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The Magpie

Saturday, April 21st, 2018   |   98 comments

They Haven’t A Leg To Stand On – The Australian Makes The Cock Up Of The Year

Even The Astonisher wouldn’t make this most unfortunate error. Well, maybe not …

Also this week, is the appointment of retired Major General Stuart Smith to report on Townsville crime one of Anna Palaszczuk’s most desperate and cynical moves to date? You decide.

And why a reporter should be reinstated after she was fired for using the C-word in a story … surely truth a defence? … a new twist in shooting the messenger.

And NZ PM Jacinda Ardern ruffles feathers at Buck Palace by wearing feathers to meet the Queen … and after seeing the images, The Magpie agrees there are some things that are clearly inappropriate.

But first …

The sour taste of the Commonwealth Games lingers on, long after the athletes have departed either for home or for the hills.

We now learn that the five executives in charge of what has been a dismal organisational effort which has brought international disdain on the event are to receive hundreds of thousands of dollars in bonuses. One can only wonder what they would have been awarded had they actually done their jobs somewhat more effectively.

But the stand-out clown prince of the whole shebang can only be the Cheshire Cat face of the games, Peter Dentures Beattie. Infesting our TV screens at every turn 24/7, this oily, ageing carnival barker was finally forced to admit that the closing ceremony could have honoured the athletes much better, it had all been a mistake. But his apology, delivered with all his hallmark shining insincerity, was totally nullified a day or two later when he told Sky News that critics of the closing ceremony were ‘whingers’. That earned him a very special medal from an incensed Bentley.

games small 2

But Whingeing Seems To Be All The Fashion Right Now.

We’ve enjoyed a wall-to-wall whingeing wail from both the Astonisher and Mayor Mullet about those who disagree with her Adani Airways strategy: she then directed her legal lickspittle to threaten a ratepayer with court action for making a complaint about the issue. Then we had the airport’s Kevin Gill whingeing about Qantas not giving his company millions to enhance its assets,  which led the Mayor to call for a whingeing (and completely ignored) boycott of Qantas for not RAISING ticket prices … next, the airport boss moaned to a local publication about people were criticising him for his wholly juvenile his childish furniture rearrangements to make entry to the Qantas Lounge a spiteful obstacle course. Then Adele The Impaler Young had a little blub about how nasty people were to her on Facebook … really, dear? Cannot imagine why, pet.

And then moving into the big league this week, we had, as aforementioned, the smugly grinning wiseacre Peter Beattie describing those who thought the Games closing ceremony was less than perfect as whingers.

About then, one figured that couldn’t be topped for dissembling arrogance … but then on Thursday, in skips this bombastic oaf,

Mick di brenni

… the Queensland Sports Minister Mick de Brenni, who told football clubs that whinged about the ruinous rents that they have to pay Stadiums Queensland that it was their fault. De Brenni, with that selective reality so much loved by those at the George Street trough, said the clubs could solve the problem by ‘playing better football and thus attracting bigger crowds’.

What affect this interesting government policy will have on our new stadium and ticket prices for same is worth deep contemplation.

Hopping Mad

It has long been said that those who do not know left from right do not know right from wrong. Based on the cretinous religious belief that left handed people were all suspect of being wrongdoers, thus the Latin for left ‘sinister’ evolved somewhat unfairly into its modern meaning. Even just a few decades ago, nuns and priests were forcing left handed students to write and generally favour their right hands.

Alas, then,  And a note to the subject of this photograph and caption … we are laughing at the paper, not you.it appears that the Australian newspaper has a sociopath sinistral working as a caption writer. Certainly one who doesn’t know left from right.

Screen shot 2018-04-21 at 11.20.53 PM

One trusts that the surgeons removed the correct leg.

This sloppiness also shows how News Ltd betrays its own staff. The general public usually assume quite reasonably that the reporter’s by-line applies to the whole story, incorrectly attributing the headline and the photo caption to them. It is a shame that a fine reporter like Jamie Walker is held up to this error … Jamie was one of the better journos to ever work at the Bulletin; he was there when it was a half-way decent paper, long before local shareholders were sold out by a very ‘sinistral’ executive, who played Judas to Rupert Murdoch’s chief priest for his 30 pieces of silver. That betrayal has resulted in the Townsville Bulletin readers being the ones crucified.

