Why this blog exists...

The Magpie

Saturday, December 25th, 2021   |   142 comments

How About A Quickie in The Nest? Years Since The ‘Pie Said That With Any Stiffening Of Resolve …

… and now only refers to a few brief of items of bah humbuggery from the week.

First up, a question from the week …

Are You Now ‘Check-In Hesitant’?

The Magpie
8,675 approved
email hidden; JavaScript is required
The Risk versus Reward idiocy of the Palaszczuk Government.Brett Lethbridge in Courier Screen Shot 2021-12-21 at 9.42.52 am
Brett Lethbridge in the Courier Mail.

The Magpie believes in vaccination (doubled dosed already, waiting for booster – and yes, still alive, to the dismay of some), wearing masks to avoid nasties (microbe and human) and generally agreeing with the cautionary advice from science. And he agreed with the check-in procedure, even in places like supermarkets.

Until now.

Like a majority of like-minded folk, The Magpie is now ‘check-in hesitant’ where he can get away with it, because of the Palaszczuk regulations that make it a personal gamble, whether you’re vaxxed or not. Will you risk ruining Christmas and New Year with your family on a government, politically-motivated whim (mainly a threat but still there as enforceable)? Or will you risk some no-neck uniformed security fuck-wit over exercising his/her authority and make life unacceptably and unreasonably difficult? Or, as in the majority of cases in unenforceable law, chance your arm by getting away with it?

For instance, one might duck into Coles, grab something from aisle 3 and leave after paying (well that’s the MO for all except certain western suburbs). But during that brief visit, someone in the dairy section over in aisle 22 is also present, and later that day is found to have some variety of COVID. So all who have checked in within the same timeframe will be ordered to isolate, because there is no way to determine ‘close contact’ with a shop full of people.

So what we see now is … and yes, The ‘Pie has watched it going on … many are faking check-in with a general airey wave of the phone as they scoot past … or simply ignoring the requirement altogether.

Bad laws and bad governance actually encourage civil disobedience (as in this case) and even outright criminality (as in the limp wristed ‘help yourself’ response to the state-wide juvenile crime wave).

A Herbert For Herbert – The Astonisher Gets Its Latest Carpet-Bagging  Editor.

 Screen Shot 2021-12-21 at 11.01.47 am

And no prejudgements from The ‘Pie , except to note a hopeful sign … Mr Herbert’s experience is a damn sight more comprehensive and convincing than that of the last few incumbents … he would be about the 10th in 20 years. Fingers crossed.

The Magpie Suggests Among Mr Herbert’s First Tasks Is A Closed Door Chat with Cadet Reporter Sam Flanagan.

The Bulletin managed to find a new low on Friday.

Screen Shot 2021-12-24 at 9.34.28 am

This is simply a disgraceful effort from the paper, morally, ethically and professionally. It takes an unbalanced mindset to slam nursing staff in today’s environment as ‘young and lazy … who think they know it all’.  And all without a skerrick of evidence.  And all from an anonymous source.

From the story:

A Townsville University Hospital Covid ward whistleblower has claimed “young and lazy” nurses are putting lives at risk and a severe outbreak of the disease is “inevitable”.

An experienced nurse who works at the unit contacted the Bulletin deeply concerned with staff behaviour.

“Most nurses are leaving dinner in the airlock room. Patients then go in there to get their dinner and return to their room,” they said.

“Patients aren’t allowed to come into the airlock room, that’s a safe space. But it’s not anymore because the nurses are too lazy to put on all the PPE gear and deliver the food.

“The young grads just don’t get it. They won’t listen.

“They think they know everything. This is a serious ward. It’s an actual infectious disease ward with Covid positive patients.”

And on he/she went, pot-shotting all over the place like Yosemite Sam chasing Bugs Bunny … and with about as much believability.

At the end of this breathless tale, the whole things falls over when we read:

In a statement THHS Chief Executive Kieran Keyes denied nurses in the IDU were not following protocol.

“I am confident the team working in the Infectious Diseases Unit is providing the same high level of care and support to our Covid-positive patients as is provided in all other areas of Townsville University Hospital,” Mr Keyes said. The staff working in the IDU must wear PPE at all times. There are no exceptions to this rule, and patients in the unit do not enter the airlock unless they are being transferred.”

Mr Keyes denied TUH struggled to hire experienced nurses for the unit and said “there is an appropriate mix of junior and senior staff” and “there are additional resources in

place, including a 24/7 medical officer, for extra support”.

Mr Keyes also denied THHS were late to the party in adopting proper signage and procedures for the ward. “Stringent infection-control practises and procedures, as well as signage for IDU, have been in place throughout the pandemic,” he said. “The signage on the IDU has been in place since the unit was established.

This story is so wrong on so many levels it’s difficult to know where to start, but it seems sadly apt that as we enter the final week of tumultuous year, this paper sinks to a new low in seeking sensationalist tripe in troubled-enough times … it’s come down to the Townsville Bulletin taking a highly dubious, pointless and unproven swipe at nurses is the TUH who are working long hours to handle COVID cases, as well as staff the other day to day business of the wards.

Sam Flanagan Screen Shot 2021-12-25 at 11.22.32 pm

Astonisher reporter Sam Flanagan

One imagines cadet reporter (he can’t surely be otherwise) Sam Flanagan giving a dismissive eye-roll as he reads The Magpie’s view, so allow The ‘Pie to point out a few details, sport.

First of all, there is a major and crucial difference between ‘whistleblower’ and ‘whinger’.  A whistleblower offers some proof of wrongdoing … documented, images, dates, times and more … to expose a wrong, as defined by one authority:

For the whistleblower’s claims to be credible and successful, the whistleblower must have compelling evidence to support their claims, that the government or regulating body can use or investigate to “prove” such claims and hold corrupt companies and/or government agencies accountable.

And genuine whistleblowers have their identity protected because of bureaucratic ability to retaliate. One can hardly imagine a senior nurse getting in trouble for reporting rules breaches. A ‘whinger’ is someone who seeks to hide behind the more noble ideals of a whistleblower, and thus any desiccated old prune (notice Flaangan hides the gender behind ‘they’) with an itch and tight elastic can be allowed to take a faceless swipe at colleagues … in this case, younger colleagues. This smacks of a generational agenda,  but that is secondary.

