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The Magpie

Sunday, August 5th, 2018   |   77 comments

SLAPP Down: Legal Bully Barry Taylor Gets A Long Overdue Judicial Kick In The Balls

Yep, our favorite legal foghorn suddenly got laryngitis in the Supreme Court this week, making an embarrassing back pedal from a looming trial over his eye-watering fees. He was forced to retreat to a private settlement to avoid a possible censure from the judge for fraud and misrepresentation. The Magpie oh-so-reluctantly reports.

Also, our hero Mayor Mullet, revs up her re-election campaign, again using ratepayer money in the guise of a public information announcements and stunts. Of course we will have to wait until March 2020 to find out if she is justified in believing we really are all dumb fucking idiots.

And from cunning to karma: Clive Novichok Palmer’s week.

And another pictorial gallery of Comrade Trump’s Week.

But first …

Nippers And Chompers

Lifesavers in Queensland are doing an extra good job of late saving lives … saving their own. Lifesaver numbers are down dramatically, and it’s all being blamed on the humble but hungry crocodile. Potential junior lifesavers in North Queensland – club nippers, as they are known – are finding other things to do, as nervous parents look for safer childhood pursuits.


Croc numbers right across the Top End, including the coastal strip from Mackay north to the Cape, have shown a spectacular increase in recent years, and the admittedly relative few fatalities and attacks serve to resonate and amplify a natural human dread of the creatures, more so even than that engendered sharks or certain lawyers. (A horror story on the latter shortly).

The ‘Pie will leave it to others to debate the proper course of action in this matter, but Bentley doesn’t blame the reluctance of folks to become lifesavers, he reckons otherwise the result is inevitable.

croc cull fin small

Just like the popular lolly, human lifesavers could end up with a whole in the middle and be crunched until swallowed.

It’s Been A Big Week For Karma

As reported in the Nest last week, well loved solicitor Big Bazza Taylor was in a touch of strife in the Supreme Court in Rockhampton. Known to some as the scrub bull because of his enthusiastic charging … Bazza has always believed that there isn’t a stone on this planet he couldn’t get blood out of … he was being challenged by a Ravenswood grazing couple over the amount he slugged them for his unsuccessful representation of them to a mining company seeking part of their property for a mining lease.

Big Bazza Taylor

Big Bazza Taylor

You’ll recall as reported last week that Taylor enticed Tony and June Hood to engage him to confront Carpentaria Gold’s effort to get the lease renewed, but it turned out his estimate of what it would cost could possibly rank as the under-quote of the century. And it was this quote that was pivotal to the Hood’s claim. This from the court hearing in Rockhampton .

Screen shot 2018-07-28 at 9.39.08 AMScreen shot 2018-07-28 at 9.49.04 AM

The judge in Rockhampton gave the parties were a few days to sort out some administrative matters, and return to hear the judge’s take on the issue, and if the matter was to proceed to trial. This they did on Tuesday, but before anything could happen, Emanate Legal withdraw and said they would settle the matter out of court.

So, a bit of background. In the arcane world of the law, there is something known as a SLAPP action. The term originated in thre USA – where else? – and stands for Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation, where cashed up organisations use their money to stifle opposition with drawn-out and ruinously expensive nit-picking litigation . Think Gunns logging people who sued environmental protestors in Tasmania, the Hindmarsh Bridge ‘woman’s business’ in South Australia, and closer to home, development on Hinchinbrook Island. While this matter does not involve big business, government departments  or the public as such, the principal of using the weight of money and oppressive demands in the pre-trial process – which all cost a small fortune – is the same. This SLAPP principal appears to be a favourite bully boy tactic much employed by Taylor (The Magpie himself has been subject to this strategy by Taylor, which has proved fruitless through the efforts of more ethical people in the legal fraternity).

Vanesa Gleeson

Vanesa Gleeson

The matter before the Supreme court sitting in Rockhampton was based on SLAPP, with Emanate solicitor Vanesa Gleeson seeking expensive delays and hearings in the hope that the Hoods would fold and just forget about it.

Justice Graeme Crow SC

Justice Graeme Crow QC

But Justice Graeme Crow QC, who came to the bench in February this year with a reputation of zero tolerance for even a sniff of malpractice and unethical legal behaviour, was having none of it, and told Gleeson so in crisp judicial language. There was much circumlocution (the law loves sentences containing triple negatives), but the message was clear enough.

The ‘Pie rckons it was then that Bazza knew he had his tits caught in the wringer, and Gleeson had over-reached herself in the wrong tribunal, so he promptly arranged for the matter to be settled out of court. Details of such settlement are almost always blanketed in non-disclosure agreements, but any reading of the rapid settlement means Bazza lost out big time. And Emanate Legal would have to repay a substantial amount – maybe even everything – to the Hoods.

