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The Magpie

Sunday, April 19th, 2020   |   214 comments


It seems there’s  always a bridge too far for politicians, a grasp at a sudden opportunity disguised within a crisis. And the government’s mealy-mouthed plan for a mandatory government phone app to track corona virus falls right into that category. The Magpie says no go, Scomo.

Speaking of mealy-mouthed, The ‘Pie’s occasional IronyMan Award goes to … a sheila … Mayor Mullet no less – her hilarious take on the airline shakeout has seen her execute a 10/10 triple backflip with pike and tuck.

Our new council will see things liven up and our way ahead will be clearer – or murkier – when the newly sworn council gets to vote on Deputy Mayor next week. The Magpie put his money on …. ?

Failed Federal and council candidate Nanette Radeck unilaterally votes herself a new honorary position – good for a larf and not much else …

… and the cleverest headline of the week …

And along with our regular gallery from America, two videos that will have you both laughing and thinking … and maybe despairing in. your merriment..

But first …

Groundhog Day Grinds On

While there are darker sides emerging in the COVID-19 debacle, it is humour that is keeping things in perspective much of the time for the average stay-at-home – that is, all of us. In amongst the dross is some clever and more informed commentary we would normally get from mainstream media. And some of it isn’t just inventive fun, it is often based in fact. Like this chart …


…. it was probably that alcohol skyrocket that  prompted Bentley to put of very Aussie twist on the situation.

Lift etiquette flat small

Others with time on their hands revert to Dad jokes …


… while other have a more adult flavour.


Others like to grind a special axe to link that other major topic of contention among the chatterati.


While the special circumstances raise some interesting questions about our dilemma, particularly in the USA.


certainly doesn’t apply to the Townsville rorters. And new comic talent is sprouting everywhere.

Corona 13 Apr - 01

And The ‘Pie is gob smacked at the arrogance and stupidity … indeed, the naiveté … of the NRL setting a start date for the resumption of play … without reference to the government or independent health officials. You know, the people who the decisions about our safety and well-being. The up-himself and mildly creepy Peter V’landy’s has shown in a multitude of interviews he is the crash-through-or-crash type of administrator that we don’t need at this time. Anyway he’ll be told in short sharp words whether his boast of re-starting the game late next month will happen – by the people we elected, for better or worse, to make these decisions. Perhaps this message doing the rounds might help him focus a bit better.


One thing is for sure … many parents are discovering that the teacher was not the problem.

But It’s Not All Fun And Games …

Great Scott!!

Great Scott!!

There is the political maxim that crises always create opportunities, and while The ‘Pie reckons The Prime Minister has made a pretty fair fist of a unique situation, and his earning deserved points for his communication of the protection plan (unlike the Queensland Government’s Inspector Closeau comedy), his background as an authoritarian martinet couldn’t be kept in check. With the urging of neo-fascists like Peter Dutton, Morrison has announced a highly controversial government-created tracking app. Called TraceTogether, it is supposedly aimed at slowing the virus spread. It will allow authorities to check your location, and cross reference with the data of infected people. All Australians have been asked to download the app to their phones voluntarily when it is available in the next week or two.

At this stage, signing up will be voluntary.

But There’s A Huge ‘Or Else’ Involved.

Morrison knows full well that this will not go down well with the average Aussie, and has threatened a dictator’s whip, when he said: “My preference is to give Australians a go at getting it right. That’s my A plan, and I really want Plan A to work.’

The menace fairly dripped through the microphone, because in plain English, the Prime Minister was saying what he plans is the ‘right’ thing concerning one of our basic privacies, one we have always taken for granted in this country, and we should go along with it. Because if we don’t, the clear threat is that he will force us to relinquish that liberty to privacy. The app will be compulsory.

Let’s be clear on one aspect of this: no matter what assurances, convenient reasoning and honeyed words accompany these sorts of plans, OUR POLITICIANS HAVE RELINQUISHED ANY RIGHT TO BE TRUSTED UNQUESTIONINGLY. They carry on like grubby over-sexed teenagers raiding dad’s wallet when he isn’t looking, and rort and rort and rort all the time. No matter what assurances are given, there is a real possibility that TraceTogether will be the harbinger of another more comporehensive attack on our already eroded basic freedoms.

What is it with this drongo of a PM? Just when he was recovering brownie points with his leadership in this matter, erasing a lot of the outrage about his appalling bushfire and sports rorts performances, he suddenly reverts to type with this draconian diktat. (Was it the Dutton button that triggered it?)

The ‘Pie’s prediction is that he will be forced go realize he will face a lasting and damaging backlash if he tries to make the app mandatory, and is inviting justified civil disobedience on a massive scale if he persists. He’ll certainly get it from The Magpie.

In discussing this matter with others, there has been mixed feelings, with some very vociferous voices claiming that we should just go along with the leadership and not ask questions at this stage.


The best answer to that comes from Guardian’s multi-award winning columnist Marina Hyde, who, while writing about a similar attitude in Britain, wrote: Anyone who thinks “this is not the time for questions” might note that it was only when the questions rose to fever-pitch over the past few days that Johnson looked nudged to act. Those questions, often from ordinary citizens, were born of true concern and a true sense of duty – on which the government does not have a monopoly. There will be more questions like them in the weeks and months ahead, and anyone trying to tell you they shouldn’t be asked is a grifter. There is more than one way to love your country – and no member of the public should ever surrender the right to question what is in the public interest.

Who Will Be Our Next Deputy Mayor?

Now we are married for better for worse to our new council, the first matter of interest will be who our next second fiddle will be to Jenny Hill’s Nero. We’ll have to wait 10 days until April 28 for that to be answered but you can bet there’ll be some frantic phone conferencing between now and then. Because it would seem under the circumstances, this one be one of Jenny Hill’s arm aerobics votes.

Les walker

As reported here recently, it is widely rumoured that the current freeloader holding the title, Les Walker, is seen by his fellow councillors as just that, a lazy bludger, and doesn’t fulfil his role adequately, but his Labor connections have kept a marauding Mullet at bay. The word was well around that Messagebank was on the nose, and now the make-up of the new council is set, other matters are in play.

The first is succession.

The ‘Pie’s solid information is that there is no way Jenny Hill will be running again in four years time – she will either retire, be in jail or running for President of Malta – so the question – at least for those with a Labor mindset – is who will take over. And therefore, will be the subject of some cautious grooming by Her Majesty. So all things being equal, the newly elected deputy will lead the incumbent team into the next election.

Molachino and magpie Screen Shot 2020-03-04 at 3.03.28 pm

The Magpie is keeping a close eye on marl Molachino

The money is on Mark Molachino, who has made no secret that he is aiming at higher things, although he has not evinced an interest beyond the council top job. He has his detractors in his electorate, but he was retuned unopposed, so you get what you didn’t vote for. He scrubs up well, and appears to get on with his colleagues. (He also doesn’t, as far as we know,  own a dress that looks like a purple doona).

Molachino would, in the American parlance, be a ’lock’ for the deputy doo dah position, except for two unexpected outcome of the recent election. Kurt Rehbein polled a handsome 63.7%, which would entitle him to be considered if he so chooses.

BUT the one who outpolled ALL candidates – including the mayor by 14% – was – ta da – Les Walker, who strolled back into office with 64.37% of the split ballot. That number is likely to give him some argument to retain his position and its extra $17k, the money being the only reason this chiseler would be bothered.

Another Apparent Lesson From That Election

 nanette radeck

Katter turncoat Nanette Radeck has appointed herself to an unpaid position according to her FB and Linkedin pages.

Screen Shot 2020-04-17 at 10.28.21 am

The question is, just who is she advocating for, and by what right. In last yea’s federal poll, she was trounced in her bid for the seat of Herbert, getting just 9.8% of the vote. And in the recent council election, the resurgent Sue Blom comprehensively mugged her, in a two horse race, 59.47% to 40.53%. So one wonders just whose behalf Ms Radeck thinks she is ‘advocating’, whatever that means. With that sort of recommendation from the voting public, she would be perfectly suited to a job at Townsville Enterprise.

