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The Magpie

Sunday, March 14th, 2021   |   214 comments

MASTERSTROKE!!! If You Think Phillip Thompson Pulled Off A Coup on The Tourist Giveaway Packages, You’re Missing The Real Story …  It Was Much, Much More Than That.

What this somewhat deceptive exercise has confirmed is that Jenny Hill now has a definite target on her back, and a very capable marksman ready with some political ammo.  This latest to-do is tangled web certainly, but this is no conspiracy theory, The Magpie will detail how this cunning plan unfolded.

Do you shudder come TCC budget time each year when rate rises are announced? Well, now you will be constantly soiling your small clothes all year round … councils now have the power for multiple running rates rises over the whole year. Ever more evidence this state is broke.

Further scuttling behind the skirting boards in Walker St, as the rodents-in-chief plan more staff changes …

Rethinking Townsville: The biggest stumbling block to our progress is not what other people think of us … it’s how we think of ourselves..

Show Ground boss Chris Condon returns fire over allegations that he is feuding with racing Queensland and the local greyhound fraternity (featured in last week’s Nest).

And how the humourless cancel culture clitoratti got their tits caught in the wringer over a clever – and supportive – ad.

Plus our regular pictorial gallery from the US.

A small pause for a message from our sponsor … which The Magpie again hopes might be you. The Magpie’s Nest will be forever free, and will not risk being compromised by accepting advertising, despite several offers. Although the weekly missive is taking up more and more hours, the sometimes onerous embedded costs don’t diminish, The ‘Pie reckons it’s worth it; in its own silly, sometimes humorous, sometimes serious way, The ‘Pie believes this blog is a community service, especially by bringing you information unlikely to be aired anywhere else. It encourages debate, and tries to offer a humorous perspective. If you think so too, you might consider joining the generous folk who have already supported the upkeep of the blog with a donation. Nothing flash is sought, just a helping hand. It will always be as appreciated as it is so often necessary. The donate button can be found at the bottom of the blog. Thank you.

Now onwards ..

Why Phillip Thompson’s Giveaway Win Is In Itself A Giveaway To The Real Game.

We’ve watched with fascination as Thompson has steadily moved into the state and local council arena, unhesitatingly taking a stance on issues that don’t directly concern him as a federal MP. For instance, local crime isn’t his beat as a Fed, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be quite about this Labor-inspired scandal in the city where he lives. And it’s safe ground for him, when he can’t be called on to pony up some dosh to remedy the situation.

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Mayor Mullet has certainly noticed the growing presence, too, worried and goaded enough to even make a school yard threat to ‘cut’ Thompson (as in ‘assault’ not ‘dismiss’) over her ‘baby’ the Landsdown Industrial estate. Metaphorical certainly, but an unmerited attack well outside the bounds of required behaviour in a putative civic leader. And it brought a swift and brutally direct response – Thompson was unequivocal when he fired back that Jenny Hill’s statement brought into question the mayor’s mental state, affected by stress, and her suitability to hold office.

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Then came the government’s holiday giveaway of subsidising half price fares to selected destinations. Which did not include Townsville and favoured neighbouring regions. Mayor Mullet and her hapless lapdogs down at Townsville Enterprise were completely blind-sided by this situation. Bentley wasn’t slow to see karma at work here.

Subs air fares small

But then Thompson grandly stepped forward and announced he was going to front Canberra about this grossly unfair situation. (The three local state MPs were flabbergasted that an elected person would dare question their leader and their party in favour of their constituents.) And then, happening all so quickly that Mayor Mullet didn’t have time to change her soiled dainties, Forceful Phil came within 24 hours  back and announces that he told ‘em right and proper in Canberra, ‘e did,  and Townsville was back on the list. And all just in time for Saturday’s Bulletin.

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Now here’s a few observations that might be hard to challenge.

The Magpie’s Canberra contact tells him that the airlines … particularly Qantas … had a big say as to what routes the government’s largesse would apply, bnecause this is really all about aviation, not tourism per se. There is speculation that Qantas was happy to over-fly Townsville, but Liberal smarties saw a different opportunity. With the possibility of a federal election in offing, a touch of battling heroism would never go astray, so they made sure Townsville wasn’t on the list – for the time being. Thompson then dutifully galloped to the rescue as instructed and voila, Townsville suddenly … and we mean suddenly … was on the list of destinations.

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Take a look at the pic with the delightful Debbie Rains (you’re lookin’ better than ever as the years slip by, m’dear.) Do not for one second think that Thompson is holding a Qantas plane as a last minute thought. And he made sure it appeared everywhere. There can be little doubt that he was thinking along the same lines as Bentley … our mayor’s call to boycott Qantas for not agreeing to tax Townsville passengers has not been forgotten by Alan Joyce’s board.

And it is worth reminding folks that no one … NO ONE … in Canberra moves with the speed that this decision to exclude the ‘ville was reversed. Normally it would be weeks, nothing normally happens in 48 hours. It was planned well in advance, and there’s little chance a political tyro like Thompson came up with the overall Mullet-muddling campaign.

The Magpie has no idea who Phil Thompson’s minders are, but they are on top of their game, and deserve a pat on the back and maybe a casual top as a memento. Maybe this one.

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But All This Flapdoodle Obscured An Essential Attitude That Must Change.

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Once again, a relatively minor transient matter has allowed to distract us from the overview we should have here in Townsville. While this selective tourist package deal was transparently unfair, it must be said that we in this city are sounding more and more like self-entitled tossers.

FACTS: We received $195million from the Feds for projects in the area … no other city had this terrific stroke of luck, no else got anything like that.

For better or worse, we got a stadium, for which the Feds kicked in $150million.That will mean an annual influx of visitors during the footy season, and for any events at other times.

We got stage one of the Burdekin pipeline, and stage 2 has been promised by the state (good luck with that).

We have the largest military base in Australia, other busy defence assets, and several lucrative contracts have just been awarded for Laverack expansions under the Singapore deal.

We also have a large and growing university campus, other universities setting up regional campuses here,  the largest public hospitals outside the SE corner, and the largest legal fraternity outside Brisbane.

We are a major commercial centre, aiming to become a manufacturing hub, there are several rock solid companies advancing solid sensible ideas (not battery scammers from the US) and we have the regional head offices of several government departments (tax is just one). So we are a diverse economy and will be first cab off the rank in the recovery stakes, no doubt a fact not lost on Canberra.

As outlined, Thompson went through the political motions of supporting the outraged tourism sector, but we are really starting to look like greedy bastards, without one single softening admission that in many ways, we’re better positioned than just about anywhere else in Australia. Tourism they say is 12% of our economy, and probably always will be, whereas in Cairns and the Whitsundays, it’s as high as 75/80%.

It’s been said before here, but attracting industry to  thjis spacious city is the real way to go, get the local economy humming again, and tourism will again become a welcome but never essential icing on the cake for the accommodation, restaurant and other service sectors. They are well supported by business even now.

But we will need strong civic leadership by people with both real life and business experience to achieve this insulation against vulnerability to various industries. To that end, Townsville Enterprise should be scrapped immediately, and the public money now wasted on Wishing Well House should go to a professional full-time lobbyist office based in the southern states … Sydney or Melbourne. Unlike the current crowd at the Dudley Do Nothings, such a lobbyist would be required to meet set KPIs, answerable to an oversight committee of successful business people with a ‘if not, why not’ mandate to ensure value.

As it is, we waste money on TEL (and The ‘Pie would love to hear from a member who has received an actual benefit for their membership), they simply sit on their duffs up here, make nice speeches to business breakfasts, give ‘absolutely super soirees, dahling’, and have the occasional jolly to the south, where their clout is nil, and their value about the same.

Cairns is a very vulnerable Tinseltown, we should and can be Muscle Town: Townsville should start focussing and behaving like the entity it really can be, the Muscle Town where business is king.

Meanwhile Down At The Hermit Kingdom On Walker Street …

…yet again, The Magpie feels ill-used and overlooked. He wasn’t even asked, although he’s been doing the job for more than a decade.

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But you, dear ratepayer, have not been overlooked.

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Put in simple terms, this is just the Queensland Government trying to get ratepayers to take the hit rather than the state having to bail out mismanaged councils. And you can bet the LGAQ’s grubby mitts are in there somewhere.

And bet you didn’t know an anonymous black person, masquerading as a current councillor, has joined the trotters at the trough.

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A Magpie mate who sent this asks if the council is so disorganised that they can’t organise a simple head shot of Fran O’Callaghan six weeks after she was elected? Or is it just a case of sour grapes by a vindictive mayor, whose personally chosen candidate was unceremoniously back-slammed by voters. Surely not!!

But Hey, Innovation Thy Name Is Townsville Council

The TCC has found a beaut money-saving way to handle pot holes. Or so our mate The Wulguru Wonder reckons.

The Wulguru Wonder
6,366 approved
101.183.133.227
Submitted on 2021/03/09 at 9:57 pmAn example of TCC’s new road repair policy.

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Apparently to save money, the new intervention level for pot hole repair is to place a ‘witches hat’ traffic cone in the pot hole. When the hole is large enough for the cone to disappear inside, a crew will be sent out to patch it.

This one is on the road in Fairfield Waters. My only question: is this a traffic cone in the pot hole or the Mullet’s mayoral hat and she has fallen in?

 

But knowing this council, come the next wet season, this will be the scene at this very same pot hole.

