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The Magpie

Sunday, March 31st, 2019   |   207 comments

Has The Smile Been Wiped Off His Face? Word Is a Townsville High Flyer has Been Turfed Out Of The Marital Mansion For … errr … Improper Use Of His Desk-Top At Work.

It’s the sort of tittle-tattle normally well outside the interests of the Magpie’s Nest, but in this case, if it’s true, there is good reason to mention it.

Also, the courtiers and the Emperor’s new clothes: our ‘leadership’s’ disgraceful denial of reality … instead of addressing Townsville’s parlous state, they’re all pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s a gutless floundering display, so, The Magpie let’s the real figures do the talking  – the ones you NEVER see in the Bulletin.

Now we are starting to see the extent of News Corpse desperation locally … you won’t believe their latest advertising rates for property.

Also … why isn’t anyone talking about the investigation into the cause of the severity of the floods? The Magpie has uncovered two aspects that lead directly back to George Street. There is a very suspicious silence all round.

Same applies to the on-going investigation into Mayor Mullet’s Adani connection.

Plus another look at the photoshop of the decade … and a few others laughs to lighten us up in these grim times …

But first …

The Perils Of Pauline

Good help has never been harder to find, as Senator P Hanson has just found out. It’s especially hard when they raid the booze cupboard.

Ashby and Dixon

James Ashby has always been a scheming, unpleasant little turd – just ask former Speaker Peter Slipper, or former politician Mal Brough, or, for that matter, some of the youngsters this slimy individual hooked up with back in the days of the Sovereign Hotel when it was Townsville’s gay pub. So it is oh-so-apt that he has been publicly caught with his pants down, a situation many young lads - very young lads – in the Townsville gay scene can attest was his favourite stance.

So it was no little surprise but a great deal of glee that many who knew this political shyster back in his Townsville days learnt of his amateurish too-clever-by-half adventures with the moneymen of the NRA in the United States.  The One Notion Queensland twerp Steve Dixon added to the fun.

The musing on the gotcha tape by an undercover ‘civilian journalist’ have been detailed endlessly elsewhere, but the tremulous, stuttering faux outrage from his boss – it was a set up, Pauline quavered, ‘conspiracy’ involving the ABC which a dumb media swallowed ‘hook line and sinker’ – showed she really had got her burka in a bunch. And well she might – the timing could not have been worse, indeed, it does beg the question about the sudden release of the doco, three years in the making – but the reaction in the electorate is hard to predict. The diehard whack jobs who vote for One Notion will probably do so again, but converts are unlikely. Bentley explains best why young James shouldn’t be fooling around with guns.

Shooters- fin

Speaking Of Fooling Around – The Rumour Du Jour

It has long been established that, along with boats, jets, mansions and exotic drugs, two of the most expensive habits of the rich and fatuous are slow racehorses and fast women. On the latter matter, extra-curricular rumpy-pumpy can turn out to be more expensive than all the others put together.

This fact of life in the upper echelons is said to be slowly coming home to one of Townsville’s most prominent and entrenched members of our Gilded Few. Our bloke is said to have been unceremoniously ordered out of the family home, the missus taking a somewhat dark view of his allowing one of his administration assistants administer to his needs a little too enthusiastically. Like recent scurrilous talk about a recent TCC CEO’s desk top being used for purposes for which it was not intended, our man is said to have apparently used his corporate table to play hide the sausage.

Seems our bloke is now ensconced in a deluxe suite in one of the Townsville’s swishest hotels – yes, yes, The ‘Pie knows those three words don’t make sense together but you get the drift.

But why has The Magpie gone against his general rule and gone all Daily Mail on such a salacious and ostensibly private matter?

Well, it seems there is a touch of hypocrisy to be accounted for, because the bloke in question is – as a sideline to his main business – involved at a high level with a popular sector of the entertainment business. And it is a sector which has just brought down some draconian rules regarding the behaviour of its entertainers when they are out of the public eye. The administration of this popular entertainment sector has, with good reason, formulated guidelines that must be followed on the pain of heavy financial fines, not being allowed to continue entertaining if thought to be in breach of these rules, and under certain circumstances, can even have their careers abruptly ended. It seems to be something that this sector is often embroiled in, since their entertainers are generally young, none too bright, and are paid eye-watering sums of money to display their talents.

But this bloke is no spring chicken or youngster sowing wild oats – and he is in a position to make rulings on complaints about his entertainers if they get into strife. Which automatically means that he should be judged by a higher standard, and should lead by example. An ageing husband and father is not setting any sort of example by knocking of a hot tootsie after hours in the office.

But this sort of behaviour seems endemic in this particular entertainment sector of Townsville. A few years back, a colleague of this bloke, super wealthy, married and a father, canoodled around with a woman whom he promised to leave home for. And he did leave home – briefly. He returned sheepishly to the fold lickety-split when he found out the break-up caused by his bonking ambitions was going to cost him somewhere in the order of $22million.

This person has only partially reformed. Although still at home, he has lately been fucking over state and federal politician for millions of taxpayer dollars.

This Speaks For Itself

The ‘Pie has just been informed by a real estate chum that the Bulletin’s property pages have slashed their going rate BY 66%!!

When a publication is financially predicated on property market advertising income, that should ring alarm bells in all sorts of places, not the least bank board rooms.

Perhaps this from the ever-reliable Conus Group that arrived during the week may explain the Bulletin’s desperate move but that they have been unwilling to share with us.

190312 1903123In this graph, all the north is in trouble. The Conas report shows while Cairns approvals on trend down a disastrous 45.5% last year, Townsville’s trend dived even deeper, with a new record low of just 32 approvals, a 53.3% slide. Little wonder advertising rates are under review. The ‘rivers of gold’ are in severe drought.

Why, Oh Why, Do They Do It?

The Alice in Blunderland re-election campaign continues apace, conjuring up Lewis Carroll’s famous Humpty Dumpty dictum to Alice: ‘When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.’

This is a dictum we get daily in the Astonisher, when they print unchecked the absolute tosh coming from those desperate to keep their cushy number on the council plush. Which is generally good for a laugh but it is simply so insulting.

Here’s Les Messagebank Walker, our deputy Doo Dah on the Seaview getting a bit of a unremarkable renovation.

‘Planning and Development Committee chair, Deputy Mayor Les Walker, said Townsville’s growing economy would receive ­another boost when Sydney’s Paul Irvin Hotel Group revitalised one of the city’s favourite pubs.’

Our growing economy? This is a bloke who has a say in Planning and Development, but seems to be suffering a chronic case of Delayed Development of the upper storey? But he isn’t finished yet “There is a growing interest from businesses looking at opportunities in Townsville and projects like this build momentum to attract further investment to our city.

He seems that on the day the paper interviewed him, his Learn A New Word A Day desk calendar featured the word ‘growing’, but he has yet to grasp its meaning. But he hasn’t cornered the market on ripe tripe, that lion’s share still goes to the mayor, hard on the campaign trail. She has told the Astonisher she will be running again for mayor, with the threat that she still has ‘unfinished business to complete’. Short of her going beserk with a  Army flame thrower, God knows what that means, not sure what else she has to finish off.

Apart from enlightening us that a zipline and a food truck (pop-up café to her) on Castle Hill and a look-out platform on Mt Louisa will have tourists flocking in from all points of the compass, she just couldn’t help herself from bubbling over with the prediction that the suddenly council-approved motor sport centre out in the scrub south-west of the city would make Townsville the motorsport capital of Northern Australia.’ (Sigh) oh, purleeese!

This sort of oily verbal effluent is going to be a staple of the local media for another year, but The Astonisher itself has decided that this is a good … and cheap … ploy to win the hearts and minds of readers. With appallingly self-serving – and free – crapola like this:

Screen Shot 2019-03-31 at 12.48.44 am

To yet again quote Mandy Rice Davies all those years ago: ‘Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he?’

Gone To Water, The Lot Of hem

Why does there appear to be a distinct lack of urgency by our alleged leadership about the inquiry into what caused the worst disaster in this city’s history? Early last month, the grandly-titled shiny bum, the Inspector General of Emergency Management has been appointed to ‘assess the preparedness and response to the floods’. So it has been variously and informally been termed an ‘assessment’, ‘a review’, and an ‘inquiry’. But not a question asked about its progress or process, by the Astonisher or anybody else. With this lot, Noah would still be waiting for his please explain to be answered.

Silly question about the lack of urgency, of course, but you’d think if Mayor Mullet is as blameless as she says she is, she would be screaming bloody blue murder both privately and publicly for the findings to be published to exonerate her. The council decision last week to take back operation of the dam and not renew Sunwater’s long standing contract seemed curious, although the council said it had nothing to with recent events, oh, dearie me, no, you old silly, we’d been talking about that for some months.

