The ‘Pie is back in the nest, having ‘homeward his footsteps he has turned, after wandering on some foreign strand’, as good old Sir Wally Scott so patriotically penned.
Bently is of yo-ho-hoing as skipper of a tub in the Maggie Island Race Week, so we are bereft of his insight this week, but he’ll return soon.
Again a somewhat briefer version of the nest, but plenty caught the eye.
Have The Yanks Found A Way To Recycle Politicians Who Refuse To Change Gun Laws?
Watch that punctuation!?!
The ‘Pie has learnt through monitoring the comments that float into the nest that judging the tone of the written word is of paramount importance, to make your message clear. Translating verbal signals into print is a tricky business , but there are those who are successful examples – Annabel Crabbe, Mike Carlton and locally Sharri Tagliabue inter alia have mastered the knack.
Another thing The ‘Pie has learnt is that you makes merry with the sheilas at your own peril – err, like making a jocular reference to ‘sheilas’ – because you’ll be taking on an aggrieved big Brunhilde somewhere, armed with verbal tin snips ready to disemvowel you.
So just what are you wittering on about , you sigh?
Just this, a media release from the TCC media machine which thudded into the inbox recently.
Council shines the light on women’s issues
Townsville women are being encouraged to speak up about issues affecting them, as part of global initiative by Women, Seriously!
Women, Seriously! was launched in 2014 in the UK to highlight women’s experiences as community leaders, mothers, wives and daughters.
The concept: “If the world is serious about peace, then women must be taken seriously.”
Now the following dissertation is purely about the techniques using the written word to convey a verbal tone and meaning, so pop those tin snips back in the overall pocket for the moment , Brunhilde dear.
The use of caps and the comma (‘Women,) and then the exclamation mark (Seriously!’) tends to leave a lot of latitude in interpretation of tone. It could be ‘you’re kidding’, or ‘yeah, right’, maybe a hoped-for ‘yeah, right on!’ or even a foot-stamping, finger-wagging ‘Listen here, you hairy knobs’. Then there is Mongrel the Barrister’s suggestion of a possible typo; he reckons the exclamation mark has accidentally replaced an intended question mark, (Women, Seriously?) which would make the tone crystal clear.
The media release continues:
Council is encouraging women of all ages and backgrounds to host a Peace Table, either at their work, community group or in their own homes, to come together and discuss the key social issues including gender-based violence, inter-religious relations and women’s empowerment. It is also possible to host a “virtual” table.
Why?
Crumbs!! Getting the gals to sit down over a cuppa for a natter, that’s gunna be real difficult to organize. Of course, with the subject matter listed, all will be harmony and light, sweet little Kimmy ‘Vulgaria’ Vuga will be there, chatting merrily with a burka-clad fellow peace lover about male domination. Perhaps that other racially conflicted figure Gracelyn Smallwood will be there, to instruct the others on the naughtiness of whitey’s war on indigenous people of both genders. Or is that ‘all’ genders nowadays?
But wait, there was more …
“The feedback from these tables will be used by Women, Seriously! to develop the Global Women’s Peace Agenda to end war and build peace,” Inclusive Communities Advisory Committee chair Cr Colleen Doyle said.
“Inclusive? Didn’t see any invite for the blokes in there. Indeed, this whole mimsy, posturing concept comes from the idiotic notion that only women have the wisdom and gift for ‘peace’ and fairness, setting the world to rights, so horribly mucked by the blokes and their knob-rattling.
Ah, hang on just a sec.
Boaedica, Catherine The Great, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Ms Brewster(The ‘Pie’s high school maths teacher), any of these names and the words ‘pacifist instincts’ never appear in the same sentence. Hereabouts on the local political scene, anyone who knows Jenny Hill or Cathy O’Toole knows to watch their backs.
And despite this town being awash the top performing females … Jayne Arlett, Carolyn McManus, Debbie (Guides) Rains, Michelle Hyde et al – the best the council could do was have a weak-kneed and predictable quote from poppet Patricia O’Callaghan, promoted to CEO of the Dudley Do Nothings (aka Townsville Enterprise) by a patriachally-dominated board of businessmen who needed someone who would do their self-interested bidding.
All that aisde, what the hell has that got to do with the Townsville City Council? Can we expect a the council to urge a hosting of Round PubTalks by the blokes tackling the really BIG questions (like The Pie’s fav, the number of freckles on Leigh Sales chest)? Whatever the cost TCC is putting towards this gabfest, it would’ve been better spent buying Messagebank Walker a new iPhone or Mayor Mullet an accurate watch to ensure she is on time for appointments.
And Speaking Of Cost
Kevin Gill TEL Chairman and Queensland Airports spruiker – Pic Astonisher
The pompous and deluded pronouncement of the month goes to the chairman of the Dudley Do Nothings, Kevin Gill (rhymes with…?)
