Basically, as a politician, she’s not very good. The ‘Pie tells why. Bazza The Bagman Taylor unloads his Emanate legal practice but he’ll walk amongst for a while yet … and a sign of the times; a Townsville landmark of sorts saved by a local family business …
Also, the teddy bears picnic turns into a pic-lick: if you go down in the woods today, you’ll be sure of a big surprise … a BLOODY big surprise … you might love your Teddy, but now, he can love you back, at least until the batteries run out.
But first, Bentley wants to get something off his chest, along with the entire sports loving world. Our boy was incensed with the biting attack by the Serial Muncher of Montevideo, Uruguay’s Luis Suarez. This grub’s animal instincts don’t end there, according to Bentley.
Back home, the national attention here in Oz was on the bizarre team-up of climate change champion Al Gore and mining magnate-cum-pollie Clive Palmer. Everyone is still scratching their heads about how Gore came to endorse the man responsible for dumping the Carbon Tax. Was there some other force in the background guiding events with an unseen hand?
Looking closely, it seems so.
Was the Caped Crusader, yes, Batman himself, hovering at the media conference? Looks like it.
Big Bazza Taylor
Speaking of shadowy eminences, here in the ‘Ville, word is that Barry Taylor’s Emanate legal has been sold to Shine Lawyers. Our favorite foghorn-leghorn is said to have done a multi-million dollar deal which will – hallelujah, we thought we’d lost him! – see Bazza stay on for four or five years as a director or something. Unless … oh, no, say it ain’t so, Joe … he’s to work out of Emanate’s Brisbane or Gold Coast office. After that, the betting is down to the $10 million pile at Noosa fulltime for retirement. Say what you want, you can’t argue with success.
Now for a cheery little feel-good story.
We all have a favorite neon sign flashing somewhere in the back of our mind, reminding us of a certain place, era or event. The neon kookaburra of Charlie’s Milk Bar in Brisbane Street Tamworth stays with The Pie from his youth.
But with the advent of Jupiters Casino here in the ‘Ville, the Bowen Road High Roller Motel’s flashing playing cards sign is etched in many a memory, heralding as it did the false dawn of cashed-up gamblers invading the town and creating a northern Vegas.
Heralding a hoped-for era.
The sign recently disappeared, with the site being redeveloped, but that bit of popular culture hasn’t ended up on a junk heap.
Local businessman Bob Thompson, of Bayswater Road Radiators, national figure in his trade, a pilot, collector of a magnificent stable of vintage cars and a boatie to boot, Bob maintains a lively interest in all sides of life.
Recently, one of the three sons was trolling around e-Bay, and spotted the High Rollers sign was up for grabs – $500 delivered.
And so it was, and there it is, the ultimate in man shed trophies – if you’ve got a big enough shed.
Happy Days rescue mission: Casey, Ben and Damien Thompson.
Given the Thompson’s close connection with yesteryear in Townsville and in general, it’s good to know that a little bit of a bygone era remains with us to remind us of our passage through time and space. Happy days!
Moving on.
They say one definition of madness is doing the same thing three times and expecting a different outcome each time.
If that’s the case, is Mayor Mullet is due for an assessment by the men in white coats?
Time and again, she shoots from the lip, making grandiose pronouncements – especially in her unilaterally formulated budget proposals – knowing full well that there will be amendments and sometimes negotiations to follow with the majority bloc on the council. She’s inevitably defeated – it’s simple maths, Mullet m’dear – and seems bemused that she’s been rolled yet again. But that the democratic electoral system for you.
And this week, she went down in flames yet again over her proposed kerbside hard rubbish collection policy, a policy she put up in her budget without any consultation with those who would ultimately decide its fate. She ran the policy in the media, especially a fawning compliant Astonisher. It’s her favorite but consistently unsuccessful tactic which she apparently hopes will cow opponents into agreement.
Far from it, and our mayor was made to look silly with this embarrassing tilting at windmills, because in the end, she had to admit in council she didn’t have a clue how her scheme would be operated, who’d do it or how much that would cost. Her fixation with this idea – she obviously is under the illusion that this is a popular vote winner – is even stranger when it is realised it is based on the failed and now-discontinued kerbside schemes in Ipswich and the Sunshine Coast.
