Calm rational debate has been missing from this overly-emotive issue which has been blown out of all proportion as our own D (as in Decision) Day approaches this Thursday. So The ‘Pie gives his perspective – why not, everyone else has.
Aitkenvale angst: the cliché involving ‘frying pan’ and ‘fire’ springs to mind when the state government ‘backs down’ over the touted ‘Youth Foyer’ building. But was it a back down, or something else altogether. The Magpie loves a good conspiracy theory.
And we while had one D Day during the week (Trump thought the D stood for Donald) and we face another D Day closer to home this Thursday when the Adani decision – one way or the other – will be announced. Thank god or whoever. The Magpie rants.
But First …
The story that got the most attention in the past week was Trump’s visit to Pommyland, with the most anticipated moments involving his time with the Queen. Everybody shuddered to think of what gaffes were on the cards and how Her Maj would just be icily tolerant of ol’ Agent Orange. But The’Pie wasn’t surprised that she appeared quite at home in the President’s company, because let’s face it, the Queen comes from a long line of fascists anyway, she is certainly married to one, and was perhaps comfortable with a kindred spirit.
But there was one awkward moment, which recalled the 1992 huffing and puffing when then PM Paul Keating placed his hand on her back in a breach of royal protocol. The British press displayed mock outrage , dubbing Keating The Lizard of Oz. Trump did exactly the same thing, although Bentley thinks the media hasn’t reported the full extent of the moment.
Indeed, Bentley, a royal goose from a right royal goose, perhaps? And the D Day celebrations were notable for a couple of unforeseen reasons. One was when the 15 assembled world leaders signed a joint proclamation marking the event – Trump couldn’t help but advertise where he saw himself among these minnows – check out the top left.
And sometimes, in both politics and desire, some things get lost in translation, it would seem it wasn’t just her nation that spurned poor old Thersa May when she was seated beside French President Macron. Only a single letter different, but all ‘La Difference.’
We will have a further round-up of Trump’s tour later in the blog (cheering breaks out).
Closer To Home, More Embarrassment For Townsville
Returning to matters on the home front, this embarrassing stuff was originally posted by Lil Patty O’Callaghan on Thursday and a day later in the Astonisher.
A side note: Poor old Greg Rains, a mate from Poseurs’ Bar days … geez, mate, by the strained grin on your dial, The ‘Pie reckons you just went down for the footy but got roped into this pointless exercise by the missus (that would be the good looking blonde in the front, there, Chamber of Commerce prez, Debbie Rains. Yeah, well, Greg, bet you’d rather be on the first tee at Rowes Bay).
Now let’s leave aside any snide remarks about timing … this demonstration/rally/whatever was the day after the State of Origin match, so we trust Mayor Mullet will declare the freebie tickets on her perks roster sometime in the next – oh, say, five years. We’d just like to know where they came from.
But there is another question here regarding freebies. You see, this hootenanny, dubbed a Queenslanders Unite rally staged with the ambitious theme of uniting the state and its regions on Queensland Day last Thursday, was organized by mining’s main mouthpiece the Queensland Resources Council. And Mayor Mullet apparently decided it would be a merry lark to hijack it for her re-election campaign, which is aimed at painting her as the Battlers Boaedica’, with ‘Start Adani’ signage. So who paid for the trip down south for our gals to watch a footy match and wave a placard around the next day in a rally that got a big yawn from the media – (even the Astonisher got its pic from TEL social media).If it was the Resource Council, fair enough, that’s their business and their lobby money. But it’s a different matter if it’s the ratepayer – or worse, Adani, footing the bill for a fly-down for a footy match and an irrelevant demo. And did TEL – which in effect means the ratepayers – pay for the three Townsville bizoids to be there? Sorry, fellas, if you forked out for yourselves.
If it is either of the latter, the ratepayers will be happy to know they are subsidising the mayor’s re-election campaign and TEL’s continued bludging on the community. But not to worry, with our transparent council, all will be revealed , unless of course it is judged to be CIC – Conniving In Confidence.
And The Question No One Will Answer
When it comes to logic and English, it is fair to say that none of our three local state members made to the end of the assembly line. Take this for example.
The story began:
ADANI’S first official meeting with the Townsville half of the ‘Carmichael crew’ was “productive”, as the Labor MPs vow to keep the mining giant true to its commitment of local jobs.
Chief executive Lucas Dow and Townsville MPs Scott Stewart, Aaron Harper and Coralee O’Rourke met for the first time yesterday.
It comes after a band of six regional Queensland MPs, including the three from Townsville, created a group dedicated to holding Adani to account on delivering regional jobs, dubbing themselves the “Carmichael crew”.
Nothing like an alliterative nickname to make utter bullshit sound almost Churchillian. Lots of buzz words like ‘productive’, ‘respectful’ and ‘constructive’ but nary a word of detail about what went on. And no wonder. This was just empty-headed chest-thumping by politicians running scared after years of easy trough swilling. Lucas Dow has them well and truly in the Christmas Hold.
BECAUSE NO ONE – THE THREE STOOGES, MAYOR MULLET OR LITTLE PATTY O’CALLAGHAN – WILL ANSWER THE SINGLE QUESTION THAT WILL LEND CREDIBILITY TO ALL THEIR ADANI WAFFLE.
And that is: just how do you suddenly brave warriors intend to ‘hold Adani to account’? What mechanism has been agreed with the mining company to verify and police the number of jobs Townsville gets from the venture if it goes ahead? In a democratic country, it amounts to Mission Impossible.
This aspect came up during the week when The ‘Pie had a lively email exchange with a leading local bizoid about all the Adani kerfuffle. It began when he sent in this Adani release, into the Nest with what seemed an inexplicable note of triumph.
The ‘Pie replied:
1500 sounds about right on available data from other mines, but a couple of matters arise from this whole new scenario. Previously such analysis’s have used the direct and indirect jobs link by saying one mining job ‘creates’ 4.5 outside jobs, while Mr Dow’s release now uses the word ‘support’, which seems to mean some people already employed will simply get busier and better off, which of course is good. But not the same thing, and it certainly doesn’t help the rate base of any local council.
