It Is Time, The Magpie Said, To Speak Of Many Things – Bus Hubs, Humbug and Hubris – plenty of jaw-droppers in the nest this week.

Including the Jayne Plane trundles skyward – haltingly – with Ms Arlett needing to pep up her flight crew to get her mayoral campaign well and truly off the ground …

But Mayor Mullet seems somewhat mired in her own rhetoric, leading to a couple of major contemplations …

You’re not gunna believe who is now touted as one of the ‘world’s greatest minds’ …

The highs and lows of Facebook – going from ‘like’ to ‘errkk’ in a couple of sentences … The Magpie gets a friend request from a slippery customer he can do without.

And an eye-popping Nanny State Award

But before we move on with the week’s matters, The Magpie offers his sincere condolences to Townsville Deputy Mayor Vern Veitch, on the passing of his mother on Thursday night.   She had been ill for some time. Her funeral will be in Brisbane next week.The Magpie didn’t know her, but Vale Vern’s mum.

Moving along.

This week’s Pissweak PR Award goes to hands down to the berks at the Queensland Parks & Wildlife Service.

The situation was all good news to start with, especially with the speed that the usually clunky clanking machinery of bureaucracy managed to implement an urgent cull of brumbies north of Townsville. The horses caused at least two deaths on the highway, and were a real threat of further tragedy. 140 of the animals were to be shot from helicopters by marksmen with semi-automatic weapons, and ground checks would ensure that no wounded animals were left suffering.  A necessary and timely action.

But landowners adjacent to the cull area have rightly complained that they were given no warning before the shooting started this week, which would have allowed them to take precautionary action.

Some of their animals … particularly horses, but cattle, too … were panicked by the gunfire, and could’ve injured themselves. Indeed, a Toolekea woman has blamed the shooting for the death of her show jumper, which she believes was so panicked by the guns and helicopters that it shattered it shoulder after falling when galloping over rough ground. The horse had to be put down.

So how did the PR geniuses at QP&WS handle this complaint? High-handed is hardly strong enough to describe it, more boofheaded arrogance.

The statement said:

The public wasn’t warned ahead of time, owing to safety concerns. The safety of the public – including residents – and our staff was a priority. In this instance, it was determined that the forward notification of the timing of the program created an unacceptable safety risk to the public. To ensure the operation could proceed with maximum success, the timing of the program was only made known to those immediately involved.”

Talk about Yes Minister-lite!

Do these people actually understand English. Especially plain English? How hard would’ve it been to say they didn’t signal when the cull would take place for fear it might attract protesters who would cause dangerous complications?

Adding to this idiocy was the use of the word ‘public’ instead of ‘possible protesters’ . Property owners adjacent to the cull area who run stock are certainly ‘immediately involved’ and in this instance are NOT ‘the public’. Nor would they be prone to protest, so, you shiny-bum chuckleheads, they should have been included in your mealy-mouthed phrase ‘those immediately involved’.

And did you consider that landholders have kids, and rural youth are known to be adventurous wanderers? A forewarning to those affected would be a required public service, surely? Wonder how close we were to an unnecessary tragedy.

This sort of addled-headed fuckwittery is just plain dumb, uncaring and unprofessional.

Which are exactly all the qualities that Bentley ain’t.

The Magpie Clairvoyant Or What?

Hey this ‘Pie the Prescient One is catch on.

Exhibit 1:   this excerpt from a comment the Magpie made on October 15.

From The ‘Pie’s point of view (a lofty one) we need to stop using the word ‘developer’ as a term of abuse that dog whistles of dirty dealing. But the only way that’s going to happen is if the shonks can be weeded out before they collapse and cause real grief in the community. (There is one particular project and developer that The ‘Pie holds great fears for in this respect, who has a track record of ripping people off, hiding behind arms-length companies … not that you’d ever hear of in the Astonisher.)

Keeping that last bit in mind, we zoom onto today’s Astonisher.

Read the whole sorry saga here.

Developer Mark Adams has come up with one of the best (worst) ‘the dog ate my homework’ bits of nonsense which even the QP&WS would chortle at … he reckons delays to building the proposed bus hub a block or so away from the development has caused him to call time for the moment on the creek side hotel. Everyone’s laughing at that one, the bus hub would pose no disruption to the project that anyone can see.
Want to insult the intelligence of the community any more than that, Mr Adams? Leave that lark to The Astonisher (who did in fact headline an online story ‘Bus Hub Halts Hotel Work’.)