Why would The Magpie risk reaching this conclusion without any visible information?

Because it is a reasonable assumption simply because if he proceeded, Taylor ran the very real risk of being named from the bench as a fraud who had misrepresented himself and his claimed ‘winning ways’ to the Hoods and had charged them well beyond what was right and reasonable. And cost them in the end six times what he estimated the whole matter would set them back. And that would be a hammer blow – possibly terminal – to his nice little earner in the legal profession.

So seems that Barry Taylor and Vanesa Gleeson have had their sorry arsesd well and truly SLAPPed.

And, given the glee that all this was greeted with in the Townsville legal community, high time too, Bazza.

Mayor Mullet Marches On To … ummm … Victory?

 adele and jenny

Not satisfied with an obsequious Townsville Bulletin, Mayor Mullet has started a canny re-election campaign … funded by you, the ratepayers of our fair city.

It seems that next week, we are going to be treated a display of a couple of sections of the new water pipeline planned from the Burdekin Dam to the Ross Dam. There will be a photo op featuring, The ‘Pie is told, Johnathan Thurston standing in it. Presumably as a measure of its actual size, because apparently we cannot imagine a 1800mm pipe for ourselves. If we actually wanted to. Why we would want to is a mystery, but you can bet Mayor Mullet will be in the mix somewhere.

The ‘Pie is reliably told that the council has leased an empty space where Playtime used to be in the CBD to display one of the sections. And here’s the rub of all that.

Let’s ponder some supplied info.:

*$10,000 is the approximate cost to build and high polish one stainless steel cradle to display a plastic pipe at “Smiles” stadium, where the display is planned for the match against the Broncos next weekend. (Aug 9)

*The two samples would have travelled up from SA in wooden cradles. Each subsequent move requires pickup, transport and install to new display site, min – 4 hrs x2 crew overtime plus possible crane hire and/or large forklift plus possible traffic control.

*They are 2.8m lengths and a tonne or so each without adding the cradle weight. Maybe they brought two in case one broke?

And it is you, sweet readers, who are the ones paying for all this. But the question is why. It’s all been decided, and we can’t be expected to get all warm and moist over what amounts to … well, amounts to … a length of bloody pipe. And what if people don’t like it, will the council have a rethink? Yeah, right.


The Greeny environmentalists must be tearing up their pink bib’n’brace overalls in despair.

But seriously, we need to be told warranty details and whether ratepayers can expect any bills down the track if a delivery company, installation contractor or the supplier goes belly up. Are we as a city exposed?

An even more obvious question is: it’s a done deal, even if against best advice, and done in secret, so why does it need a public relations campaign?

The Water For Townsville mob agree somewhat colourfully that it is a strange and wasteful way to spend ratepayers money.

pipeline and jt

But then, Linda Ashton isn’t up for re-election as mayor of a community sick of secret deals and staff stacking (and sacking).

So What’s It Really All About

Allow The ‘Pie to enlighten you about the necessity for this criminal waste of public funds. After having been dragged screaming into the pipeline issue, Mayor Mullet has played smart politics, and seems to have ensured that those she thinks deserving get the gig – for whatever reason only she knows, and The ‘Pie is sure she doesn’t want this looked at too closely. She has taken control of an issue she didn’t want in the first place, played a sneaky game with the Water For Townsville mob and no longer talks to them, they’ve been sidelined. So it’s all Mayor Mullet, the Jen of Arc of this community, delivering something she didn’t even have on her radar until Jayne Arlett – on David Crisafulli’s advice – ran for mayor on the issue of a water crisis.

So this is, pure and simple, a re-election campaign stunt.

Spending public money on PR in this way should surely attract the attention of the appropriate authorities … oh, what’s that? Oh, yeah, sorry, forgot, we’re in Queensland aren’t we, gosh that moonlight is bright.

But Wait, That’s Not All, There’s More … And It Ain’t Steak Knives

Remember that panicked and ill conceived ‘Basic Blitz’ bullshit. That was an asinine response when Mayor Mullet first realized just how deep she was in the shit. It amounted to boasting about doing the minimum she was elected to do anyway, the old dictum of rates, roads and rubbish. Well, looks like she figured that worked, and decided it was a ploy worth another try. This from a regular commenter during the week.

Cantankerous but happy

email hidden; JavaScript is required

Submitted on 2018/08/02 at 9:56 am

Whilst waiting for my bags to come off at the airport I noticed the new digital advertising above the baggage carousels, much to my surprise was multiple ads from the TCC about seniors week Aug 21-26, questionable value in that, but then the clanger, TCC spending “ $41million on parks and open spaces” . What a disgraceful waste of ratepayers money obviously done in a deal with co executive Numbskull Gill at TEL. There is zero value for the ratepayers of Townsville for these ads, once again the gilded few circulating money amongst themselves, Bjelke Peterson was an amateur compared to these low life’s.