So first question, Master Flanagan: what steps did you take in seeking proof of your informant’s identity and some proof of her claims? Claims which even if true, don’t amount to a hill of beans (sorry, Bogey). In fact, did the person give his/her name wich you could check,  in fact do you actually know who gave you the information? Or did the person remain anonymous even to you? If so, resign now!! It could’ve been anybody!

Second question: Did you suggest this was simply an internal matter that should be reported within the hospital’s very strict hierarchical and safety conscious system? Why run to a gullible twit like you instead? Did you even delicately (HA!) explore for some hidden agenda? And surely it was this disgruntled person’s senior position to take disciplinary action if what they say is true. Why is she moaning to you?

Third question: Anonymity in responsible mainstream media is only agreed after deliberation among, and permission, by senior staff … was this discussed with Craig Warhurst? Or your night editor? The cleaning lady?

But here is the real question: What led you to believe that the senior health officer in the region would lie about the situation when you put it to him? You had received a reasoned, believable and professional response to this nameless whinger from the most senior medical executive in the region, THHS Chief Executive Kieran Keyes.

He, in so many words, said your ‘whistleblower’ was a liar. The fact that you put this part of the story last is the supreme act of cynicism … had you put it first, there would not have been any story, would there? In essence, by giving air to unproven, anonymous bilge, you’re casting doubt on Mr Keyes honesty. 

To quote Kipling’s great phrase, made famous by pommy PM Stanley Baldwin in his own battle with newspapers: ‘ power without responsibility … the prerogative of the harlot down through the ages.’

A Short US Gallery This Week

The Republicans are trying to ignore the growing avalanche of evidence about to bury them as the January 6 Investigating Committee gathers steam. That, along with inflationary fears and the ever shape changing variants of Covid were the focus of the week. 

Screen Shot 2021-12-22 at 9.48.09 am Screen Shot 2021-12-22 at 9.45.09 am Screen Shot 2021-12-22 at 9.45.31 am Screen Shot 2021-12-22 at 9.49.05 am Screen Shot 2021-12-23 at 8.39.53 am Screen Shot 2021-12-22 at 9.43.01 am

And that, folks, is it for 2021, ending the 11th year of this blog. The Magpie will be back all preened up and ready to swoop in 2022 … which happens to be next Sunday. Happy New Year to y’all, from The Magpie and Bentley.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. WTF!!! says:

    How is this a way to live?? Look at how everyone is now being forced into isolation just because they test positive or have been close to someone. What a joke! How can you run a business thinking your going to be able to work during Christmas making a lot of money that will set up your year only to be closed for deep cleans and no staff. Let’s say a restaurant opens Monday to have a case walk in then everyone is out for seven days or less only to open again after that time away for another case to walk in and they start over? How the fuck do you plan to this rediculous nonsense of a health rule? Everyone was told get vaccinated for freedom now we are and all of a sudden the vulnerable people are still at risk again. Delta is now fading out because of omicron, that is fantastic news because as the experts have said it will turn into a cold. How long will people have to live with this bullshit that all governments are peddling out. Glad I don’t ever want to visit WA. I don’t check in properly ever because of all this, being a casual worker how do I live and pay for everything if like I said above happens to the place I work at. NSW had it right about letting the virus go, how many in hospitals now? How many dead? Not many and the system is copeing with a lessor strain. Every reasonable doctor is saying omicron is not deadly then why are we listening to the dickhead experts that think there 15mins of fame is up. How many boosters will we keep getting told to get before we are classed as fully vaccinated? The political parties don’t care because most are on 140k plus a year and if they isolate they don’t loose anything.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      But but the ones making these decisions, the politicians, they are ok as their fortnightly huge pay checks aren’t affected by snap lockdowns and constant uncertainty. Their superannuation keeps on building up and their investment portfolios remain safe.

      The countries citizens from around the world need to unite and rebel against these rules, strength in numbers.

      • The Magpie says:

        Hmmm, let’s unpack that, shall we? The citizens unite, rebelling against these rules, they turf out the ruling elites and install themselves … as ruling elites. And while their security is assured and their super and investments romp along, legislate a different set of rules on various issues, which infuriate a certain section of the community, who unite and rebel, enjoying their strength in numbers, and then …

        Ever read Orwell’s Animal Farm?

        • Nickster says:

          Have we become Benjamin?

          • The Magpie says:

            You can only speak for yourself, but in some – not all – aspects, The ‘Pie was born Benjamin.
            Benjamin is an old and pessimistic donkey. No one on the farm knows exactly how old he is but it is hinted that he has been around for a very long time. He is never enthusiastic when things go well for the animals; likewise, he is never surprised or upset when things go wrong. He often gives vague answers. Some might say that he is a realist.

            But on the other hand, perhaps the Magpie doesn’t fit the bill because in Orwell’s Animal Farm, Benjamin represents all intellectuals who choose to ignore politics.

            The ‘Pie has never been an intellectual (had you all fooled, didn’t I?) and ignore politics? What do you reckon? ROTFLMAO.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      What if a bus hits you? The world is full of things outside our control, but you don’t get hung up on them. Do what you can in your area or influence to make sure that this doesn’t happen to you or others.

      Merry Christmas to all.

  2. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Looked on my tablet yesterday am. wondering whether there would be a paper or not. Booted it up and a page saying Weekend Bulletin came up.
    I thought that some poor bugger has got the raw end of the prawn hand has had to work through Christmas.
    Nope…60 pages of adds from JB HiFi and The Good Guys.
    I wonder if this is charged as one of my papers?
    Anyway ‘Pie, thanks for an entertaining year and we appreciate the time you put into the blog.
    And yes, I know where the “click here to donate” button is!

  3. The Magpie says:

    Anything stand out in these NSW stats? Anything hit you in the eye?

    Aussies have always been stubborn bastards, and now, despite the continuing chicken-little-the-sky-is-falling alarm in the media and the increasing political arse-covering, the bastards are refusing to die of any form of Covid, which now seems to have more varieties than Heinz. We are turning some sort of corner, and the group that will struggle most with the obvious change of course will be the politicians.

    NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard has made this prediction today:

    “We would expect that pretty well everybody in NSW at some point will get Omicron … and if we’re all going to get Omicron, the best way to face it is when we have full vaccinations including our booster.”

    And in sunny Queensland?

    Queensland has recorded 714 new cases, another daily record for the state, with seven people in hospital and none in intensive care.

    And none in the ground.

    As the economist Galbraith said, “I change my mind when circumstances change, what do you do?’

    If anyone out there has the time, be interesting to dig out the relevant stats for ‘flu over the winter months.

    • Nickster says:

      I have noticed nobody catches Delta anymore

      • WTF!!! says:

        Because delta is finished and a weaker strain has taken over but the governments are worried there controls will be lost so we have to hype up a common flu now to keep us all scared.

    • Dave Sth says:

      Pie. IMO not Perrottet’s fault though he will wear it electorally as people have had enough in NSW.

      Anyone in NSW will tell you Perrottet is being white anted by Chant who should have been sacked weeks ago for her leaking (If not 12 months ago for doing same to Gladys). However he isn’t stupid enough to take on the whole health apparatus that, frankly the managerial levels should have been sacked at the Ruby Princess moment. Hazzard was also retained despite being mediocre at best. The whole thing is and has been a shitshow of epic precautions.

      Seems to me the problem at the moment is the majority catastrophist leanings at the moment and not enough Coatsworth’s in senior health ranks. One of the few right decisions Queensland has made and I don’t know whether it was a plan or good luck was moving on Janette Young and installing someone else to lead the road out of this. In the last week John Garrard actually looks like he is trying to steer a path out of this. All I can observe is obviously there is not enough diversity of opinion and those who do dissent are like Coatsworth having to fend off vaxatious complaints to professional boards.

  4. Hee Haw says:

    I have been trying to verify the following data so far without success on point 1.

    1 On Tuesday 21st December 167,000 people entered Qld from NSW and Victoria.
    2 Each one required to get a PCR Test on day 5 after arriving.
    3 On the 5th day 25th December (year xmas day I know which makes it stupid) 29,918 tests were done.
    Where are the required tests for the other 137,000 ?? It seems this is the pattern for every day since the borders opened on the 13th December.

  5. Jenny Wren says:

    I answer the weekly flutracking survey and they have reports going back over 10 years


    • The Magpie says:

      Thanks for that Jenny. Can’t really make head nor tail of it, but it certainly is detailed.

      However, a question you might help with: you say you an swer the survey, so are these stats from a self-reporting group? Are there any for hospitalisation a nd 9sorry to ask) deaths? Genuinely interested in how we are informed of matters like this.

  6. J Jones says:

    Judging by his bio online master Flanagan has been in the news Ltd system for almost five years

    • The Magpie says:

      And won some junior journalistic Hoppy Badge for ‘exposing’ the ‘toxic culture’ at the Dalby Hospital or somewhere.

      Seems he thinks there’s reporting gold in the War of the Wards.

  7. The Magpie says:

    The ‘Pie should sue … fancy trying to get on the tailfeathers of the Nest’s success!!!

  8. Old Tradesman says:

    The biggest story next year will be how the water pipeline disappeared. Happy New year to all.

  9. The Magpie says:


    If there was evidence that Scott Stewart’s fucked-up giveaway calendar (in last week’s comments) showed he didn’t know what day it was, then Aaron Harpic Harper doesn’t even know what year it is. Fortunately, the calendar printer does.

    • Achilles says:

      There is also another misprint “Looking after Locals” he’s referring to those who voted for him. So it should read Looking after Yokels.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      There has to be an election time tee shirt out of this to rightly ridicule this sanctimonious little prick.

    • Bagwhan says:

      Interestingly also that the Harpic feels insecure enough to include handwritten MP in his signature when it is clearly also typed in his signature block. Always considered a sign of petty arrogance to sign your own post nominals, except for Elisabeth Regina (R)…..

    • Troy Thompson says:

      Given Mr Harpers lack of representation within the electorate, one must presume this will be another persons responsibility, more ducking and weaving, he is not one to take ownership for much, unless of course its the Ring Road, if you listen to him, he built it with his bare hands. Aside from throwing mud at the Member for Herbert, he is invisible in Thuringowa, didn’t even show up for a vigil in his own electorate, Herbert, Hinchinbrook, & Burdekin did. Waiting the blame game with baited breath.

  10. MissTaken says:

    Occasionally something comes along that makes you laugh so hard, your need to go to the gym to do sit-up is completely vitiated. Today that something came along in the form of a quote. A tradie quote. From a carpenter none-the-less, the day after the birth of the greatest carpenter who ever lived walked the earth.

    The irony was not lost on me, neither was the sheer happiness of finding myself laughing at the impossible; no, rejoicing in the impossible. The impossible of what some in this world think is reasonable, yet is anything but. There’s a lot of that going around lately.

    You see, my front steps are on their last legs; struggling to achieve their dominate purpose; cracking under the sun and rotting under the rain. They wobble, rattle and shake, like an overweight rapper, whenever I have misfortune of a visitor who needs to traverse the gap from the ground to the verandah, or I am overcome with guilt for leaving unopened mail for weeks at a time in the letterbox below.

    So, I reached out before Christmas – emailed – to a few tradies. I sent pictures of the stairs (but perhaps that is where I went wrong…), and requested some trade quotes or a time and date for an inspection. Now some tradies, didn’t even bother to respond. They didn’t even have an out office. Scratch them. Some had an out of office – bravo! They are up-to-date with best practice and I look forward to talking with them next year. Two tradies answered on boxing day. I applaud both. One was genuine, but the other, I very much doubt his authenticity. He quoted me over $13,600.00 to rebuild the steps. Now, I only have 13 wooden steps; the picture is pretty clear. So that quote, it works out to be more than $1000.00 per step. I’m pretty sure only super models get that sort of cash and I very much doubt a Townsville tradie is in the same league. But I thank the carpenter for reminding me that human “reasonableness” is quite, completely risible. And perhaps, just perhaps unreliable.

    • The Magpie says:

      Dear MissTaken,
      Before publication of your complaint, please sent a pic of the stairs to email hidden; JavaScript is required


    • The Magpie says:

      Haven’t we been here before?