Talking up the Adani project and talking down the legal challenges currently delaying it, Gill chose to speak on behalf of Townsville (didn’t see that elected mandate … did you?) telling the stenographer from the Bulletin, ‘This city cannot and will not accept losing such an important project.’
‘Will not accept?!? This city? Apart from the childish absurdity of this, Mr Gill, a questipon: since when do you speak on behalf of this city? By all means make a goof of yourself, but please don’t try and make yourself ‘our’ goof. Christ, some might believe you actually hold some sway around here.
Our gill-ded hero goes on:’ If the state and federal governments are serious about job creation then they need to take part in discussions and resolve this issue quickly.
No mate, what needs resolving is a purported leader like yourself (well, according to The Astonisher but no one else) advising ‘your’ community of the truth of this matter.
But that would be a bit hard for you, wouldn’t it, mate, given you run the local branch of your southern masters gouging monopoly Queensland Airports – who would benefit greatly should your extended fairytale of the FIFO workers basing themselves in Townsville in massive numbers magically happen. You seem more than happy to parrot self-interest with nary a hint of the disappointment, dislocation and general malaise a failed project inevitably fosters in a community already suffering 9% unemployment.
So since you won’t tell the real story, Mr Gill, allow The ‘Pie to help you out.
*The Adani project will NOT create 10,000 jobs, or anything near that – by the company’s own estimates in a land court case earlier this year, the project would create just 1464 jobs. There may be also about 2000 more temporary jobs building a rail line to Abbott Point … those jobs would last a couple of years.
* The project is unlikely to proceed not because of a pissant court challenge involving a lizard and a snake (no, no, not a reference to the Mackay Greens) but because of finance. Financial investors are heading for the hills, considering Adani says it needs coal to be $85-$90 per tonne to be viable. Current price is around half that, and with China tanking, no miracle turnaround is in the offing. Adani itself started downsizing the project two years ago, from $21.5 billion to $16.5 billion, and is sacking existing staff in a ‘downsizing’ which is totally unrelated to any court challenge and, ostensibly, slight delay.
* PM Wingnut’s claim that Adani is the solution to India’s energy problem – and would ‘power the lives of 100 million Indians for 50 years is a deliberate, politically motivated lie. India’s energy minister has said that the country intends to stop in importing thermal coal WITHIN THE NEXT THREE YEARS’.
For Christ’s sake, you pillock, Gill, even the Queensland Treasury says the Adani project is a fizzer.
Much like yourself, one must conclude.
Once They’re Elected … Labor’s Scott Stewart Does a Dumbo Jones On Us …
Fashion and practicality have always been uncomfortable bedfellows, which can be confusing for some, like this bloke who doesn’t seem to understand the basic design function of his headwear …
But it appears Scotty Stewart isn’t sure jusy whose hat he’s wearing.
As if it’s not bad enough to to have a Federal member who is Canberra’s representative in Townsville (and who likes to ask Jesus rather than the electorate about the right path on issues), it seems Townsville MP Stewart is equally disdainful of those who planted his bum on the George Street plush. Either that, or he needs a media advisor pronto.
Commenting on a wish list of measures favoring a ‘neglected’ North Queensland, put up by balance-of-power Katter Party MP’s in return for their support to keep Labor in government, Stewart clearly bridled at the reality that outside influences might be influencing the party ( oops, did someone say ‘unions’? Oh, stoppit, ‘Pie, you do crack yourself up sometimes!)
But it was his turn to crack us up when he told The Astonisher: ‘ … regional Queensland had been neglected by the Newman Government but the current government had sought to rectify that by appointing a Minister for North Queensland — Coralee O’Rourke. (No, stop laughing, this is serious.)
“I think the Katter boys always do work in best interests of their electorates and will continue to do that,” Mr Stewart said.
“As a government we will continue to work with crossbenchers to achieve the best result for Queensland.”
Which clearly means if the majority of union-influenced MPs decide on something that goes against Stewart’s electorate, well, our man will show his party solidarity saying good for Queensland but tough titty Townsville.
Oh well, at least he ain’t askin’ Jesus.
Bits and Pieces
The Astonisher’s Saturday headline was a goody – a council revision of electoral bounbdaries may pose a problem for Clr Sue Blom, and attracted the clever headline BLOM SCARE. Neat.
But the headline of the month was inspired by the Subway Fast Food executive who copped jail time for underage sex.
In fact, sex and marriage in all it’s permutations contionues to get everyone hot and bothered … and sometimes alone. But there’s nothing like advertising to fill that gap.
Indeed, one applicant could hardly wait to apply.
mmmWhich goes to show that it it is prudent to get the full story before reaching the point of no return.
They’re probably both now in the House of Lords.
Finally, pet corner.