And this goes to the underlying problem Adani has had from the outset … making clearly unsupportable claims about both employment and finances, forcing themselves to dodge about in an embarrassing game of numbers and semantics, all time looking more and more shifty.
There is also the question of incipient racism in the opposition to the mine, with adjacent projects not receiving as much if any attention, including one owned by the Chinese. Adani himself seems to have realised this could be blunted by hiring an Australian to head the operation. Enter Lucas Dow, the epitome of the Alan Bond no-tie, knockabout ‘she’ll be right, mate, trust me ‘ culture which is so widely questioned nowadays, not just by the Greens but the market itself.
But Adani himself and his double talking offsider JJ have themselves to blame for this, not only for their gross, patronising flim-flam exaggerations of prospects served up to gullible people like our mayor and premier, but his company’s precarious legal position back in India. That is lessened somewhat by the re-election of his mate, Modi, as PM recently, but business deals based on quickly changeable political patronage should be treated with great caution.
The Magpie has never been opposed to mining as such, and thinks the finch palaver is purely political posturing by a completely factionally befuddled state government and cowardly federal counterpart – The ’Pie’s stand has been consistent throughout: he is vehemently opposed to the use of taxpayers/ratepayers money being handed across willy nilly to an untrustworthy and grifting interloper – one who now, through Dow, suddenly changes the company’s boastful early claim that it will be the most automated mine-port operation in the world
What sort of legally enforceable agreement between our council (read mayor) and Adani is or can be put in place to guarantee and accurately monitor the number of jobs for Townsville? And how many has the company agreed to ‘gift’ Townsville, and how will they do that? Will the company introduce an HR quota system, knocking back qualified applicants from one city in favour of another? Will they open their HR books to Townsville officials to check that they’re keeping to their agreement (yeah, right)? And will those workers be required to remain in Townsville, even if they would prefer to move elsewhere? That’s only a step or two away from internal passports.
And perhaps more importantly (and likely), what happens if they do not honour whatever agreement has been made?
Our mayor has whinged on national television that ‘Townsville can’t get a break’ and that investors are shunning the place. Thanks for the endorsement, Madam Mayor, but any idea why that might be, Jenny?
Speaking Of Automation
Robotics could become a daily part of politics, (why not, we’re almost there when you listen to media conferences?). In fact, Labor is ahead of the game in this field, as this video proves.
A Challenge For You Readers
The Magpie was fascinated the read about all the spin-off products that famous people use their celebrity to promote.
But fame is a relative thing, and it doesn’t need to apply just to mega-stars on the world stage. So The ‘Pie started wondering what some of local personalities could create for a bit of extra cash.
Perhaps a Jenny Hill No Sweat Underarm Deodorant – also ideal for hiding stains on your character – it even worked on Deputy Doo Dah Messagebank Walker. But there can be pitfalls for some products. perfume can be really tricky. For instance, Jenny Hill’s Eau di Adani featured exotic aromatics redolent with sour notes and false promise of delights to come. But pricing was a problem – the original 44-gallon drum pack of Eau di Adani was put on the market at $18.5 million, but was withdrawn when no one bought it, said it was a ridiculous price for such a product, and too many complained about the price. Keep a close eye out for its return to the market.
A dinosaur in front of a statue.
How about Clive Palmer’s Greasing Oil … made by a unique patented process of squeezing workers until they are dry, and running the resultant oil through a Mensink Converter set up in Rumania. Unfortunately, Palmer plans to use the proceeds of his greasing oil business towards building a ship that will never float and a political party with the same characteristic.
To liven up the adult market, how about a Bob Brown Business Buster dildo … you ram it into small places without permission, causing great pain. Bob promotes this product saying’ It gives me great pleasure to hear the groaning when I comes into a town.’ Available only in green.
But if times get thin once you’ve been out of the spotlight for a while, no doubt your legacy of fame lingers on enough to back a product. So Mike ‘Captain Snooze’ Reynolds, famous for his use of a La-Z-Boy recliner when he was the state member for Townsville, is soon to release this vintage recliner,
It comes replete with wheels, so you can be rolled into branch meetings, and has swing-around tray for Iced Vo-Vos and a holder for hot bedtime cocoa. The tray is swivel reversible, with a mirror on the underside , to allow you to quickly check that you’re looking your best should anyone call around. Or if you just like to look at yourself. Don’t forget to remove the cocoa first.
So you get the idea. Send in your ideas to help local celebs past and present make a quid on the side. If any good ones are received, they will appear in next week’s blog,(since you can’t transmit pix to comments, The ‘Pie will have a ferret around if your effort is worthy of the effort)but folks, please make them acceptable, The ‘Pie’s delete digit is getting as worn and useless as Bob Brown’s dildo.
From Comments During The Week
Is this a cautionary tale for the residents of Aitkenvale, as in the ageless adage ‘ Be careful what you pray for, because God may grant your prayers. This from today’s Astonisher.
But did they? Really? Because in the guts of the story, we find this …
Quote:”Instead the government-owned land, bought for $1.1 million in December, will be turned into a two-storey “lower density social housing complex” and not be specifically designed for youth.”Unquote.
Now, in The Magpie’s suspicious mind, he asks was this what the government wanted all along, to plonk a housing commission development in the middle of Aikenvale (sorry for the old fashioned terminology, but its only the terminology that has changed reality hasn’t). Being a Labor government, they have a reverse laissez-faire habit of doing this But they knew there will be howls of outrage and vehement opposition from locals. So instead, first Anna’s army proposes something that will raise the ire all round, with the council planning guidelines being overridden on several scores, and the locals hyperventilating loudly. After a lot of huffing and puffing, petitions and a lot of fence sitting by the Astonisher, the government ‘backs down’, says it won’t go ahead, and says instead, cop this … and they announce the original plan of ‘social housing’ instead, knowing that the residents feel vindicated and miss that they are being shafted – in real estate and local amenity terms – with the lesser of two evils.
A possible flaw in The ‘Pie’s theory? Way too patient and way too smart for the current George Street rabble.
Our Regular Trump Diary
Well, it would appear that the gears have finally seized up. The Chump in Chief announced on Twitter today a scientific secret he has held to himself until now – the moon is part of Mars. (Yes, he really said this, you can check.)
