Why this blog exists...

The Magpie

Saturday, April 21st, 2018   |   98 comments

They Haven’t A Leg To Stand On – The Australian Makes The Cock Up Of The Year

Even The Astonisher wouldn’t make this most unfortunate error. Well, maybe not …

Also this week, is the appointment of retired Major General Stuart Smith to report on Townsville crime one of Anna Palaszczuk’s most desperate and cynical moves to date? You decide.

And why a reporter should be reinstated after she was fired for using the C-word in a story … surely truth a defence? … a new twist in shooting the messenger.

And NZ PM Jacinda Ardern ruffles feathers at Buck Palace by wearing feathers to meet the Queen … and after seeing the images, The Magpie agrees there are some things that are clearly inappropriate.

But first …

The sour taste of the Commonwealth Games lingers on, long after the athletes have departed either for home or for the hills.

We now learn that the five executives in charge of what has been a dismal organisational effort which has brought international disdain on the event are to receive hundreds of thousands of dollars in bonuses. One can only wonder what they would have been awarded had they actually done their jobs somewhat more effectively.

But the stand-out clown prince of the whole shebang can only be the Cheshire Cat face of the games, Peter Dentures Beattie. Infesting our TV screens at every turn 24/7, this oily, ageing carnival barker was finally forced to admit that the closing ceremony could have honoured the athletes much better, it had all been a mistake. But his apology, delivered with all his hallmark shining insincerity, was totally nullified a day or two later when he told Sky News that critics of the closing ceremony were ‘whingers’. That earned him a very special medal from an incensed Bentley.

games small 2

But Whingeing Seems To Be All The Fashion Right Now.

We’ve enjoyed a wall-to-wall whingeing wail from both the Astonisher and Mayor Mullet about those who disagree with her Adani Airways strategy: she then directed her legal lickspittle to threaten a ratepayer with court action for making a complaint about the issue. Then we had the airport’s Kevin Gill whingeing about Qantas not giving his company millions to enhance its assets,  which led the Mayor to call for a whingeing (and completely ignored) boycott of Qantas for not RAISING ticket prices … next, the airport boss moaned to a local publication about people were criticising him for his wholly juvenile his childish furniture rearrangements to make entry to the Qantas Lounge a spiteful obstacle course. Then Adele The Impaler Young had a little blub about how nasty people were to her on Facebook … really, dear? Cannot imagine why, pet.

And then moving into the big league this week, we had, as aforementioned, the smugly grinning wiseacre Peter Beattie describing those who thought the Games closing ceremony was less than perfect as whingers.

About then, one figured that couldn’t be topped for dissembling arrogance … but then on Thursday, in skips this bombastic oaf,

Mick di brenni

… the Queensland Sports Minister Mick de Brenni, who told football clubs that whinged about the ruinous rents that they have to pay Stadiums Queensland that it was their fault. De Brenni, with that selective reality so much loved by those at the George Street trough, said the clubs could solve the problem by ‘playing better football and thus attracting bigger crowds’.

What affect this interesting government policy will have on our new stadium and ticket prices for same is worth deep contemplation.

Hopping Mad

It has long been said that those who do not know left from right do not know right from wrong. Based on the cretinous religious belief that left handed people were all suspect of being wrongdoers, thus the Latin for left ‘sinister’ evolved somewhat unfairly into its modern meaning. Even just a few decades ago, nuns and priests were forcing left handed students to write and generally favour their right hands.

Alas, then,  And a note to the subject of this photograph and caption … we are laughing at the paper, not you.it appears that the Australian newspaper has a sociopath sinistral working as a caption writer. Certainly one who doesn’t know left from right.

Screen shot 2018-04-21 at 11.20.53 PM

One trusts that the surgeons removed the correct leg.

This sloppiness also shows how News Ltd betrays its own staff. The general public usually assume quite reasonably that the reporter’s by-line applies to the whole story, incorrectly attributing the headline and the photo caption to them. It is a shame that a fine reporter like Jamie Walker is held up to this error … Jamie was one of the better journos to ever work at the Bulletin; he was there when it was a half-way decent paper, long before local shareholders were sold out by a very ‘sinistral’ executive, who played Judas to Rupert Murdoch’s chief priest for his 30 pieces of silver. That betrayal has resulted in the Townsville Bulletin readers being the ones crucified.

Con Job

The retired Major General Stuart Smith AO has served his country with distinction, intelligence and hard work, with his career including overseas commands in Timor Leste and Afghanistan. He is perhaps best known in North Queensland as the coordinator of the invaluable defence force response to Cyclone Yasi in 2011.

That is why it truly distressing to see such a distinguished person being so cynically used as a political pawn and bandaid measure to hoodwink an alarmed electorate.

In January this year, he was appointed on a year-long contract as an ’independent’ consultant by the Palaszczuk government to advise on ways to confront the city’s growing crime wave. He is to report directly to the Premier.

