted nor implemented. Leave them to themselves.

    • Maxi says:

      Don’t worry Gunny the future of warfare is coming and our governments are doing nothing about it

      https://youtu.be/DK6IGG5zRU8

      • Sergeant Gunny Highway says:

        Yes indeed, it’s great technology that is already being used to take out the bad guys. That’s how they took out a couple of the planners who were responsible for the Kabul airport attack – drones loaded with facial recognition capabilities. BOOM!

        • Red Seat says:

          Gunslinger, how come that facial recognition capability didn’t notice that there were children present or are you saying it was the children the Yanks were targeting? Actually, how the fuck would you know?

          • Sergeant Gunny Highway says:

            Red Seat, the facial recognition technology did its job correctly, it identified the target and where he was and he was taken out. Dropping a bomb or firing a missile and hitting the target doesn’t prevent collateral damage, which is what the bystanders were. No technology is that accurate dipshit. In the old days a a scud missile would be used and it would take out an entire street block resulting in many more casualties. So things have improved.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Impressive! Is the technology that far advanced or is the video aspirational?
        How would they go against fine bird netting? It seems that the drone needs to smack against something solid to detonate.

  29. Scomo’s son says:

    Some interesting intel regarding one of TCC’s newest executive managers, Scott Mason. Questions have been raised as to why he, as the CEO at Central Highlands Regional Council (Emerald), would take a 50% paycut and a lower ranked position in Townsville? Well he has told people that he wanted more ‘metropolitan’ Council experience so he can go on to be CEO of a large city Council. Hence the TCC appointment. I call bullshit! In fact, rumour has it that his 5 year Emerald contract wasn’t renewed, it was only ‘extended’ until such a time that he left. In other words, he was given some time to find another job and it would appear that the TCC Director job was all that he could find.
    What did he leave behind in Emerald – debt!
    – A quarry that purchased a $13m piece of lemon equipment that never worked. And a quarry that needed around $20m needed to rehabilitate the ground. They sold Shepton quarry to Wagner’s last year for just a few pennies. The same Wagner’s that wanted to buy Emerald airport too.
    – Council has spent around $18m (all borrowed) on its airport in the past 18 months only to see passenger numbers and revenue crash. A waste of money and unnecessary new debt.
    – Mass turnover of staff. Temporary or acting managers in place, some on stress or extended leave, and a Council structure in tatters. One person described the mess that Mr Mason left behind as being akin to a war zone. In fact prior to 2018 at least 40 senior managers came and went and there was a turnover of around 100 staff.
    So there you have it. A mess left behind in Emerald by the CEO and Townsville is just a stepping stone for him towards ‘greater things’. Personally, knowing how Council operates in Townsville I think this bloke will fit right in!

    • The Magpie says:

      On first reading of this startling information, the most burning question arises: accepting what you say is correct, is this best Townsville could find? There have always been urgers and grifters from smaller centres trying – or successfully – to use TCC for their on private agendas beyond a gross pay check and limited power. If your claims are documented, there must be questions asked seeking transparency and accountability in this appointment.

      Craig?

  30. Cantankerous but happy says:

    New casino hotel is a dead duck, something is wrong with this place when even someone as wealthy as Chris Morris won’t invest his own money and has to rely on NAÏF loan, which was originally setup to fund projects normal financial institutions wouldn’t. I don’t see why a bank wouldn’t fund a hotel, something doesn’t add up here, but this is Townsville, nothing ever does.

    • The Magpie says:

      Unlike the unfortuinate avian in the famous Monty Python sketch, his duck is NOT deceased, far from it. There’s a game going on here that The ‘Pie is beaking into and will report back. The ‘Pie suspects there are multiple possibilities, and corporate/government game playing is afoot.

      • Gez says:

        It’s not a game it’s people’s livelihoods that the Qld Premier is playing with. The same Premier who continues to gaslight the state on an industrial scale by saying Palaszczuk predicts ‘2240 deaths a month’ if borders open.

