Team Hill v Team Arlett: The ‘Pie’s Call of the Card

Jenny Hill and Jayne Arlett will have one thing in common over the next four years – Jayne will have only herself to blame for what looks like being a sweeping loss, and, unless an dependents hold the balance of power (a possibility) Jenny will have no one to blame but herself for the blunders and missteps she always dishonestly home to Townsville First.

None of which is going to be any good for Townsville. The ‘Pie takes a punt as the polls are closing, to allow you folks the opportunity to pour scorn on the old bird’s head for his predictions.

Also this week, the first of our elections out of the way, Bentley turns an acid eye to Double D Day – are we facing another election?

… and bentley will make you titter with his Double D talk.

But First, A Voice For The Voiceless

Just so you know. here is a petition you can sign if you like. The ‘Pie publishes it without urging anyone to sign it, indeed, you may well not agree. BUT AT LEAST IT GIVES YOU A CHOICE, SINCE THE BULLETIN WON’T PUBLISH THE AVALANCHE OF PROTEST IT HAS RECEIVED ON THIS ISSUE.

One Election Down, One To Go

When Bentley started talking about doing a double D ‘toon for this week, The Magpie almost went pink with mistaken anticipation . The old bird has always been an aficionado of double D’s since he was a teenager, and visions splendid flooded the darker recesses of his drooling mind, like ….

… which then were filled, like this …

… and then, and then …

But enough now, already!!!

But it wasn’t to be . Bentley had his eye on Canberra, and although our national capital is home to some of the biggest tits in the land (they’re called MPs), it had nothing to do with happy mammaries.

It looks like Malcolm Talkbull has the conditions for the Double D he was seeking … err, that would be double dissolution. New legislation is being passed ensuring we won’t accidentally – or deliberately – get the likes of Ricky Muir, idiotic Glenn Lazarus or Jacquie Lambie and the one percent gang again. But Bentley reckons the focus of any election will be on the Government coalition itself, and how a certain former PM could become Labor’s best weapon.

Even the inimitable Larry Pickering returned to a favourite scenario to see the crux of the matter.

But To The More Pressing Election Of The Moment

The ‘Pie has deliberately left his call of the card on the Townsville Council election until after polls have closed, because he knows how influential this incisive, intelligent, well researched and carefully slub-edited blog is, and he didn’t want to have undue influence over the 374,829 weekly readers he has. (The ‘Pie has just employed emma, News Ltd’s Enhanced Media Metrics Australia mob to do his readership surveys – she’s fabulous).

But just for the fun of it, he is happy to make himself this week’s Aunt Sally and let you buggers have your merry way with him in comments … if he’s wrong. So here goes.

 The Mayoralty

If Jayne Arlett fails in her bid to become Townsville Mayor, it will not be because Jenny Hill won it, it will be because Jayne Arlett lost it.

Whoever ran her campaign should not consider putting it on their CV, unless the job they’re applying for features requirements like ‘inept’, ‘unaware’, ‘politically clueless about timing’ and ‘waste of space’.

But the variable that Arlett is hoping will work in her favour is a genuine sentiment for change. Jenny represents old style politics, but whether the punters buy the idea that Jayne is the great light of the future is the key question.

Arlett has – for reasons best not broached just now – kept her best for the last few days of the campaign, hitting Hill’s vulnerabilities hard and effectively BUT all way too late. She has clearly been comprehensively out-politicked, so ….

Prediction:

… Townsville will be blighted with a snippy, self-absorbed, politically dishonest economically illiterate and ineffective mayor for the next four years. But this time, she might not have anyone else to try to blame but herself.

A big PS: but there is an outside chance that an independent might have the balance of power.

Division 1:

This a real toss-up because of boundary redistribution, and Arlett candidate Tony Parsons swapping divisions with fellow Arlett candidate Sue Blom. Parsons is up against the local government experience of Margie Ryder, of Team Hill who by all reports has been campaigning hard in this her first outing in Townsville. Parsons was a leading member of the Townsville First team, which has held sway in Walker Street over the last term. The general consensus seems to be that the switch of divisions and the hard campaigning (some say too hard) by Ryder will make it a close run thing. Last time out, Parsons easily beat three clodhopping opponents comfortably, but that isn’t much use as an indicator because of the boundary changes.

