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The Magpie

Sunday, May 26th, 2019   |   125 comments

Political Re-Education, Democracy-Style: Don’t Lock ‘Em Up, Lock ‘Em Out

As the Labor back-room smarties examine the entrails of their dead dodo election campaign, the main message of the past week is to the LNP Government in Canberra: this could be you next time if you don’t take careful note the lesson you benefited from last weekend. Stop insulting voters.

That message is supported at the state level and is beautifully summed up by The Magpie’s award for Pic of the Week …

Addled Anna gives herself not one but two uppercuts over Adani …

Townsville Hospital has two labour wards – one for new bundles of joy, and the other – a Labor ward aka the Hospital Board – for old mates to receive a different bundle of joy.…

The Magpie remembers a very funny man who has left us … but left us laughing …

And as usual, all the doin’s from Trumpistan …

But first … and oh, Bentley’s on another break, yo ho ho-ing on a boat somewhere for a week or two. No doubt a bottle of rum will also be involved.

The Message Is Clear – Stop Messing With Us

It seems that the days of political patronising head-pats may be over. We are well used to them in this town, as typified by former state member Mike ‘Capt Snooze’ Reynolds, a champion political under-achiever whose personal bombast and overweening self regard made it impossible for him to a give straight answer to just about anything (or pass a mirror with pausing). Federal Labor outdid even him this time around, but we have learnt from him to be wary and impatient with anyone who starts a reply to any question with a portentous ‘First let me say this …’.

Poll Axed

The big losers on the weekend also were the polling outfits who uniformly got it wrong … so much so that the SMH and The Age declared they will no longer be publishing political polls by Ipsos. Loved Tim Fergusen’s line  ‘Newspoll got kicked in the statisticals.’

So Will The Party Machine Run More Smoothly With Albo-grease?

albo albanese

Anthony Albanese

Not for voters seeking a new vision. Labor has already passed up any opportunity for generational change, with an undisguised traditional factional dust-up shoehorning a veteran schemer into the top job.

Anthony Albanese is promising straight talk and a new raft of platform ideas, but one suspects it will just be business as usual, only more so. A political Fine Cotton affair, if you will. One thing is for sure, much of the new leader’s Albo-grease will go into trying to smooth the clanking factional machine behind Labor’s on-going woes.


Never doubt, we’d be more than happy top cut the thread.

But it would seem we can hope that the days of that airy dismissal of voters is coming to end … otherwise the end is coming for the politician who risks it. Low talk of splitting Queensland off from the rest of Australia – a Quexit, no less – is self-defeating talk …. The Magpie says BRING BIT ON! Let’s see how you all fair without the mineral, agricultural and tourism wealth we bring to the national table. Queenslanders in particular have had a gutfull. Impractical navel gazing has become a national pastime among the inner city elites, and now the darlings are looking a bit bewildered and more than a bit battered. The harshest critics are of course the Lefties themselves, like two of Crikey’s star writers.

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The back-slapping and self-congratulations in the LNP camp should be tempered with the knowledge of the short temper of the electorate, and that it could be THEM next time if they don’t stop treating half the country like backwoods gullible mugs – who apparently don’t need and aren’t entitled to reasonable jobs while gradual transition is engineered..

But It Only Hurts When I Laugh …

Plenty has been and will be said by far smarter commentators than The ‘Pie, so he will content himself with some of the lighter shafting of all sides that has dominated social media.

No matter what anyone says publicly, preference deals are just that … deals that involve policy. So some think this visual image is what we now have.IMG_5864

As the person who dropped that into the Nest said ‘Try and un-see this.’ Then there were the inevitable comparisons about another famous ‘un-loseable’ election.


And it seems Cathy O’Toole’s famous response a couple of years ago to media when she joined a demonstration outside her own office has now become a reality.


And we did in spectacular numbers.

But you can’t beat lightning quick opportunistic marketing, and this take the cake.


But There Are Some Who Won’t Be Laughing Soon

For some trough snurfflers, it is too late, the damage is done and is irreparable. The Astonisher (about two years behind The Magpie) has revved up its belated campaign of putting the boot up the coit of our three state stooges, with a blunt editorial headlined simply: Townsville’s Labor Trio Need To Wake Up, and that blast was run under a photograph, for which The ‘Pie has supplied the correct caption.

Is that the gravy train?

Our 3 political drones grinning farewell to we suckers as the Gravy Train pulls out of Townsville for their last trip south.

The ripest quote to hit our nostrils from these hapless individuals came from Scott Stewart, trying to re-write his disgraceful track record as a local member.

A clear message has been well and truly received by the Premier about the Townsville community wanting a decision one way or another and I am happy to see the Premier has acted swiftly on those concerns,” he said.

“The people of Townsville just want a swift and transparent process to ensure this project stacks up. Once that decision is reached, it’s then up to Adani, if successful, to get the shovels in the ground and deliver jobs for our city.

“I am firing a warning shot across the bow of Adani to warn them that jobs must be delivered for the people of Townsville. We will not accept an imported, casualised or automated workforce.”

Taking those three paragraphs of weasel words in order, each raise questions:

Par 1: That message was one you consistently failed to deliver yourself as our representative in Brisbane, instead choosing to be Brisbane’s representative in Townsville – and to describe the Premier’s action as swift suggests you are approaching a crisis of language – a sad situation for a former school teacher.

Par 2: So you’ve known what we wanted all along … and yet still showed utter cowardice by doing absolutely nothing to represent the people who put your ample arse on the well funded plush you enjoy. Par 3:

You ‘warn’ Adani?!? That word has to carry some further consequence, should your risible ‘warning’ not be heeded – like what? As they say in the westerns, watcha gunna do about it? And then – and this is the doozy of the lot – ‘We will not accept etc’. Again, or what? How are you going to police your empty bluster, Adani’s hiring policy and where those people live? Honestly Scott, you almost make Harpic look clever.