        It’s obvious the hotel can’t expand on the back of gaming revenue from Townsvillians, they need visitors.

        Palaszczuk thinks her tactics will help Albo win the Federal election, and a Labor Federal government will pay loyal states like Qld. Ok if it works, but if she fails Qld will be fucked for decades. Because If Labor win all of the Federal cash is going into Victoria first, then Albo’s home state NSW.

        • The Magpie says:

          That is a truly confusing comment, or has The ‘Pie missed something. Trying to use this NAIF non-funding issue as a reason to criticise Premier Anna Joh is way off the mark, nothing to do with her or the visitation to this state and this city. NAIF is a federally administered fund, and it decided to pull the plug for reasons we are yet to learn, Morris was all ready to get work underway, so he wasn’t worried about the numbers you suggest.

          The ‘Pie can only put this down to you apparently being a loyal LNP foot soldier, who is a tad out of his/her/its depth on this one.

          • Gez says:

            No LNP foot soldier, try a former union member who lost my job because of the crazy border close open close merry go round.

            How can a bank like NAIF lend to a business with no income from interstate visitor.

            The whole state is fucked if we can’t travel around even after we got our jabs.

          • Occam’s Razor says:

            Well said. One of the few times I wholly agree with you

    • Occam’s Razor says:

      What a miserable, ignorant prig the Cantankerous fool is. There wouldn’t be a regional centre anywhere in Australia building a hotel in the midst of this COVID madness. Here’s a new flash oh bad tempered one. This debacle rests solely with your side of politics. The TCC has been very accommodating toward Mr Morris to green light this project.

  31. Pastor Scott’s travelling salvation band says:

    This plonker really has lost his marbles. How the fuck ASIO don’t consider him to be a risk is beyond me. God called him to be PM? He faith heals people that he meets, but doesn’t tell them what he is doing? He receives visions while looking at paintings of Eagles? Somebody call Nurse Ratchet and please put a straight jacket on him.

    https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/apr/26/scott-morrison-tells-christian-conference-he-was-called-to-do-gods-work-as-prime-minister

  32. Interested observer says:

    I’ve been down the NAIF path and they have very strict guidelines to adhere to, like who will repay the loan and how secure the taxpayer investment will be.
    What we saw today in the Townsville Bulletin is bullying tactics. I’m sure the owner of the Townsville casino has more than enough assets to afford the interest to borrow from a bank or other financial institution, but the low interest rate from the NAIF is first cab off the rank.
    No problems there, anything is worth a try (Cowboys so-called Centre of Excellence for example), but if this project really is as good as it sounds it will be built with or without a NAIF loan.
    But as a taxpayer I’m not buying the bully boy tactics to try to get money designed for future infrastructure like dams and renewable energy diverted to a private investor who relies on gambling to make a quid.
    But you can bet our mayor, our three State drones, the gullible TEL, and our newspaper will do all they can to push this one through.
    It’s a sad reflection on how Townsville operates at the moment.

    • The Magpie says:

      You have neatly outlined why The ‘Pie has said in an earlier comment that he is still having a beak around with this one. Will probably look at it further in the weekend blog.

    • Two-up says:

      Yes indeed they will push this project through. Why? Because the Council are lazy. Gambling is always a ‘low hanging fruit’, a guaranteed money generator particularly for State coffers. It’s a revenue extractor that comes with a high moral price as individuals, families, and communities are decimated by its side effects. The mere thought of using NAÏF for such a project is abhorrent.

      • The Magpie says:

        Interesting concept – council refuse approval for a hotel because they have a moral objection to gambling. Love to see how that flies.

  33. Alacan says:

    I caught a snippet, on the box, of The Kid in question time State Parliament yesterday

    His questioning of Anna P seemed just a little lightweight , without thrust .. not really sure how to describe it. At a fleeting glance he didn’t seem to really lay a glove on her.. as I say very fleeting observation .. but she needs to be opposed even if only due to her arrogance and overly cocky posturing

    The Kid has only one job to do .. I hope he hasn’t gone soft living down here in SEQ .. soft does not make a good thruster.. or so I’m told.

