That Flood Report: The Townsville Bulletin Says It Asks The Tough Questions We Want Answers To …Well, The Magpie Has A Few For You

Like The Mikado’s Lord High Executioner, The ‘Pie has a little list. About that flood report and what it doesn’t say.

The strange priorities of the Townsville Daily Astonisher (Example #8945) …

The ‘Pie offers Townsville Ratepayers waffler Pete Newey a deal …

The missed opportunity for that Underwater Museum of Art … and The Magpie’s flabber is well and truly gasted by some of the claims being made for it …

The ‘Pie suggests a cunning plan to ensure the TCC fixes potholes in a timely manner.

And looking overseas, our regular visit Trumpsylvania, and not surprisingly, it is dominated by the racist rant that has stirred up the world.

But first …

Drones Approve Drones

The news that the go Queensland cabinet has approved a plan to use drones to police coastal fisheries and detect illegal fishing has been met with some mutterings among the local fishos. Ten drones will be deployed along the coast, including one in based in Townsville, to raise revenue from any naughtiness afloat. But Bentley, a man of the water himself, reckons the inventiveness of local line danglers will come into play … with those rod holders modified for a different role.

Just An idle Thought

In the spirit of what politicians DON’T say is often as important as what they DO say. This came mind with the news during the week of the admirable personal, and disappointing public, decision by Casie Scott to not run against Scott Stewart in next year’s state election.

A narrow loser last time by a handful of disputed votes, the popular and capable Ms Scott was seen as a shoo-in next year, but announced she is a non-starter and was putting her family first at this stage. Understandably, she didn’t want to be spending the majority of her time away in Brisbane, especially as she would quickly become ministerial material in any LNP team on either side of the house. A selfless decision.

Hmmmm …. You’ll remember reported here that Casie’s partner Michael Brennan has given the same valid reason for scotching a contemplated bid for the mayoralty. Some months ago, he pointed out that there couldn’t be two politicians in the family, because the kids in the blended family needed at least one of them always around over the next few years. That was said when Casie was still eyeing the seat of Townsville again.

Now, The ‘Pie knows better than to ask those of a political stripe what their intentions are, because the old saying is that they can’t lie about the intentions, because at the time of any given statement, they are telling the truth. Leaving it open for intentions to change. So The ‘Pie hasn’t bothered to ask Ms Scott an obvious question – with Michael out of the race for sure, and the mayoral job keeping one in town (outside the occasional jolly to India or the States) is Casie Scott going to run for mayor?

The ‘Pie isn’t the only person to think she would romp in if she is. The old bird now awaits the fevered email denials, oh, goodness, dearie me, heavens to Bestsy, NO, NO, NO, well, that’s not my intention etc.

But then again, maybe … just maybe …

There’s A Hole In This Water Bucket

The long awaited report into the operation of the Ross Dam gates during January’s monsoon was released during the week, with St Jenny restored to her pedestal as the admirable Battler’ Boadicea … she did nothing untoward, and according to the government commissioned report, compiled by government officials, made the best of a bad lot. But the ‘experts’ did find who was really at fault … it was US, as The Magpie reported in this comment last Tuesday.

The Magpie 

July 16, 2019 at 9:54 am  (Edit)

So now we know … IT WAS ALL OUR FAULT FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING THE BRILLIANCE OF TCC FLOOD MANAGEMENT.Or so it seems from the Bulletin’s summary of the whitewash report.
QUOTE: ‘It was found however that Townsville residents had low levels of understanding of terms used to describe flood risk, although nearly all ranked their understanding of flood risk as “very high”. Townsville residents, the report found, did not heed flood warnings and evacuation messaging as strongly as cyclone messaging and more education was needed.’UNQUOTE
The inescapable conclusion is that it OUR fault for being dumb hillbillies not understanding flood warnings, AND NOT THE FAULT of the evidently poor communication skills of the TCC Disaster Management geniuses.