Maybe, but interesting timing.

However, two matter has come to The ‘Pie’s attention which could explain why Premier Alphabet will be in no hurry to get any answers, apart from any possible culpability of Sunwater. An experienced engineer, once involved at the highest level in Townsville water matters, has suggested to The ‘Pie two issues which would’ve played a major role in what is best termed the ‘over-flooding’.

The first are the works on the Bowen Road bridge, where a form of shoring up was in use, and was not taken down prior to the foreseeable rise of the Ross River. This work would’ve caused a big problem even in a normal wet season of average river flooding.

But a far more major factor was the recently built Port Road, which was built up one to three metres above the flood plain, without adequate thought given to measures to allow flood waters escape. This road, to the east of all the suburbs flooded in the city, effectively formed a massive levee several kilometres long, allowing floods to back up.

Screen Shot 2019-03-31 at 12.55.06 am

Prior to the Port Road being built, the engineer said all floodwaters used to disperse out over kilometres of flood plain on the way to the sea … now the Port Road has proved to be a major impediment, with the Bruce Highway and Ring Road helping form a massive backed up lake..

Main Roads and the Palaszczuk government have been dead quiet on this issue, and are no doubt in little rush to have any such findings published. Then the bill could be in the tens if not hundreds of millions to the government, which, if you need to be reminded, is all tax payer money. And the insurance companies will no doubt have something to say, too. The council will need to do some fast talking as it was they who approved many of the devastated subdivisions.

But even so, it all goes back to the crucial question of the timing of the water release.

But Don’t Expect Anything Too Soon

These government things, especially when some time is purposely allowed to pass to blunt any adverse impact, move at a pace that makes a glacier look like Usain Bolt.

So simply by way of illustration, consider this. In comments during the week, it was mentioned, as exclusively revealed in this blog, that Mayor Jenny Hill is under active investigation for her links to Adani and her itinerary on her Indian trip sponsored by her mate Gutem Adani.

That investigation, still ongoing, was the result of dogged and determined agitating by blog regular Philip Batty, who was just as incensed by being lied to and given the bum’s rush by bureaucracy as he was about his initial beliefs of impropriety. He explained it is this comment on the issue.

The Real Philip Batty 

“Just by way of update:-

Investigation has been declined, then accepted, closed, reopened passed from CCC to the Department of Local Government and now sits with the Office of the Independent Assessor.

20-30 emails and letters exchanged, RTI application to CCC “refused”, RTI application to DLG “refused/redacted”, referred to the Office of Information Commissioner decisions supported as “still under investigation”

Office of Information Commissioner advised they expect to finalise the matter in May of this year.

I wait with bated breath”

Hope Springs Eternal In The Human Breast … And In The Human Wallet

Baffling and disturbing bit of research trivia for the week. It’s from cairnseconomy site, and is a regular barometer of various things … including this:


Weird, eh?

Photoshops Of The Week

World leaders are always fair game … and like they say, a pic is worth a thousand words. This one says it all in  two words.

May fi

But without a doubt, the photoshop of the week came when someone posted a pic of a weird carrot they had grown.

Carrot cock

It then made an hilarious transformation, its accuracy confirmed by Stormy Daniels.

carrot trump

The ‘Pie will pause briefly here while you scrub your eyeballs with a wire brush.

Which Leads Inevitably To …

… the week in Trumpistan. Naturally, the emphasis was on the Mueller Report, which was handed over during the week. Trump said it ‘completely exonerated’ him – it didn’t, it just said he had not colluded with the Russians during his election campaign. He still has a few matters to answer, as Stephen Colbert pointed out.

Screen Shot 2019-03-27 at 1.11.59 pm

The Democrats were biting their lips that the report hasn’t been the slam-dunk impeachment vehicle they had hoped for, but they’ve still got plenty to be going on with.

stg032519_color 73_223199 2_158 14_29 141_223188 139_223201 cb032519dapr 253_223138 cbr032419dapr 226_223152 15_27 cjones03292019 5_111

And Finally …

Worth remembering in the run-up to ANY election …

Repeating history54268132_2335516473147263_5936860055478468608_n


That’s yer lot for another week, but the comments section, which accepts contributions 24/7, is fun, feisty, firey and often just silly amusement, do join in. And if you think this weekly effort worthy of your support, a donation would be of great assistance, the how to donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Mayor Mullet disclosed on Paul Murray live she was being investigated ( is that Adani airstrip or Floods ?) and had been briefed by lawyers before appearing on the show . Then there’s Cathy Otoole and $500k legal stoush with Clive , investigation into the floods , possible class action idalia developers, Lancini Fairfield Central, Council + State Government approval of the development by residents who were flooded . Have I missed anything ?.

  2. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Both Conus and Cairns Economy are wonderful websites producing accurate data for the Cairns region and use Townsville as a comparison on occasions, they do a great service to the community. We need people like this in Townsville, producing accurate data without favour or influence to give the community an accurate state of the economy in Townsville. Last week Conus produced a graph which showed Cairns has now 20,000 more people employed than Townsville, a staggering amount, with the largest areas being retail and construction, no surprises there as both of these are representative of private investment, and that is what has really colllapsed in Townsville, but still the gullible masses in Townsville continue on, oblivious to it all, thinking govt spending will turn things around.

    • NqGal says:

      I work in the building sector and confirm the dire situation of new home construction. There are quite a few builders who haven’t had a new home sale since the start of the year. The flood has been a bit of a blessing for local builders.

    • Mike Douglas says:

      Cantankerous , those Cairns jobs numbers are confronting but Cairns Mayor Manning is a busines person vs Labor Mayor Mullet who delivered Adele the Impailer and the Screaming midget whose social media profile says he is still in his T.C.C. position . Manning isn’t a director of LGIA who promote using out of town approved suppliers vs local businesses . How much time does the Mullet spend on PR and suppressing any negativities .

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Indeed Mike and it’s no accident. Sleepy Manning is not like the Mulllet and not interested in being partners with business and having his head in the paper everyday. He gets out of the way of business and allows them to invest and operate without interference, he doesn’t demand shovel photos and social endorsement like the shallow Jenny Hill, this alone would put any business off coming to Townsville. We need to find our own Bob Manning to stand in Townsville and frankly the business community needs to grow a pair and come out and condemn Jenny Hill and her failure to attract private investment to Townsville.

        • The Magpie says:

          Peter Tapiolas has already done that, but Pete running for mayor would bring the ferals out in force … a developer as mayor is seen in some quarters as the fox given the keys to the henhouse. And there certainly could be grounds for concern about general attitude to policy and protection for the genuinely vulnerable. Point is blokes like PT, LL (yeah, like he’d bother) and Peter Honeycombe know that if they were so unwise as to aspire to office, they would virtually be unable to continue as developers without ending up in endless legal challenges and shit fights, and 2: in any event, get their arses kicked at the ballot box by an electorate majority that has been Pavlov trained to hold out the begging bowl of entitlement for government money.

          • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

            Thinking about alternate Mayors (preferably people who are not grubby little developers) has anyone looked at Pat Brady?

            Seems a good guy, quiet achiever and with solid community experience – on the Port Authority Board, now chairing the Mater Board. Also, as far as I know, a relative cleanskin in terms his behaviour.

            Just a passing thought.

          • The Magpie says:

            Would he want to, though? And if so, why?

  3. One legged tap dancer says:

    Very interesting blog Pie (as usual).
    Regarding the big wheel who has been turfed out by his missus, if its the bloke I think it is he’s been at it for years. His infidelity is common knowledge in his “field” of endeavour. The only surprise is that his missus has only just woken up.
    His colleague was turfed out of the family home a few years back after being sprung playing hide the sausage with an employee in his office early one morning.
    Seems the need for old codgers to get it off with young female employees (and others) goes with the territory in their game.
    As for the “review” into the flood disaster, it will be interesting to see if they ask the local police representative on the disaster committee what he knows about who caused a billion dollars worth of damage. I understand the police were so concerned about decisions being made (or not being made in respect of the opening of the dam gates) that they recorded the meetings, with the knowledge of all committee members.
    So there is no shortage of evidence as to who said or did what.
    The question is, will they want to hear it.

    • The Magpie says:

      They would surely have no choice but to hear it.

    • Ducks nuts says:

      Just out of curiosity…. would one of these blokes have had a thing going with a certain foul mouthed bottle blonde with a big arse who recently left town?
      Rumors were flying at one stage he was trying to leave the Mrs for the bottle blonde. Only… ooops… was going to cost him a packet.

