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The Magpie

Saturday, March 24th, 2018   |   115 comments

Mayor Mullet Stars In Her Own (Im)morality Play ‘The Remaking Of Jenny Hill’ … It’s A Hoot.

Council transparency at last!!! Sot of … at least it’s clear what they’re up to.

So deep in the shit as the inevitable election edges closer, Mayor Mullet has really hit the panic button, with an orchestrated piece of theatre to boost her image. She’s the play’s star and director, with the councillors just following the script and The Astonisher giving it rave reviews.

Indeed this week, the blog is many things Mullet … The ‘Pie cedes center stage to a commenter who has penned an inspired take on our beloved and beleaguered mayor. Plus The ‘Pie has dug up an the perfect visual metaphor for her governance of this city. When you’re not laughing, you’ll be wincing.

And hooning his life away … the 78-year-old familiar ex-Townsville face living life in the fast lane – literally.

But first …

OK, what is it now, a couple of years to the next Federal election? Right on schedule, the famous Labor death-wish appears on the federal scene.

No doubt buoyed by the qualified welcome to his proposed changes to the Negative Gearing fiddle, which has outlived its underlying purpose, The Short Un pulls out the trusty old party election blunderbuss, takes aim at pensioners and super retirees … and blows his foot off.

Bill Shorten

The one thing to be said for the stupidly timed and ill-thought out cash grab from self-funded retirees is that at least Shorten instantly learnt that you don’t mess with we oldies … even the mild mannered Bentley, who is still a year or two away from a walking frame, aptly demonstrates why Mr Shorten is a complete political clot on this one.

Franking credits small copy

For those with short memories, that’s Paul Keating standing next to The Magpie, he of course being the man who introduced the superannuation tax credit scheme in the first place. He’s ticking off the minutes to a Labor leadership challenge.

It is passing strange that Labor picks on this vote losing attempt at class warfare, when they would’ve done a lot better talking up both the Banking inquiry and the astoundingly crass golden parachutes gifted to certain big swinging dicks in the financial sector. It’s a class of legal swindlers than can hardly wait to get the shove.

It is with a heavy heart that I step down as CEO

It is with a heavy heart that I am stepping down as CEO.

The defenders of totally unjustifiable executive salaries quote the ‘trickle down effect’ – a ‘let them eat cake’ theory that says rewarding the wealthy ends up employing more people – but economist John Kenneth Galbraith put paid to the theory forever with one of the past cntury’s greatest put-downs. “Trickle-down theory – the less than elegant metaphor that if one feeds the horse enough oats, some will pass through to the road for the sparrows.” 

trump hair

Clearly, America’s Corn Cob In Chief has never read Galbraith … or anything it would seem. His amateur economics on tariff’s has certainly got investors looking for safer bets, as larry Pickering notes.


But at least his stint in the White House is deterring some unwanted immigration.

“Yeah, we clearly came at a bad time! We’ll be back in a few years, and, uh ... good luck!”


The Walker Street Aerobics Class In Revolt? Hardly …

Now on to the local scene.

This week, we were treated to political pantomime by the councillors of this fair city – high farce at its entertaining best. (Farce you will remember is a comedy that entertains through situations that are highly exaggerated, extravagant and therefore improbable.) Of course, the Daily Astonisher went along with the joke.

Some background. Mayor Mullet has been hogging the limelight on the (supposedly) good news stories and has been ducking for cover on anything with a negative taint (Adani airstrip, anyone? Or maybe ‘council secret culture’ report?) , trotting out minor officials if anything is said at all on unpalatable subject (technically known as ‘cock-ups’).

It has finally sunk in to the muddled Mullet mind that the public just aren’t buying it, and are getting restless. So what to do? This.

Jenny Hill in ouncil

And they expect us to believe it. C’mon, seriously, now, madam … It would’ve been more appropriate if the council meeting had been held in the Old Court Theatre down the road.

magpie 4

The Magpie, as magpie’s do, swooped on to it in an instant, so glaringly apparent was this pissweak attempt at subterfuge and manipulation of public perception. This was the old bird’s instant reaction in comments on hearing the news.

The Magpie

Submitted on 2018/03/23 at 9:25 am | In reply to Hercule Poirot.

The ‘Pie trusts that a seasoned observer like yourself has not fallen for this latest orchestrated scene in the immorality play titled ‘The Re-Making Of Jenny Hill’? This is such a clumsy, hoked up attempt to make the council look democratic – 10 to 1 vote, oh, come on for Chrissake – and Mayor Mullet look like an inclusive leader (HA!), someone who can roll with the punches, and not let her lower tremble at this devastating loss – on an issue that no one gives tuppeny fuck about and is never going to lose the mayor any votes at an election.

The Astonisher is either stupid or complicit (The ‘Pie’s bet is both) in this bogus resurrection of a fallen heroine, as they stroll hand in hand down the path to perdition and ignominy.

The absolute gall of this mob of jellybacks.