But The ‘Pie wasn’t the only one raising an eyebrow with the report, a regular reader was more than a little miffed with it all.The (Mostly) Civil Engineer 

July 16, 2019 at 12:59 pm  (Edit)

The devil in this detailed report is in the original scope as developed by QG. It solely looks at the operation of the dam and specifically excludes all the questions people (such as above) legitimately want answered:
– what happened to the promised flood maps which were released late and in an unreadable format
– why did the much touted “point of truth” dashboard fail at about midday on Sunday and not provide any up to date information to residents
– why were a string of confusing, contradictory and simply wrong texts and voicemails sent out, by whom and why – – “evacuate the Ross River area” was meaningless, produced panic and was just dumb (did it mean get away from the riverbank or evacuate nearby suburbs?)
– where were the flood evacuation processes and mapping (beyond the broad “run for the hills” sketch)
– why was the disaster management committee caught flat-footed when BOM and poor blind Freddy could this days ahead this was getting ugly and rapidly worse
– what happened to disaster coordination during and after the event when most impact seems to have been made by individual heroic efforts rather than any planning on behalf of LDMC or TCC

I could go on, but you get the idea. The report is the worst kind of smokescreen – it picks one area which did not fail and ignores the rest. Kind of like saying it is great that the new toilet water on Boeing 737Max planes does not contaminate the environment when the planes unexpected fall out of the sky and kill people.

And here’;s another interesting but unverified comment which has just landed (Sat night)

Cappuccino in hand 12 approved email hidden; JavaScript is required

Submitted on 2019/07/20 at 10:42 pmFlood report scenario 4 missed one small snippet of info … control of the dam was handed back from SunWater to council 48 hours before the full release because the engineers couldn’t agree on when things should happen. The council has no expertise in dam management. SunWater recommended opening the flood gates 2 hours after the actual time to work with the tide on the night. This would have resulted in a 200ml lowering of the flood level. It would have saved $millions. Of course, people in the know were not consulted for the report. It’s a serious whitewash of events. Council still has no expertise in dam management. Let’s hope for a dry 2019-20.

We can all now reasonably expect that the Astonisher will be asking those questions we want answered, because iditor Jenna Cairney has so publicly promised to do.

Putting Things Underwater Seems To Be A Theme Of This Council

Once upon a time (March 2008), in a newspaper far far away (from what we’ve got now) The Magpie wrote a light-hearted piece about the then TEL CEO Glenys Schuntner. As is the wont all TEL bosses, the amiable Ms Schuntner had been making comment on all manner of things, many of which were hardly the concern of TEL.

So The Magpie asked ‘Can we be far away from Glenyns Schuntner The Cookbook? ‘so generous she was with her opinions. The ‘Pie then suggested that a statute of Ms Schuntner , built in the heroic style favored in the communist Soviet Union be erected over the Bruce Highway at the southern entrance to the city. The statue would have Ms Schuntner’s arms open in welcome, standing astride the highway so motorists would have to drive through her legs to get to town. An unforgettable entrance! At the time, there were stern words to the editor at the time (Mick Carroll) from the Prissy Brigade, because it seemed the only person to enjoy the joke was the likeable Ms Schuntner herself. (The ‘Pie told one irate female caller not to worry, Ms Schunter’s dress would have a modesty panel so that there couldn’t be any up-skirting, to which she replied ‘There’d better not be!.’ The ‘Pie often wonders about his readers.)

The ‘Pie recalls all this because it started him thinking about a 2019 opportunity which seems to have been sadly missed concerning the underwater sculpture park proposed for waters presumably off-shore from the Strand, or Magnetic Island.

We read today that the first of pommy sculptor Jason deClair-Taylor’s works will in fact be a single work of a young indigenous girl dipping her toe in the waters off the pier on the Strand, , and will only be submerged at high tide. The full sunken assembly off the Strand and at John Brewer Reef, or wherever it ends up, will, like the proposed entertainment/convention Centre , come at ‘a later stage’. Whenever that is, the art pieces will encourage the growth of coral, which one hopes will be as spectacular as the colourful claims from local luminaries trying to raise a couple of mill for the venture.