    • The Rolling Eye says:

      Nobody knows.
      Nobody cares.

  4. Scotty says:

    A well place little bird tells me that the dam gates were manually opened to avoid an automatic opening 2 or so hours later. Said bird was in the room when this decision was made.

  5. fwyp says:

    Dear ‘Pie,

    I have been an avid reader even from your print days. And I appreciate all the Trump cartoons, as one of my kids unfortunately lives in the Good Old U S of A.

    However I am an old bloke and a believer in gender equality in some of its forms. I therefore hope that a future photoshopped photo will be published of a female of the species, with some form of deformed dried fruit (?) in the same way Trump has been shown with the deformed carrot.

    Preference should perhaps be given to an ex-female PM, Premier, Deputy Premier or perhaps even a Mayor. A scary thought.

    And to prove my longevity, I just dragged out the original of your opinion page in the TB on 24/7/2010 with the headline about Julia: FLYING START.
    Subtly changed so as to produce a fairly different headline if the first letters are folded over. I still laughed as I got it out again

    Keep up the good work, most appreciated.

  6. sir ossis o'fliver says:

    Can’t understand all this talk of unemployment in Townsville.

    Seems to be no end of work for Artistic Impressionists.

  7. Over this Hill mob says:

    The Bulletin journalists are either weak or hopeless re the DriveIT facility and the battery plant. Both are stated to be located 40km from the city along the Flinders Highway. Is one of these proposals fake? Are both? Or are they going to be located on the same site which has never been mentioned?

    • The Magpie says:

      Ummm, say sorry to the nice journalists at the Astonisher please. For a paper that makes so many errors, it is not fair or productive to try to ping them when they get it right.

      This from March 23 TB:

      A JOINT solution is being planned to deal with increased traffic at the site planned for the Townsville battery factory.

      The route is on the Flinders Highway at Woodstock.

      At the rear where Imperium3 plans to build the $2 billion factory, there a separate plans for a motorsport facility.

      DriveIT NQ has lodged a development application with Townsville City Council already for its site.

      However, with the battery plant expected to face the highway and the motorsport precinct at the rear, the two businesses would share the access route.

      There is access to both places now but with increased traffic, the intersection would have to upgraded.

      DriveIT NQ chairman Pat Driscoll met with representatives from Imperium3 this week (on march20) to discuss the issue.

      “It is our understanding that the access they need is the access we need,” he said.

      “We have agreed that we will sign a heads of agreement so that we will stage our peak traffic times around there’s.”

      Mr Driscoll said DriveIT would continue to work with Imperium3 to come up with a suitable solution to upgrade access to the two sites.

      “There’s good synergy between the two of us,” he said.

      “If they want to test their electrical cells in vehicles they’ve got a track right next door.”

      • Dearie Me says:

        All we need now is a tyre manufacturing plant

      • Over this Hill mob says:

        My apology bulletin journalists. But what about the cattle feedlot at the same site. I thought that was the only guaranteed development for the site considering the council changed the planning scheme when they approved the application.

        This also from the bulletin:

        Council backs plan for major live cattle export facility

        Date published: 27 October 2015

        Townsville City Council has approved a proposal that will secure a major live cattle export facility and open the door to further development on the expansive Lansdowne Property it owns near Woodstock.

        The council today gave a conditional green light to the sale of 161.3 hectares of the 2200 hectare property to the current lease holder Wellard Rural Exports Pty Ltd to develop the facility.

        As part of the plan, Wellard will also be granted a short term lease over a buffer area adjoining the facility site, but in return will relinquish a lease over the wider Lansdowne holding, freeing it up for other development.

        Mayor Cr Jenny Hill said the plan would protect the DECAMAG lease on the Lansdowne holding and open up other areas of the property for compatible agriculture based industries.

        “The proposal offers the best possible outcome for Townsville and demonstrates the value of the council making strategic land purchases,” Cr Hill said

        “By acquiring Lansdown for $2.5 million 15 years ago, the council secured a strategic land that is now paying economic dividends for the city with this project, and more yet to come.

        “The deal gives the community an immediate financial return on its investment, and economic boost from the new facility, and frees up the remainder of Lansdown for new development.

        Planning and Development Committee chairman Cr Tony Parsons said the project would establish Townsville as a major cattle export hub for northern Australia.

        “Wellard plans to build a multi-million dollar state-of-the-art export facility with minimal environmental impacts, to sell the region’s cattle to the ever expanding Asian markets,” Cr Parsons said.

        “The company can only make an investment of that size if it has security of freehold title and confidence that the surrounding land uses will be compatible in the long term.”

        The council will provide Wellard with a new short term lease over buffer areas adjoining the proposed facility, but will have the right to terminate the lease early to make land available for other compatible development opportunities.

        Council’s backing is subject to Government approvals and due diligence enquiries by Wellard.

        The new live export facility is expected to create 25 direct jobs, generate significant economic spin-offs for suppliers, and provide the staging point for the shipment of cattle through the Townsville Port.

        The council will seek Ministerial delegation for the land sale to Wellard from the Queensland Government to obviate the need for a public tender and facilitate the development.

        Wellard will also be allowed to utilise and relocate existing bores to ensure access to water.

        Changes will also be made to the City Plan to reflect the land uses proposed for the council’s Lansdown holding.

        • The Magpie says:

          Not sure you’re right about being at the same site. Anyway, what about it? As The ‘Pie remembers (only vaguely), think there was a bit of a stand-off or some sort argy bargy with the Cox family concerning the entrance road into this proposal. Don’t know where its all at now, and not sure how it ties in with the prosed and probably still disputed holding yards at Stuart/Oak Valley. Ask the Bulletin, that’s their job, you know, on their own admission they’re are ‘not afraid and will ask the questions you want answered’. See if they’re as good as their word.

          • Lesley Jogger says:

            Oak Valley Cattle yards were rejected by council this week

          • Over this Hill mob says:

            It is this line in the article that makes me thing it is the same site –

            Mayor Cr Jenny Hill said the plan would protect the DECAMAG lease on the Lansdowne holding and open up other areas of the property for compatible agriculture based industries.

            DECAMAG became DriveIT. And I struggle to believe a lithium battery plant is a compatible agriculture based industry.

            Unsure on Cox, other than usual competitor disagreements.

            Goes back to my original point that the bulletin journos need to be better at challenging anything that comes out of this council.

  8. J Paul says:

    The army it seems would have been better tasked to actually blow up the Port Access Road instead of the dam wall .

  9. Critical says:

    J Paul I’ve heard a couple times now that the army had charged and was on stand-by to blow up a saddle dam wall (think that’s what it’s called) out Toonpan way if a certain level of water was reached in Ross Dam and to save the main dam wall. This water would have flowed into the Bohle River but council had no maps which to predict which parts of the Upper Ross suburbs, Kirwan, Deeragun, Burdell and Bushland Beach would have been flooded. I wonder how much of this is true and if it is true, then the community and developers must know so that they can make informed future decisions.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Check your sources and have them check theirs. Some things do not add up for me. Toonpan is to the East of the dam. For any water to flow into the Bohle and the Upper Ross the dam wall would have the be breached on the Western side vicinity of Pinnacles. In any case breaching the dam wall any where seems to me (I could be wrong) a bit far fetched now that the dam has radial gates for water release. Perhaps prior to the gates, but not know surly to goodness.

      Who are your sources and can you give a lat/long for where the breach was to occur?
      Also, why the Army? Preparing such a demolition charge to breach a dam wall is of mining proportions and takes preparation and time. I thought it would be a task for a mining civil engineer.

      I do suspect this could be an urban myth. Please provide more detail and your sources. Thanks.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie tends to agree with you, but these things will always pop up when we remained uninformed about the progress of a matter to which we are ENTITLED to be informed.

      • Dave Sth says:

        Yeah sounds like what I know as reserve dems and to prep it wouldn’t be a quick thing so from someone who has worked with bang at a grunt level but only ever once supporting at the RAE level on some bridge blows/route destruction sounds sus.

        I doubt they would have had the time even if attempted, as I remember I landed on one of the last flights in & events were evolving very fast as I was in transit. Also it would likely have been an excavation charge usually using ANFO (Ammonium Nitrate Fuel Oil being Diesel). There would have huge issues with moisture as Ammonium Nitrate absorbs moisture & if too wet won’t function or partially function spewing out volumes of Nitrous Oxides. Let alone drilling the prep holes.

        Am open to correction from better informed members.

        • The Magpie says:

          Stop showing off … all that sounds like an eight year old talking to his grandfather about the internet.

