Yup, it’s the talk of the town, but is it possible? Or desirable? The ‘Pie prognosticates. Also, how much do we really fork out from public coffers for the V8s in the ‘Ville? You’ll be surprised. News Corpse wrestle with maths continues apace … and The Astonisher with words.
Also, have we found the reason why bugger all people went to see Tina Arena …
But first, Bentley’s back, returned from the high seas, or returned high from the seas, or whatever, and despite Australia’s terrorism alert being jacked up to ‘high’, he’s more horrified than ‘terrified’. Our boy is less than impressed with the perceived ‘she’ll be jake’ complacency of Aussies, particularly our ‘yoof’. 
The ‘Pie was even amused to see that the level above ‘high’ is critical ‘which means a terror event has already taken place’. Stable doors and horses, indeed.
But terror is not just nasty for people, it camn be anxious time for all sorts of mothers … a real bitch for a bitch you might say, keeping the kids out of harm’s way.
Some canines just love photo-bombing , sometimes with startling results.
Did Yoda may a midnight visit while the old man was doing shift work? He’s not saying.
Quite.
What is it with News Ltd and numbers? We all know about Pinocchio Heywood’s numerical dyslexia … it could be called Emma’s Adventures in Numberland. But it seems simple maths is a problem elsewhere in the company. As witnessed by this in the Sydney Daily Terrorgraph.
Demonstrating a clear inability to count, maybe the headlines were written by a league referee, a breed that also has a problem with numbers, especially around this time of year when the Cowboys are playing.
But this time around at The Astonisher, words seem to have them confused… or they’re trying to confuse us, with full page bit of flapdoodle today …
Well, no, Pinocchio, they couldn’t, because the number you have mind … a fanciful 100,000 … would include repeat readers. Now while we know that the crowd at Smiles can sometimes be beside itself with excitement, being beside itself three times, well, that’s stretching it a bit even for you. And no mention of time span for readers … the readers of the paper before 8am, on a weekday, every pancake Sunday? … and who said anything about fans. Of the paper? I scoff in your coffee, monsieur!!
While we’re having Adventures in Numberland, you may recall The ‘Pie’s recent note about Tina Arena’s audience at her concert in Townsville was cleverly described in the paper as ‘intimate’?
Tina Arena – tasty maybe, but so were the prices.
Seems the configuration at the Entertainment Centre was for between 2000 and 3000 people, but The ‘Pie is told there were just 700 there, which included about 200 tickets given away in a fruitless attempt to make the numbers look acceptable. The Astonisher couldn’t tell you this, of course, since the Entertainment Centre is operated by big advertiser Jupiters/Echo.
But The ‘Pie thinks there just might be another teensy weensy reason for the poor roll-up for a pretty good entertainer. Well, actually, not so teensy weensy and we speak of the ticket prices.
The ‘Pie would not be forking over $351, or even $180, even if Ms Arena was amenable to some personal one-on-one intimacy at the price (a polite inquiry indicated she’s not thus amenable, and the police will involved if The Magpie calls again).
It’s reported that planting your bum anywhere in the first couple of rows would have set you back $351 (saying it again for verification … $351!), the slug scaling back to the poor people’s stalls at around $180 per. If those numbers are accurate, all of the intimate crowd would certainly be poorer after that sort of slug.
For his view, The ‘Pie would not be forking over $351, or even $180, even if Ms Arena was amenable to some personal one-on-one intimacy at the price (a polite inquiry indicated she’s not thus amenable, and the police will involved if The Magpie calls again). The old bird may be out of touch somewhat (do tell, they cried) but it seems something fishy is going on with tickets for Kenny Rogers gig there on Feb 6, too The Entertainment Centre site tells us this …
… which clearly gives the price range at $199 for premium, $139 for middle of the pack and out the door and around the corner for the poor people at $119. But while beaking around, The ‘;Pie came across this curious site …
… $343 down to a miniscule $$267. And while there may be something here the old bird doesn’t understand, he’s not mathematically challenged News Ltd-style to not see there’s …ummm, a bit of a difference between the two sites. But these nice folks at Viagogo at least point out the face value, and don’t try to hide what appears to be well organized scalping. Seriously, could be in error, and explanations? The ‘Pie knows what Viagogo and gogo and getget …
And they wonder, still they wonder … The Astonisher, when commercial considerations allow, never misses an opportunity to give us another finger wagging about backing the big events that come to town or else we’ll be a backwater.
