Mayor Meathead’s Magic Trick: Disappears Up Own Arse At Media Conference

Everyone is scratching their heads, muttering ‘How the hell did he manage to do that? Amazing!!’  The ‘Pie pulls aside the green curtain of our own Wizard of Oz.

But a mightily miffed Astonisher iditor Jill Poulson huffily declares ‘We will never apologise for doing our job’.  Quite right Jill, best to save your apologies for the frequent times you’re NOT doing your job.  The ‘Pie points out a few of the week’s instances.

At the risk of repetition (heaven forfend!!) we have to revisit last week’s issue about changes to council rules for grants. One truly snide, simply impossible  requirement was highlighted in comments during the week.

Is the next state election shaping up as a Battle of the Sexes? Seems Stephen Miles waffling leadership is on the line, and seems there’s a gal gunning for him.

And heading our US gallery this week, a short scathingly funny video about why the wrong person died during the week.

Hey, big shout out of appreciation to those readers helped the Nest get over a considerable financial speed bump, greatly appreciated.  It would make this weekly read a little less stressful for The ‘Pie if we could build up a small bank against the regular costs associated with The Nest . They are costs which the old bird is never in a position to cope with alone. You might consider the ‘set and forget’ choice of a modest automatic weekly or monthly donation. Several readers have opted for this. But  however you choose, your ongoing support will be greatly appreciated.  The link is at the bottom of the blog.

Trump Lite: Mayor Meathead Goes The ‘Fake News’ Route

Slick Nick Dametto believes those who are in the public eye must answer to higher standards, and if such people fail to clear the bar, they should apologise … no, no, silly, not HIM, but those damn reporters.

Quick recap for those who’ve been on Mars for the past couple of months. Back in June, the mayor was on a sponsored pub crawl on Magnetic Island (there was a time when that alone would’ve been a story in itself) when he was involved in a ‘confrontation’ involving a member of state MP Adam Baille’s staff at Nomad’s … ( although present, Baille himself was uninvolved) By all reports it was loud and belligerent – ‘a scuffle’ one witness gasped –  and resulted in the mayor being escorted off the premises.  Witnesses complained enough that the rozzers were called in to investigate, the whole thing, which they did in their accustomed leisurely pace, until last Wednesday, they issued Dametto with an Infringement Notice for Public Nuisance, to wit disorderly behaviour in a licensed premises.  That’ll be $1036 fine, ta muchly.  No charges were laid and such a matter is not classed a criminal offence.

There was only one place that news was going to land.

The paper played it with a straight bat,  basically recording the fact of the fine and repeating some background.  They’d have enough time later to make the mayor squirm.  They thought.

But instead of some professional damage control – a stock standard “sorry ’bout that, not good enough will do better now let’s move on”  Slick Nick unwisely decided to deliberately walk into the swinging door, refusing to take any responsibility for the incident or the outcome. His response seen here was pugnacious and it was bullshit. Because while he made some telling points about the media inaccuracies of the whole saga,  it was only irrelevant and a piss-weak attempt at deflection … the bare fact is that it happened.  Certainly no acknowledgement that none of this would’ve happened if he’d kept his temper in the first place.  This goof doesn’t realise that a lot of the reporting he complained of – half rumours and sensationalised wording –  was done in an information vacuum he created himself by stonewalling – pretty close to actually lying –  to legitimate media inquiries about his side of the story.

The Streisand Effect was as swift as it was inevitable.

Another negative story and a fuming editorial accompanied the second front page in as many days. And the News Ltd octopus and the Seven network spread it far and wide.

And Maybe It Won’t – In Fact,  Shouldn’t – End There. 

The councillors, on behalf of the community which elected them , should table a motion of ‘disappointment’ at the mayor generating nationwide negative publicity about a pub crawl incident involving him and his silly unprofessional response to the subsequent fine. The motion should at least express regret that the mayor has brought further ignominy to a city already struggling with major reputational damage.

Nobody’s calling for an outright censure motion, we all just want to get on with repairing the wrongs of entrenched political hooliganism that has dogged our community for too long, but this boofheaded lack of judgement and absence of awareness surely cannot go unremarked and unrecorded around the council table.