One thing we’ve learnt though … as did Sam Cox. No one around here has much time for self-serving party hopping.

The IronyMan Award Becomes The IronyWoman Award.,

Jenny Hill looking slyScreen Shot 2020-01-15 at 6.50.41 pm

And it goes to the endlessly wittering Mayor Mullet. This had The ‘Pie kicking his heels on the floor in merriment … it’s from the iditorial in the Bulletin this week.

Screen Shot 2020-04-17 at 10.33.02 am

Carrier monopolies isolate regions even more and there needs to be at least two airlines to be operating out of Townsville.’

This from the woman who in a fit of ultimately damaging pique, called for a boycott of Qantas for not backing a airport passenger tax in Townsville.

Err, dearie, if a boycott was successful, that would mean that …. mmm, let’s count now … ah yes, only one airline would be operating out of Townsville. Nkw suddenly, two seems a good idea? Good girlie.

Just another page from Mayor Mullet’s book of Karma Sutra of Policy Positions. Oh, well, only another four years to go.

Maybe by then, we’ll have Adani Air operating out of the ‘ville.

The Astonisher Continues It’s Role As The Hari Krishna Paper, Happy Clapping Its Way Forward.

During the week, they trotted out pet economic poodle Col Dwyer – somehow they’ve managed to style him as ‘a leading economist’ which came as a surprise to many local bizoids. In a meaningless puff piece, Col wittered out about how Townsville will ‘quickly’ recover from the current business privations of COVID-19.

His brought a swift and measured response from regular erudite commenter Memory Man.

Memory Man
3,623 approved
Submitted on 2020/04/15 at 10:15 amPoodles are wonderful dogs. They shed no hair. But poodles make poor economists, as the Bulletin’s eagerly panting pet economic poodle Colin Dwyer demonstrates.

Colin Dwyer7d94680936236a37f8a1367409dd3653

These are very difficult times, because the lifeblood that connects businesses to consumers and which course through the veins of economies have been traumatised. Some of the vessels and economic cells – call them businesses – will never recover. The attached is one of dozens of respected analyses that point to massive hits on the economy.

There is no “rapid healing”. The traumas are too great.

Any community – which is at the end of the day what we would other call an “economy” – needs to be realistic in its diagnostics. We need to staunch the loss of blood. We need to rapidly excise the rotten pieces to stem the contagion. That’s the here and now.

Looking forward, we need to map out new pathways of repair and regeneration. Some of this will come from within. New cells will grow. Wounds will heal. Functions will come back. However, we also need to add new capabilities. If an economy or a community is like a body, we can now begin thinking about how we augment its core capabilities with new “machinery”.

Social distancing may be with us for 2-3 years, at least, according to recent work published in Science. So, we need to find new ways of enabling economies to function in this new found situation. We need to be attractive to the new capabilities that can strengthen our economic body. We need to further diversify our base. This will require concerted and serious effort, not throwaway lines simply “spruiking a feel good” as if that is enough to “bring the good times back”.

Headline Of The Week

Punning headlines can be clever, although a rarity in this neck of the woods. The week’s best comes from the Guardian.

Screen Shot 2020-04-17 at 10.34.56 pm

And while we’re on the subject of cats …


The Charges Are No Longer Trumped Up …

Trump  3500

… the man is a murderer – of his own citizens … through massive and deliberate negligence. But his performance of the past week has surpassed anything that has gone before in terms of foaming lunacy. The rapid descent into the final darkness of a full mental implosion cannot be far off … but how many more will he kill before that happens. What has increasingly dismayed his own sane followers – there are a few – is Donald Trump’s total inability to accept the responsibilities of the power of his office. The American comedian Bill Maher has summed up in his usual pithy and accurate style a looming problem no one has given much thought to … it seems like a joke, BUT WHAT IF EVEN IF DEFEATED TRUMP WON’T GO. Sounds whacky, but Maher makes a funny but sobering case for just that.

This week’s gallery starts with a wonderfully apt analogy.

IMG_0651 10_105 Safer elections 16_55 3_211 4_212 237758_rgb_768 tt200415 15_74 6_166 5_193 7_152 9_126 14_76 237879_rgb_768 237710_rgb_768 041620briefingsr jd041620dapr 18_48

We Know We Shouldn’t Laugh, But …

This parody from a talented luvvie named  Randy Rainbow has been around for a while but The ‘Pie has only just been apprised of it from a mate. Always been a life long fan of G & S, particularly the clever word play of the quick fire ‘patter song, this ‘A Very Stable Genius’ is a master class of cleverness.

And Another Offering From Bill Maher (hey, you’ve got time on your hands)

He’s the sort of man with the plain speaking insight that demands contemplation long after viewing. he even sides with Trump on those rare – accidental – occasions when the President is right … Here’s another of insightful monologues. For the record, The ‘Pie agrees with everything he has to say here.

And finally …

Rebadging some old movie favourites to fit the corona virus isolation rules.



Well, we’ve made it this far, let’s see if we can get to the same time next week. And just a reminder … Canberra has not banned internet banking so you’ll be delighted to know you are still able to make a generous donation to help The Magpie’s Nest keep on keeping on … the donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Nanette Radeck says:

    Dear Mr Whetherup, you are completely mistaken, once again, with what you write about me. For the record, I have only ever been a member of ONE political party in my lifetime and have no intentions of joining any other. I would appreciate a retraction and apology. Regards, Nanette

    • The Magpie says:

      Dear Ms Reedact, The Magpie shall in form Mr Whetherup, whomsoever he may be, of your request.

      PS Team Hill is a Labor-controlled team, sweety.

    • The Stasi says:

      Hey Radeck, folks don’t like a turncoat and fence jumper, which is exactly what you did – everyone but you knows this! C’mon………

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, it appears Ms Radeck is unwilling to acknowledge that Team Hill is a putative Labor team, because the political allegiance is dictated by whomsoever calls the shots. She is clearly upset at such a judgement, and her council candidature, coming so soon after her federal tilt for KAP, was always going to be seen, rightly or wrongly, that way. Suck it up love, and like the rest of the country, start planning for a brighter and smarter future.

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Is Ms Radeck still very upset that she was the only one of ‘Team Jenny Hill/Labor Outfit’ who didn’t get a jumper? Soundly beaten by a genuine independent I understand.

          • Hee Haw says:

            Maybe Nanette can have a look at the Team Jenny Hill Facebook page which clearly states they are a political party, explain that Nanette”

            Hee Haw, adventure casting for some honesty.

          • Nanette Radeck says:

            ‘Very upset’ about losing, you say? Far from it. It was an election; a contest. This happens in elections if you haven’t noticed. There can only be one winner. I was beaten. That’s how it fell. Besides, it’s old news now. Sadly, you seem to think I need to be ‘very upset’?…I’m afraid this says more about you than me. But, perhaps you’ve never been in a contest to understand?

          • The Magpie says:

            Look folks, let’s take a step back and consider our situation for a moment. Instead of an all-in pile-on on Ms Radeck (which since she is a two time loser is getting into the territory of bullying, although she did lead with her chin), why don’t we accept that here we have a person who has put herself (and some of her own money presumably) forward twice now to seek public office, something none of us have done. Now whatever her policies, she is no Magpie just warbling away behind a keyboard.AND we have here someone, wisely of otherwise, so far willing to engage in open exchanges. So with that in mind, why don’t we, without rancour or smart-arsery, ask her some genuine questions – real ones, not point scoring silly ones. The ‘Pie will start:

            Ms Radeck, will you be standing for KAP in the state elections later this year?