  11. Mike Douglas says:

    Thanks Pie for getting the news out whilst Newscorp locally are enjoying their Festivus (Seinfeld ) and dreaming counting editors jumping over the fence to Tassie . I am sure Council have sent him his induction kit . Speaking of Council , even the new parking system is ” CIC ” . Hearing some howler increases on the local residential insurance front 30% + . Is it post code related , increased building costs , lumping our property increases in with the south east corner ? . Poor Aaron , even the Calendar company is against him .

  12. Kenny Kennett says:

    Doing a bit of net surfing and came across this. I have a handful of Doctor friends who are all asking questions from within but are surprised about Government decisions on COVID19 testing versus Pluckerchook’s father’s business dealings. Now there’s a heap of conspiracy theories in amongst the narrative of this article but there are also questions to be asked. The Medical association are apparently still surprised that more questions weren’t asked about Dr Young’s husband interests in Pfizer.
    Here’s the link:
    I need to read Brave new World again.

    • Snowpeas says:

      Interesting read Kenny – but try and get a comment on any storyline or editorial in any newspaper about the genetic data storage and sequencing market worth trillions and you get a quick reject.

    • Snowpeas says:

      Further reading and links for those interested – The Grand Opening of GTA Gene Data Storage and Application Summit Forum Heralds a Promising Future of Gene Technology : ABNewswire 27/9/2019.

  13. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Apparently I was at an exposure site last week, couldn’t give a shit, friend who was there and advised me couldn’t give a shit either, other friends who were there couldn’t give a shit and aren’t really sure what the fuck is going on, 5 days later and none of us are sick, so we decided to meet at the pub today for lunch and work out what we are going to do, problem solved.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Well, well, well Tanker, that’s a lot of shits. Final word – if any of you falls ill with the virus, who gives a shit!!! :(

    • Not dr google says:

      Just don’t get tested and treat it as a common cold. Couple of days at home. I don’t like to put things online that could be interpreted as fake, but I’ve been watching and listening to a doctor in London. Me John Campbell. Please make your own decision on if you think he’s worth listening to. Since Omicron appeared he’s been interviewed numerous times on uk tv and has also interviewed the South African doctor who found omicron. Very sensible analysis and reasonable information for anyone to learn about the actual numbers and what they mean. It’s very clear that governments everywhere have taken this new virus strain completely the wrong way. There are to many videos to mention but he’s worth taking a look at as he seems very low key.

    • The COVIDNATOR says:

      Couldn’t agree more Cantankerous, just going about business as usual. It’s all hyped up. I haven’t changed my pattens in the past two years and I haven’t caught it, and if I do catch it well shit happens, the dice has been rolled and I will see what the outcome is. All these softcocks scared to venture outside their homes, it’s pathetic and it’s brainwashing.

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, perhaps, but in the early stages, indeed until just recently when politics took an upper hand, the restrictive steps were not about YOU but about your responsibility to OTHERS. The problem with folks like you gung ho warriors being cavalier with with other people’s safety and ‘going commando’ means another layer of protection is removed from helping keep your hand of your cock.

        • Not dr google says:


          I hope this link works it’s a relatively new episode. I’ve mainly watched only in the last 4 weeks but it looks like he started the channel 8 mths ago. Thanks

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie is always wary of posting long videos, but this one is well worth the time (more than 15 minutes). Couldn’t understand the Sth African bloke much (recording quality not too hot) but pommy doctor bloke appears to have no axe to grind, as you said in your initial comment, he’s very low key, no ranter. He carries his torch to illuminate, not to burn, and he gives a very good perspective on Omicron. His solid information makes it even more hopeful we have now turned the corner.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            I love your positivity Mr Pie “now we have turned the corner” . As an engineer I know that most structures have four corners before you get back to where you qtarted?

            Cast your mind back almost 2 years, we had thin Chinese flu sorted, then there was a second wave, then Delta, the Omnivore, but you charmingly think this is over.

            Do you watch disaster movies? Mate, this is just the beginning. Lovely that , I’n this if nothing else, you accept the gobermnt “we got this she’ll be right”.

        • Not dr google says:

          Thanks magpie. I do think a lot of his talks are very long but interesting. I’ve found some are worth watching only around the first few minutes because he goes through real data and numbers and that’s what I look at rather the interviews. I’m hearing more and more from sth Africa now that this is a good strain to catch and words are being used that pandemic might be over soon with omicron. Unfortunately for governments like ours the real data is getting out quickly and people are not listening to their bullshit now. Just look at case numbers everywhere. Majority of people I believe are not scared anymore. They just don’t want the quarantine period and loosing income. Unlike our state reps claiming everything even if the have to isolate. Hope it helped with what I think is reasonable information from the uk doctor

  14. The Magpie says:

    SPECIAL ON EBAY – ENGLAND CRICKET FANS ONLY. (Players a further 50% off).

  15. The Third Reader says:

    Better late than never Malcolm. I hope you had an enjoyable Christmas with family and or friends. Sorry for the delay, we are still having far too much fun in WA. Shame about the borders for tourism, but all will be sorted soon hopefully.
    I still kept the record intact through 2021 in having never missed a Nest published. I am also still hoping to be able to read it from the Magpie first that the Mullet has been charged with anything that will see the woman ousted from any control of the city I once loved. At least then her years of incompetency can’t continue.
    Malcolm I hope you are what is considered “OK” in health, for us seniors, and that you are able to continue to do in 2022, what so many appreciate and follow loyally.

    • The Magpie says:

      Thanks, mate, you have been with The Magpie and The Nest long before he left the Bulletin, so you’re considered a friend of the ‘family’, well and truly. Well remember our coffee years ago. Health is fine, although you must know by now that the cheering you heard a few years ago, even at your distance, is that cancer took the Magpie’s warble.

      Have thought long and hard about continuing with the blog, debating with myself if I’ve been too hard on Dear Jen, TEl and the Bulletin, and was it time I gave them all, a break? After deep and long contemplation ( approx 5 seconds) decided, ‘fuck that, you’re kiddin’, too much fun for all of us’ and will be roaring on into ’22 with the same MO.

      And yes, we have a shared ambition.

      All the best for the new year.

