Well, want ‘em or not, you’re gonna be getting a massive side serve of them over the next few weeks.
It’s not even a week old, but it’s already an election campaign of codswallop and old cobblers. A real porky fest; The Magpie looks at a couple of humdingers.
Also, Mayor Mullet sinks deeper in the mire of her own making, entering the spirit of the times with her own eye-watering fairytale justification.
And has our old mate The Rabster aka Rabeah Krayem run into further business strife? And has the Fair Work Ombudsman been asked to look at the situation regarding this ‘leading Townsville businessman’?
And more on the perils of headline writers: the importance of punctuation.
But first …
Now She’s Just Trying To Bluff It Out
Mayor Mullet is rotating in those famous ever decreasing circles until she disap … well, that image doesn’t bear contemplating.
On Tuesday, well aware of the massive blunder she has made, everybody’s mayor declined to do the professional and decent thing and receive a petition of 51,000 signatures from people protesting her unilateral decision to gift Adani $18.5million of ratepayer money to fund half an airstrip at the proposed Carmichael mine , 400kms away. She airily dismissed those people … at least 8000 of whom pay her wage through their rates … as mere ‘keyboard warriors’, whatever the fuck that actually means. But Bentley has a good idea of the situation, inspired by th maypr’s trite and dopey explanation ‘it’s dog eat dog out there’. Rover the Ratepayer ain’t a happy pooch.
But put on the spot of the ABC’s 7.30 program, this was her astounding explanation that we weren’t to worry … a bank guarantee!!! Here’s a transcript of the report.
Adani coal mine: Townsville City Council under fire for pumping $19m into airstrip
Townsville City Council is seeking a bank guarantee from Adani to refund any losses, should the Carmichael coal and rail project not proceed.
Mayor Jenny Hill told 7.30 she would like construction on the airstrip to start this year, despite Adani not yet securing bank finance for the $16 billion project.
Not in the ABC transcript report
“What we will be doing with Adani is we’ll be asking them to provide a bank guarantee,” she said.
“So if the project falls over, if their project doesn’t get financed, we’ll get our money back.”
Despite signing documents at the media conference, Ms Hill said her council was still in commercial negotiations with Adani.
She cited this as the reason why council had not publicly released its independent (KPMG) cost-benefit analysis of the deal. “Once we’ve signed all the deals, once we’re able to make announcements, we’ll provide information accordingly,” she said.
Would that be the same method you used from the same KPMG who did a report on the CBD stadium which you released AFTER it was a done deal, and a sit turned out, a report that concluded that such a project was a massive money sink hole that would not deliver the CBD commercial turn-around promised by you the mayor, the Astonisher and Laurence Lancini.
Listen, dearie, think about what a bank guarantee is. In essence it requires the bank to be satisfied that the guarantee they are providing can be secured by something from the person/project they are vouchsafing. If Adani’s Security is good enough for a bank to act as a guarantee against, then why isn’t a bank willing to finance the airstrip?
The ‘Pie wants the name of that bank if it actually materializes … the old bird wants it finance some mining leases over 80% of Magnetic Island.
And will the Chinese step in with some readies to back the scheme? maybe, that will bring a whole new can of worms to this already messy mad Hatter’s picnic.
Adani has been on the record as seeking funding from equipment vendors from both China and Korea. This isn’t news in and of itself. From an industry practice point of view, vendor finance isn’t uncommon either. Reports have recently resurfaced in the Indian press , which may have given this a kick a long, with the Chinese apparently indicating that they would contemplate debt funding provided that they were guaranteed the construction contracts and other works. What seems interesting out of this is what implications this arrangement may have on any employment arrangements that Adani may be negotiating or entering into with local authorities, or any of the local employment claims that have been used by local politicians – mesmerised by this financially dubious deal – to justify the provision of Australian public subsidies to the Billionaire. It is this latter implication that is the real story. A sub-plot here is that Adani is clearly struggling to get standalone funding support.
And believe it or not, folks, that is suddenly Anna Alphabet’s stand on the matter, with her Friday backflip promise to ensure Adani gets no public money for its rail line. Funny though, although this bombshell covered the best part of three pages in the Bulletin, there was not a single quote from mayor Mullet on how this might affect the ratepayers multi-million dollar gift to the Indian grafter.Guess what? They ALL know they’re in the shit with this untenable situation.
The Campaign So Far
“Language matters,” writes Rebecca Solnit, in her recent essay The Case of the Missing Perpetrator. “It is the truest, highest purpose of language to make things clear and help us see; when words are used to do the opposite you know you’re in trouble and that maybe there’s a cover-up.”
