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The Magpie

Sunday, October 24th, 2021   |   104 comments

Our Top Gun: When The US Senator Went Cruzin’ For A Bruisin’ With Lies About Australia, He Was Taken Down Faster Than Les Walker On A Saturday Night.

Republican proto-fascist slimester Senator Ted Cruz decided to join the currently fashionable pile-on about Australia’s enforcement of its successful COVID strategy. But he sure picked the wrong target … they don’t fuck around with fancy diplomacy in the Top End, and NT Chief Minister Michael Gunner delivered a swift kick to the Cruz Khyber. The Magpie reports from smack-down ringside.

Greg ‘Pizza The Hut’ Hallam calls it quits at the LGAQ, but not for him going gently into that good night of retirement … his farewell missive was one long moan, a  paean of self-pity.

Now adding to his other considerable accomplishments, the member for Mundingburra can add illiteracy. Messagebank’s billboard bugger up.

We are all told, and generally accept that we have to ‘follow the science’, but one Queensland judge seems to think he’s above all that folderol. Despite the science, he put the public in harm’s way with his release order of last Wednesday.

And a mysterious Palaszczuk announcement about a solar project needs a little light shone on it … The Magpie has his torch.

And just before we dive into this week’s morass, a reminder that a few bucks to help meet the costs of the Magpie’s Nest will be a great help handling this weekly round-up. It is an on-going shadow forever hovering over each week’s effort. The donation button is at the end of the blog.

Now onwards.

From ‘It’s Not a Race’ To A Sprint To The Finish Line

We’ve had a pretty languid existence in these parts, virtually unaffected by COVID itself, and not bearing the brunt of restrictions imposed elsewhere. But that complacency about getting vaccinated could quickly become our undoing when Queensland borders are open up again on December 17.  We’ve had it pretty good, be a shame to fuck it up now. Bentley puts it in his usual imaginative way.

Anti vax rescue

Really we have nothing to fear … except brain-dead fuckwits and the TRR – but The ‘Pie repeats himself.

Is Les Walker Looking Forward To A Night Out With Backpackers? 

It would seem so, looking at this billboard, which features a rolling message underneath the goofy visage. Boarders?

20211023_144713

But if that’s looking forward to frolic with backpackers, Les seems to be cautioning us to make sure we have a supply of condoms, with his next message (sans question mark).

20211023_144703

But all that yuk yuk yukery aside, what sort of mixed message is this from Goofy … he is clearly saying we should be ready for disaster when the ‘boarders’ are opened.  The man’s a quarter wit, but kinda appropriate from our failed ‘hydrogen champion ‘ … lot of moist hot air.

While We’re With Matters Governmental

While Mayor Mullet has been dicking around with the Eco Hub in the Scrub at Lansdown, let’s see what’s happened elsewhere in the past year or two up and down the coast. During the week, Premier Alphabet announced a $8billion (yes, that’s billion) contract to have Olympic trains built in Maryborough ( 800+ jobs for a decade at least);  then a while back, Alliance Airlines announced it was creating a multi-million dollar service centre in Rockhampton;  Twiggy Forrest teams up with the government and stumps up $115million on a major hydrogen green energy/manufacturing  deal with the Queensland Government in Gladstone; and two months ago, Canberra announced that North Queensland Water Infrastructure Authority will re-locate to Bowen – despite Townsville being the logical logistical choice. Townsville missed out on being named one of the seven places earmarked for hydrogen projects favoured by Canberra, with a lack of proper submissions being named as the reason.

And over the period this has all been going on, and indeed years prior, mayor Mullet has allowed herself to be been duchessed first by the Adani shysters, and then, in a saga running longer than Blue Hills, again duchessed by the white shoe slicksters of Magnis battery people who have done nothing substantive for their phantom battery factory at Lansdown, and have even now downgraded it into a ‘first stage’ repackaging warehouse for imported batteries. (We all know from the stadium/entertainment/convention Centre how stages work around this town.)

Bohle solar Screen Shot 2021-10-15 at 10.37.47 am

And now, some good news trumpeted by the Bulletin can safely be regarded as utter spinning bullshit. The paper as usual chose not to ask vital questions about the vagueness of the ostensibly great news that the government may build a mega solar farm … at the Bohle.  But are they? The number of carefully worded qualifiers entitles one to think this is utter fairy floss, and the paper again fails the community by just being a parrot rather than an investigator. The headline alone tells you this is a campaigning lie … if it was a definiute for Townsville, they would be even tempted to push Harvey Norman off the front page (Just kidding, Gerry, ever thought a donation, mate?)

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SOLAR CITY: New renewable hub key for NQ

Solar Farm for Bohle 6659745370b07504b9b120ccca9d7f4f

The Queensland government is working toward developing the industrial land in Bohle Plains for a renewable energy project which has been earmarked for a potential 235ha solar farm.

This will be the first time Economic Development Queensland, a government agency that delivers property development and provides specialist land use planning, will develop suitable land for renewable energy infrastructure.

While EDQ has proposed a solar farm would be ideal for the land, the project is structured in such a way that it could later be transformed back into industrial space.

Deputy Premier and State Development Minister Steven Miles said the government was proposing a precinct with a footprint about 235ha, to be developed in 2022 following a comprehensive expressions of interest process. The North Queensland Regional Plan identified potential areas suitable for new renewable energy developments, including a location in Bohle Plains.

WTF? I mean, really, WTF?  Let’s unpack that, as they say, and check those matters highlighted.

‘is working toward developing’ … not ‘developing’, but ‘working towards developing’ … a phrasing that leave slithery politicians more wriggle room than granny’s undies.

‘will develop suitable land’. What land? Again, as vague as Les Walker’s memory.

‘While EDQ has proposed a solar farm would be ideal for the land, the project is structured in such a way that it could later be transformed back into industrial space.’ What – wait … ‘transferred back’? So, wherever this is built, it’s a project with a finite life, whereas solar farms are normally permanent installations. What the bloody hell is going on, this is just so much hot cock.

‘the government was proposing a precinct with a footprint about 235ha’. Sure, but where? Here in Townsville, at Bohle Plains? No Smiley, you haven’t said so, and this whole announcement is structured for a ‘what me, I never said any such thing’ repudiation in the future

This story is blatantly designed to deceive.