But The Silliest Part 

But you know what the real giveaway of this charade is. Simple.10 to 1!!

You see, Mayor Mullet had to make it 10 to 1 to avoid being stung with the damaging assessment of a split council; she knows only too well what a devastating effect that such a divisive faux impression can cause – she herself used it so insidiously against Townsville First, accusing them of starting fights when all they were doing was the job they were democratically elected to do. But that 10 to 1 vote gave the game away.

But fair’s fair, The ‘Pie will admit that these oft criticised councillors will oppose mayor Mullet … but only when she tells them to. Now more than one person is wondering what other vital issues of public import on which we will see her, in the Astonisher’s breathless term, ‘rolled’. The colour scheme for the long awaited bus hub? A variation to staff morning tea breaks? Whether the council should foot the bill for the CEO’s peroxide expenses? Or how about a re-vote on the $18.5M gift the Adani for an airstrip? Now that the councillor’s have suddenly seen that this issue could well threaten their ticket on the gravy train next time around, the outcome may actually see the mayor rolled (an image on which The ‘Pie wishes to dwell).

It’s The Stuff Of Nightmares

Jenny HillMayor Mullet and The Impaler are having an effect on the everyday life on more than those sacked council workers. An inspired comment came into the Nest during the week, which was too good to risk you missing it (you all should really watch the comments, they are great fun).

This all his own work, unedited.


email hidden; JavaScript is required

Submitted on 2018/03/22 at 8:39 am

Last night on TV news the Mullet commented that the recent heavy rain was a deluge she knew had to happen.
Must have played on my mind because I had a dream last night in which the Mullet was claiming credit for breaking Townsville’s crippling drought.
Boasting that the Ross River Dam had passed the 80% full mark (and the ratepayers were STILL being slugged for water they cannot use), the Mullet revealed that she had appealed for divine intervention.
“I tried rain dancing but that didn’t work so I arranged a meeting with the Big Guy up above, did a deal, and hey presto the drought is broken,” she told the media.
Asked for details of the “deal”, she said the meeting had been held behind closed doors to prevent anone putting an alternate view to hers.
“In any case I can’t comment because the deal is commercial-in-confidence,” she said, as the Channel 7 and Astonisher reporters nodded in agreement.
Pressed by a ratepayer about why the entire council hadn’t attended such an important meeting the Mullet said it wasn’t necessary because the councillors only did what they were told anyway. “In any case, I didn’t want them sharing the credit, especially that media tart Messagebank.”
However she revealed the councillors did meet afterwards and approved a trip to Cape Town by the Mullet to break the drought in that city.
“My drought breaking efforts have not gone unnoticed and I’m now getting calls from all over the world seeking my services. Cape Town is just the start. I’m also talking to Egypt about what can be done for the Sahara Desert.”
Asked if spending an extended period out of town would impact on her council duties the Mullet argued that recent council appointments had proved you don’t need to live in Townsville to work in the city.
“We got rid of the locals and now most of the council’s key administrators live down south and work on a fly in/fly out basis, so I can’t see why I can’t do the same and run the city from Cape Town or Cairo.”
Impressed by the Mullet’s recent run of success, the local newspaper editor said the Astonisher would be nominating her for Australian of the Year.
“I’ve only been here a short time but from day one I realised that the Mullet is the newspaper’s most influential advertiser. What she has done has impressed not only me but also our financial controller.”
The editor said the Australian of the Year nomination would include the Mullet’s recent coups including:
• Saving local travellers millions in airport fees by calling for a boycott on Qantas, which convinced the airline to refuse to charge its customers a fee to pay for more retail shops and exclusive lounges at Townsville Airport.
• Putting Townsville on the map as a tourist destination by appearing on national tv with one of her councillors, calling for another Crocodile Dundee movie. Since that appearance and the viewing of their amateur promotional video, Townsville has become firmly entrenched as Bogan Capital of Australia. We now have Bogan Tourism – a world first. TEL has predicted it will lure hundreds of thousands of curious visitors to Townsville. Mr Adani promised all his 10,000 mine workers would come to check out Boganville, if they are ever employed.
• Reducing potential parking problems and traffic congestion by building a smaller 25,000 seat rugby league stadium in the CBD instead of the 50,000 capacity required to host big events like State of Origin.
• Negotiating a secret deal which could lead to Townsville becoming the first city in the world to build an airport 400km from its centre.
• Making local government history by becoming the first council to require police protection at its monthly meetings.
• Saving Deeragun residents thousands of dollars in irrigation costs by approving a nearby supermarket development which increased the flow of water through local yards.
The editor said the recent failure by the Mullet to get members of the Royal Family to visit Townsville during the Commonwealth Games was due entirely to the terrorist threat posed by senior citizens wielding anti-Adani banners. “The idea that the Queen or one of the princes would want to visit Townsville wasn’t unrealistic,” the editor said. “That anti-Adani mob is to blame.”
This morning I told the missus about my dream and she said it sounded more like a nightmare.