Particularly in the past from Sealink’s Paul Victory, who has claimed variously that: “Jason’s work attracts many, many thousands of visitors. We are talking about tens of thousands of visitors to the region to see the scale of this sort of work.”

One might be led into the error of thinking that the permanently rosy-cheeked Mr Victory was so pleased with this delusional codswallop that he had hit the celebratory turps before a subsequent interview for Ocean Magazine. Because there, he upped the ante spectacularly when he gurgled:“It will bring hundreds of thousands of divers to the region every year based on the popularity of the artist’s existing sites.”

Hundreds of thousands, Mr Victory? Strewth, really.

Well, no, not really, according to Townsville Enterprise CEO Patricia ‘Hot Lips’ O’Callaghan, who was somewhat more modest in her claims. Well, a bit, anyway.

“As a Southern Hemisphere first, the Museum of Underwater Art will also provide a significant economic boost to our region, anticipated to attract an additional 50,000 visitors annually upon completion, with an estimated economic impact of $42M each year.

All this was simply the usual Twaddle of the Day to support an idea that will be a solid but modest addition to our limping, leaderless tourism sector.

Since the idea came up, the basic concept of underwater art has seen the Whitsundays steal a march on Townsville, with an underwater sculpture park by a local artist and featuring oversize sea creatures already dunked and ready for viewing. One is also on the cards for Cairns.

But what a missed opportunity for us!! With a bit of vision, those behind this worthy project should have considered what marketing smarties call ‘POD’ … Point of Difference.

Which Magpie Productions Now Proudly Unveils.

The idea is simply this: instead of paying some over priced pommy poseur an undeserved poultice to sink a few third rate sculptures of anonymous figures into an underwater gallery offshore from the Strand, why not shrug off our famous cultural cringe and get local artisans to create a Townsville-themed underwater gallery exclusively of our own notables. Most of them believe they deserve to immortalised, so why not get a local artisan to knock up a few life size images reflecting our history. The project could feature:

• Mayor Mullet in powder blue spangled leotards, surrounded by a semi-circle of her ten similarly clad councillors, their right arms lifted high in imitation of the mayor’s, as she conducts one of her regular council voting aerobics classes …
• Nearby would be a life size Jamie Durie fashioned in solid gold …
• Mike Capt Snooze Reynolds in his Laz-e-boy recliner, having a nap, as an historical reminder of his contribution to the community … he could be flanked in similar postures of repose by the three current local state Labor local members …
• TEL’s Patricia ‘Hot Lips’ O’Callaghan’s image will feature waterproof lipstick, which changes colour according to the water temperature, (a diver will be employed to change her haute couture frocks three times a day) …
• Airport boss Kevin ‘Rhymes With’ Gill will be seen trying to pick the pocket of a ordinary member of the flying public …
• Tony ‘His Radiance’ Mooney’s image would be fitted with a halo engraved ‘Shepherdson Inquiry’
• … and Les Messagebank Walker would be there simply because he is always out of his depth.

Speaking of Messagebank ….

A couple of readers reported almost doing themselves a vehicular mischief when they were suddenly confronted with this during the week …

Both thought it a bit of a tell tale that Messagebank must be feeling a tad insecure to start campaigning more than 250 days out from when he is likely to get his comeuppance. Les Walker has been notorious for years of avoiding as much as possible any interaction with constituents who may ask him to confront some problem.

But he’s taken a leaf out of the mayor’s book, and is using council money to fund his campaign. You’ll note that the sign has a sort of blackboard area that can be altered, giving the time and place where you may be graced with the presence of the deputy mayor, should you hope to consult with him. This makes the use of TCC money perfectly legitimate in the guise of informing the public where they can go to meet their councillor.