And Here’s Another Question

Don’t worry about the Lansdown venture being ignored, for this gabble, why is the government suggesting buying and using land at The Bohle, when their unused Special Development Area (SDA) near the Port is standing vacant. This defies any possible logic, the SDA site is clearly a suitable choice for such a project, including that being a declared SDA, all plans and projects can be fast tracked. Unlike the Bohle site. Palaszczuk can’t argue that the area is unsuitable, because that will be news to the brightest feather in Townsville’s industrial cap, Sun Metals. These doers rather than talkers have already built a solar farm adjacent to the SDA, which will not only soon supply all their energy needs, but will eventually operate at 160%, and thus be a money spinner.

Cruz Loses Control

It seems a passing fad in the United States to paint Australia as a police state, because of the scenes of coppers and protestors clashing in Melbourne and Sydney. We’ve had ludicrous but humorously enjoyable bits of lunacy like this far right delightful dingbat , best known for her loud condemnation of George Floyd, saying he basically had it coming. She would have no noiteriety at all if she were not black. Now she’s riding to our rescue.

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This is just part of a  general pile-on about Australia’s tough but effective (ish) COVID strategy by the rabble-rousing Trump rump, but the noise will no doubt die down … or out, literally … soon enough. But there have been those here in Oz not willing to grasp the ankles and assume the position for an insertion of Republican bullshit. Chief among these was Michael Gunner, the NT’s boss cocky, who didn’t kindly to the scummy Ted Cruz smarming us as a nation and then decrying the Northern Territory’s COVID actions.

Gunner Cruz

And what a beautiful pay-off line.

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No more need be said.

The Humble ‘Pie Is Never One To Say ‘I Told You So’ But … He Told You So.

During the week, The Magpie has been buffeted by those who accuse the old bird of conspiracy theories (oh, goodness, no, you cry), especially after last week’s mention that Barnaby Joyce aka Vicki Campion made fleeting mention of nuclear power being the path to energy nirvana. The ‘Pie suggested this was the reason behind the spectacular climate change back flip by News Ltd.

Well, well, well … what did we get. First this … Sky of course being Rupert’s Aussie Fox News equivalent.

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And then, in the weekend papers across the country, Barnaby Joyce, writing under his wife’s name, chimed in with one of the Nats favourite tropes (with which btw, The Magpie agrees, just so you know).

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All as subtle as a grenade in a bowl of porridge.

The ‘Pie has been assured by trusted colleagues that Mrs Beetroot does in fact write the column, but it is surely just parroting what hubby wants to say … any independence in this matter by Ms Campion may find hubby slipping off the braces  some new younger intern.

The Great Townsville Performing Arts Centre Debate

There was a fair bit of finger pointing and huffing and puffing – admittedly much it directed at, and by, The Magpie – about this issue, as folks started to speak up for folks about this vital issue. There were accusations by a nameless person that the TPAC steering committee was a ‘faceless entity’, about which, he/she claimed,  we knew little if anything. This brought a swift response.

Simon McConnell – TPAC
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Submitted on 2021/10/22 at 6:33 pm | In reply to The Magpie.The TPAC steering committee consists of Trevor Keeling (chair) who has had a 40 year career in the arts, most recently in Arts Administration; Dr Mark Smith (ex officio member acting as secretary; Simon McConnell (rep. for the Townsville Community Music Centre); Mr Chris Dal’Osto (Australian Concerto and Vocal Competition); Mr Noel Price (Townsville Eisteddfod) and Andrew Ryder (Major ret.) (Barrier Reef Orchestra). All have had extensive experience in the arts, especially music. Note however that any or all of the reps can change as they are whoever their respective committees choose to deputise to do the job. The committee’s sole job is to handle enquiries, manage the website, Facebook page etc and to generally handle any matters concerning promotion of the TPAC concept.
I would add that the aim of all of us is not to get TPAC built but to get the performing arts facilities we need built – that is – a small theatre (about 200 seat) a medium sized theatre (say 500-600) an outdoor theatre (2000 capacity amphitheatre) and at least one venue with the right acoustics for live music and voice. We also believe that these facilities should be gathered together, that is to say built as a Performing Arts Centre as this gives us a festival and a convention facility as well.
We are happy to support any scheme that will give us the needed facilities but maintain that the TPAC concept is simply the most logical and financially affordable way of doing it. To build the individual needed venues separately would be very costly indeed and to fail to build them together quite unnecessarily misses the opportunity to create a festival venue that could attract multi-venue events.
The whole point of developing the TPAC concept (and remember it is a concept not a construction plan) was to address the performing arts facility needs of Townsville in a clear, detailed and costable form. It was hoped that this would stimulate debate and also perhaps lead to action. We welcome any amount of constructive criticism and have already revised the concept significantly in 2017 to incorporate valuable input. But the truth is that almost all feedback has been very positive indeed.

Then an informed commenter engaged in some cat and mouse about identity with The Magpie, but on consideration, his/her unpublished comments were well argued and quite literate and are worth an airing. here’s a sample.

artsaficionado
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Submitted on 2021/10/22 at 1:16 am | In reply to The Magpie.Novella IIThe whole thing is a poisoned chalice.The Federal and Local Government are never going to agree on anything.

I worry that the arts community are just being used to win LNP votes in the lead up to the federal election. My prediction is that it will get caught up in the bureaucracy and just end up as another report to add the the pile and nothing will eventuate. They will blame either the arts community for not reaching consensus (had heard whispers of this already) or TCC. Is this just another act in our political war games? Only time will tell, and I hope I’m proven wrong.

For a venue like what TPAC is calling to truly work (setting aside the question of location) you need an independent organisation managing the place or some serious cultural change within council. Cairns arts venues are council run and seems to work ok, while Brisbane Powerhouse is a council owned asset run independently, so I guess it depends on who is inside council.

Why did Riverway Arts fail? TCC were in charge weren’t they? And just look at how those recent Civic Theatre renovations turned out… Not a good track record.

TPAC group do raise an excellent point in that the Bott report had a very narrow scope.

Arts venues that are presenting houses only are predominantly activated of a nightime (Morning Melodies aside). That’s where the gallery or First Nations Cultural Centre is a good idea to boost visitation and use during the day. In terms of building a vibrant creative community it would be good for the space to be a hub and house local arts companies like Umbrella, Big Eye, AFCM and TheatreiNQ etc. There could be also be a small co-working space for independent artists (useful offering and another income stream). The interests of both community and professional practitioners need to be considered.