The mayor failed at all times to address the considerable downsides to this thought-bubble policy, downsides that are spelt out clearly on the Sunshine Coast website explaining why the idea was stopped down there.
All of which would apply here.
The underlying question here is why doesn’t the mayor extensively consult with the other councillors before she presents her budget? (The ‘Pie will bet that there will be a vote sooner or later to that effect.) She doesn’t rule by fiat, although she appears to think she should, and a more inclusive policy under the present council configuration would save her – and us – time, embarrassment and could lead to more productive policies all round.
Well, there’s an answer to that question.
By going it alone, and letting Simpo Templeton foam at the mouth on her behalf, Mayor Mullet figures she is getting political mileage, exclusive media coverage, and will score points in the electorate when her noble efforts are dashed by the dastardly Townsville First people.
The truth is it’s getting tedious and transparent , Jenny, so the only conclusion that can be reached is twofold – that you are an old-style party political dreamweaver intent on furthering a personal power-based agenda… and sad to say, you’re not very good at it – just look at your track record, including getting your current gig because of the massive split in conservative ranks at the last election.
And it’s detrimental to Townsville.
For whatever reasons, it must be admitted you put considerable time and effort into public life, but those efforts are dictated by a mind-set which locks you into a time warp that defies current electoral reality. This Labor-inspired us-and-them approach should stop, issues should be run in the council chamber, not the paper, and in turn, The Bulletin should stop being a player and return to being a reporter of what others do to when we elect THEM to govern us.
All that said, it was amusing to see your colleague Clr Colleen ‘Boo Hoo’ Doyle decide to follow your example, and burst into print rather than tears in a ploy to protect a hoped-for perk squirrelled away in the budget papers.
Boo Hoo will be the first cab off the rank when the sister city junkets roll around, (being very pissed off that she was turfed off a trade trip to China recently). So she was mightily miffed when Clr Parsnip asked why there wasn’t an obvious line item for discussion over a proposal to lift the Sister City budget (a criminal waste of ratepayers money at any amount) from $43,000 to $84,000. He seemed to think things weren’t exactly out in the open.
Boo Hoo’s reaction tended to confirm that suspicion.
Fearing a freebie holiday was in jeopardy, Boo Hoo borrowed Simpo off the mayor’s knee, and ran what was a very personal beef in the media (or ‘an eruption of war’ as Simpo so typically understated it). The really sad thing was her slavish compliance in making herself look an A grade dill by getting done up in sweats, headband and –for God’s bloody sake – boxing gloves for a very unflattering pic.
Spontaneous news at its best, folks.
Bottom line – hilarious for all the wrong reasons.
On another general media rule, a note on newspapers and sub-editing. Never, never, ever leave departing staff to their own devices in the print media, or this is what happens.
Well, it is the Opinion Page.
Moving on.
Are you an arctophile?
Remember the old Jewish gag when a Jewish mother is told her son has an Oedipus Complex, she replies ‘Oedipus Shemedipous, as long as he loves his mother’?
A similar joke seem waiting in the wings if you’re an arctophile, that is someone who loves teddy bears. Seems you can now be more than just good friends, and go the whole way, batteries included.
Nothing is sacred anymore, and days of innocence mean nothing if there’s a buck to made.
So a certain Dawn Harmon (no that’s not her, she wishes), who helped introduce Viagra to the US, has come up with an idea that is …well, a bit hard to bear. Some say sick. She has a start-up company called Teddy Love, which aims to make Teddy a gal’s best friend featuring a ‘ten speed’ nose, among other innovations. Ms Harmon’s softly droning, matter-of-fact video featured in this story is unintentionally funny if your taste run to sicko mechanical manipulations, but fair warning, it’s in your face – or your something else.
Gives a whole new meaning to the song’s line ‘If you go down in the woods today ….’ The Pie will never be able to see a Teddy again in the same light.
Well, hello, there, m’dear, care to come and see my etchings?
“I haven’t just got flowers for you, darlin’.
… and ultimately ….
‘Geez, you’re a bloody sex maniac, you nearly squeezed me to death.’
We await the male equivalent. Perhaps a gummy bear?
