He lasted 18 agonising months, but Ben ‘Bogan’ English really earned his spurs for his next job … kissing the arse of Gold Coast mayor Tom Tate, who has even more say in the paper down there than Mayor Mullet does up here. The Magpie looks at the Bogan Legacy.
Is Mayor Mullet about to burst into the pop charts? The Magpie thinks so.
The Cowboys mean-spirited management’s financially spear-tackle some of their own most valued people …
And a Magpie exclusive … in its ever desperate quest to woo digital subscribers, is the Townsville Bulletin is about to launch a innovative giveaway that people won’t be able to resist? The ‘Pie reports.
But first …
The Streisand Effect Strikes … And How!
It was a text book example of this effect – when you try to stop something, the resulting outrage is such that the issue – minor to start with – amplifies and gathers support the issue would not of otherwise had. It is named for the singer who tried to stop aerial photography of her cliff top mansion … as a result, there are now approximately 100,000 such FU photographs on the internet.
And that was the case when th NRL booked Benjamin Hammond Haggerty – whom no one had heard of – to headline the half time entertainment at the Grand Final. Mr Haggerty’s stage name is Macklemore , a white rapper from Seattle, who not many more had heard of, hitherto just only known to a niche group of tone deaf followers. (White rapper? That’s seems as likely a black ukulele player.)
But Mr Macklemore, a professional stirrer and anti-semite, claims some recognition based on what is described as his gay marriage anthem released three or four years ago, which came and went without a murmur or much acclaim. And he intends to sing said ditty to the sensitive ears of the pie-gulping, beer guzzling GF crowd. God knows what they is going to think of one of the dreariest whinging dirges that just goes on and on and bloody on.
At this news, Tony Streisand – stage name Tony Abbott – decided that Mr Macklemore should be either banned or told not to dare sully the good Aussie sporting air with such sentiments. Mr Streisand is bitterly opposed to gay marriage.
The rest is history – an attack on free speech, cried the Yes-ers, while the No-ers shrilled ‘no politics in sport’ – which is a bit dimwitted because the reality is that sport IS politics nowadays. That fake separation was an insidious trope started by the South African apartheid mob about rugby, whose politicians passed racist laws that did not allow blacks or ‘kaffirs’ (Asian race citizens) to play sport together. That one law was Sth Africa’s own Streisand effect, as history shows.
No matter what, our ‘toonist Bentley is sure there will be an extra element of entertainment this year.
And we trust Mr Macklemore’s performance will not reflect Bob Katter’s prediction that it will be like ‘seeping sewage into the debutante’s ball.’ He’s had a lot of interesting life experiences, has our Bob.
Even Cowgirls Get The Blues
It’s true that practically everybody wants a Cowboys win, if for no other reason to give the town a much needed fillip, a morale booster as we head into an uncertain summer. But whatever the outcome, the season has been a financial winner for the club.
A fine boast from Mr Tonner, who is one of the water boys to the Gilded Few, those prominent citizens who support the Cowboys and are all millionaires. And who are now blithely talking about a multi-million dollar plan to ensure sar player Micheal Morgan remains with the club. So dough doesn’t seem to be an issue.
Against that background, The ‘Pie is a little aghast the Messers Tonner, Lancini and the likes, who will all be quaffing champagne and nibbling canapes at the grand final, have shown such a mean spirit towards some of their most indefatigable UNPAID club workers.
The cheer squad.
These gals are enthusiastic in their season-long efforts to boost the spirits of the team and fans, and put in long hours getting their act together and attending games. And all that’s fine, but what isn’t fine is that when these girls take to the turf in Sydney to boost the club’s professional look at the grand final, they will have paid their own way to get there and back. The club, flush with cash, wouldn’t stump up the relatively modest amount to underwrite the girls trip.
And folks, that is just bloody mean.
Surely, Mr Tonner, if the club has done so well out of the on-field unit, you could find the relatively small (for you, big for a young unpaid club booster) amount to shout the girl’s a once-in-a-God-knows-how-long trip to Sydney. Where they won’t be sitting back with champers and cigars to watch the Boys go round, they’ll be revving up the fans who in turn will be revving up the team. Your team.
Maybe Mr Lancini, you could pop along to the nearest ATM for some spare change. At last count, you were worth somewhere north of $80million. Go on, mate, no reason not to now, no ATM fees now, remember?
Benny Bogan Buggers Off, To be Replaced By .. Oh, Someone Or Other
Ben ‘Bogan’ English
After a fleeting and totally undistinguished 18 months, Bogan English is heading for the Gold Coast, where slippery Mayor Tom Tate has already dropped his daks and touched his toes, awaiting Bogan’s lips.
And Mr English will be replaced by whom? Who knows? News Corpse poo bahs in Sydney said a replacement will be announced ‘soon’. So Townsville doesn’t rate highly enough to merit forward consideration of succession in the reshuffle. Even the simple and tediously regular changing of the iditorial guard at the Bulletin becomes a even more contemptuous finger to this community.
This is what The ‘Pie had to say in comments when the change was announced on Thursday.
Another one bites the dust.
Ben English is leaving town, to become editor of the Gold Coast Bulletin.
After just 18 months.
News Ltd has delivered it’s latest insult to Townsville by proving it’s Townsville Bulletin is just an experimental stepping stone, a plaything and testing ground for those seeking greater Murdoch glory. And the bugger the damage done by a paper that has no consistency, continuity or balance.
Bogan’s replacement is yet to be announced, a further insult, clearly suggesting an attitude of ‘oh, we’ll find someone from somewhere’. Because the paper is now a basket case and an editor’s poisoned chalice, wonder if they’ll be cynical enough to appoint a local like Tony Raggers or – gawd help us – that twister with neofascist tendencies, Damien Tomlinson. Maybe Damo had that in mind when he suddenly started churning out Andrew Bolt-lite columns of utter right wing drivel. But whoever, be smart if they turned it down, since they’re just being set up to fail.