It’s a shame this wasn’t considered when developing the North Rail Yards. It could have been modelled off Technology Park / Carriageworks in Sydney (with an space with the right acoustics for instrumental music which Carriageworks lacks). Incorporating something like this at the breakwater site slated for a new hotel next to the Ville is another missed opportunity perhaps? That ocean-front location would be a total vibe.

Perhaps I’m not articulating the nuance of my point clearly enough…. there’s two documents you are referring to which I also looked at – the Bott Report; which from memory included bio, and the TPAC website; which doesn’t include info about the steering committee. My point is that in comparing the two, one is lacking a bio about the authors. All I was saying is that they should add some details on their website to give some indication about who they are so the lay person can compare the pair.

You also said it yourself, there is a bit of a sting to their approach. And hook, line and sinker I entered stage left also bringing some wild Scorpio energy. What we need is a calm, constructive and collaborative energy for this debate. I also quite frankly don’t want to get stuck in a conversation about an AFCM menu from days gone by.

For what it’s worth, your refusal to post my original comment has had one benefit. I’m a bit more fired up and engaged than I was before. Plus there were some good points in Novella I and it would be nice for them to see the light of day. If and when I produce my own public manifesto on the topic of arts infrastructure in Townsville, I’ll be sure to include my bio and even throw in a pretty headshot for you.

What’s the going rate for a council consultant anyway? If their staff salaries are anything to go by it seems like they might have money to burn.

At least this issue is getting some air, apart from the scripted stenography we get in the Astonisher. Keep it coming, but succinct brevity would be appreciated.

Bad Judgement Makes For A Bad Judgement

Judging the judiciary is a highly subjective activity at the best of times, especially by those with no legal training, but any act that deliberately and unnecessarily puts the public at risk should be aired.

From comments

The Magpie
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Submitted on 2021/10/17 at 6:20 pmIn Queensland, we have another glaring example that what’s good for the gander ISN’T good enough for the goose – particularly if that goose is a judge in the upper echelon’s of our court system.Every day in this state, across the nation and indeed across the world, we are harangued, chided and exhorted to ‘follow the science’, sadly a necessary persistence for the small but noisily disruptive percentage of the developmentally delayed among us. And we are told, correctly, that that small percentage pose a risk to our well being, and that of our families.And most of us do as we are advised – follow the science – by those trained and educated in specialist fields well beyond the ken of the average person.

But the most blatant ‘one rule for them, a different rule for us’ is on display in our courts every day, but no more than in the Brisbane Supreme Court a few days ago.

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Justice Paul Freeburn, QC, is a newly minted judge of the Supreme Court sitting in Brisbane. He was appointed to the bench in May this year.

And before we go into the matter at issue, The Magpie makes it clear that he does in no way suggest that Justice Freeburn is in any way mentally deficit, nor to The ‘Pie’s knowledge, displayed any emotional fragility. this bloke is no Sal Vasta. But that doesn’t make his decision-making any less dangerous and cavalier. Especially when Justice Freeburn does not think he is under any compulsion to ‘follow the science.’

This story appeared in the Courier Mail today.
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A hepatitis C positive rapist who was jailed for 16 years for an attack on a stranger will be released from jail despite a court foreshadowing that he posed “grave risks” to the community.

Richard Lawrence Robinson, 51, will be released from jail on Wednesday on a 10-year supervision order after a ruling by the Brisbane Supreme Court.
Sixteen years ago Robinson was found guilty of raping a 55-year-old woman after he broke into her Caboolture house through an upstairs window.
He threw a cloth over the woman’s face before forcing her to perform sex acts on him.
At the time of the brutal crime, Robinson had already served 12 years in jail term for the 1989 rape of another woman.

Richard Lawrence Robinson will be released from jail this week after spending 16 years behind bars.
“The February 1989 offences involved grabbing a woman, dragging her into grass, punching her in the head, hitting her on the back of the head with a piece of wood, threatening and then raping her, twice,” Justice Paul Freeburn wrote in a judgment handed down on Friday.
Ahead of his full-time release date this week, a Brisbane Supreme Court held a hearing to determine if Robinson should be kept in prison or released on a supervision order.
Psychiatrist Ness McVie gave evidence that Robinson would pose “high risk of reoffending sexually” against women if let back into the community.
“This risk would not be moderated by a supervision order as he would be likely to be extremely difficult to manage on any order due to his anti-social attitudes, his inability to engage with any treatment, his severe personality disorder, and his ongoing substance use,” Dr McVie wrote.

“If he were to reoffend sexually, this would most likely be the rape of an adult female.”
In his judgment, Justice Freeburn acknowledged Robinson posed a “grave risk” to the community.
He said the risks were heightened because there was no evidence that Robinson had shown any insight or remorse for his offending and had not engaged in any treatment.
But Justice Freeburn agreed with the expert opinions of two other psychiatrists that the risk of reoffending could be “practically managed by a supervision order”.
“A supervision order is not risk free,” Justice Freeburn said.
“However, the proposed supervision order has strict conditions. He will be subject to curfews and monitoring. He will be banned from consuming alcohol or taking drugs.”
Robinson will be subject to the strict supervision order until 2031.

The ‘science’ here is an expert opinion from a qualified psychiatrist. That two other psychiatrists were willing to take the risk to the general public is of no matter – they too clearly had reservations – the question was simply does Robinson deserve to be released into the community in any sort of arrangement? His behaviour in jail and priorly strenuously argued against release in any way, shape or form, as you yourself, Judge Freeburn, said in your perverse judgement. What an amazing and unjustified decision.

Justice Freeburn is no doubt still feeling his way after just a few months in the job, all new judges are watched closely by their peers when they take the bench, and newbies are nervous not to blot their copybook. But how can he openly declare that Robinson is a ‘grave risk’ to society, and that ‘risk was heightened because there was no evidence that Robinson had shown any insight or remorse for his offending and had not engaged in any treatment.” And even then, he granted a supervision order that he himself said was ‘not risk free’.

But that risk isn’t to you, Justice Freeburn … it is to the women – and possibly children – of the society you administer laws to protect. ‘Not risk free’, chum, will be of great comfort to the next woman this mentally deranged, serial offender bashes, terrorises and does over … if she lives to enjoy said comfort. You can only hope the victim will be of a philosophical turn of mind, and just sigh and say to the nurse, ‘Oh, well, the judge did say there was a risk … just my bad luck, I guess.’ And there is no risk to you, Justice Freeburn, if there is another victim. You will not face any sanction for this cavalier dicing with the well being of others, the safety of people you don’t even know.