          • Dave Sth says:

            Sorry pie, believe it or not I know enough to get myself in trouble hence the disclaimer about being open to correction. ;-)

      • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

        It would be a great yarn if it were true.

        Seems to include elements of multiple thingos:

        From what I understand, parts of the Flinders Highway at Toonpan is built to be fractionally lower than the “critical failure” point of the Ross Dam to ensure that the road overtops before the dam – assuming the water is not inflowing too fast to escape (I was getting twitchy with the speed of the rising and considering the potential speed of outflow). This would have the effect of wetting the good people of Majors Creek, Mt Elliott and probably washing Giru out to sea – hence it not being spoken of in polite company.

        There are saddle / reserve dams which increase the elevation of some parts of the back of Ross Dam to increase impoundment. There could be removed if required, BUT would have needed amphibious access and waterproof equipment to work in the conditions – was never going to happen. They are more a long-term option to change the characteristics of the major dam.

        There, clear as mud?

    • Bentley says:

      Critical, we’ve heard a lot of rumours, speculation, accusations, and dodgy predictions. The long wait for the report of the facts will no doubt give those responsible a dose of amnesia in the hope of escape from retribution. But all this aside, we must know by now why the gates were not opened a couple of hours before low tide, and who was responsible for the procrastination. I’ve not heard anything from a reliable source. Anybody??????

      • Critical says:

        So many rumours and opinions out there so all the more reason to push to get an independent public inquiry started, finished and findings handed down asap so that everyone knows the truth, lessons can be learnt relevant planning for the future can be undertaken and the community move ahead.

  10. J jones says:

    Cowboys are struggling on and off the field by the looks

  11. J Paul says:

    Yep, no reliable source and one would hope a Plan B in case the gates didn’t suffice. But if true, the part of the wall closest to Round Mtn. would be the obvious choice where the water would drain into the Bohle. Maybe, also if true, it will be Dave of Cleveland Bay commenting on this page next time.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      In that event you are right about the change of address. Loss of life and property would be catastrophic. On current trends there probably would not be an investigation.
      When I first arrived everything west of then Upper Ross River Rd was called the Bohle flood plane. Funny how they do not call it that now.

      • Hear Deah says:

        Is the Bohle flood plains near Kylinda, North Shaw and Burdell????

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          I understood that the term referred to that part of the Bohle River west of the Upper Ross. Those 3 suburbs did not exist in the 1970s but I suppose you could include them as part of the Bohle flood plane.

  12. Dam Busters says:

    I was reliably informed by a parent of a member of the disaster management Committee that the army were on standby to blow a hole in the dam because there was serious concern the dam wall could breach.

    Now whether you want to believe it or not what chance is there the army will lie to any formal enquire in order to protect the Mullet or anyone else responsible for the questionable management of the dam during this disaster.

    • The Magpie says:

      None, in The ‘Pie’s reading of it. And why would the Army lie … or have we read you incorrectly, and that is what you’re saying?

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Please go back to that parent for us. They should be a rich mine of information on the time line and decision making that went on in the Disaster Committee. Keen to see the Risk Assessment re breaching the dam wall and all aspects re dam gates opening. Finally some info.

      • The Magpie says:

        That’s the first mention (apart from Magpie speculation based on previous hush-hush work on the dam more than 10n years ago) about gthe possibility that the dam might fail. That really is serious stuff if that possibility was raised, and cannot be squirrelled away. Otherwise this council and this government vreally are playing fast and loose with not just the property but the lives of the people in the path of such a breach. Even an official word that it is all bullshit … and why it is bullshit … is now needed that the very serious allegation has been made. DB may be a ratbag for all we know … but on the other hand …

    • Golden Dog says:

      That is true, we were down at the Annandale Central shops talking to local troop who said they were tasked to do that job.

  13. J Paul says:

    Right lets have our own inquiry!
    What has changed since the dam was built?
    What has changed since night of Noah?

    1) Port Rd and associated bridge built.
    2)Fairfield Waters – salt pan and swamp infill
    3)Ross Ck blocked off and Queens Rd dump built.
    4)Parts of Hermit Park have never been flooded (till now) in the history of Townsville even when the Ross and Bohle Rivers joined forces to wash Lionie Turner’s cattle out into the bay and Maggie Island from Burdel.
    Who made the decisions?
    Who benfitted?
    Who was in charge?

    Pretty simple really to work out what went wrong and who stuffed up.

    Possible solutions for consideration in your final report.
    Get NQ born and bred engineers that understand the conditions to manage the dam.
    If the final solution is to blow the arse end out of the dam, perhaps a spillway and associated drain into the Bohle. Bit hard on the farmers up that way, but since when has that been a consideration of labor politicians.
    Relocate the Diaster Management Centre to Fairfield waters. Self preservation is a high motivator.
    We await your decision Ladies annd Gentlemen. I am sure Magpie is prepared to act as Chairman and moderator (previous experience

    • The Magpie says:

      Seems the meds kicked in mid-sentence.

    • Old tradesman says:

      You forgot 3 items, (1) The railway line at Cluden was lifted 400mm for the Tilt Train with no culverts fitted, I know some Turf Club committeemen who disputed this at the time and were told to go jump by QR as they were saving money for Ms Bligh. (2) The new overpass should have been built on pylons, but alas, dirt was cheaper thus a new dam. (3) Gordon Creek at Oonoonba is silted and full of fill by the previous owner, but not allowed to be cleaned out as the greenies have found a crab with hundreds of nippers and won’t allow this to take place.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Old tradesman you are 100% correct. The initial restriction was created by the existing rail line through Idalia and Oonoonba. As someone who had to wade through water up to my stomach to get in and out of my place I took particular notice of the height of the water west of the rail line and east of the line. This is also evident by the lack of flooding of homes in the old part of Oonoonba, east of the line verses the widespread flooding before the line, even the old Oonoonba store stayed dry whilst everything west of the line went under, the water just simply couldn’t escape through the very restricted culverts and creeks under the rail line.

      • J Paul says:

        Was hoping someone knew more. Cheers

    • Wombat Kisser says:

      JP – was not Queens Road dump closed decades before the Night of Noah? I was living in Sooning Street on that night and the dump was not open then – it was merely leaching chemicals and heavy metals into the creek.

    • Mike Shearer says:

      Anyone know of aerial photos of the port bypass bridge, and the flood plains to the west, when the floods were at their highest, showing whether the port road and the railway line were actually acting as dams?

      When the port road bridge design was first made public it was criticised because it would restrict floodwaters.

  14. Mark Harvey says:

    The IGEM review of the flood event was still taking public submissions until today (www.igem.qld.gov.au) so there is no possibility that the report could have been released by now.

    Many people seem to have formed the opinion that the dam was incorrectly operated and there are already suggestions that the review will be biased. I hope that when the report comes out that people will refrain from comment until they have read and understood what will no doubt be a long and detailed account of a very complex operation.

    • The Magpie says:

      Understand that, Mark, but The ‘Pie’s concern was that it seems to have gone into the ether, with no interim updates on progress, no basic PR on such an important subject, and mentioning it in the blog was one way of making sure people know we are waiting for answers. Your other points are well taken.

    • Grumpy says:

      Mark, keep in mind that there were two enquiries into the 2011 Grantam floods – the second being a result of that despicable buffon Allan Jones abusing his position to stir up public sentiment against his sworn enemies, the Wagner family. When Sofronoff cleared the Wagner’s dam of all but neglible impact on the floodwaters, Jones found out the hard way that he is not beyond reproach and he can be called to account – $3.4 million plus costs of at least another $1.4.

      Also bear in mind that the second enquiry was not completed until nearly five years after the event.

      There are still those who believe that both enquiries were flawed and subjected to political interference.

  15. Ferret says:

    Hi Pie,

    You know the old story bad news and stuff you don not want noticed put out on a Friday afternoon
    Example :p > Friday, February 08, 2019 http://statements.qld.gov.au/Statement/2019/2/8/terms-of-reference-for-flood-review-released
    Closes Sunday 31st March 2019

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      Wonder why they refer to Gov Ministers (public servants) as the ‘Honourable’…..Seems to be a contradiction of terms there !

  16. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    I am wondering how many people knew that the IGEM was accepting public submissions and that they were closing on 31 March?

    I cannot recall seeing it published or widely advertised, either by IGEM, TCC, in the Astonisher, the three local MPs, or anywhere bought to the attention of the public/community. It just seems to have slipped through to the keeper without the general community being aware that the submission period had opened, how interested members of the public could go about making a submission, and when submissions had to be made by.