Editor’s Note: Apologies, weasels, for putting you in the same story as these three.

Anna And The King Of I Am

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Is this woman mentally impaired? Or does she just think we all are? This is straight out of the Donald Trump playbook. Premier Alphabet has effectively demanded action from herself on Adani’s Carmichael mega coalmine.

That was three days ago, but even today, our fed-up, had-a-gutfull premier was widening the us-and-them, city-country, north-south rift in Queensland. Announcing a new multi-million dollar theme park for the Gold Coast, she carelessly belittled the widely perceived importance of the Adani mine – and the vital jobs for the north that go with it. Boosting the theme park employment prospects, she deflected questions about her incredible back-flip by downplaying the Adani kerfuffle  ABC TV ‘(Adani) is just a small project in the terms of the whole scheme of investment we have seen in Queensland’.

Well, madam, if what we’ve seen from you on this ‘small project’, what chance of we got of hoping for competency and honesty on those investments you see as really important.

Christ, what a shambolic bumbler you are, Anna, old gal.

A Mealy Mouthed Mayor Mullet Has Two Bob Each Way As Is Usual For Our Independent Mayor

Jenny Hill image001

Our mayor clearly doesn’t which way to jump, she is so tied up in factional Labor matters, despite  – of course –  really being an ‘independent council leader’. She added exactly nothing except the bleedin’ obvious when she mewled: “Obviously Adani’s plans do need to be checked to ensure they can meet the environmental conditions laid down by the Federal Government as well as the State Government.”

A deep analysis worthy of Captain Snooze. And everybody seems to have missed the point … the timelines DO NOT  guarantee a ‘go ahead’ for the mine, just a decision one way or another. But think we know how that’ll go, given the meaning of ‘independent’ in the Queensland political lexicon.

This whole Adani thing has everyone tying themselves up in weird political knots.

Townsville Hospital Board: Still The Same Old Story About New Appointments

Nicole Hayeseef5a34279f4708ff9da6bdb7aec4dd5

Hospital Board appointee Nicole Hayes

An announcement during the week that one of the two new appointees (at about $50K per for a few meetings) was one Nicole Hayes, caused a bit of a flurry in the comments section of the Nest. That was because … if the feminists will forgive a chauvinist description … Nicole Mrs Dolan Hayes, himself being former Mooney media man, sometime Mullet whisperer and Labor backroom strategy whiz.

Ms Hayes is replacing the departed and unlamented Shayne Sutton (aka Mrs Stephen Beckett, hubby also now departed , and even less lamented) : she was one of the most egregious and blatantly political back scratching appointments to the board in recent times.

Commenters were not impressed, but The Magpie felt things were a tad unfair on the new appointee. These exchanges in comments sum it all up.

nick 1 Nicole Hayes 2 Screen Shot 2019-05-25 at 10.40.13 pm Screen Shot 2019-05-25 at 10.41.28 pm

BUT the most interesting aspect was the very last line of the Astonisher report, that said the recruitment process had been going on ‘since last September’. … that is even before The Screaming Midget Beckett disappeared from the TCC … therefore, it’s reasonable to assume the Becketts didn’t like Townsville (or The Impaler didn’t like Beckett) and they had well laid plans to return south. So it seems inescapable that Sutton was given a gift $44k for being a good Labor gal.

Oh, they’re cute, aren’t they?

Some Of The Weeks Miscellany

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Well, at his age, when The ’Pie is aroused, he gets out of bed to face the day. But was time when he didn’t need a newspaper or a scientist to tell him what happened he saw a well turned ankle.

And then this, the karma of the week …

Screen Shot 2019-05-24 at 4.40.37 pm

The marlin bounced back into the water and made a clean getaway.

And the news that Austrian F1 champion Niki Lauda had died, aged 70. A brave determined man … and also the object of one of the most unfortunate sporting commentary gaffes of all time. Legendary F1 commentator Murray Walker was calling the German Grand Prix at Nurburging in 1976 when the car of rising star Lauda went feral and slammed off the track and exploded in flames. Walker, a courtly man at all times, was deeply distressed seeing the car engulfed in flames, and blurted out ‘This is terrible, terrible, this flaming inferno … and inside is Niki Lauda, the toast of Europe.’  

The other notable passing of the week was US funnyman Tim Conway. Tim was perhaps best know to folks of The ‘Pie’s generation for his role as Ensign Parker in McHale’s Navy.


But he was also regular member of the wonderful sketch series, The Carol Burnett Show. His role as an inexperienced and timid dentist is comedy legend, and such was his comic genius that his fellow comedian in the sketch, Harvey Korman, lost it completely.

But perhaps even more famous now is a Burnett Show outtake that never went to air at the time, when Carol Burnett and Dick van Dyke couldn’t do their lines when Tim told his elephant joke … it took co-star Vicki Lawrence to top him in a great pay-off line.

Tim, who was 85, sure left us laughing.

The Week In Trumpistan

And it was tariffs and the President’s personal finances that attracted the most attention.

20190519edbbc-a 139_225402 Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c190523.tif 20190520edhan-a 20190516edhoc-a 20_225578 12_50 Bruce Plante Cartoon: Transparent Trump mra052219dapr-1 7_91 205_225543…………..

