The problem with the dishonest use of the CinC provisions for purely political purposes is self-evident … and so is the solution. And that’s a solution that could be with us soon, if Anna Palaszczuk keeps her promise. And Albo pitches in.

And why watching Netflix could result in a charge of corruption.

A successful idea from Cairns sorely needed in Townsville … and easy to do. But will anyone bother?

What’s with The Bulletin’s obsession with recreational grief, wanting readers to continually blub for people they don’t know and never heard of?

… and just to lighten the mood, taking a walk on the dork side and talking nerdy  … who said engineers can’t be intentionally funny?  Comedian Don McMillan is new to The ‘Pie and had the old bird wheezing with his hilarious take on statistics. Plus some humour in advertising.

If you are entertained/informed/enraged/bored stiff by this weekly conglomeration, you might consider slinging a few bob to support the on-going financial demands of The Magpie’s Nest It would be greatly appreciated. The donate button is at the end of the blog.

Now onwards, and since the world can be a gloomy place nowadays, let’s start with a lighter moment of life.

Mutant Ninja Turtles May Not Be A Cartoon Joke After All.

Dolly The Sheep, pig-to-human organ transplants and animal tissue for skin grafts of burn victims … the science of cross-species medicine always venturing into new territory, and further unthought of breakthroughs are in the offing. Bentley has already spotted one, but sees there may be both benefits and drawbacks in the latest biological tinkering.

This gent would hardly need enhanced hearing; his other gene-enhanced change would keep the gals speechless.

Commercial Incompetence: Is The End Of A Favourite Political Rort In Sight?

During the week, we were treated to this yarn in The Daily Astonisher.

It seems the funding issue has been sorted, BUT reading on down, we get to this line:

‘(RFDS CEO Meredith Staib) said the State Government was also helping them purchase the land for the new base, the cost of which she says remains commercial in confidence.’

This immediately raises the question, why is this cost a secret? Anyway you look at it, whether it be Commonwealth …

…. State ($20m), the not-for-profit RFDS itself ($??) or Indigenous Land Council ($00.00), THIS IS ALL PUBLIC MONEY THAT IS INVOLVED. So what’s being hidden? Now, The ‘Pie doesn’t necessarily point a finger at Ms Staib, maybe she’s just been told what she has to say by the politicians, but whoever decided on withholding the cost of this land deal from the tax paying public, here’s a reminder of the C in C rationale.

Commercial in confidence

A classification that identifies information that, if disclosed, may result in damage to a party’s commercial interests, intellectual property or trade secrets. You must not disclose any information marked ‘Commercial in Confidence’ without permission from the party who supplied it. This type of information is protected through Confidentiality Agreements.

There are clearly no commercial interests, trade secrets  or …  gimme a bloody break … intellectual property involved in this deal. If the negotiations are still underway on the price, then say so, but surely the figure when reached should be in the public domain. (The location isn’t the focus here, but the on face of it, since it will be a greenfield site for a brand new facility,  it’s maybe part of the Happy Valley precinct.)

This was just the latest and perhaps mildest example of the misuse of C in C by political trough snufflers.  but no less infuriating and insulting.

The need for this legislated invitation to corruption needs to be overhauled pronto … and it will be, if Anna Palaszczuk keeps her word (always a question) and implements the Coaldrake Report’s reforms on the issue. And Professor Coaldrake did not mince his words in addressing the rort.

A key quote in that report:

“As was noted in a 2018 report of the Queensland Audit Office, ‘the public has a right to know how much public money government is spending, on what, and with which vendors”, Coaldrake says.

Now, while Professor Coaldrake’s reforms are aimed mainly at the public service handling of government deals, in a ‘what’s-good-for-the-goose’ extension, the rule changes will flow on to all levels of government bureaucracies and elected officials.

And in the unlikely circumstance that Coaldrake’s new regs are made retrospective, Jenny Hill will be soiling her small clothes big time. The changes can’t force any revelations about the Adandi Airstrip rort (you may rest assured it WAS a rort) because that is a QCAT ruling putting it under lock and key. But perhaps there will be a small bout of involuntary incontinence when mayor Mullet realises that her secret deals beyond what she had been forced to declare regarding the SuperPests, and that boardwalk to nowhere along Ross Creek in Flinders Street will have to be released. Ditto Anna Palaszczuk about the details Wellcamp heist of public money, where the costs of maintaining ‘medical’ staff for the faux quarantine facility is a dark secret. For some reason.