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Show Ground Boss Chris Condon Replies

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Following last week’s suggestion that there was a big blue between local greyhound owners and the show ground boss Chris Condon, mainly over an alleged rent rise, Mr Condon has replied to the allegations – including that he had got Racing Queensland off-side. The late receipt of the allegations from a usually reliable source did not allow The ‘Pie to get approach Mr Condon before publication.

Chris Condon 

March 8, 2021 at 3:04 pm  (Edit)

Hi Malcolm,

Thank you for the invitation to respond to the Tsv Greyhounds/Tsv Showgrounds dispute…
Firstly I want to mention that there has been no rent increase, just the normal CPI Increase as per the rental agreement & the additional day of racing has incurred a fee of $800. This agreement is something that was negotiated between Tsv Greyhounds & TPAIA, whilst I am the Secretary Manager at The Showgrounds all rent agreements go to the committee for a decision which it is then my job to deliver to the sub-lessee/tenant. The original agreement was for 10 races per night (48 meets per year), this has grown now to 12 races per night (in excess of 90 meets per year) with no lease agreement in place for the additional races/meeting.

Secondly it was brought to my attention that the Tsv Greyhounds were trialing dogs outside of the agreement terms & as a result there had been dogs injured in doing so, I simply excised the right of the TPAIA & enforced the timeframe for trialing in an attempt to reduce the risk to the animals here on site. It is my understanding that a maximum of 11 trial races can be ran before grading the track is required…I have personally witnessed this requirement be completely disregarded on several occasions with over 70 dogs being trialed some nights (avg of 2 dogs per trial) without the track being graded more than once (and at $10 per dog that’s not a bad earn for the Tsv Greyhounds)…certainly makes me question their motives for trials, is it for performance/training or an earn?
On racing nights trainers are paid $60 appearance fee & some have 12 dogs racing each night & prize money ranges from $500-$1500…all of this money is Tax Free, which make me wonder if the person who has reported this to the Magpie is possibly the leading trainer who makes a measly $720 per week tax free (hardly a hobby).

As for a dispute amongst Tsv Greyhounds & Tsv Showgrounds, this is news to me as the Tsv Greyhounds have been compliant with requirements since I imposed the restrictions (as per their agreement) , however it is my job to continue to monitor this on behalf of the TPAIA, the current President Gary Heath I believe has been doing a great job & truly hope that the committee continue to support him. I’d like to hope that the trainers, official & owners also continue to ensure the safety of their dogs each & every meet/trial here at the Townsville Showgrounds.

If QR had any concerns I have no doubt that they would have contacted me, my door is always open & I am always happy to discuss any concerns.

As for the Townsville Show…Townsville Show is the largest regional Agricultural Show in QLD & I am proud to say that TPAIA & myself have worked extremely hard to ensure it continues to be the most affordable for families to attend also. We aim to deliver an affordable family event each year & I personally feel that we have delivered this each & every year to the Townsville Community. We have a great relationship with the local volunteers & organizers, vendors, exhibitors & Showman’s Guild…something that we had to work hard to achieve to ensure that The Townsville Show continues to be a viable event in an ever struggling local NQ Community.

I would like to ask you to name your source so that I can address this directly with them to ensure that there are no grey areas between us, as it sounds like whoever has reported this to you has either been the recipient of some tall stories or enjoys twisting the truth to suit themselves.

Soap Oprah

Now The ‘Pie intended to stay well away from the unedifying and deeply depressing idiocy and hoked-up frenzy about a royal saga of absolutely no consequence. Racism in the royal family? #Wellfuckme, colour me flabbergasted. FFS Have these people not been following the quotes of Phil the Greek all these years?

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But like Oscar Wilde, The ‘Pie can resist anything except temptation, and the inventive cackling about this absurd situation has reduced the old bird to helpless shrieking laughter (silent variety).

Easily the best came from Patrick Freyne, writing in the Irish Times. His opening two pars are for the ages, and could only have been written by an Irishman.

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Patrick Freyne

“Having a monarchy next door is a little like having a neighbour who’s really into clowns and has daubed their house with clown murals, displays clown dolls in each window and has an insatiable desire to hear about and discuss clown-related news stories. More specifically, for the Irish, it’s like having a neighbour who’s really into clowns and, also, your grandfather was murdered by a clown.

Beyond this, it’s the stuff of children’s stories. Having a queen as head of state is like having a pirate or a mermaid or Ewok as head of state. What’s the logic? Bees have queens, but the queen bee lays all of the eggs in the hive. The queen of the Britons has laid just four British eggs, and one of those is the sweatless creep Prince Andrew, so it’s hardly deserving of applause.”

Do read the whole thing, it’s great writing.

And as always, Marina Hyde in the Guardian, had us by the funny bone from the outset.

Well now: a “21st-century monarchy”. As an oxymoron to run a mile from, it’s up there with “fourth-century brain surgery”.

. A lot of people will have dealt with racist family members of their own, of course – but concerns about bloodline mean so much more coming from any royal house founded on intermarriage. Even so, it feels a little late for the royals to be taking an interest in genetics. A child being a quarter African American is somewhat less of a talking point than one side of that child’s family having repeatedly bred with its cousins for half the 19th and 20th centuries.

Closer to home, ‘toonist for the SMH Cathy Wilcox cut straight through to the absurdity of it all.

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And there was the inevitable salacious ones, The craven ‘Pie thought this one a nice historical reference to a real scandal.

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Some People Should Just Burger Off

Cancel culture is as tedious as certain knee jerk reaction by those too eager to find offence before reading the fine print.

After last week’s mention of the discombobulated racist restaurant writer Yvonne Lam, who had a demented take on restaurant names, there came this from the UK …

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Yes, the tweet did say that … at least, its headline did … and without bothering to read on, the clitoratti were off and running, lambasting the burger chain for sexism and various other fashionable ‘isms. Talk about shooting yourself in your foot while it’s in your mouth. The rest of the tweet went on:

“Fine dining kitchens, food truck kitchens, award-winning kitchens, casual dining kitchens, ghost kitchens, Burger King kitchens. If there’s a professional kitchen, women belong there. 

But can you guess who’s leading those kitchens these days? Exactly. Only 24% of chef positions in America are occupied by women. Want to talk head chefs? The number drops to fewer than 7 per cent.”

And top it all off, it was revealed that to help remedy the situation the Burger King Foundation’s Helping Equalize Restaurants (HER) scholarship will grant USD 25,000 apiece to two current female employees.

But still,  the detractors said the chain should not have used a ‘sexist trope as click bait.’

The purpose of clickbait is to get people to read on, which you swizzle brained chuckleheads failed to do, but now you want to hector companies about how they should use imagination and language  to get a good message across? Fuck off,  The Magpie says a pox on all of you– but for some of you angry deadhead misandrists , that is probably a redundant curse.

But There Is Serious Question About Burgers Here In Australia

Some of you may have read or heard about the tricks food photographers employ to make their dishes look mouth-watering. Some of what you see is inedible, like shaving cream on a pav, for instance. Generally speaking, anything featuring food has been tricked up to look more than ordinarily appetising. But here is a question you may be able to answer, perhaps not parliamentary inquiry territory but we are surely entitled to know.

Look at these two stills from a Hungry Jack’s TV commercial.

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Now, BBQ grill char bars on meat is considered attractive, a mark of a healthy cooking technique. But look closely, and answer this: how did the grill char mark get onto the SIDE of the burger? Is The ‘Pie the only one to notice, and bring this disturbing question to public attention? The ‘Pie has contemplated this and can only conclude this is an error of over-enthusiasm. God knows what the substance is, because it surely isn’t a char mark? Unless the old bird is so out of the loop he hasn’t kept up with the fashion of holding the sides of the mean to the grill … and still get them perfectly in line.

Any suggestion as what is going on?

Our US Gallery Of The Week

Royalty, Republicans and ratbags … some one and all the same … featured during the week.

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And Finally …

Here’s one from The Magpie for international Women’s Day, which was celebrated or berated during the week. Country and Western royalty Loretta Lynn is still warbling long at 88, but it was her 1976 hit The Pill that will forever have this ‘coal miner’s daughter from butcher holler’ in the Clitoratti Hall of Fame. As a social comment, it signaled the times they had changed forever for a single reason.

As a social ‘get square’, this song is unsurpassed. Enjoy.

……………

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

214 Comments

  1. Molly 9 says:

    Quick comment on the burgers, purchased frozen meat patties have a ‘smoke ?flavoured’ bar painted on at manufacture, and have had same for years. Supposed to give the impression of said meat being grilled. Obviously the nozzles applying the effect were over spraying.

  2. Mike Douglas says:

    Another Great blog pie including acknowledgement Phil Thompson is prepared to highlight and call out the failings of our Council and 3 State MP,s pushing the best interests of Townsville in Canberra unlike our sycophant Team Hill Councillors . NAIF funding loans locally to JCU student accom , Airport upgrade , Ferry Terminal , Cowboys School of excellence , and projects like Gen ex Kidston and Silicone mine Greenbank are about $800 mil . Add the $20,000 Federal Home build grant explains why Townsvilles unemployment is 6.5 % lower than Qld average . Singapore defence civil works start later this year and construct in 2022 which will continue momentum as well as defence projects at Lavarack and RAAF base so there are worse regions than our own (excluding crime ) .

