Yup, the local government Gravy Train has become the Caviar Express, following the latest pay hike by the Remuneration Tribunal, but YOU can stop this legalised rort dead in its tracks. … The ‘Pie explains.
The Bully bullying the bloggers: floundering on the deck like a dying fish, The Townsville Bulletin inadvertently admits it’s terminal dilemma … so dumb that even when they’re right, they get it wrong.
And yay!! Bentley’s back.
Oi, Zip It, You Lot
Our favourite ‘toonist let his mind run wild with the suggestion that a ‘zip line’ – known to an older generation, especially in the army, as a ‘flying fox’ – be built on Castle Hill to attract tourists.
Seems a good enough idea, since the Red Baron aircraft and the tandem parachute crowd Skydive Townsville seem to pull in the visiting action punters year round. What’s more, it operates successfully at a score of other sites along the Queensland coast, from Goldie to Port Douglas.
But Bentley, being the visionary that he is, sees a larger market for this – err, magnetic attraction.
Mongrel the Barrister reckons a zip line of greater benefit to Townsville would be one running from corner to corner on Ewen Jones gob. Hmmm, got just the thing …
As if …
When The Cat’s Away, The Mice Are Gonna Play
… or exactly how NOT to publicly dress down a loyal buyer and reader of your newspaper.
In this case, the mouse is a pompous squeaker named Damien Tomlinson, the pretend iditor of the pretend paper the Townsville Bulletin. Tommo is warming the chair while awaiting the arrival of the latest southern blow-in editor to replace the departing Lachlan Heyward.
Junior Tomlinson (Max’s kid, mentioned only because the likeable old walrus used to be boss cocky at the paper years ago) apparently got carried away with himself when he was plonked temporarily into the iditor’s chair (it happens a lot in News Corpse – Ann Attila The Hen Roebuck is a good example).
Some background. For quite a while now, one Jim Tsilavis has been buying up 200 Bulletins each week for his customers to read in his two Gloria Jean’s coffee shop outlets. Jim also happens to be a super-enthusiastic supporter of the Townsville Crocodiles basketball beanpoles – well, someone has to be. So much so, Jim started a Facebook page - C’mon the Mighty Crocs – posting all the news he could about his beloved team. He wasn’t alone in his enthusiasm, gathering more than a thousand like-minded fans over the past three years. Naturally, like the Nest, it’s a labour of love, he makes not a penny out of it.
From the outset, Jim had cut and pasted Bulletin stories from the sports section, clearly identifying the Bulletin as the source. All good fun, appreciated, great for keeping community spirits up … and all for the north, you’d say.
But then, Twerp Tomlinson steps up. Last month, he decided he now had his big boy long pants on and he needed t to impress his southern bosses, so he lobbed this into Mr Tsalavis’s inbox.
There then followed an exchange of questions and answers between Jim and the Twerp, too long to publish here but the essence was that Jim’s Facebook page was damaging Bulletin sales.
Huh?
Now let The ‘Pie say right here, if that is the situation – a thousand Facebook followers threatening the paper’s circulation – then that is the death rattle of a newspaper writ large. The social media response was swift and by and large full of colorful ridicule telling the paper and Tomlinson to – well, get stuffed was the politest.
While the legal advice is questionable in itself – it’s a very murky area yet to be wholly tested, but let’s say technically, it’s right – this ham-fisted and heavy-handed public approach (what he didn’t think it would become public? That just about sums up News grasp on modern mixed media platforms) has turned into a massive own goal. Just for starters, Jim Tsalavis says he has cancelled his 200 weekly papers, which is probably 199 more than his Facebook page would lure away from the rag. Legally right or wrong, the onanistic pomposity of Tomlinson’s approach has made him a laughingstock and further proving the Astonisher it is ‘All For News Corpse’, bugger the north.
Seems he got the KISS principle mixed up, believing it to be Keep It Stupid, Simpleton.
But Things Get Curioser
The ‘Pie was somewhat astonished when a familiar name entered the social media fray … leading the charge in a muddled and ambiguous comment on Tomlinson’s high handed letter-of-the-law stance.
Anthony is now in Melbourne at the Hun (Herald Sun to you), so he’s still with News … maybe he’ll be back one day as ed. At least he’s a local, and the Hun is a real newspaper …sort of.
And Mr Tomlinson, you sook, if you think this is also a disgraceful personal attack, clench your buttocks, old chump, 2016 is gunna be a blast. The ‘Pie just loves it you high-handed nancy boys get a bit of your own back. (Do read on for some more.)
Oh Well, While We’re About It.
The Twerp has other matters on which his time would’ve been better employed in addressing Like making sure the paper followed their own rules to ensure kids and adults like have respect for the dangers of floodwaters and not to take risks. This from comments during the week.
The Magpie January 7, 2016 at 12:34 pm (Edit)
The Townsville Bulletin never resorts to the ‘C’ word … that word being of course ‘Consistency’.