When The ‘Pie checked out the sign, he was amused to see just down the road, another sign which suggested where Walker’s roadside bombast should end up.

A Question

As so often mentioned here, it is nigh on impossible to work out how Jenna Cairney’s journalistic mind works. Saturday’s paper again poses the question.

A likeable, tough Cowboys player announces he is going to retire at the end of the season, and the paper’s hagiography instantly reaches fever pitch, despite it being six weeks before Matt Scott unlaces his boots for good. So important is this imminent departure, the glowing praise covers not only the front page, but page 2, which usually reserved for a $5000 full page advertisement, and continues to take up all of page 3. Definite overkill, but OK, fair enough.

Or is it?

Consider this: the Townsville Bulletin has been very vocal about the possibility that a second Burdekin pipeline MUST BE built in conjunction and simultaneously with the Stage 1 already under construction. The paper’s indignation has been tediously relentless, with careful one-sided reporting of the issue, with all levels of self-interested politicians damning the Federal Government’s expert report which found there is no real economic or financial excuse for the second pipeline right now. Hundreds of column inches and website pages have been devoted to championing this project, which will create 691 construction and 30 permanent vitally needed jobs – incidentally, about the same number that Mayor Jenny Hill had sacked from the council.

So when the victory is won, the Feds agree to a simultaneous build, where is this momentous development, this stellar win for a hurting community, reported?

Bloody page 7. Really, Jenna?

Like The Magpie said, it’s a matter of priorities. Perhaps Jenna Cairney knows her readers better than one likes to think.

Ashton Incensed

 

Linda Ashton, she of the Water For Townsville mob, is justifiably cock-a-hoop with the decision that the second pipeline is to be built in conjunction with the one currently under construction. On this vital issue, she was second only to Jayne Arlett in being first in making Townsville aware of our dire situation.

But she was feeling somewhat unappreciated, not for herself but also for her impressive team of experts who have spent more than three years building a case and lobbying for this outcome. She is particularly – and again justifiably – pissed off with the treatment she has received from blow-in Bulletin iditor Jenna Cairney, to whom Ashton made clear in a letter how she felt. Here’s the whole salvo.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR TSV BULLETIN

Thank you Jenna Cairney for consistent exclusion of WFTAG’s contributions to this vital issue of water infrastructure – virtually since the day of your arrival. Our voice has been MIA in numerous Bulletin articles now. We WERE at the emergency meeting with the JACOBS team. We’ve posted numerous articles on our site (which you monitor). Our invitation was in the press release by George Christensen. We were the only reps to submit a written response to the Business Case (35 pages) at the Roundtable called by Phillip Thompson
He will present this in person to the Deputy Prime Minister.

We were the only reps to raise the issue of Burdekin cane grower groups not having been consulted for the business case. This omission could, with other feedback, cast enough doubt on the rigour of the JACOBS study. If so the government may, despite the business case assumptions, approve the pledged funding for the second pipeline.

We’ve done two and a half years of tireless volunteer technical research and community education, which you dismissed, in writing, as rumour mongering. We’ve submitted numerous factual articles for publication since you first spat the dummy. Not one has been accepted. I’ve emailed you with information to use in articles about yourself (our active journalism). Editorials on water security dried up when you thought the goal had been achieved. Seems (reporter) Madura (McCormack has been given the editorial nod to exclude WFTAG. Is this not blatant censorship?

Thanks however to Tony Raggatt who has faithfully continued communication with our group through the three editorships since our formation. Oh for the days of Damien Tomlinson who met with us and valued our group’s diverse expertise, printing 38 weekly half page articles gratis, to inform a broader audience than our 14,000 on fb.

We knew 8 months ago what was happening politically at all levels of government and freely offered our information when you assumed the $200 million was “home and hosed”. You can lead a horse to water, as another appropriate saying goes ….
Very discourteous. Very unprofessional.