That was a sudden diversion from the UK visit, where mercifully, his gaffes were kept to a minimum And our own Bentley wasn’t the only funny penman fixated by Trump’s travels to Britain. Others were also interested in the tariff war.
…….
That’s it for another week, but get the comments coming in, especially ideas for our celebrity spin-off products. And brother, if you can spare a dime, your donation to help keep the Nest from the buffeting winds of finance will be greatly appreciated. The how-to-donate button is below.
The Queensland budget is Tuesday 11 th June and at last the blow torch is on Labor’s left faction treasurer Jackie Trad . Trad has put her own existence ahead of the State by cowtailing to the greens effecting farmers , business and the States finances . Forget about debate in Labor’s caucus meetings as Trad apparently has a meeting of the prior and they have already determined their vote .Trad was expecting $2 bil from Shortens victory to fund Cross River Rail so look out for your wallets Tuesday as Trad needs to increase levies, taxes, royalties .
MEMO TO NICK KYRIOS, BERNARD TOMIC:
Watch Ash Barty. Not her tennis, watch her media conferences.
That’s how it’s done, you embarrassing, devlopmentally delayed spoiled brats. She also wins tournaments, including a grand slam, and still manages not to embarrass Australia.
Kelso Dave. Hope you don’t have any children or grand children or the prospect of other future generations of your family. You obviously don’t know anyone who happens to live in the vacinity of the Adani mine. Just worry about yourself- not anyone else who inherits what you selfishly believe is ok.
Doncha just love a great visual metaphor … try this none for Anna Palaszczuk.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=371149833526924
Townsville can’t catch a break? Look in the mirror Jenny Hill, it’s you, who the hell would want to invest in a place with an incompetent failure like you in charge, and the hopeless lackey councillors completing the full failure package. What else do you want, how many other cities of our size have had a $300 million piece of infrastructure given to them but completely failed to capitalise on the “ break” they have been given, not one single privately funded project of consequence has been leveraged off this project, not one.
Other projects around town are still happening, many with a FIFO workforce or those temporary citizens here for a short stay during the life of the project, and the thousands here to do flood repair work, but none of them are here to stay, none of them “want” to live here, they are here because the work is here, as soon as the work stops they will leave and Adani will be exactly the same. Until Townsville focuses on creating a vibrant place where people want to live, rather than are forced to live, nothing will change, and the exodus out of town will continue.
Your singin’ The Magpie’s song.
Thought that’s why the Mullet was organising all the street art. To create vibrancy.
A classic example, one of many, of lots of activity with no achievement.
Also a classic example of the Mullet not understanding what community vibrancy is. Hint for the Mullet (because I know you read this blog), it doesn’t mean lots of bright colours on buildings.
Pie, A great blog as usual. Trumpistan is still my favourite but your posts keep getting better. Cheers. PS Go Swannies!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDtKFbXoQ6Q
I watched, I liked and I shared.
I was going to post that before the election but didn’t want to be called a lefty-greeny.
You can see all the Murdoch and IPA staffer’s now in our parliament! Its a disgrace what has happened with big corporations now dictating our policies.
Maybe some people here need to go and red Micheal West’s website and see what proper investigative journalism looks like instead of the CourierSnail where its self opinion and hear say.
What’s it matter what you’re called, if you believe something to be true, don’t be worried about labels, they’re slapped on you by others. Just so long as you know who you are, that’s all that matters. Ahem … take it from The ‘Pie, he knows … and even in these comments the old bird has been labelled left, right, nazi, commy, negative and positive, as those doing the labelling peek out from their own entrenched world-view bunker and try to nail him down … but every part of the spectrum has some truth floating around in it.
Regarding Adani: there’s no hope when you understand what and who we are up against. Have a look at this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDtKFbXoQ6Q. Is it corruption or just politics and business as usual? OK, so they genuinely believe that the Galilee Basin is a Good Business Deal and they are genuinely convinced that their visions are just what the scientists and environmentalists and thoughtful citizens don’t understand is for actually for their benefit. How can those who happen to have rationality and evidence on their side argue against the $$millions the mining and political power holders can use to buy irresponsible and illegal action regardless?
As for the Carmichael Crew, will they hold Gotem to account for his promises on the environment? Forget the finches, they’re a lost cause ‘cos there’s no $$s attached to them, But worry about the groundwater, because when it’s despoiled there’ll be no way of fixing it. And who will hold Gotem to account over rehabilitation of the whole disaster when he chooses to cut his losses and leave?
Adani isn’t the only mine in Qld to use the artesian basin. And every mine in Queensland has to do dewater their mine to operate. So why get hung up on it? Best shut down all mining in Qld if you are worried about Groundwater
Adani will be drawing their water from the Suttor River, not the GAB.
It’s not just “groundwater” it’s groundwater in specific locations for which the system of which it is part is not well understood and the impact of drawdown for mining cannot be predicted to be sustainable and safe well beyond the economic life of the mine. Enough is known of the groundwater system in the Galilee basin to know that much more knowledge is needed, and not the level of “knowledge” that Adani publishes. See https://d3n8a8pro7vhmx.cloudfront.net/lockthegate/pages/5429/attachments/original/1521596433/Adani_Water_Factsheet.pdf?1521596433. That there are already mines taking water is irrelevant to Adani’s case. But extremely relevant to the future of the water resources affected by those other mines – and unknown or ignored when the mines were approved.
Remember cane toads, innumerable plants including cacti, rubber trees, lantana; rabbits, foxes, domestic cats, carp, refrigerant gases, thalidomide… all started out with the notion that there was no associated harm, because no or inadequate studies were done beforehand.
Or the studies were ignored – got in the way of profits or development or political expediency.
Well Mike, why don’t you lot of eco warriors like building dams? They usually store water you know.
Your point?
I am getting a bit tired of you anti coal fanatics. You would ram down our throats a world without steel. To make steel you need coke. Coke is made from???? Coal. Yep, some for thermal and some for coke. You lot will have blown a poofell valve by this Thursday. Until then bugger off and have your anxiety attacks in private.