Indeed, and one has ask where is the logic in a stranger – tourist or business person – arriving to information about what the local council is spending on such basic things as parks and open spaces. The message seems to say ‘we are lacking in these things, but don’t worry, the council is on the job, and your stay will be all the more enjoyable … eventually.’ And since we are so low on tourist numbers, these ads are clearly campaign ads for the current mayor and council to be re-elected.

Chickens, your roost is ready for you to come home.

Front Page of the Week


Bazza Taylor must sympathise.

But Palmer’s underlying Trump-like callous disregard for ordinary folks is becoming legendary. They are just pawns to be used before being discarded as he continues on his merry money making way.

During the past week, he made a thinly veiled argument that the Port of Townsville was responsible for blocking him employing hundreds of people and  was blocking him from starting up Yabulu again, so it’s all their fault, nothing to do with him not paying his bills. Former employees and job hire firms received this in email in the past few days.

—- Original Message ——
From: “Yabulu HR” <email hidden; JavaScript is required>
To: “DL_External_Contact” <email hidden; JavaScript is required>
Sent: Monday, 30 Jul, 2018 At 6:25 PM
Subject: IMPORTANT EMPLOYMENT MESSAGE from the Queensland Nickel Refinery Joint Venture regarding future employment

To our past Queensland Nickel employees and interested people who provided us with a hand written expression of interest form in 2016. We expect to be recruiting staff for the restart of the  refinery in the near future once we confirm that our access to berth 2 at the Port has been retained. Clive Palmer has recently stated that this access will trigger the employment of 100 workers straight away, with another 100 to be employed by Christmas 2018.  The workforce will then be increased into 2019 to meet our restart requirements. Should you still be interested in a job at the Refinery, please complete the electronic expression of interest form available on our website at the link below. This information  will automatically load into a spreadsheet that will be used to select the skills required for the restart.


As the old Aussie joke has it, Palmer is not circumcised, because there’s no end to the prick.

In Passing:

The ‘Pie hears that after all, we are going to get a fresh water lagoon on the Strand. The old bird’s Brisbane spies say we can expect an announcement soon, but probably not from the mayor, but the premier instead. And why not, she’ll be the one stumping up the dough. But Jenny will be on the coat tails quickly enough.


A random thought:

The ‘Pie sees a problem with Scott Morrison’s long overdue pledge to scrap the highly discriminatory tampon tax. You can bet thre’ll be strings attached.

It Was Inevitable

Well, this week, The Astonisher put us out of our seething excitement and gave us the story we really wanted … Townsville Ten Most Popular Manicurists. You nailed it, Astonisher.

But the essential information didn’t stop there. We had …

Screen shot 2018-08-03 at 8.57.25 AMShould one assume that the restaurant closed when customers were in the middle of a lively Scottish dance of joy? They surely can’t have meant reeling as in

  • ‘feeling very giddy, disoriented, or bewildered, typically as a result of an unexpected setback’

If that was the case, it was probably something they ate, so just as well it closed.

But all in all, a bad week for local gastronomes.

fish and chips close

WTF? This is news? Anyway, nice to see that the Astonisher has reduced it’s time frame of printing news, catching up with this jaw dropper after several weeks of it being closed.

News? Frankly, this is weird.

One For Collective Noun Enthusiasts

 Jenny's council

The ‘Pie has always been fascinated by collective nouns – his fav is a Parliament of cheetahs … it figures whichever way you spell it. But what do you call a collection of councillors, I mean a printable term? Try a quockerwodger of councillors.

The excellent and endlessly fascinating Haggard Hawks word site tells us

The term quockerwodger, although referring to a wooden toy figure which jerks its limbs about when pulled by a string, has been supplemented with a political meaning. A pseudo-politician, one whose strings of action are pulled by somebody else, is now often termed a quockerwodger.:

And Now Trump’s Week And Associated Issues In Pictures

The Yanks have always been great ones for the dark humour of euphemisms … ‘wet work’ for CIA assassination, when targets have their ‘contracts terminated with extreme prejudice’ and ‘daist cutter’ for a devastatingly cruel bomb that denoates a few feet above the ground, flattening a forest and everything in it for a 500 metre radius.

But it has taken the Donald Trump to become the all time champ of sick humour. His policy-on-the-run decision to separate children of illegal immigrants from their parents  has resulted that now the bureaucrats now can’t obey a court order to reunite them because the government officials don’t know where they put many of the children.

This created a whole new class of bureaucratic record keeping, which the Trump administration now calls Deleted Family Units.