    I hope it hasn’t been deliberately kept on the hush hush. Perhaps I’m just turning into a bit of a conspiracy theorist but I thought it would have been given more coverage and promotion in our local media and by our political representatives.

  17. No More Dredging says:

    Article in The Conversation today might throw some light on the TBully’s irrelevance:


  18. Rusty Nail says:

    All this talk of floodgates opening automatically or, if not automatically, being opened by people who do not understand how and why they operate, and then having multiple inquiries to find someone to blame (rightly or wrongly – aint hindsight wonderful), has me wondering why floodgates are installed at all. Seems to me that if the water inflow to the dam is so great that its spillway is overtopped then it is wishful thinking to assume that additional inflow will always be sufficiently low to be fully held back by the floodgates without said floodgates needing to be opened – ultimately fully opened when the dam is about to burst – causing more extensive flooding than could possibly have been the case if there were no floodgates. Just a thought.

  19. Gonzo says:

    Pie, A great blog. You did a proper job on Ashby and Hanson, and the political party they call One Nation. You call it One Notion, and I call it Gun Nation. It doesn’t matter what you call it, they deserve whatever they get on this one. My only fear is that they’ll get away with it, like Trump got away with the Mueller Report. Let’s hope ScoMo actually does what he says he will do, and puts One Notion/Gun Nation below Labor on the how-to-vote cards. It doesn’t really matter because Bill Shorten is going to win the election. Richo, still the numbers man, says in The Australian today, Shorten is “the closest thing to a certain winner as I have seen. He may well finish up with a bigger majority than Bob Hawke ever achieved.” Cheers.

    • The Magpie says:

      Want a good investment, then? Try razor blade futures.

    • No More Dredging says:

      One worry, Gonzo, is that ScoMo’s undertaking about preferences does not apply to the LNP in Queensland. So it’s quite likely that those candidates who are really National Party types in LNP colours (like Geo Christensen) will do preference deals with One Nation. It’s not clear what Liberals dressed as LNP will do in electorates like Herbert – I recall from the last election that One Nation hardly ever had people handing out how-to-vote cards anyway. It’s surprising (or maybe not) how loyal and unquestioning PHON voters seem to be.

      • Old tradesman says:

        NMD, when is electric car Billy going to make it official that he will be relegating the greens below the LNP?

        • The Magpie says:

          And on that subject of electric cars, weird to drop this policy into the mix at this juncture, considering the whole mess of electricity prices and future sources are hotly disputed topics of debate at the moment … and clearly, The Short Un figures he’ll be in the Lodge putting his hand up young journalists skirts for the next 10 or so years.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Not all that weird, ‘Pie. I read somewhere recently that the UK will mandate to stop manufacturing internal combustion-engined cars (petrol and diesel) by either 2030 or 2040. Already, Norway sells 15+% electric cars. What are we waiting for? Australia’s Holdens and Fords were some of the poorest performing, highest polluting cars in the western world at the time they stopped making them. Apparently we don’t give a fuck and it shows.

          • The Magpie says:

            That is a wilful misreading of The ‘Pie’s point … FYI The Magpie knows and is encouraged that electric cars are the future (with the absolute side benefit of giving the Arabs second thoughts about financial blackmail and bullying) but it IS a weird bit of timing in Australia when a logical first step for The Short Un would be to put forward a coherent, plain speak and believable policy to alleviate the cost of CURRENT uses of electricity, without running off at the gob to grab green votes about ADDING to the burden on the grid.

            And your totally irrelevant comments about Ford and Holden is a typical example of your shadow boxing across the historical landscape for some cheap-shot electioneering. It is clear The ‘Pie will have to watch you closely in the next few weeks. But then, you being a Greens voter, you’re accustomed to being irrelevant anyway.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Typical NMD, lets quote the UK and Norway when referring to electric vehicles, both about the size of a postage stamp, ignorant tosser.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Cranky, we do not make cars in Australia. We import them from a number of countries that are all the size of a postage stamp – except China. Are you suggesting that because Australia is a big country we will not be able to use electric cars here? In twenty years almost all new cars and many, many trucks and construction equipment sold here will be fully electric.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, it looks to me like the Coalition is afraid to put forward actual policies around carbon abatement. It seems to be all grey and fuzzy about targets for reducing emissions in electricity generation and transport – leaving the field wide open for even the Labor Party to put up vaguely constructive policies. While our politicians dither and fiddle (and how else could their activities in this space be described?) other countries are actually doing stuff:

            “European countries have passed the most aggressive policies to tip the scales against gasoline and diesel. Norway, where 52% of new car sales were electric in 2017 [52%! – in a country spread thinly over nearly 2000kms], gifts EV buyers thousands of dollars in perks such as free or subsidized parking, tolls, and charging, as well as generous tax breaks. In the UK, where buyers also get tax breaks for clean vehicles, London is expanding an “ultra low emission zone,” imposing a £12.50 ($16.39) daily fee for cars deemed too polluting (generally conventional vehicles registered after 2005). These standards will go into effect next April [ie. now], and only tighten over time.”

            Talking up electric cars for Australia, a country that imports more than 1 million cars a year, just makes sense. It’s low hanging fruit. And somehow it looks a lot smarter and organised (and less desperate!) than handing out cash money to voters moments before an election.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        NMD , if I am correct One Nation votes in Herbert got Cathy Otoole across the line .

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          Correct! The Cathy and Pauline horse race. Pauline the horse carrying Cathy over the line. The ungrateful Cathy never acknowledges Pauline these days. Don’t know why.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Actually, Dave (and Mike), not really correct at all. If you look at the AEC website you will see that the preferences of every candidate except Family First and Liberal Democrat went more than 50%, sometimes 60+% to Cathy O’Toole. That includes the Katter Party, the Greens and One Nation. All of them contributed something

      • Linda Ashton says:

        I’d prefer no “how to vote” human barrage on polling day. If people don’t select candidates based on policies or have their vote locked in before they pick up the pencil, the notion of democratically elected governments is a farce. Just turn up, have your name identified on the electoral roll and collect the ballot paper/s you want. I know the harassment approach has an influential impact on the undecideds or clueless. Do we really need to keep this sales pitch tactic for the next 20 years?

  20. Dutch Reverend says:

    Apparently Mayor Mullet advises that a long term approach is key to economic recovery. ……. this should have been included in the Astonisher collection of April Fools Jokes.

    • The Magpie says:

      What? You mean she was serious? Nahhh, c’mon now.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie notes with deep agreement that one of Mayor Mullet’s wheedling election demands for Townsville is a somewhat vague catch-all ‘smart precinct’. Not to worry, Mullet m’dear, we’ll have one … at the end of next March and centred on Walker Street.

      • Dutch Reverend says:

        It’s another way of saying “we are broke and can’t do anything in the near future” but look we have pretty pictures and more empty promises. By the way, how far in the future is she talking about ?

  21. Linda Ashton says:

    The conspiracy theory about blasting the back wall of Ross Dam might make sense if there was actually a back wall. The dam supply flows back and spreads out over the flood plain (as per the original primary function – flood mitigation. That’s why the combined catchment plus dam total goes way over 100%. Flood water also flows to Toonpan and in the recent event saw the newly laid out pipes submerged. This information about the topography of Lake Ross has been freely available on WFTAG for 2 years.

    These links might also be of interest.

    Review of Ross River Dam (flood maps included)

    THE 2019 MONSOON RAINFALL AND FLOOD REVIEW (posted on WFTAG March 31st).

    The submissions for this review closed Sunday March 31st. WFTAG has not and will not make any comments about the process while it is being officially investigated. We have also not invited our members to discuss theories and opinions on our site since the event. Insurance claims must not be compromised and residents not stressed unnecessarily by conjecture.

    The terms of reference are attached. Thank you to those who responded to our earlier request for water levels and times in your suburbs-streets.

    Flood Review Terms of Reference



    • J Paul says:

      Linda,, Take a drive sometime and follow the wall past the dogleg to where it ties into Round Mtn. This is the back end of the dam where the country below this part of the wall slopes towards the Bohle River. Blasting here, (or better still having a diversion here, which is Farm Dam Building 101) would relieve the flow going through the gates.
      What’s WFTAG? (seriously)

      • WALLY says:

        Linda and others, while you are out there, drive down past the spillway till you come to the carpark with wooden stairs that lead to the top of the wall about opposite the mango farms. After climbing the stairs look around for padlocked caps on the plastic pipes that go straight down into the wall. With the caps removed explosives can be lowed into the pipes for detonation. You might also gain additional info from long term residents who were briefed by council/government staff during previous major event.

        • The Magpie says:

          How long you been on the loose, Wally?