I’ve seen it referred to as a foofer valve, fufu valve, foofoo valve and foovoo valve…..but poo-fell valve does seem oddly appropriate…..when you bust that you definitely end up in the shit.
After Queensland fucks over the Galilee Basin, watches the Barrier Reef dying due to climate change, and farewells the tourists who don’t want to come anymore, will you mining luvvies just keep defending your position as the world leaves us behind?
No one is saying no coal for steel, just that coal is no longer viable for energy (electricity) production, pretty simple Dave
Actually, metallurgical coal converted to coke isn’t the only source of carbon needed for use in blast furnaces to make steel. Waste products can be used, including old car tyres – and they have advantages over coke. See the research of Professor Veena Sahajwalla, e.g at https://www.arc.gov.au/news-publications/media/feature-articles/wheel-success-researcher-teams-industry-turn-tyres-steel; or https://www.science.org.au/curious/technology-future/turning-old-wheels-new-steel. It’s already happening in Woollongong.
Mike Shearer I’m sure you are used to being out of step with the community on the V8,s and most progress in the city but just questioning whether your objective is to possibly re-educate us because I thought the support for these projects was clearly shown in the Federal election results . Stopping Adani won’t stop all the other coal being exported from Mackay and Abbott Point and did I miss your support of Adanis renewable Solar farm completed in Ruby River Moranbah and their $200 mil Whyalla investment in renewables ?.
Popular support isn’t necessarily proof of the viability or sustainability or even desirability of anything. It was once popular to believe in a flat earth, and that asbestos was a wonderful material. When there’s evidence against a popular belief and no evidence in favour then it’s not smart to go along with the crowd who’ve yet to understand the substance of the belief. BTW (you mentioned them) my problem with the V8s was and still is that they take $$s out of the community, don’t bring them in and nobody has yet come up with evidence that proves my belief wrong.
Adani and Whyalla? hmmm, very interesting reading on the web. But Adani’s webpage on the project has a “Know more” tab which links to the State Planning Commission’s homepage which knows nothing about it. And Ruby Downs? Completed? Has it actually progressed from being mothballed? More Adani look good promises and no delivery?
Car tyres, ya recon? Local tyre shop is not offering $s for my old tyres.
Quite the opposite.
Seems the market knows tyres, at the price offered by by your steel making mates, stink! (‘unviable’ for those on the FAR left with no understanding of the dinkum Aussie linquia franka.)
Kelso Dave, I wonder how you feel about the possibility that after years of quarrying at the Pinnacles and carting millions of tonnes of rock down Riverside Drive to the port reclamation site you discover that the end result is a coal stockpile and shiploader located in Cleveland Bay? Not for Adani and not for coking coal but for a small number of thermal coal miners in the northern Galilee Basin around Pentland and Hughenden adjacent to the Mount Isa to Townsville railway. They’ll be getting their first leg up in Palaszczuk’s budget and then a drip feed from Canberra.
How do I feel?
I feel that it will bring jobs and royalties therefore prosperity. Dust must be managed and shipping should not bugger-up Wednesday twilight sailing.
And what if dust is not managed, because it can’t be managed if you won’t accept that it exists? How do you fix something when you have let it be fucked in the making? Take Palmer’s nickel refinery. Are you satisfied that there is a rehabilitation plan for the contaminated site? If you are not satisfied or you simply don’t know, how do you think this is going to be sorted? What do the residents of the northern beaches and Yabulu have at their disposal to “manage” the derelict refinery and its overloaded tailings dam? Did you know that for about three years from 2013 the Townsville port was contaminating the Strand and North Ward with significant lead-in-dust pollution, with the full knowledge of the government regulator, and absolutely nothing was done about it. Full knowledge, own public servants, nothing whatsoever done, miners and refiners standing around on their demolition and reconstruction site whistling dixie. So if an open coal stockpile out in the bay containing say 80,000 tonnes is smashed by a cyclone, storm surge and a metre of rain and spread all around the foreshore, how do you propose to “manage” the restoration of the World Heritage values that you know you gambled with simply by allowing the thing to be done? Don’t care, it’s only about jobs and ‘prosperity’. Such a great neighbour.
Apologies for having a different opinion Dave. Next time I’ll check with you before I do the unthinkable and express a view that is different to yours.
FF, make sure you do you jet-setting mongrel!
And, by the way, I hope you pay to fly carbon neutral.
You need to stop looking in the mirror Dave.
Good one, but that was not me by another name. I don’t mind sticking my head up knowing I’ll be shot at from time to time.
No need FF. Everybody has the right to be wrong.
So, Dave of Kelso, you advise people concerned about the opening up of thermal coal mining in the Galilee Basin to “bugger off” and to have their “anxiety attacks in private”, but you have no response to a question about your own back yard – and front yard if you accept that Cleveland Bay is every Townsvillain’s front yard. Our federal and state governments, of both political stripes, are preparing to impose a massive taxpayer-funded dredging and reclamation project on Cleveland Bay seemingly to benefit one industry alone – coal mining and export. You seem to be in complete denial that this is even happening – even as the port opens tenders for a $194 million dredging contract, even as the state completes a $30 million upgrade of Riverside Drive (you know, that leads to Kelso) and years after the Council has informed local residents that the giant Pinnacles quarry will drive a new access road straight into Kelso to carry at least half a million tonnes of rock per year on road trains (or whatever) through the suburbs to the port expansion site.
The coal miners are completely open about their intentions with Resolve Coal’s managing director Gordon Saul’s TBully interview (24 April) demonstrating that northern Galilee coal can come to Townsville via the Mount Isa rail link and of course the long standing Guildford Coal MOU with the Port of Townsville – a profitable coal export facility in Townsville is a possibility as long as taxpayers put up the money, and put up with the decimation of Cleveland Bay, the foothills of Herveys Range, our streets and suburbs and our communal civic processes. Do you care? Or are you having a private anxiety attack as you contemplate our communal trip to the cleaners on the back of yet another cynical political stunt that rips us off for a few pieces of silver?
Strooth NMD,
You have confirmed , again, that anyone who disagrees with the Labor-Green axis will get shouted at, and called some sort of ‘ist or ‘phobe .
(Most respectible folks will keep themselves to themselves and unload at the ballot box.