Trivia Break

The mention of Happy Valley put The ‘Pie in mind of the clever quip from someone that the residents of the indigenous settlement, situated between the cemetery and the RAAF base, are living between the quick and the dead.

When Watching Netflix Can Become Corruption

The new federal Labor Government has promised an independent federal Integrity and Anti-Corruption Commission. It is expected to be based broadly on the Federal Integrity Commission Bill, unsuccessfully introduced by MP Helen Haines in 2020.

Labor is expected to amend it with even tougher measures which will have more than public servants hyperventilating at both ends. Journalists, too,as well as private companies contracted by the Feds. This from a recent article on the matter:

The Haines anti-corruption microscope is trained not only on public servants but on anyone, private or public, who does anything that could “adversely affect, directly or indirectly, the honest or impartial exercise” of government functions. Even more importantly, it also specifically extends oversight to private firms and their employees performing functions “for or on behalf of, or in the place of” the federal government.

For one, the concept of “corruption” is currently being rei- imagined, and applied retrospectively. On the expanded understanding of “corruption”, the focus is no longer just on con- duct that impacts on government “probity” – the focus is now also on activity that undermines government “efficacy”.

Some might think governments don’t need much help in

being ineffectual. And that’s precisely the point: in practice, an extremely broad array of conduct suddenly becomes potentially “corrupt”.

Journalists fishing for information from government will need to watch the persuasive techniques they deploy. And however careful they may be, under the Haines model the commission could compel them to reveal their sources – whether they work at the public broadcasters or elsewhere.

For example, the Queensland Crime and Corruption Commission’s guidance material notes that under its legislation, which is similar to that of Haines, a public official who watches Netflix instead of carrying out his or her official duties is engaging in corrupt conduct that should be reported to the commission.

Of course, compelling journalists to reveal sources may clash with proposed whistle-blower protection laws.

And facing a corruption charge for watching Netflix on the taxpayer’s dollar? Well, it might stop lazy bludgers joining the bloated PS ranks.

Good Grief: Or At Least The Bulletin Thinks So

As reported last week, something is going on down at the Bulletin. The is a noticeable shift in style and layout – more dull but worthy business news in the front of the paper, for instance – and the new attitude to sport as reported last week, continued this week with the miniscule coverage of an event so raucously promoted in the paper, the big floperoo between Aston Villa and Brisbane Roar at Total Tools Stadium. Certainly, the game deserved little coverage, as it made hardly a ripple around here, with just 7468 folks, having their insomnia cured as Aston Villa sleepwalked to a 1-nil victory. But for a game so loudly ballyhooed by the paper in the run-up to this snooze-a-thon, you’d think you’d find a result and a match report. If there was one, The ‘Pie couldn’t find it. Or any questions to the mayor about how much if anything ratepayers contributed towards the event.

The Townsville Bulletin seems to be living on borrowed time, waiting for Harvey Norman to pull the plug, which will then make the paper a website only … if not just a twice weekly insert in the Courier.

But one of the more disturbing trends has been that the Bulletin, rather than rising above the social media babble, it has made every effort to identify with internet standards and interests rather than those of a paper of record.

And this is no more evident than with the editorial policy of ‘recreational grief’, which used to mean the public’s widespread reaction to the death of a public figure … this phenomenon has always been standard fair when sometime in the public eye dies and is a natural style of reporting. But somewhere along the line, the Bulletin has decided that we will all be reaching for the Kleenex when they give the full treatment of embarrassing bathos to everyday road, workplace or illness people who are killed or die.

And so on. Now let’s be clear here, The Magpie is not denigrating or doubting that the grief of those friends and family surviving these unfortunate people is genuine and understandable: this is a view about public journalism using private grief for venal reasons, aftermath reporting that is of absolutely no interest to anyone but those close to the deceased. And using that private grief in an attempt to attract readers and thus raise revenue rates. But it doesn’t work, and it has become a source of constant embarrassment. Journalism by its very nature often has to be intrusive, but there is no reason or sense to think this policy that everyone deserves a front page, is acceptable. And while the bereaved mostly agree to talk about their loss, it is only of interest to those who knew the person. The policy is also a sad reflection of the opinion this newspaper holds for its dwindling number of readers.

But The Bulletin Can Insult In More Ways Than That

News Ltd simply refuses to invest in adequate staff to oversee input into the news pages. A prime example of dangerous territory came with this story on Friday.