Very Magpie-esque, top stuff.

Visual Metaphor Corner.

As we all know, a metaphor is ‘a thing regarded as representative or symbolic of something else’. And by pure serendipity, The ‘Pie has found the perfect visual metaphor for Mayor Jenny Hill’s two terms in office. It starts out with a straightforward task, but watch what happens when the person in the driver’s seat tries to be too clever by half (see what I mean by metaphor?).

In Passing …

See Dickie Holliday has left his post as step’n’fetchit for Ceo Adele The Impaler Young, and has scuttled off back south. Another recruitment triumph. They’ve advertised the position – because they have to – so The ‘Pie is wondering who has got the job, and what sort of talents they possess to be able to roll someone like the previous super toady.

Australia’s Most Sedate – And Oldest – Hoon

After more than two decades in Townsville, widely respected and liked Magpie mate, PR whiz Ron Bairstow retired and returned to his native WA, to be close to his grandkids. But this incurable car-a-holic – he owns several including a vintage Rolls – caught the local spotlight recently. And why not, it’s not often a 78-year-old still has an active CAMS license and still gets his jollies racing cars. Not pretend events, either, Ron has been known to clean up the youngsters on occasion. For those with fond memories, here’s a recent TV profile on this barnstorming bodgie.

Verbal Ping Pong From Comments

Readers of the Nest can have their say in comments throughout the week, and while it is rare for something to not get published, just because you can have your say, don’t expect not to be answered back. There have been some epic and sometimes hilarious duels over the years. Here’s a sample from this week, when a reader got into a right old PC tizz when The ‘Pie made a passing humorous mention that Mayor Mullet was giving the Michelin Man a run from his money.

Non Aligned Worker 

March 20, 2018 at 9:23 pm  (Edit)

Body imaging insults shouldn’t be allowed on the blog. Go for the other comments regarding competence and administration issues but you should leave the personal comments out of this.


The Magpie 

March 21, 2018 at 8:58 am  (Edit)

Your soulful PC pleading would have carried more weight had you been just as indignant about The ‘Pie’s frequent mentions of his body shaming of Tony Abbott (‘wing-nut’), Clive Palmer (‘fatso, ‘blimp’) or the reference’s to the strain experienced by Gina Rinehart’s undie elastic. But no, you only bob up with your bumptious instructions on rules for this blog when our winsome mayor is mentioned. Hmmm, do we have a teensy weensy little ‘thing’ for the mayorsy-warsey, even when she clumps around lie she’s in Blundstones representing this city looking like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards? Maybe not quite as non-aligned as you’d like us think, perhaps?


  • Non Aligned Worker

March 21, 2018 at 8:28 pm  (Edit)

You are entitled to your opinion you fat c#!t

  • The Magpie

March 21, 2018 at 9:54 pm  (Edit)

Classy comeback, full of wit … or something that rhymes with wit. And while you’re knob-throttling over body image, you have obviously never heard of ‘two-way pejorative belittling’ – in this case, insulting all female readers, who will not be happy to know that they apparently possess a moulting, bedraggled old feathery thing as part of their natural equipment. One hopes it doesn’t warble.

The Ultimate In Cleanskin Wine

Old Magpie mate John ‘Mother’ Hubbard tells The ‘Pie that he’s been feeling a little infirm lately, and the doctor suggested he should put a bar in the shower. So he did.

Screen shot 2018-03-24 at 10.13.46 PM


All done for another week, get stuck into those comments, folks … if you’re game. And if you’re even gamer, you might like to support the Nest with a small donation … the how to button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. very casual worker says:

    first and foremost i have to thank the magpie for giving us all an oppurtunity to see what really does happen behind the curtains when it comes to Townsville’s power mongers. Ask simpleton what happens behind Jenny’s though, only he knows the full unedited story. second on the list is a huge thumbs up from me to dreamer, he has just nailed jenny (no, not like that you dirty minded followers) and her full of shit team to the wall. Our council have long forgotten their role in looking after the people and are more concerned with getting their shiny asses back into their comfortable ergonomical seats. Was a pleasure to read dreamer, keep up the good work.

  2. Litewait says:

    Love your work pie!!

  3. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Could you imagine that spineless sook Mark Cappuccino ever voting against the Mullet on anything unless otherwise advised, how gullible do they think people are, he probably needed a dig in the ribs from whoever sits next to him and a reassuring nod from mummy that it’s alright to put his hand up like they had discussed before the vote, just pathetic.

  4. Old Hack says:

    Two thumbs-up to Dreamer. That’s some of the best satirical writing I’ve seen in ages.

  5. Peter Newey (TRRA) says:

    HI All,
    Well Townsville is definitely on the map financially as per this article from the Queensland Economy Watch and it the Council does not start reducing spending, including the $18.5 Adani Deal, we will be going to the wall in a hand basket.