God be praised that the Short-un will never be PM.)
Anger mangerment and anxiety can be treated cost effectly if you have decent health insurance.
In the meantime relax and don’t get your testicles in a twist.
(I am assuming you are a bloke. If I am wrong, delete ‘testicles and insert ‘tits’.
Dave, I replied to your shout to “bugger off”. You know already that I’m not part of a “Labor-Green axis” (whatever that is) so I have to presume that you are just a typical ignorant shouter. And a shit neighbour.
NMD, Dave is NOT a shit neighbor, so I think an apology is required.
He keeps us amused for hours with his banjo playing. He also does impressions. You should hear his “pig squealing” routine – a real hoot.
He is a really loved by us Kelsoites, so LAY off!
D’sN, Dave is my neighbour too. Dave’s an ‘I’m alright, Jack’ kind of guy. He likes to join one side (of the street, neighbourhood, town) and tell people he thinks are on the other side to ‘bugger off’. Hard to tell if that’s Angry Dave or Anxious Dave but it’s Dave alright, perhaps having a bad hair day.
Where’s a good sub when you need one? Well, the answer at the Bulletin is all sacked. Which is why a professional eye was not cast over this piece of headline idiocy.
I particularly like the phrase ‘former mayor’s head of office’. Hopefully the Bully is suffering from a lovely case of prescience!
To reinforce the importance of experienced subs, in the same week that that headline clash appeared in the Bulletin, there was an even more unfortunate blunder. It is an axiom of the news business that all subs should have dirty minds, as part of their job is to scan pages for any unintended clashes, particularly between news stories with adverts.
This stomach-churning story ran in the Daily Mail …
… and was then picked up by News.com and thence chosen as a story for the Townsville Bulletin (thanks, guys). Now, in properly run papers, running any sort of ad for food on the same page as this story would be avoided. But not the good old Astonisher, which even managed to make the blunder worse.
Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to get hold of the full page – we weren’t quick enough – but you’ll get the idea from what we did manage to snap …
And for those of us with the age (not maturity) to remember Johnny Craddock say that “today viewers I am going to show you how to make your doughnuts look like Fanny’s”
Hey Laughing Boy, what’s a fanny???
You been drinking at the Sovereign all these years, Plucker?
Plucker
Just for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWUsv8wCNUg
Pie,
Could it be that the Astonished is now cheesed off with the TCC and this sort of thing is one way to express it, or is that too subtle?
So the Qld Govt only last year rejects funding the southern rail corridor to the Townsville port because it doesn’t see value in the project and not enough demand on the line to warrant the spend, despite the federal Govt having already allocated half the funding in the budget. So the federal money is then allocated to the port upgrade project, a state owned asset, then suddenly the Qld state govt decide to dramatically increase the amount of traffic on the line to the port by funding a rail depot at the port, now many more trains will have to run through the suburbs to get to the port, because the southern rail corridor has been scrapped, just how fucking stupid are these people.
Cantankerous, it’s possibly something to do with the squillions that federal Labor was going to spend repairing, enhancing and expanding the Mount Isa to Townsville railway line that was washed away in the floods out west – that now won’t be spent or at least won’t be supplied by Canberra. Now, if the northern Galilee coal miners want to put up some of the money the port rail link might come faster. But most likely they’ll wait patiently for Canberra or Brisbane to come up with the taxpayer goods; it’s worked well so far.
Absolutely nothing to do with that, it’s for container transfers direct onto rail at the port, rather than on to trucks and out to Stuart , it sounds good in theory but in fact they are simply taking containers off trucks that use the southern road access very efficiently and putting them onto trains to lumber through the suburbs down to the port at very slow speeds adding to already slow intersections along the route, it just a really stupid decision without the southern rail corridor project as part of it, probably something cupcake came up with to make it look like they were doing something.
You might be right about Private Cupcake (the hapless, disappointing and incompetent ALP state member for Townsville) and the trains Tanker. He does after all specialise in the gravy train and will be trying to stay aboard it come the next state election.
Won’t work though – a third term for him and the other two losers is not an option for our community – two terms of plucking nothing deserves nothing in return.
No more dredging are you saying there is nothing in the Queensland State budget tomorrow night ?. So the billions in mining royalties, state payroll tax, Queensland’s share of the gst on everything supplied to the Galilee Basin isn’t enough for the Palaszczuk Government to find some $ to support the Townsville -Mt isa rail network .
No Mike, I’m expecting there will be a load of coal/rail money from Labor.
Mike, I noticed this par in the North West Star (Mount Isa) newspaper:
“The Queensland government says a half a billion dollar plan to reduce access charges and build a new container port in Townsville will boost mineral freight exports on the Mount Isa railway line.”
I see a question in the Astonisher this morning from a TTE. What happened to the Peter Lawson original art work and other paintings that adorned the Townsville Hospital corridors? Good question.
Let’s hope they are in storage and not hanging in people’s private collections.
Oops, bet someone’s just soiled their small clothes, as they say in the classics.
If the Arsestonisher had any real journo`s they`d get over to TTH super fast and ask this question face to face with his radiance. Have a snoop around first and look in offices of the exec and than you can ask questions to which you already know the answer, if the pics are adorning these offices instead of on show for the public.
I think mayor mullett is really effed.
All the “old mates appointments” that deserted the ship prior to the federal election, would have done so in the expectation of sharing in the “Federal labour largesse” of appointments on offer following an expected easy Labor win.
The fact they have not returned after an astonishing defeat with begging bowl in hand would seem to indicate they see no long term future for the mullet’s prospects of retaining office.
Flossy unfortunately it just means Townsville is stuck with a whole herd of labor mates with their noses in the TCC trough. They are now holding on tightly to the last remaining safe labor jobs while they last. They may not be as notorious or as unlikeable as the likes of the Impaler, the Midget or Mr Thompson, but they are still there.
https://www.facebook.com/pat.coleman.90/videos/10157480466638447/?t=0 Bye bye Clive – Exit stage left . This is footage of workers dismantling Clive Palmers office in Denham st Townsville between 6-7am this morning 11/6/19 . It was taken on my phone.
The Height Of Hypocrisy Award of the Week.