Here’s the ultimate question, not that you would deign to engage with a member of the hoi polloi … why? Simply, why?

Why take the risk you freely admit exists

? How to you conclude that this man … who went to prison before for sex crimes, was released only to be re-imprisoned when viciously reoffended against a total stranger, a man who has shown no remorse or understanding of his offending – deserves his freedom more than women in the general population need your protection?

This is akin to a pilot at the end of the runway saying’ Hmmm, left engine is sputtering a bit and the right one is over-heating, but what the hell, let’s give a whirl, power up.’

The big difference is, Justice Freeburn, unlike the pilot of a crashed aircraft and his powerless passengers, you will not pay any penalty for what will be not an accident but a foreseeable, preventable event.

Greg Hallam’s Final Farewell Finger

The man notable for two matters during his tenure as CEO of the LGAQ has retired.

Hallam Screen Shot 2021-10-23 at 10.33.26 pm

Hallam, who always struck one as being as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, described an investigation into Ipswich council as a witch hunt, a hunt which ended with Paul Pisasale going to clink and several other councillors getting smacked.

ILGAQ witch-huntMG_6464

And our man threatened or actually is suing, someone who likened him to Star Wars character Jabba The Hutt. This prompted The ‘Pie to suggest that given his seemingly monthly additions of chins, he should better be called Pizza The Hut. And that it was Jabba who should sue.

Enjoying his chubby victimhood to the last, much of his final message was one of self-pity and being hard done by those – one guesses it includes The Magpie, if he was even aware – who dared question his decisions, integrity and motivations. Being a career shiny bum of little consequence, he never quite cottoned on to the idea of the reality of a high profile job. It’s one long moan but if you want, you can read it here

Now If That seems A Tad Harsh …

… it is but chicken feed to the ex-mobster President of the Untied (not a typo) States. Colin Powell died during the week, after a life of service that may have been flawed at times, but he had least the decency to recognise and apologise for some major shortcoming, including taking America into the ruinous war with Saddam Hussein without any legal evidence to do so.

But not for Trump the generous service of a decorated American soldier who collected medals and awards rather than bone spur medical certificates. Donald just didn’t like his moderate politics and said so. (RINO is an derogatory acronym for Republican In Name Only).
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Many other matters preoccupied the yanks during the week, reflected in our regular gallery.

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And Here';s One That All Politicians Should Remember

Perspective Screen Shot 2021-10-16 at 12.46.44 pm

Australia’s Answer To Greta T

Well, at least she can spell …

FBx6KzaVgAAZFxz

Bit harsh on soapy titwanks.

Finally, Medicine Can Be A right Pain In The Arse Sometimes

Best to follow the science, and not astrology.

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….

That’s the week done and gone, but your point of view is welcome in the commenters club – lot of fun, have your say.

And if you can help out with blog costs, the Donate button is below.

 

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

104 Comments

  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Thanks Pie for the reminder of the North Queensland Regional Plan . March 2020 , 146 pages of stats , commentary but as usual no project details or expenditure and still has Coralie Orourkes photo next to Treasurer Dick so basicly just words as COVID has changed nearly everything including their Tourism plans for Palm island less than 30 % vaccinated . in regards to Artiafficando North Rail Yards and possibly modelling off technology park carriage in Sydney a reminder our Council is $390 mil in debt borrowing another $70 mil this year and Townsville looks like a tip . The State Government has committed $85 mil stage 2 of the Haughton with the begging bowl is out for the other $110 mil but for some its ok to lie as the dam currently has water . Stockland and AMP wont even spend $ to develope Kingsvale shopping centre which looks like the ghetto and is State Government funding the $100k charity groups fun activities on Thursday nights instead of fixing the youth justice system and promised ankle bracelets ? .

    • Addled says:

      Mike, I have difficulty following your logic. The Ross River dam is currently at 54% capacity. If you look at the graphs the city uses about 50% of the capacity per year. So there’s at least 12 months supply available even if there is no wet season and no further rainfall at all for a year. The Haughton2 pipeline project is plump with $85m current funding. Unless you are hiding something there is no evidence the Queensland government is holding out a ‘begging bowl’ for the next tranche of money needed to finish the job. You are jousting with phantoms. Stop giving yourself nightmares.

      • Old Tradesman says:

        Addled, last week when I asked you the question you said that the $85m was to be used for studies and who knows what, sorry old mate all the studies have already been done, so why aren’t the TCC and the useless deceitful state government completing the job. Your logic holds no water as we might have 3 successive years of drought, and as an extra will whoever is using the $85m have to pay GST? The funding is no longer in the domain of the Federal government.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Addled , no nightmares here just wondering if you have every managed a large project as you said you know everything that’s in the public domain but the project is ” commercial in confidence ” . You also summised that the State + Feds $ could be for planning , securing land etc but how could there be a budget of $195 mil if this was not already done . Can you find the details of the costings for the Council for Lansdown , civil works , water , plumbing , incentives including rates right offs ? .

        • Addled says:

          Mike, you wrote: “You also summised that the State + Feds $ could be for planning , securing land etc but how could there be a budget of $195 mil if this was not already done”? Sorry old mate but I actually read it in a public document – you can do the same if you want to. TCC has published a detailed timeline which says in part:

          “Funded by a $195 million contribution from the Queensland Government, Stage 2 is a greenfield site, covering 30 kms and is completely different to stage 1. Stage 1 was predominantly built within existing easements and land corridors.
          Since the funding agreement between the Queensland Government and Council was signed, Council has undertaken significant work.”

          Which is laid out in point form, heaps of it. Look it up yourself.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        And you Addled are jousting with your hands on your private parts! The whole point of the pipeline is to give us WATER SECURITY, you self-opinionated twat.

        That means in tough times and at ANY TIME we have a reliable supply of water, to support our needs and the needs of any industries. It’s NOT taking yours, The Mullet and the Qld Labor party line of ‘but we’ve got 50% in the dam’. Go to Specsavers and get some glasses you short-sighted dinosaur!

  2. Chris Skelding says:

    Hi Pie
    In the middle section about judges, the text on the right side is missing, same problem last week.

    Keep up the good work

    Chris

  3. Sam1 says:

    The Olympic trains are to be built in Maryborough not Gladstone.