        • Mick says:

          They are Piezometers Wally, to check if the dam is leaking. To blow a hole in the wall, you’d need way more explosives than those pipes could hold. I bet you believe there are huge bunkers under Mount Louisa filled with Sherman Tanks and B17’s too

          • The Magpie says:

            What? Thought a piezometer was what is used to measure this blog’s readership. (Actually, surprised to see it is a real word.)

      • Linda Ashton says:

        J Paul and Wally did you both submit your complementary explosive plans for improved flood mitigation management to the review panel by March 31st?

        No need to be patronising chaps. Who or what is WFTAG? No idea sorry. You can check them out.

        • Grumpy says:

          Really, Linda?

          “No need to be patronising’?????

          This, from the Queen of Condescension and Acaboofic Arrogance ?

          • J Paul (Chappy) says:

            Yeah Grumpy, it seems success (see Pie comment) goes to some people’s head. It was a truly innocent question re wftag (seriously). As I don’t have a faceache account or buy the bully and had no idea what the acronym wftag meant. Won’t be joining wftag either, had enough of that shit (from arrogant people) over the years. Cheers

          • Linda Ashton says:

            That academic tag really gets up your nose Grumps. As I’ve said before, I earned it, it means something original was added to my niche research area and I’m not giving the qualifications back. Get over it.

          • Grumpy says:

            Oh, Linda. There you go again.

            You really don’t have to keep reminding us how clever you are.

            You’re not

    • whykickamoocow says:

      Linda now that we have water security, what is the purpose of WFTAG?

      • The Magpie says:

        Before you get the predicted small novel of reply from Linda herself, allow The Magpie to point out that water security was just the launch pad for what can only be described as the most successful grass roots campaign and effective social media movement in Townsville’s history to openly discuss our water needs. And there are more issues than just the pipeline surrounding the treatment and delivery of the single most essential commodity in any community. The expertise is definitely there, and the debates are healthy if occasionally crack potty, and the following of about 15,000 is solid, if fractious. (And has attracted a few white ants as well, a testimony to its effectiveness).

        So allow The ‘Pie turn it back to you, and ask what is your problem? Perhaps you have a problem with a community group, gabby but engaging, keeping our elected officials on notice that they are being carefully watched in this area.

        • Linda Ashton says:

          No novel needed this time Pie. Sincerely thankyou for the acknowledgement.

          • Our ongoing role is reflected in the name change in January from Water for Townsville Action to Advocacy Group. Less lobbying, more education and discussion for the community especially around water conservation.

          • We continue to engage with senior pollies in both Fed groups to ensure stage 2 pipeline is not just a pipedream (a real possibility if Mayor is returned).

          • Contributing to the Business Case process and hopefully our recommended stage 2 infrastructure will inform the final design.

          Join and see for yourself. Lots more going on.

        • whykickamoocow says:

          Actually I wasn’t having a crack, it was a genuine question about what direction WFTAG intend to head in now that the pipeline is sorted.
          So, thank you both for the novel.

      • Linda Ashton says:

        My apologies moo. With the cynicism that had already been spewed I assumed incorrectly you were joining the fray. WFTAG has been mentioned in many of Pie’s blogs and I have often commented as the convenor or explained some aspects of our agenda, responding directly to questions here. Magpie has kindly had our blue and logo at the end of his blog for almost 2 years.

        He regularly gives the group stick and I’m used to being the punching bag for boofademic verbosity. He approves my comments though just to piss some readers off I suspect.

        WFTAG still has an activist role until the 70 km pipeline infrastructure is funded, locked in and sod turned. The community education role can continue as long as interest is sufficient and our admin and tech members have the time and energy to commit. I will send a jpg of our 4 guiding aims to the blog boss. He might add it here.

        We like everyone here are just ratepayers and worked hard to have an informed community voice and influence in this politically manipulated water security upgrade. If that contribution, which required guts, spine and other anatomical attributes isn’t appreciated and occasionally even ridiculed – so be it.

  22. Critical says:

    Can’t find the names, positions and organizations of the members of the flood review team. Does anyone know this information?

    • No More Dredging says:

      Critical, it’s not clear that there is or ever will be a “team”. This ‘review’ is not a commission of inquiry, a court case or some sort of star chamber. The IGEM is a small (22 person) administrative group within the QG public service. Paper will be shuffled, advice will be sought, time will be taken and reports will be written. Mundane and orderly, the way government likes it.

      • Linda Ashton says:

        The possible class action might see a different level of paper shuffling and some insurance companies are delaying, possibly looking for loopholes.

  23. Plannit Townsville says:

    Popped up Facebook and LinkedIn…
    Don’t forget to give TCC feedback on its corporate plan


    • The Magpie says:

      UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!! It doesn’t get much more insulting than this.


      A box ticking piece of insulting idiocy … a dozen or so Dorothy Dixers with which you can strongly agree through to strongly disagree, with a 50 word comment box for each … framed in such a way that one could not disagree with these hifaultin’ proposition fashioned from meaningless buzz words. Straight out of the Carey Ramm survey text book … ask questions to get a pre-determined outcome. Come to think of it, it’s a fair bet the whole obfuscating farrago was probably put together by his TEC mob anyway. Not a shred of detail of specifics on how the various bright shiny future aspirations are intended to be achieved, just bright shiny aspirations borrowed from la-la land with which no one could possibly disagree.

      The Magpie cannot think of one single reason to play along with this self-serving cynical waste of time and money, because inevitably, any responses will be doctored using the same formula. Disgusting.

      This typifies council’s smart-arse response to being officially told that the council operates a culture of secrecy, and is designed to create the illusion that the council have nothing but lofty albeit almost impossible and in some cases, meaningless, aspirations for the city’s future. What fucking else could they have? What we want a say in is how do we get there … and we’ll have that say next March.

      This is more insulting than the average Astonisher iditorial. We really have to get rid of power hungry, damaging politics out of the governance of our city.

      • Gubberment says:

        Woah old Bird! If people don’t respond to this, the manipulative fuckers that devised this “engagement ” they will claim no one responded and they can keep this pathetic document which will guide the council to “implement” Team Mullet policies. Because if you look closely that’s what this crock of shit is based on.
        So respond. Respond 15 times if you have to. Tell them what you think.
        Legislatively council MUST consult the community on the corporate plan rewrite. Last rewrite they did not and breached the legislation. And if they must consult, then they must keep the responses. Doesn’t mean they take heed or change the plan. But they must keep a record of the responses in the councils document management system. A right to information request can then be put in by the public asking for the responses.

        However if council were smart ( and we all know they aren’t) they would provide feedback to the community with a “you said” and “we are responding by”…

        So provide feedback. Tell them what a crock of shit this plan is. Or tell them it’s great (honestly it’s a crock of shit)

      • Bemused says:

        Think this one is bad – should have seen the Arts and Culture one!

  24. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Today is Tax Cut Tuesday, not even you NMD can irritate me today, although you will try, don’t bother, tax cut joy will spread throughout the land, it will be a wonderful day.

    • Wily Wombat says:

      It might be better if they lowered the nations debt that they successfully doubled in their six years of office. Middle class welfare. Straight out of Howards playbook.

      • Grumpy says:

        Oh, Woms, me triggered old Bolshie. ‘Middle class welfare” Really? That cliched and banal old lefty chestnut? That all you got, comrade?

        Don’t worry old mate, I’m sure that there will be plenty left in the welfare pot for your mob.

        • Wily Wombat says:

          Listen Twatwaffle, I am 62 and worked every week of my life except for two weeks, when I moved locations.
          Typical RWNJ. Cry welfare cheats on everything. I cant work out how you can have your head up your a*** and your nose in the air at the same time.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            RWNJ Wombat???

          • Grumpy says:

            Plucker. It stands for “ Right Wing Nut Job”. What the Bolshies call anyone who does not agree with them. Sort of like “Looney Left”, but without the cred.

            Wombles. Who said anything about a welfare cheat? I am sure you qualify for every dollar you don’t earn.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Every week of your life? Sorry that you were a victim of baby and child labour.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Geezus Wily, Cantankerous was just pulling on his boots to go out and spend the electricity bill kickback that ScoMo has handed him and now you’ve gone and ruined his daydream. Oh well, I s’pose he can wait to hear from Electricity Bill himself on Thursday. He’ll get a kick out of that.

        • Wily Wombat says:

          Yep NMD. They give you so much a quarter for your power and make sure your health funds go up at least double that. What a mean tricky lot they are. Splitting my sides laughing at their deviousness.
          Fortunately, no matter what they do tonight and in the next month, Slomos Scumbos will lose. The thing that will kill them is Penalty Rates. In every city, those affected by their callous policy on these are waiting with baseball bats. This will guarantee PM Bill for sure.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          A kick or a zap?