This is somewhat out of the Nest’s usual baliwick, but the stunning double standard of British MP Norman Lamb gets the gong.
He is the chair of the British parliamentary committee in London which grilled Huawei’s security and privacy executive John Suffolk over the company’s activities. Quoting the report published by the Australian Policy and Strategic Institute which highlighted Huawei’s role in enabling China’s internal surveillance, repression and persecution of various minorities, Lamb led himself to the slaughter when he haughtily asked Suffolk ‘Should we do business with a company that is complicit in human rights abuses?’
This coming from a man whose government annually sells billions worth of deadly armaments to Saudi Arabia, and many corrupt African regimes. Pompous wanking hypocrite, mate.
Sports writing goes hilariously mystical. The ‘Pie hasn’t stopped laughing as he imagined the looks on the average AFL reader’s face silently trying to pronounce a word, let alone know what it means.
This line from a Guardian (where else?) sports reporter about a stand-out performance by a Carlton player on Saturday, in a week when the club faced many internal troubles.
Quote: ‘In a week where the commentary around the club was eschatological, and with his side goalless’.Unquote
And to allow Magpie readers to avoid the same fate:
eschatology | ˌeskəˈtäləjē |
noun
the part of theology concerned with death, judgment, and the final destiny of the soul and of humankind.
I always thought it was a salad vegetable. In fact, the real meaning sounds like a judgement on MKR.
The things you see in the Astonisher!
Came accross a copy of Saturday’s Astonisher yet to make it to the guinea pig cage, and there’s a lovely big photo of Joe Carey and Matt Thompson (former council CFO).
Well Joe… you got yerself a live one there. Having run into Matt a few times myself, he sure can talk things up and makes Tim Shaw look like a trainee salesman. Not sure I’d be proudly announcing that acquisition around town, but whatever floats your boat.
Should be an ideal fit with Joe Carey
Agree with you there. Something not quite right about Careys and he’ll be a good fit.
Years ago I went for a job with Carey’s. The interview was conducted under false pretenses to “test” me and to see how badly I wanted the job. The job offer was slow and vague and was not for the job I had originally applied for. The offer also involved a level of closeness I wasn’t up for. I couldn’t decline the offer fast enough. And I’ve often wondered what happened to the poor desperate person that took up that offer.
This has been sent in by someone called Non … it seems worthy of publicity, but The Magpie would like to emphasise that he has no way of verifying the information, although it sounds about par for the course. Any one who knows anything further ?
NON:
A public service announcement I hope you can share. Today I called the Government Flood Recovery hotline to finally apply for the grant promised from the February floods. $1000 per adult and $300 per dependent child. After discussing the mould damage, they informed me the rule had changed. Mould was now not covered. When asked why the sudden rule change, the guy on the phone said ‘the local mayor made the announcement at the time’ and this was in fact a mistake. The grants were given after a lot of angry applicants called, repeating the ‘mould’ inclusion decision, so the government buckled under pressure and paid. The guy on the phone said that all of these payments will be audited later in the year and refunds required if substantial evidence is not provided (of flood damage, not mould). I hope you can pass on this information as there will be a lot of people who won’t have the money, and may need to start saving now. Cheers.
Only in Townsville can someone knock down a shitty old shop, put in a laneway and describe it as a “ transformation of the CBD” and make the front page of the paper, sounds like the Mullet has once again taken over the editing at the Astonisher.
Indeed, the construction itself is to be lauded, as a courageous punt boost on the prospects for the CBD, but there are plenty of other bits of that jigsaw still missing. So, yes, the Astonisher does no one any service by falling for the Mullet’s re-election agenda of -as she has done from Day Dot – oversell marginal benefits. It’s a dangerous game she’s playing, probably out of desperation. The very real risk for her is if this strategy is blown to bits – like, say, the battery factory people deciding on one of the other eight Australian sites under consideration, her blather will come back to bite her. The ‘Pie would love the CBD to become vibrant once again, with free market forces swooping in with confidence and reason, but it is an error to alone, simply adopt the movie motto ‘build it and they will come’ peddling hope without reason is both cruel and in the case of Jenny and the Bulletin, basely self-serving. Indeed, so much blind, unresearched faith being put in our new taxpayers nightmare of a stadium really does make it our ‘Field Of Dreams’. But Lozza Lancini is no Kevin Costner.
I wonder how much of ‘The Smiling Tiger’ aka Lancini’s loot has been put into Martin Lock’s venture.
TCC Fleet budget has been cut from 21 million to 12mill. Where’s the money gome?
Probably found they didn’t have to spend that much money on fleet procurement since ‘old mate’ retired from fleet early in the year.
Budget, I guess the fleet will no longer be driving around looking for a shovel to lean on.
That’s a knee jerk cliche that you ought apologise for (seriously). These blokes aren’t sitting in an air-conditioned room, in front of a keyboard, they are out in the blazing sun or other testing elements – and if you’ve ever watched a council outdoor gang work, yes, there are times when one or more has to stand back and let someone more qualified do some element of the job. Lean on their shovel, maybe, but there still out there in the sun, in heavy hi-viz gear and don’t suddenly disappear to the pub. They are not a bloody chain gang, Dredger, they are employed workers. Lift your game, mate, your’e better than that.
Sorry, I was at a meeting and let my words be taken out of context. What I actually meant was I guess the (royal limousine or business class airline) fleet will no longer be driving (the mayor, councillors, Murdoch reporters and hangers on) around looking for a (worksite somewhere in the country, with free drinks and shade, where they can bludge on a Council worker for a lend of a) shovel to (dig themselves into an even deeper hole rather than use the thing to) lean on.
Everything after the first word was a waste of time.
You would be keen to know that because of cut backs to service in this city that you and the public don’t see, there aren’t any crews searching for shovels as you put it. Do you see the famous “blitz crews” anywhere anymore? There are some more numbers on certain things in this budget that won’t see the light of day because it’s no point trying to make it public when you have a newspaper that won’t allow an underlying problem to be printed. There are so many projects this council is involved in that will not benefit the public, WHY is council getting into property investment to let a developer build ac across from city lane?.