    • The Magpie says:

      Told by the missus, mate?

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      His approach seems to have worked, light or not. Anna Joh has just issued an apology and reversed her decision to freeze locals out at the expense of footballers squeezes.

      Perhaps it proves politicians don’t always have to be shouting to be effective. Something our local lot could learn from.

      • The Magpie says:

        It’s always been a question for The ‘Pie why it seems mandatory that WAGS need to accompany their partners away … even in normal times. Is it part of the coaches training manual that you play a hard game then go home, cry on the missus’s shoulder and then have a torrid session in the cot? Executives, salesmen, miners all sorts of working folks have to be apart from their families and girlfriends, it’s always been that way. What’s so special about footy players? Oh, wait … maybe this is a responsible ploy to keep those players at away venues from snorting Peruvian marching powder, rooting their best mates shiela in an airport toilet and raping the hotel staff.

        • NMD says:

          Mr Pie, that is so sexist of you. Perhaps the footballers are rooting each others ‘boyfriends’. And forget Peruvian marching powder, it’s now Kale sandwiches and herbal tea. Seriously sir, you need to become more ‘woke’.

      • Alacan says:

        As she should have BCE .. if the Kid has played a part that is a great result and Kudos 2 Kid .. didn’t see the apology from her but thanks for update

  34. Dave Sth says:

    Pie, on Mullet. All I will say is and I think I even called this was going to happen. ALP seem a protected species in Queensland, and I will leave it at that.

    However on a subject close to it and possibly a contributing factor is traffic control. Townsville needs a comprehensive examination of traffic. Like everything in the town it seems like band-aids over band aids, i.e. lets just put traffic lights in seems to be the solution to everything. Nathan st Ross River rd and Woolcock st out to Deeragun some of the busiest thoroughfares are the worst, very little synchronisation of lights so the endless stop starts.

    Close off the rat runs and remove some sets of lights that were put there decades ago in a much smaller city. It would push more traffic onto some of the larger roads which could and should be expanded to 3 lanes but with less traffic lights the traffic should flow better.

    • Colonel mustard says:

      Interesting news article. And so true. While businesses go broke, people lose jobs and people’s futures are decimated, the grubby politicians are not only get paid a huge sum, they are getting pay rises. So I agree with old mate, “all in this together” my ass. Grubs like Gerry Harvey and other big businesses have hit pay dirt with Jobkeeper payments that they have shoved in their own pockets. Things have never been so uneven.

    • The Magpie says:

      While we in Townsville have had barely any trouble with COVID – well, comparatively – The ‘Pie is 100% with the ABC caller, we are not all in this together, in any sense that we are all enduring the same hardships. But the bloke had a good say and sympathise with the presenter. it is always a tricky situation when one gets a headed caller.

  35. Achilles says:

    Just saw a caption on the ABC News, “Police shoot dead man” referring to the NZ latest nut case bloke. Begs the question why shoot a dead man, Oh! for a comma or better still a sub editor.

  36. Snowpeas says:

    Oh for 30 tax-payer funded spinners: A new look, an apology and now a new lover. What a week!

    • Snowpeas says:

      ….. forgot the extra $30,000 payrise.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Snowpeas, who gives a peking-duck who she’s bonking? She continues to pluck up and plunder the state of Qld and now it’s her turn I s’pose??

    • Jenny Craig says:

      The Qld Premiers new squeeze is a surgeon and the CE of an Obesity Clinic. Perhaps he can offer some advice and services to the more corpulent members of the Qld Government, at cut-price rates?

      Watch out trough-swillers!!!

  37. Alahazbin says:

    The Astonisher and the present crowd At TEL giving Tony Mooney credit for its inception just shows how political this organisation is. No mention of the late Richard Power who was instrumental for its early success.

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