From A Seat In Parliament To A Seat On The Pavement: The Rise And Fall of Les Walker.

That should more aptly be the ‘felling of Les Walker’. But be it council, parliament or pub, Les has demonstrated the same level of personal effectiveness and consciousness. But what now? It looks like the fix is in, as they say in boxing circles, with Les’s lewd lip and lecherous eye earning a wrist slap softer than ever Melania gave Donald. The Magpie postulates in public.

Would it be a better world if some of the woke folk would go back to sleep? A good argument for the yes case was made during the week. Cricket Australia gives itself an uppercut with one of the most grovelling and insulting rulings it has ever made.  but one of the most respected indigenous figures injects some quite sense and dignity into their idiocy.

An hilarious video take that will have the virtue signaller’s bunching their pantaloons in rage …

And a week of piss poor headlines .. we feature a couple …

Racehorse names: we’ve broached this subject before, but thoroughbred owners just can’ stop horsing around with naughty names. The Magpie has the latest on this smutty juvenile sniggering by millionaires.

All events and people fall into one of two categories … those you will always remember and those you can never forget … Trump’s graceless departure ensures he scores on both counts.

AND NOTE: No definitive result in Division 10 election at the time of publication, but the last report available had 65% of the vote counted and independent Fran O’Callaghan with a commanding 43% lead, over Team Jenny Hill car salesman Scott McElligott, on 31%. Independent Carolyn Dare had 12%, lawyer Joel Thomas 11% and dear old perennial warhorse Harry Patel with just over 4% (personally, The ‘Pie hopes Harry gets his deposit back, he’s selfless persistence in participating deserves it). This may all be old news by the time you read this, but no point in commenting at this stage.

Now onward …

Les’s Ultimate Fall Back Position – On His Fall Back Position

As one reader pointed out here, Les is no longer Messagebank Walker … he is Memory Blank Walker. But this mug shot should forever remind him.

Please note: not photoshopped, police issue.

His position – to him – is simple … blanket amnesia which makes for blanket amnesty from responsibility. And he mysteriously believes it’s a good reason to NOT resign, apparently. Everyone has a different take on these demeaning shenanigans. Bentley for instance, believes it is a lack of proper training, And unlike a computer, you have to punch information more than once into the member for Mundingburra..

Now the problem with Les’s head trauma – apart from the difficulty of actually knowing when he’s concussed or if it’s just business as usual – is that in any other profession, let’s say Rugby League or the cops, such an HIA would have him sidelined, possibly for the season. But he being a vital number in Palaszczuk’s Platoon, the order was ‘soldier on, soldier’, albeit, with a dainty Manolo Blahnik from the premier to the Walker coit. ‘I told him it wasn’t the behaviour I expect, and he’s apologised.’ Oh, well, that’s OK then, is it? Yup, that’s it, folks.

Questions and lies abound. Here’s one from The ‘Pie. That mug shot of Walker the police have released, when and where was it taken? At some mobile facility in Via Vomitorium before he went to hospital. Or maybe the next day or two, in which case, it is pretty obvious what state he had been in. And the timing of the pic is kinda interesting, considering we were told he hadn’t received any ban after he and his lawyer went to the cops on Monday. The cops said they’d made a mistake, and then said no they hadn’t, he was banned and fined. There’s a fib in there somewhere.

But the real lies, the lies … and the splatter-spray of lofty insults to the average intelligence couldn’t have been more widespread if an incontinent Santa Gertrudis had dropped its load in front of a wind farm in a cyclone.

Let’s examine what a ‘jittery’ Walker said at a reluctant media conference.

First, he said “I understand why some people have called for him to resign.’ But does he actually understand why so many people are furious with him? Apparently not, because his convoluted logic gave us this: ‘No, I won’t be resigning, because I can’t recall the incident and the police are dealing with it.’ Say what!?! So because you can’t remember what happened, you bear no responsibility for your situation … try running that in a court of law, say in a manslaughter or DV matter.

Then this: ‘I can understand that comment, but I’ll just have to work hard and apologise.’ No Les, you don’t understand … either your position as an MP, or your position now in this community.

He also faded in and out of classic pollie-speak. ‘I will have to double down on my efforts to regain the trust of my electorate and the entire city.’ ‘Les, ‘regain’ clearly implies you seek to get back something you previously had before this clusterfuck, but you seek something you never actually had. Frankly mate, The Magpie has no hesitation in saying you have NEVER had the electorate’s trust, you were seen as the lesser evil.