All done for this week, but don’t forget that you can comment (anonymously if you wish) 24/7, open Mullet season is now upon us. And if you can assist with a donation to help cover blog and associated costs, that would be greatly appreciated, the how to donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Spooka says:

    My blood always boils when reminded of continuing Labour ” Jobs for the boys” half of them are not in the can because of their stacking of the Qld Judicial system over decades. Mike Reynolds was a particularly obnoxious, slithering natural laxative. working with him made me sick. A prime example of a useless under achiever propped up by the equally useless Labour club, Geoff Smith was another prime example of a Taxpayer sponge we are still breastfeeding.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Spooka, I wonder if you ever look at appointments at the federal level? In recent months there have been a raft of appointments to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal (AAT) and a number of other federal tribunals. It goes without saying that most or all of the appointees have been LNP mates. It’s what governments do. Wait for the next round of diplomatic and other overseas appointments that will take care of recently retired LNP politicians. George Christensen will probably get appointed Consul-General to Manilla, with personal pilot and staff, to be served while still a sitting backbencher! And why not? He gained the biggest swing of any politician even after spending some major fraction of his paid working time pursuing personal projects in the Philippines. Personally, I don’t care, it’s par for the course. I don’t expect any government, local, state or federal to do otherwise but I am surprised that some people get so partisan and one-eyed about it.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Well pluck me NMD – where ya been this last week or so???

      • Alahazbin says:

        Gee! NMD. Your back, been a bit quiet lately.

      • Spooka says:

        Dredge, I am well aware of the LNP treating itself to “Jobs for the boys as well. Both ALP and LNP Politicians, state and federal are disgusting parasites when it comes to bleeding the system most of them set up for themselves over decades. I am at a loss to find a suitable derogatory description for them in any language. We can whinge all we like but we are defenceless against their corrupt behaviour and financial extortion they inflict upon taxpayers in this country year in year out with impunity. Qld Labour past and present for years have been right up there with the worst who indulge themselves in the financial rape of our country. The most devastating addition to most Governments Worldwide was the practice of allowing Lawyers into Public Service, their greed and cunning have no boundaries.

        • No More Dredging says:

          Spooka, I imagine you had a difficult time at the ballot box the other day. Being a democrat you would have exercised your freedom or perhaps obligation to turn up and do your duty. You would have been confronted with lists of names of persons for whom you were unable to think of “suitable derogatory description for them in any language”, but let’s just call them politicians or would-be politicians. They were all “taxpayer sponges we are still breastfeeding” but I bet you still voted for one, or in fact all of them. A number in every square to make sure your vote counted towards electing one of them “right up there with the worst who indulge themselves in the financial rape of our country.” You did that and now you’re whinging on here that they are a bunch of “disgusting parasites when it comes to bleeding the system most of them set up for themselves over decades”. WTF?

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Errr, NMD, best if you go ‘back off the air’ hey! What a load of plucking faeces.

          • Spooka says:

            Dredge, I had no difficulty voting as I voted informal. As I am close to the end of my life I don’t give a stuff what crooks run the country, as, in my opinion, there wasn’t a straight bastard amongst any of the incumbent or aspiring laxatives. You would know as well as I that our voting system is an ALP/LNP favouring system purposely and jointly set up by both of them to ensure no others will ever run this country, others may have a say but will never form Government. It is a shame to see the world as it today, I feel for my Children and grandchildren’s future, a future on a razor’s edge and a future selfishly designed and implemented by supposed honourable men FFS. You say WTF, I say to you WTF, it’s my opinion and just as you are, i am entitled to it.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Spooka, you are a first for me – a voter who admits they deliberately voted informal. Did you leave the ballot paper blank? Having said that, how else can you expect the system to change if you, and everyone else, don’t actually vote? I gather from your posts that you aren’t and possibly were never a Labor voter? I decided a long time ago that I’m not a ‘true believer’, not ‘rusted on’ to anyone. That way my vote won’t be taken for granted. I can change my mind at the polling booth and put the bastards last if I think they’ve turned on me. And with gusto! Just ask Cathy O’Toole and her Galilee Basin pledge.

          • Fishframe says:

            Statistically, an informal vote was beneficial to LNP win if you voted in Herbert. Dawson not so much. But thank you for supporting LNP.

  2. Cloudy says:

    My parents were Labour supporters and so was I! Please note past tense. Since our dealings with the Labour Council in Townsville area and the exposure of their tactics (not sure that is the right word as this insinuates they have an ability to plan) in your articles plus Ms Premier ‘pretending’ to be outraged over Adani so conveniently after the election, I have gone completely overboard with my political views. No, Clive and Pauline are definitely not within radar. I appreciate your insights which give us the lowdown on dare I say the ‘low life’ who pretend to be working for the people!! You’re right about politicians, well most of them, who insult the voters. Shouldn’t watch the news when I’m eating. Get terrible indigestion!

    • Alahazbin says:

      Cloudy, I suppose this is the right time to tell you.

      • The Magpie says:

        Ah well, yes and no … if you’re talking about the political party, no, but if your talking about what politicians rarely do, then yes, there is .

      • Kingswood says:

        Thankyou! I’ve been itching to say it while reading comments from those who say they worked with members or voted for them long term….

  3. Mark the Jazz says:

    Pie old mate not sure your obsession with Trump is healthy!

    • The Magpie says:

      That is PRECISELY the attitude Trump is counting on to remain as the greatest and most dangerous shyster America has ever known. And therefore the world. He is counting on folks like you – through simple repetition and denial of reality – to accept the abnormal and illegal as normal and legal. In terms of caring about democracy and decency, The ‘Pie’s refusal to do so is healthier than your lazy discomfort and alternative morality.

      • Mark the Jazz says:

        Wow you don’t know me, I thought you were meant to be objective. Insults went out of fashion last weekend mate.