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Ms Radeck, the electors in your division sent you a message to pluck off – I agree. Good luck if you try again in another election, your gunna need it! IBP

          • The Stasi says:

            Hey Ms Radeck, a minor point re your latest missive – we’re not all men. Leave that thought with you.

        • Pat Coleman says:

          She is a school teacher. Yet she showed every kid she taught that it was OK to seek the company of nazi loving gun nuts. People who sprout “The Australian race of people” (whatever the fuck that means) whilst being funded by the arms industry. Then she gave a lie to any claim to labor principles by Jenny Hill when she took her on board.

          Scott Stewart, keep in mind what I just said when you pref them 2nd again.

          You were a teacher, good thing is was only maths eh?

          Its just about the numbers, both in votes stolen through compulsory preferential voting and the amount labor gets in bribes and money from illegal donors laundered through their lobbyists . Fine example you set too Scott.

          • Nanette Radeck says:

            Happy to take questions; might set a few of you grumpy ol’ men straight too…

            No, I’m not going to run for a State seat. That would be madness. I’m actually going to keep doing what I’ve always loved and get more involved in our community too. And yes, I’ve forked out all my spare cash (and have a loan to pay back as well).

            Funny business this is, the desire to represent your community, to want to do good for others, facilitate change etc means you’ve got to expose all of yourself, be attacked for almost everything ranging from what you wear to what you communicate, be lied about, instantly disliked in some cases, bullied and called names, not to mention you need to also fund the chance and pretty much work 7 days a week to boot…all just to get a chance (the voters decide whether they want you in the job or not, and rightly so).

            Lucky I come from pretty resilient NQ stock and truly believe that if you want to make change, you need to stand up and have a go. So, I take my hat off to anyone who runs for public office, and does it properly – win or lose – because I know first hand the work that’s involved.

            If you campaign properly, regardless of the outcome, you do get to meet a lot of good people, be inspired and even solve problems for others along the way. This is the part I enjoyed immensely and to be honest, I have absolutely no regrets.

      • Nanette Radeck says:

        Hey Stasi, I stopped at your pseudonym…I was going to reply to your statement, but then realised…don’t want to stir up someone linking themselves to one of the most hated and feared institutions of the East German communist government. Have a great day!

        • Desperado, out riding fences says:

          Nanette, they’re just shit-stirring. Don’t bite, they’ll keep going even harder!

        • The Stockman says:

          Nanette, whether or not you think you have conducted yourself with integrity is irrelevant. The fact is, the electorate respected you when you ran as a KAP candidate. You campaigned hard and fairly in the last State election. You may have lost that race, but you won a lot of fans. Indeed, if you had been campaigning again in October 2020, I reckon you would have been a fair chance of getting over the line. However, as soon as you jumped on the Jenny Hill (Labor) bandwagon, you lost us all, and you’ll never win us back.
          Case closed.

          • Nanette Radeck says:

            Thank you for sharing your opinion, but what you do forget is that you’re not actually travelling in my shoes. It’s easy to be a critic on the sidelines; we all do it. It’s also easy to form an opinion on what we believe to be true with whatever information we think gives us enough perspective. Obviously I don’t agree with you otherwise I would have chosen that road. At the end of the day so many things in life are a gamble; it’s is all about choices, some calculated/educated, some a bit more risky, but that’s life…what I can say definitively, however, is the only impossible journey anyone can travel is the one never begun.

          • Not the ECQ says:

            You were never on the case that you think is closed, Stockman. Ms Radeck was not a candidate in the last State election.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          I have a question for you Nanette, what the hell did you hope to achieve, unless you were prepared to take a stand against the Mullet once elected, you would have achieved nothing. Townsville is an economic basket case, an investment backwater due to an anti development Mayor and council who screw developers over so much they just abandon the place and invest elsewhere. Nothing will change now for another 4 years, as the same anti development Mayor and lackey spineless councillors will continue to run the joint, in exactly the same way they have in the past, and you would have just been another one of them. Now you are some self appointed advocate, advocating what, for Townsville to continue to fail the way it has in the past, because that’s what you would have done as a Labor councillor under Jenny Hill.

          • Nanette Radeck says:

            Well, ‘tanker, to put it simply I planned on being a bloody good councillor, and that’s the truth! Of course any other ideas I had are all immaterial now. The advocacy stuff is about doing what I can to promote projects and/or bring issues, initiatives, challenges to the fore as a social media influencer / educator. There are no bells and whistles, accolades nor any financial gains in any of this. I’ve a few little projects on the boil with a couple of other people who love Townsville and the north the way I do. I won’t sit idle nor fade away. I care about the future of our city, and I’ve a few years left in me yet. Of course I will keep teaching high school kids too. They keep me focussed and driven.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            That’s the bit I find inconsistent Nanette , caring about the future of this city you say, whilst at the same time wanting to be part of the team of people who put us in this mess in the first place, anyway good luck with them high school kids.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Maybe Nanette could take over the TRRA and add some credibility. Poor of ‘tin-foil’ Pete is losing it.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”

  2. George Orwell says:

    Governments will use a crisis, any crisis, to introduce powers and draconian measures under legislation while their constituents are either asleep at night or distracted by their own problems. This is happening right now all around the world with COVID-19 being the ‘excuse’. Social distancing laws; the Governemnt won’t repeal these once the crisis is over. And why would they, I mean it’s working to prevent protests in Bangkok and France isn’t it? That’s just one example. And now mobile phone Apps, of course E.T lookalike Dutton is pushing for these. Yes we know, it’s only to assist us in stealing clear of people who have COVID-19. Its innocent. I call bullshit – just another way for Big Brother to monitor us and remove more of our freedom and liberties. Keep an eye on the bouncing ball people, Team Morrison are more sinister than you may think.

  3. Mike Douglas says:

    Senior Federal Government Ministers must be shaking in their boots as the Astonisher reports “ Aaron Harper gloved up for a fight with the Federal Government “ to join the Queensland Governments $200 mil to rescue Virgin . Harpers google analytics rate will sky rocket as the Feds google “ who the hell is Aaron Harper “ . Note to Aaron , Virgin lost $300 mil last year and majority owned by Singapore / Hanan / Edihad airlines . Sending a RUOK to the person/ persons behind TRRA Facebook page because although the Council election finished a few weeks ago and Council sworn in Friday all the failed campaign manager for NQSA can post is “ we were robbed “ and blame everyone else including the Chinese . As the Pie suggested , delete Townsville off your name as 5-10 people commenting negatively in a city of 190,000 with Xenophobic comments does nothing for this City .

  4. Mickey Spillall says:

    Is there anybody around town that can pull together something, anything, that resembles a post Coronavirus economic game plan for the region? Seems like some guiding principles should be – grow trade (reduce barriers, streamline approvals for anything that supports trade), diversify (keep diversifying – new activities, new players, new investment), cut red tape for new major project development, make work from home business easier (the CBD ain’t coming back), digitalise and do it quickly. How about have a proper debate at the very least about an NQ Free Trade Zone?

  5. The Stasi says:

    Our money is on Mullet retiring, because she is in jail and when released will then seek to become the President of Malta. It is well known internationally that The Mafia run Malta, having a criminal record is a CV pre-requisite for office! You’ve hit the jackpot here Mr Magpie, you’ve called all three.

  6. Cantankerous but happy says:

    What is it with all the lefty love for Virgin airlines, Mullet, Puddleduck and Albonese all wanting to throw hundreds of millions at the dud of a business, must be a connection there I am not aware of.

    • Not the ECQ says:

      The connection you are missing is the LNP – although how you missed it defies imagination. The Morrison government is underwriting a range of Virgin and Qantas flights, spending an initial $165 million to help sustain them.

      • The Magpie says:

        The Magpie is no biz whiz so anyone care to comment on his idle thought: with the injection of all this public money into the airlines, why not a small chunk of the action, a bit of the company, and a seat on the board? Too radical? Not feasible? Genuine questions, keeping in mind we will emerge from this a very different society.