  3. Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

    The idea that the turbulent half-price-flight rollout was some kind of political masterstroke doesn’t bear up to examination.

    If it was a ploy, the widespread outrage leading up to the change makes it look reactive. Furthermore, are the multiple and continuing other additions to the destination list also supposed to be in aid of local MPs? Why wouldn’t you simply have a full list in the first place instead of provoking several days of anger and the appearance of botching the policy?

    The whole episode is more a case of “If you are getting run out of town, get in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade.” Kudos to Phil Thompson’s paid and unpaid (Bulletin, Magpie) spin doctors for giving the backflip the best possible excuse.

    • The Magpie says:

      With this mob of sports rorting, pork bareeling pig farmers in Canberra, has it not occurred to you that, yes, exactly … the multiple and continuing other additions to the destination list also supposed to be in aid of local MPs.

      Predictable confected outrage from a usual suspect. Seeth, baby seeth, you’ve been snookered.

      • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

        The point you were trying to make was that it was a premeditated masterstroke to support Phil Thompson. (You should change your nickname to Lapdog if you’re going to hump his leg like this. Or maybe Panda).

        The change is being reported as a backflip in today’s Bully and rightly so. Rather than making members from the tacked-on destinations look like they have pull with Canberra it makes them look weak because they cop a hiding from all and sundry in the interim. Just like Phil Thompson did!

        A strong member would have made the initial list.

        And what of all the MPs who aren’t able to get their regions added? By implication the Machiavellian government wants them to look weak for not being able to force a change. Why did the government choose to sandbag Adelaide, Darwin, Hobart, and Townsville in spasmodic footnotes but not Port Macquarie, Coffs Harbour, Mildura? If the National Party forces them onto the list today, or doesn’t, who looks strong and who looks weak, and why would you plan it to play out acrimoniously?

        Your suggestion was that the whole shambles was 3D chess isn’t the simplest explanation. Occam’s razor says we should assume this whole exercise was a fuckup and they’re scrambling to patch it.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Back to the BG laundromat Steve, watching the dryer go round, to help you refocus. :)

  4. The Abbot from Oonoonba says:

    I am still dumbfounded by the appointment of Les ‘memory blank’ Walker to the formerly prestige parliamentary position of ‘acting deputy speaker’ of the Queensland State Parliament.

  5. Geoffrey Baker says:

    Thank goodness I’m not the only person who picked up on the likelihood of a preconceived plan regarding Townsville discounted airfare farce. Although The Hon. Member for Herbert started out with good intentions, no doubt, however now he’s entered politics…
    As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

    • The Magpie says:

      point is, he delivered one way or the other, in order to highlight the fact that Jenny Hill doesn’t. Or TEL, which is trying yet again for some glory on Thompson’s coattails.

  6. One legged tap dancer says:

    Äfter last night’s 24-0 thrashing by the Penrith Panthers I suggest the Cowboys change the name of their “Centre Of Excellence”.
    Until they start playing competitive football, the “Ranch” (as the Townsville Bulletin refers to it) should be renamed “Centre of Mediocrity”.
    If they start winning a few games it could then be upgraded to “Centre Of Hope” , and finally back to “Centre Of Excellence” – if they ever reach the high standard that won NQ its first NRL grand final.
    But, due to years of woeful recruiting, the good times are at least 5 years away.
    Thats the time its going to take to be rid of all the sub-standard players and aging cast-offs from other clubs.
    The brutal truth is that the current Cowboys line-up is light years away from being competitve with the top NRL sides like Melbourne Storm, Penrith Panthers and Sydney Roosters.
    They will go okay against other strugging teams, but surely the aim every year should be to win another premiership.

    • The Magpie says:

      Someone suggested that if Anna Palaszczuk had watched the game, if she really loved Queensland, she would’ve slammed the border shut at 10pm last night.

  7. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Great blog Pie, your point about Townsville wasting it’s obvious advantages is a valid one, other than a brief time during the late Mooney and Tyrell years Townsville has failed miserably to leverage its position to grow its economy and never became the regional powerhouse everyone expected it to be. Instead lead by a pathetic failure of a Mayor and a inept state govt, Townsville has turned itself into a haven for low life’s and losers who have spread through the suburbs creating an untidy unkept shithole that no one with a sense of decency would want to move to, but this is what people voted for.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      We should get a proper Townsville Development Corporation … just a second …

      We could look down the road to Mackay where their version of TEL seems to be kicking goals and positioning the region as “like Townsville should be”. I’ve always liked the place as a sleepy cane town, but it is now actually pumping.

      In seriousness I worry about all the sprukers talking up the local economy when it is especially fragile. Our diversified industry base has always been a good thing for us but at the moment it is masking big chunks of the economy not doing anything but these stupid people are trying to say we are doing well. At a time when money is being given out to those in need why are we pushing to got into the line not to get funds. Mining creates royalties and makes GRP look good, but really does not make many jobs.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      untidy, unkempt shithole

      A great and immediate improvement would be made if the bogans simply mowed their grass.

      • Critical says:

        Dave, I’m assuming that you are referring to Townsville and if you are then you forgot to add dependent upon government grants for anything to happen and handouts for bogans and other lazy lay-abouts.

        • No More Dredging says:

          ” . . . . dependent upon government grants for anything to happen and handouts for bogans and other lazy lay-abouts.”

          Careful what you wish for, Crits. If there were no government grants or handouts, state or federal, there would be no half-finished Haughton pipeline duplication, no stadium, no first home buyers subsidy, no holiday flight subsidies, no reef trip subsidies or, from what I can gather, no cafe shed on Castle Hill. I await your condemnation of whatever bludgers and lay-abouts benefit from Phil O’Herbert’s next round of “handouts” from his $195m pork barrel.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Strewth NMD, you really know how to misconstrue an issue.

            Bogans living the intergenerational welfare lifestyle in taxpayer funded housing that they frequently destroy.

            Around the corner and on a bit from my place is a house that is now privately owned and looking good.

            Originally housing commission occupied by aborigines. The house was steadily wrecked. House rebuilt and another aboriginal family put into it. Same thing. House rebuilt and a third aboriginal family provided good accommodation. They too destroyed the house. This in about a 5 year period. This time the house was boarded up and left for 7 years, then sold off as is.

            What pisses me off big time is that there is no mutual responsibility on the part of the housing commission tenant to respect the house provided by the taxpayer.

            And they don’t mow their grass!

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Exactly my point Dave, people can’t even mow there fucking lawns, the footpaths around town are 12 inches high with weeds and look disgraceful. The real issue is the council can’t send out letters requesting people tidy their yards because their own land is a disgusting overgrown mess as well, it’s what happens when you allow classless bogans to run the joint, they set the standards, and doesn’t Townsville reflect the people we have in charge currently.

    • Dave Sth says:

      Hear hear cranky.

      This comment “Townsville has turned itself into a haven for low life’s and losers who have spread through the suburbs creating an untidy unkept shithole that no one with a sense of decency would want to move to, but this is what people voted for.”

      Pretty well much sums it up, ex tenants of my place left it in a mess, full of animal damage & excrement/rubbish and that was just the outside. Inside was a pig sty as well. Neighbours were scathing of these people. I’ll be in the city soon again regrettably due to them contesting my insistence the bond remedy that and I will still be out of pocket for. What kind of people do this, I have owned property for most of my adult life either as an investment or to live in. I have never come across a class of people that I am seeing who think they have done no wrong. Most in the past just walk away when hit with quotes exceeding the bond, not these low lifes. I really wouldn’t be surprised to be jetting up in a few months for QCAT as well.

      Trust me the city isn’t attracting quality residents at the moment and that’s just an observation on trips north from an ex resident residing elsewhere due to work that spent over 20 years here.

      • Grumpy says:

        Dave, your previous tenant didn’t happen to be the subject of a petition from fed-up neighbours, together with a complaint of assault? Two story brick on acreage?

        • Dave Sth says:

          Nope but the Lawyer I talked to to straighten out the, to speak, “wheat from the chaff” that I was being fed said there’s been a growth of property disputes going on recently in the city. Apparently due to the new blow in’s and inattentive property managers. They had a number of cases on the books and some advisory roles like me.

  8. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Just a minor fact check. Townsville has PART of the Haughton Pipeline Stage One. The project has never been completed and there is no chance that water can flow from the pipe. Let’s hope that the wet ramps up as a last gasp. The dam when I looked last on Friday was at 77% which is pretty low for this time of year so unless we get a lot more rain quickly or learn to live with rationing again we Townsburgers will be in a world of hurt.

    • ...The Magpie says:

      … again.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      My sauces tell me that Civil Plus did an outstanding job on their section of the pipe. And then had to go fix the mess made by the other contractors on the other section. But as you say, the pipeline as a whole is not complete and has no bloody pumps. So is essentially wet weather housing for critters.

    • Guy says:

      Remember me saying Townsville should recycle water and not build anymore pipelines??

      The pipeline project would cost at least a billion ( maybe more), the water would still need to be paid for, we’d need to pay for upgrading the entire sunwater system hooked into it pumps, buildings etc.

      If we had bought something like the omniprocessor system it would have cost pocket change, we’d be selling distilled water to industry or returning it to the existing water system ( you need permission to do this). Why we aren’t recycling water in the DRY tropics is anyone’s guess. If we were pumping out high quality water you’d find industry would soon follow.