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Whatever electricity Bill says on Thursday will be shocking NMD………he can’t string a sentence together and his voice quivers and screeches with every word!

        • Alahazbin says:

          That $75 bucks can go with the $75 Puddleduck gave me. Didn’t hear too much criticism then from the looney left.

  25. Critical says:

    Compare the current Corporate Plan with Mullet’s 2016 election promises and you will find that virtually all of her promises are embedded in some format into this Corporate Plan which means that all council plans and workers must ensure that the goals etc. of the corporate plan are met. Is this an exercise to assist her to work out her 2020 election promises.
    I thought that community consultation for such an important document would involve meeting and discussing the issues with communities across the city. From the community engagement that’s being undertaken it appears that councilors and staff are to lazy to go past Stuart Creek to the south, past Stuart to the west or the Bohle River to the north. Wonder if any of them have heard of the communities of Paluma, Cungulla, Reid River/Woodstock. Come on Jenny do something properly and worth while for once.

    • Linda Ashton says:

      Lol. At the gathering of Qld Mayors today, a familiar frame appeared on the 4 second news grab on WIN. She was upstanding, making a her opinion known to the folks attending. The major complaint from the group seems to be “lack of consultation” by the state. Lack of … did they get that voiceover story right?

    • Gubberment says:

      So right you are. So respond to the half arse consultation. It’s online because they don’t actually want feedback from the community.
      And honestly most of the councillors don’t get past Ingham Road. The rest of Townsville is not the city and we don’t exist

      • Westie says:

        Really, G, that is unfair. The citizens of the suburbs are greatly valued by the Mayor and Councillors.

        They provide the rates revenue that can be invested on CBD revitalization.

  26. I’ll be plucked says:

    How are the Swannies going Pie?

  27. Wily Wombat says:

    What a hopeless budget. Misfire entirely. One shot, Budget Surplus and Back in the Black and it is a mirage in the distance. Interested to hear what the Cowboy baggers here think about the $15 Million given to Lozzas team.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Look at the big picture WW. Vote labor and we will be in the red forever. But there was nothing in the welfare pot was there!

      • No More Dredging says:

        Hey Ala, one of the annoying things about the Treasurer’s speech was his constant reference that the Coalition was doing all this terrific stuff “WITHOUT RAISING TAXES”. Which might be true but it makes you wonder where all the money is actually coming from. Did you wonder about that or do you think it’s just magic? I had a sniff around because I remember back in the day when Abbott was PM that he constantly went on about Labor’s DEBT and DEFICIT. Do you remember that? Well it turns out that the Coalition thoroughly dived into the whole debt thing over the last few years and that is how they have paid for the stuff that they are now claiming credit for. They just put it on the never never only at a far greater rate than Labor ever did. Here’s some numbers from The Conversation:

        “The Liberal-National Coalition won the federal election on September 7 2013. At September 30, net debt was A$174.5 billion (meaning that net debt rose by about A$5 billion per month in the three months before the 2013 election).

        As at July 1 2018, the budget estimate of net debt in Australia was about A$341.0 billion. That’s roughly a 95% rise since the Coalition took office in 2013″.

        Did you see that, Alahazbin? The Coalition has nearly doubled Australia’s debt. Even this financial year there’s predicted (in the budget) to be another deficit of more than $4 billion with another $80million added this morning as cream on the cake. The Treasurer went on and on about how they are going to pay off Labor’s debt when in fact the debt the government has is mostly contrived from the Coalition’s recent profligate spending. Which we taxpayers will pay for regardless of who we elect.

        • The Magpie says:

          While The Magpie has no intention of joining in the inevitable round of ‘whataboutism’ we get in elections … too, too, tedious, m’dears and just gum flapping anyway, but a casual glance, NMD, your maths seem to be all over the place (know the difference between debt and deficit, mate?) and can only raise a languid ‘so what?” from a yawning, stretching ‘Pie. And PLEASE don’t do a Linda Ashton and write a War and Peace length rant The Magpie’s errant ways, and expect it to be published. Free speech should not be a license to bore people … not on this blog, anyway.

        • Alahazbin says:

          And where is Labor going to get all the money he will be promising to ‘handout crowd’ tonight?

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Well Wily Wombat you will be pleased to know my celebrations were short lived also as there was nothing for me in the budget last night until the year 2022 apparently, but the missus was having a laugh as she will pocket a grand in a few weeks time, winners and losers hey. So I just opened a bottle of scotch and had a good old time anyway, it takes away that bitter taste in your mouth, you should try it sometime.

  28. Mike Douglas says:

    Willy Wombat, budget misfire ,talk about half empty . Tax offset for middle and low income effecting 10 mil Australians of $1,080 single income, dual $2,160 which will flow thru to pay packets 6 weeks into the new year . One off energy assistance payment $75 singles/ $125 is now flowing to Newstart . Instant write off small business increased to $30k, $15 k apprentice support for business with Target 80,000 apprentices and the list goes on . 7 weeks out from an elelection try asking Cathy Otoole, Chris Bowen, Bill Shorten how much their renewable target will increase electricity to business and consumers ? .

  29. Glenno says:

    Apparently old mate has the best SMILE in Townsville!

    • The Magpie says:

      Not if The ‘Pie ‘s info is correct. He is well known around town as a serial offending pantsman, but as happens with all these grubs that make their cock their compass, made the big mistake of having it off with the wife of a local martial arts bloke, who took a very dim view of the shennigans … so dim in fact, that he towelled our man up to the extent that he had to spend a couple of days in hospital. Oh, well, one figures he’s got a good dental plan.

      • The Wulguru Wonder says:

        I’ve been using my amateur detective skills to try and deduce who it is, but I’m certainly no Holmes when it comes to these things.

        Whoever it is, they are probably looking at a financially painful extraction as no doubt his missus will put the bite on him.

  30. Inquisitive says:

    Pie, just wanted your thoughts on Tony Raggatt’s news piece over the weekend that there were no serious challengers to the Mayor? Surely it is far too early to claim that local conservatives had “all but given up the race”. A serious challenge could be mounted in 6 months or less, with the right funding and obviously candidate.

    • The Magpie says:

      The Magpie is greatly tempted to just post the reply ‘Hi Jenny, nice to know you’re still reading the blog’, but he won’t. Although it does sound like a fishing expedition.

      Jenny’s famous vindictiveness towards those who less than wholeheartedly support and fawn overt her have most worthwhile challengers (that is those, who are very busy trying to make a living AND actually employing people despite her disastrous governance of this city) to concerned for their business well-being to declare any sort of opposition at this stage.

      Do you have anyonme in mind

      But here’s a newsflash … The ‘Pie knows of at least two serious challenges that are being mulled over right now … both are aware they have to get their fingers out now, because organisation of a campaign doesn’t happen overnight. Both are worried about the Bulletin’s partisanship but one challenger could have enough presence in their advertising coffers to ensure a fair go. Not that it matters all that much, because this campaign is going to fought, and won, on social media platforms … the Bulletin has become increasingly irrelevant in swaying voters who are tired of that partisanship and ‘We’re For You’ insincere twaddle (which is a campaign slogan run in every News Ltd paper across the country, so stop feeling so special and gooey, folks).

      Do you have anyone in mind, Stickybeak?

      • Ducks nuts says:

        On the topic of the Mayorall campaign… does Jenny still have fat George Addison on her payroll? He’s a nasty piece of work and will probably be involved in her campaign. Wach out for the dirty plays and a smear campaign of the opposition.

      • Inquisitive says:

        A bit of a weird reply Pie. My point was that even if no one is seriously considering running against the Mayor now, it is way to early to claim that the conservatives have all but given up. Anyone could Mount a credible challenge in 6 months or less if they had the resources and talent to get over the line. With the speed of the news cycle and social media, there may actually be advantages in announcing a run late in the cycle. I think the premise of Tony Raggatt’s story is wrong.

        • The Magpie says:

          Take your point, Stickybeak, but The ‘Pie is now The Year Of Living Dangerously mode, given Mayor Mullet is now in full campaign mode, which means the usual dirty tricks. Pehaps the old bird is a bit up himself to think they’d bother mucking around here.
          But on your conjecture, to actually EMERGE as a candidate in six months is the more plausible path, but The ‘Pie’s point is that putting the machinery place really has to start now … and according another commenter, one party is already doing that.