Prediction: A mystery division in 2016, so will suggest whoever wins will do so by the slimmest of margins.

Division2:

This seems somewhat more clear cut, despite the boundary change. It is a straight head-to-head between incumbent councilor and Team Arlett member Sue Blom and long-standing ALP member (running as an – ahem – independent) Paul Jacob. Blom is generally well liked, and is known to have got on reasonably well with Mayor Mullet, whereas Jacob is a publicity hound with a sometimes abrasive nature. Being a founder of the sox’n’sandals morning tea crowd The Townsville Ratbags Association (the cream for the scones isn’t the only thing clotted around there) also hasn’t been a thing to recommend him. Word is that Jenny reluctantly put him on her team because he has a good chance of losing – thus nipping in the bud any tensions from Hill Team councillor Colleen Doyle, who is known to detest Jacob.

Prediction:

Blom fairly easily. (Boy, The ‘Pie likes leading with his chin, eh?)

Division 3:

The ‘Pie reckons this is the most crucial division, because a win for Vern Veitch will be a blow to the Arlett camp, who refused to put him on the team. The deputy mayor is the type of person about whom no one is indifferent … you love him or you hate him, But Veitch is very much his own man and is a true independent this time around, refusing to accept any preference deal (both sides made approaches). Accountant Gerry Maguire doesn’t appear to have been very active on the campaign, but is generally well liked and respected in the North Ward/Belgian Gardens area Whether that translates into votes one will just have wait and see, but Hill candidates Ann-Maree Greaney has been lustily banging on doors to bang the drum for her team. (She was trounced last time around but that was elsewhere – see division 6).

In the wash up, it stands to reason that a possibly significant percentage of those who vote for either of team candidates will give a preference vote, and logically that could only go to Vern Veitch

Prediction:

Veitch home on preferences.

Division 4:

This is the sort of match-up that makes elections fun. Hill candidate Mark Molochino looked to be a shoo in, and could’ve sauntered over the line against the ineffective campaigning of respected local business man Marcel McLeod (so ineffective, they say, he’s started to be called Marcel Marceau, after the great French mime artist).

But then up bobbed Joanne Keune, who despite her continuing ALP membership, was free to run because the Hill team isn’t an official Labor line-up.

She has been running what The ‘Pie has described as an energetic ‘whack-a-hamster’ campaign, bobbing up here, there and everywhere, and effectively highlighting local issues (most of which the Bulletin’s tepid stories about the division have managed to ignore).

Only time will tell if she made the right tactical (if unethical for an independent) decision to swap preferences with Molochino. With McLeod and the amusingly dippy Guy Reece unlikely to make any crucial impact, we have the strange situation that whoever loses between Keune and Molochino will be defeated by their own preferences. Either way, if Jenny Hill prevails in the mayoral race, she will have a sympathetic councilor in her camp.

Prediction:

Keune on preferences.

Division 5:

Non-aligned sparky Craig Leonard makes this an interesting choice for voters. A maverick who doesn’t talk rubbish (well, no more than any other candidate, although Guy Reece holds the Blue Riband for that honour), but with a seemingly small breadth of issues, he could be pivotal in pulling votes away from both Arlett’s likeable ex-copper Janelle Poole (‘Who’s this Dickless Tracey?” Mongrel the Barrister recently inquired), and Russ Cook for the Hill Team. Bit of a lucky dip but …

Prediction:

Poole, probably comfortably.

Division 6:

Trevor ‘Tonsils’ Roberts galloped away with this divvy last time, racking up 52% of the primary in a three cornered race. (Interestingly, one of the ones he trounced was Ann Maree Greaney, who is up against Vern Veitch this time).  A straight two-horse race , and The ‘Pie knows not of any impact, or lack of, by Hill’s candidate Verena Coombe. But unless some of the dishonest mud the mayor has been slinging about Townsville First sticks, Roberts is the pea, as they say.

Prediction:

Roberts – easily.

appointed deputy mayor if Hill prevails. He certainly has cleaned up his act, but his publicity drive has with few exceptions involved posed photographs on matters well outside his division (that’s a niceity that has never bothered the Bulletin). Still, rumours persist about a lazy approach to constituents complaints, so …

Division7:

The copper against the fireman. Kurt Rebheim carries the flag for Team Hill, and is said to be well liked and respected in the area. But, hey this is politics, and Gary Eddiehausen seems to have done a solid job over the past term. Incumbency in this case looks to be an advantage.