The Bulletin’s At It Again …. Flogging False Hope 

Lighton Smith also at it again, with this half-baked twaddle.

The headlines on this story are simply a lie … we know this because Lighton Smith himself tells us he hasn’t got a clue what’s going on, especially if work has actually started on some sort substantive renovation.  It seems our journalistic Inspector Closeau got on the case when he was alerted to this small sign outside the Dimmey’s site.

For reasons known only to himself, our chubby sleuth indulged in what seems  the only exercise he gets nowadays and jumped to the  incomprehensible conclusion that the sign confirmed ‘that renovations are underway’. 

Eh?   The sign itself did no such thing, so we read on to find out the proof of this very good news. Our eagle-eyed man spotted some tradies working near the ceiling,  close enough for a couple of pics, citing this as proof that big things were afoot, but apparently didn’t even make  a casual inquiry asking what they were doing.  He also didn’t ask the council if any new agreement had been reached on the rehabilitation which has been stalled for decades. The owners of the building weren’t  saying anything either. So the more likely but less sensational explanation might be that the tradies were doing a make-safe on the area recently vacated by Chemists Warehouse.

Perhaps it never occurred to Lighton that if there was genuine move toward renovation and rehabilitation of the pivotal site, the TCC would be crowing from the rooftops and the owners would be heaping praise on themselves.

But Lighton is no stranger to this confabulist MO. Remember this?

Hey, mate, care to check with the council and give us an update on the $550m water park and ‘beach club’  featuring a 15-storey, 200 room hotel at Cluden that you so adamantly told in a couple of a front page story a year or so ago was about to ‘supercharge the local economy with hundreds of jobs’? Or how about just ringing the Cluden Turf Club and asking if the proposed purchase of the land for this project has actually been sold to the proponents yet ? As a last resort, maybe ask the two proponents – who appear to be a couple of wannabees from Home Hill – where things stand?

Seriously Leighton, you wonder why you get so much stick here in the Nest.

Does the above give you any clues?

And While We’re With The Astonisher

One of the paper’s endearing little foibles of late is repeating the same story, something we read one days bobs up again a few days later. But in the last week they’ve outdone themselves, with the same story appearing twice in the one edition, just three pages apart.

It would be more endearing if we weren’t paying for the privilege.

We know, Ms Poulson, that you won’t and shouldn’t apologise to the mayor or anyone else for, as you so indignantly put it in your editorial ‘doing our job’ . But what’s the situation when you’re NOT doing your job, like this example among regular similar cock-ups?  Do you just hope we don’t notice? Well, good luck with that, it won’t be the case while The Magpie’s cloaca is pointing to the ground.

Then There’s This Little Mystery

There seems to be some disparity about the numbers involved in the new TCC grant rules. One of the Bulletin’s more competent reporters  Andrew Mackaysmith (anyone got a spare hyphen for the poor bloke) recently told us that the council had changed the rules pertaining to council hand-outs (sorry ‘partnership grants’) quote  The updated partnership guidelines now support funding applications ranging from $5000 up to $50,000.’

But during the week, the council put out a media release inviting organisations to put their hands up for some public moola. But the top ask was suddenly half previous the previous report, to $25,000.

This is a policy that is much commented on in Townsville, so it is kinda important to know the top ask.

But then, there is also the new requirement about organisations seeking public funding will have to prove the economic worth of their event. In comments during the week, it was reported that one group proposing a buskers festival had been knocked back because they could only say visitor numbers, likely accomodation benefits and economic boost would only be ‘guesstimates’. They said this answer was the reason they failed to be considered for a requested $15,000 grant.

If this rejection is true, there is an interesting question for the council shiny bums to tell us:  what else could any projection of tourism benefits to the economy be except ‘guesstimates’.? If not, could a council spinner please tell what process is used to more accurately decide an events tourism value?  Do the grant poobahs use the TEL method – think of a nice number, publish it after an event but offer absolutely not a shred of evidence to back it up.

Or do you just have to be a mate of someone on e council viewed favourably by the grants committee?