Trump credibility

Trump fool the peopleTrump dealsTrump cockroach

Trump Giuliani

Trump secret agentTrump enemies……….

That it for another week, keep an eye on comments, you’ll hear of things there first that you probably will never see in the Astonisher or see on TV. Invaluable stuff which is yours for free, unless of course, you would like to help the blog along with a few bob to cover some upcoming registration costs, hoped-for software and subscriptions to info sites … the donate button is just below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Spooka says:

    Shame Taylor’s trademark reptilian behaviour has avoided further exposure. he’s managed to parachute out of the snake’s arse again.

  2. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Pie, you rightly ask the question “But seriously, we need to be told warranty details and whether ratepayers can expect any bills down the track if a delivery company, installation contractor or the supplier goes belly up. Are we as a city exposed?” but equally as important, we don’t know how much these pipes cost us. Council website on Contracts awarded tell us the Engineering from Pemise, GHD and SMEC will cost just over $6 million but the pipe supply contract, awarded on the 24 April is listed as a schedule of rates. This is a contract that I would guess is north of $40 to $50 million. A schedule of rates can be used to cover up all sorts of stuff ups over runs etc. Why hide it?

    • The Magpie says:

      Good question for the CCC to ask.

      • Cajun says:

        Scuttlebutt in knowing circles is that once the powers-that-be are finished with Ipswich, they are turning their guns on Logan and Townsville. I have my fingers crossed! I, for one, am very tired of the feather-nesting going on in all levels of politics … I fear I have reached that older and grumpy stage of life, luckily I have your regular readers to keep me in good company!

    • Achilles says:

      These very reasonable concerns should be covered by a bank guarentee, that is the norm in the real world. But if they use the confidential in contract get out of jail card how are we to know if this requirement is mandated in the T and C?

    • Dave Nth says:

      Have done contracts under a GHD banner. Pay very well but charge out like a wounded bull…

      In Cairns atm, IMO if Townsville could learn something from them but more to follow on these observations…

  3. Miss Lou says:

    Always exceptional,
    Always entertaining.

    Yours Faithfully,

    Miss Lou

  4. Pat Coleman says:

    The Pure Projects lagoon is about reclamation of the marine park and units for the developer’s . Because it’s so out there to say its about a place to swim, so legally and environmentally stupid , THERE JUST HAD TO BE MONEY CHANGING HANDS IN A GOOD OLD FASHIONED WHITE SHOE BRIGADE BRIBE ! I found that money. Following the pattern of the pipeline tenders , the minsters override of the Gladstone councils rejection of Eaton Place’s Hummock Hill Island development down south – ,Pure Projects Don Morris whose own lobbying firm Tourism Think Tank represents Eaton Place hired former labor minister Cameron Milner’s firm called Next Level. The lobbyists name their price then drip feed that money to both sides. Go to http://democracyforsale.net/search-aec/ and type “next” , you will see this stout labor mans firm donates to the libs under that name which is the federal decisions covered. Type in “Milner” and he uses that name to cover state. Repeat the search at https://disclosures.ecq.qld.gov.au/Map . That’s the so called lagoon money . Eaton Place is also represented by govstrat , http://www.integrity.qld.gov.au takes you to the lobbyist registers , repeat the donor searches , lotsa recent brown paper bags . There IS a pattern of behaviour. And horror of horrors, though retrospective, the minster hasn’t got the developer donor ban proclaimed into law yet . What a fucken mess !

  5. Cajun says:

    Strand lagoon: Messagebank was heard to comment, in a local shopping centre, a few weeks ago that the designers wanted a 5 metre wall around the outside to prevent sea incursion, but the TCC said not happening – that would destroy the ambience of the place – coincidentally being the same height as the old rock walls we knew and loved so well. At the time I wondered about the integrity of the no stinger, no crocs, no sharks claim … well, I was pretty sure the sharks wouldn’t wash or climb in. But sea into a fresh water environment, that will be an expensive salt balancing nightmare! Has anyone held a genuine public consultation about whether Townsville rate payers and residents actually want a lagoon on the Strand? Ha ha, chortle chortle, of course it is not necessary …. nanny knows best!

    • Concerned says:

      Good point about community consulatation, but this council would only listen to the noisy minority, just look at the possible development of 4 beautiful Townsville Locations, The Strand, Maggie Island, Pallarenda, and Kissing Point.
      Can you imagine how good a top class 15 story appartment / hotel (and incorporating dining , food and family space) would be sitting on top of Kissing point, and the hills behind Pallarenda developed with residential and commercial land, Development of some of the bays in Maggie, and have limited sites identified on strand (the vacant eye sorr next to Seaview would be a start) which would allow developers to build more than the pathetic 4 or 5 stories or what ever it is.
      What smart developer is going to come to Townsville when they can go to some where like Cairns, or the Whitsundays where they get sense from the council and can actually build multiple story complexes without all the bulshit which comes from a pathetic council which listens to the noisy any developmemt minority.