        • Amelia Earhart says:

          Pie, the Government could do that. Virgin receives new owners with either State or Federal injection, and that new part owner then gets a seat on the Board. The issue is the airline hasn’t made a profit for 10 years, has a joke of a structure and a joke of a business layout. Sadly, our Governments are an even bigger joke and they fuck up everything they touch. It would be more waste of taxpayer money having an incompetent Government involved. Seriously, let them fold and let another Phoenix rise from the ashes of Virgin Airlines.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Phoenix Airlines, I like that Amelia.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Did I hear rightly that there is a China based company likely to put an offer on Virgin?
            If that is the case, wouldn’t the FIRB have something to say?

          • The Stasi says:

            I like that Amelia and Plucked. Perhaps their brand could be: ‘PHOENIX AIRLINES – WE STAND FOR NOTHING’.

          • Pat Coleman says:

            Phoenix Air ? Run by Bob Evernett of McKracken fame?

        • Traveller says:

          Good questions ‘Pie. Money gets put in either as a gift / subsidy, a loan or as equity. Why gift it if you can get equity? A loan could be convertible to equity. The problem that exists generally is that once one group starts to get some sort of a concession of bale out then the next group joins the queue. Closing one bit of the economy has domino effects so one week after another, a new sector or industry group will need help.

          • The Magpie says:

            Indeed. That gift/subsidy will in the end benefit the eventual buyer. In other words, in a reverse of the nolrm, we will be paying someone to buy something, a quirky commission if ever there was one. It seems to The ‘Pie’s rudimentary understanding of these things that a rightist government could practice what its coda preaches, let Virgin go belly up, and stand back from the absolutely certain rush to get into the Australian domestic market. This makes even more sense (not necessarily ethical) now that the coalition governments have virtually broken the aviation unions by inter alia outlawing secondary boycotts. An d employees will have to face the reality of paying to have jobs, in the form of lower (but not crippling) incomes.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Not the $165 million to keep a few jets flying around ECQ, I am talking about the hundreds of millions or billions buying the fucking thing to stop it from folding. Allowing it to go under may well be the best thing for it, fuck off a few deadbeat shareholders, piss off a few of its poor lease options on its wide bodied aircraft and return as a lean, one frame domestic carrier, what is always should have been. I agree with the feds regarding not loaning it the $1.4 billion, just can’t understand Labor’s support of the loan, must be a reason, might need to check the share registry.

        • Old Tradesman says:

          CBH, wasn’t it the Virgin CEO Paul Scurrah who has a ski lodge and invites Labor pollies, Fentiman for one, and who later fails to declare it on her register of interests.

        • Amelia Earhart says:

          They have $1 billion in cash ( probably $800m now as they are bleeding $4m per day), they have $5.4b in debt and basically nil assets, plus they are 90% foreign owned. They are a lemon of a business. COVID May have been the last nail in their coffin but they’ve been nailing themselves for the best part of 10 years. Sadly, it is a shit investment and it’s dead in the water. Let it fail and then let a Phoenix rise from its ashes. That’s business. Very sad for the good people at Virgin, but the previous CEO and current Board are to blame. Fuckwits.

      • Xi says:

        Near 40% of Virgin Australia is owned by the Chinese government, another 40% is owned by Etihad and Singapore Airlines – let them help out!

        • Bo Xilai says:

          Chairman Xi, if they do – and as shareholders they should, and perhaps drag in a few friends to help out – will this then unleash the next wave of BS about foreign ownership? Probably …. can’t wait for the next instalment from that Buffoon Tin Foil Newey … yep, the virus was cunningly released to enable the takeover of NQ with Virgin airlines being the stalking horse.

          • The Magpie says:

            Pete no doubt thinks that evil equestrian centre at Bluewater is full of stalking horses.

  7. Pat Coleman says:

    Google “white powder scare Townsville”

    You will see over the years that there was a number of white powder scares. The first one was in Oct 2001. A month before the Tampa election.

    All the other ones including stories about strange unidentified boxes being left in public places were also in the year or months preceding later elections.

    One would have thought, that if the threat was real, then real measures would have been taken years ago to obtain a very substantial stockpile of PPE in case of emergency.

    I would venture to suggest, given the pattern and context, the lack of measures taken to obtain such a stockpile, that these scares were engineered by the LNP’s dirty tricks squad to keep national security on top of the agenda.

    That it smacked of university level dirty tricks, most likely by the young LNP types – Australia’s home-grown Hitler Youth or “ERSATZ- GRUPPEN” as I like to call them.

    Obtaining such a stockpile on the back of that – back then would have represented a semi-respectable attempt to cover up the set up enable by the Murdoch press.

  8. Sir Rabbittborough says:

    I saw a story on the news which was another example of media not having the brains to ask the right questions.

    An irate woman was making a point:

    “My husband is a Virgin airline pilot”

    Immediately they should have asked her:

    “Is it a marriage of convenience then?”

    And “Don’t you think then that he really wanted to be steward then?”

    And given her some sound advice:

    “Just tickle him in the right places and he will come around eventually”

  9. Why is it so? says:

    It is common knowledge that many people did not vote in the local election due to fear of the covid-19 virus. Does any body know the actual percentage of Townsville residents who actually voted in the local election? Because if the percentage is low, then this so-called new council is not the true elected representatives of the residents. This election win is very strange that many residents were very disillusioned by the behaviour of this council in the past: eg 1. saying Townsville didn’t have a water crisis during horrific drought so WFTAG had to make the Burdekin pipeline happen, 2. during the 2019 deluge Hill waited till the Ross Dam was over 240% then releasing the water to cause dreadful flooding, 3. supporting a battery plant in Ross Dam catchment area, 4. wanting to pay for a non local airstrip for Adani, 5. limited transparency most things are commercial in confidence….just to name a few…. The people should be heard with a new local election

    • The Magpie says:

      Good luck.

    • J jones says:

      So how would the result be any different?

      Are you saying those who didn’t vote weren’t team hill supporters?

      How do you know that?

    • Scientician79 says:

      If you look on the electoral commission website you can see the final counts for each of the Divisions and Mayor.


      From a quick scan through it looks to me like most divisions around 75% of the votes were counted before the result was declared.

      Even if every one of those uncounted votes went against team hill, which seems unlikely, I still don’t think it would be enough to change any of the results.

      The simple answer is despite all of Mullet’s failings over the last four years the majority of people in this town wanted four more years of Mullet and the aerobics class, with the exception of Sue Blom, and that’s what we now have.

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, although it might seen like sore loser logic, there is the opinion, even from Labor insider who just LOVE Magpie whispering, that while Hill may have won anyway, Sam’s campaign was a bit amateurish, it was the extraordinary circumstances of the virus and a spooked electorate that helped get her across the line. They quoted studies that have shown that in times of crisis, voters don’t like change, because taking a punt to change an administration is enough in itself to cause some anxiety, but when you add a ‘crisis’ to that, the incumbent has to be caught doing gross things with small furry animals to lose.

        That said, this victory is sweet for Mayor Mullet because she knows it will be her last one …. so she doesn’t have to consider the sobering thought that a 10% swing against her counts for nought. The ‘Pie would’ve thought, with no virus factor, the swing would’ve been bigger I(but not enough to oust her) but the margin would indicate that she does not have a mandate for all the daft, irresponsible and often deeply ignorant schemes she comes up with.

        PS The Magpie most certainly is no sore loser, indeed, he was wondering what he’d do if she lost. Life would be so dull in The Nest. Doubt she fails the same way.

      • Not the ECQ says:

        It’s reasonable that the Townsville mayoral result was declared with about 75% of the votes counted and a winner pretty obvious. However, the Palm Island one looks much less clear. There, the declared mayor only polled about 25% and the second place was on about 21%. You’d think it would be necessary to look at the preference distribution to pick a winner but apparently not.