  16. Mike Douglas says:

    The acting editor to the Townsville Bulletin ” The Chaos at Townsvilles only testing facility at the former 1300 smiles stadium yesterday proved the region was ill equipped ” . Friends have just received notification they were in close contact at a Townsville venue 18 th december and must quarrantine until test results . It took 10 days to notify them .

  17. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Well it’s a cluster fuck here in Townsville, the Ville Casino has been told to close its doors, hundreds of staff have no pay and thousands been told to get tested, but the testing centre was closed, what a debacle, just the greatest bunch of brainless dickheads you could find anywhere. So now they want people who were at a venue 5 days ago to get tested and quarantine until the 30th, who would bother getting tested now, just isolate until the 30th.

  18. Nickster says:

    Well the Chooks have come home to roost.

    The Queensland Government have been caught out. For the last 2 years they have spoken about and hyped up dramatic COVID case numbers, and now the case numbers are here (at volumes less than they scary predictions) we find we don’t have even the most basic of testing infrastructure.

    2 years of spin and what have we got?

    • Old Tradesman says:

      We still have 2 years and 10 months of this rubbish so called government, what have the 3 useless MP’s got to say about all this, probably too busy checking the dates on their calendars, they are more useless than the Pommie cricket team, and should all resign.

  19. Bordeaux Bob says:

    Yesterday at 1535 notified by Qld Health that as we had been at the Quarterdeck on the 19th, 8 days previously, we had to get tested ASAP. Immediately off to 1300 Smiles to be told that they were overwhelmed and had stopped accepting people to be tested at 1500! Turned away!
    This morning, (9 days later) off to the University testing site at 0730, waited in the queue until told at 0900 by a Qld Police Officer that they were no longer accepting people, 8 hour wait and to try other sites tomorrow. Turned away again!
    We are showing no signs of a cold, both double vaccinated and one with a booster.
    For 8 days we were all over Townsville, hosted 2 social functions and went to one other.
    As the boss of the Ville commented yesterday, the Qld Government handling of this is a “Circus”.
    They now have scrapped the requirement for interstate visitors to be tested after 5 days.
    Tomorrow will be 10 days since we sat outside at the Ville and had a glass of wine. When will they scrap our direction?
    Is anyone in Government governing or are they like the ABC, starting again in mid January?

    • Don’t get tested says:

      just don’t get tested. Stay home a couple of days and don’t bother going to a test site. What are the government going to do? Fine you for not getting tested? They can’t! It won’t hold up if you take it to court and by then you haven’t got Covid if you even had it in first place. Best bet for everyone here, check in but change your phone number and scramble your email address on the app. Then any message will go to someone else and an email address that dosnt exist.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      They can get screwed, I don’t mind isolating for a few days, even though I have been all over the place in the 5 days between, but fucked if I am going to queue for hours for some test, if they can’t put on staff to cope with demand then too bad, come Thursday night my 7 days is over and I will be heading out and I won’t be signing in anywhere again, not after this debacle.

    • Tested says:

      Same as you but a veteran of Seaview, 10 days ago. Tested this morning at Murray. 3.5 hours following an early start. Poor dears doing testing in only 2 lines were getting wet (very professional but whoever set this backyard operation up needs a lesson in HR). It seemed pointless before and now I’ve been through it I’m doubly sure it’s pointless. Never again. Time to hand over the job of keeping us safe from Covid to the people.
      At least I got to drive past a poster of Walker wishing me a Merry Xmas. He’s so thoughtful in these difficult times.

  20. Lady Byron says:

    Thanks for all the laughs over the past year Pie. All the best for 2022.
    Lady B.

  21. Duncan Biscuit says:

    Now that Omicron, like love, is all around us, the first Government to have the balls to say that they (a) will no longer report on COVID case numbers, (b) wind back the expensive yet ineffective contract tracing program, (c) scrap mandatory checkins and (d) allow people to decide for themselves about mask usage, they will be (re)elected in a landslide. Sadly though, between big pharma and their lobbyists and the media who have both thrived from the misery of COVID, said government is likely to be burnt at the stake.

  22. The Magpie says:

    News Ltd and Maths … never the twain shall meet, let alone add up.


    We read in the Curious Snail the following from – to use the Irish term – slightly adjacent reporter Ben Horn

    Boland’s 6-7, man-of-the-match blitzkrieg on debut at the MCG will live long in cricketing folklore for destroying England and securing the fastest Ashes defence in history, with Australia going 3-0 up before the halfway point of the series had even arrived as they were skittled for 68.

    Now The ‘Pie is the first to ‘fess up that he himself is somewhat shaky in the ‘rithmetic department, so he checked and found the following:

    The first Test will begin on Wednesday, December 8 and the fifth Test on Friday, January 14.
    Here’s the full schedule:
    First Test: December 8-12, first ball 11am (AEDT), the Gabba, Brisbane
    Second Test (day-night Test): December 16-20, first ball 3pm (AEDT), Adelaide Oval, Adelaide
    Third Test (Boxing Day Test): December 26-30, first ball 10:30am (AEDT), MCG, Melbourne
    Fourth Test (New Year’s Test): January 5-9, first ball 10:30am (AEDT), SCG, Sydney
    Fifth Test (day-night Test): January 14-18, first ball 2pm (AEDT), Bellerive Oval, Hobart

    Then five tests it is … soooo … the halfway mark of the series would be the end of the first two innings of the 3rd test, after which we subsequently sandpapered England’s arse. So seems unlikely that we secured an historic Ashes victory by going three-up before the half-way point of the series had arrived.

    But Mr Horne’s lack of cred for his maths was easily matched by a similar discount for his analysis. You may have to read this a couple of times to believe he wrote it.

    Australia’s freakish success story Scott Boland is already fighting for his Test future, as captain Pat Cummins declared a new era of dominance has arrived for the baggy green.

    But in a sign of Australia’s overflowing depth, Boland could still be axed for the Sydney Test with Josh Hazlewood, Jhye Richardson and even leg-spinner Mitchell Swepson pushing hard for selection.

    Talk about a party pooper … Boland and the nation are still hailing his achievement and this twerp is forecasting his demise. Poop is the word. That would have to rank as one of the lamest attempts to attract readers ever attempted by the News Ltd stable overflowing with horseshit.