        • The Magpie says:

          What insults? A healthy and robustly direct comment in reply on an idea you put forth is exactly what the comments section of The Nest is all about. And where do you get the strange idea that The ‘Pie is, or is required to be objective. To reasonably voice an opinion is why people have blogs. Anyway, you clearly thought The ‘Pie was not being objective, a comment he reasonably explained was not correct. Oh dear, have you been insulted again? There, there, here’s a hanky.

        • Rusty Nail says:

          You won’t win, Mark. Just do what the rest of us do and put up with the Trump shit (or don’t bother with it – it’s up to you)

          • The Magpie says:

            Oh, FFS, what’s to win? You’re right … don’t like it, don’t read it, easy to skip.

          • Ando says:

            “put up with the Trump shit”
            Haha that’s what the whole world has been doing for a while now.

    • Dave of Kelso says:


      My health would be improved if we had a Collective of Cartoonists that would daily expose the obnoxious, slithering natural laxitives (jobs for the laxitives) but I doubt any editor would publish.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Mark the Jizz, Trumpistan is my weekly dose of what’s good in this world, and this week got to have a even better laugh thinking about all those funny shows and scenes with Tim Conway, he was one funny bastard, gee I miss good comedy.

  4. Frequent flyer says:

    God help us.
    We’ve got the Mullet, the 3 stooges, Anna Alphabet, Trump and now that looney Boris Johnson is tipped to become PM of Britain.
    But we did get a lucky break when Shorten got shortened up.
    Hope the Libs or some decent independents are going to contest the State and Local government elections.

  5. Mundingbird says:

    The Toole one is a Cracka!
    Good riddance to another pest that achieved bugger all.
    The 3 stooges will be next.

  6. Sir Rabbittborough says:

    In honour of our illustrious council team, perhaps pie, you might rename the regular segment of your blog “This week in FRUMPISTAN”

  7. Dave Sth says:

    On one of my last trips north in a couple of weeks. Just wondering anyone recommend a good Real Estate Agent that services the Northern Beaches, I don’t care if I have to pay a little more commission just after someone who is attentive. Having previously rented through Gribbin & LJ Hooker Hermit Park also seeing neighbours houses neglected by others majors I have low opinions on whats on offer around, when we rented through Rising Sun Realty who Mary Gingerenti (God bless her soul) ran it was a pleasure so I think smaller is better sometimes.

    • Cord says:

      Helen Munro

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Shit Dave, you are going to have a hundred real estate agents swamping Pies nest, that’s all we need. Seriously though I like you prefer small and direct with the person in charge, I have sold 4 properties from Rangewood to Hermit PK over the last 10 years or so with Ian Clarke and he handles all my rentals, really laid back bloke and tells it straight. Most of all I like the fact that he has never once told me I should spend money and advertise a property in the Astonisher.

  8. Narbloc says:

    Nicole Hayes is teacher and in the past she ran the school at TTH and for some years she ran the Learning program for Ronald McDonald House for all of North Queensland ensuring kids who had missed a lot of their schooling were able to catch up. She’ll be a good addition to the hospital board.

    • The Magpie says:

      Totally agree – as pointed out by The Magpie, Nicole hayes qualifies for the job in more ways than one – but the perception of a vicarious kick-back of sorts to Dolan was always going to be there, rightly or wrongly. And this of course was not helped by Mooney’s previous appointment of Shayne Sutton and his comment (upon which he did not expand) that he thanked Shayne for her great contribution to the Board. Now that was bullshit, as was that appointment in the first place, so all his subsequent choices will be examined and initially judged in that light. Mrs Hayes is the unfortunate beneficiary of Mooney’s politically driven nappointment policy.

      NB Yes yes, an ‘independent board does the vetting etc, but The ‘Pie is yet to hear of an appointment not either recommended or ultimately approved by His Radiance. And BTW, Gracelyn Smallwood resigned of nher own accord, said to be packing it in because she’s getting on a bit now (70-ish).

  9. Mike Douglas says:

    Anyone who employs a Millennial or Gen Z will understand this .On top of Millennials believing baby boomers have ruined their lives because we have had it so well comes post election syndrome (perhaps we can call it PES) at Sydney University . Greenpeace is conducting “break free ” training courses for students who cant cope with election results . Students at Sydney University have described Labors loss as “existentially dire” which is based on severe desire anxiety for students May 2019. See what happens when we wrap kids in cotton wool like ” we dont have scores anymore in junior sports as we dont want the children to experience losing “. Speaking of Universities, a national paper says Sandra Harding should go after the Peter Ridd affair and JCU are downgrading their student enrolment by over $20 mil because of a decrease in enrolments .

    • No More Dredging says:

      “A national paper says . . .” No need to be coy, Boy. The Australian has been spruiking for Ridd since day one. But then they were all over S18C until Abbott fell in a stupid heap. Fair weather friends I reckon.

  10. Ducks nuts says:

    Well the Astonisher has beaten you Magpie. I’m a bit astounded they did some actual reporting.

    Matt Thompson Chief Financial Officer of TCC on extended leave.

    Only he’s not. All his financial delegation and access has been removed, as has he.

    ‘nuther one bites the dust

    • The Magpie says:

      Think if you check back in the comments of the last couple of weeks, you will see the obvious original tip about Thommo’s departure that the Astonisher, yet again, followed up. Well done, citizen journalist.

    • Alacan says:

      Timing .. sounds like a budget disagreement with HWTM perhaps

    • Critical says:

      Comment I heard was that he was too honest for Mullet and had problems in completing the 2019/2020 in a format which painted the TCC budget in format which presented the cities budget in a favourable situation to the average citizen but in fact was quite misleading. Oh well, 10 more months until we get the opportunity to boot her out but what lies and misleading propaganda are we in for between now and then.