      • The Magpie says:

        All interesting but highly debatable points, oh furrowed brow, especially placing public land for recreation and relaxation into private hands that can fence it off to the public. But as The ‘Pie was driving through North Ward along Mitchell Street (one back from the Strand, it occurred to him that a graded zoning on heights might work … with the highest furthest back so visitors and residents get views all the way down to the water. Of course, there would be somewhat justified howls of outrage from the lower slopes of Castle Hill, but hey, they’re just rich self-interested whinging bastards, not like the folks you champion, humble, philanthropic, community minded developers.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Spot on Concerned, whilst the value of Kissing point for all to enjoy is imporatnt there is no reason why the land off Cook St running through to behind the museum facing north could have been sold to developers for a real quality project, hotel, units etc, the boardwalk could still have been kept ensuring access through the area. The same debate happened in Cairns years ago where the Pier stands today through to the Harbour Lights, as a former member of the Cairns Game Fishing club it was sad to see the old joint go but what has been built there has been a great addition to the Cairns economy and to the city itself over many years, we really have to pull our heads out of our arses in Townsville and start providing quality development in quality areas, and that doesn’t mean out next to the mud and mangroves on the creek.

        • Grumpy says:

          Many fond memories of extended lunches in the Game Fishing Club under the beady eye of Mr Marvin. Was a member of an Association of Gentlemen, called the Sampson Club – to obtain membership, you had to have been married and divorced at least once and not currently married (live-ins OK)

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            The Sampson Club sounds like the sort of club I would have been able to join, but then I would have had to leave, but then I could have joined again, but then I would have had to leave.

          • Grumpy says:

            We probably would have given you associate membership. And lots of sympathy.

            I bought a boat for myself to celebrate my last marriage. Bride objected to me calling it “Third Time Lucky”.

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie reckons blokes who’ve gone through multiple partners AND have access to boats 24/7 could attract Mr Plod’s close scrutiny.

  6. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Fresh water lagoon! Next to a perfectly good ocean? I hope it will be filled with re cycled water from the shit farm, ‘cos they shouldn’t be using water from the dam! Or is water wise for the plebs and not the council?

  7. Roseneath Red says:

    The gleaming stainless steel cradle and pi(k)pe will make an impressive tribute to Jen of Arc along side a Bronze JT.

  8. Pat Coleman says:

    Magpie mentioned the legal business SLAPPS with Port Hinchinbrook and the fight against the late Kieth Williams. He would threaten SLAPPS on everyone including academics . Type Williams into http://democracyforsale.net/search-aec/ type “sea , island , leisure , coast , beach , hotel , development , plante (for the Nelly bay bribe) , tourism” and any other term you can relate to white shoe Jobs. I have to disclose that in the late 90’s we were carrying out greenie guerrilla raids on that development , and we were copping charges left right and center but kept going. I was one if the pirates that boarded and held his dredge till the coppers arrived. Being ex army it was my idea and it went perfectly till they arrested the camera boat . They knew who it would be so brought handfuls of summonses for previous raids for the usual suspects and pulled out the fronts of our life vests and stuffed them in….your served ! Now they have raised the fines to civil levels for anti Adani protests. Just remember to type adani into the donor searches, and govstrat who represents them waddyah know ! That’s a bit like the banks donating to the parties writing laws and giving taxcuts that affect them ….type “bank” into the searches , then google their subsidiaries and type them in…waddya know !

  9. Pat Coleman says:

    Who does former electoral roll rorter, Shepherdson Inquiry defendant and former labor minister under Beattie Jim Elder represent as a lobbyist in Qld , and why does the integrity site still describe him as “The Hon.” Jim Elder ?? He represents Qld Nickel and Warratah coal , both Palmer companies. He also represents China First and China Rail among others. Let’s guess who would be angling to give the Chinese government a way into Townsville considering they couldn’t give them the port like Darwin – by selling Yabulu to prevent a remediation ? https://lobbyists.integrity.qld.gov.au/register-details/company-details.aspx?id=179
    Yabulu is not only an environmental risk on the water in a cyclone zone but a national security risk. That makes everyone who supports its reopening an environmental criminal and a traitor cos it will be sold to them eventually.

  10. tenacious D says:

    They just gave this mob $500mill with no tender and this from their website:


    Boosting the Reef’s resilience so it can bounce back from and survive challenges like a changing climate and water quality issues. We’re buying the Reef time while the world works to meet the Paris Agreement.

    Buying time?

