Power dining in the ‘Ville – a tale of the Townsville Mullet, the Sydney Fishmonger and Labor’s legendary kneecapper, Richo Richardson, who get their heads together at Richo’s local restaurant.

But Mayor Mullet won’t be too pleased with the timing, with today’s announcement that the Labor powerbroker is to be investigated for fiscal naughtiness by NSW’s ICAC.

BUT BEFORE WE GO ANYWHERE, will someone who knows please tell the ‘Pie this is photo-shopped.

Because if it isn’t, the opposing mindsets are even worse than we’ve realised, it ain’t funny.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE – SUNDAY AM.

Yes, it is photo-shopped, confirmed by Snopes. This is the original shot (maybe wrong word to use).

But still isn’t funny.

Moving on, and back to the ‘Ville, where the waft of a cacky smell … that would be an ICACcy smell … was floating about the Strand recently.

Yup, our fair burg gets an unwelcome gig in the national media today from one of the nation’s top investigative journalists. And while guilt by association is to be frowned upon in terms of fairness, that is generally ignored in politics.

So make what you will of this article in this morning SMH by the redoubtable Kate McClymont, who had a hand in the undoing of Mooney campaign donor, the execrable Eddie Obeid. It is a chickens-coming-home-to-roost yarn of general interest – except The ‘Pie sat up when we get to the bottom of the story and read

‘In July this year Mr Richardson and his friend Danny Meares, of Danny’s (Sydney) Seafood fame, bought the Watermark Restaurant on The Strand in Townsville for $3.6 million.

Mr Richardson, who introduced Mr Meares to the deal, owns 10 per cent of the purchasing company, Farnorth Properties.

In September Mr Richardson, who works as a political commentator for News Corp and Sky News, used Twitter to post a photo of himself celebrating his 65th birthday at his new restaurant with the Mayor of Townsville, Jenny Hill.’

When you’re a political powerbroker of this stature, it’s surely unusual to spend a milestone birthday with just anybody, anywhere, not when the world’s your oyster and you can take the family anywhere in the world. Of course, The Magpie is mystified how a totally self-declared independent mayor like The Mullet could allow herself, and her city to be seen in what some would believe to be such questionable Labor company. (The ‘Pie has no reason-at this stage-to believe that that descriptor includes Mr Meares.) But then again, Richo had just done her first mayoral campaign fundraiser that evening.

The Magpie’s bet: keep an eye out for one Jennifer Hill on the next Queensland Senate ticket for Labor. After all, with friends like that …

You can file that under fearless Magpie predictions, since the old bird is feeling quite chipper about his crystal ball gazing. Raggers Raggatt breathlessly tells us in today’s Astonisher that Woolworths is moving down and along Sturt Street to new Lancini digs in the Cat and Fiddle Arcade between Sturt and Flinders..

Ahem, (modest cough, and downcast eyes as he humbly examines his fingerclaws). In the blog of 18^th of October, The Magpie let that cat out of the bag. Nice to see Raggers is keeping up with the Magpie goss, even if it takes five weeks for Lozza to officially spill the beans to him.

The Astonisher seems to be well into the silly season already, presenting the unedifying sight of two News Corpse mastheads- the Townville Bulletin and the Geelong Advertiser – squeaking on like to teenage schoolboys arguing about size behind the bicycle shed.

It all started with the reasonable storyline that Townsville is growing faster than Geelong, and we are ‘set’ to take over the mantle of 12^th largest city in Australia. Interesting if it wasn’t couched in such ludicrous terms of a contest. Something doesn’t sit right with prideful gloating and snide remarks about the misfortune of another Australian community, which really is going to do it tough. They’re still Aussies, no matter how far south they are. Especially given the a-grade whinging the Astonisher does about our various plights. Just good news without the over-florid gimcrackery would’ve been nice. And mature.

The silliest thing is that the words ‘set to overtake’ actually means in four years – maybe, all things being equal and whatnot. So it could be argued that it isn’t news at all, since it hasn’t happened, and if it does, it will be years away. ( Next week, High Speed Hover Train Link to Giru by 2175′.) Tony Raggatt baited the southern paper with a few snide comments, and the Geelong Advertiser retaliated with some bitch-slap comments of its own. Then Mayor Mullet, no doubt seeking to reinforce her ‘battler’s mayor’ credentials joined in, decrying their description of we good folk as ‘bogans and rednecks’ – which would be fine if only we would stop this sort of juvenile bogan and redneck nonsense in the first place. Then some complete malarkey that we could swim more months of the year up here. God, what are they gunna read as a ‘how not to’ in year 8 next year.