  4. Jeff Boulanger says:

    With all this Arts talk, why hasn’t someone brought up the issue of JCU having defunded and virtually shut down all Arts Study. No music, theatre condemned, no more acting, visual arts, etc.. we are a growing large city, and our Uni makes money hand over fist for the VC. So why so many cuts? Humanities are suffering too. And we blithely ignore this and continue to be the pig huntin’, racist, ignorant City of the North. Ugh.

    • The Magpie says:

      First bit a very good point.

      Second bit a tad fevered … time for a kindy nap.

      • Nickster says:

        JCU are long term gougers of the public pursue, yet nobody questions how the VC gets paid more than $975K p.a. when the uni is a Qld Government agency;

        https://documents.parliament.qld.gov.au/tableoffice/tabledpapers/2021/5721T430.pdf

        The Astonisher might be astonished if launched an RTI request for helicopter charter flights paid by JCU with the keyword “Yungaburra”, remembering these are taxpayer funds.

        • The Magpie says:

          And we all would be astonished if the Astonisher launched an RTI request for anything.

          • Nickster says:

            I live in hope that one day they do more than cut & paste media releases.

          • The Magpie says:

            You know, way back in the day, when one journo, Anthony Templeton (known in these parts as Anthony Simpleton) fired in regular RTIs to the council (Freedom of Information requests they were called then by memory) and picked up a few good yarns. But Simpleton blotted his professional copybook because his favourite position was on Jenny’s bouncing knee. But notwithstanding, his efforts make the current pack of drongos look even further away from any Woodward and Bernstein Award, the simplest, most obvious inquiry continues to elude them.

            Take the story filed by Leighton Smith around 11 last night about the overturned SUV at the Stockland intersection.

            Now The ‘Pie can guarantee the question absolutely EVERYONE would immediately ask on seeing the photograph was ‘Was it stolen?’ But Mr Smith either declined to inquire (despite learning it was packed with five occupants, a possible tell tale), or got a don’t know/or no comment, which would have been worth reporting prominently. And definitely worth reporting if it WASN’T STOLEN.

            With rare exceptions, none of the current crop of galoots think like journos (but the court reporting ain’t too bad).

          • The Magpie says:

            But at least one real journo was involved in the story. Note the attribution for the story’s second pic.

            If that’s who The ‘pie thinks it is, it’s a nostalgic a blast from the past, old ‘Pie colleague from the Bully, Bruce Rockemer. Rocky was a senior journo at the Bulletin with an invaluable store of local knowledge as well as years of professional experience. The ‘Pie is a bit hazy on this, but he seems to remember that at one stage, Rocky was seconded to head up to Innisfail to take over the paper there after the town was flattened by a cyclone (Larry?). Back then, gigs like that didn’t go to gooses, and Rocky acquitted himself as one would expect. By all reports liked and respected by all for his professional but friendly stewardship. As he always was at the Bulletin.

            A thought: christ, don’t tell us he’s still at the Bulletin!?! If he is, he should be the editor.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Didn’t know ice hockey players were into theatre

  5. Ralph says:

    Mal, I love Australian humour and this was told to me by Peter Fibber brother of Billy Liar both of Oonoonba fame and was told at Pete The Barbers, Fibber was doing a bit of strapping for a well known Townsville horse trainer and after a race which the horse he strapped lost, the trainer fronted the jockey and asked why he didn’t go through the gap, reply was, the bloody gap was going faster than this mongrel I was riding, true story, Take care Ralph.

  6. GST SHAM says:

    400m in infrastructure projects as part of the SE QLD City Deal are being held up by QLD Government. Maroochydore Convention Centre, The Mill at Moreton Bay and Wellcamp Entertainment Centre in Toowoomba. Council of Mayors (SE QLD) are all on board but QLD Government Deputy Miles claiming the good ole GST rip off. These projects have been held up by negotiations for almost two years. The Concert Hall in Townsville will never get off the ground if part of Townsville City Deal Funding and that is unfortunate. I’ve said it before the QLD Government does not want to spend $$$$ in QLD linked to city deals. They are the only projects that do not get the tick of approval in this state while federal government money is flowing for other infrastructure projects in every other QLD town.

    • Snowpeas says:

      Note Tom Tate is screaming from the same song book…..”more than $100m of Gold Coast projects are on the skids”. (Gold Coast Bulletin 25/10)

    • Addled says:

      GST Sham, why are you repeating what you said before: “the QLD Government does not want to spend $$$$ in QLD linked to city deals”? It looks like fake news. Just a month ago the Commonwealth forked out $12 million for enabling infrastructure to support the Lansdown Eco-Industrial Precinct, $2 million to fully fund a detailed business case for the proposed concert hall and $2 million for a feasibility study into the supply of re-use water for the growing green hydrogen industry in Townsville. This is CityDeal money yet there’s no suggestion that the state government is not going to spend it. WTF?

      • The Magpie says:

        Always like it when you lift the debate to new levels of soaring intelligence, Plucker.

      • Addled says:

        Plucker, why don’t I . . . . . ? Because I’m a glass-half-full kinda guy. With 53% in the tank and a wet season coming up, there’s plenty of time to build the pipeline. As your old mate Joh would have said, ‘don’t you worry about that’. Patronising prick eh?

        • Grumpy says:

          I’m certainly no expert on this, but I recall reading somewhere that, if the dam level falls below 15-18%, the water becomes too contaminated by silt etc to be used. During the dark period when we “had no water crisis” we got perilously close to this level. All it takes is another failed wet season – which apparently is not going to happen this time around.

          • Tainted says:

            The water coming out of our taps at the moment tastes like it came from the bottom of the dam already. Resorted to bottled water just to get a decent drop to drink. You’d think we could do better than what we’re getting.

          • The Magpie says:

            Not The’Pie’s experience at all, North Ward water is fine. Great ice cubes, too.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Yes, after some months of good water, which we are entitled to, again, the water in these parts has the slight aroma of creek water. Last time the excuse was excessive heat promoting algale growth in Ross Dam. Well folks, this is still spring, summer is yet to arrive. Perhaps the Ross Dam, with a maximum depth at 100% of only 12 metres deep is not fit for purpose and we need the sweet water from the Burdekin Dam.

          • Addled says:

            Dave, “Ross Dam, with a maximum depth at 100% of only 12 metres”. Reference?