    • Just Curious says:

      Just as a matter of interest if my memory serves me correctly over recent years we’ve had fewer cyclones than we’ve ever had. The same is the case for the north coast of Western Australia. As for the cyclones having greater intensity I don’t think on average that is the case either.

      This line gets trotted out all the time.

      • No more dredging says:

        Curious, if you want to have a discussion about the frequency and intensity of cyclones you need to narrow down the geographical space to, say, ‘north Queensland’ or Gulf of Carpentaria or Western Australia or Darwin or whatever. If you look at cyclones that have affected Townsville specifically and directly since Cyclone Althea in 1971, then it’s probably true that there hasn’t been a direct hit and the intense cyclones have passed by or not quite made it here. But if you looked at the zone between Townsville and Cairns and noted the passing of cyclones Winifred (Cat4 1985), Larry (Cat5 2006) and Yasi (Cat5 2011) you might ponder that there have been some big ones and they’ve been pretty regular.

        If you search “Queensland cyclones” there’s stacks of info on various BOM sites which will refresh your memory with times, dates, intensity and track maps. It’s quite a revelation.

  11. The Owl says:

    Shock and horror!
    Just saw a tv ad with Matty Bowen singing from the Clive Palmer songbook. So who has sold their soul, Townsville Rugby League, Blackhawks or Cowboys?
    At least local soccer had the ethics to tell Clive to go jump.

    • The Magpie says:

      Classic case of the Fallacy of Transferred Authority … put simply, being a (retired) electrifying and skilful RL player does not make you more ethically enlightened than anyone else.

  12. Old tradesman says:

    Good to see the Walker St rabble in full spin this morning,with the first of many heart warming stories starting with one of the stars,Cappuccino. This was closely related to the story of nightclub patrons emptying their bowels in the city due to the fact that the traders didn’t put enough money in to build toilets as told by the other star Greaney. Maybe now they might stick a dunny in Jens display water pipe.

  13. The Owl says:

    Yes Old Tradie, it’s all part of the Astonisher’s long range campaign to get their most influential advertiser re-elected. Expect a lot more of the same spin over the next few months. The Mullet, on the advice of Dolan, has cleverly positioned herself and her puppet councillors as big paying advertisers who must be looked after to protect profits. As reported in this blog a week or so ago council ads calling tenders are now in full colour in the news pages instead of in the much cheaper classifieds section where all other councils put them. If they’re doing all this now just imagine the level of spin we are going to be fed closer to the election. I’ve started collecting copies of all the council ads to hand over to whoever stands against the Mullet and her puppets come election time. Won’t be hard to work out how much ratepayer’s money has been spent on this cunning rort.

  14. The Magpie says:

    From the growing file Why Is This Even A Question?

  15. Robert is your Mother's Brother says:

    Couldn’t help but laugh about your “quockerwodger” comment and the accompanying picture when the puppeteer is caught in the background leaning against the wall.

  16. Here we go again says:

    Here we go again . We can now see the results of associating sports with national identity and in a lot if cases with this whole manufactured ANZAC imagery . Just as hiding behind church and canon law led to centuries of abuse that’s the way cricketers and footballers have been treated, like sacred cows protected by the state . Someone dies in a cricket match but anywhere else there’s something to answer for. You have this thing in football even if the coach is an ex copper , that even if a player is a scumbag off the field , as long a he can get the ball over the line that’s fine. You don’t hear ex copper Dutton applying moral equivalence and pointing out character flaws to coaches like that. King hits having footy canon law applied to it by footy priests in their “judiciary” , FFS they don’t even apply WHS law or criminal law and its in full public view. These footy players are competing employees in competing businesses playing for match fees and endorsements so why don’t they apply trade practices law to it too.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie gets what you mean about what happens on the field stays on the field, but that’s impossible in this age of TV. In Tamworth in the 60’s, when Tamworth City was playing Gunnedah, and the full back got flattened way off the ball, a copper ran onto the field and arrested the offender. Back then, the whole thing was thrown out. The ‘Pie has always been of the opinion that the penalty of injuring another player is that the offending player should be sidelined until the injured one is back playing again. Then maybe get a bit tacked on for being a prick in the first place.

      • TJK says:

        Fully agree ‘Pie re sidelining an offender for as long as the injured person is not playing including immediate send off PLUS the penalty such action would receive. This would have an immediate effect on stamping out unnecessary rough and dirty play.

        • The Magpie says:

          Does anybody know if this idea has been canvassed with the NRL poobahs? You can bet the nanny staters (Beattie for one) would be all over it like Barry Taylor all over fifty cents on the footpath.