Con Job

The retired Major General Stuart Smith AO has served his country with distinction, intelligence and hard work, with his career including overseas commands in Timor Leste and Afghanistan. He is perhaps best known in North Queensland as the coordinator of the invaluable defence force response to Cyclone Yasi in 2011.

That is why it truly distressing to see such a distinguished person being so cynically used as a political pawn and bandaid measure to hoodwink an alarmed electorate.

In January this year, he was appointed on a year-long contract as an ’independent’ consultant by the Palaszczuk government to advise on ways to confront the city’s growing crime wave. He is to report directly to the Premier.

Screen shot 2018-04-21 at 11.26.06 PM

Of all the insulting tripe that this Premier has served up to the Townsville community, this is up there with the most egregious. Especially the time span of a year, a virtual head patting ‘now be patient’, as though no real sorely needed action can be taken for at least 12 months. Maj-Gen Smith inadvertently gave the game away himself when appointed, the local media:

“I need to speak to those that are victims of crime, to mums and dads, to aunties and uncles, to patrol officers, teachers, case workers, to disenfranchised youths,” he said. Maj-Gen Smith said he wanted to have “all segments” of the community involved in a solution for the city.

Those words describe precisely – and precisely is the precise word in this instance – why we elect local state MPs – it is a virtual job description for their most vital role in earning our trust, not to mention our money.

Now, let The ‘Pie be clear, Maj-Gen Smith no doubt took up this position because he possesses what our three Labor members and the Premier lack – a genuine concern for the dreadful situation in our city, a city he knows well. And having retired at the pinnacle of a long and stellar career, it is reasonable to assume Maj-Gen Smith doesn’t share the politicians’ prime motivation, that of personal reward and perks at the public tit. But there can be no mistake that he is no more than a paid Labor appointment to a nonsense position, tasked with doing the job of the three elected Labor state members covering the city. That he may, in the end, do it well, is irrelevant.

Why on earth could our three blind mice have not told the premier what is really needed to stem the flow of lawlessness that is affecting the city’s future through it’s growing reputation as Crimsville? Or did they – and this is the response we have got from a busted-arse premier running a busted arse government?

Good luck, Maj-Gen, but no matter what you come up with, do not expect any real action any time soon, you and your ideas will be quickly subsumed into the party political mindset that is paralysing this state . This country for that matter.

Kiwi Capers … and Capes

That travelling trough on wheels, the Commonwealth Heads Of State meeting in London, has again proved to be a mainly pointless hootenanny for the wide variety of blood-sucking burdens o the public purse from around the globe, and from the local palaces royal.

But with real news thin on the ground, the media has pounced on NZ PM Jacinda Ardern’s decision to make a cultural statement on behalf of her Maori people by wearing a traditional Maori leader’s cloak to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace. The cloak is called a Kahu huruhuru, and every one was thankful that the Berk of Edinburgh wasn’t around for one of his sensitive little ethnic jokes. But some questioned whether it was dignified to wear such an item to such an occasion. And after viewing an image of the palace visit, The ‘Pie is inclined to question whether fancy dress is fitting, even if it be elevated by the term ‘cultural tradition’. Look at this …

Screen shot 2018-04-21 at 12.17.59 PM

It is clear that such frippery of outmoded cultural dress and carefully stitched finery is undignified for such an exalted occasion. The ‘Pie thinks it is somewhat demeaning – and he is referring of course to those wankers on the left in pantomime drag from a G&S operetta or Alice In Wonderland – they should be ashamed to be seen in public before visiting dignitaries.

But Jacinda looked elegant and commanding, just love the cloak.

Sticks And Stones May Break Your Bones ..,.

… but words can get you fired.

(Trigger Warning: if you are the type to have a fit of the vapours at rude words in print, skip this item and a little lie down.)

During the week, there was a learned discussion about a reporter who was fired by the Daily Mail for using the word ‘cunt’ in a story about ‘reality’ television performers.

Screen shot 2018-04-17 at 12.53.30 PM

Now there are calls for her to be reinstated, on the very reasonable grounds that the Daily Mail did not offer the proper supervision to a junior reporter by not employing enough sub-editors to catch the offending material. (Sound familiar, anyone?)