The ‘Pie had a rare chortle in all this with his line ‘my wife is quite upset with this ordeal.’ Make that ‘furious with me’, mate, she knows you’ve got form in this area – but one guesses you can’t recall the hushed-up incident at the casino a while back when you had to pay for expensive dental work for damage you inflicted in an assault that never saw the light of day in the media. Little wonder your poor bloody wife wasn’t out there standing by her man, and is instead yet again coming to terms with the fact that she is stuck with a belligerent drongo who’s bad news when he’s on the drink. Les, old mate, The ‘Pie reckons Mrs Walker will need all her self-discipline for you to have an even chance of making 57 intact.

But then, you followed such insulting stupidity with the utmost gall, comparing yourself and your shit-faced behaviour with frontline medical personnel who’ve been assaulted by drunks and other assorted low-lifes on the job– a lawless mind-set, incidentally, about which you and your mob refuse to anything tangible except loftily tell us a secret plan that we are not allowed to be privy to. “We find crime fighters in these situations all the time,” you told the media on Friday morning. Ummm, what situation is would that be, mon frère? Drunkenly pushing and shoving someone in bar because they’d objected to you behaving lewdly towards a young woman, and then getting comprehensively snotted? No, they don’t face that sort of stuff at any time, Les, that’s just empty gum flapping.

Then, this: ‘We’ve had medical people assaulted in their line of work. It can happen to anyone. It’s not good.’ That is simply doesn’t make any sense whatsoever in the context of this matter, and is an insulting conflation of two very separate issues.

Les Walker will be hoping against hope that the cops don’t charge the two other blokes with assault, and worse, if they then they contest the charge. Because that means all the grubby details of the night will be exposed in open court. And that just mean you will kiss your political arse ta-ta.

Les, if you had one shred of decency and integrity (ha!) you would do the honourable thing (ha!) and resign. Mate, with your carefully cultivated dimpled grin, fashionably greying hairstyle, and sparkle-arkle teeth, you could perhaps become the male model you always fancied yourself to be.

Reform yourself and who knows, maybe you could become the poster boy for AA.

Geez, what a town … a mayor facing a careless driving death charge, and a state MP knocked out in a pub brawl that he says he can’t remember. Christ, what next … wouldn’t surprise if we hired the Melbourne consulting bloke who designed the dehumanising mass sackings at the Townsville Council as it’s CEO … oh, wait a minute …

But She’s Still On The Job

These disaster don’t jusy happen, you know … they have to be carefully planned.

Cricket Australia’s Clayton Inclusion Policy

The ‘Pie wonders how many would’ve noticed if CA had just gone ahead with this policy of just referring to the fixtures as taking place on January 26, without feeling it necessary to unzip the fly of the aboriginal industry for a quick public pleasuring? Hardly anybody would have cared or even been aware if the matches were just said to be taking place on January 26.

But no, the woke folk at CA – led by their oxymoronic ‘diversity and inclusion’ manager Adam Cassidy, son of Australia’s leading public leftie Barrie Cassidy – decided on some ill-thought-out virtue signalling, in the name of what they mystifyingly call ‘inclusiveness’ . In practical terms, that now means least 97% of Aussies are feeling very un-included. And insulted. What were they thinking? That repudiating the one day of the year when we should all be included in a national group hug as Australians would not be seen as an insult, and a craven caving -in to vested fashionable interests?

One of Australia’s most high-profile and beloved heroines, tennis world number one Ash Barty made Cricket Australian look like the divisive bastards they are when she refused to endorse their stupidity. When asked by the decision she said: “I’m an extremely proud Indigenous woman. I’m a proud Australian. I celebrate that every day. For me, it doesn’t really matter what day it is. “I’m staying true to my values. Every single day I want to be kind, I want to be honest, I want to be humble. I want to give the best that I can. That’s all that matters for me.”

How jarring it must be for the woke folk when an intelligent and dignified woman puts things in perspective. And them in their place.

In Fact, You Can Bet Ash Barty Will Be In The Sights Of The Outrage Industry …

… because she also repudiated the News Ltd-led attack on Margaret Court receiving an Australia Day honour for her incomparable tennis achievements, because of her personal and outspoken religious convictions about the gay community. Sure, she’s a dingbat on this front, everyone knows that, but she’s not getting her upgraded honours award for any of that homophobic codswallop, she’s getting it for her unmatched tennis achievements. And Margaret Court has never to The Pie’s knowledge used her sporting history and awards to push her silly message. And everyone else seems to forget any balance here, because through her playing days, she brought awareness, honour and kudos to this growing country.