The use of ‘alleged’ here is correct, but when we get into the story, Cameron ‘Master’ Bates tells us:

So maybe he wasn’t stabbed to death after all, eh? As we know, ‘allege’ means unproven, so while that’s bad enough, Master Bates does the unforgiveable, and puts the word into the mouth of a lawyer who you can bet did not say it – that’s why it is unforgivable as well as totally incorrect.

So now the son was only maybe killed?  Saying he was ‘allegedly killed’ is nothing more than a sick ignorance.  And you putting those words in a lawyers mouth, Master Bates, is inviting personal involvement in the law that you would not welcome. Possible a call to the iditor will be made … like he’d give a fuck.

Then there is just simple laziness.

Whoever wrote this headline should look up the News Ltd Style Book, Fourth Edition, page 168, “Less and fewer ‘Less than’ when referring to quantity ‘fewer than’ when referring to numbers.”  Year 8 stuff, FFS.

We also had a business report telling us a CEO wasn’t ‘phased’ by a potential business challenge. Which sounds like Dr Spock Starship territory. But The’ Pie is used to that sort of thing, so he wasn’t fazed.

Holy Cow, Batman, Could It Be ….?

The Magpie was pulled up short while browsing through Twitter during the week and saw this.

Well, it could be, it doesn’t mention booze, and our beloved ex-TB iditor and Sky News squeaker, workplace bully of young women is a tee totaller.

And another tell tale that says it’s just a coincidence – like the disaster prone major whose men would follow him anywhere – out of curiosity – our Pete would have more followers than that, for the same reason.

Why Doesn’t Townsville Have A Publication Like This?

This monthly publication is an ideal one-stop shop for all the salient up-to-date data for the Cairns region. This month it contains 12 pages of easy to read graphs, and a three page overall summary of the state of business play in the region. Page samples:

There is some good data floating around Townsville … the quarterly PVW Business Confidence Review came out during the week, detailed and thorough, but it’s not user friendly for those less schooled in such matters – which would include busy businessmen, teachers and academics.  The Cairns Report is detailed but simple and low on jargon, it makes itself accessible to everybody, and is visually attractive – and no advertising. Don’t know how it’s funded, but it’s got a good journo in Gavin King looking after it, so little wonder it’s a handsome little on-line publication.

Perhaps the Townsville Chamber of Commerce could stir themselves to put together something similar …  Neither the Bulletin or TEL would be suitable publishers, both being totally compromised by veiled agendas in the area of hard factual information … which is why the TCC and Kim Il Jen wouldn’t be credible authors, either.

The Magpie would be happy to revert to professional standards and help out if anyone wants to give it a go. Or why not commission Mr King to do a Townsville version, that way it would remain untainted by the local viper’s nest.

Will Joe Biden Be A One Term Wonder?

Or not so wonderful. As if the poor bastards don’t have enough to worry about, Americans are now disheartened with the bumbling 79 year old, who doesn’t appear to up to the crucial task of cleaning up much of the mess left by his predecessor. The Democrats are becoming somewhat disenchanted with him, but they have a problem … VP Kamala Harris is neither popular or seen as being up to the job, so they would have to go through a messy nomination convention with no stand-out successor. Perhaps if the mid-term elections coming up shortly eventuate as the widespread disaster they are predicted to be for the Dems, they might start talking openly about their alternative.

As for Trump, as the January 6 committee draws to a close and the Justice Department will start to consider the evidence it has gathered, many are wondering if the Mobster President will ever brought to justice, despite overwhelming evidence of treasonous and criminal actions. In this fractured country, nothing is certain anymore, Kool Aid is the drink of the day.

Finally … Funny Pics, Funny Vid

The Magpie has always been a big fan of humour in advertising, and it produces some of the wackiest best line you’ll ever see. Here’s a little gallery from around the web … not sure that the first one is appropriate in the current climate, but it’s still clever …

…as always, The ‘Pie likes to leave you with a chuckle … and if you don’t chuckle at this bloke, get help, you’ve had a humour by-pass. Don McMillan is new to The ‘Pie … he’s mildly reminiscent of Roy of Roy and HG fame, and is instantly as engaging.

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All done for another week, but you can have your say in comments, they’re free and run 24/7. And if you want to kick the can to help the blog with a donation, the big button is below. We could do with the help.