As The Magpie said at the time, it was ironic that the one time any reporter at the Daily Mail told the truth, they were fired. And indeed, the old bird failed to see the problem, the full quote of the offending passage accurately reflects the reality of such programs, even if in a colourfully colloquial way. It is thus:

Florence initially rose to fame on Matty J’s season of The Bachelor, before unsuccessfully trying her luck at love again in Paradise. But most people who were educated at a high-school level know these vapid cunts only go on the shows to find mediocre Instagram fame and make a living promoting teeth whiteners and unnecessary cosmetic procedures.”

The ‘Pie asks you -where’s the problem?

Meanwhile, In Trump’s America

Lightys, Camera, Fiction

‘Lights … Camera … Fiction.’

…………..

That’s your lot for this week, pretty quiet on the local front, but have your own rant on comments 24/7… and any donation to help the blog cover costs is always appreciated. The how-to-donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

98 Comments

  1. Wombat. says:

    Excellent media cartoon on Beatie.

  2. Dearie Me says:

    But Pie the Comm Games have been such a success that we still haven’t taken down the signage from around the city for the running of the baton. It still litters light poles and street corners like garage sale signs.
    And if that’s not bad enough the self imposed gridlock that the Council is running on our road network has only moved from one area of the city to the other. When will the fucking roadworks end!!?! And they keep digging up the same bloody roads!!!! Must’ve made Townsville look fantastic to the thousands of predicted visitors for the basketball.

    • Alex DeLarge says:

      I agree. There does not seem to be the slightest bit of planning or coordination involved. Add that to the natural inclination of Townsville drivers (I’m talking to you; you obnoxious bitch in the black Prado) to be absolute dickwads and you have a fucking mess.

      • Dearie Me says:

        As a Council employee those words have been deleted from my vocabulary. Along with words such as project management. And purchasing policy, accountability, transparency and communication.

        Replaced by phrases such as “just fucking do it” and “they don’t need to know” “I’ll tell them when I have approval to” and “the CEO said…”

  3. The Magpie says:

    Thanks, NMD – fixed.

  4. Sir Ossis O'Fliver says:

    Much political angst reverberating in political and banking circles re the ROYAL commission.
    I am interested to know are the activities of the merchant banking fraternity going to be placed under scrutiny as well as the commercial sector and if so how far back will they go?
    I mention this because a self admitted major beneficiary of the merchant banking system in recent years and the greatest denier of the need for the commission is none other than our esteemed?,PM, one Mal Turnbull.
    What are the odds?

  5. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Total silence from the Mullet, Astonisher, Sock Puppet and obviously the three local no hopers into this latest data from Pete Faulkner at Conus up in Mission Beach
    In the last there years Anna Alphabet has employed an extra 1081 state government public servants in Cairns but only 658 in Townsville. If it was the LNP in govt you can bet the mullet would be screaming from the rooftop about it, and what about the Astonisher, not a word, nothing from the Dudleys either, who is asking the questions in this town.

    http://www.conus.com.au/2018/04/where-have-qlds-new-public-sectors-jobs-been-seen/

  6. The old peterbuilt says:

    Amazing positive reports coming out of the TGH in the local media. Apparently it’s all been bought about by the amazing management skills of his Royal tony moonshine out my rear end but is it. ? we were out in the tinny today with a couple of old mates of mine who are volunteers at TGH . They have been told that they are no longer eligable for the flue shot due to cost cutting . I bet the the TGH just like the JCU hasn’t let the cost cutting get to the executives.

    • Grumpy says:

      I, too, have noticed that. Is the soufflé attempting to rise thrice? God help us all from this glib, oily egotistical parasite.

      • crabclaw says:

        Sadly I have been pondering this phenomena as well as there seems a pretty obvious increase in exposure within the organisation, emails etc of the chairmans grin. It seems all achievements are now credited to him. However interestingly, when the new health minister was up not long after his appointment, Tones was well and truly trailing the pack during the traipse around.

        And while on the subject, do we all appreciate the beautiful blue wave logo that’s been adopted on all TTH paperwork/signage recently. Most evident on the increasing number of executive photos in the foyer, all replaced recently with this magnificent embellishment. Not a cheap makeover either I believe..