    • Occam's Razor says:

      Based on Mayoral count only; in 2012, voter turnout was 79%, in 2016 it was 81% and in 2020 it looks to be around 75%…..so just a tad more than the US voter turnout to elect the leader of the “free world”

  10. Jatzcrackers says:

    Reading today’s Sunday Woman’s Weekly, an article caught my eye where the NRL, as part of their revised strict health guidelines, will be washing balls during matches. I’m thinking there’s no end to the benifits/quirks/rewards of being an NRL footy player ! Just wondering if they plan to stop play for this activity or work around the packing of a scrum ?

  11. Desperado, out riding fences says:

    G’day All, very peaceful and quiet out here on the fence lines. Enjoy checking in now and then when I have a signal – keep the banter and the jokes coming! Thank you Mr Magpie for being the conduit.

  12. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    When it comes to taking action to reduce chances of catching the dreaded ‘Rona, I hope the Govt isn’t considering this as a Stage 4 option. Definitely a case of the cure being worse than the disease….


  13. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Astonisher has issued a storm warning over the next few hours.
    Predicting Servere thunderstorms with large hailstones.
    Tennis ball to baseball sized hail up to 80mm is expected.
    Lets see how accurate their warning is.

    • The Magpie says:

      Don’t think we can blame them if it’s wrong … and of course, they’d cop shit if it is right and they didn’t issue a warning.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Large hail stones in the tropics? Please study the Manual of Meteorology Vol 1 &2.

        I can advise that it has never occured in Kelso and I have been in the area since 1974.

        Up here it did not flood during the Night of Noah or the Great Mullet Flood of Feb 2019 either.

        Treat with great scepticism the hyperventilating jottings of Southern bred junior journalists. They do the reputation of the area no justice.

        • Charlie Wulguru says:

          D of K (Johnny Come Lately). It DOES hail in the Tropics and it HAS hailed in Townsville.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            You are correct. It can hail in the tropics and the hail will grow no bigger than a pea or a child’s marble. Nothing that will cause damage or injury.

          • Alahazbin says:

            DoK. I can remember hail the size of golf/squash balls in Currajong around 1967/68.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Well all, since we’re talking memories, I remember when petrol was 13 cents a litre!

          • The Magpie says:

            Hah! Whippersnapper! The ‘Pie can remember when it was 10d A GALLON.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Once in 52 or 53 years? That suggests my statements are reasonably correct, doesn’t it.

        • CEO of Crap says:

          1985 Cranbrook (Townsville) hail size of small to large marbles looked like it had been snowing. Next day we lost our hills hoist when lightening struck it.

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        If you read the BOM site warnings, it’s wrong. Written by a journo that thinksTownsville is a suburb of Rocky

        • Hondaman says:

          The hail storms in the mid/ late 60’s were certainly damaging to local cars! I have a friend whose MGB sports car suffered serious damage to the panels, and it was certainly not a laughing matter.

  14. Mike Douglas says:

    Gotta love the hide of LGAQ ( local Government association Queensland ) Ceo Greg Hallam who has presented a $608 mil battle plan to the Queensland Government to provide 14,000 jobs thru local Councils . Hallam LGAQ quasi “ local buy “ program has done more on job losses in Council areas by locking local small business suppliers out of tendering by having a pre approved tender process for Councils with many of LGAQ,s suppliers out of town pocketing rate payers profits costing local jobs . Qld Local Council Minister Stirling announced dec 2018 seeking more information on LGAQ “ local buy “ program based on the number of complaints . So with LGAQ board members Mayor Mullet and Alf Lacey LGAQ are liable to pick up a clip on the $200 mil capital works program thru their approved suppliers . Congrats also Pie on your “ pushing buttons cartoon” , I see you got some traction on Twitter .

    • The Magpie says:

      All credit there to the brilliant Bentley.

      • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

        The cartoon very accurately captured your profile Magpie – he did a great job.

        • The Magpie says:

          The Magpie would like it on the record that he WAS NOT attempting a bit of up-skirting.

          • Achilles says:

            HMMMMM, maybe a Freudian slip there, would never have noticed until you raised it. Took a second look and the line of sight is directly on the downunder.

          • The Magpie says:

            And let The ‘Pie assure you, he took a second (third, fourth and fifth) look to ensure wasn’t intruding on the fine and silkies.

  15. Go Self Interest, Go you good thing says:

    The only true motivation is self-interest.

    Since 1st February 2020 to 19th April 2020 there have been 6606 cases of COVID-19 and 70 deaths by comparison 100 people died on Australian Roads in March 2020 https://www.bitre.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/rda_mar_2020.pdf remembering average annual hospitalised injuries from road accidents are approx. 38,945, these numbers are no longer published monthly.

    With COVID-19 data showing two things 1/ the pandemic is well managed 2/ the pandemic never reached maximum expectations in Australia or globally. Then why is the Federal Government insisting social distancing will remain for the long term.

    The politics is intriguing – long term social distancing means no pubs, clubs, casinos etc. In Queensland this equates to activity generating more than 10% of state revenue. If a Federal Government was ever able to leverage the States to agree to abolish some State taxes and agree to GST increases is now.
    Watch for the shift to more Federal control.

    The Virgin situation is just politics – Paul Scurrah’s links to ALP are clouding judgement. Paul is not a political puppet, but has taken advantage of politics, some people can’t see past the colour of the team he and his family worked for.

    It is possible to be a good, productive employee and not be a staunch member.

    The real push for Virgin to fail is Cabotage – foreign owned and operated airlines flying domestic routes, lowering wage costs, increasing competition and diversifying risk. Federal Govt revenue from airlines comes from greater economic activity and increase in air traffic. The Qld Govt was baited into the fight with talk of head office moving to Melbourne or Sydney. The Feds now have divided the States.

    Always back self-interest – it is the only one in the race consistently trying.

    • The Magpie says:

      And thank you Paul Keating (for the cheesy cliche). And just loved your strangely specific approximitisation of 38,945 … a close guess eh?

      One thing The ‘Pie has trouble with is the claim by some people (particularly Trumpet blowers in the US) in comparing road toll death and drownings with corona virus, honking on about greater fatalities but that ‘they didn’t ban cars or swimming pools did they?’ No they didn’t, because you can’t ‘catch’ a fatal road accident – it is what it says it is, an accident, and on-lookers don’t suddenly keel over because they’ve caught a road death. But have a think, lunkheads … drink drive laws and responsible service of alcohol laws were introduced, curtailing what hitherto had been a couple of fatal ‘freedoms’ we use to enjoy. Same with drowning, the event can’t be passed on to another party, it is a very singular thing. Mandatory pool fences, same thing.

    • Achilles says:

      Oh please don’t start using stats that have 666’s in them.

  16. Gold rolled genuine news says:

    Gold rolled genuine news from reliable sources

    There will never be a vaccine for the Virus (guess I’ll have to man up and go outside)

    The virus came from China. Whether it was a bat or pangolin that infected the whole world or it escaped from a virology lab is up for debate (my money is on the latter).

    Endangered Pangolins are no longer on the menu (never liked them anyway, bit gamey for my taste)

    China is exploiting the Virus for its own purposes (as you do).

    • The Magpie says:

      Please point out to us where the ABC article says, or even quotes a debatable opinion that there will NEVER be a vaccine for COVID-19. Can’t find it.

      • Gold rolled genuine news says:

        Magpie, you are absolutely right, perhaps I overstated my conclusion.

        • The Magpie says:

          Gotta watch out for that fake news, or you’ll be Fool’s Gold.

          • Not the ECQ says:

            Speaking of fake news that Foreign Policy article had a pretty dubious conclusion. It said – Unlike China, liberal democracies possess the flexibility, curiosity, and cultural ingenuity to learn from this experience and emerge stronger to face the next crisis that befalls them.