Our engineers and fitters are waiting to leave because they have mining jobs already offered. Who will keep the water running and the toilets flushing? These are the quiet issues that should be reported by a news service but never have anyone to ask the questions. I have much more if your interested. I know the magpie always is.
Anyone ever wonder how much asbestos is being shuffled around at the dump after the rain event and not being catalogued properly. Thats a serious health threat that other councils in NSW have been sacked over. But I guess your impression of a lazy shovel leaning crew is what you really believe is our council. That sort of response is why we have a dictator mayor with no checks on her.
Christ, NMD, who the hell are you to talk about digging yourself out of a hole?
Your smartarse mouth just ran off that little bit too much this time. Dare – double dare – you to repeat what you said at the Dalrymple this friday afternoon.
‘In a meeting” my arse. Unless you’re at the DHS, now that O’Toole’s office has closed. Or did you get a job with the state drones?
Grumps, wondered where you’d got to. Haven’t been inside the Dally since I got plastered there on my 21st.
And NMD have ever thought why when you turn that tap or flush that toilet why that happens. It’s not a miracle. Why traffic lights work.
All maintained by council workers.
Err, yes, but don’t think the council does traffic lights. If Jenny had a say in that, all the lights would be flashing orange for ‘warning, trouble ahead, go slow’.
Pie, In all my years at council, the electricians maintained the traffic light system in this city in conjunction with DMR.
OK, accept that … strange arrangement for the DMR, legally dangerous too if something goes wrong, the finger-pointing would be endless.
Well that’s a truckload more than the ‘additional’ 2% that we were told it was going to be cut
I guess since Adle has gone council can save big time in flights back and forward to the Sunny Coast and Adelaide.
Budget, That’s relatively easy to get to that figure. All they have to do, is stick to the existing policies on plant & vehicle replacement.
1. Refuse fleet – 5 to 7 years.
Heavy Trucks – 10 years.
Light vehicle diesels – 5 years or 150,000kms
Light vehicle & passenger petrol – 5 years or 75,000kms
But when it comes to councillors vehicles, it becomes open slather after each election. New vehicles purchased every 4 years, no matter the age of the outgoing councillors vehicle.
Any further word out there about the chest thumping inquiry re the big floods earlier this year. Other than we copped a shit load of rain, have the ‘investigators’ come up with anything more to explain why every suburb each side of the river managed to be in 1-2 metres of water ?
Good question, but not even sure who to ask what the f they’re doing?
Anybody?
Looks like its still in progress and it might take some time yet
https://www.igem.qld.gov.au/Pages/reviews-in-progress.aspx
Indeed. Trust you can keep an eye on this for us, please.
Just in case they run short:
Mix 2 cups of salt with 1 gallon of warm water and stir to dissolve the salt.[2]
Add 6 to 8 cups of hydrated lime to the salt water.
Mix well until the lime is dissolved.
???? Sorry, The ‘Pie is a bit slow in the AM. Don’t get it.
Why, that’s the recipe for good ol’ fashioned whitewash
Good shot … too subtle for The ‘Pie but v funny thanks to all the other readers who know all about whitewash.
Hahaha seriously funny Pap. But I think there’s a factory somewhere that churns it out in tanker loads. It also created 30 jobs for the local community.
‘Pie, it’s a recipe for making whitewash.
In response to PAP, I think it is a recipe for Whitewash, and perhaps he is referring to the outcome of the review being whitewashed.
Christ, and The ‘Pie thought he had a misspent youth!
An early bird who did not get it
In Darwin this week, tonight they had their V8’s truck convoy through town and it left Townsvilles for dead. Just after sundown the streets are blocked off and all the team trucks plus a few more and some cars make there way down Mitchell St and through town, lights flashing and horns blowing. Pubs and bars are all full, the mall is full of families with the kids all running around, outdoor food vans and bands playing, a real atmosphere.
Just like the football which hasn’t changed for 10 years it’s time for Townsville to start mixing things up a bit across all its events and not keep offering the same thing time after time, Townsville ain’t dead, it’s just asleep at the wheel.
Anyone on our 3 local State MP,s email, facebook or any other contact the Palaszczuk Government must have re-allocated some of the $1.5 bil in consultants fees and FIFO in spin doctors because Aaron, Scott, Coralee have photos of every $ (including a fence at Willows State School) committed in Townsville from tuesdays budget . Even trying to get on board our State of Origin win by announcing ” new figures show Queensland winning the economic State of Origin ” . Considering per person , Queenslands State debt is 25% higher than most other States it clearly reflects their desperation that they are doing their jobs .
This Qld State budget again demonstrates that Labor is addicted to debt and is unfit to govern. It has been ever thus since Whitlam was PM, and probably earlier but my memory only goes back so far.
The Greeks found out the hard way that debt and deficit can only keep the good times going for so long then misery. Puddleduck is taking Qld down the same path.
Saw in the media this morning that there is the prospect that SEQ is a likely contender to get the Olympic Games for 2032. That’s South East Queensland …… NOT Queensland. Just goes to prove that SEQ is a State of it’s own. We need to secede to form a seperate State north of the Tropic of Capricorn before we are left with the debt for this grandstanding load of wank.
While it easy to make your case (with which bThe ‘Pie agrees, with the apprehension of us just getting another mob of blow-ins, spivs and crooks) there is a much broader argument not just for Queensland but Australia to ACTIVELY NOT bid for the Games. If you look back at the cities that have hosted the modern Games, like Athens, Los Angeles, Rio et al, it is a rort fest spectacular which does not an iota for the wider community. Wank is the word … but an expensive one.
Bit like the V8s….
DR,
Not sure about a separate state of Nth Qld. I would like the upper house reinstated consisting of 3 or 4 members from each local government area and elected at the same time as the local elections. I lament that this will probably never happen. Your thoughts?
P.S. Australia needs an Olympic Games as much as a hole in the head.
Why? There are 13 or 14 seats above the tropic of Capricorn, if Nth Qld was even half smart a NQ party could hold the balance of power after every state election, and demand what it wanted, if NQ was half smart that is.
That is a far more achievable and sensible idea than all the totally unattainable ‘new state’ baloney, an idea in itself not baloney but any serious suggestion is everf attainable – ever- is complete unrealistic bollocks. But a standard Astonisher attention deflector. Besides, to we really want another whole new set of trough-swilling power-playing self-seekers infesting the place?