Prediction:

Eddiehausen should win without too much trouble.

Division 8:

Murray Soars was a last minute ring-in when Jenny’s choice, a Labor activist, got cold feet. Soars is known a bit in the sporting world, but whether that translates into actual votes is in doubt. No matter, all to no avail to The Magpie’s mind, the peripatetic Ray Gartrell would seem to be the shortest priced fav in all the races.

Prediction:

Ray Gartrell by a country mile. Sticking the chin out a little further (gawd, you lot are gunna have fun tomorrow) The ‘Pie will posit that old Haystack will rack up the biggest margin of the entire field.

Division 9:

Incumbent councillor Hill adherent Colleen Boo Hoo Doyle will have no reason be known by her nickname tomorrow (she once melted into tears in a council committee meeting). Artlett’s pick, Muriel Bin Dol has a solid track record in community, sporting and indigenous arenas, but can’t see her matching it with the woman who easily overcame two other candidates last time, to win by 44% of the vote – it would’ve been more if independent Brett Judge hadn’t grabbed a respectable 34%, which left long serving (and suffering) Labor footslogger Paul Fletcher floundering back on 21%. But that was then …

Prediction:

Doyle, and to the extent she could be up there vying for the biggest margin in this election.

Division 10:

Now this really is interesting. Les Messagebank Walker, wo has a reputation laziest and most self-interested councilor of recent years, got one of the biggest wake-up calls of 2012 when he was within a gnat’s whisker of being rolled by political neophyte Donna Marano – she managed 4,331 votes and 49.58% to Les’s 4,405 votes and 50.42%. Ms Marano declined to run this time, and the Turf Club’s Michael Charge has saddled up for Arlett. Calling this one is a toughie, because Les’s friend and nearby neighbor Dolan Hayes has no doubt whispered in his shell-pink until it turned bright red to spruce up his act. He has incentive all right, because if he can beat off challenge from the personable Charge, Messagebank will take the big step of getting closer to the top job by being

Prediction:

Too close to call, but history indicates Charge is in with a big chance.

Having said all that, The ‘Pie is no going to hide under a blanket somewhere until the laughter dies down.

That Might Be A Good Idea For Some At The Astonisher, Too.

You know, it’s not that they’re stupid … it is that they just don’t care. Here’s their latest sloppy up-yours to readers, from comments during the week.

This from comments.

Kingswood

March 14, 2016 at 6:31 am  (Edit)

Oh dear, there’s a TB article on the web entitled ‘Paranormal activity investigated in Townsville’ ….. Looks like a malevolent spirit has been at work in the editing as although the lady declines to give her surname for the interview, it’s unhelpfully appeared in the photo caption.

Who wishes not to give her surname?

Reply

• The Magpie

March 14, 2016 at 8:54 am  (Edit)

Poor old Karina Looby, not really joining the dots, are you, love? Not only trying to hide your surname but somehow happy to pose for your easily identifiable pic. And that slip-up in the caption … could it be a double whammy and another Astonisher cock-up, and your real name is Loopy.
Would be apt, as it would be for a paper that prints this sort of glop as news.

The Magpie

But they didn’t seem to learn anything from that, for this is what we got the next day.

March 15, 2016 at 9:38 am  (Edit)

The Astonisher does it again!

Somebody really needs to get the photographers and the journos (subs actually) to have a group hug and a little bonding session. After printing the name of a woman who wanted to remain anonymous yesterday, today, the venerable John Anderson is subject to this similar idiocy.

The caption of this photograph says it was taken last December.

And now, contemplate this (correct) line in Ando’s story.

‘The dam had not spilt over the wall since 2014′.

They just don’t care, do they?

Finally, a couple on the intended comic side of life.

This might have some resonance for journos at The Astonisher.

OK, commenters, now let the shit and derision start.

And don ‘t forget, if you enjoyed this opportunity to make merry fun of The Magpie, help him get over his shame with a donation, so he can continue making himself a weekly target. The How To Donate button is below.