        • Sandgroper says:

          Has Tony employed somebody who actually knows something about public relations and dealing with the media?
          Following recent council culls, there are a couple around who fit that description.

  7. Achilles says:

    Re your comment about the 2 wankers (Beefeaters) to the left of the befeathered Kiwi PM, the Popes mob of Swiss harlequin pantolini “guards” take a look at the little Swiss Army knives they carry, “OK back off he’s got a pair of pliers”

    https://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://c8.alamy.com/comp/F24D97/members-of-the-pontifical-swiss-guard-in-vatican-city-guarding-st-F24D97.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-members-of-the-pontifical-swiss-guard-in-vatican-city-guarding-st-87379411.html&h=956&w=1300&tbnid=8uUDQif1J1nwCM:&tbnh=147&tbnw=200&usg=__WgjCWU6yNNtCp4PiPMy3ZJcAGLs%3D&vet=10ahUKEwjkguLbx83aAhWJiLwKHVAGBk0Q_B0IuQEwEw..i&docid=gxqwjrMgPsm_fM&itg=1&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjkguLbx83aAhWJiLwKHVAGBk0Q_B0IuQEwEw

    • Ronny Righteous says:

      Looks like he also has a fairly substantial sword — and you could easily pack a pistol in those pantaloons. Anyway, one look at those clowns and an assassin would probably die laughing.

  8. Hercule Poirot says:

    With the possibility of Union Issues At James Cook University (re reducing staff) , i would presume that the Vice Chancellor will find another reason to travel on a junket overseas. In the past she always seems to be missing when issues arise at the University….

  9. One legged tap dancer says:

    Noticed that Jess Steele’s navel gazing column was missing from the Astonisher on Saturday.
    Have they finally ditched her waste of space column or is she just on holidays?
    In any case how are we readers going to survive not knowing who she is squeezing at the moment or what her dad did on his birthday?

  10. The Magpie says:

    A most interesting post on the WFT page … is this a ploy to justify delays with another technical gabfest because the council is in a funding bind of its own making?

    In June 2017, following expert engineering input and public submissions around infrastructure, including WFTAG’s research, the Water Security Taskforce recommended mild steel for an 1800mm diameter pipe. The state grant of $225 million for stage 1 covers the cost of the steel product.

    Linda Ashton writes:
    “In the Townsville Bulletin on April 12th it was reported, “Last week the Council voted to negotiate with two unnamed short-listed companies to supply pipe for the pipeline. It is understood the Council is considering the supply of either steel pipe or glass-fibre reinforced plastic pipe for the 36km pipeline from the Haughton pump station to near the Ross Dam.”

    This is the first time any reference has been made publicly to suggest that a plastic pipe product might be selected.”

    • TweedleDee says:

      I saw that post, and Linda goes on to call for opinions from her 14,000 odd followers on whether the pipe should be steel or plastic.

      I wonder why we pay for skilled and qualified engineers (damned expensive they are) to perform analyses and make these decisions, when we have the combined expertise of thousands of housewives, university staff and untrained others who are perfectly capable of deciding what is and is not the superior technical and economic way forward.

      • The Magpie says:

        Indeed, The ‘Pie generally agrees with your point; calling for membership opinions opens the floodgates to ill-informed wish solutions which drown out (see what I’ve done there?) serious and informed opinion.And Linda’s well meaning agenda gets so overwhelmed that she starts to get a tad tetchy when the going gets bumpy.

        That said, the core group of WFT experts is a formidable one and very well credentialed, covering a broad spectrum of concerns.

        And The ‘Pie must say he has NEVER heard the suggestion of plastic pipes before, hence his comments. Plastic may well be Ok but it just seems that in this political sideshow, it will take 12 months minimum for a decision on such as issue. Next will be the safety of the glue used in the joins.

        • Non Aligned Worker says:

          I read that they were considering Glass Fibre Resin
          Pipe (GRP). Council should at least be transparent about what they are evaluating.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Large poly pipes have welded joints, I have seen large size diameters up to the 1800mm required, as you say engineers will work out the variables in regards to friction loss, expansion etc, but they are growing in usage around the world for these low pressure pipes oversized to ensure volumes. I would imagine significant savings over DI pipes but these would have to be imported more than likely, just something else for the WFTAG to kick around for a while.