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            A,

            I am not sure now where I got that figure but it has been my understand for years. Possibly my uncle who was on the TCC in the 1960s when the dam was designed and constructed. That council lost the election just before the dam was finished and the Labor councillors who got their names on the plaque had nothing to do with its construction. I digress. I do know from my uncle that the primary purpose of the dam flood mitigation, secondary purpose, opportunity water supply. The Burdekin Dam was planned at about the same time as the RRD. It was originally intended that the BFD would be Townsville’s long-term secure water source. Somewhere along the way, probably for self serving reasons, that rationale was changed and we find ourselves with water insecurity.

            Regardless of the exact depth of the RRD it is very shallow, large surface area compared to capacity, resulting in a high evaporation rate. This is why it is wasteful to pump from the BFD to the RRD. Water from the BFD must go straight to treatment then into our pipes.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            So he’s wrong is he?

          • Addled says:

            Grumpy, if you go to the “Ross River dam levels” web site with all the graphs going back to 2009 you can un-tick boxes down the bottom to isolate each year and see how the decline changes as consumption levers are pulled. 2016 and 2017 are examples of how introducing water restrictions (for example) can radically reduce consumption when you really do have a water crisis. I suspect that TCC and the QG are comfortable about the time available to build Haughton2 and are saving pennies, millions of them, while they can.

          • The Magpie says:

            But let';s remember, by their account, the hydrogen mob who plan to build one of the most water intensive industries at Lansdown clearly state they will be getting their water from the Burdekin pipeline. What happens when Townsville suffers another water shortage? Will it be a choice between Lansdown continuing to be supplied and thus keep employed the tens of millions of job we are are told the eco-park will involve, or shut down industry so Townsville residents can still get water from the pipeline?

          • Nickster says:

            To ally your fears about water at Lansdown there is no water infrastructure to the precinct. Not that anyone is asking the Mayor.

          • The Magpie says:

            Not that we’ve been told about yet. Perhaps our ‘there is no water crisis’ mayor, resenting being hauled into this issue, decided to turn (her personal) adversity into political advantage, and created Lansdown purely because she reckons sh can divert Burdekin water there, and make the industries pay through the nose for it. That would put her back in the government’s, and the ALP’s good books, enhancing a run for a senate seat.

          • NQ Gal says:

            Mayor Mullet would never get a shot at the prized 1 & 2 positions on the ALP senate ticket. Number 3 and you are scrambling for preferences. She would rather rule her Townsville kingdom that be a potential loser at 3.

          • The Magpie says:

            She’s not aiming at the third spot, she knows what you say is true.

          • Old Tradesman says:

            The third spot is going to be contested by a Ms. Andrew, Leighton Smith’s partner.

          • The Magpie says:

            yes, and that relationship was reported in the Bulletin story about Ms Andrews.

          • Addled says:

            Magpie, far from being “hauled into” the Lansdown water/industry/infrastructure issue it looks like the mayor is surfing onto the site on a wave of funding from the Queensland and Commonwealth governments. This taxpayer money, including $24m in recent weeks direct to Lansdown, will guarantee the re-election of Phil Thompson in the upcoming election and quite likely consolidate the future prospects of the Palaszczuk government regardless of the impact on the Woodstock area or the Ross River dam catchment.

          • The Magpie says:

            The reference to being dragged into it was about the mayor’s response to Jayne Arlett’s main platform of water security, and Jenny’s now infamous ‘there is no water crisis.’ She had to change her tune and accept that we needed water security after sh was rep-elected (Jayne went down in a screaming heap, mores the pity, because – in part – Townsville wasn’t read for a gay mayor.)

          • Guy says:

            Jane wanted townsville ratepayers to front up the cost of the pipeline – she was just going to get things done without worrying how we were going to afford it. I’m sure she’s a nice lady but she didn’t understand ratepayers couldn’t afford it.

            With the cost of the entire thing being around a billion all up it would be logical to assume she had plans to sell townsville water to pay for it all. Then again probably not – these devious plans are hatched by “managers”.

            Dig the city into massive debt then sell the last thing of any worth leaving the new owner to put up water costs an extra 1000 dollars a year. Don’t like that – tough, that’s private enterprise innit ?

            I started to smell this rotten plan 10 years ago.

          • The Magpie says:

            A simplistic, very one dimensional scenario which doesn’t allow for any evolution of the idea .,.. and there is no way Arlett would have been allowed to impose that sort of burden on the ratepayers.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            That’s right Guy AND ‘a wolf doesn’t change its fur’………right? :) :) :)

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            Magpie. To get reliable (raw = non-potable) water from the Haughton Pipeline would require someone to stump up for a massive pump and power upgrade at the Burdekin end but we’re not seeing that on the horizon.

            To get potable (drinking water for the humans in the factories) would require either construction of the Toonpan Treatment Plant to process water from the HP or a new pipeline and associated system upgrades to bring the urban reticulated system out there.

            Both are not projects council will be able to take out of petty cash and would probably make any private investment in the Woodstock area uneconomical. Ask the good people of Woodstock why they can’t get “town water”.

          • Zed says:

            I think the Purple Donna is heading for disaster if she thinks she’ can “make the industries pay through the nose for it”.

            The reply from industry will echo the words of Darryl Kerrigan “Tell ’em they’re dreamin” or probably more accurately “Fuck-off Jenny we’re going to Gladstone”

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            Simple answer this time. The current amd planned Haughton Pipelines are not designed to be pressurised all the time as the Mt Spec line is.

            The pumps only run when they are needed to fill the dam so Landsdumb factories won’t be getting water from the pipeline as it currently (or is planned) is designed.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            A difficult question and a series of complex answers.

            In simple terms, less water means more treatment, and more opportunity for gross contamination. Maintaining a larger volume of water increases our safety margin.

            You can imagine running the aerators to increase oxygen levels at a time when there is more mud than water in the storage.

          • cobalos says:

            And on the topic of water supply from the dam – doesn’t the council add flouride to the water? which everyone drinks. Why not add a few doses of AstraZeneca ?

      • Amanda Reen says:

        Obviously State and or Council agreement is needed for City Deal funding. If the feds want to fund something the State don’t, the State screams GST and it sits in limbo, the items you have listed as proceeding are things they are happy to have funded.

        • Addled says:

          Ms Reen, you don’t seem to appreciate that the Commonwealth can decide, on a purely political basis, whether or not it is going to subtract some percentage of a ‘grant’ from that year’s GST allocation. So, for example, the $100m for the stadium was a 100% grant whereas the proposed $195m for Haughton2 was going to precipitate a so-called ‘clawback’ of up to 80% by deducting it from the next GST allocation to Queensland. I have no idea how these calculations are made – do you?