      Instead of stopping this flow of a billion dollars into a pipeline ( – rarely used , plus the existing pipeline already works) someone will insist we continue blowing all this money for no real result. Great work.

      Water recycling is the cheapest, fastest way in the short term and long term to effectively manage townsville’s water problem. The answer really is that simple.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Guy, we already have two major water processing plants which can produce high quality recycled water for industry or irrigation – and with a little tweaking drinking as well if needed.

        For some reason there has never been a political will to proceed.

        • Guy says:

          What would it take to allow recycled water to be introduced back into supply ???

          • George Patton says:

            Recycled water is not feasible. At peak production Northern WTP produces 35 ML/day and Douglas 180 ML/day. Nearly all of northern water is used before it even hits Mount Louisa. If QNI was operating it wouldn’t even make Kulburn reservoir. All the Northern beaches are on septic so nothing to recycle.

            75-80% of water produced is for parks, gardens, pools, etc. So at best assuming no losses from pipes and treatment recycled water could produce 40ML/day

            Mount Saint John and Cleveland bay do not treat water to drinking water quality.
            So water would have to be pumped uphill back to the Dam for treatment each pipe would be around 20km long and difficult to construct in a urban environment. Then running pumps 24/7 would use considerable electricity.

            Alternate would require new purification plants at the cost of 100’s of millions at both sites with then shorter 5km pipe runs to the nearest elevated reservoirs along the the construction of additional reservoirs to hold the water.

            Its a lot of money for 35ML/day. Haughton stage 1 if it is finished will do 250 ML/day

            Lots of engineers have looked at this for a long time and if these projects were so cheap and viable they would have been built.

          • Russell says:

            So how much water actually goes back into the ocean, as a percentage of Townsville’s usage of treated water? Serious question.

          • XWaterWorker says:

            About 30%

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Well Guy, an actual recycling water plant would be a good start………

          • Guy says:

            I’m fairly sure it’s a lot cheaper to build a pipeline within the boundaries of Townsville than it is to spend 1 billion or more on a pipeline stretching to the burdekin AND also have to pay for that water.

            It would take centuries to break even on the pipeline being built and proposed

          • Guy says:

            The other great thing is you could recycle ALL water if needed.

            Hormones or other strange molecules can be destroyed by UV sterilisation.

          • Guy says:

            My guesses

            There are vested interests wanting to make money building this pipeline hence the push for something very expensive we don’t really need.

          • XWaterWorker says:

            Guy, listen to George Patton.

            You can’t recycle 100% bcause 70% does not even hit the Sewerage Treatment plants. It is used for irrigation- household plus other.

            All water is recycled already- God does it using the giant nuclear power plant in the sky. She takes the effluent water discharged to the sea, evaporates it, and puts it back in the dam catchment through rainfall. With no pipelines, no expensive treatment works, and no carbon emmissions from pumping.

            As George points out this has all been worked out by people with engineering degrees and considerable experience.

            What are your qualifications, Guy?

          • Guy says:

            So 30 percent being returned to the system for domestic consumption would be useful too.

            Then again – I stopped believing council statistics years ago. Especially when the Queensland treasury corporation information was made secret.

            Recycling the water and returning it to the taps would still be cheaper than a billion dollars of new pipeline ( the existing pipeline still works , is rarely used AND isn’t used until the dam has reached rock bottom – water runs into the lowest part where its used more efficiently).

            Now, the omniprocessor also handles septic tank waste like a champion – producing power and distilled water.

            My qualifications? Well just the thought we must stop blowing billions on white elephant projects.

            Google omniprocessor water treatment and see for yourself how things could be.

          • Guy says:

            Hang on

            You don’t get it

            The recycled water isn’t returned to the dam – it gets pumped to a tank and feeds into domestic supply. Pumping pristine water back into filthy dam water is pointless.

          • No More Dredging says:

            It might be a good idea to find out what the Council ALREADY does about recycling water. Wasn’t that a Young Mooney catchphrase at the Local Gov election?

          • George Patton says:

            Funding for stage 1 was 200 Million funding for stage 2 is 200 Million so I don’t know where the 1 billion costs comes from.

            But your looking at it wrong, its not just treating the recycled water that costs. Sewerage treatment plants are built near the coast for a reason it is because shit flows down hill. So once you have treated the water you still have to build a 5-10 km pipeline, pump stations and 2 new 20 ML reservoirs on either Mount Lousia or Castle hill to store the 30-40Ml per day to gravity feed into the water network.
            So the system would probably cost more to run then Haughton and only delivery 15% of the water of stage 1 and 10% of stage 2.

            You also need to consider that long term Townsville cannot build any new dams and Ross will never be upgraded again. So a Treatment plant at Toonpan with continuous supply from Haughton is our only long term solution for additional water.

  9. The Magpie says:

    Boy oh boy, is iditor Craig Warhurst in hot water … or maybe not.
    International Womens’ Day at the Brewery, a great gallery of pix in the paper … but … but … but NO MAYOR MULLET!!!

    Plenty of luminaries for her to suck up to … a senator or two, the new boss of Virgin. Airlines, even Burdekin mayor … but no Jenny. She was definitely there … one attendee described her as looking ‘disheveled’.

    Now it’s not that the photographer didn’t know her … Evan Morgan is one of the longest serving (and best) photographers on the paper. And for Jenny Hill, a man with a camera is as a worm on a hook is to a mullet … irresistible.

    It can hardly be an oversight, so it started the conspiratorial Magpie mind working on the theory that our mayor is under legal instruction not to be photographed at such social events, and NEVER with a glass in hand, before she fronts court in a couple months on her driving causing death charge.

    Wise advice, for which the general motoring public is grateful.

    • Little Rupert says:

      I think only a matter of (short term?) time before the mullet announces she will step down. It has to be coming, surely?

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        LR,
        Nope.
        From this blog some weeks I read that the Mulett’s ALP minders believe she will beat the charge, therefore the Mullet will agree therefore no need to step down. All she has to do is not to look too cock-sure of herself leading up to the trial, found not guilty, she believes, then free to continue to use the City of Townsville as her personal play thing.

        On the other hand……………………..

        • Little Rupert says:

          Isn’t ALP Qld in two distinct factions now?

          • The Magpie says:

            ‘Now’? And no, if you look at the cynical, unprincipled horse trading eventually revealed on many issues, the ALP is a precariously united 20 or so parties (factions, single issue, special interests vote-for-sale groupings etc).

            At least the Libs and Nats are, for the most part, united in their bastardy.

        • Hondaman says:

          DoK, you almost caused me to choke on my lunch with your belief of ‘not guilty’ being the verdict for our besieged Mayor. Please reconsider the wording of the charge, it all becomes pretty evident, and will be one of the greatest snow jobs in Court history if your prediction occurs.

          • The Magpie says:

            Agree. It is a matter of the degree of her culpability and the degree of her penalty that is of interest and appear the only outcome. The only ‘getting off’ for Mayor Mullet would be at home in a matrimonial farewell bounce before she heads off to join the gals at Stuart.

  10. Critical says:

    Water has been seeping from under the bitumen on the left hand turn lane from Ross River Rd into Balls Lane for weeks. TCC staff must be waiting for another burst water main and fountain to entertain the local residents and to embarrass Mullet. You can’t tell me that council staff and Councillors, your Division Liam Mooney, haven’t driven over this section of road and noticed the wet bitumen and have been reported the fault because they know nothing will happen or maybe it’s a sign that Mullet has successfully transferred her attitude of not caring about the city to residents and now residents couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it.

  11. upagumtreeperson says:

    Another great editorial Magpie. It is a pity that the old bird cannot fly down to the Astonisher and take over the role as editor-in-chief. Bring back the ‘good old days’of journos learning on the job instead of a poncy BA Journalism. I completed nine subjects towards my BA Journalism but successfully wrote for the seniors supplement for seven years which I enjoyed.
    Included were filler subjects not necessarily relating directly to journalism. Funny, I had a subject relating to relationships concerning indigenous history and culture clashing with the nasty white invaders of the past. Honestly, the first half of the semester was devoted by the lecturer to denergrading the evils of the white man in the past. I cracked the shits and all calmed down a little after that. I am white I said and I did not or know of any white people who did these things. I said I bear no guilt for the past. I did get a good pass for the subject but it shows that indigenous people get caught up with the past. Would they rather return to the bush fending for themselves. No grog, housing, cars, money or health care. Makes you wonder does it not.

  12. upagumtreeperson says:

    I missed the announcement from our Federal MP. I could not find the story on any news service except through the Magpie. However, I did discover that while it appears a good scheme, the routes are restricted to 13 plus Townsville. Eight of the locations not including Townsville are in safe or marginal Liberal or Nat seats. Makes one wonder if Libs and Nats are being rewarded. So be it. PM Morrison is no fool neither is Phillip Thompson MP for Herbert. Good bloke. Have met him. Go getter. Routes are limited to 800,000 seats at 46,000 pw from April 1 until July 31. Nice little stimulant I say. However, routes are restricted like two examples. Melbourne to Gold Coast, Brisbane to Alice. Has anyone an update to the Townsville situatuion?

    • Little Rupert says:

      None of my family, friends or clients in Sydney or Melbourne have intentions to holiday in Townsville. Cairns is on their radar.