          • The Magpie says:

            FFS, TCC Engine Room, The ‘Pie has enough legal problems without your wholly unsubstantiated and highly defamatory remarks about named NRL players. Everyone gets a fair go here, but mate, really …

  17. Sir Rabbittborough says:

    Oh magpie , you’re going to love this ad spread. In today’s courier mail August 8 , an invitation for submission’s to the Federal Comprehensive Review of The Legal Framework of The National Intelligence Community on p 15, and a full page ad on the left for the Chinese government owned Huawei on p14. Given the hullabaloo with links to Chinese intelligence and possible hacking in the UK how was the positioning of those ad’s negotiated ? Did Huawei say, hey they are going to put that ad in and we want to counter it or did the Courier Mail make the move knowing the date ? It’s one thing to be cynical about your ad placement but this is more, it’s cold and calculated knowing its significance.

    • Dave Nth says:

      Saw that ad was in every newspaper I came across in the airports I was in today. Got to be some serious coin there. Personally IMO got to be some fire behind the smoke, intelligence doesn’t normally single out companies…

  18. TCC engine room says:

    We found the remaining containers from the strand hidden away at the old waste services depot in Bamford lane kirwan. So did we as ratepayers foot the bill for the cost of manufacturing and painting these or was it for com games as I believe. If it was a state government cost why do we as a council take ownership? Send them to brisbane. Did we buy them? These are now going to sit rusting now until the next mayor finds them. Yet another hidden mistake by mullet and impaler

  19. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Have any of the brainless tossers running Townsville at the moment thought about a possible use for the old stadium site come this time next year, probably not but there is one obvious solution staring them in the face and that is a site for a waterslide and wave park that they have tried to find for some time. The site already has sloped ground to utilise for the slides feeding into the pool area below and a wave pool off to the side, lighting already in place for night use and car parking ready to go, it even has its own water supply from a bore still currently used to water the ground and garden areas. It would be a fairly simple process to remove the existing stands, dig out part of the oval area for the pool areas and gardens for the rest, put in the slides and ready to go, parents can even nick next door to Brothers for a quick few schooners whilst the kids half kill themselves on the slides, it’s the Townsville thing to do.

    • Old tradesman says:

      CBH now that you have come up with a sensible idea,just google Penrith Whitewater Stadium, all will be explained,even the costings. By the way I’ve been looking at another site closer to the CDB.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Don’t be silly CBH! Lancini has all that subdivided already.

  20. I'll be plucked says:

    Oh dear! Two more glaring examples of the inept politician, ‘member’ for Townsville Captain Cupcake S. Stewart (doughy, no substance and full of crap).

    Channel 7 local news tonight – 1. Responding to criticism of the failing bail houses for youth he said all residents were door knocked and ‘spoken to’ – NOT spoken with, consulted, their feedback considered, but SPOKEN TO! Residents are rightly concerned and this is all he had to offer. Close em down! Now!

    2. Trying to compare the Adelaide Oval redevelopment to the CBD stadium under construction – what a long bow, so long the bow snapped – how will it attract crowds? Well his offering was with ‘pop ups and buskers’!

    FFS, what a lemon we have as a ‘member’ – doughy, no substance and full of crap! Bereft of anything useful to our community. As Mr T from Snickers ad fame said ‘FOOL’ and Effie the young Greek girl ‘HOW EMBARASSMENT’!!!

  21. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    TCC response to the Facebook open letter posted last week about animal management. Seems to be a case of waffle and delay……


  22. The Magpie says:


    Oh, sorry, did a little bit of false deduction there. On the scant information given for thIis pic of the Junket of the Month Club, thought the bloke who looks like a lobotomy patient with a shaved forehead (hmmm, maybe that’s the probl … – nah, surely not – but it WOULD explain a lot of things) was suddenly the new mayor of Hinchinbrook, since Ramon Jayo was not in the shot. But no, it’s just Kevin ‘Rhymes With’ Gill, the tax advocate at the Townsville Airport who moonlights as chair of the Dudley Do Nothings aka Townsville Enterprise. Who will be junketing with his betters in Canberra.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Holy shit the North Qld brains trust heading south, what a photo, it reminds me so much of a Far Side cartoon about zombies, that is fuckng hilarious.

      • The Magpie says:

        Yeah, so let’s see now, out the five pictured, we have one mayor who is under investigation for allegedly misleading fellow councillors about the Adani airdtrip deal, we have a bootleg booze runner from Palm Island and someone who wants to tax airline passengers in and out of Townsville.
        Yup, they’ll feel right at home in Canberra.

    • Dearie Me says:

      Ramon was probably protecting his reputation. Haha!
      One can only hope that the Mullet doesn’t wear some of her dreadful dresses such as the yellow snakeskin number, or the purple nanna lace number, and shuts her mouth and let’s someone more articulate like Alf Lacey do the talking.