  6. Inside TCC says:

    Regarding advertising of roles within council. They’ve found ways around that too, hire on temporary contract (not advertised) then after a certain period advertise as internal only and ensure your mate has the ‘now’ required quals or excperience. Might not do it for such a visual role like EO to the CEO but they’re definately doing it for the low level grunts

    • Alahazbin says:

      The TCC’s ‘Recruitment Policy’ has always been to employ all potential employee’s on MERIT.
      They forgot to mention that stands for “Mates Employed Regardless of Intellgence & Training.

  7. PlannitTownsville says:

    Gotta keep up with the times Magpie… Dickie wasn’t the Impalers most recent flunky. He’d been sent away to economic development some time ago. The most recent stop’nlickmyshoes was a Gerard Nelson.

    • The Magpie says:

      Humble apologies for the gaffe, how could The ‘Pie be so lackadaisical, what with such an open caring and sharing council. Anyway, he’s gone, as well as the other one, who was probably bright enough to see the light. This sheila is giving trump a run for his money. But seriously, thanks for the info, that is much of what this blog is about.

      • PlannitTownsville says:

        Bright isn’t a descriptive that comes to mind. I believe the most recent lickspittle was discarded by the Impaler but still pesters staff somewhere at Council. Poor buggers. No one deserves that.

  8. Ron Bairstow says:

    Thanks for the unsolicited plug, old bird. I’m gutted that the interview, which was done reluctantly at the request of the rally organisers, didn’t get me any new sponsors. There must be opportunities there for the purveyors of items like hearing aids, reading glasses and replacement hips.

  9. SPQR says:

    If Steve Smith retains the captaincy following his endorsement of ball tampering, then we have reached a new low in the integrity stakes. Not only have we become a nation: that sees nothing wrong with the disgusting contribution of taxpayer funds to the Palestinian Authority’s pay to slay Jews campaign; & that will not prosecute 21 ALP MPs including a State Premier for uttering false documents to obtain fraudulent access to taxpayers funds for political purposes; we have become a nation that officially cheats at international cricket. Our mayor is just another pimple on our rancid national bum.

  10. The Unbeliever says:

    I acknowledge that in politics games are played attempting to convince the unwashed that everything is above board.

    However, the theatrics perpetrated by the mayor and councillors this past week and aided and abetted by the Astonisher displayed their respective opinions of our intellect.
    We were treated like a bunch of fuckwits with the greatest load of infantile bullshit served up for some time.
    We as ratepayers AND voters have our chance in March 2020 to dispose of this rabble!

  11. Council workers "shovel" says:

    Ok so now our current council is as bad as the magnificent 7? Blocking the mayor now?? Still haven’t seen from the detractors here what tsv first blocked that everyone was so unhappy with. They blocked the hard rubbish collection, look how that’s turned out a fucken disaster. They blocked a rates freeze that saved us all the cost of a cup of coffee but then lost our 5% discount but hey they were always blocking. There financial outlook did look way past the short term vote grabbing the mayor always wanted. The last 2 councils were always looking after the community and to both the near future and beyond but because we have a disgraceful media they didn’t bother to actually report the reasons why decisions were made and any time an interview was done only a quarter of the story was shown. On the employment side now all the staff have been sacked we are finding that the numbers that were cut are in the next 12 mths going to be more than when tsv first were in charge but our services are declining. More people just walking and driving around now looking busy rather than actually working for the ratepayers. We are a service not a company or corporation but it seems the mayor wants to run a profit gaining enterprise to pay for airports instead of replacing fleet and increased service standards. But hey we could have had the”blockers” still here.

  12. Miss Lou says:

    Always good,
    Always entertaining..

    Yours truly,

    Miss Lou.

  13. Critical says:

    Rockhampton Morning Bulletin reports that Aldi has started building work on their new store on Gladstone Rd South Rockhampton. Auldi choose to build and open a store in a city with a population of less than half of Townsville. Is this another indicator of the loss of confidence by the business community in Townsville and/or the ineffective operations of TEL.

    • The Magpie says:

      Hmmm, you say that at a time when The ‘Pie (who does not wish any working person ill, but looks at the world realistically) how long Myer is going to last here, given the chains national performance (woeful) and plummeting share price. They say they have to close upteen stores. Maybe we don’t know it, but perhaps the ratepayers are supporting Myer through a deal worked out by the council … after all, a major store closing ain’t a good look for a mayor, is it?

      Don’t laugh … how many of we suckers knew we were supporting an Indian billionaire to the tune of $18.5M with an airstrip 400kms away?

    • Grumpy says:

      Crits – I think Aldi’s failure to open a store in NQ is more a question of logistics. they don’t have the established supply lines and distribution depots as do Woolworths and Coles. It would not be worth them being established for couple of stores.