Somebody care to tell that to the bedraggled crowd shuffling around Queensland wheedling for votes. A timely quote, but is more the law of unintended consequences, of matters not quite thought through, that is bedeviling all sides of state politics.
It ranges across the board, from that grinning moon-faced mound of shining insincerity Tim Nicholls, to the nervous eye-darting of Anna Palaszczuk, seemingly worried who’s standing behind her and if her shoulder-blades about to be the recipient of some factional cutlery. On the sidelines, the Greens are enthusiastically sinking deeper into irrelevancy just when they had a chance to make a difference (more public holidays, less power for landlords), and One Notion’s continues its devotion to offering simple solutions for simple people to a background of banjo pickin’ and moonshine.
The Magpie is used to be lied to by politicians … well, after all, he is an Aussie – but easily the biggest lie of all so far goes to Premier Alphabet. She said on TV last night when challenged about her support for the Adani mine that if they didn’t adhere to the strict environmental rules and other conditions, she would ‘’CLOSE IT DOWN, THAT WOULD BE IT.’
Really?
Purleeese, pull the other one, it not only yodels but if you really meant that, it will sing the whole liberetto from La Boheme for you.
Try This Scenario.
Labor fall back into office with a minority government with the help of the Greens, the Adani mine gets underway, employing a couple of thousand people, and then all of sudden, it is discovered – oh, the horror – that the rare habitat of the Red Rectum Knobthrottler pink parrot has been illegally and deliberately destroyed by the installation of Got’em Adani’s private helipad.
Outrage is widespread across several Brisbane southern suburbs and at Wendy Tubman’s regular vegan BBQ at Pallarenda. The Greens lean on Anna.
The Premier is swift to act, firmly telling the CFMEU she now has now choice – because it was an election promise – and the whole Adani operation is to be shut down. That’s it. The CFMEU says it regrettable but they understand and support the premier’s action. 2000 people are now out of work, and property values plummet from Rocky to Townsville, Mayor Mullet announces she starting a “Jenny For Canberra and PM’ movement, and Little Patty O’Callaghan suggests it was TEL’s idea, nice to know the Premier was listening, She takes Adani to court for this heinous disregard for threatened Aussie wildlife, and spends tens of million only to find that Mr Adani is now Clive Mensink’s neighbor on a tropical island where there is no extradition treaty with Australia,.
‘Oi know this will throw many out of work, and wreak havoc with several regional economies, but we must protect our native species.’ She tells Parliament to universal cheering.
Would you like the overture from La Boheme now, madam?
Tim ‘Baldrick’ Nicholl’s Cunning Plan
Two of the daftest ideas belong to the wannabe premier. In what could best be described as the ‘herding cats promise’, Not-So-Tiny Tim says he will trial a 10pm curfew for under 16s in Townsville. Sounds great, Mr Baldrick, tell us how it works.
“Young kids found roaming Townsville streets will be collected by police and looked after at a local emergency accommodation shelter until they can be safely returned to their parents.
“The shelter will be staffed with a counsellor and nurse to ensure the wellbeing of the child, while ensuring the community is protected.”
Ah, right, gotcha. A counsellor and a nurse, eh?. But a question, Not-So-Tiny, how are you going to ensure the well being of the counsellor and nurse when they decline to let any of the little snots leave, as they most certainly will? Oh, right, you’ll give the police curfew powers to pick them up again. And bring them back. Oh, goodo, hadn’t thought of that.
And ‘safely returned to their parents’? Wonder why half these kids are out there in the first place, couldn’t be anything to do with the parents and home life in the first place, could it? In a situation that the kid may have good reason to not wish to return to. But of course, the coppers can then take somewhere else, where they’ll hopefully stay until the matter comes to court as the social engineering grinds on and on.
But wait, there’s more.
And welfare payments will be stopped if the kid goes into detention, and won’t resume until he or she is back out again. This part is really unclear. Does that mean that monies the parents get for child support will be stopped for as long as the little dear is being cared by the taxpayer? Question: you mean this isn’t the case already? Are we all fucking mad?
Or do you mean those parents on welfare will get nothing while the kid’s inside smashing up the joint. If the parents are on welfare, and then aren’t, that means they don’t have any income, and hey, gotta eat, bro’, and have a drink or two. No money? Guess I’ll just have to go out and take some from someone.
Thank you, Mr Baldrick, we shouldn’t be ungrateful, why, you’ve even promised a helicopter we can share with Cairns. Trust all crims and car thieves are good sports, and stick to the helicopter roster, behaving themselves until it’s back in town.