  11. Gonzo says:

    Pie, It might have been a quiet week, but it’s an excellent blog. You have a go at two major whingers, Peter Beattie and Mick de Brenni; the caption writer who lost his sense of direction when he wrote the bloke “lost his left leg after an ulcer” (neither the leg nor the ulcer could be found); Jacinda’s lovely cloak that had some critics whinging when they should have been criticising the pantomime pair on her right, and April Glover who didn’t deserve to be fired for writing well. It’s the Daily Mail which has become rapidly vapid. Keep up the good work!

  12. Sandgroper says:

    Don’t think Ms April Glover will find it hard to get a gig after being fired by the Daily Mail Australia. Although unintended, this might have been a good career move.
    Her succinct, colourful and truthful assessment of some ‘reality’ show contestants would have put her on top of my editorial recruitment list in bygone days.

  13. Moment says:

    The Com Games are over, but wait there is more. While the five or sux game leaders and head ‘Dentures’ were putting their little bonuses away, the selected clean up teams were all busy getting paid some good coin as the train drivers receiving a little extra $2.5M just to turn up for work. The no pay volunteers were offered a celebration event for their hard work. Sounded great until they found out it was all BYO a little too late. But if you feel a little thirsty or hungry you can go pay for it yourselves, until Ann P graciously offered to pay for everyone herself. You can bet that Cheesecake Dentures is still hurting somewhere. His eardrums maybe, or now has a denture gap, but check out if he is standing and not sitting on his grandstand seat at the next NRL footy game in Sydney. Wrapping it all up, must be off, things to see places to go and more games to watch like Barcelona Knights play Cronulla Rabbits but that’s footy for you, big fan you know.

  14. Old tradesman says:

    Labor just don’t get it. If hiring useless and not required public servants costs $4B then if they didn’t, they could raise the Dam wall,gravity feed water to the Ville using some kind of pipe to be disclosed before tenders close, build an environmentally friendly hydro plant or a low emissions coal fired HELE plant, and, as and added plus would employ thousands, but when you think of it pink bat solutions are easier to implement.

  15. Memory Man says:

    The problem with these pronouncements is that no-one does any checking, least of all TEL.

    https://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/news/us-marines-will-boost-townsville-economy/news-story/6217020c135a340b27b9d19487acefbe

  16. BB367 says:

    All parliamentarians should retire by the age of 70. Time to give others a go. Derryn Hinch looks like they have dug him out of a grave and plonked him on a hair. Any minute now he will start dribbling.

  17. The Magpie says:

    Give yourself a break from the woes of the world and get a warm glow from this news item. And he’s only bloody 10!

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-04-23/australian-10yo-violinist-youngest-winner-of-menuhin-competition/9688754

  18. Dutch Reverend says:

    Interesting article in the ‘Bullsheet’ today on Jake Granville. It appears that the Cowboys have resigned James Tamou, and in case you missed it he played last week against the Titans.

  19. Dutch Reverend says:

    In reference to the ‘festival’ banners and containers still at Strand Park, my better half speculated that the council may be waiting to put out all the V8’s banners and remove the festival ones at the same time to save a bit of dosh. Makes sense if that’s the case because I’m sure they could find a way to have the cost covered by the Comm Games budget. Don’t get me wrong. I still wouldn’t trust them to put on a kid’s birthday party.

  20. Linda Ashton says:

    Well the deed is done … PLASTIC it is for the new Townsville water pipeline from the Haughton Burdekin sector. Future generations will live with the legacy – best practice or not. We had one chance only to go for gold.

    Our tech Team’s starter questions for Council in the next meeting.

    1. Why convene a City Deal Water Security Taskforce and appoint an independent long time respected local Chairman whose recommendation for steel pipe to be used was not actioned?

    2. How much was paid for the Taskforce expert engineer consultants, who paid and what did they get wrong?

    2. What were the selection criteria?

    3. Are there any other agendas influencing the decision for rapid supply and installation by Dec 2019? ie. election date?

    4. Has Council honoured the consistent commitment to MAXIMISE jobs for locals and will the comparative employment figures be revealed?

    5. Will the technical research into the pros and cons of plastic or steel for our specific requirements be made available to the community?