      We certainly have our fair share of Aldi’s target demographic.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Grumpy is correct. They work a central wearhouse model with economical transport distances. Distances in NQ too great even if a wearhouse was established somewhere in NQ or FNQ

  14. One legged tap dancer says:

    Talking about businesses closing, take a drive along Charters Road and count the empty shops and offices.
    Its worse than Flinders Street and truly tragic but you won’t read about it in the Astonisher.
    Instead we get endless public relations stories about the airport and how the Dill needs the travelling public to pay for improvements his company should be paying for itself from profits.
    I note that today’s claim of another 7.5% increase in passenger numbers isn’t sourced to any independent body.
    So is Queensland Airports providing the numbers? If so, its a scam supported by News Ltd and our new editor.

    • Alex DeLarge says:

      Speaking of our little Scottish lassie, I was at a function with a number of Bulletin journalists over the weekend. It seems that young Jenna has wasted no time in becoming as unpopular with staff as was Bogan Ben.

  15. Old Hack says:

    Cricket Australia now has the opportunity to reset the sport’s rancid culture by putting Steve Smith, David Warner and every other player involved with the ball tampering fiasco on the first plane home.
    Top level Australian cricket has been on the nose for years, with boorish behaviour and cheating considered normal rather than disgraceful.
    This win-at-all-costs attitude has been reinforced because most Australian captains since the 60s have been professional cricketers with no life experience outside the game. They are so lionised by the public and puffed-up with self importance they forget that ethical behaviour and basic good manners are essential if you are role models for young people (whether cricketers or not)
    As an Aussie, I want the world to see us as a nation committed to decency and fair play rather than bullying, abuse and cheating. And this should apply with all sports we play at home and on the world stage.
    Let’s regain some international respect with decisive action — and send a message to players with swollen heads and no concept of right and wrong.

    • The Third Reader says:

      I could not agree more Old Hack. You could also add the level of sledging which Australia has the unenviable tag as probably the worst in the game. Some sledges are funny and we all know what is acceptable, but it seems the depths that we have sunk to, and obviously wish to continue, was indicated by the request to the sound people at he ground to lower the level of the microphone in the stump. We can only guess what they had in mind for the opposition. Steve Smith and Cameron Bancroft have just become a trivia question for all the wrong reasons.

      • The Magpie says:

        email hidden; JavaScript is required” />

  16. The Real Mr Batty says:

    A little while since I commented Pie so I wanted to let your regular readers know I have not gone away.
    Several communications have been made to the CCC and LGD regarding the current and ongoing investigation into the TCC Adani Airport saga and relevant disclosure of interest issues.
    Still awaiting answers/decisions/comments, I do not understand why it takes so long but it is government of course.
    I will update the Pie readership as soon as answers are forthcoming.

  17. Memory Man says:

    From the head the fish rots … naturally, innocent until proven otherwise, but there appears to be something seriously wrong with local government across the state.


  18. Sir Ossis O'Fliver says:

    What has happened to Mr Batty. Nothing for quite some time.
    Bought off? warned off? Knee capped? Commercial in confidence?
    Any one know. Was quite enjoying his contributions and activities.

  19. Sir Ossis O'Fliver says:

    Yes so I noticed, immediately I pressed the send button.

    Coincidence?, Conspiracy?, Commercial in confidence?

    • The Real Mr Batty says:

      Bloody hell SOOF you ask a lot of questions.
      Bought Off?
      Warned Off?
      Knee Capped?
      Commercial in Confidence?
      Commercial in Confidence?

      I should put you on notice under section (insert bullshit here) of the Blah Blah Blah Act 1995 that it is an offence to complain about anything at all so you must cease and desist immediately, so there.

      I am still around mate and still fighting behind the scenes waiting for some results.

  20. Dave of Kelso says:

    Regarding the cricket disgrace, I believe that the guilty should be stripped of their Australian Citizenship.

    • The Magpie says:

      Christ Dave, if cheating the yardstick, we’d b down to a population of about 500 … thatr is, five hundred.

      But The ‘Pie does believe all directly involved and who knew should be out the game globally forever. As it is, Smith and Warner will no doubt soon be making further millions in the home country of cheating and match fixing, India.

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        Goes to show that winning at all costs is not part of the Aussie creed.
        The popularised political parties think tanks do not consider the moral majority during election time.
        Ha ha. yes they do.
        There is an entrenched reliance on the the electorates short memories and cynicism.
        We expect more from our (sportsmen) (and ladies) / sportspeople than our politicians.
        I only wish that our political memories were consistent with our sporting memories . (underarm bowl anyone?).

        • Alex DeLarge says:

          NAW – if you think the Trevor Chappell incident has been forgotten, you have not been to NZ anytime in the last 37 years. About three years ago, a smartarse copper in Christchurch made a snide comment to me about it. He would have been all of 25.

      • No more dredging says:

        If we’re slagging off (sorry, sledging) other nations and cultures for their perceived shortcomings – and I don’t think Smith and Warner will be learning anything new in India if they even get their IPL jobs back – here’s an amusing little gem from yesterday’s Guardian:

        “A French waiter fired for being “aggressive, rude and disrespectful” says his behaviour wasn’t out of line – he’s just French.