            As we watch the US crash and writhe its hard to see any cultural ingenuity, especially from its great leader.

  17. One legged tap dancer says:

    With Sue Blom the only opposition to Jenny Hill’s arm raising team it will be very interesting to see if she does anything else but go along for the ride.
    Already she has been quoted – in the Astonisher, mind you, so may not be true – as saying she “worked very well with Jenny Hill” in the past.
    Blom will be the sole voice for the 50% of Townsvilleans who didn’t vote for Hill as mayor, so the next few weeks will tell the story.
    Will she tackle Hill on the dodgy deals our mayor gets involved in with startling regularity, or will she just take her pay and not rock the boat.
    The eyes of 50% of voters are watching, Sue.
    Be brave.

    • Occam's Razor says:

      OLTD, what a load of bollocks holding Sue Blom up as some saviour…but what else to expect from the anti-Hill peanut gallery. Firstly, every time you make, see or endorse a comment about our high rates and try and level the blame at Hill and Co think again and be sure to thank Sue Blom and her Tyrell cohort. In the space of 4 short years, she and her colleagues increased city debt by 590% and with it rates by 40%, the latter in order to avoid the city becoming insolvent. Second, as for this former hairdresser being the sole voice of 50% of Townsvilleans, think again…62% after preferences for Hill, not to mention Divisional Councillors in the Hill Team scoring between 60-74%. PS I am assuming its your right leg that is missing (think about it) along with one of your eyes!!

      • The Magpie says:

        Gotta love this shadow-boxing across the battlefields of yore, with the main weapon on both sides being pointless selectivity.

    • Not the ECQ says:

      Legless can view Cr Blom and all the others in action at an online Full Council meeting live streamed on council’s website next Tuesday, 28th April starting at 1pm. Search for live stream in the search tab or by clicking on the following link – https://www.townsville.qld.gov.au/about-council/council-meetings/live-stream-of-meetings

  18. Turd Burner says:

    According to the Urban Dictionary, a Turd Burner is:

    ‘An individual too preoccupied with trivial concerns, to make any meaningful contribution to anything of substance and value.’

    So, this obviously applies to the three Labor member stooges, but does it apply to any contributors to this blog? Just wondering………TB.

  19. I’ll be plucked says:

    Hey Private Cupcake you economic misfit, don’t give Virgin one cent of taxpayers money – your ridiculous dog-whistling on 7 local news again tonight was nothing short of EMBARRASSING! 200 million for a lemon airline that has been mismanaged for at least the last 10 plus years! Cupcake, get in the corner and put a pointy hat on, you economic dunce! Pluck me!!!

  20. Low altitude flyer says:

    With Virgin Australia going into voluntary administration, it appears as if Gill and Hill’s campaign against Qantas has backfired rather spectacularly

    • Amelia Earhart says:

      Hopefully Qantas will have the last laugh over Hill and Gill the pair of dills. Not good for the people of Townsville though.

      • The Magpie says:

        Please don’t elevate that pair of buffoons to noteworthy status. When madam made her Qantas boycott call, there was much merriment at the regular afternoon drinkies in Dear Alan’s office, a story that started out ‘Ye’ll niver beeleeve what some daft colleen in north Queensland has said, bejasus, she wants us boycotted!! oh stoppit, me sides are splittin’, what a craik. Givus another G & T, sweet boy.’

        The Qantas media department, all professionals, had the killer response … they totally ignored it.

        • Al says:

          Yep. Well said mate

        • Airline says:

          All Qantas Staff Rostered On/Off & even on Sick Leave/LSL (1) Were advised by Townsville Management Via the Qantas media Department if they were approached by the media in Townsville to reply “NO COMMENT” … It Worked 100%…

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Townsvilles theme song


    • CEO of Crap says:

      Maybe Air Malta will move in to replace VA in Townsville?

  21. Just Say'n says:

    US President Donald Trump says America will cash in on record low oil prices by stockpiling as many as 75 million barrels for strategic reserves.

    “Get it for the right price,” Mr Trump said at a press conference in Washington.

    I hope Australia is doing the same.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Get it for the right price??? WTF, it’s going for minus 38 bucks US a barrel!! Oil outfits are paying you to take it off their hands!

  22. The Stasi says:

    Virgin voluntary administration is a corporate scam of the very weak company structure in Australia. The country is littered with company’s and individuals who have either liquidated, or gone into administration – many of them start again without penalty, clean skates and some poor bastard(s) carries the financial can (especially former employees).

    These scammers re-emerge and keep making money, whilst creditors and employees have to fight them for money owed. What a cluster-fuck of a system we ‘offer and encourage’ as a business option in this country!

    • Achilles says:

      If they had some commercial nous I hope they filled the fuel tanks while the price is at its lowest in years.

    • CEO of Crap says:

      First hand from the ‘inside’ – an aviation worker told me how some time ago they sold 2 planes to Virgin Australia and with the money from VA they purchased (a much larger number of) more planes. This person could not believe the deal that had been done, it made no sense at all.

  23. The Magpie says:

    The ‘Pie always an ardent collector of interesting names, notes that London Times journo Roger Boyes has recovered from corona virus. One trusts that this is not taken as a curative activity. The news came from The ‘Pie’s long time pommy mate Nick Mawer, whose own name is redolent of Fagin’s instructions to his young likely lads.

  24. Swami Manboub Siphpusser says:

    I’m just waiting for the memes to start coming – insert your favourite pollie and “Virgin- One prick and its gone” ….can see it coming a mile off

    • Achilles says:

      A bit like been stripped of her assets… no more cherry red logo. Like the Virgin chairman, it only takes one prick and it’s gone.

  25. Fuckwit says:

    Hello Bloggers, I chose this name because The Magpie told me to.

  26. Arthur Itis says:

    The Corona isolation may be a blessing in disguise re her Brisbane jaunts for the the ‘Old Grey Mayor’. With no car and her virgin days seemingly gone, the Ova-lord might have had to learn to turn both cheeks to get a ride from the Rainbow Stallion and his Flying Kangaroo…..and put up with a bit of shit.

  27. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Dickhead, I shouldn’t be a lazy bastard and open the whole file first and read the bloody thing, it’s at the Mater, private funded.

  28. I’ll be plucked says:

    Headline running with the title that ‘no jobs are planned to be lost due to Virgin collapse’ – no wonder the outfit is broke when you have the leadership talking such rubbish. The Administrators will decide whether happens next, including who stays/goes, NOT the people responsible for the absolute mess in the first place!

    This mob have been on their knees for over 10 years!

    • CEO of Crap says:

      They will lose 50% staff minimum, and likely over 50% of planes. No international flights, no country regional. Pilots will have to bring their own coffee.

  29. Alahazbin says:

    Reports via the USA that the North Korean despot is gravely Ill and brain dead. I thought he was brain dead for years.

  30. Allan RE joice. says:

    I would like to offer an olive branch to our newly reelected mayor. Let me be the first to bury the axe. My main competition is now completely fucked and also has the surport of the labor party, what a double wammy!! And since youll be needing flights to and from Brisbane for the coranors count hearings this year ill even throw in a free Qantas club membership. Boycott is just another word for “I love you allan”

  31. Dave Sth says:

    Ol one legged one…

    Don’t expect much of Sue. Seems like a nice lady, like Deb of Nanango. Mullet like Palace”chook” won’t be too worried.


    Nice stoush with Nannette up blog, I agree with Stockman even though he may have muddled elections. Barely sums my position perfectly. Soon as she sold her soul to the devil that was it for me & I had her on the top of my ticket in the last Fed election. Never again, she will lurk below the greens on my ballot when/if I move north again if she chooses to stand. The city needs a new direction & clean out of the parasites that infect it in Walker st. Re-electing Mullet and the elevation of Mooney is not a step in that direction.