      • The Magpie says:

        While what you say may well be correct about the way this upcoming budget will be framed (easy to guess in the looming election cycle) the real horror which endure long after she has gone is what she has left her successor to clean up. No one can have any confidence in what this morally shape-shifting woman says, particularly on finances, an area in which she is most cavalier and most basely ignorant. Indeed, it may be a good election to lose for her, because everything will unravel fairly quickly if the books reveal what some senior business people suspect … and dread … about our city’s finances.

        • Alahazbin says:

          “shape – shifting” Pie? Are you referring to that ghastly purple dress she wears every second day?

        • DEADTOOLE says:

          My liberal and labor party friends in TCC have been told that theres more cuts to there budgets, apparently because of the floods which will be front of center for the public. There services are going backwards. Lawn mowing routines are less frequent now, still alot of potholes everywhere. And I see the waste collection is changing for the future on the TCC Facebook page, what the Fuck does that mean. I’ve seen some of there vehicles driving around how they are road worthy is a mystery. Time will tell.

          • Ducks nuts says:

            Can’t piss all that money away on overseas junkets, shiny reports written by expensive consultants on lagoons, hilltop eateries, and beautifying the city, that all amount to nothing except a bunch of good deals for your mates; without having to make cuts somewhere. It’s not as if the garbage is an essential service Deadtoole… surely the hayseeds in the burbs could do with less…

  11. Plannit Townsville says:

    Let me start by saying I do love street art. It takes talent and it brightens up the dingiest of streetscapes.

    However, I honestly cannot think of a more appropriate piece of art for the current council to organise than a seagull in Sturt Street. This is pure gold.


    • The Magpie says:

      Indeed. But perhaps there is a more appropriate piece of art … which The Magpie will try and raise funds to purchase, to place outside the Walker Street Wankery (aka TCC offices).

  12. I’ll be plucked says:

    ‘New’ Federal Labor leader – what an uninspiring, self-opinionated, recycled hack. They had a chance to ‘broom-out’ and really renew and look what has happened! Condemned to Opposition for at least another decade.

    • Old tradesman says:

      Ibp, what about the deputy, I thought the party favoured women.

      • Boom Tish says:

        They did favour women but Tim Wilson from the other team talked the out of it.

      • Night Watchperson says:

        Does it really matter who they select? The two major parties will only ever be elected due to our current election system. The reason for this is that the government relies to heavily on universities for information to form the policies and documents it uses to make promises to the citizens.
        So when a party who appears to listen to the people more than the universities run for office, such as Pauline, Palmer and others, the two main parties band together and try to discredit them, usually not on their policies but by twisting their words and making them look uneducated and silly.
        Having looked at both parties and their promises you can often find that these are mentioned in department documents, often written from univesity reports. As an example Bills electric car policy is similiar to qld department of transport 2040 document.
        Using this theory i suggest people should read very closel the townsville city deal plan, townsville signed, as we will see a change in the way water is charged, very soon, as we already have the stadium and bus hub as stated in the document.

        • The Magpie says:

          Your comment is a bit like the famous curate’s egg, good in parts. You make a particularly prescient point regarding water charges, which have been the subject of some debate in these comments over the years. And while The ‘Pie tends towards your view of the two parties hanging on to their duopoly by all means available, Hanson, Palmer and others like Roberts The Martian discredit themselves out of their own mouths without any assistance from any outside source. And mate, The ‘Pie has no qualification to be an elitist but here’s a newsflash for you … Hanson in particular and all the others generally are uneducated, ignorant and silly. Palmer is cunning like a shit-house rat, but is clearly socially and morally uneducated (like Trump). They are gifts to the big parties because it makes their transparently sleazy behaviour look almost legitimate to the dozing electorate.

          • Night Watchperson says:

            Pie as you suggest they are gifts to the big parties, and perhaps they serve as a reminder to all who challenge the big parties of what awaits them. Therefore most clever and capable candidates just couldnt be bothered to throw their hats in to the ring. They would rather donate to both the big parties to grease the wheels or just stay clear of politics.

        • No More Dredging says:

          Nightwatch, what is so attractive about the prognostications of SOME university types is that quite often the ordinary person can make sense of it. Whereas when you listen to Pauline or Clive you just hear gobbledegook. Remember Pauline in mask and snorkel telling us the GBR was OK, coral bleaching was crap and climate change was a conspiracy? You just knew she was making stuff up, especially compared with the evidence-based maps and diagrams provided by the PM’s appointed coral bleaching taskforce from JCU which was open to sceptical analysis and prepared to defend its conclusions. A couple of years have gone by, the taskforce has been proven completely correct and Pauline’s bullshit is rewarded with a newly elected robot in the Senate. Where’s the logic?

          Similarly with proposals to de-carbonise the Australian economy. We have heard decades of evidence from the universities and CSIRO – apparently the science is settled. But politics needs a mechanism to magically transform the science into a palatable public policy. Here’s how one university type put it today:

          “The first step in any serious program of emissions reduction is the transition away from coal-fired electricity generation. If we had implemented Kevin Rudd’s carbon pollution reduction scheme in 2012, or maintained the Gillard government’s carbon price, or even adopted the clean energy target proposed by the Finkel review in 2017 we would, like other developed countries, be on the road to coal-free electricity. The UK, which relied on coal for 50% of its electricity in the early 1990s, introduced emissions trading in 2002, and is now within a few years of eliminating coal-fired power altogether.”