        Guillaume Rey, who worked at a Vancouver restaurant on Canada’s Pacific coast, filed a complaint with British Columbia’s Human Rights Tribunal against his former employer, claiming “discrimination against my culture”.

        The restaurant accused Rey of violating its code of conduct and said he persisted in his behavior despite verbal and written performance reviews.

        In alleging discrimination Rey said French culture just “tends to be more direct and expressive”.

    • I'll be plucked says:

      Kelso Dave, a more palatable possible penalty than one called for on the Facebook cricket.com.au site this morning by a member of the public – that all involved should be sent to a gas chamber! Feelings are running high on this one………:(

  21. Cynical Cricket says:

    Has anyone seen the Mullet’s public apology to Clive Palmer, or was it published in the astonisher?

  22. Tas says:

    A question: Is there a viable alternative to The Mullet at the next LG election?
    Yes, we are nearly all agreed she is well past her used by date, but who else. Is there a white knight hiding in the mangroves, ready to sail to our rescue?

    As we know the criminally bewildered only have to slap a “Labor” sign on their “I’m useless, please vote for me” posters, and the rusted on Labor minority will get them up (see; present day council).

    So who will it be? And what time frame are we looking at for some one to show their hand? Early enough to become known, late enough to avoid Labor party dirty tactics.

    • The Magpie says:

      Timing is everything in sex and politics, Tas, and leaving the fact that we’re all rooted at the moment, you may be happy to know that your comment is posted TWO YEARS TO THE DAY for the next council election.

      So the timing is crucial, but even more so with Jenny Hill, who is one of the most spiteful revenge artists when it comes to misuse of the power of the mayor’s office … plenty of Artlett backers have found that out and the threat is there if anyone else chances their hand. Your last line says it all, and way too early just yet. One of the big problems is not so much getting a team together … plenty have been approached or have approached the three people The ‘Pie knows have shown an interest, but keeping it under the radar is nigh on impossible. And those contemplating a shot at the scarlet robes trimmed with possum fur have the jitters big time when Mayor Mullet finds out their intentions. And with good reason.

    • No more dredging says:

      Tas, it would be a whole lot better if, instead of working on a ‘team theme’, potential councillors started raising their own profile in their local division. Remember, there is a separate election for mayor and councillors need not be part of a mayoral team – even if that has been the norm for quite a few years now in Townsville. It’s not mandatory for parties, especially established political parties like Labor or Liberal, to lay on teams to contest the mayoralty and each and every division. That’s just the way it has been for a while now. Of course some people think that an elected Councillor, regardless of their personal politics or policies, must support the mayor of the day but we know that is not the case, and why should they? If someone hankers for a paid position on the local council they should start working on their campaign now. Get your name in the paper, even this paper, be seen contesting the space and spend the next two years raising your profile. No one else will do it for you. It’s actually a pretty lonely task. But if you at least have a go you won’t go to your grave not knowing.

      • The Magpie says:

        If two three local heros could get up that would inject some balance, but of course, either the white anting or sweet-talking would have to be resisted.

        Hey, The Magpie isn’t swayed by either, wonder if …. nah, done properly, sounds too much like work.

      • ChristoperRobinLovesHoney says:

        Watch out for Stephen Beckett’s (Current GM Community Engagement & Cultural Services TCC) missus ex Brisbane Councillor Shayne Sutton commence commenting around the place and getting the feel for the community. Maybe supported more by the labour stalwarts etc than the current Mayor. Maybe Mullet should watch out for Little Lord Fauntleroy’s missus, she may be there to give the mullet a cut.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Tas, as Pie says timing is critical, but people on the ground will be even more critical, and more important will be motivating people to get off their arse and become involved, attend the meetings, man a booth and make a contribution. I do regret not getting off my arse and getting involved in Jayne Arletts campaign, water under the bridge now. The second thing it will take is the business community in this town to grow a pair and come out and support a change instead of cowering in the background snickering away about their disgust at the Mullet and gutless councillors but still turn up for happy snaps and pictures in the paper.

      • Council workers "shovel" says:

        The business community did in fact surport Janes push. By what I was told after the election they spent alot trying to help her over the line. Some did have an each way bet but that’s normal. If you look at the proportion of union members money donated to the mayor only so she can sack them later and compare that to how many businesses donated to Janes campaign. They certainly tried.

      • Council workers "shovel" says:

        Unfortunately all the “for lease” signs around town might prove difficult to attract business surport next election because the mayor has either run them out from being opposed to her or because our local economy is just simply fucked now because of her lack of actually doing anything. Can anyone tell me what she has accomplished in this term? Still no pipeline. I spent my rates freeze savings 4 times this week already on coffee.

        • I'll be plucked says:

          Why don’t you run for Council Shovel? Plenty of time to get ‘your pitch’ out there, starting on this blog. C’mon, what ya reckon?