Some would say the Mad Katter Party is a defacto NQ State Party. And I might agree if the leader wasn’t such a nutcase, taking on all sorts of issues with only slightly more consistency than One Nation. If this is the sort of leader that inspires Nth Qlders, I’m on the next flight to Sydney!
NQ sure does need a block of like minded pollies that will vote together on issues that truly reflect the best interests up this way. But fixed 4-year terms with a single house (no Senate), means the majors stay in complete control and won’t make it easy for their brethren to cross the floor – so it won’t happen in my lifetime.
You would be surprised at how easy it is to actually start a political party, 500 members at $1 each and you are away. The current level of disenchanted voters wold also help attract people to the party and build a database from there. Political parties are also exempt from privacy laws and do not call registers so you can actually reach a lot of people that the ordinary person can’t. The big thing you would have to do is have 3 very recognisable people to stand in the 3 most winnable seats with one being an absolute standout, someone who cuts across the divide plus other candidates in other seats. The 3 most winnable seats would be those where the primary vote for an incumbent is in the 30’s, but you don’t want it so low that you actually drop the incumbent from the number open spot, you have to come in second and rely on the preferences of 3 and 4 to get you over the line. I think a seat like Mundingburra would be a prime seat to target, Whitsunday and Barron River would be others where a good local candidate could get up.
Not the two oither Townsville seats? All three are super vulnerable. This sounds like a good idea.
Cantankerous, isn’t that exactly what Clive Palmer tried to do – and threw away $50 million in the process?
Pie, in Townsville the gap between ALP and LNP was too narrow, only about 2% on first preferences so even if you split that 1st preference vote evenly it will be very hard to land in the middle of that range, where as Mundingburra has a 6% split and a much lower KAP and ONP vote which I think would swing to a popular candidate. Thuringowa could be an option but the large vote of the KAP and ONP would mean you could actually get one of them elected as they had 36% combined 1st preference vote, it could get real messy. Much also depends on the candidates and who runs again, if Casie Scott has another run in Townsville she will probably get up anyway and sneak home if she can lift her primary vote to 35%, which I think she could do.
That seems well analysed. The ‘Pie believes Casie Scott will have another gallop, she wasn';t exactly blasted out of the contest last time around. Bet thgere will be a closer watch on the count next time, particularly absentee and postal votes.
“Adani is a go”
I wonder what will happen to the on again/off again airport commitment now from TCC?
Will be one to sit back and watch
You know we’re stuffed when Jacqui Lambie gets into the senate for 6 years and Jim Molan doesn’t.
Tasmania, you are dead to me
Many years ago I was a staff member in a HQ commanded by Jim Molan. He was known, respectfully, as Gentleman Jim Molan and had been for years. He has a huge interlect, compassion and sence of humor. What a loss to the Parliament.
Now compare that to Jacqui bloody Lambie who got demoted from the rank of CPL for insubordination or similar. We can thank Clive bloody Palmer for giving this Trollope political oxygen. (Yes Trollope, remember the radio interview, all she wanted was a man with a ‘big package.)
I suspect Gentleman Jim was put in an unwinable position on the ballot paper because of his capacity for analysis and critical thinking. He would have been a threat to docile party hacks.
The ‘Pie is a bit confused with this, Dave … The ‘Pie has always admired Trollope as a fine writer, and although he too had a ‘huge interlect’, don’t recall him giving any radio interviews. Or ‘she’, as you seem to suggest there was some gender fluidity, as the Pope terms it.
Yes, all right. Delete the ‘e’. trollop
The day has not been a complete waste of time. I got to clean out the inside of the caravan toilet cassette and learn about a Victorian era novelist.
And even massaged your spelling intelegence.
DoK – Molan was a First Class when I was a Fourth Class, if yoou get my meaning…
Care to share with everyone else, boys?
From today’s Australian
The parliamentary future of Mr Molan, who polled more than 112,000 first preference votes in the federal election and secured the highest personal vote in the country, is still uncertain.
Despite the dramatic result, Mr Molan conceded his senate spot on Wednesday. There is still a possibility he could find his way back into the senate and last week said he would put his hand up for a casual vacancy when NSW senator Arthur Sinodinos takes up his post as Australia’s Ambassador to Washington.
The Queensland State government, if you can call it that, has decided to give Palm Is. a splash pool, I thought that the place had a brown water problem, are they expecting the Feds to cough up? Private Cupcake, Harpic and O’rout seem to be very effective members.
Has Mullet gifted the CFMMEU multiple free-kicks???
7 local news tonight covered the lock-in of Rocket Man for the Stadium opening in late Feb 2020; it also questioned whether the stadium would in fact be ready in time. When Mullet was asked the question she unequivocally stated that ‘It will be ready’. Not, it has to be ready, it should be ready, we certainly hope it’s ready, we have a back up plan with Mr Rocket Man now locked in, but ‘It WILL be ready’. The CFMMEU union rep was also interviewed and stated that health and safety had noted 22 breaches in a couple of days at the site against the lead contractor.
Is Mullet a clairvoyant – does she have a Tradis? How can she make such a statement in June 2019? Has she gifted the Union thugs further financial bargaining tools to hold the project to ransom with the contractors? Was it the giddy statement of a star-struck aging rocker? What is the plan if it is not ready?
How much longer can our community sustain such an inept and hapless plucker in the role of Mayor?
Big difference in having the stadium ready for a concert v a footy match plucker, all they need for a concert is a stage, some chairs and a few food vans, for a footy match they need all the catering, corporates facilities, signage, communications etc, those are all the things that take a lot of time once the main construction is done.
Bullshit Tankers! A significant international act like Reggie Dwight will require a fully completed and operating stadium – the paying punter will expect no less and won’t be able to enter the venue unless it is ready and has been signed off as safe! It’s supposed to be the stadium opening, not the next round of battle of the bands!!!
Won’t happen, will be a soft opening and then closed for 6-8 weeks after to finish services.
Whaaa ….? Add to Trumpism, and Bannonism, – ‘Onanism’.