  13. Prince Rollmop says:

    Mr fluffy bird, you said this at the beginning of your blog;
    “ Further scuttling behind the skirting boards in Walker St, as the rodents-in-chief plan more staff changes …” But there is no information contained within your blog? Did you run out of time? I’m curious to see if you have some intel on TCC that even I’m not aware of?

    • The Magpie says:

      Perhaps The ‘Pie sold the idea with a bit too much vigour in this instance, but it seems that any change of personnel in the direct vicinity of the mayor or the CEO always spells trouble for staff.

  14. Celine says:

    Regardless of the reason, Phil Thompson’s move is a masterpiece that has caught the flailing Mayor completely off guard. Her power is slipping and like with an injured animal the predators are attacking! Love it. This bloated doona wearing Labor shyster has had her day in the sun. I really hope her enemies keep picking at her carcass one bite at a time. Townsville needs, change, reform, a new leadership direction, a fresh approach to business development and an overhaul of how it will manages its future and Hill is no longer able to be relied upon to lead us.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      C,
      It would be refreshing if a credible candidate with the attributes you describe started to build a public profile sooner than later.

  15. A Miner says:

    Good job Phil – but that’s marketing 101 not politics. Pity you didn’t lay a glove on the 3 blind mice at the state election. Now that would have been something to watch.

    • The Magpie says:

      Shaming someone with correct behaviour could be construed as ‘laying a glove’ on someone, but why bother with this turgid trio, they keep giving themselves uppercuts themselves.

    • Little Rupert says:

      A Miner – if it were ‘marketing 101’ then why didn’t TEL succeed in having it changed? It was Politics, plain and simple.

  16. The Magpie says:

    ANNND THERE WE HAVE IT… the inquiry everyone has screaming for.

    Only it won’t be an ‘inquiry’, it will be a civil defamation trial, with all the trimmin’s one can expect from this looming legal buffet. And the ABC will be called upon to reveal information upon which they based Milligan’s report and claims.

    BUT BUT BUT … won’t that mean that any inquiry, if there ever is to be one, can now be at he very least deferred until after the trial, because holding it in tandem could be prejudicial. The ‘Pie could write the PM’s scripted reply to further calls for an inquiry word for word.

    Clever move by the Porter camp.

    • Clarice Starling says:

      Very clever move by ‘Team Assman’. And they will likely have this issue tied up until next year, which gives him a clear run at the Federal election later on this year. Perhaps the not-so-Christian Porter and the evangelical Scomo will say a few prayers together, speak in tongues, perform an Exorcism and then repent and confess all of their sins to the mad Monk Aboott?

  17. upagumtreeperson says:

    Re Christian Porter. He has been judged and almost condemnend by Auntie ABC. Mob of commo reds! There is no case to answer. The police have said so. A case of he said, she said. It cannot come to trial as the complainant is dead.
    I have sat on rape trials in Townsville as a citizen to determine who did what to who. Never difficult when all parties tell porkies especially after 30 odd years. It is difficult to dtermine who is actually telling the truth even under oath.
    Labor and ABC commos should get a life. Leave Christian alone as he has nothing to answer. How can the case go to court? It cannot. That is the rule of law. It seems he has been convicted before a trial. Rubbish.

    • Selene says:

      Your description of the ABC as “Commie Reds” demonstrates Einstein’s eleventh theorem of opinion relativity.

      Obviously you are right. The ABC reported allegations made against Christian Porter, reported his denials, reported the opinions of various politicians, reported statements of various second hand witnesses, reported explanations of lawyers pointing out that ministerial appointments are not usually a legal process, reported large scale popular demonstrations relating to the issues, reported a speech made by the Australian of the Year and other left wing radicals. But they outed themselves as Commie Reds (spit) when they did not state unequivocally and prominently that Christian Porter is completely exonerated, despite being a member of the liberal party.

      I have similar issues.

      The ABC reported at length on scientists’ reports of on the impacts of burning coal, reported widespread bushfires and the opinions as to their cause (climate change vs arson), reported the creation of pandemics caused by rainforest clearing to support increased living standards for increasing populations, reported the failure of the capitalist system to support lower income sections of society (Global Financial Crisis). Despite this, the ABC persists in refusing to demand that the Government be replaced by a benign people’s socialist Ruling Council appointed by the Australian Communist Party.

      Fascist bastards.

      Dirty rotten commie red, fascist Nazi bastards.

  18. upagumtreeperson says:

    Spoke recently to Phillip Thompson’s office and no details re travel available yet. Was directed to Phillip’s facebook page. I explained that this was a stroke of genius as Townsville is a centre of military, National, State and local government and a major city. Another concern is that when citizens demonstrate outside his office in Aitkenvale many stand on the footpath outside his office. OK. However, many congregate on the traffic island at the busy traffic lights opposite Myer. This is a tragedy about to happen. I said to Phillip’s PA that when demos take place PLEASE call the police and move them off that area. I would not like a major event while they demonstrate. Could the demonstrators take note as I do not want to read your names in the death notices. I mean it.

    • Russell says:

      Gummie, if they were real protesters they would be constantly walking the four pedestrian crossings and stopping traffic – just like Extinction Rebelion do. Apparently it’s legal.

  19. The Magpie says:

    Names often suit their owners. Anyone noticed this:

    harry | ˈherē |
    verb (harries, harrying, harried) [with object]
    persistently carry out attacks on (an enemy or an enemy’s territory).
    • persistently harass:

  20. The Magpie says:

    What a perfect metaphor for Townsville. Unintended brilliance on The Astonisher’s front page … council at the top, ratepayers on the bottom.

  21. The Magpie says:

    The ‘Pie is gasping for breath and howling with laughter.

    • Achilles says:

      Adds a whole new meaning to “Trooping the colour”

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      How bloody clever! I spat my coffee out. Not going to go on about the Royal family and the rodgering they got from the Royal outcasts, but bloody hell this is funny!!

  22. John Stitch non-stop dancer says:

    The powers for Councils to raise rates more than once annually is an absolute scam. Queenslanders should be in an uproar over this absolute con. Fucktard Councils who cannot balance the books now get to raid our back pockets more frequently. Why is there no outcry over this? It’s outrageous. And give me a good reason as to why? Our useless Premier and the Josh Fraudenberg keep telling us the economy is back to normal, pre-COVID status. So why the desperate gouge on us for more money?? Absolutely disgraceful assholes.

    • The Magpie says:

      And it would seem that there is less reason to call in an administrator, mif council’s like Townsville can just hit the ratepayer for their lax financial management/rorts. And keep an eye on the LGAQ in all this, Hallam’s pudgy fingerprints are sure to be on this somewhere.

  23. upagumtreeperson says:

    Cannot be true Magpie. Her Mag with a colour chart. What will she think of next, or what was she thinking. Photo shopped?

  24. George St says:

    I find these March 4 Justice protests amusing and confusing . I though the various State Governments had control and management of law and order issues , include assault and rape , Are they condemning the relevant state Police and Justice systems and accordingly protesting against our female Premier . Are they confirm her and her teams failure in managing Law and order in the State
    it reeks of a convenient political attack to help a Federal Opposition that is clueless
    Not sure how they can blame Morrison for crime in Queensland

    • The Magpie says:

      While we’re skirting the edges of this subject, in regard to language, what have today’s marches got to do with equality? In terms of English, that sounds like men should have the right to be raped as regularly as women. And one speaker … Brittany Higgins, I think … said in her Canberra speech that the ‘glass ceiling’ remains in place. This is very silly fuzzy thinking by people with a serious issue suddenly getting over-excited and reaching into an irrelevant grab bag of cliches and separate issues without thinking what they’re are saying. ‘Glass ceiling’ is a losing one in this context … just check the current corporate and public sector rosters.

      Which is a shame, because their central rage is justified … violence against women is an unforgivable stain on our society, acts committed by men who are by nature physically stronger than women, and therefore cowards.

  25. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Look out everyone, scary stuff on our door step, the PNG strain of Covid is ready to decimate the population, and if the the PNG strain doesn’t get you then the Mars and Jupiter strains are still lurking, and if they don’t get you then the strain from Uranus will pop a vein in your forehead and leave you dead on the toilet floor like Elvis, scary scary stuff.

    • The King says:

      Cantankerous, are you smoking weed bro? What an odd outburst. But I did laugh. As for Elvis, no COVID for him – dropped of a heart attack while spanking his monkey in the crapper. Much better way to go than COVID I reckon.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie thought Cankers post was one of the more inventive and clever play on words amongst a lot of the othef dross that depends on tired old American slang cliches to raise a barely interested laugh. Like spanking the monkey and crapper (which is Anglo anyway.)

        And ‘bro’, bro!

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Cbh,
      At 5.27pm I expect you are well into happy hour.
      Therefore I will kindly understand that you are full of shit.

      The issue of Covid in PNG and the threat to Australia via the Torres Strait is dangerously real and bozoes such as yourself slinging off at the matter shows a dangerous level of ignorance or stupidity.

      You will note my level of civil restraint and courtesy by not using the term, ‘ Cloth eared Galoot’ at all.

    • Achilles says:

      I am in quarantine in the Grand Chancellor in Brisbane after landing on Saturday on a flight from Manila via PNG. The plane landed at 5AM in Moresby and there was no body on duty so we all roamed around the entire airport and gathered in the departure lounge for our flight to BNE, About 30 minutes later a couple of “officials” arrived and angrily herded us back to the arrivals counter where we were treated to a Laurel and Hardy performance as they tried to crank up the security scanner BUT no Covid checks as we passed back to the departure gate.
      So Oz has a good reason for caution regarding travelers from and/or via PNG.