    A professional sports writer failing to take into consideration of the selectors guiding hand of money and popular acceptance by the paying public is a dereliction of basic duty to readers. Seriously, Mr Horne, can you really imagine after a history-making debut, the selectors would calmly decide to drop Boland for anybody, especially the spinning spare part Mitchell Swepson. Forget Covid anti-mask hordes surging through the streets, they would be nothing compared with the cricketing public denied seeing their new hero who could get batsmen out on a pitch prepared by the Julia Creek Dirt’n’Dust Watering Committee, let alone the notoriously quick-unfriendly Sydney deck.

    Mr Horne, your nominal priapism wedded to your dexterity is well deserved.

    • Bunnings Isle 12 says:

      Naughty Magpie – “we sandpapered Englands arse”. The mentioning of ‘sandpaper’ would have Warner and Smiths assholes twitching again!!

      • The Magpie says:

        It was more aimed at all those gleeful Pommy mates and headline writers who inundated The ‘Pie with sandpaper jokes and jeers – deserved perhaps, but always a bit rich from the pricks who invented bodyline.

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      Sorry ‘Pie, but what he writes could well be true. Not for a long time has Australia had a smorgasbord of great bowlers to choose from and Boland got his chance through injury of others…and did an exceptional job. The order of preference is still Cummins, Stark, Hazlewood, Richardson, Neser, Lyon, Boland. Lyon may possibly be rested to give Swepson his baggy green on a turning Sydney wicket and perhaps Stark rested for Richardson but that leaves one spot for either Hazlewood, Neser or Boland. Green is the future of Aussie cricket and needs to be there. And as for the Ashes being the quickest win by Australia, I think you’ll find it was despite his maths being a touch out.

      • The Magpie says:

        We’ll see.

        As for your final comment, The ‘Pie didn’t and doesn’t dispute that it was the quickest Ashes defence, it is purely a comment on the maths and the words ‘before the halfway point had even arrived’. The comment was also an opinion on not allowing us all to bask in Boland’s achievement before casting doubts about the place.

        PS Dropping Lyon for a test on Sydney famed spinners’ deck would be, as Sir Humphrey Appleby would say, a courageous decision.

        • Kenny Kennett says:

          And another record: the game finished before the first across the line for the Sydney to Hobart!
          And here’s a guess at some wild changes despite my previous comments:
          Hazlewood in for Green
          Richardson in for Stark
          Boland stays as is although Green and Neser offer more with the bat
          Swepson in for Lyon
          Back up part time spinners Labuschagne, Head, Smith
          Green 12th man for his fielding

  23. Gerry Harpy says:

    Queensland government says “fuck this it’s all too hard”, and quits.


    Looking forward to the cost savings from Qld Health now they don’t need contact tracers……

    • Don’t get tested says:

      Funny as I read the article you posted my friend stayed in Brisbane last week and the guy at the desk asked him to check in. He answered with “ sure here’s my license what room number have I got” ? The guy said no you have to Covid check in. My mate laughed at him and said he’s staying in the hotel where else am I going to sleep? Apparently booking with your identity and credit card still isn’t enough for the government to know where he is. Check ins should be stopped to along with testing unless you are sick, then don’t hesitate. As someone who has had influenza A testing then was crucial as I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I had.

  24. OMNISHLONG says:

    All levels of Government are completely fucked. They locked us down, closed borders, destroyed businesses, destroyed the economy and lives, and for what? They panicked when a handful of people had the virus. Now that the virus is spreading faster than ever before, they are winding back everything and just allowing it to spread. What the actual fuck? Have they finally learned that the last 2 years have been handled disastrously and their inept methodology is completely flawed and has completely failed. It’s a clusterfuck beyond measure.

    • The Magpie says:

      Pardon a persoinal question, Omnischlong, but are a descendant of the famous Roman centurion Bigus Dickus?

    • Nickster says:

      It appears there are many who share similar views including this Gold Coast Doctor

      I thought the quote from Nobel prize-winning quantum physicist Richard Feynman was appropriate “I would rather have questions that can’t be answered, than answers that can’t be questioned.”

    • Russell says:

      It’s at the stage now where it’s not about “Keeping Queenslanders Safe” but about the Government and their advisors trying to save face.
      Very unfortunate timing this, coinciding as it does with the Christmas and New Year celebrations.
      These illogical impositions can’t last much longer . . . or can they!

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      Unlike any previous point in the past two years, 91.16% of the population is now double-vaxxed.

      • The Magpie says:

        So Steve … and The ‘Pie is serious now … putting aside any political considerations, what is your take on where we are now and if ALL governments aren’t catching up with the reality of Omicron? You occasionally have lucid moments when you’re not pumping the Labor dog.

        • Al says:

          Come on Steve, you can tell us. We will be happy to learn

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          Omicron continues to seem like a lucky break especially for the 2x and 3x vaxxed, but given its virulence and our vax rate, we still need some measures to slow the transmission process – to flatten the hospitalisation curve.

          Queensland needs to get on the bandwagon of securing and freely distributing rapid tests en masse and, sometime soon, make them the primary strategy for the vaccinated.

          • The Magpie says:

            There ya go, a lucid moment. And get the date down … we have totally agreed on something. Won’t last but nice for the season.

          • Tropical says:

            Stephy belligerent gardens
            “…but given its virulence and our vax rate, we still need some measures to slow the transmission process – to flatten the hospitalisation curve.”

            So you admit belligerence that masks dont work, vaccinations help reduce symptoms if you get it but vaccinations do not prevent transmission.

            So to help flatten the hospitalization curve which is virtually non existent, you as a typical socialist want even harsher draconian measures than your idiot idol in Brisbane has already imposed on us.

            I suspect those that those in hospital have been admitted as a precaution as they have underlying conditions or are in a high at risk category. Being a socialist expert on all things you should have known that.

            Therefore belligerent you would have us all including kids dressed in a HAZMAT suit. Idiot to stop the spread. You clueless twat.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yeah, Trops, The ‘Pie is with you, if only we had a Trump in charge. He’s got a couple of spare kids floating about, maybe we could borrow one.