    6. Will the State require any savings be returned to treasury or will $$$ be put towards other water security aspects eg. upgrade of the Haughton Channel, solar power, other?

    7. Is the State funding timeframe still over 4 years?

    8. Is Council lobbying the Federal Government to match State funding for Stage 2 pipeline to Clare?

    • The Magpie says:

      Dear Future generations,
      Please send any comments/complaints/ (but no letter bombs please) to:
      Jenny Hill (ret)
      C/- Big House On The Hill.
      Malta.

      • Rusty Nail says:

        Hope they bury it. I don’t believe there’s been a plastic made that won’t deteriorate when exposed long term to the NQ sunlight.

        • Achilles says:

          There’s also the real threat that some drongo will attack it or even shoot holes in it.
          The same mentality pervades the vermin that think it’s OK to take someone’s car and wreck it for “fun”.

          • A keen eye says:

            They wont shoot it (pipeline) . Have you seen all those little red plastic targets with the dots on them , that they hang from power lines? They put them there cos street/road signs are expensive to replace when the rednecks go on safari . Gives them something else to shoot at if they feel like it, cheap as chips .

          • Ronny Righteous says:

            Back in the late 80s I led a team that tested some experimental off-road tyres that were, quite literally, bulletproof. We know, because we took a shot at one of them after it and its fellows had emerged completely unscathed from a marathon trek across Australia along the Tropic of Capricorn. (Naturally, they never made it to the market because the manufacturers would be stupid to sell a tyre that could outlast the vehicle).

            You can buy a Kevlar vest that will stop all but armour-piercing rounds, so I’m tipping these pipes will be tough enough to withstand attacks by pea-brained pig hunters.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          One would hope so Rusty, imagine the size of the thrust blocks and exp joints on that bloody thing. The bit I found interesting was Iplex commitment to opening up the plant out the Bohle again which shut in 2015 for memory leaving Vinidex as the only plant in the North. Was there a commitment by Iplex to continue operations at the plant post the pipeline, what are the details, commercial in confidence I suppose.

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      To quote JL. Strange days indeed. Most perculiar momma.

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      Egg shell legacy?

  21. Cynical Cricket says:

    Looks like PuzzledChook doesn’t have any answers for education.
    This scheme was a waste of money last time it was tried.

    Reading volunteers program for Queensland schools ‘a waste of money’
    The Palaszczuk Government has reinstated the Ready Reading Program, scrapped six years ago, in a bid to improve NAPLAN results.
    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-04-24/hopes-volunteer-readers-will-boost-qld-naplan-results/9692506?WT.ac=statenews_qld

  22. Alex DeLarge says:

    Iplex describe themselves as pipeline suppliers. Where shall the pipes be actually built? Who by? Where?

    • Cynical Cricket says:

      They’ve got a plant on Ingham Rd at the Bohle, however I have never seen pipes this size in that yard.

    • No more dredging says:

      Alex, you may find it worthwhile to search “Iplex glass reinforced polyester pipeline”. Stacks of information (standards, pictures) about the product (up to 3000mm diameter) and manufacturing process in their plant in South Australia. This stuff is not the same as ‘poly’ pipe and it’s not really ‘plastic’ either. The industry calls it GRP.

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      AD Looks like Iplex will have the pipes manufactured by RPC Pipe Systems in South Australia and fabricate the elbows, changes of angle etc in Townsville.
      Doesn’t look like RPC have ever had this many large diameter pipes in a single project so it will be interesting to see how they will go.
      Maybe they will move part of their manufacturing line to Townsville to reduce the expected $15 million dollar road freight bill.
      Iplex are a very professional company and RPC have good credentials, so I hope that the designers have picked the correct product for this application. Only time will tell.

      • Alex DeLarge says:

        Thank you, SwissWorker. A polite, informative and respectful answer. Something of which No More Dreding has time after time proved himself/herself/itself Incapable.

  23. Sandgroper says:

    Memo to Julian Burnside, Yassmin Abdel-Magied, Waleed Aly and their camp-followers:

    Next Anzac Day will you please, for once in your miserable lives, remain silent and let the rest of us have one day in the year to remember our fallen and celebrate all that is good about our country.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Well said Gropes, but how do we escape their endless shit they spray out, I never watch any of these people because I don’t care what they have to say, but then the next day all the news websites run stories on what these people had to say the night before, they’re like a fucking disease, but even if you don’t catch it you still get the diagnosis.