The ‘Pie wouldn’t mind betting that ‘for the moment’ will soon turn into ‘development collapse’. The ‘Pie hears that Adams has had constant problems with valuations of the property and project, the banks are looking green around the gills, Hutchinson have effectively withindrawn from the project as it now stands, and Mantra must be thinking that not all the cowboys in Townsville play footy.

But don’t expect too much from The Astonisher on the background to this, they seem to think investigative journalism is stumping up the money for a lazy Right To Information request to make a cheap headline … and only then if the advertising department gives it the OK.

Good Help Is Hard To Find – just ask Jayne Arlett

“Bush…suffered from his lack of what he called ‘the vision thing,’ a clarity of ideas and principles that could shape public opinion and influence Congress. ‘He does not say why he wants to be there,’ complained columnist George Will, ‘so the public does not know why it should care if he gets his way.’”

Did you notice the final line in the Astonisher story above, when mayoral hopeful Jayne Arlett was asked to comment on the stalled development.

“I have heard from developers that this is a very difficult council to do business with,” Ms Arlett said.

Well, Jayne, The ‘Pie would be astounded if you heard otherwise from developers, who traditionally see regulators anywhere – councillors and bureaucrats – as their natural enemies, stopping them from their sometimes unbridled free-market-gone-mad, shaky excesses. Asking a developer for an opinion about council is like asking Mike Reynolds what he thinks of The Magpie … some things are self evident.

But it would seem a tad ill-advised to be dissing this council on three counts.

1. Should you don the possum fur-trimmed robes of the mayor, there will be very limited scope for you do boss Ray Burton and his troops around, they are armed with all sorts of handy QLG regulations to keep elected councillors being too pernickety – and these you are criticising nolw will be the same bureaucrats with whom you hope to be dealing after next March.
2. In this statement, you are dissing probably about half the team you will shortly announce, because they are already Townsville First councillors who have in effect been running council for the past couple of terms.
3. The unnecessary combative statement has the wrong target and the wrong message, which would’ve been much smarter if it had been ‘I intend to lead a council which will make more smooth for all concerned, to better lead us into a prosperous future.’ he criticism is implicit not explicit – a valuable tool which is called dog whistling. – that says no claws, for now. And that is the right message for everybody.

The ’Pie’s other disappointment is with your team’s apparent inability to learn from their own mistakes. When TF gained the control of the council, they spent too much time dicking around in negativity, simpoly determined to overturn Jenny Hill’s election promises which they opposed (and were elected becsaue of that opposition). But so busy were they with what should’ve simply been run-of-the-mill council voting, and so worried about what the paper was saying, they completely failed  come up with what George Bush Sn r called ‘the vision thing’. Which is what the town wanted … and still wants. (NB A stadium isn’t a vision  … a base load power station might be).

Now you may well say, ‘gimme a break, I only just declared a few days ago’.

Well, you give The ‘Pie a break, m’dear … you cleverly dillied and dallied for months, hopefully keeping us all on a ‘will she, won’t she ‘ knife-edge, with my guess that you knew all the time you’d run. Surely that would’ve been ample time to finalise your team – from what The ‘Pie hears, seems to have been be all there for weeks bar three or four spots – and if not why not.  You then make the announcement, present your team and make a stirring ‘vision thing’ statement with some concrete do-able elements. Bingo, you have the momentum, and The Mullet well and truly on the back-foot.

Having a 20-something( political science?) uni student (a uni student, for Chrissake, who’s idea was that!?!) as your campaign manager can be overlooked given the political experience in your backroom, but when you have an experienced media manager in Andrew Longmire, who was Kid Crisafulli’s minder when he was a minister, you’d be entitled to be disappointed that he appears to have dropped the ball from the outset.

And you of all people, Ms Townsville Fire, knows what bad things can come from dropped balls. Looks like your first test of leadership will be getting your own people to get their thumbs out of their bums and start rattling in some three pointers.

Mayor Mullet Isn’t Without Her Conundrums

The ‘Pie is nothing if not even handed, so Mayor Mullet should also be able to benefit from the ‘Pie’s skillful insights, incisive strategies and his humble, modest view of things (modeled on Donald Trump)..

Seems Jenny is a bit like the Irish navy whose foreman pointed to two shovels and told him to take his pick.