          But you’re right, way to early to write off opposition, although Raggers was possibly basing his comment on the same info The ‘Pie is getting, that some possible contenders don’t see a way forward against Hill and have withdrawn. But Raggatt reflects the mind-set that the paper would love Townsville to adopt … the old ‘us and them’ class thing, and he’s done that by dubbing any possible opposition as ‘conservative’. A wide ‘coalition of the willing’ pissed off non-party aligned ratepayers would be a formidable and winning challenge with a move over to a workable vision and a return to council basics and boosting staff morale.

          If a suitable person runs, madam mayor is eminently beatable on her record of subterfuge and inane reactionary behaviour – $18.5m Adani airstrip, Qantas boycott, pipeline manufacture jobs to Adelaide instead of explaining why not Townsville, unjustifiable over-optimistic claims of attracting investment to Townsville, the sneaky selling of the contradictory LGAQ Buy Local/Local Buy job killer (she’s an LGAQ board member on $96k per) and so on, and on, and on. Just have to woo the sheeple vote with workable, attractive policies, an achievable vision and put the unicorns out to pasture.

          Easily said, but eminently do-able.

          • Whovians rock! says:

            I have joined the Drover’s Dog for TCC campaign team. DD was pissed off that he lost his shelter last year and was thrown back out into the bush for a while until public dismay caused another back flip from the Mayor.

            DD has been greatly encouraged by the support he’s getting – ANY candidate but Mullet!! seems to be the battle-cry from the burbs. He’s not worried about mud being thrown at him as it will in fact make his bed more comfortable.

            The support team will post cute doggy pictures on social media with the line: ‘one bark “yes”, two barks “no” …. and no lies!’. This dog’s a winner!!

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, I would have thought that if you wanted to “woo the sheeple vote” you would need a candidate who was something like them – unless you mean we are like them?

            Sheeple = The compression of two words, sheep and people, to form one word meaning a mass of ignorant, unoriginal humans that herd together and follow mindlessly.

          • The Magpie says:

            Plenty of sheep will follow a good shepherd, but will drop off from a bad shepherd. But this is not an elitist thing … we just need someone with a brain that operates outside self-interest and party politics.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Ah, but can we find a “good shepherd” amongst the sheeple and how do we get them to come out?

      • Anti-soviet says:

        TCC is using social media as a means of propaganda rather than community information.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Manning only officially nominated in January 2012 for the Cairns council elections, it was well known for some time beforehand that he would probably run, he got near 70% of the vote and that prize airhead Val Scheir got less than 20%, so it can be done. I have always said I will man a booth for anyone running against the Mullet and will happily donate, shit if no one stands up I will have a run myself, Cantankerous with robes!

  31. Whykickamoocow says:

    There’s definitely a contender, and a seriously well organised and cashed up one at that. But they ain’t nominating until the last minute… coz it gives the bullsheet less time to mount an attack. Not that anyone reads it anyway…
    And Pat Brady a clean skin? Not on your 1300 nelly.

  32. Rita the Meter Maid says:

    Flights TSV-OOL !!

    All those nice NQ people flocking down here to spend their dollars.

    • Echo says:

      Bugger the Gold Coast.
      I’d definitely use a Townsville to Sunshine Coast direct service.
      Whens that coming on?

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Correct Maid – NO obvious benefit to Townsville – money going ‘off shore’ to the Gold Coast! What colour is your bikini? :)

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      I will be there Rita, I think it’s a great service, two hour flight and a 10 minute taxi ride and I can be sitting in Burleigh heads having a couple of frosty beverages at the bowls club, going down next month.

  33. Hee-Haw says:

    Nov 18 – 99% of work on stadium by locals (Astonisher)
    Jan 19- 99% of work on stadium by locals (Astonisher)

    April 19 – Townsville builders don’t want anything to do with the North Queensland Stadium (Astonisher)

    99% ??? I would like to see this figure audited or at the very least probed by the Bulletin, likelihood of that happening…….about 1%

  34. Jatzcrackers says:

    Any word on the possibility of a mayoral contender might be an ex-federal local member ? Word has it from the top of ex-members party, that he won’t be considered for preselection to run against O’fool. I’m sure the local gig has crossed his mind more than once ! A blokes got to eat !

    • The Magpie says:

      We trust you are not referring to Prince Peter of Lindsay, former Laird of Herbert. You must mean the Jones boy, who is said to be still smarting at being tossed by 37 votes in a dodgy count of postals.

      Well, haven’t heard that, but let’s hope not … he would be a disaster of a different kind. We have enough personal get-square agendas with the current incumbent, we need to look for clean air, and that includes breaking with traditional parties and government of the locals, for the locals, by the locals. Sorry – that slogan will never take hold.

  35. Dave of Kelso says:

    A Federal election is imminent. I hope for a short campaign as I know how I will vote and do not care for any electioneering from anyone.

    One thing for certain, if I hear the words, “jobs and growth,” I will not be responsible for my actions! Then I will have to change my name to Dave of Her Majesty’s Guest House, Stuart.

    • The Magpie says:

      Might not be open … the screws may not be taking any more guests.

      • Linda Ashton says:

        The recent $185 million fit out of the Christmas Island detention centre might see some correctional services advance bookings. Seems the Dutton alarm about a huge influx of refugees did not eventuate. Maybe the rapists and murderers (kids and mums included) didn’t get the memo about the accommodation upgrade. Was there a business case for this infrastructure media moment funding? We’ve had to fight every step of the way for $200 million for the second stage of the Burdekin pipeline. That will pay for guaranteed water for 200,000 residents now and for the next 70 years. Priorities I guess. Money is clearly not the hurdle.

  36. Achilles says:

    Elton John is calling on his camp followers to boycott nine Brunei-owned hotels over the sultanate’s new death-penalty by stoning laws, for gay sex and adultery.

    Probably James Ashby will bend over backwards to show his support too?


  37. Frequent flyer says:

    The Astonisher is at it again today, failing to ask all those hard questions we want answered eg the cause of the fire at JCU. Can’t offend that Most Influential Advertiser Sandra Harding.
    Then there’s the story on the security debacle at Townsville Airport with Mr Gill being allowed to sidestep serious questions about matters he is ultimately responsible for.

  38. Ozzie John says:

    Oi Maggers, long time no flocking. Been bloody busy as a dog with two diks up at the Black. Bloody floods. We had so much rain up here that the crick was floweng like pollies promises at election time. We had so much water that I was scarred that some of those boat people that Scottie luvs would make there way to my humble home to seek refuge. Me and me missus have had to take turns to keep a watch. I have had me pigger Chopper on red alert, I can tell ya.
    Anyways, its election time or as I calls it Ejection time. This is when me mate Bobby K will take over Oz and become our PM. Triffic news for all.
    Anyways, thats me prediction. Luv to all you other flockers on here.

  39. Plannit Townsville says:

    Dump shop at Hervey Range…
    It’s about generating employment opportunities…. except for those poor gormless bastards that work in the current shop that won’t have jobs and that we refuse to support anymore.
    Onya Jenny..

    ( on a side note I wish these media releases would stop using the councillors as mouthpieces for the Mullet… we all know they’re too stupid for words of their own)


  40. Wily Wombat says:

    It appears I have been kissed without permission. Wombats will have their own “metoo” movement and people who take liberties with all marsupials shall be named and shamed.
    Hey Ozzie John, are you the twatwaffle in disguise? Mate, stop it.
    Did you see the PM in waiting last night. Brilliant performance by our Bill.

    • Grumpy says:

      Mate, if it was you I kissed, you’d be sitting on my porch all night, waiting for the next one.

      You want to play a name game? Goody! I’ll be twatwaffle and you be Tosswomble.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Sure did Wombat, watched Bill talk about the fousands of dollars he will give to vese people and vose people and uvver people who for some reason fink vat someone else should fund their worthless fucking existence because they have failed to do it themselves, so it was Bill Shorten you were refering to I gavver.

  41. Dave of Kelso says:

    We have a No Junk Mail sign on our letterbox. Now the bloody candidates are using Aust Post to get around it and into the house.

    I have seen Cathy O’Fool. Judging by her photo in this brochure she has used lots of spak-filler make-up. Probably trying to appeal to Gen X and Y and XXXL rather than the old fart baby-boomers (of which I am one, and still with my youthful good looks!)

  42. Dave of Kelso says:

    Electricity Bill and his electric car plan. EB has no clue about recharge times as demonstrated by A. Bolt.


    • Westie says:

      Yes, another unimpeachable, unbiassed Murdoch news outlet.

    • Achilles says:

      Electricity Bill has also overlooked the loss of revenue from Oil based fuels, which means a dramatic reduction in revenue for upkeep and new roads. He’s not a roads scholar by any measure.

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