          • Council workers "shovel" says:

            I wouldn’t be any good because I’d give you back your dump vouchers and I’d tell the truth along with resetting everything that the mayor just completely fucked up. We had people who knew how to run an organization but didn’t hold a labour party membership card. Look at all the top level people we had and see how they are now working at other councils the very next day after they were sacked because they were very sort after. Will you run as my deputy?

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Cantankerous, “business grow some and get behind a mayoral candidate comment”.Have you got your house and life savings on the line with guarantees to the banks?. Household net worth in Townsville dropped from $524,000 in 2009 to $386,000 2016 putting more pressure on business loans.You would have seen many business people at the Qantas club travelling to Brisbane weekly to prop up their Townsville offices as well as many go to the wall.I would say it’s more about many people of Townsville not paying enough attention to the political game or caring or even understanding the direction of this city.

  23. Davey Warners Bat says:

    Thank christ – I’ll get at least a year off being flogged, maybe more. Serves you right for two-timing me with a ball you obnoxious turd!

  24. Herule Poirot says:

    Linda Aston & the WFTAG should have Their wallets open today to back a very well named Race Horse… Race 8 # 3 Racing.Com Park (Pakenham Victoria) Named “Dam Ready” Sire More Than Ready dam Waterwise…

  25. The Magpie says:

    Good to see the Astonisher maintaining their standards of care and respect for on-line readers … on-line, you know, the medium that they all say is the future of journalism.

    • Lord Howard Hertz says:

      Headline should be: North Queensland readers need to free of city-centric, careless corporate buffoonery.

  26. The Magpie says:

    Well, wasn’t that nice of them … just when the world was convinced that Trump’s America was becoming a callous, uncaring bunch of jackbooted thugs, along comes proof that they are not ay all heartless. Bunch of softies really.

    What next, they going to stop shooting people because they’re black … where will this milk of American kindness end?

  27. fwyp says:

    Dear Pie,
    I recently stayed 2 nights at the Casino. I selected a delivered copy of the Courier Mail for each morning. However, on the Friday, both the Courier plus a copy of local rag turned up. Apparently the Bully was also being delivered, by default. At first I thought it was a sneaky idea, but on reflection, could they be legally counted as “readership”, as most people would probably scan it before binning it?

    Even worse on Saturday, though, as I didn’t get my requested C Mail at all. Just the Astonisher. I wonder if it was possibly due to the full colour wraparound advert advertising the casino???

    • The Magpie says:

      Yep, those copies are counted in what are ‘bundled copies’ or somesuch. They are counted on the basis they are supplied, whether they are read is irrelevant apparently, but The ‘Pie is a bit hazy on this, it wasn’t his side of the corridor.

      But there is little doubt that your Sat experience was deliberate. Not that The ‘Pie is about to knock ‘Ville owner Chris Morris (the ‘good’ Morris in Townsville affairs), he is actually investing and employing, whereas so many others are just gabbing.

  28. The old peterbuilt says:

    Elliot springs. Just been told by a staffer working at this project that initially the sewerage generated from this project will be pumped into bulk tankers and transported into Cleveland treatment plant until the project has enough sales to pay for the cost of a rising main into the treatment plant. I asked when will that be how long is a piece of string. was the reply. Tcc approved the project but I can’t believe it. If this is accurate I’ve never heard of this type of thing before and I’ve been around construction and transport of dangerous and toxic goods all my working life. You ask yourself. How long will they transport and what volumes of raw sewerage will be transported on a main highway. What risk does this pose to the public and the environment and who pays if the developer goes belly up. If this is accurate I am amazed EPA let it pass. Has anyone heard anything along these lines.

    • No more dredging says:

      Hey Old Ken(worth), surely the “staffer” knows who’s got the tanker contract? After all, they’d need to be there every couple or few days.

      • The old peterbuilts says:

        Haven’t started haulin the shit. Will keep you posted. Mullet is creating enough at the moment

        • The Magpie says:

          Perhaps it is timely to talk about persistent … and that is PESISTENT rumours … that Jenny Hill and/or her family own 6 to 8 blocks at Eliot Springs, apparently held in trusts, so it goes, But The ‘Pie is well aware of the spurious stuff about Ceclia Mooney and some soft drink business that had bought blocks there too, which all came to nought (as far as The ‘Pie knows, anyway). So The ‘Pie has been reluctant to bring this up, and does so only in the hope that someone can settle it once and for all. If it is correct, then the mayor will face some difficult questions about timing and price along with a few other small matters like the timing of approvals … questions that may well be asked by the CCC.

          • Hee-Haw says:

            I know not of the rumours regarding Mullets land ownership, but I do believe that 2 sons of MessageBank work at Eliot Springs for Lend Lease and councillor Margie Ryder is reposting Facebook adverts for Eliot Springs with annoying regularity.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Nothing changes! Back when the Strand was being redeveloped, The wives of a certain mayor and his solicitor mate allegedly had interests in Townsville Sands. The company which carted all the sand for the job.
            Elliot Springs (Mooney Ponds) was Mayor Radiance’s ‘Super Fund’. So maybe he has a couple of blocks as well.