      • Achilles says:

        Supplementary info, Even though I was flying business class (bloody expensive) no meals/drinks/movies/touch-screen, nothing at all.
        Airports that I went through had no flyer lounges open nor any duty-free facilities. Does anyone know if I can get duty-free once I am released from quarantine?

        For St. Pats day “May you be in heaven, 1 hour before the devil finds out you’re dead”

  26. NQ Gal says:

    In a case of “look over there”, the Dick of a treasurer is berating young Phillip for not handing out the $195m yet. Well, I don’t see any work starting on the much lauded entirely state government funded Stage 2 of the pipeline either. Dick!

    • Old Tradesman says:

      NQG, I noticed some of the March4 whatever that were protesting outside Phil’s office yesterday carried a placard with ” Big Swinging Dick” plastered all over it, funny that, because that was Cameron Dick’s name in parliament behind closed doors.

  27. Old Tradesman says:

    Poor old Steve from the Belgian Jungle has an answer to everything, just one question Steve, why are you, Jenny Brown, Wendy Tubman et al not demonstrating against the proposed battery factories at Woodstock? Are you just a loud mouth?

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      Why on earth would anyone demonstrate about that except for NIMBYism? None of the abovementioned have back yards in the area, and if they did are hopefully above that anyway.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Tradie, have you been “demonstrating” about the proposed battery plant? If so, why? As far as I can see it’s just an assembly line in a big shed with trucks coming and going. Perhaps what really upsets you is the also-proposed metals refinery and chemicals plant to be co-located with the battery plant. Now that is something very different. It won’t be lefty greenies bringing about that refinery project it will be free enterprise capitalism heavily backed by all levels of Australian government. You’ll be writing to your local member, no doubt? Or holding up a placard outside their office. I’d like to see that.

      • Little Rupert says:

        NMD, I have no issue with free enterprise capitalism. But if the ‘heavily backed’ by all levels of Government means financial backing, then it’s not free enterprise capitalism. Assistance with Approvals, yes, but the problem Australia has is so called capitalists not having any money and looking for Government handouts.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      OT – while young Steve is answering that, perhaps he could add a note or two on WTF is happening when the Swinging Dick of George St demands Phil Thompson give back the money Dick threw back at him last year. If it was going to ruin QLD last year how has it become miraculously clean now?

      • NQ Gal says:

        BCE – to slightly misquote Paul Keating – never get between a state treasurer and a bucket of money. The Big Dick obviously thinks that the $195m should still be his to spend on “job creation” projects as he sees fit.

        If jobs had been the state government’s priority, they shouldn’t have shut the borders every time someone sneezed in Sydney or Melbourne.

        On another note – Happy St Patrick’s Day to all Magpie readers. May your Guinness stay cold to the last drop.

  28. The Magpie says:

    Tweet of the Week:

  29. The Magpie says:

    perhaps he was a bit too relaxed in the job?

  30. The Magpie says:

    What goes around comes around …

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Great response by the ABC. Love it!

      • The Magpie says:

        Ummm, you do realise that is satire, very clever satire?

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          Yes mate

          • The Magpie says:

            Phew, that was close, it sounded as though you thought the ABC had actually said that … maybe they should’ve.The ‘Pie takes great pride in the intelligence of his readers and allows the occasional dunderhead their say, to make us all feel just that little bit more superior.

    • Little Rupert says:

      The legal argument is that Politicians are already so lowly regarded, that it would be impossible to defame them to a lower level.

  31. The Magpie says:

    Fancy a taste of the tough-questioning, uncompromising investigative reporting the Townsville Bulletin does on our behalf – because, as they keep telling us – they’re all for us.

    Well, look no further than today’s edition of our ‘shaper of the Townsville news agenda.’

    This is a lovely little bit of bias-by-emphasis reporting, aided by ignoring a glaringly obvious question. Because Cameron Dick decrying the delay in spending the money conveniently ignores two very relevant facts: first, the $195Million is for projects still under discussion and negotiation, and he is just trying a very old tired tactic of looking good by fruitless bullying. But even more salient is the fact that his mealy-mouthed drivel is complete hypocrisy, if you look at a brief history of the issue.

    The Fed’s $195million was sitting on the table, no strings and ready to go last year for the stage 2 pipeline. But on the spurious grounds that it might affect Queensland’s GST, the state grandstanded and refused the money, saying they’d fund the $195million stage 2 themselves, thus ensuring the hundreds of jobs that would entail. And that puffed-chest announcement was made exactly back at the same time the Fed’s money was gifted to Townsville for projects to be decided by a committee led by their MP.

    So this Dick wants us to believe that Phillip Thompson and his task force are dragging their feet by not splashing the dough around with gay Labor-like abandon … YET they haven’t been able to get a sole, single-purpose, already approved project – pipeline stage 2 – underway, let alone completed, in the very same timeframe themselves?

    But there’s no show without punch, so enter stage left, hat bells a jingle and pantaloons flapping, our iditor.

    And immediately the turkey started to bluster.


    In essence, a proven fox is requesting the key to the henhouse.

    The abject, unprofessional failure of both the reporter, Caitlin Charles and Iditor Warhurst to even hint at the blatant hypocrisy here says everything we need to know … actually, already do know … about the actively damaging role this newspaper plays in the fortunes of our city.

    • No More Dredging says:

      ‘Pie, your claim is that “The Fed’s $195million was sitting on the table, no strings and ready to go last year for the stage 2 pipeline.”

      What exactly do you mean by “no strings”? As it turned out there were strings. No one, including the Magpie’s Nest, seems capable of outlining exactly what was meant when the Commonwealth indicated that the $195m would, in some part or other unspecified, be deducted from the annual GST payment to the state. In other words, some proportion of the money for Stage2, possibly all of it, would be forked out ultimately by Queensland taxpayers.

      I’m not suggesting that Cameron Dick is anything other than one but the opaque dealing about that GST matter leaves no doubt that Canberra is playing silly buggers just as well. Not that I care. The pipeline will be built before Townsville runs out of water and will possibly lie idle for years. Them’s the breaks.

      • The Magpie says:

        Whatever …. the other facts remain correct. BTW Cameron Dick has never explained in precise terms if he got his GST information from Canberra, and what the exact penalty could have been. And whatever GST downside there may have been, it surely wouldn’t have the $195million in lost GST. Talk about fiscal fools.

      • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

        To try and untangle this:

        Major projects like this attract joint State and Federal funding (usually the State puts in 20% and the Feds the remaining 80%) then the State claims full credit for delivering the project. If a local Council is involved in delivery they also claim full credit. You have to look at the little logos on the bottom of the project sign for the telltale “Funded by the Government of Australia”.

        There is a long established protocol in these COAG-based funding arrangements about how GST is treated, how funds are spent and how they are acquitted/reported.

        The funding allocated for Haughton2 was, and I admit I did not read the entire funding agreement, apparently no different to any of the other hundreds of similar project agreements. The outrage created out of thin air by the Dick of George Street and pumped into an echo chamber by our own Doona is simply made up.

        To suggest otherwise is pure patisan political maneuvering and should be treated as such.

        • The Magpie says:

          An d we’re still waiting on a start to the fully planned and approved stage 2, from a treasurer who believes the Feds are recalcitrant on multiple projects yet to be decided upon, and none of which is his fucking business..

        • No More Dredging says:

          Engineer, when you talk about “usually” you take this particular project out of the equation. Haughton Stage2 was touted as “fully funded” by the federal government. Not 80:20 as in ‘usually’ and not 100:140:10 as in the stadium. Something special happened about the funding of Haughton2 and the Queensland GST allocation and your ‘guesses’ aren’t any help at all.

          • Old Tradesman says:

            Well NMD when the Big Swinging Dick took over from the tainted Trad, he said the $195m offered by the Feds was not to his liking, so he agreed to do the hard yards all by himself, knowing full well he did not have the said funds in his empty coffers and knowing he would not have to cough up any funds as the dam is close to full, this is easily show by the fact that no progress is being discussed about how they are progressing or how they are going to pump this expensive commodity. The wool has well and truly been pulled over the fine citizens of the Ville while his Dick hand is now firmly implanted in the begging bowl while he tries to fund his Cross River Rail Project which will blow out to $15billion. So we will be drinking chlorinated water for a long time.

          • Old Tradesman says:

            I forgot to mention one thing NMD, remember when Tsarina Anna was asked about the GST rate? Well if you also remember she said the rate was variable. The State coffers are in good hands.

          • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

            Yawn! Are you still talking?

            “Usually” 80:20. Sometimes 100% – do at least try to keep up.

            The funding mix does not change the GST calculation – not if we are all in the same country and working under the same tax system (although you seem to be in orbit around another planet entirely – perhaps orbiting the Shriveled Dick).

            “Guess” because I am seeking to downplay my detailed knowledge of the situation.

            If I had realised we were going back to school-boy debating I would have brought some “whitty retorts” to fire back at you.

            As it is I’ll settle for just reminding everyone that you are a sad little ALP plant who is probably peering over your cubicle top at Steve of Belgian Gardens while waiting patiently for knock-off time in whichever State MPs office you work from.