          We can be sure that in 50 years time there will be no coal-fired power stations in Australia, no petrol/diesel cars on the roads and quite likely no thermal coal being mined at all let alone being exported for electricity production elsewhere. If we continue to pretend that ignorant gobbledegook makes more sense than rational discussion we condemn ourselves to endless expensive division, cheap pointscoring and social disintegration – for what?

          • Kingswood says:

            Um, so if we dont have coal to sell how do we pay for infastructure/hospitals/schools/police etc? And how do we pay for non baseload solar to run the place? Plus our bills will be even higher, thousands out of work and their feeder jobs devastated, plus communities shut down. And considering we only produce less than 1% of emissions….you virtue signalling green god worshipping lot just dont get it do you? See, there was this election a couple of week’s ago….

          • No More Dredging says:

            Kingswood, you are saying you don’t think we can afford to decarbonise our economy (on whose word is that?) so we shouldn’t. We should just close our eyes and deny everything in front of our faces and hope it all goes away – or hope that it isn’t actually there at all. And although you say there was an election a couple of weeks ago I don’t see you pointing to any winning party or even winning candidate (except the clown Roberts from One Nation) who agrees that we should totally ignore global warming, that there’s no need to do anything at all and that the whole thing is a conspiracy. Even the newly re-elected PM is quick to re-affirm his commitments to the Paris agreement and several other climate change policies so don’t pretend that the LNP is in total denial like you seem to be.

            And in case you haven’t noticed, Adani has not dug up, transported, loaded or sold any coal yet, hasn’t done anything without a government subsidy and is expecting that Queensland taxpayers should hand him a ‘royalty holiday’ so that he doesn’t have to actually hand over the money that you say will pay for all that “infastructure/hospitals/schools/police etc.” Those are your words. You have been duped already and will no doubt be dudded some more. And if you think global warming is not real can you explain why the sea level is rising, why ocean acidity is rising and why coral bleaching is now becoming commonplace when it has never happened like this before? Oh, you hadn’t noticed because you had your eyes closed hoping it would go away. Sorry old mate but you are stuck in the 1970s or whenever Kingswoods were last around before they turned into clapped out clunkers.

          • The Stockman says:

            NMD, just as sure as everyone was about Bill Shorten winning the election?
            Don’t believe the hype big fella.

          • Mick says:

            and that article from the Guardian went on to say
            “As things stand, however, Australia will be faced with the necessity of making the same transition over a period of perhaps five to 10 years. That will entail massive investment in solar PV, storage and wind, totalling perhaps $100bn. Given the uncertain environment created by decades of policy reversals, governments will need either to undertake this investment directly or provide long-term guarantees.”

            So we move away from Coal fired Stations at this great expense. If private enterprise cant or wont put the money up for these changes, it has to come from somewhere. More taxes?. Does this mean that city dwellers (Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney) will subsidise this massive change by paying higher Tax. I doubt it.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Mick, you seem to be under the illusion that a new coal-fired power station costs nothing. Are you for real, man? If Adani or one of the other Galilee Basin miners wants to build a coal-fired plant on site at their mine (as proposed by China Stone before they recently pulled the plug – hey, I read it myself in their proposal which you can find online if you actually give a fuck), then we taxpayers will find that such a plant will actually cost more than renewables. Do you get that? New coal costs more than renewables. So why would we, or taxpayers in metropolitan Australia, be wanting to build a new coal-fired plant? And anyway, when do we start agreeing that we have to de-carbonise the economy? Dickhead Kingswood is totally opposed to decarbonisation because he thinks coal can power everything forever more without any consequences – except he can’t explain the consequences that are already all over the environment around us. Do the maths, Mick. Coal is toast. New coal is shit for brains.

      • Grumpy says:

        Only the women.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        They have, her name is Richard.

  13. I’ll be plucked says:

    Good Morning All! NMD, you suck.

    • The Magpie says:

      Oh, there there, get a knock back for a dawn breaker, Plucker?

    • No More Dredging says:

      Plucker, all I said was “Pauline’s bullshit is rewarded with a newly elected robot in the Senate.” If you can make sense of Senator Malcolm Roberts and if you can see some way that he makes a worthwhile contribution to Australian or at least Queensland political life then let’s hear about it. I think he’s a wanker and you should keep your hand off his.

      • Old tradesman says:

        NMD, you seem to know a lot of the towns academics, why don’t you put your hand up, in the air I mean. You might run into someone called Peter, but he might get Ridd of you.

  14. Mike Douglas says:

    No more deredging you stated Adani hasn’t loaded or transported any Coal yet ? Abbott Point Adani owned loads and transports Coal . Please explain .

    • No More Dredging says:

      Wanker. Adani’s Abbott Point coal terminal moves someone else’s coal – from the Bowen Basin. Adani does not have a railway from its Carmichael mine site to the coast.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        I would invest in a coal fired power station, I reckon it would make a fortune, a really big bastard putting out plenty. If they put out a prospectus and tapped the market for $10 billion or so I reckon it would be over prescribed, then it wouldn’t need Govt investment, let the market decide.

        • Westie says:

          Hi Cantankerous

          Been done.

          Large power generators such as Engie and Mitsui (Hazelwood) and AGL (Liddell) have the capacity and right to replace their aging coal power stations and have declined. You can buy shares in these companies if you want.

          You must know something about investment returns of coal fired power stations that they don’t.

          Same deal for coal mines (all the banks world wide knocked back Adani).

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Chicken and egg Westie, most power companies are actually happy to take capacity out of the market, as they take capacity out demand drops as manufacturing declines, until they have limited supply at well above market rates, a suppliers dream. On the other hand if the had a million investors throwing in a modest $10k each and building their own power plant, of which each would get subsidised power at cost of production and distribution rates, then you have a winner,. Sell off the excess at very low rates in peak times to kick the living shit out of your competitors and screw their business model, sounds like a lot of fun to me.