  7. Anthony David says:

    I heard of a sewerage leak on the radio here in WA at Three Mile creek Pallarenda yesterday.

    Asked my mother who lives in Pallarenda about it and she had not heard a thing. Probably like the rest of the Townsville Residents.
    On TCC web page today dated 24th October 2021 outline of sewerage spill. Yet it was posted 8 hours ago making it approx 8am this morning 25th October 2021.
    Question is –
    Who will be undertaking the Environmental study to assess the impact of the damage?
    Also a lot of people fish for crabs in that creek, Not only that! Why? was it not News worthy yesterday when it occurred?
    Concerned for my Townsville Family.

    • Guy says:

      Its ok

      Townsville will be blowing hundreds of millions on art, convention centres and the like not unsexy things like sewer pipes.

      They should spend small amounts on lots of things rather than monolithic arts programmes.

      Looks like they’ve bitten the bullet and have started the upgrade of the sewer system on riverway drive by the ring road.

  8. Simon McConnell - TPAC says:

    Having read through all of Artsaficionado’s Novella II there are a few points I would comment on.
    He/she correctly identifies the management of new performance venues as critical. In this regard the best approach is an independent board of governance and an annual financial grant from Council to support operational costs. However, this is all academic unless we have the facility in the first place.

    Re. Riverway, it “failed” for a number of reasons. Firstly, it was a stand-alone venue, this is inherently uneconomic and results in very high operational costs. Secondly, it was a “black box” multi-use space for which there is low demand. A “black box” is not a substitute for theatres but a facility you might have in addition to the theatres you need. Thirdly, it’s essentially suburban location was disadvantageous – an inner-city location will attract the best audiences for most events and performances.

    Re. the TPAC Steering Committee: Artsaficionado should keep in mind that this committee is not the author of TPAC and, in fact, did not come into existence until some years after the TPAC concept was published. The committee’s concern is really only promotion of the project. As is prominently indicated on every TPAC image and plan sheet the design was done by Troppo Architects. It was based on a clear brief from, and subsequent collaborative design development with the four TPAC partners who are all prominent , long established Townsville performing arts organisations (between them they have operated for a total of 159 years!)

    Our theatre needs are pretty obvious when it comes to it, this is not rocket science, and the TPAC concept is hardly original given that the Civic Theatre with its site was specifically established by Council as Stage I of Townsville’s Performing Arts Centre. The problem is that Stage II scheduled for 5 years later, i.e. 1983, never happened.

    Many of the issues relating to TPAC and to performing arts facilities more generally are discussed in some detail in a very recently prepared document of supportive information which also includes a detailed and right- up- to- date costing. Artsaficionado and anyone else interested can view this document on the website at http://www.tpac.net.au

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Why am I not surprised, Even back in the eighties Townsville was not completing subsequent stages of projects and shitting itself as usual, that’s 50 years of failing to do the job properly, quite the achievement.

  9. Mike Douglas says:

    LGAQ State conference in Mackay our Mayor and how many Councillors are there ? . LGAQ retiring Ceo Greg Hallam will live on in memory mostly for ratepayers and many unviable Councils that are likely to fold as per the damming report from the Qld auditor general . One of Hallams last bits of media was about the amount of $ Councils had to pay out in compensation for potholes was “dangerous for ratepayers ” . Pity for the people and the cars that are damaged by basic maintenance that you would expect to be Councils responsibility .

  10. Sam1 says:

    Just read a story in the Astonisher on line about Townsville’s Most Influential Power Couples. Thought is was worth reading until I got to photo number 12….
    Mr and Mrs Harpic.

    • Grumpy says:

      I hear that she still holds the record for balancing the highest number of Moreton Bay Bugs on a plate in the Cowboys Corporate Box. But, seriously, a convicted druggie and Gallic creep who thought himself above Covid regulations?

  11. Wing Nuts says:

    Watching Fed Parliament question time today when Stuart Robert went to the dispatch box. He presided over the Robo-Debt disaster which was deemed illegal and cost the Govt (read taxpayer), multi-millions. Yet he’s still a Minister???

    He has a fierce set of wing nuts too, which could lead to lift-off in a strong wind and put dumbo the elephant to shame!

  12. Guy says:

    They wait for the water level to go right down before pumping water into the dam otherwise there’s a massive evaporation loss if the water is spread out over a large area.

    Ross River Dam isn’t a classic dam in the sense it’s not situated any great height above the end user and isn’t deep. A high, deep dam is better than a dam at 30m or so from sea level that’s very spread out with massive evaporation losses.

    The cheapest way is water recycling, the best expensive way is to cut out the burdekin River and canals and create a pipeline directly from BFD straight to Townsville utilising the 150m drop to sea level. You could irrigate the entire route to create productive farming land whilst supplying water to Townsville when it was needed.

  13. Achilles says:

    Will the Oz 2050 Climate management proposal to be delivered by Scomo include the abolition of “traditional smoking” ceremonies?

  14. Dmc says:

    Add Agripower to the growing list of dream weavers in Townsville. I reckon there is more chance Clive will do something before this crowd at Yabulu, they are already missing timeframes for promises with more to come.
    https://agripower.com.au/agripowers-633m-rail-project-with-qld-government/

  15. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…I think is was touched on earlier by Mr. Grumpy, but, it’s good to see the Bulletin and the leader of the amateur pack of journalists, Craig, (can’t use the word editor), continue to publish garbage!

    The latest…someone who pleaded guilty to possessing dangerous drugs, one, Dolan “The Dud” Hayes, named as a member of one of Townsville’s “most influential power couples.”

    Empower my ass!

  16. Tropical says:

    Cutie Pie

    Under Biden’s leadership there has been more deaths from Covid in 2021. Still got two months to go so he should be able to increase his record.
    Obvious to anyone with a functioning brain cell that is more than deaths in 2020.
    Remind me again who was President in 2020.
    Everything Biden touches turns pear shaped. The man is a loser.

    • The Magpie says:

      Those deaths are courtesy of bloody minded republican state governors and legislators and senators who refused to endorse or enforce measures to contain the virus and its various strains.And that Republican policy was led and virtually imposed by the person who was President when the virus first struck.

      And Biden isn’t a loser, he won the election, fair and square.