    Hope all are safe up there. Not too much Wuhan virus in the Hunter unless you get to Newy or Lake Mac. Winter is on the doorstep here & I am missing my second winter away from the north where it is much more agreeable. Keep well especially you Pie, I have Melbourne based close family member who has had chemo last year that I worry about.

  32. Stuffed says:

    One wonders whether this puts Gill the Dill’s dream of a terminal expansion/Virgin lounge on the back burner for another 5 years?

    Does it also mean that the obstacle course at the entrance to the Qantas lounge will also be removed? How this was not rated as a serious fire exit risk has had me perplexed.

  33. Jatzcrackers says:

    It’s been hard slog for some time for Virgin Australia. The board made some fairly impacting wrong decisions along the way including starting a price war with cheap flights as they attempted to get a foothold. One of the worst, and probably the worst decision, was purchasing Tiger Air and then compounding that bad decision by getting rid of all of Tigers fleet of Airbuses and replacing them with Boeing’s. Pilot retraining, maintenance retraining etc just added more huge cost to the original bad idea.
    Old Joyce must be rubbing his hands together, planning for the reopening of our state boarders eventually, knowing that even though Virgin are in voluntary liquidation, they won’t be flying aircraft here again !

    • Old Tradesman says:

      Crispy biscuit, Virgin is in administration not liquidation, what needs to be liquidated however, are our three galah stooges along with Cameron Dick and his big bazooka for demanding that the Feds put in $1.4 billion to a failed corporation. No wonder Townsville and Queensland are stuffed.

      • The Magpie says:

        Always thought that suggesting one was going to use a ‘bazooka’ to save an airline was a very unfortunate metaphor. Dick by name, Dick by nature.

      • NQ Gal says:

        Cameron Dick has come out swinging as he probably hasn’t had his skiing trip to Canada, staying at Labor mates Paul & Nicole Scurrah’s $7 million “not luxurious” pad.

        Paul of course is/was the CEO of Virgin, and his wife is the former COS for the original Aunty Anna, and now consulting for PWC on how to reduce the government’s consultancies bill.

        • The Magpie says:

          Hang on a sec, let’s make sure we’ve got this right (and The ‘Pie doesn’t doubt you, it sounds about par for the course).

          The government has employed a consultant to advise how to cut down on consultancies and their costs?

          • NQ Gal says:

            Correct – hiring a consultant to advise on how to reduce the cost of consultants. I understand that she is even working from an office in the flash new state government HQ, rather than the PWC building.

          • The Magpie says:

            Who’s running Queensland, Monty Python?

          • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

            YES is the short answer

          • NQ Gal says:

            In answer to Who is running Qld, well, that would be Trad, who at least had the sense to list HER freebie accommodation at Chalet Scurrah on the Register of Members Interests.

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Old Tradie, you’re right, I stand corrected. No question re the three galahs, they always come up with a plan that involves someone else’s money ! Usually ours !!!

    • The Magpie says:

      Here’s something worth remembering for those who advocate chucking taxpayer dollars down the gurgler to save the inevitable – and already – doomed Virgin. From the best honest stiletto pen in the business.

  34. Gumby says:

    All good at your end Mr Magpie? No posts yet today – I said good at your end, NOT good with your end!!! :)

  35. The Magpie says:


  36. Unreal’estate says:

    An article from our GayBC today’ mentions that Townsville realestate will rebound this year!! Ben Kingsberry, a wooly mammoths from the REIQ reckons prices are at rock bottom and the only way is up! Wonder what type of weed Ben is smoking? The article mentions COVID, floods and 10 years worth of downturn, but it mentions nothing about Doona Hill winning 4 more years in charge of rooting the Townsville economy even further. Surely prices will plunge even further under Sargent Hill’s leadership as Townsvilles debt creeps up, crime worsens and businesses bail out from the region? I mean, that’s what has been happening for the past 4 years already.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Yes for some reason some of the dumb dickheads around this town think that because we were fucked before Covid19 that somehow we will be less fucked after it. Valuations will fall anyway because banks will adjust lending criteria and LVR across all their calculations, not on any regional basis. Townsville may fair slightly better in the unemployment stats due to a lower exposure to tourism and hospitality but only marginally, and because we are such a poorly run economy the basics don’t change, every person that comes to Townsville for employment simply allows someone who wants to leave to do so, hence job creation is virtually worthless.

  37. Mike Douglas says:

    Another few years of these pearlers from Mayor Mullet . When asked if she would use the Federal Government Corona Virus app her response “ I don’t feel comfortable with technology “ . I wonder if she would support it if we had a Federal Labor Government ? . The Business Community knows, if it’s not the Mullets idea it’s unlikely to be supported by Council .

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:


      she wouldn’t want anything showing where she really is when the is in “important council meetings”

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Hey Civil, can you please have another go, not making sense at the mo. Thank you.

        • Non Aligned Worker says:

          Plucker. It is a skill known as “reading” added with “comprehension”, you should try it sone day.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Gee, thanks Non-nothing. Take your own advice and read it again, slowly. Also check your spelling before posting. Thank you again.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            PS NAW, do you always stick your nose in where it’s not wanted? My original comment was to Civil, not plucking you! Extract your nose from this convo, please.

          • The Magpie says:

            Editorial note: ANYBODY can reply to ANY OTHER PERSON who posts a comment here … this is not a private chat room governed by names. The ‘Pie will let you know when it’s your turn to make up the rules, Plucker, don’t be such a snowflake.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Get plucked Pie! Thanks for the reminder on blog rules :)

          • The Magpie says:

            Plucker, tickle me arse with a feather …. err, sorry, particularly nasty weather.

    • CEO of Crap says:

      I’m tipping the Mayor will ‘retire’ mid term.

      • The Magpie says:

        Again, as said in the last blog, the choice of the new deputy doo-dah is all important. You can bet Les Messagebank Walker will be there with dollar signs rolling through his eyes like a pensioner’s pokie. He’s gunna be real pissed off, unless Mayor Mullet has one last practical joke to play on Townsville.

        • Alahazbin says:

          Who did end up becoming ‘deputy Doo dash’?
          Or is the meeting still going?

          • Alahazbin says:

            Mollichino is Deputy DooDah.

          • Alahazbin says:


            Is Mark Molachino.

            He takes over from Les Walker.

            Meanwhile, at the special meeting today, Townsville City Council established a dedicated coronavirus recovery taskforce to bring together business, community and governments.

            The taskforce will report to the Council monthly.

            Mayor Jenny Hill said modelling indicates it may take between three to five years for communities to recover from the impacts of the virus.

          • The Magpie says:

            And as usual, as The Magpie appears to be a bit more in touch and informed than the Bulletin, his tip of three weeks ago has come to pass. (But he thought the decision would be made next week.)

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Well that fucken explains a lot about TCC doesn’t it! No wonder the IT department spent so much last year… The Mullet wasn’t comfortable…

  38. Memory Man says:

    Here’s a report that points to contracting demand for imported coal in India. This does not suggest that Adani’s project in Queensland is impacted. The more general point is that this illustrates how regions dependant on natural resources exports is not left unscathed.


    • Not the ECQ says:

      Unfortunately MM, the linked report is not really relevant to Adani because its coal will go to India regardless of that government’s needs or its particular qualities. One report I read said that in the Queensland Land Court transcript, Adani’s head of mining operations Llewellyn Lezar says the average energy content of Carmichael coal would be 4950 kilocalories per kilogram and the ash content about 26%. This was reported by the ABC earlier this week (2017). The Carmichael coal would likely have higher ash content and lower energy content than exported coal from countries including Russia, South Africa and Columbia – three countries that shipped power plant coal to India in 2016.

  39. The Magpie says:


  40. The Magpie says:

    There’s millions of ‘em, but this is one of the very best. Super clever … and true.