  24. Council workers "shovel" says:

    Lol so now to meet the mullet deadline for the pipe to be finished before the election is having a cheaper alternative to the steel one that king Brad suggested. So my question is this, if it was going to cost 225mil over 4yrs and this is going to built in the next 12 mths that means its only going to cost around 60 mill??? What happens to the rest of the money. Adani short fall payment? Jamie durie 10mil? Or will it pay the loan off to qld treasurey for all the money borrowed to pay wages and redundancy payments.

  25. Cantankerous but happy says:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6vlu1FRaic

    This has been doing the rounds but in case you havent seen it, 2 of the calmest cops in the face of some self important pain in the arse.

  26. The Owl says:

    For the record the Mullet and our three State drones were all in South Aust yesterday doing a tour of the pipe manufacturers facilities.
    Did their best to talk up all the jobs for T’ville but admitted the pipes will be manufactured in SA and not T’ville. We only get to make “fixtures and fittings”.
    Dudded again but the big question is – why are they inspecting the SA plant AFTER the contract has been signed? Surely that should have been done before signing off on the multi-million contract.
    Raggat is lauding council’s new found transparency in today’s Astonisher so I guess the Mullet will be telling us just how much this new plastic fantastic pipeline is going to cost and whether we ratepayers will be footing the bill for interest just so Mullet looks good before the next election.

    • The Magpie says:

      If you’re referring to the pic and story in today’s Astonisher, Owl, time for Specsavers for you … that was at the local branch in the Bohle.

  27. The Magpie says:

    COULD IT BE, OH LORD LET IT BE!

    https://www.smh.com.au/business/companies/news-corp-in-talks-to-sell-some-local-and-community-titles-20180426-p4zbvf.html

    Is the Townsville Bulletin on the auction block? Probably not, considering News makes a poultice from its print operations here. But you never know … and like Forest Gump chokkies, you never know what you might get. The Lancini Lancer?

    Nah. that’s what it is already.

    • Lord Howard Hertz says:

      Talk about horns of a dilemma and all that stuff … right on, ‘Pie, if there are enough locals with the readies to buy the Bulletin … you’ve previously mentioned maybe $100million … people with sort of money generally don’t uphold the ideals of impartial journalism serving the community. Really, maybe the devil we know and all that, because at least we know this current mob’s entirely discounted agenda.

    • The Magpie says:

      According to ever reliable Amanda Meade in the Guardian today, the Gold Coast Bulletin and the Geelong Advertiser, the two most equivalent papers to the Astonisher here in Townsville, may be up for grabs. If so, maybe, just maybe …

      • Dutch Reverend says:

        I reckon if that is the case, they would most likely be looking at selling off the newspapers but retain the printing presses. Makes sense to do the only real thing they are good at.

  28. Rusty Nail says:

    Just want to congratulate Cranky and Gropes for letting that comment from NMD go through to the keeper. Well played chaps!

    • Simon Templar says:

      I concur.

      Probably because, like the rest of us here, they have worked out he is a keyboard wanker.

    • Sandgroper says:

      I agree with Simon’s assessment and enjoyed Rusty’s cricketing analogy.
      Cranky and I are old-style players who don’t polish our balls to keep spinning left.
      That said, I don’t think NMD has anything to shine.

  29. Scientician79 says:

    This council wouldn’t know transparency if it jumped up and bit them.

    This pipeline is going to be an on-going source of pain for Mullet, the funding isn’t lining up with her electoral timeline which means there will be borrowings and interest.

    No doubt she is hoping the current top off of the dam will see her through the next election well and truly before having to deal with such thorny issues as pumping costs.

    Then there is the type of pipe selected which is against the recommendation of the water taskforce.

    The problem is now one of credibility, Mullet and Impaler have led us up the garden path on so many issues why would we trust them on this one?

    It may be this is perfectly fine as a material, but where is the transparency on why it was chosen over steel?

    As always more questions than answers, and of course the Astonisher isn’t asking any questions just breathlessly reporting press releases as fact.