        • No More Dredging says:

          Cantankerous, if “they”, i.e. some magical corporation currently unknown in the Australian market, “put out a prospectus”, they would have to indicate in some way how they would respond to current and future market forces which put a price on carbon pollution. Or do you expect that the government should underwrite such an investment by quarantining it from market forces? Bit socialist, what? Perhaps with your cavalier attitude to the slow but sure incursion of global warming impacts into our lives you could consider investing in seawalls or the Fairfield Levee?

      • Kingswood says:

        Yawn, the whole climate debate thing is SO… 2 weeks ago. BTW there is a guaranteed way of not having labor or the greens shove flyers at you when you go to vote and you don’t have to say a word. Dug out my old t shirt with Richard Nixon on the front, words underneath, ‘Shut Up Hippy’. Worked a treat, just got dirty looks instead of flyers…

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        Thermal or Coking Coal? which one do you protest?
        If Adani sent their coal to China for Coking Coal would that be OK?
        Honest answer please.

        • No More Dredging says:

          Thermal coal from Adani/Carmichael is not suitable for making into coke. So Adani (thermal) coal is unlikely to be sold to China for steel production. Do you know the actual difference between thermal and coking coal? Honest answer.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        NMD, of course we now that it’s not Adanis Coal but perhaps you need to be more specific in your diatribe and rants in your comments .

        • Non Aligned Worker says:

          NMD study the coal carbon content añd blending. Feel free to come back with your fact based comments.

          • No More Dredging says:

            The bottom line is that I would prefer not to see the Galilee Basin opened up to coal mining at all. I’m sorry that both state and federal governments have bent over backwards to facilitate Adani’s venture but it may be that this will still not be enough – time will tell. But wouldn’t it be a shame if yet more taxpayer money was thrown at the Galilee Basin (in the form of low interest infrastructure funding, more royalty holidays or local government legups like airport construction for example) only for the coal export industry to be spread too thin and ultimately for job losses to occur elsewhere or the whole thing ends up a stranded asset (including a gaping hole in the ground never to be rehabilitated)? Worse for Townsvillains, that state and federal government fund a billion dollar expansion of the port of Townsville with all the associated environmental and social upheaval that will bring and the only immediately available user of the expansion site is a number of coal miners located along the Mount Isa to Townsville railway – vicinity Pentland and Hughenden in the northern Galilee Basin. Wouldn’t it be an irony that our answer to the Adani deadlock is to government-fund a coal export stockpile and shiploader in Cleveland Bay? If you think that’s bullshit then at least explain why Guildford Coal (sponsors of the Cowboys and now named TerraCom) have in place an MOU with the port to export coal out of Townsville and why the Port of Townsville Ltd included a startup of coal exports in its 2013 EIS ‘business case’?

  15. Cajun says:

    Britain has the security of electrical backup at all times … for when it’s generators aren’t generating. There are these fantastic cables which draw in power from the nuclear power stations in France. Renewables need a back up, it seems. A few years back, I watched a fascinating doco on British power from inside the management centre. They had to buy in extra capacity from France for a 15 minute time slot that was to coincide with the final ending of popular TV show, when half of the country was expected to turn on their electric kettles to make a nice cup of tea. Naturally, the show ran long and France went off line just as demand surged … actually it was highly facinating watching them pulling power from everywhere to keep the lines humming.

  16. Mick NQ says:

    If they were serious about it, they would go Nuclear. If you subsidise something you get more of it, i.e. car production, doctors visits etc. Now if Solar Panels and Wind Turbines could stand on their own two feet, they wouldn’t need a subsidy.

    Can’t wait until the Lithium mines for batteries get into production, the environmental damage from their processing plants will be a sight to behold

    • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

      Jeebus Mick, don’t say the “N” word. NMD will have to decide whether he hates black stuff more than he hates the glowing stuff – we will be reading his drivel for weeks!

      But seriously, a reliable and cost-effective baseload power supply (which with current technology HAS to be fossil fuel-based) is going to be needed for decades to come while we transition to more renewable sources. So we are going to have to pick between coal, gas, trees or uranium – – or more sensibly a good mix of them all to hedge us against global markets.

  17. More Dredging Please says:

    Hey NMD,

    Things are still pretty good over here in La La Land.

    Been keeping an eye out for the Short One, seems he was also a candidate for residency.

  18. The Magpie says:

    A reasonable question from a reader: –

    “Have the Astonsher’s Jenna Cairney and Jennifer Hill had a falling out, some sort of verbal bitch slap … and now, Jenna is getting her revenge disguised as a positive story? Personal appearances should not be part of serious commentary, but when you’re representing a city, surely a modicum of self pride in your appearance is to be expected. This pic call for a wire brush to cleanse the eyeballs.’

    The Magpie thinks it is a bit harsh, but you be the judge.

    • Ducks nuts says:

      Pie, are you suggesting the Astonisher should run a Go Fund Me campaign to buy our Jenny a good brush and decent haircut? I’d half consider donating to that.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Jenny Hill is such a toxic slug that I doubt anyone could spend anytime around her without a falling out of some sort, inevitability I suppose.

    • Cappuccino in hand says:

      The insurance premiums are linked to the rates. Both the highest in this fair land.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Saw this page today in a free copy at a cafe. Thought to myself, “Shit hot, Astonisher using same photo as the ‘Pie uses. Wonder why?”

  19. Cappuccino in hand says:

    NMD has probably got this spot on … except it might be sooner than later …. We can be sure that in 50 years time there will be no coal-fired power stations in Australia, no petrol/diesel cars on the roads and quite likely no thermal coal being mined at all let alone being exported for electricity production elsewhere.