Linda Ashton

Speaking Of Fairness

The ‘Pie doesn’t want to start some dreary precedent of sports rants on this site, but he does have a simple question about the World Cup Cricket final last Sunday … if the victory comes down to any sort of count back … in this case fours and sixes … why not the simplest count-back of who still had the most wickets standing at the end of 50 overs.? The Kiwis would’ve won by being eight down, the Poms all out, both after 50 overs. And common sense would dictate that under this fair system, as the match progressed into the final overs, both sides … and the crowd … would know the equation and make matters far more exciting. And less farcical.

Going Potty About Potholes

Townsville’s always had a running battle with pot holes it seems.

Back in 1983, a Townsville woman became a worldwide media star long before the internet, when she imaginatively took the council to task over neglected potholes (Mike Reynolds was the negligent mayor at the time. Now that’s a surprise.)

And it’s been an issue ever since. So maybe The ‘Pie can has an idea to put a bit of zip in to getting our roads into acceptable shape more quickly after rains. The idea is not so much lateral thinking as horizontal thinking … simply use the potholes as part of a graffiti campaign.

Yup, draw penis around the pot holes. If this example was widely adopted, Jenny’s blue rinse supporters would be so outraged, they’d put the heat on her to speed things up. And The ‘Pie suggests if that doesn’t work, he knows what will … if some budding artist finds potholes suitable to illustrate the female pudenda, you can bet matters would be put to rights without a moment’s dicking around.

The Magpie Offers A Deal To Peter Newey

The ‘Pie notes that the increasingly sad little echo chamber that is the TRRA website, continues to sink into irrelevance as Conspiracy Central. He wouldn’t have been the least surprised if Pete Newey had this weekend posted the ‘truth’ that the moon landing never took place.

Maybe he did, The ‘Pie has rarely visits there, let’s face it, there is only so much time in this life for more productive pursuits to take the old bird’s priority – like wondering whether Harvey Spectre will end up in the cot with Donna Paulsen in the final season of Suits. Or why Vegemite is superior to Marmite.

However, The Magpie has been informed that poor old Pete Newey has had a bit of a foam flecked and highly inaccurate rant about this old bird.

So enough is enough, and The ‘Pie wants to sue for peace with Mr Newey. So he proposes the following:

Pete, if you stop telling lies about The Magpie, The Magpie will stop telling the truth about you.

Overseas Now And Seems The World Is On The Brink Of Boris

Seems Britain is about to get what amounts to Donald Trump Lite … the pommy Tories face a Hobson’s choice for leader and PM; on the one hand, disaster, on the other catastrophe and chaos We’ll know the awful truth within hours whether arch buffoon and public school prat Boris Johnson is the new British PM.

The mood in the Old Dart is neatly summed up the subtlety of this Ben Jennings effort in the Guardian … hint: check the bottom of the curtain on the left.

Across The Pond, One Topic Dominates This Week

The irony of the week, the decade, perhaps of the last century is that the leader of Germany has outright condemned the fascist and racist comments made by Donald Trump this week. And in 2019, it is America that has the concentration camps. The Trump trope of suggesting some female politicians should ‘go back where they came from’ and that they came from shitty crime ridden dictatorships has created howls of outrage from across the spectrum and acropss the world. The bitter joke is that Trump is right: one woman came as a youngster from The Sudan … and the other three come from one of the most shitty countries on earth at the moment … they were born in  America. Is this pivotal issue that leads to the end of the Trump hegemony? Don’t count on it.

Math Question Of The Week.

The ‘Pie can be a cruel bugger at times … he sent the following to the Astonisher journos a few days ago, and they’re still trying to get the solution.

And finally …

While Townsville awaits the presence of Rocket Man Reg Dwight, up in Thailand, they have rocket men who put on an even more sparkling display than Elton. Don’t try this in your backyard.

……………….

Another week gone, hope you had a bit of fun with all this. And being that time of year when annual bills fall due, any appreciation you can offer in the way of a donation will be of great assistance, the donate button is below.