      Get help Tropical, you are redefining and reversing the original meaning of Trump Derangement Syndrome.

  17. Gladstone wannabe Mayor says:

    You suckers up there in Townsville keep missing out on all the good projects because you don’t have a team of skilful negotiators or business savvy councillors. In other words, you keep getting dudded by the duds you vote in. Start looking for decent candidates to represent your region and you might have some more business come your way. Jenny Hill is not only toxic but she is an absolute abject failure and you are all paying the price. Meanwhile we look forward to taking more projects from you in the near future.

  18. The Dark Knight says:

    An official organising committee for the 2032 Brisbane Olympics and Paralympics will be set up under proposed laws in Queensland. Today Anna Alphabet tabled the laws in state parliament to set up the organising committee for the Olympic Games (OCOG). The panel of well paid Labor mates will oversee the sports program, accommodation for athletes and officials, and cultural and sporting events such as the torch relay and opening and closing ceremonies. These Labor mates will certainly enjoy being rewarded for their loyalty to the party faithful.

  19. The Magpie says:

    Looking into it, Dave. Technology, doncha just love it.

  20. Mike Douglas says:

    Possible $79 mil blow out on a $195 mil project such as Haughton pipeline stage 2 with completion date 2024 no wonder , when questioned , Mayor Hill claimed “commercial in confidence ” with ratepayers possible holding the bag and the same Mayor wants to “go it alone ” on Lansdown (where are those costings ) ? . Our 3 local State MP,s and the Queensland Government have to take some responsibility for playing Politics and knocking back the Feds offer of $195 mil . What a facade Molachino and Stewart in their media stunt with a map showing where Haughton pipeline will go yet tenders dont even go out until 2022 . Whats the Council debt tally , $390 mil , borrowing another $70 mil this year + $79 mil for another project blow out .

    • Council woker says:

      Mike the council is really good in deep shit!! The union’s have been told to negotiate a completely new EBA and tcc wants to scrap all existing entitlements to staff. Prins needs to find savings everywhere because of what the mayor has going on in secret. What is happening in every department is that in basic terms, if you charge $1 for a service make it work for 50c. Then when they increase your rates and let’s say charge you $1.50 for the same thing you tell the staff there budget is to do the job for 40c now. Trust me it’s happened everywhere. The city is growing but the mayor wants us all to continue to work on what Townsville looked like when les tyrell was first mayor. She’s been here all the way through watching and now it’s starting to unfold. Pitty we don’t have a media organisation that exposes the corrupt conduct happening in council.

      • The Magpie says:

        Doing our best to expos stuff around here, CW but mainstream media? They’re part of the problem, not part of the solution.

        • Council worker says:

          Totally agree there. Townsville bulletin should rebrand themselves like Facebook is. I was thinking the title could be “ Unicorn daily “ I actually read the bully to see what my star sign says every day because that’s the only part of the paper that gets close to being true to it’s printing.

  21. Nickster says:

    Some comments about Stage 2 Water Pipeline

    – costs have now increased by 40%, who gets the sack, who get held accountable?

    – projects at Lansdown which need the water say they need it by 2023, yet Stage 2 not scheduled for completion until 2025.

  22. Cajun says:

    Thinking about questions that the Bully doesn’t answer in their articles, whilst reading an old September issue: does anyone know to where the Tvl CBD post office will be relocated, to make way for the Flinders Lane extension approved by the TCC?

  23. Interested observer says:

    Today’s editorial says the council has questions to answer over the pipeline cost blowout.

    The questions begs : why don’t they ask them?

    • The Magpie says:


      Yet again, no tricky questions posed to those responsible, no questions if heads will roll (and if not why not, this is surely incompetence?), no questions whether this will mean a rate rise, no questions about could these have been foreseen. In fact, not one single question, just parroting given facts – given to you by the ‘culprits’.

      And now even our favourite buffoon has talked the talk, now let see if he can walk the walk – always difficult in Ronald MacDonald clown shoes. Craig, your ingenuous statement that questions need to be asked shouldn’t be empty rhetoric … so bloody well ask them!!

      Just printing some surprising news is not investigative journalism, this was handed to you on a plate, because the mayor and her team knew it could not be hidden for long. WHICH MAKES INDEPENDENT QUESTIONS TO WHICH EVERY READER WOULD WANT ANSWERS THE INESCAPABLE DUTY OF THE PAPER THAT IS ALL FOR US.

      This is journalistic mismanagement on a grand scale … imagine if the Bulletin’s operating costs suddenly blew out (inexplicably) by 33% … you can bet the right questions and subsequent actions would arrive at the speed of light from Holt Street.

      Unexpected facts always lead on to questions about reasons and consequences, but not in your rag … this is just lazy, irresponsible reporting … sorry, make that stenography.

      So all that said, now is the moment when you roll your eyes, give a patronising chuckle and tell everyone ‘Hey, what’d I tell you, the old ranter has gone off again’ … and then carry on ignoring your dereliction of the basic principles of your chosen calling.

  24. The Magpie says:

    The boys (and girl) at The Shovel nail it again.


    Barnaby Joyce’s suggestion this week that the best way to reduce methane gasses would be to “grab a rifle and start shooting cattle,” has had unintended consequences, after it gave others within the government an idea about a different way to achieve the same goal.
    Statistics from the CSIRO show that two-thirds of agricultural methane comes from cattle and sheep, with the other third presumably coming from Barnaby Joyce. “This hasn’t been formally measured with instrumentation. However the mathematics makes sense – it’s not possible to produce that much bullshit without contributing a significant amount of greenhouse gases,” a CSIRO scientist said.

  25. The Magpie says:

    NEWS ALERT – NEWS ALERT – NEWS ALERT – NEWS ALERT

    BREAKING:

    Mark Zuckerberg buys two-thirds of the ABC.

    ‘He’ll get the rest of the logo and our name when he comes up with the $364.27 for the other third,’ an ABC spokesman told The Magpie. ‘If he wants to round it out to $400, we’ll throw in Leigh Sales, Laura Tingle and Annabel Crabb, but so far, he hasn’t shown any interest in this offer. We got the impression he was intimidated.’

  26. The Wolf of Flinders St says:

    Hey there Guy, just letting you know I washed my fur today and I’ve come up a treat. If you could let me know how I can change my fur though, I would appreciate it mate. I can then remove it and hang it out to dry. Standing by when you get a chance to respond………

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