Seems there might be many on this council who think transparency is just something used for a slide show.

Nowhere Near There Yet, So Miles To Go?

Word swirling about at the annual Labor Party knees up in Brisbane  this weekend is that a leadership challenge is in the air before the end of the year.

Steven Miles – hard to believe he’s a former Premier, even by default –  could be on the slide, not having been able to lay a glove on Crisafulli. And The ‘Pie is told that some are pushing the youth angle and are backing 33-year-old Meaghan Scanlon to take  over Labor’s poisoned chalice.

in her nine years in Parliament Ms Scanlan seems to have had more state cabinet positions than Scott Morrison had federally … the difference being of course, that she was appointed by others. not herself.

Meaghan was the Minister for Housing, Minister for Planning and Local Government and Minister for Public Works.She has also served as Minister for the Environment and Great Barrier Reef and Minister for Science and Youth Affairs as well as Assistant Minister for Tourism Industry Development. She holds several of these positions in the current shadow cabinet.

She may have been the youngest ever state Housing Minister, but even if she were elected tomorrow, she would still be way off being the youngest Queensland premier … that honour belongs to the politically unaligned Sir Robert Herbert,  the state’s very first premier in 1860, who got the top job at the bum fluff age of 28 and a bit.  But  there is a case of history repeating itself. Like David Crisafulli more than 150 years later, Herbert started out as the member  in north Queensland, for Leichhardt on the Cape  but after three years, moved to West Morton near Brisbane. Otherwise it would’ve  have been a different sort of hellish journey back then, mostly trial by water rather than by trial by potholes.

Although perhaps bum fluff is the wrong joke.

Goodbye Dolly ...

There was much to love about Dolly Parton, the singer and philanthropist, who died at age 80 from cancer during the week.  One of her most endearing traits was that she was never – in the vernacular – up herself.  That is one reason why she crossed all social boundaries and was universally loved and admired. Dolly Parton jokes were standard fair for decades, – they ran from front bar yuk yukkery about her breasts (here, The ‘Pie raises a guilty hand) to her rhinestone outfits and outlandish hairstyling.  But the very best Dolly jokes were told by Dolly herself.  She cheerfully went along with the humour, once telling an interview who had asked a sniffy question about her general appearance ‘Hey, it takes a lot of money to look this cheap’.  The ‘Pie’s favourite was her reply when asked if she resented being called a dumb blonde -“I don’t mind what they say, because I know I ain’t dumb … and I know I ain’t blonde’. 

What hurt many people was the loss of a truly good and caring person in an America that increasingly has far too few of them.  An accurate if emotional expression of this grief came from American social media commentator/comedian  Alex Pearlman, who highlighted the stark contrast of Parton’s worldwide philanthropy (especially her program of boosting kid’s literacy) with the ‘every man for himself’ ethos now dominating American society. He doesn’t hold back.  (That book mail out program he talks about also operates in Australia.)

His sentiments were echoed elsewhere.

But alas, that is unlikely, at least over the next couple of years. Trump’s deranged vanity moved closer to home recently,  when he started a pointless confrontation with Canada. But when Canada did an ‘Iran’ and openly defied this demented bully,   the Orange Abomination regressed  again into infantalisation, proposing to rename one of the Great Lakes, Lake America.  The derision was worldwide, with our own lads at The Shovel getting in one of the best licks.

One aspect of the Iran resistance is the myriad murals and billboards elegantly depicting their defiance of US. They have even installed art work statues  near the Strait of Hormuz which is supposed to show defiance to the last shot. But … umm… wouldn’t like to be the bloke standing behind the RPG rocket launcher …. he might end up the toast of Teheran. 

And on the subject of AI, The ‘Pie has often wondered why robot designers insist on making them take a sort of human form.  You’d think given the frailties of the human model, designers might come up with something more like, say,  R2-D2. Besides, as Larry in the London Telegraph points out,  human-like robots are likely to be the subject of human’s performance enhancing temptations.

……………………….

That’ll do for this week. Comments are back to their lively best, dive in fro your say, they run 24/7.