  41. I’ll be plucked says:

    I hear Mullet is setting up what has been termed a COVID19 TASK FORCE – why??? For fuck sake this is ridiculous – just do your job, with the councillors and stop rooting around with unnecessary bullshit! What’ next, the task force members have to work from home???

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Why would the Mullet waste good crisis. A chance to run around in circles, hands in the air, shouting, “Look at me, look at me, I’m doing something for you.” The Mullet is not one to waste a good disteaction. In rhe meanwhile…………………….

    • Arthur Itis says:

      ….and the Ova-lord’s first words at the first meeting… I so late, I so late…..and duly recorded as ……..

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      Think it’s called shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic, Plucker !

  42. Tin Foil says:

    Took off the foil today to soak up a few Newey Waves …. and wow, some amazing dots just started joining up right before my eyes. Don’t let anyone tell you there are coincidences. Don’t believe in them. Grand Poobah The Donald cutcfunding to the WHO last week. He claimed it was because it misled him, but I seem to remember he bragged that he actually ignored the Who as a sign of his own genius … anyway, no matter. The real reason is that by gutting the Who he knows the virus will spread like, well – a virus, throughout Africa where the WHO actually is pretty key to public health. And the quicker Africa is seriously infected and becomes the new global epicentre they better the Donald will look. Check this out https://www.news.com.au/world/breaking-news/africa-could-become-coronavirus-epicentre/news-story/d6a9241a57bd8f883acbb23a723a04c4 ……. the only thing is, I’m not sure if this is the kind of dot joining we’d normally expect from a dose of the Newey Waves. Better put that Tin Foil Hat back on just to be safe.

    • Russell says:

      It is also possible, Tin Foil, that President Trump is simply reacting against a sub-group of its entirely anachronistic parent body the United Nations, which long ago lost relevance in relation to world peace and is now pushing socialist/green agendas – actively fabricating future catastrophies. Their IPCC gave us anthropologically induced Global Warming/Climate Change which does not have universal scientific agreement and is essentially un-provable anyway, the WHO gave us the current pandemic where figures being produced are carefully designed to over-state the consequences and impart fear, and they are currently working on the next major catastrophy via their System of Environmental Economic Accounting.

      • The Magpie says:

        The Tangerine Arsesole is wildly reacting against anyone and anything that might make him take a modicum of responsibility, and a murky WHO is a gift to him right now. WHO, The Chinese and Trump are the makings of a perfect storm of this spirally maelstrom.

        But since we’re on the subject. The ‘Pie has for some time now been fascinated with a greatly under-reported aspect of all this … the Swedish Response. From these two articles, it is clear the it will be some months yet before ‘do as little as possible’ approach will be proven to be smart and intelligent or negligent and dumb. So far, so-so, perhaps a bit better than the frantic shut-downs elsewhere.



        • Tin Foil says:

          Here’s the Rub Pie, the Tangerine Sphincter had a pile of intel during December and January from his spies warning him of a big big problem … and under the terms of the WHO member states need to share info …. of yeah, those dastardly commies didn’t but oops, The Yanks did what with their intel? Well, one – they tried to tell trump (tin ear / not tin foil); and two they didn’t share it with the rest of the world. These guys are all into cover ups, I don’t believe any of them! Hypocrites all and Teump is the leader of the pack … cover up, fire people who disagree (they all do it), blame others – Sphincter Teump is Number One (leadings by example). Given a choice between incompetence and conspiracy I go with incompetence the Chinese were the first to underplay it all, hope and pray it wasn’t so bad, and then the Yanks mastered the play book … go incompetence, none of them are clever enough to be anything but

      • Tin Foil says:

        Wow Russ, your tin foil is wearing seriously thin …. that’s an even more grandiose work of imagination than a burst of Newey Nutter Rays could induce …. I will read your contribution as a work of irony and give you full marks …. just brilliant parody…. touché

  43. Lies says:

    When did we change the message from “We need to flatten the Curve” to “No Virus”?

    Comparisons to Spanish Flu have never eventuated and are unlikely.

    Remember only a healthy and performing economy can provide good health care outcomes. This is why life expectancy is lower in 3rd world countries compared to 1st world countries.

    It is widely accepted it takes 2 – 14 days for COVID-19 symptoms to appear and up to a further 27 days for deaths or full recovery.

    Could it be we are seeing natural run of the virus with curve flattening, rather than impacts of government interventions?

    Work it out yourself – compare “curves” then look when controls/lockdowns/restrictions where implemented. You will see it is a bold assumption to conclude all decreases are a direct results of government decisions, timeframe do not align.

    Why have we still allowed public transport to run? Ever been on a train or bus in a capital city?

  44. Richie Rich says:

    I’ve been thinking about the post COVID economic issues which are going to be huge and ongoing for some time. In regards to Superannuation, this is a tough one because early access (as has been permitted up to $10k for 2019/20 and 2020/21) is one way people can access some instant money and then contribute to the economy. But what about allowing a bigger chunk of your super to be accessed. For example, a figure of 25%? Yea you are accessing it early, but if conditions are applied such as using it for a small or medium sized existing business, a start up business or to invest in an established business, would this be a good idea? It leaves less I. Your account for down the track, but if you use it wisely it could earn you more for when you finally retire and it helps to get the economy and your personal circumstances through today’s crisis. So if you have $300k in Super, you withdraw $50k and invest in your business by purchasing a new vehicle, upgrading equipment, refurbishing the shop, upgrading infrastructure, all of which contributes to the local economy. Just a genuine thought about a process that might work in these difficult times?

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      I am amazed more haven’t taken money out, $10,000 at a 15% tax rate for this FY and another $10k next FY, anyone who is salary sacrificing effectively saves 25% tax, or $5000 on the $20k, who wouldn’t want that.

      • CEO of Crap says:

        Super withdrawals under COVID-19 are Tax Free.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Tax is paid on the way in, the fund has already paid 15% tax on your original contribution.

          • CEO of Crap says:

            Yes but you’re talking about withdrawals. They are Taxed unless you are past preservation age and converted to pension phase.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Read my comment again, My equation was specific to withdrawals against salary sacrificed amount, and the tax advantages this current opportunity provides at a 25% differential in net terms for someone paying the average 40%, and one that every financial adviser I know is advising people to take up, if they qualify. You are starting to sound a lot like another brainless dickhead we haven’t seen on here for a while, decide to rejoin Pies nest have you No more dredging.

  45. I’ll be plucked says:

    Hey Pie, your favourite President has kept the ball rolling on the ‘out there’, no sense front! He told some media types that the following should now be considered re the Virus:

    1. Investigate the possibility of getting extreme light/sunlight into human bodies, as sunlight kills of the virus quickly

    2. Disinfectant kills off the virus, so could injecting it into a human with the virus kill it off!

    Oh boy, what a plucking plonker!

    • King of Watersports says:

      Yeah, Trump, an expert now in disinfectant? This is the bloke who lives on McDonalds burgers and likes having Russian hookers piss on him, literally!! Yep, a real healthy specimen there. And let’s not on his orange Oompa Loompa appearance and presumably disfigured/grotesque shlong.

  46. I’ll be plucked says:

    You were spot on Pie! Cappuccino has been elected deputy mayor.

  47. Tin Foil says:

    Oh my God, did you see the fake news? There’s a video going around of The Donald peddling chlorine and disinfectant injection as a cure …. surely that’s deep fake. No-one could be so stupid, no-one.

    • The Magpie says:

      A real leader would’ve offered a personal demonstration.

    • Achilles says:

      Oh yes they can, the third word of your comments sums it up mate, consider the percentage of people infected with that mind virus and the credibility factor pales into insignificance.

      Find a cure for that perennial virus and a bounty of funds would “miraculously” eventuate to find a cure for every blight, well only politics would be left.

      Oh by the way, yes he did say it.

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