Once in a while , a story comes along that defies journalists to even try to embellish it … and such a story came when a rather unpleasant chap, who purported to be a chef but was actually an international male prostitute, killed his Asian transvestite ‘wife’, cooked up ‘some parts of her ‘ and then wandered off around the Brisbane suburban streets before doing himself in.
Any book editor in charge of fiction would reject it as too fanciful, and editors and subs would known they only have to tell the story even without adjectives and they’ve done their job. The paper would look tough, informed and on top of events. So nothing could go wrong, could it? Well, here’s why you never say that in the newspaper business.
Yesterday, the Courier Mail ran this front page
.
But such was the rush and attention given to this wild yarn, seems no one checked the standard stuff like pointers to inside stories that was already laid out. So have a look bottom left of the page.
Qld’s best food secrets? The ‘Pie could go through a whole range of distasteful yukyukkery about possible recipes, but he won’t.
But he will quote a mate, Russell, who suggested that since the cops would say only that the ‘chef’ had cooked ‘parts’ of his victim, and his victim was a transvestite, was this the ultimate sausage sizzle?
But this story caused similar but not quite so spectacular grief to other publications, too. This from what looks like another edition of the Courier.
What, has the LNP’s Plan A ended up bubbling away gently on the stovetop, and they’ve had to fall back on Plan B? And a couple of other matters – ‘secret contingency plot’? Ummm, wouldn’t that be ‘plan’, because it simply means if the Brisbane Bantam gets rolled, the LNP will take the unprecedented step of – gasp – electing another leader? Crumbs, they’ll do anythin’, this bloody mob in George Stgreet!!
But the other matter here is that it didn’t take long for the tabloids to fall back on old and risible habits. This paper borrowed Simpo Templeton’s favourite word and ‘revealed’ the extraordinary fact of ‘Mum’s Shock At Killer Chef’s Gruesome Crime’. Really? You sure? C’mon, it’s odds on she really said ‘What a hoot. Ah, he/she really was a one, the little darlin’ never knew if he was Arthur or Martha.’
The Astonisher decided that today the story was going off the boil, so as to speak, and rated only page 13, instead choosing a front page – and all of pages 4 and 5 – with a vacuous story about Mayor Mullet’s musings on what asset sales money she wants when the government leases out the Townsville Port, Ergon and the Mt Isa rail link.
So distracted were they down in Flinders Street West that they failed to notice a teensy weensy glitch on page 2 … try your lcuk , see if you can spot it.
Unless one of the survivors was a Croatian named Lukcy, it’s another cracker from the Tonwsvllie Buleltin.
And with this growing track record incompetence by the Bulletin’s sub-editors in Brisbane/New Zealand/ Mumbai , you’d think they’d play it safe with headlines. But when you see this …
.
… the paper’s lack of credibility makes it hard to know whether this is a misguided juvenile attempt at klunky humour – ‘shore’ simply doesn’t work anyway – or just another cock-up. You choose.
And since we’re here today, for those who don’t subscribe to The Magpie (it’s free and you get a heads up email when a new blog is posted or a comment is published, so you can join in the fun) let’s re-visit the small cyclone of comments that swirled in this morning with some good laughs to help you over hump day. The best comment is last, from Xanthuli. See you Saturday.
World Hijab Day, Feb 1, 2015.
Muslims and non-Muslims urged to wear hijab for 24 hours to (somehow) ‘create awareness, unity, understanding and harmony’. Could be a snag though.
‘G’day Wanda. Didn’t see you at World Hijab Day.’
‘Really? I was there.’
‘I didn’t see you, then.’
‘Well that’s the idea, isn’t it?’
I’ve always felt that hiding your face in public is an insult, certainly to our open and welcoming way of life (rednecks aside), but I don’t get too worked up about it.
HOWEVER, it strikes me as almost sinister that a suggestion that all women cover up their faces for a day can – as you say, ‘Pie – somehow create awareness, unity,understanding and harmony.
Is this the Islam tail wagging the Aussie dog yet again?
Been wondering about this enquiry into the Newman Government. Apart from the sheer absurdity of the Green Loonies cooperating with the PUP psychopaths to make it happen in the first place, their respective agendas seem to be as disparate as could possibly be. Palmer simply seeks revenge upon those who would not bow to his will, the Traffic Lights seek some relevance by bagging out the decisions of a democratically elected government (and, like them or not, there is no disputing the election result).
I heard a Green airhead the other day say that there is some precedent for such an enquiry initiated by minority Federal parties into a current State government. I have not been able to find any such thing. I may be mistaken in that regard, but couldn’t find anything in some hurried research.
And for what purpose? The Enquiry cannot require people to attend, neither can it impose any sanctions. Newman et al could merely say, “To hell with you, I’m not playing your silly games.” and ignore the whole process. So…we can expect a conga line of posturing and sanctimonious extremists to lecture us upon how we as a State were so misguided to vote for the LNP. With the end result a politically biased and oh-so-predictable report back to the Senate – conveniently just before the next State election.
The danger for all concerned in this farce is a matter of ita res accedent lumina rebus. Yabula is definitely going to rate a mention or two from the Greens. Which shall be very good for those who earn a living out there. PUP will probably suggest that Newman is an agent for an alien species living on the far side of the moon and then be offended when we laugh at them.
Political cynicism at its very worst.
Oh, Grumps you old show-off! ‘ita res accedent lumina rebus’ indeed!
Now if too many of those sweet folk from the Upper Ross stumble into this blog, they will be alarmed to learn that Ms Buttrose was injured in an accident when hit by a bus headlight.
These are the same folk who believe that Deutschland uber alles means a Volkswagen ran over Alice.
There ya go, just proves this blog brings truth that kindles light for other truths, as that old laugh-a-minute Lucretius was wont to say..
These nut cases and their enquiry can sing songs and fart in their fist till their hearts content (at taxpayers expense of course), at the end of the day it will be the Qld Voters who have their own inquiry on or before June 2015.
And my guess is “our inquiry” will be a lot cheaper than what they propose to piss up wall to produce a 500 page report which say FA.
Double merit points for the person who can identify the public building within 500 kilometers ofTownsville that has this reference in the foyer.
MEMO: Supreme Leader Xgluntylk, Supreme Commander, Dark Side of the Moon Earth Invasion Collective.
STATUS: URGENT
Damn and sodding bogholes, our agent in Brisbane has been outed by those bloody Greens and some turkey called Grumpy. How did they discover Campbell Newman (real name Pharkuloti) was one of ours. Recommend urgent sweep for security leaks.
Regards to the missus,
Earth Agent Xanthtuli ( Earth name:Peta Credlin).