A backwater, oh, no!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, (gasp). It means a community that can only boast a slip-shod daily paper, offering selective news and riddled with errors through penny pinching, advertiser-gouging operational policies. So dig deep, we wouldn’t want that, now would we?
So here’s another number you won’t be seeing any time soon in the Astonisher. Have a guess, just a wild stab, at how much the ratepayers of Townsville pay the legal thieves who run the V8 Superpest event. Last published figure, in cash and kind, was around $750,000. But that ain’t anywhere near the truth.
Mike Shearer
Scary portrait-sitter and vocal opponent of the Superpests Mike Shearer is still trying to do a Don Chipp i.e. ‘keep the bastards honest’, as when he challenged an elusive JCU report which he finally managed to get. That report. Commissioned by TEL and the V8s, claimed a $32million benefit to the Townsville economy, but Mr Shearer showed that the the report offered no proper evidence for its findings.
TCC Clr Colleen Doyle
That was a couple of years ago, but Mike isn’t one to be complacent, so he sought the latest figures from Clr Colleen Doyle.
Here is a brief letter from a council officer to Clr Doyle, who forwarded it on to Mr Shearer.
From: Jason Meldrum Sent: Wednesday, 3 September 2014 10:53 AM To: Colleen Doyle Cc: Ray Burton Subject: Re: V8 Report 2013/2014 Good morning Cr Doyle, The CEO has asked me to compile and supply the information requested by yourself on the 1st of September on behalf of Mr Shearer (please refer to below). With regard to the V8 report, JCU only do this report on request from V8 Supercars or TEL and not necessarily annually. The last report done is the 2012 report, which has previously been made available to Mr Shearer. With regard to Council’s financial contribution toward the Townsville 500 event, the budget has grown from the original $500K for the 2009 event, by the construction cost index every year, to the point where the 2014-15 budget would have been $657K. To this, however, Council resolved late last year to support the extension of the event by 3 years, by adding an additional $250K to its “in-kind” support, to fund the traffic management plan implementation and works undertaken by TMR. This has brought the current 2014-15 budget to $907K.
With regard to the corporate box, Council’s budget for 2014-15 in addition to above was $40K for 2014-15.
I trust the information above is sufficient.
Regards,
Jason Meldrum Executive Coordinator to the CEO Townsville City Council
So the answer appears to be the ratepayers contribution to the V8s in cash and kind is a tasty $947,000, which will tip over into a million before the current three year contract runs out. The ‘Pie leaves it to others to argue the toss as to whether it’s worth it, but he will note that if it wasn’t for Mr Shearer, no one would be any the wiser, even although it is information the public is entitled to know. One can’t help getting the feeling that this is just one of several ‘inconvenient truths’ that have been tucked away. Parsnip? Uncle Fester?
Moving on.
Would former mayor Tony His Radiance Mooney be a good choice to take over the reins at Townsville Enterprise?
People are talking about it, so so will we.
The very first thing is that there is no point in asking the man himself. The ‘Pie’s guess is under the right circumstances, he would jump at the job, but he’s hardly likely to say so – think what you will of His Radiance, he is anything but a dill. Expressing an interest, even informally, could put his current position with Guildford Coal – worth a reputed couple of hundred per – under question. Strange, but bosses don’t like coming second in the affections of well paid employees.
So let’s have a look on the assumption that His Radiance quietly puts his hand up for the job (or even more progressively – fat chance – he is asked to apply).
His track record in Walker Street is well known, and was eloquently summed up by this comment from Ron Bairstow during the week. Writing from Perth, where he now lives, Mr Bairstow was able to bring the perspective of someone who had been intimately involved as an indepndent media liaison with TEL some years ago.