As the saying has it, Jesus wept … indeed, even more than that.
A Rumor, If True, That Even The Astonisher Might Get Off Its Arse For
Information from readers is, like Mr Gershwin’s woman in Porgy and Bess, a sometimes thing. So the following may be true, or may be not true, but astounding … and actionable … if it is. And The Magpie publishes on the basis of the persistent and varied reports of the arrogant behaviour bordering on mental instability of Adele Young since she arrived.
TCC CEO Adele Young
Waz CEOC number 1
November 3, 2017 at 6:52 pm (Edit)
Around lunch time today I got a Facebook message from a friend in water telling me that the CEO has taken leave again until the 27th of November. Reason why? She is apparently running the election campaign for the premier. Now I know that this might be old news or people suspect it a while ago knowing her background. But I thought a CEO was to be apolitical. This brings up a lot of questions in regards to decisions made by her in financial matters as well as allocated works projects or contracts to those who could potentially be Labour voters and donors. Her job is in Townsville city council. The CEO’s schedule BEFORE the election was called was full up until last Friday from the previous Thursday. Then on Friday everything is cancelled or reschedule until … wait for it, the 27th of November, the Monday after election.
Her leave was only granted on the Friday when there was growing strength in the likelihood that Anna will call it on Sunday. This is told to me by others yes and I know how Chinese whispers works but this is to coincidence to ignore.
Bears watching. But surely, not even The Impaler …..???
Just A Small Thought
One of the great ironies about the council chaos is that it has been created by a Labor Party cabal led by someone whose management style and even mental stability is questioned daily. But there can’t be any coherent response or protective action for staff. Because the very mechanism that inspired the formation of Labor more than 100 years ago … an effective and responsible union presence, has been effectively sidelined by Labor party political predators.
Has Rabeh Krayem realised That Barry Taylor Has Played Him For A Sucker?
The silence has been deafening.
Ever since we replied to an oafish and amateurish bit of attempted bullying from Rabiah’s Enema Legal solicitor some weeks ago, we haven’t heard a dickybird from them. Bazza The Legal Foghorn is carefully guiding his somewhat hapless protégé, Venesa ‘Mrs Typo’ Gleeson, as she bumbles the matter along, but The ‘Pie gets the sneaking suspicion that the veil has fallen from Rabiah’s eyes.
You will remember The Rabster is suing The Magpie for alleged insults to his exalted business standing in Townsville (stop laughing, this is serious!), and only $300,000 smackeroonies will salve his wounded pride. It’s a sure bet he was talked into this foolishness by The Foghorn, who has some mental blindspot regarding this blameless old bird, including twice – once very drunkenly – threatening to sue but failed to specify what regarding. Having nothing on which to beat The Pie’ feathered nonce, he shopped around seeking someone he could fool into thinking it was a good idea to sue someone who is virtually penniless. After one or two knock-backs, Rabiah fell for it
Seems The Rabster might have had this all brought into sharp focus when his latest gig as office manager of U2E (means You To Employment) hit a pretty severe business speed bump. Rabeah stood down up to 15 permanent part time folk in Charters Towers Road call centre in April, telling them they would be able to return on July 1. A week or so before they were due to return, they were informed by text that their contracts wouldn’t be renewed, and were eventually paid out.
The ‘Pie is old that at least 6 former workers have complained to the Fair Work Ombudsman, and have been directed to mediation.
According to one worker, RK spent almost every minute on the phone talking about the Northern Fury, his soccer entity ditched by the national body. The worker said he seemed to do little to assist the employment business, as activity dropped off markedly. There were some bizarre practices alleged in the operation of the call center, so come on, Rabiah, man up, old fella, and add this to your claim of legal whinges, The ‘Pie for one would like to know more about what went on out there.
Be assured of a packed court room when it gets there, seems there’s many people around town interested in your … ummm … welfare.
When Headlines Get Out Of Hand
Well, it wasn’t the Astonisher …
But sometimes, there are professions where poor hearing is a major problem.
And Finally …
Let’s take a break from all the inefficiencies and cock-ups of world and spend a few minutes being mesmerized by this video, where no such imperfections exist. Watch how a Tesla car is made from go to whoa … then remember this boast about automation closer to home.
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That’s it for this week, but the weekly comments are going off like crazy, go a bit loopy and join in. And if you enjoy this weekly dose of what the Bulletin won’t tell you, a donation to keep the blog chugging along is always appreciated, thanks, the how to donate button is below.