            There, I feel much better.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Engine, congratulations on your high assessment of yourself but you haven’t shown us anything. Back up there you claimed: “The funding allocated for Haughton2 was, and I admit I did not read the entire funding agreement, apparently no different to any of the other hundreds of similar project agreements.”

            So take us through the process which you think is so “apparent”. What was the exact GST matter raised by Dick? You say it’s obvious, I admit I can’t see a thing. What would have been the effect on Queensland’s GST allocation if Dick had taken the money? And how does this arrangement compare with the stadium funding.? Were the same strings attached then or is Haughton2 funding in a category of its own?

          • The Magpie says:

            Umm, Dredger, mate, you’re talking to yourself. The ‘Pie’s approval page says you’re replying to No More Dredging. Not really a small point, because your comment can then – not always – be separated from the thread your in, and it is incomprehensible as part of a conversation. That means The ‘Pie has to dick around and make sure it appears in the relevant place. Just a bit of housekeeping for everyone, ensure to include to whom you’re replying to by making sure you’re replying to the comment you address.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, I’m talking to myself because on my computer this is the last place in this thread where a ‘reply’ button is available. The next five comments, including your own, have no ‘reply’ button at the bottom.

          • The Magpie says:

            The mysteries of web world, eh?> But your contributions seem to be finding a home.

  32. Astonished says:

    The Townsville Bulletin editor is either a complete fool, or he is in on the Landsdown con.
    I sent him an email last week asking why he and his reporter hadn’t checked to see if there was sufficient space for all the proposed projects to be accommodated at the existing Stuart industrial precinct. Also asked why his reporter hadn’t bothered to check the financial credentials of some of the companies that are proposing these projects, in particular the battery factory.
    Didn’t receive an answer.
    Could he have been too busy meeting with Cameron Dick and Jenny Hill to work out what spin they wanted to put on their grab for taxpayers money?
    But if you read the comments on the Dick story in the Townsville Bulletin’s online edition, you’ll see that the public isn’t buying their bullshit.
    I’m backing Phillip Thompson to stand his ground and allocate the $190 million to projects that benefit we the taxpayers – not private companies looking for a free ride.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Asty, it looks like the first $2m went to the Council cafe/shed on Castle Hill. Is that the sort of “benefit to taxpayers” you had in mind?

  33. Peppa Pig says:

    Something that may be of interest to you Pie, seems the LGAQ are looking for a new Jabba?

    https://www.seek.com.au/job/51784399?type=standout#searchRequestToken=6303717a-84a4-439d-a7d2-2db333261a71

    • The Magpie says:

      Maybe he’ll move on to board position and maybe Mayor Mullet will get the gig when she gets out.

      • Little Rupert says:

        Job Criteria is probably the same as a pirate position on Blackbeard’s boat.

        • The Magpie says:

          My information is that some of the big players in the media have their eye on the LGAQ and on Pizza The Hutt Hallam – remember him, the bloke who described the inquiry in Ipswich council a witch hunt, and then had to wipe the egg of his face when Logan came along … and a few others. Senator Malcolm Roberts call for an inquiry into pricing practices and Local Buy will sooner or later have to be heeded, and let’s not forget the LGAQ insurance arm as well.

  34. Astonished says:

    OMG. Now I’m really astonished.
    Went online again a few minutes ago to see if there were any new comments on the Townsville Bulletin’s Cameron Dick story.
    Surprise, surprise, it had disappeared.
    Plently of space for the Best cake makers in Townsville and Vote for Townsville’s favourite pet, but no room for the Landsdown story.
    I figured this might happen (on past form, you know) so I earlier copied the comments.
    Here they are:

    “Pending Deleted
    2 hours ago
    (Edited)
    The Feds will spend very little until the spat between Madam Mayor and Phil the Fed is sorted out . Game on here in Townsville. Madam Mayor floundering, well out of her depth. Any wagers on a winner ? Half price airfares gives us a clue.
    Kay
    3 hours ago
    The Queensland Govt is very good at spending other people’s money.
    Mr Dick should concentrate on giving Townsville the funds to finish the pipeline to nowhere. You know, the one he knocked back $190 million in Federal Govt funding for.
    As for Jenny Hill, why should we taxpayers finance her “pet” projects.
    Terry Who
    6 hours ago
    Finish the pipeline would be one great way to spend the money.
    dino
    5 hours ago
    The pipeline to where?
    Lee
    7 hours ago
    Do not give any money to these ALP wastrels.
    Geoffrey
    7 hours ago
    Dick wants the money for the Labor slush fund and to dole out bonus payments to public servants for zero achievements to ensure votes in the Southeast. Hold that money Phil and oversee ANY expenditure of it personally.
    Joanne
    8 hours ago
    Maybe the feds could spend $195m to massively increase the capacity of youth detention centres and jails in the North?
    Glenn
    9 hours ago
    Mr Dick how about funding solutions to crime, you clearly have no idea how to administer Qld tax payers money! From my understanding the state is broke!
    ken
    9 hours ago
    no way then they will fund the pipe line with it
    David
    13 hours ago
    Give them the money they will just employ more public servants
    Nathan
    18 hours ago
    Steady on – it’ll get spent when the election is called (or soon thereafter)!””

    I’m now betting the story will reappear tomorrow with the comments above replaced with some supporting the Dick’s demands.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well done, Astonioshed, and a lesson for others who get frustrated when things disappear … take a screen shot or just copy and paste … if nothing untoward occurs, simply delete no harm done.

    • NQ Gal says:

      Astonished – you are entirely correct. One TTE printed and it was from “Steve, Belgian Gardens”. We all know which side is he on!

  35. Critical says:

    The Cairns Regional Cairns appoints new CEO with local government expertise and a range of other leadership and relevant experience unlike TCC which appoints CEO for political reasons. Just another example of why TCC and Mayor Mullet have become a laughing topic in Townsville and elsewhere.

    https://www.cairnslocalnews.com.au/business/cairns-regional-council-appoints-new-ceo

    • Matador says:

      And in true #metoo style a woman has been appointed the job. Jobs for males are becoming a thing of the past. Unless you are gender neutral or part of the LGQBT movement, indigenous or have some mental affliction, you don’t qualify for the position. The worlds gone fucking mad.
      Anyway, good luck to her, it’s going to be interesting coming from Brisbane and then working a backwards place like Cairns who is 20 years behind the times. Which isn’t too bad considering Townsville is 30 years behind the times thanks to people like the Mullet, Ralston and their moronic cohort.

      • The Magpie says:

        Boy, you sure have been ‘snake bit’, as Texans call serial losers, seems some cow or two gored your arse well and truly, me old moronic matador. Dismissing someone’s track record and achievements purely on the basis of what’s between their legs rather than what’s between their ears says everything about you and nothing about Ms Holgate. You diminish the reality of the rest of your comment with this childish pap.

        • Russell says:

          It’s kind of interesting though, Malcolm, that more and more females are the best qualified for the job – especially management roles in in Government and Semi-Government Organisations. I couldn’t quickly find your exact comment, but even you recently stated that the Glass Ceiling is now a myth. I think I remember you referring to representation on boards or something similar.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        M,
        Are you suggesting that a black, one legged, lesbian, Muslim has the greatest chance of employment?

      • Contributor says:

        Hey me old misogynist Matador; you’re 10 years out of date. The first female CEO at Cairns was appointed back then, and prior to that had been the CEO at Thuringowa for some 10 years. Those pesky women eh!

      • No More Dredging says:

        Matador, you might see something in this article published in The Conversation today:

        https://theconversation.com/sexism-harassment-bullying-just-like-federal-mps-women-standing-for-local-government-cop-it-all-157396

        • The Magpie says:

          Not sure how that sort of harassment can be stopped and was interested to note that journalists were among those accused of derogatory comments.
          Just so you know, The Magpie’s editorial policy (sounds grand, don’t it?) is that he will criticise, comment and lampoon the public activities of ANYONE in public life.

        • Matador says:

          Great article, but who cares. The fact that these women are whinging and moaning proves they are out of their league. Plenty of men get bullied and shafted out of their jobs too. They just don’t sook about it like the ‘all women movement do’. Sorry, there is no equality – god created Adam and then created woman from Adams rib. Me. First, women second. It’s always been that way and it always will be that way.

          • The Magpie says:

            Ah, thank heavens, now we know for sure that you are attempting satire, and are not the deeply disturbed individual you paint yourself. Har har hardy har maybe, but pretty poor attempt at cutting edge humour (take that from someone who fails in that arena on a weekly basis). But boy, what a relief to know we don’t actually have the gross, base, vile caricature created by your pen actually walking among us.

  36. Pastor Scott says:

    So Morrison, the pathetic weak carcass that he is, is hiding in the lodge at the moment, working from there, so he doesn’t have to be confronted by media, protestors and the like. What a gutless worm our Hillsong loving god fearing PM is.
    – This turd is providing protection of ministers and bureaucrats over sexual assaults.
    – This turd is ending Jobkeeper against the advice of financial groups, the reserve bank and economists.
    – This turd has fucked up the handling of COVID for the past year, and the vaccination rollout.
    – This turd has presided over branch stackers, rorters, incompetents and systers.
    – This turd has allowed China to kick our asses through our mouths and badly damage our export economy.
    What a fucking disaster. This twat and his conga line of misfits such as Reynolds, Fraudenberg and Adolph Dutton are a lamentable embarrassment. Be gone with this filth…..