Screen shot 2018-04-21 at 11.26.06 PM

Of all the insulting tripe that this Premier has served up to the Townsville community, this is up there with the most egregious. Especially the time span of a year, a virtual head patting ‘now be patient’, as though no real sorely needed action can be taken for at least 12 months. Maj-Gen Smith inadvertently gave the game away himself when appointed, the local media:

“I need to speak to those that are victims of crime, to mums and dads, to aunties and uncles, to patrol officers, teachers, case workers, to disenfranchised youths,” he said. Maj-Gen Smith said he wanted to have “all segments” of the community involved in a solution for the city.

Those words describe precisely – and precisely is the precise word in this instance – why we elect local state MPs – it is a virtual job description for their most vital role in earning our trust, not to mention our money.

Now, let The ‘Pie be clear, Maj-Gen Smith no doubt took up this position because he possesses what our three Labor members and the Premier lack – a genuine concern for the dreadful situation in our city, a city he knows well. And having retired at the pinnacle of a long and stellar career, it is reasonable to assume Maj-Gen Smith doesn’t share the politicians’ prime motivation, that of personal reward and perks at the public tit. But there can be no mistake that he is no more than a paid Labor appointment to a nonsense position, tasked with doing the job of the three elected Labor state members covering the city. That he may, in the end, do it well, is irrelevant.

Why on earth could our three blind mice have not told the premier what is really needed to stem the flow of lawlessness that is affecting the city’s future through it’s growing reputation as Crimsville? Or did they – and this is the response we have got from a busted-arse premier running a busted arse government?

Good luck, Maj-Gen, but no matter what you come up with, do not expect any real action any time soon, you and your ideas will be quickly subsumed into the party political mindset that is paralysing this state . This country for that matter.

Kiwi Capers … and Capes

That travelling trough on wheels, the Commonwealth Heads Of State meeting in London, has again proved to be a mainly pointless hootenanny for the wide variety of blood-sucking burdens o the public purse from around the globe, and from the local palaces royal.

But with real news thin on the ground, the media has pounced on NZ PM Jacinda Ardern’s decision to make a cultural statement on behalf of her Maori people by wearing a traditional Maori leader’s cloak to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace. The cloak is called a Kahu huruhuru, and every one was thankful that the Berk of Edinburgh wasn’t around for one of his sensitive little ethnic jokes. But some questioned whether it was dignified to wear such an item to such an occasion. And after viewing an image of the palace visit, The ‘Pie is inclined to question whether fancy dress is fitting, even if it be elevated by the term ‘cultural tradition’. Look at this …

Screen shot 2018-04-21 at 12.17.59 PM

It is clear that such frippery of outmoded cultural dress and carefully stitched finery is undignified for such an exalted occasion. The ‘Pie thinks it is somewhat demeaning – and he is referring of course to those wankers on the left in pantomime drag from a G&S operetta or Alice In Wonderland – they should be ashamed to be seen in public before visiting dignitaries.

But Jacinda looked elegant and commanding, just love the cloak.

Sticks And Stones May Break Your Bones ..,.

… but words can get you fired.

(Trigger Warning: if you are the type to have a fit of the vapours at rude words in print, skip this item and a little lie down.)

During the week, there was a learned discussion about a reporter who was fired by the Daily Mail for using the word ‘cunt’ in a story about ‘reality’ television performers.

Screen shot 2018-04-17 at 12.53.30 PM

Now there are calls for her to be reinstated, on the very reasonable grounds that the Daily Mail did not offer the proper supervision to a junior reporter by not employing enough sub-editors to catch the offending material. (Sound familiar, anyone?)

As The Magpie said at the time, it was ironic that the one time any reporter at the Daily Mail told the truth, they were fired. And indeed, the old bird failed to see the problem, the full quote of the offending passage accurately reflects the reality of such programs, even if in a colourfully colloquial way. It is thus:

Florence initially rose to fame on Matty J’s season of The Bachelor, before unsuccessfully trying her luck at love again in Paradise. But most people who were educated at a high-school level know these vapid cunts only go on the shows to find mediocre Instagram fame and make a living promoting teeth whiteners and unnecessary cosmetic procedures.”

The ‘Pie asks you -where’s the problem?

Meanwhile, In Trump’s America

Lightys, Camera, Fiction

‘Lights … Camera … Fiction.’

…………..

That’s your lot for this week, pretty quiet on the local front, but have your own rant on comments 24/7… and any donation to help the blog cover costs is always appreciated. The how-to-donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

Post a Comment

The Magpie encourages all to take part in the discussion and let their voice be heard.
In order to post a comment, you must provide a name. While you don't have to use your real name, it should be something unique so users can identify you in the discussion. Generic names like “Anonymous” will likely result in your comment being ignored.
Let the discussion begin!

Current ye@r *