    We all hope it won’t work out this way because it will stuff the Australian economy. And boomers like me will be underground turning carcasses into coal. Oh the irony. But this is what is staring at us down the tunnel. Luckily most decisions that matter are made by people who accept the facts and that is why I’m confident that our country will survive the next 100 years, even though I won’t be here to blog my humble opinion.

    NMD, you spend a lot of energy screaming at the doubters. A noble cause and a methodology preferred by most greens. The great unwashed don’t respond well to that tactic. But don’t lose hope. A lot of us get it. Hansonites, etc still see a flat world.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Here-Haw, I see the greens have got it half right with exaggerations again.
      “India is closing down their coal fired power stations”
      Yeah! that’s right you clowns, and building HELE COAL FIRED STATIONS.

  20. Hee-Haw says:

    Just something intriguing to me.

    In 2019 calendar year, of the 5 TCC Council meeting held, every meeting had late items added to the agenda as an addendum.

    In 7 out of 8 of cases these items in the addenda have been “confidential” .

    So the cynic in me wonders why we slip these items in “off agenda” and therefore not subject to posting requirements and that in almost every case these items are classed as confidential.

    Just makes me wonder

    • The Magpie says:

      Oh dear, Muleman, you’re surely not … gasp, no, say it isn’t so … suggesting our council is anything other than ‘transparent and open’. Because it is .. the mayor said so herself.

    • Ducks nuts says:

      Having dealt with TCC I daresay it’s not because they are trying to be opaque. It’s more that they are just completely fucking incompetent.

  21. Hee-Haw says:

    Aaaaaaaaaand another thing

    According to the Astonisher and other media we have reached the halfway stage in the build of the stadium.

    Well the initial program was Aug 2017 to December 2020 a total of 854 days to practical completions.

    Lets give ground and say that due to the monsoon we push that back to 1st March 2020 in time for the season therefore a total number of days 926.

    Ground was broken and construction commenced on the 18th August 2017 which is 650 days ago.

    To reach the 1st March goal there is 276 days to go. Buggered if I know how that is half way.

    If the practical completion date was still in play then it would be 204 left. And I have not deducted any days for closedown in January.

    650 used and 276 to go at best, half way??? watch this space.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Yes, I have heard that the Cows will be applying to the NRL to have their first 6 games away next year as the likelihood that construction will run overs with the current timeline of December now not likely.

      • The Magpie says:

        Maybe they have but what’s wrong with 650SMILES stadium (the missus will be getting the other 650)? Nothing too urgent planned for the site, is there? So why deprive those who get the jollies watching large men run into each other at speed of the local fix of kulchar?

  22. Critical says:

    Just for laugh.
    So much of this Corporate Plan 2019-2024 is about what TCC should be doing as part of its daily operations and not included in a Corporate Plan, other parts are to meet legislative requirements, other parts will become Mullet’s 2020 election promises and the rest, plain bullshit.
    Notice how many pictures are out of date such as the one with the water weeds in the Ross River. Thought these got washed away.


    • Plannit Townsville says:

      Maaate catch up will you

      So much of this plan are what the Mullet promised to deliver last time and still hasn’t managed. And not only that it was in the last corporate plan.
      It’s just got new (and out of date) photos and a new CEO.

  23. Pedant says:

    Welcome back to the “scorecard” at the top of the post showing how many comments have been published.
    Hip, hip, etc.

  24. The Magpie says:

    Come off it, Achilles, you need more than that.

    • Achilles says:

      Agreed, it was sent at the end of my celebrating my 74th trip around the Sun. But it may apply in 3 years when the treasury is empty and all those Maseratis safely shipped around the region.

  25. Doxie says:

    I see from today’s Bulletin (well, what I could read online – shockin’ website) that we’re gonna be stuck with that loser Durie after all, AND after all this time. Wonder if this payout to him is from the same money originally allocated – $10M, wasn’t it? I’ve asked Council numerous times whatever happened to it and I just can’t get a “transparent” or simple answer.
    P.S: Why does a foreigner need to teach Council re “a water-saving campaign”? Surely there are lots of more experienced local professionals who would nicely fill the bill; probably for lots less cost; AND the money would stay in Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      The general resistance in the community to Durie, in part due to his high profile legal battles – which he lost and the circumstances make him look like a greedy dolt at best – will dilute and weaken any possible message he may try to expound. Ratepayers really do resent this contract, and if nothing else, see Durie as another unwelcome interloper from outside brought in by a floundering mayor trying to win undeserved favour with voters. The Magpie’s advise to the mayor? (as loud as you bcan screech, dearie) DOOOOLLLLAAANNNN!!!

  26. Mike Douglas says:

    Is denial endemic in the Labor party as after all the negative text to the editor and social media comments Mayor Mullet awards Jamie Durie a fresh 6 figure contract to work on Townsville’s embattled water-saving project . How much water could we save on water if the 6 figure amount was actually spent on water saving devices instead of paying fifo ex manpower performer and pr spin doctor ?.

    • Dearie Me says:

      Mike that had been awarded by Adele The Impaler Young to her long time friend Jamie Durie. I believe it got him put of some kind of financial issue as raised here on the Magpie.
      This contract was awarded despite Mr Durie knowing nothing about water management in dry topics regions. And Townsville City Council having having some incredible internal resources that have researched and provided community education on water management in dry tropical areas.

  27. Scientician79 says:

    From 10,000 jobs to 1,500, now we get closer to the truth “round about 100 in ongoing” jobs.

    Courtesy of Senator Bridget McKenzie on Sky news.


    Mayor Mullet fired more than that from the Council.

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