          • Tropical says:

            Cutie Pie
            If Trump was in charge the virus would be under control There is no doubt. Except in Democrat run states.
            That poison dwarf who should be in jail, your Saint Anthony Fauci is screwing the US and Biden doesn’t not have the balls to sack him.
            Biden has given up on the virus and and has passed the buck to the states.
            He refused to order half billion RAT tests two months ago. They would have come in handy as cases increase at record rates, especially in Democrat run states.
            Under Biden more people have died from Covid than under Trump. You must be proud.
            So enough with your bullshit

          • The Magpie says:

            You poor mutt.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            Tropical what on earth are you babbling about?

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Of course the number has to go up you brainless fuckwit, people can’t unvacinate themselves.

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          Missing the point as usual.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Time to head back to the Ma Kelly’s BG laundromat, Steve/Stevie. A solid viewing of the washer, then dryer spinning, by you, is in order and MAY help to reorganise your thoughts………

  25. NQ Gal says:

    The age of electric vehicles is still some way off if the rumour of yet another servo in Aitkenvale is correct. Puma are wanting to build opposite the Caltex and 200m away from a BP on Ross River Road. Add the Shell and Mobil servos on Nathan St, and there will be 5 within a kilometre! By the way, the Mobil is usually the cheapest.

    • Tested says:

      Until you drive one. Range anxiety is a thing and will be around for a couple more years. But hypercar acceleration, whisper quiet, very low running costs, these are intoxicating incentives to get one in your home fleet. As an added bonus they are probably ok for the environment.

  26. Testes says:

    I am calling out the bullshit and lies that the Qld Government are spreading about COVID testing when they are saying testing is at record numbers, and the system cannot cope.

    Well Qld Government in August 2021 you where doing 51000 and 52000 tests a day, and now 35000 are too much. https://covidlive.com.au/report/daily-tests/qld

    Wake the fuck up Queensland and start questioning these idiots as we know we cannot rely on the newspaper as they spin the arrival of a cold room to store drinks for New Years on Palm Is as the end of the world.

  27. Ian Taylor says:

    Reading today’s paper about crime. Why doesn’t the Bulletin challenge our 3 state members about this. Surely they represent us. What is their answer and what are they doing about it. I think these 3 state reps get off lightly.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      The Astonisher has not done a challenging or investigate piece since the 1980s.

      • Grumpy says:

        Dunno about that, Dave. They did a good job on the TAIHC a few years ago. Wahtershername.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          Fair enough, I stand corrected. One investigative piece in 40 years.
          I wonder when the next one will be, in this corrupt and crime rich environment.

          • The Magpie says:

            40n years? It happened in The ‘Pie’s absence of the 1990s, and don’t know the full details, but John Anderson exposed a disgraceful cover-up about prisoner mistreatment. Didn’t get him a Walkley but an almost equal accolade as far as a journalist is concerned … a lawsuit by arse-covering government bureaucrats, which they lost. It was a classic case of the Streisand effect, with the trial publicity magnifying the appalling details. News Ltd stuck by their man footing the mammoth legal bill, but they had little choice – as publishers, a loss would havde exposed them to stiff penalties as well.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            OK then, I will put it this way, they are so few and far away they can be remembered individually. Still not good enough.

          • The Magpie says:

            Fully agree, a piss poor performance over the years by the Bulletin in such a target rich environment.

            Also, didn’t Tony Raggatt play a role in exposing the rorting of Emmanuel Cassimatis and Julie Cassimatis in the Storm debacle?

            But still, the successes are worth noting, because they are almost totally due to individual determination and investigation.

          • Nickster says:

            Well done Pie – Townsville a target rich environment what a great summary. What a pity the Astonisher couldn’t hit the side of shed with a bucket full of rice, where sadly Raggatt’s best days are behind him.

          • The Magpie says:

            Re Raggatt, remember, in a News Ltd universe, you’re only as good as your allowed to be – for instance, try writing an adverse business story or anything even slightly critical of Jerry Harvey and expect counselling about the economics of the company and a final warning.

        • The Magpie says:

          Whatshername was Kathleen Skene, and she won a Walkley Award for her investigative reporting on the rorts.

  28. The Magpie says:

    It is not alarmist to say that things are starting to unravel with this latest clusterfuck from the state government. Yes, vaccinations, lock-down and quarantining were all necessary at the time, and in some cases, still is, but the broad-brush business-killing response to the admitted mild Omicron virus has our Premier running for cover. It is sure to come back bite her on the ballot box.

    The ludicrously bungled contact tracing regime, in place to paper over the parlous unprepared state of Queensland hospitals, has blown up in the government’s face, exposing the lack of foresight, simple mathematical analysis and policy balance. And when the government gets one of the region’s biggest taxpayers crying foul, and throwing hundreds out of work, something has to give.

    If the Palaszczuk government is unfairly targeting Townsville, an inconsistency is exposed when other areas get totally ignored.

    The Magpie has solid evidence that Airlie Beach has multiple (not a handful) of COVID positive cases in town at multiple locations, accommodation hotels, bars, clubs , restaurants etc. These people have been in the community for days at the time of getting results, been on aircraft, in taxis and shuttle services, on boats, and visiting islands.

    Now perhaps that is to be expected, but not a single COVID alert from Qld Health, no contact tracing, close contacts, nothing, not a word of any cases in the Whitsundays. Is this a blatant, dangerous and irresponsible attempt to salvage the hospitality/tourism vote?

    Locals first knew of cases on Xmas eve, and say so did the government. But nothing has been done.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Qld is stuffed, if it keeps going like this half the state will be isolating because the govt has lost the plot, they have no idea. In regards to the Ville casino they have played a part in their own problems by not having separate check in codes for the quarterdeck and the casino, they say it’s because it has a common door but that door has been closed for months. This has been done to avoid paying staff having to monitor seperate doors, fair enough business decision but the consequence is anyone in the whole Casino and the staff are fucked should something happen, and it did, so now thousands of people are being stuffed around because of it. So perhaps the management of the Ville should be a little bit more concerned with stuffing around and isolating thousands of customers who have been caught out and had their New year ruined by the casinos own laziness.

    • The Magpie says:


      Qld gov site now showing 48 cases in the Whitsundays but still not a single exposure site listed or close contacts contacted. And zero media.