  23. The Magpie says:

    Quote of the Week:

    ‘If I identified as a coloured transgender sperm whale, you could do no wrong … and maybe become Australian of the Year.’

    Lieutenant Colonel John Salter (Retd), on proposed gender-neutral language for defence force cadets.

    • Woodduck says:

      The Lieutenant Colonel might want to be careful of what he says. There’s bound to be some dickhead out there that identifies as a coloured transgender sperm whale, who will be offended. You know, picking on minority’s and all that bullshit. Another thought,if this gender neutral shit takes off will Melbourne have to change their walk/don’t walk lights?

    • Scotty says:

      There were no pooftas in the trenches in World War I, if there were then the men would have been right on to them!

  24. Dearie Me says:

    For those Council employees following.. because many do…
    There will be much joy in the news that Gerard Nelson, the Impalers former lapdog and dastard Gerard Nelson was walked from Council last week.
    Much money, time, effort and sanity can now be saved by Council employees who have had to deal with the underhanded ways of Mr Nelson.
    Three cheers to TCC for doing the right thing for a change. Now to get rid of the rest of the filthy bastards.

  25. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Photographed and inspected the pipe “sample” tonight at the Cowboys game. (maybe I am now the ‘Pies expert inspector)
    Confirmed it is 1800 outside diameter and 25mm wall thickness. I spoke to a bloke speaking to a council bloke and it seems the sample is representative of what we are going to get. Only there will be a shit more load of them.

  26. One legged tap dancer says:

    Today’s Astonisher finally reveals the truth about the Townsville economy, although you have to join the dots to get the full picture.
    Page 1: Building figures slump again. Down 18.5% in the year ended June 2018, compared to an increase of 27% for houses and 60% for units in Queensland.
    Page 3: Townsville tops regions for the highest number of new personal insolvencies and debtors, recording the highest number of new bankrupts in the June quarter, backing up from the same sorry result in the March quarter. Business related involvencies were also the equal highest in regional Queensland.
    Page 7: Brekkie program in more schools. Students at state schools in Aitkenvale, Cranbrook, Garbutt, Currajong, Heatley, Rasmussen, Railway Estate, Mundingburra and Vincent are now being delivered breakfast five days a week, compliments of the State Government.
    Food, especially breakfast, should be the first thing parents spend their wages or Centrelink handouts on. Wonder how many of the parents smoke, drink grog, bet on the ponies or play the pokies.
    Fair dinkum, all of this is enough to make you want to move to Cairns, or even Mackay which is charging ahead.

    • Grumpy says:

      Well, those facts make one particular poster here look like a fucking idiot, do they not?

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Yet the astonisher, the Mullet, all the lackies at TEL, the Master Builders, HIA and many others still bang on about the requirement of large projects to restore the economy and run around with the begging bowl out. Does not a $250m stadium, $220million pipeline, $300million in large scale solar projetcs, plus all the smaller projects like shopping centre expansions, defence spending, the $50million Mater project make any of these people stop and think just how fucked their strategy is, you can have as many big projects as possible but confidence in this town is shot and people are still packing up and leaving because Townsvile is fast turning into a sprawl of suburban peasants, whilst the leeches of this town fly around the country on junkets, achieving absolutely nothing.

    • Dave of Kelso says:


      Has there been a slump in sales at Dan Murphy, or the Upper Ross BWS?

      It is that I have been travelling for a while and my absence may affect their bottom line.

    • Mike Douglas says:

      One legged Tap Dancer, add the fact no one knows how many houses the banks have been holding until the market improves. Is it 100-200? then add the rumoured 20% of houses at Northshore on the market and 20% reduction in areas closer to the cbd. Elliott Springs had to meet the market to get any traction to return their capital so house and land Packages just over $400k . The 4 major banks cancelling interest only loans just add,s issues with demand.

  27. The Magpie says:

    From the #SoWhat files:

    Is there no end to this man’s base depravity?

  28. Gazza says:

    Happy birthday Magpie!!

  29. Kirwan kid says:

    I think you have sent last week’s blog

  30. Pat O'Brien says:

    The Townsville 2020 consultants have proposed shutting down the rockpool as a saltwater swimming pool and turning it into a skate park. This is a really bad idea. When we already have a saltwater pool suitable for the old and young why would we waste good ratepayers money trying to reinvent it as something else. Can you imagine the outcry if they tried to change the Bondi tidal swimming pool into a skate park ! The great use the rockpool gets as a saltwater swimming pool is testament to how much it is valued by people from the region and from around the world . There are plenty of other places you could have a skate park and a freshwater pool – they don’t need to be next to the sea but a saltwater swimming pool does. If the rockpool needs some work then it is worth spending money on. Make it good for another 50 years !

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