Ron Bairstow Perth September 9, 2014 at 10:45 pm (Edit) On Monday, Anthony Templeton floated the proposition of Tony Mooney becoming the new chief of Townsville Enterprise. Next day, any thought of that happening was knocked on the head by TEL’s chairman on the grounds that the appointee needed to be “someone apolitical.” Pray tell me, where in Townsville could you find such a person? No matter what you think of his politics or some of his mates, there is no doubt that Mr Mooney presided over the most dynamic phase of development in Townsville’s history. As TEL’s media and public relations consultant during those exciting times, I saw at first-hand his absolute dedication to turning around the perception and reality of the city and region. He never took a backward step in his efforts to foster investment, improve infrastructure, attract visitors and make Townsville a better and more exciting place in which to live and work. He took enormous risks and had the charisma to drag along community leaders in all spheres to help realise dreams like the Museum of Tropical Queensland, establishment of the Sun Metals refinery and redevelopment of The Strand, to name but a few of the achievements over which he presided. This was the period when Townsville people lost their collective inferiority complex and stepped from the shadow of Cairns — and it was due in no small part to the mayor’s leadership. Love him or loathe him, but don’t deny his significance in the region’s history. I suspect there’s no way he would take on the TEL job, but things would fly if he did.
Indeed, the ex-mayor would bring to the position a sorely needed dimension – dynamism.
He has leadership skills, and has now spent some years in a corporate rather a political/public service infrastructure, so any reservation about Mooney’s old crash-or-crash-through political mindset can be well and truly laid to rest.
Selecting another bureaucrat, another Glenys Shuntner or Trevor Goldstone, both capable administrators and suitable for their time, would not just be a mistake, it would be a step backwards at this moment in our community’s growth.
But if there is too much hanky wringing about Mooney’s ALP affiliations, there is a possible way to nullify that concern. With no slight intended to current chairman Kevin Gill, who would probably be happy to just handle his day job at the airport anyway, the board chair could be used for political balance and great advantage. How? By selecting as chairman a Les Tyrell, or, probably better still , a Peter Lindsay!
Mooney and Lindsay have already demonstrated they can work together (there are wild rumours they’re actually friends, but The ‘Pie writes that with a raised eyebrow) and between them, there ain’t many doors they couldn’t open.
So who would oppose such an arrangement? Well, around this burg, you never know whose going to pop up with what arguments, abuse and general nighty ripping, but you can bet Mayor Mullet, the TEL deputy chair, would be biting her bottom lip at the thought of her old nemesis again becoming CEO – they really don’t each other, and it goes beyond a labor factional thing.
Just as sure a bet one the other side of the coin is that the business community, and especially old boys club members like Lozza Lancini, who would wholeheartedly welcome Mooney and probably Lindsay, too.
The board could show they are intent on shaking off the ineffective dross and Hermit Kingdom secrecy of the last few years, by being proactive and asking Mooney to quietly slip in an application. And the council would have to demonstrate that they can rise above political sniping in the interests of Townsville. It’s been signaled that there’s change in the air, as The Magpie commented during the week.
The Magpie September 11, 2014 at 8:59 am (Edit) Oh, dear, bet there’s an epidemic of buttock-clenching down at Townsville Enterprise around now, with ominous non-specific pronouncements from Chairman Kevin Gill that clearly hint that jobs will go. On Tuesday, he told The Astonisher: quote ‘ It’s probably fair to say that TEL tries to be many things to many people, and it’s about slimming down, perhaps less is more’. At the moment, the favourite euphemism is ‘re-focus’, and that would be enough to start many biting the bottom lip, but the hapless staff may have to wait until the process of finding a new CEO is finalised, so the new person can take the fall for sackings.
Yup ‘too many things to too many people’ just about sums it up. Townsville Enterprise should regroup with that idea in mind: they’re for TOWNSVILLE preeminently, and if that’s successful, benefits will naturally flow on to the region.
And while we’re in this neck of the woods, it would be interesting to know how Johnny ‘Parking Inspector To The Ill’ Bearne feels about all this. It was he who started the chain of events which saddled us with The Kipper in the first place. Bearne’s managerial interference and and penchant for micro management prompted the just-appointed Trevor Goldstone to quit before anyone could form an opinion on his worth.
And then Berne, along with Tony Ireland, shoe-horned Kippin into the job with indecent haste for reasons best known to themselves – The ‘Pie has been told there were several much better qualified candidates who underwent a rigorous interview process that was apparently unnecessary for Kippin. So thanks, fellas, for the past wasted two or three years.
We trust that this time around, transparency in the selection process will be paramount. That would be nice change.
Other matters.