  37. Moment says:

    No, It’s Kevin here !

  38. Russell says:

    Reply to Magpie March 18 2021 at 9:49 pm (There’s no Reply button on my screen, Malcolm)
    Ergo, ‘Pie, it’s time to stop positive discrimination. This was introduced a long time ago now to right the perceived wrong of females and members of minority groups being under-represented in the workforce. Whose perception that was I don’t remember, sorry.
    I know that the Professional Organisation to which I belong is still actively pursuing females, as far as I can see just to make up the numbers – again to right some sort of perceived wrong. I’m also sure this is happening within all levels of Government and the woke Boards of numerous Organisations large and small.
    I’m all for not getting in the way of women (or anyone really) who want to get ahead. Just against the philosophy that somehow society is sexist, racist, other-ist if we don’t ensure every minority group and gender are represented in the workforce in proportion to their numbers in the population.

    • Cappuccino in hand says:

      You just don’t get it do you? Using the classic patronising white male baby-boomer line “I’m all for not getting in the way .. “ when you have probably spent your entire life getting in the way and not actively encouraging women to participate in whatever male dominated domain you happen to inhabit.

      Get out of the way and let others who really do care encourage women to use their skills in whatever career or activity they care for. The world will be a MUCH better place.

      • Russell says:

        Thanks for the reply Cappaccino, but I can promise you I have never “gotten in the way”, despite being a white baby boomer. Unless just having a job is “getting in the way” of course. Enjoy your coffee, won’t you, because with that attitude you certainly won’t enjoy your life!

      • Grumpy says:

        If they are competing for the same job as me, fuck ‘em, they’re on their own.

      • NQ Gal says:

        Cappuccino – when a not quite middle aged white man is basically told that he is the wrong gender/colour/sexual persuasion to even get an interview for any jobs at the same level or higher, it is sad indication that things have swung too far the other way.

        • The Magpie says:

          Indeed, precisely how The ‘Pie felt when he didn’t even get a reply let alone an interview when he applied for TCC CEO.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Love to have seen your application form. And your references.

          • The Magpie says:

            Just sent in 10 years worth of Magpie Nest blogs, and a demand for a decade’s back pay of consultancy fees.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            I put in a reference for you Pie, that might be your problem.

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, that’s karma for ya, mate. It’s like anyone who gets favourable mention in this blog usually gets a ‘please explain’ from management.

    • Dave Sth says:

      My bit. Best person for the job regardless of race, gender, creed or whatever. My experience is good intentions have already morphed into the rush to appoint second or third or in some cases last best in some sort of virtue signalling exercise. It won’t end well and in my experience is already causing resentment.

      • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

        Oh gosh, making things more equal is causing resentment, you say? As the saying goes “When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”

        Now imagine the resentment that talented women and minorities have felt watching mediocre white men get promoted for centuries based on being in the right golf foursome.

        • The Magpie says:

          On the surface, that may be a valid but highly arguable point (it’s an untested proposition that – by implication – all male appointments were mediocre and even if times were more enlightened, that there were women of better calibre) but the whole premise is nonsense. There has been a period of weighting the scales in the issue of gender equality, but has it never occurred to the Clitoratti that men are now behaving particularly badly because you’ve scared the bejesus out of them and they realise the jig is up? Bully, bluster and ultimately threats or actual physical and sexual violence is the only rearguard action left to the inadequate.

          Given that’s the situation, appointments, selections and positions should be filled on merit, not gender … a second or third class pick affects all of society and its well being. Just look at Townsville, FFS.

          • The Magpie says:

            Here’s something a bit off-point (never stopped The ‘Pie before) but one of his favourite comebacks to a heckler came from noted American feminist Betty Friedan. Speaking at a Florida rally in the 60s or 70s, an era when both swearing and homosexuality were taboo subjects at public gatherings, she was interjected by a Good Ol’ Boy, who hollered ‘Are you a ferking les-be-an?” Friedan paused a moment, looked the guy up and down and said over a hushed audience ‘Well, if you’re the alternative, I guess I am.’

            Another of many of Friedan’s sharp observations in her seminal work The Feminine Mystique: Men are not the enemy, but the fellow victims

  39. The Magpie says:

    RUNNING SCARED?
    Has Phillip Thompson got the state Labor government rattled? You betcha, if Aaron Harper’s disgraceful give-away performance last night is any yardstick.

    The occasion was the (poorly attended) Legal affairs & Safety Committee re Youth Justice Townsville hearing. The ‘Pie’s informant was there.

    “Aaron Harper sat in on the committee. Of all of the committee members he was the ONLY one who took an inquisitorial approach to the witnesses appearing before the committee. Usually in the form of questions to the witnesses about this or that piece of legislation, or wonderful government sponsored community programs in an attempt to show up the witnesses as ignorant. He seemed defensive.

    At the end of witnesses appearing, Harper was given permission to address the committee. The usual stuff, “I’m a member of this community too etc etc etc.” THEN he attacks Phillip Thompson for not doing anything about crime in Townsville. Committee members and attendees alike were looking at each other in disbelief. When a committee member tried to remind Harper that everything discussed at the hearing was a State matter, Harper raised his voice somewhat to talk over that committee member.

    The chairman had to call for order twice stating, “Up until now things have been orderly.” He actually had to say it twice.

    Aaron Harper is a clown and a disgrace. Further, Aaron Harper does not know that he is a clown and a disgrace.”

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      As my dear but departed mother used to say, “you just cannot fix stupid, you can just avoid it”

      • The Magpie says:

        Unfortunately, all due respect to your mum, but it isn’t always possible to avoid it. Stupidity is a specialist in ambush.

        • Matador says:

          Poor old Harpic. He certainly seems to be cracking under the pressure. What pressure you ask? The pressure to remain out of the spotlight and hide in his office, sitting on his fat ass, and doing nothing for his taxpayer funded lifestyle. Phil T has shone a spotlight and the local Members don’t like it because they are shown up for who they really are – useless, oxygen wasting, blabbering maggots.

          ‘Phil Thompson – Making Townsville Great Again’.

        • Achilles says:

          My Granddad used to look ‘em straight in the eyes, and say “You must have two dicks, nobody could be that stupid playing with just one”
          Another of his pillars of wisdom was “were you born stupid or did you have to take lessons?”

          • The Magpie says:

            If your granddad said that directly to you, he was on to something … because The ‘Pie doesn’t know how many times he has told folks that there is no point in submitting comments when a link is behind a paywall.

  40. RE 4800 says:

    Phil Thompson has got Harper rattled?! Seriously? Harper’s in for 4 years. Too late Thompson to take up the fight now – you missed the fight altogether – it was called the state election. Thanks mate we in labor sitting comfortably laughing we’ll give you a complimentary membership.

    • The Magpie says:

      If you’re in Labor and laughingly approve of our state representation, you have a sick, sick sense of humour.

      And if Harpic isn’t rattled, why does he and Mayor Mullet so regularly behave like attack chihuahuas towards someone who represents the Federal Government in this city. Your arrogance is only matched by your ignorance.

  41. Dave of Kelso says:

    Dear ‘Pie,
    Is there a report coming on today’s Parliamentary Committee hearing?

    • The Magpie says:

      Only if someone sends one in.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Ch 7 Local News (so called) tonight was less than comprehensive on the subject. No coverage from the victims or those night time motorists who have to avoid dangerous juvenile drivers in stolen cars. Was coverage of some one who was a ‘lovely boy once.’

        So much for full and unbiased reporting.

  42. Cameron’s Dick says:

    Has anyone seen my budget papers? They’ve gone missing, I think.

    Ummm, on second thoughts maybe I didn’t have a budget plan in first place! I get so muddled, my boss Nanna Anna says do this no matter what the cost and I just do it. Anyone seen my corporate credit card?

  43. Achilles says:

    FFS, Now we have yet another Ism that we can be accused of its Ageism, so beware, as if the other confections weren’t bad enough. Oh FFS!
    How did I get to be 74 and then become an Ism.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie cops it all the time from his dotty and only occasionally doting daughter, particularly about driving at the ancient age of 75 (and more than a million uneventful miles). It’s especially galling when she’s not all that flash behind the wheel herself, but insists she wouldn’t let me drive my grandson anywhere if the occasion arose. She uses the somewhat weird excuse that having had a tracheotomy, which causes the occasional mild cough, that the old bird poses a threat on the roads.

      Kids, eh?

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Get a flashing light for your car – works wonders and you can park wherever you like.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        You have a while to go yet ‘Pie. My dear stubborn Mother of 93 years no longer drives. At the age of 89, and with the family all telling her she should be off the roads, Mum went out and purchased a new bright red little Mazda, just to piss off everyone. It gets worse. Mum had suffered double vision on and off. Has glasses for it but could not use them for driving. So here we had a 90 year old driving on the Sunshine Coast for a number of years with one eye closed. True story.

        • The Magpie says:

          Hmmm, not sure that argues much for my situation, but if your mum did not have a bingle during what we shall call her ‘pirate period’ – it shows that older people are far safer residents of our roads than younger folk. The ‘Pie hasn’t checked but believes this is borne out by statistics.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Ah,,,, Mum did have a car park bingle with a car that, to this day, she contends was not there. She actually argued this with the attending policeman who pointed out the damage to both cars confirming the presence of the other car. My sister was present for the argument.

          • The Magpie says:

            One for The X Files.

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