      • Not dr google says:

        Where is our mayor?? If Morrison did this our paper would have had the story printed with mullet quotes before it happened

      • OMNISHLONG says:

        The Queensland government has lost its grip finally. It can no longer keep up with testing, managing its media, finding public serpents who have the time to front the media, and so the game of chasing its tail has finally imploded. The virus itself, is weakening. It’s time to pull back completely and get back to business’s as usual. Let it run its course. The latest dominant version makes you sick for a couple of days and has a 99% recovery rate. Only a handful of old codgers 80+ who are either old, diabetic or are fat fuckers will croak it. More people will die in car accidents or by lightning strikes. Get over it people and get on with it. Time to ignore the China virus and return to normal. Pretend it doesn’t exist and go about your business. Hopefully the ridiculous QLD COVID App will go tits up and they will end the signing in bullshit which most people don’t do anyway.

      • Truthy says:

        Just look at the location the pollies and their staffers are holidaying and you will have your answer why there are cases or not.

        Social media is a wonderful thing.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Pie , you were a day ahead of local media with 3 positive Covid cases being flown out of Hamilton island on a charter flight to Brisbane + a further 3 charter flights planned for evacuations from Whitsunday island ? . Hamilton island staff member returning to the island from an interstate holiday triggered 12 staff to isolate .

  29. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Sorry – even I cannot understand what I typed in. Try this instead.

    Steve, it seems that Queensland at least is lowering the hospitalisation rate by now no longer counting hospital admissions, but only serious hospital admissions. Presto, just by changing the goalposts we are doing better.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Finally, in the media is a Scott who is a ‘winner’.. what a champion he is. Great bowling debut. I much prefer to see this bloke in the media than that Bible bashing fuckwit Scott Morrison.

      • Tropical says:

        Prince Fishy
        Dont know about that. The PM might be bible bashing fuckwit in your feeble addled brain. But title goes to that equally over the top bible bashing fuckwit KRudd.

  30. Dave of Kelso says:

    Hmmm? Not so sure about these recent Covid changes.


    A bit like the Scomo car company. Cars, all with round wheels, were popular. Then the demand for Scomo cars jumped, out stripping supply. “The difficulty is the time consuming process making the wheels round,” said Scomo.

    So, to keep supply up to meet demand Scomo cars are now now being made with square wheels. “There will be a spike in motionlessness but we will meet demand,” Scomo said proudly.

    Yup, that will help.

  31. Truthy says:

    Zero outrage by the media at the Repugnant acts that saw protesters who set fire to the doors of Old Parliament House in Canberra.

    How typical no outrage from the left leaning media, but no surprise the act was supported by a Greens Senator.

    • The Magpie says:

      Couldn’t agree more. These discombobulated morons really do need to be pulled into line, they are now taking their wild eyed theories and actions beyond civil disobedience. More about this in Sunday’s blog. Did find this mild bit of reportage in the New Daily.,

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Hey, hold on here. Canberra, our national capital is the most woke, political correct place in the country. The black fella / anti vaxx coalition, or so it seems to be, need an outlet to express themselves. What better place than Old Parliament House. I am sure there would have been criminal intelligence that one of them would have had a box of matches, and another with a surplus can of mower fuel. But hey, you cannot stifle free expression. In this age of wokefullness I expect the Parliament Door smoking ceremony participants, with their matches and mower fuel would have been accompanied by their taxpayer funded social worker to guide them in their act of wokefull politically correct self expression.

        With regards to these wokefull politically correct scumbags, I wish I could enact my self expression upon them, but the woke police would probably riun my day.

        Gutlessness on the part of the ACT authorities in the extreme!

        • The Magpie says:

          Not sure how you managed to introduce racism into this arena … first The ‘Pie has heard of any such alliance, but labels don’t matter when it comes to who did it or why, IT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. And forget the ACT, this is surely an AFP matter. What a great fucking way to end an already horrible fucking year.

          • Truthy says:

            Vote for Labor and the Greens will have the balance of power where we will see more of this behaviour https://www.sbs.com.au/news/greens-senator-apologises-over-disgusting-slur-directed-at-liberal-colleague/91af7329-58e8-4903-a04e-18bc12b73ce2?fbclid=IwAR3ZfVAnmSHS6ltOVQZNLwMzgqu9X80KQ0d1y3kYDdExTUeO5aEy_pB1smM

            Typical Greens behaviour pure passive aggressive abuse followed by a hollow apology.

          • The Magpie says:

            Bit a long bow to suggest this would be a standard policy tactic. And what you don’t say is the retort from the target was political opportunism at its best (which is always its worst). From the story:

            Greens Senator Lidia Thorpe has apologised for telling a Liberal senator Hollie Hughes that “at least I keep my legs shut” during a fiery debate in the Senate.
            She had directed the comment to Senator Hughes in the chamber on Wednesday night, leading to an outcry from Coalition benches.

            Ms Hughes says she was dumbfounded and took the comments as a shot at her son who has autism, and not as a “slut-shaming” slur.

            No one would take the comment – as low as it was – as having anything to do with conceiving a child with autism, and for his mother to introduce him into the issue purely to heighten sympathy is deeply disgusting opportunism.

            They all deserve each other, but partisan and wildly inaccurate tub thumping by the likes of you doesn’t help anyone.

          • Jenny Wren says:

            Agreed ‘Pie, it is not acceptable and it has been a rotten year but, as one says traditionally, “Happy New Year”. I hope you have a good 2022.

          • The Magpie says:

            And you too, Jenny.

  32. The Magpie says:


    As if waiting hours wasn’t enough, you get shafted in the end.

    And it seems that the TCC has ex-Astonisher journos working in their media department. If you’re heading out for the fireworks tonight, hope you enjoy yourself in an apparently new location by the bay.

Post a Comment to Mike Douglas

The Magpie encourages all to take part in the discussion and let their voice be heard.
In order to post a comment, you must provide a name. While you don't have to use your real name, it should be something unique so users can identify you in the discussion. Generic names like “Anonymous” will likely result in your comment being ignored.
Let the discussion begin!

Current ye@r *

Countdown until the next council election:

-861Days -23 -1 -28