Sir Wally Raleigh
During the week, The ‘Pie suddenly felt he had a kindred spirit in the most unlikely figure – Sir Walter Raleigh! While doing elegant time in the regal chokey known as the Tower of London in 1603 to 1616 , Raleigh completed the first volume of a planned three volumes of his History of the World. It never wrote the final two volumes, and although the real reason was more likely that his sponsor died, there is a persistent tale that claims otherwise.
It is said that Raleigh was looking out his tower window one day, when a fracas developed between two other prisoners in the courtyard below. Wally viewed the entire incident, which, with the odd ‘have at thee, varlet’, thump and thwack, amounted to very little. But when Wally later talked with others who had seen or heard about the incident, their versions varied wildly, even among those who had witnessed the matter start to finish. Given the incompatible versions, it is said Raleigh then and there decided not to proceed any further with his History, realizing that it was all based on unreliable hearsay.
The ‘Pie only wishes Wally had been taking ye olde refreshment down at City Lane a couple of Friday night’s ago. There was a loud verbal confrontation between Queensland Minister for Local Government David The Kid Crisafulli, and one Will Keiler, the Chief Operating Officer of Echo Entertainment at Jupiter’s. What followed would have Wally Raleigh heading for the bar and a double bumper of mead and don’t hold the honey.
First, it must be said that the incident put the Astonisher in a vice-like nutcrusher – because although they’d heard about it – and under any other circumstances would have been one of their sensationalized front-page bits of flapdoodle – Iditor Pinocchio Heyward recognized that Jupiter’s is a big advertiser and Crisafulli a senior Qld politico, neither of whom that paper would want to unnecessarily get off-side.
So The ‘Pie, who doesn’t do nights at all anymore (except Poseurs’, of course) and so wasn’t there, aired the issue in this blog. Contacted by several people and having spoken to The Kid, The ‘Pie decided he was convinced of the version that Crisafulli, his wife and two young daughters in tow, was loudly and roundly taken to task by Mr Keiler over the issue of the transfer of the casino licence.
Crisafulli says twice he suggested this was neither the time or place, but he’d be happy to etc etc, but he says Mr Keiler wouldn’t stop and the third time around loudly called The Kid a wanker. With that, Crisafulli gave his antagonist a robust character assessment himself, after crisply outlining the government mechanism on the license transfer.
But in publishing that version of the hissy fit brought a fire storm of comments onto the blog, with the usual goodly share of ‘The Magpie’s a biased bastard’ angle.
Some said The Kid started it (one went so far to make the amusing comment that Crisafulli had ‘stormed’ in – in 12 years of knowing him, The ‘Pie has never seen Crisafulli ‘storm’ anyone or anything except the buffet table). It was agreed he hadn’t been drinking, but that Mr Keiler had and was fast approaching taxi-time. Some suggested Mr K was, in the vernacular ‘shit-faced’, others say he was having a quite conversation with mates and was not alcohol-affected when The Kid made some adverse comment.
There a couple of small details The ‘Pie has unearthed which he knows to be true. Mr Keiler HAD been drinking that afternoon with some mates including the Property Council’s John Quinlan (who doesn’t feature in any way in any version of events). And also present at City Lane was – ta da – David Kippin, who apparently attempted to be a peacemaker. (This happened exactly a week before The Kipper was tapped on the shoulder.) And The ‘Pie is informed Crisafulli’s office received a letter shortly after the incident from Echo management, Mr Keiler’s employer, disowning his comments and behavior. The comments to the Magpie ran from Crisafulli being ‘power drunk’ to Mr Keiler being an A grade ar … errr, not-nice-person. And The ‘Pie could expect to be sued for airing the issue, the last from a frustrated Bulletin reporter.
Like Wally Raleigh, The ‘Pie got a mighty headache from all the claim and counter claim, but the old bird will settle for a panadol , not Wally’s cure, which was to have his head chopped off.
Finally, as the Python’s used to say, now for something completely different, and it doesn’t come much more different than this.
From the land that gave us that great ad campaign ‘Bugger!’ comes another clever Kiwi campaign for Schick, the razor and ‘facial grooming’ people. The ads are based on the premise that beards are boring, and need a little more pizzaz – like being sculpted into looking like small furry animals hanging on for dear life.
Challenge you not to laugh.