For The ‘Pie, the most fun was watching two failing Murdoch papers flailing away at each other like two drunken women at a Heatley Prawn and Pissup Barbie. But surely it’d sell more newspapers, you say? Not in Geelong – their web page ran hot with indignation that the paper even rose to the bait. Some papers – like people – grow up, some just grow older.

Down in Canberra, Foggy Bottom is all but deserted tonight, with the temporary denizens hi-ing their well-upholstered bums off home for the holiday break. There will be all sorts of different contemplations for different folks before they return to the capital.  Some will be hoping that the Clive Palmer thing can be solved off-shore.

Clive himself may be gazing nostalgically at two of his recently departed assets, in this before pic purportedly of himself and his driver  graphically shows … and looking a bit back-to-front, actually.

‘Recently departed assets?’… Well, that’s Larry Pickering’s eyewatering but accurate take on Senator/Surgeon Jacqui Lambie’s touching Chrissy gift to Wingnut.

And that parliamentary love-in exchange between The Short ‘Un and PM Wingnut was an irresponsible threat to viewers who suffer diabetes, but you have to get up early to fool Bentley, who translates the real message for us.

And the shining insincerity of the faux pally exchange between The Short Un and Wingnut made The ‘Pie think it would be a great idea if all politicians made a similar effort. Like say Mayor Mullet and Deputy Doo Dah Uncle Fester Veitch.

‘Err, Madam Mayor, I seek to make a brief statement, it bein’ Christmas and the season of goodwill and all that. We cross swords often in this chamber, often in a robust, and for some of us – no names no packdrill – a sneaky and snakey way. But recognizing that we should all go to our seasonal break in harmony and goodwill, I would like to say that during the year, you have been described in unfair and unflattering terms by some. This needs balance. There are those who suggested you’ve been out in a real good paddock for a while, and that you’ve failed in your search for that perfect hairdresser. That’s a little harsh, since it has not gone without notice your efforts to shed a kilo or ten, that you now keep the car window wound up when driving to work, and now do not wear the same outfit more than twice in the same week. You are to be congratulated in your efforts to present a positive and presentable face to this city’s official leadership. Certainly, it is a work in progress but I and my colleagues are confident will be fully realized at some stage in 2015. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year’.

The mayor rises regally to reply in kind.

‘Thank you, Deputy Doo Dah Veitch. Vern, there are those – even some on your own side of the chamber – who have characterized you as an over-bearing, none-too-bright bully determined to have your own way. They say you are sometimes prone to foul-mouthed outbursts and tantrums, especially if anyone says anything remotely critical about your precious boaties. These misguided people have painted you as power-drunk, Green-scheming and above all, boring. I will now take the opportunity to let you know, Vern, I do not agree with them – I have never found you boring. Merry Christmas and good fishing in 2015.’

Brings a tear to your eye, don’ it.

From the Uh-Oh, Dept of: White shoe brigade grub and rip-off artist Craig Gore is reported to be looking for suckers in a new venture which includes Port Hinchinbrook. You’ve gotta give it to him for gall. Even as a we await the verdict on this scoff-law’s fate for allegedly ripping off $4.75M from investors who believed their superannuation money would be used to buy distressed US properties, Gore is now reported to be a puppet master behind a crowd called Long Term Settlement Contracts (LTSC). Even the timelines are a bit whiffy – the Courier Mail’s Anthony Marx reports that the company gives investors the right to settle on properties in up to 10 year, starting at just under $20,000. Among the projects listed on their website is a $27million development at Port Hinchinbrook.

Anybody in Townsville with a reasonable memory of Gore’s mercifully ill-fated attempts at sharp practice regarding our port and the duck pond canal development would be doubly wary, although Gore denies any involvement in LTSC. However, the titular head of the company, one Matthew Airds, has nothing to say about the allegation. A classic case of caveat emptor.

The ‘Pie has been pre-occupied with some minor medical matters in the past week, so on such occasions, he always falls back on the wise understanding that there are those who fare worse than him in matters medical.

If that looks like nonsense, try this for size.

The Transparent Bullshit Quote of the Week has to go Dumbo Jones. From today’s Astonisher:

‘(I have) fixed the most contentious issues of the pay deal by reinstating leave and allowances, despite being unable to increase the 1.5 per cent offer.’

You did?!? This will come as a big surprise to Jacqui Lambie, but she surely thanks you for your helping hand. Thanks for the big-noting insult. You are a numbskull, mate.

And Parents of the Month – year –decade – go to Brisbane’s mum and dad The Bogerts, who placed this clever, affectionate and funny classified during the week.

And finally, here’s a different way to sell a car – better than going to the movies.