          • The Magpie says:

            What??? ‘The wives of a certain mayor’ ? How many wives did he have?

            Or did you mean the mysterious circumstance of His Radiance overturning the initially successful tender the company in which \Barry T had an interest could get the lucrative contract?

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            The election in 2008 was if nothing else a decision on whether Townsville expanded north of south, King Les was adamant Burrell, Deeragun, Bohle Plains were the future for Townsville, whilst Mooney had always supported old mate Richard Ferry and the Rocky Springs area as the future for Townsville, Tyrell won the election and north we did go.
            It would appear the old Townsville guard of Mullet, Messagebank and others have kept favour with developers of Rocky Springs, despite a change of developers and name change, the more things change in this town the more they stay the same.

    • A Keen Eye says:

      Well, I seen it before with Port Hinchinbrook. Not only do all those developer donations (tax deductable bribes) win approvals , they get deals on headworks. That is the in between things that the public has to pay for, if the deal is done that illegal cos its has provided a benefit to a briber . Its misappropriation on behalf of a donor , civilly its unconscionable conduct and mis/malfeasance. Criminally its abuse of office . Its not really much different from taking bribes from the waste industry to see the result of that in SEQ round Ipswich.

  29. Moment says:

    See you on the Logan River over the weekend on that SEA Ray 240 Sundeck. You beauty.
    Just a little hard to keep up with all this as of late.

    Happy Easter one and all.

  30. Sandgroper says:

    If you reckon there’s nothing entertaining to watch on TV, just turn on the live captions during the morning news broadcasts. The gulf between what is being said and the slightly delayed written text can sometimes be hilarious.
    Slob that I am, I decided to shave this morning while watching ABC News Breakfast from the sofa. My angry ant electric shaver was drowning out the newsreader, so on went the live captions.
    Imagine my surprise to read that President Trump and Stormi Daniels had a session of “South Korea” at one of his hotels not long after he married Melanie.
    My interest (among other things) has been aroused and I would appreciate any further information on what actually transpired.

  31. Jesus says:

    Good Friday.

    What’s good about it?

    • I'll be plucked says:

      Fair point JC, you were nailed; how about the movie ‘Life of Brian’? Something good from something………

    • I'll be plucked says:

      JC, it could be a better day/weekend if the Oligarchs Mullet and Impaler gave us back our plucking dump vouchers!

      All the best for Sunday, for your resurrection. How did you do that old mate? Surely the sacred secrets act doesn’t apply now, it’s been a while, can you please tell us???

      • Mangrove Jack says:

        Surely the statute of limitations on Commercial in Confidence must be up by now?

        • The Magpie says:

          Is there such a thing? Serious question.

          • Mangrove Jack says:

            While my comment was meant more in jest, very brief research appears to identify some instances whereby commercial in confidence may cease.

            To my untrained legal eyes, this document seems to hint at several circumstances, and while it has age, it was an interesting read from a pretty high authority on most things legal

            Whether it relates to Local Government or not, unsure.

          • The Magpie says:

            A valuable find MJ and The ‘Pie will also pass in the blog with appropriate derogatory comments directed at the council … boy, are there a couple doozy statements in there.

    • No more dredging says:

      Jesus, this might sound patronising but apparently, if you hang around patiently for a couple of days, three at the most, you’ll find yourself ‘elevated’ to heaven with a new job as God’s right hand man. The first part should be easy because you’ve been given a day off to prepare, the pubs are closed and you can’t go shopping. If I could venture a tip I’d suggest that you stay indoors in the later part of the day today, don’t go wandering around any hills on the edge of town and keep an eye on each of your twelve best mates – one of them is dodgy. Anyway, all the best. If you decide to venture out later, take a few trinkets in your pocket to leave us a few clues about your movements. Oh, and a pair of gloves – you could be called on to go caving or otherwise moving rocks around. And have a bath before you go – some of the girls have been remarking about your vague personal hygiene. Try some of that frankincense or Old Spice, it’s sure to be an enduring hit. I’m sure we’ll be hearing some more of you and your travels, especially if you don’t turn up at work on Tuesday.

    • Ronny Righteous says:

      And I’ve got a bone to pick with Jesus and the gospel writers on the subject of misinformation.
      For more than 2000 years, his followers have been insisting that he died for our sins — but he didn’t actually STAY dead.

      This means he didn’t give up his life for our salvation: All he gave up was his weekend.

  32. Davey Warners Bat says:

    Fuck me Davey, what sort of press conference was that??? You’ve just opened the biggest can of worms imaginable! Only good thing to come out if it, is that I will now be on a long, long break and probably never flogged by you again!

  33. The Magpie says:



    Sales already up 25% in the past 72 hours.

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