The Courier Mail covered itself in shame when they posted this on line on Saturday afternoon.

Now looking at that, you are meant to conclude that Ash Barty has hopped on the cancel culture bandwagon and has ripped into the greatest female tennis player in the history of the game. The despicable use of the out-of-context quote ‘’I don’t agree’ purposely makes Barty say something that she definitely DID NOT say, in the context it implied. Far from it. When you go to the story itself,  where we get to what Barty REALLY said:

“The people who make those decisions sit on a panel or a board and make those decisions for a reason,” Barty said.

“You cannot take away all of the results and all of what Margaret achieved on the tennis court, it was absolutely remarkable.

“But from the point of her personal views, I don’t agree with them.

“That is really all I have to say about it, there are people who make those decisions and it’s not my decision.”

And it would be a better world if that’s all anyone had to say about it. Again, quiet, measured and dignified, words which certainly do not apply to this disgraceful piece of viciously biased reporting.

Here’s A Little Something To Cheer Up All The Woke Folk Out Three.

Don’t laugh too hard, this might not be too far from reality, if certain chuckleheads have their way.

Poor Choice Headline Of The Week

Ah, memo, headline writing folks at The Astonisher, there’s a pandemic alert still around, where certain areas are described as a ….

Racing Authorities Narrowly Avoid A …Errr … Cock-Up

Naming a horse that cost you tens of thousands of dollars, often lots more, would seem a serious aspect of a serious investment. But not all the time, it seems. Schoolboy bumour is alive and well among the horse racing millionaire class.

13,000 names are approved every year by Racing Australia , as foals become two-year-olds. RA has a team of 12 vetting (no pun) the submissions, and there are strict guidelines.

The desired monikers are often clever amalgamation of names of the sire and dam. Leonardo Da Hinchi is an example, being the offspring Hinchinbrook out of Portrait. In this category, The ‘Pie remembers a racing writer years ago telling him that French champion ‘La Filou’ (French for pickpocket), sired Big Filou in NZ, and subsequently several foals by Big Filou were cleverly named: The Dip, and two Melbourne Cup winners Red Handed and Light Fingers. Neat.

Some names are private jokes – Who Shot The Barman was named for the favourite saying of the owner’s grandmother, who would bellow this question if she arrived in a pub and wasn’t offered a drink. Booze is often involved in horse names, and one guesses it was a long session that decided on the name Sotally Tober. One of the cleverest names which had us all chortling was Partiva … sounds classy and Latin, but in fact is Part (1V) section (A) of Tax Office regulations regarding certain assets that can be claimed as deductions.

But in fact the biggest groaning laughs are for the names that didn’t make past the eagle eyes at RA. And in this category, two names just this month have been given the red light.

A Big Clap For Cannabis
The Magpie

January 20, 2021 at 5:41 pm  (Edit)

Whodda thort, Puff the Magic Dragon to cure you drippin’ dragon. The story also tells us:
In Australia, gonorrhoea is the second most common sexually transmitted infection and there is no longer a single reliable antibiotic to treat it because the bacteria is particularly good at developing resistance. CBD has been shown in the UQ studies to work for a lot longer than other antibiotics.

Of course the number 1 most common sexually transmitted infection is children. Particularly in certain Townsville suburbs.

A Graceless Departure, But Who Cares, He’s Gone …

We no longer have to wake wondering what the fuck the mobster president and traitor Trump  gone and done now.  And we’ll be more delighted than disheartened when we next hear about him in the Senate impeachment proceedings, and after that when various state authorities catch up with him and his thieving brood. Let the pictures tell the story of the week in the USA, starting with a grateful country’s final finger salute of farewell.

And Finally, The ‘Pie Doesn’t Post Artsy Farty Stuff Usually, But …

… he was delightfully startled at the most spectacular sunset cloud display he has seen in 20 years living in The Nest. As these things are, it only lasted a few minutes, but unforgettable … the pic doesn’t do it full justice.

…..

You know, every Monday The ‘Pie starts his slow weekly panic, in a cold sweat that there won’t be anything to write about …arrrrgh!!! So thanks this week to Les Memory Blank Walker and also Cricket Australia. Readers have always helped in this area of suitable subjects, and if you want to have your say, comments run 24/7. And you can make the long hours fly by for The ‘Pie with the encouragement of donation to keep the blog aloft. Your pathway to generosity is the green button below.