But then, News may go against it’s own ingrained prejudice and appoint a woman iditor (gasp!). Then we’d have three vertical smiles runnin’ the joint.
But it Was Bogan The Black Knight To The End
Earlier in the week, Bogan was spruiking a modest and meaningless gain in ‘digital readers’, which presumably meant people checking the free on-line page, before deciding they didn’t see anything of interest.
“We have poured resources into our digital journalism,” Mr English said. (No you’re haven’t.)
“We are refreshing our website more frequently with breaking local news. (No you’re not.)’
“Our journalists are also producing a greater variety
of premium content, including rich, interactive stories and video. (Utter bullshit.)
“These results show our readers are relishing these improvements and rewarding us with their loyalty.” (What planet are you from?)
As you prepare to wend your way south, Bogan, here is a small gallery of the premium content you have offered us during your tenure.
The relief spread like wild fire across the city.
A pharmacy AND a café!!! We really are getting to be a grown-up city aren’t we?
Unlike the woman who was bitten on the funnel by a finger-web spider.
Well, that ‘s a jaw dropper.
Just why this massive crime story is bannered ‘Education’ isn’t clear
And the horror story of the year.
9th time unlucky?
And even now, you are refreshing your website not with breaking stories but broken ones, like this which The ’Pie reported (with a saucy little anecdote you missed) on Sept 7.
But nothing will beat your effort to spread panic by having Cyclone Debbie smacking dead centre into Townsville when the eye was two very erratic days out to sea (it eventually crossed at Airlie Beach.) You’ll be sorely missed, Bogan … at least by The Magpie, who never missed you while you were here heh heh heh.
But The Push For Readers Goes On
What the paper has poured resources into is the campaign to attract digital subscribers. Sensibly realizing that their content was mostly overwritten tripe or stories from interstate and of bugger all interest, the Bulletin tried a campaign of bribery. First you could get a free tablet, then a set of you beaut headphones. But all no avail, so head office said dammit, let’s go even one better. So expect to see these irresistible come-ons soon.
Who could resist?
Election Alert
As we wait for the call to the polls, disturbing news has reached the feathered ears. Vern ‘Uncle Fester’ Veitch, former deputy doo dah of the TCC, was seen at the Cowboys Leagues Club deep in a long conversation with The Mad Katter recently.
Could it be??? Nah, can’t see it meself.
Mayor Mullet To Go All Musical?
Fresh from the publicity of making herself a complete ass over the embarrassingly juvenile Cowboy Island stunt, Mayor Mullet may be looking to the pop charts to publicise another of her favourite brain farts. She is still keen to promote the idea of a ferry to service the new stadium on Ross Creek, ferrying footy fans to the venue. From where isn’t clear, but it would seem she expects fans to drive to the Breakwater terminal, catch a specially commissioned Rivercat ferry to the stadium – where they would’ve been in the first place if they hadn’t driven passed it – and then return down creek after the game.
This would happen the 12 times a year that the Cowboys will play at the new stadium. But it would depend on the NRL writing their fixture list with an eye on the tide charts. Because this is Ross Creek outside the stadium site at low tide a week or so ago.
Low tide and fragrant mud flats – tastefully decorated with coke cans and condoms – are a regular and predictable occurrence which not even the mayor and the Bulletin can bully into changing. So to promote the idea, it is rumoured the mayor will aim at a song for Townsville to hit the charts. And she’ll do it herself. Her group, Jenny and The Pacemakers will re-work an old favourite retitled Ferry Cross The Murky.
Meanwhile, In Trumpatania
The politician most admired by our own Eammon ‘Call Me Ted’ Lindsay, one Donald John Trump, continues to entertain and appall in equal amounts and at the same time.
While making excuses why he had been slow to organize help for hurricane-devastated Puerto Rico (an American territory) he tweeted ‘This is an island. Surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water.’
As if that was bizarre enough, this klutz had one of his dingbat lackeys try to wheedle the media by saying the totally inadequate relief effort in Puerto Rico was a ‘good news story’.
That outraged Yulin Cruz, the mayor of San Juan.
Yulin Crux – left – hugs a hurricane victim.
“Dammit, this is not a good news story,” Carmen Yulín Cruz told CNN. “If we don’t solve the logistics, we are going to see something close to a genocide. So Mr Trump, I am begging you to take charge and save lives. If not, the world will see how we are treated not as second-class citizens but as animals that can be disposed of. Enough is enough.”
The Magpie can tell you, Ms Cruz, you’re talking to the wrong person. The whole world is starting to think enough is enough of this dangerous buffoon, too … all except of course Ted and coffee mates. Come the revolution, comrade …
Aww C’mon, They’re Not That Bad
New movie coming out, but not sure what to make of it. Robert Redford and Jane Fonda’s new movie is a tad confusing at first… what appears to be a a jokey editorial comment on the ageing stars turns out to be the title of the flick.
It’s apparently a love story which gives some pause, given that Fonda is 79 and Redford is 81.
It is not so much chick flick as a chook flick – the old boilers will love it – husbands will excuse themselves and head for the golf course.
And Finally, Some Bad News For Muslim Martyrs
As we reported during the week, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner has died – reportedly with a smile on his face. There was only a partial viewing … they had to put him on his side in the coffin so they could close the lid.
Most upset with the news the Imam’s encouraging kids to kill themselves in the name of Allah.
………..
That’s it for this week, but hop into the comments anytime during the week and have your rant about anything at all. And if you can help out with a donation to keep the Nest safe from predators, it will be greatly appreciated. The how to donate button is below.
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