Now Madam Mayor isn’t short of good advice … here she is deep in a planning session with a somewhat laid back Svengali in Dolan Hayes. The photographer said Jenny was quite agitated and animated at times during her café conference and generally didn’t look took happy (how could you tell?)

But she has a problem with her recent boasting of what a great job she has done (details mostly lacking) , blithely ignoring the fact that anything she has been achieved has been through the grace and favour of the Townsville First mob who have controlled the council from the outset of mayoralty. So are you thanking them, or criticising them?

Jenny is in the precarious position of having to paint herself as a victim of those nasty TF people who had the temerity to exercise their democratically elected right to veto some of her ruinous financial proposals. Going for the sympathy vote is a dangerous road to travel indeed.

Here’s the point. She herself has said that all but a few matters have gone through with no fuss, tat all is sweetness and light, and the only things that were knocked back were her outlandish rates freeze (growing city gets a rates freeze!?!) and populist kerbside rubbish collection. Those who rattle on about council chaos and in-fighting seem a little prone to balderdash, but then we are talking about Anthony Simpleton and his successor, Galoot Galloway, both happily gone to infest other climes, but did Jenny’s PR when they were around, working for a paper determined to be divisive in a fruitless chase for sales.

What worries The ‘Pie more is your comment, on radio and in the paper the next day, that ‘there will be others coming out of the woodwork’ to also run for mayor.

Ummm, on what evidence? No one has said dicky bird on that subject, and any hopeful will need some time and a lot of money – unless they’re financed by an outside and unnamed person. Wonder if we’re to again see some stalking horse candidates to suck away votes from your team to get you across the line with another tissue thin margin?

Now to other matters of lesser import, but worth a hearty rather than bitter laugh.

And We Never Knew

It is a truism that Clive Palmer is one of the world’s greatest mounds, but which other Aussie politician has just been touted as ‘one of the world’s greatest minds’? Well, remember this bloke?

Yup, Wingnut has just joined a global speakers circuit that touts him as just that.

Apparently, you can get him for your dinner party or buck’s night for just travel and expenses, or $40,000 … and if Bronnie Bishop is advising him, the $40K option would be the cheaper.

Will be embarrassing when people start asking for their money back.

Pictorial Sledge of the Month

Nuff said.

Nanny State Nightmare (But At Least The Bogeymen Will Be Able Top See You).

In an edict which Jack the Ripper would have greatly approved, Spanish authorities have ordered prostitutes to wear reflective safety vests for their own protection. This could of course lead to some interesting confrontations when Diego is feeling feisty after a drop too much of vino tinto and puts the word of a vest wearing sheila who turns out to be a copper.

But this is just the latest in the saga of the nanny state attention being given to safety vests. In some EU countries, all cars must carry a safety vest, which must be worn if you break down and have to repair the car or wait by the roadside for help. France has just quietly introduced this law, while in the UK, it is still just a polite suggestion. So the Frog wallopers have been having a field day, staking out the exit from the Channel Tunnel and nabbing unsuspecting Poms, making enough ‘mernay’ to hold the Policeman’s Ball in the palace at Versailles.

The Poms are yet to enact this particular Nanny State special, but they are encouraging folks to be aware of being seen in all the right places, with eye-catching ads like this. What a waste.

And Finally … and not made up.

Something lobbed into the nest’s email this morning unannounced and unsolicited. And it will be unanswered. The ‘Pie read it with growing … and he means growing … excitement , until he got to the sign-off and realised this slippery character was a real bummer.

From:       Lina Dominguez

Subject: malcolm weatherup , I’ll be very glad to be friends!

Date: 24 October 2015 8:04:48 AM AEST

To:     Malcolm Weatherup

Hello new friend!

I wish I could write your real name but you never told me that, so, I have to use your profile name on facebook. I send you my picture as you asked. Could you write me your name? Will you send me your picture? A descent one! In what city or town do you live?

I hope to hear from you soon. I will have my vacation in 3 weeks if my boss doesn’t make to work longer 1-2 weeks. I will be very glad to become friends and meet in real.

If you have any questions, just ask.

Best regards,

Vasilina.

If you’ve enjoyed this week’s nest, if you haven’t already, maybe you could join the many other generous souls who have supported the independence of the old bird with a donation. Plenty of costs involved in this effort, which is the only thing that spoils all the fun. And as has been said before, it’s also appreciated to be appreciated. See below if you of a mind to chuck in.