    • The Magpie says:

      Exactly, S, particularly the transparency issue. The ‘Pie has been pondering why the decision for the plastic pipe alternative was taken in a closed meeting. Now, certainly, this is a rare occasion when commercial in confidence m,ay well apply, but that does not mean that the council meeting could openly discuss relative merits in public before closing the meeting, then clearing the gallery as they do in rape trials in court (see the similarity there?) and discuss sensitive pricing issues among themselves.

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        ‘Pie From the pipeline public tender document
        TCW00258 Part 4 General Conditions of Contract (written by the Council)
        Item 47 Public Disclosure.
        (a) The supplier acknowledges and agrees that disclosures regarding the Project by the Council may be required.
        (i) Under the right to information act 2009 (Qld) or any similar legislation; and
        (ii) To satisfy the disclosure requirements of Government accountability.
        etc.

        • I'll be plucked says:

          Hey NAW-nuts, you on the inside at the TCC – you seem to know ‘plenty’ – or are you just making it up?

          • I'll be plucked says:

            PS – NAW-nuts, if you are on the inside can you please tell us when The Impaler is leaving and when we are going to get our plucking dump vouchers back? Thank you.

          • Non Aligned Worker says:

            IBP Just an innocent bystander with an interest in what happens in Townsville. (I also read a lot)

  30. The Owl says:

    Heard that the Mullet is negotiating with News Corpse to buy the Astonisher.
    She runs it now so should get a discount.

  31. Old tradesman says:

    Looking at the photo of the 3 ladies at the Iplex plant in the Astonisher today, you would think that Jenny would have go to Specsavers with the other two.

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      With the required safety requirements for the project I would have thought that Fletcher Building Industies (owner of Iplex..yep a Kiwi owned company) would enforce the compulsory wearing of safety glasses on their industrial site. Our Mayor is obviously exempt from the projects mandatory requirements. ( I won’t boor you with the relevant contractural clauses for this gaffe). Would be surprised if Fletcher would internally publish the photo due to the obvious non compliance to their safety rules. ( failure to comply is compulsory exit fron site)

      • I'll be plucked says:

        Thanks NAW-nuts – that might be enough from you this week me thinks………

        • Animal Activist says:

          Time to take your own advice, Plucker. Stop flogging dead horses.

          • I'll be plucked says:

            Hey there animal – two words for you “Get plucked’!

          • The Magpie says:

            OK OK a few feathers flying can be good fun – especially in the rare case that the comments are witty – but this is the end of this truly unedifying circle jerk.

            But thank you all very much. For not much.

  32. Genre B. Goode says:

    Nice to see lines out the door at the Perc Tucker Gallery tonight for the portrait prize! I don’t exaggerate either. Never seen anything like it!

    • Pleasantly bemused says:

      That is great to hear! Not sure about ‘never seeing anything like it’ though; WOW springs to mind, while previous Percival launches were always out the door (and standing room only on both floors too!)

      • The Magpie says:

        Obviously was WOWing elsewhere during the wildly successful, queue-creating lego show.

        • Dutch Reverend says:

          WOW is the World Of Wearable art that, when shown in Townsville was the only city that had shown this exhibition outside NZ

      • Dutch Reverend says:

        Let’s not forget the exhibition by Ben Quilty which wasn’t originally going to be shown in Townsville, but strong lobbying by the previous, or is that the previous, previous gallery administration with the war memorial to have it shown in Townsville.

        • Genre B. Goode says:

          Not intended as a slight or oversight on earlier work of Perc Tucker gallery… Didn’t catch any of the afore mentioned events myself. It was just great to see.

  33. Gazza says:

    Just switched on now to Sky News to see headlines and who do I see MC’ing the show? Peter Gleeson….WTF???? Don’t they have someone with cred?

  34. Memory Man says:

    Adani’s claims about the Carmichael mine project being a vertically integrated proposition has been exposed … by their own words. Readers will recall that all along the claim was that the mine was as safe as houses because Adani itself would be the user of the coal in its Indian power plant. Well, that turns out to be another furphy. In this piece, Adani admits that it is running around Asia looking for off-take agreements for the Carmichael coal. In other words, Adani itself isn’t willing to commit to bankable off-take agreements.

    https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/apr/26/adani-builds-coal-fired-power-plant-in-india-to-send-energy-to-bangladesh

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