For years, internal policy at the Astonishe has decreed about never showing people, particularly kids, frolicking and swimming in flood waters or images that invite dangerous situations by imitators.
But the first sign of dampness and this is what we get. Today …
… and this really irresponsible effort included in the gallery of the years best photographs by the Bulletin’s best photographer (by far), Evan Morgan.
In Ando’s case, the bloke was in the water doing his thing, presumably with no urging from John, and would be doing it no matter what concerns Ando may have had … so the problem would be the publishing of the pic, wouldn’t it mr Tomlinson?
But in Evan’s case, it is a posed picture that clearly put the young girl at risk … one slip and it would be a very different and possibly tragic story – not to mention an expensive and emotional legal follow-up. Evan is an excellent bloke with whom an admiring Magpie has always been on good terms, but this was a thoughtless step too far in seeking – as he always does – that moment of difference that is his hallmark.
This was just a dopey – and lucky – lapse.
Just as well hardly anybody reads the paper anymore.
Nice Work If You Can get It
This is going to be hard to make amusing, but someone’s got to get in before the lying bleats start from the possible beneficiaries of the astounding pay rises awarded by the out-of-touch goofs at the Queensland Remuneration Tribunal.
The following speaks for itself. This is what our worthies were paid this financial year.
… and this is what the ratepayers will be gouged for their services’ the 2016/17 financial year.
To save you the bother, the increases are, for the mayor in Townsville’s Category 6, a boost of 13.73%, Deputy Doo-Dahs, 13.9%, and whacko! ordinary councillors, you cop no less than 15.03%.
And just so you know, if you’re lucky enough to get any rise, inflation and CPI for the year was around 2.2%.
Now look, its YOUR money, so shrug your shoulders if you will, and mumble something about peanuts and monkeys, and got to have pay levels to attract the ‘right’ people to stand for council.
Well, on that point, that hasn’t exactly worked so far has it? And the logic is a tad flawed, with Labor hacks and conservative stepping stoners alike doing barely enough over the past decade or more to justify their air intake, let alone stiffing the ratepayers for an exorbitant salary. With a handful of exceptions, none of them stood to earn even HALF that sort of money in the real world. And if they say they weren’t in it for the money, (9 out of 10 would be lying) then they won’t mind taking less.
That may not have been the case for the majority in recent years, but the issue here is simple: the truly crazy gap between the – maybe – 2% the average punter can expect and a swingeing 14/15% rise.
The Magpie’s stand is simple – this cannot be allowed to happen, it is simply wrong. Arguments that what the hell, it’s peanuts and won’t make a bit of difference to the council bottom line, is a cynical abrogation of responsible community standards and governance.
Now here’s the thing … this CURRENT council has until March 10 to vote on whether to accept a lesser rise, accept no rise at all, or do nothing and get the full recommended increase.
Mayor Mullet tried a little political sashay when the rises were announced, saying she’d see if it could be reversed , knowing full well it can be – it was in full sight on the Tribunal’s website. Didn’t notice it; Tomlinson? But she soon saw the political capital she’d hoped for disappear when Deputy Mayor Vern Veitch jumped in and unequivocally said he would oppose the increase and only support a rise of CPI only.
So if you feel as The ‘Pie does, here’s a easy start to putting the brakes on. When candidates of any stripe come aknockin’ or accost you in a shopping mall or wherever, be upfront before they say anything; make it clear that you will not be voting for ANY candidate that supports this legalized thievery. Well, you don’t have to use those words, but good on you if you do.
Declare that your vote will only go to those who agree to a CPI increase only and frankly, they could live without any raise at all, really.
This is almost worth an online petition. Anyone?
Yoo Hoo, Andy, You There, You Awake Yet?
This bloke looks more or less awake ….
… but one does have to wonder. Meet Andrew Longmire, former media manager for Kid Crisafulli when The Kid was Local Government Minister, and currently in charge of media matters for GI Jayne Arlett.
The short sharp point of this is, if he has been awake and around, he should look for other employment. When those council pay rises hit the media, Jayne came out with a lofty ‘nothing to do with me ‘(what!?!) and ‘it’s never been about the money‘, (irrelevant), and a most supremely naïve ‘it’s not even on my radar’.
Bloody what?? Not on your bloody radar?
Jayne Arlett … on the ball !(ha ha groan).
Listen, Ms Arlett, since no one else will tell you, politics 10-bloody-1: a mayoral candidate must have EVERYTHING that affects ratepayers on her radar, as well as EVERYTHING that affects voter perception. You NEVER say something is nothing to do with you – well, certainly not those off-hand words, anyway. And if you could not see that this was going to be a hot button issue, you’re going to need better advice to get within a bull’s roar of the Mullet. How you could come up with that airey dismissal must‘ve had Les Tyrell, The Kid, Prince Peter and Clr Parsnip heading for their well stocked drinks cabinets. Not to mention the literally thousands out there that want so desperately to vote for you but are holding back, waiting to get some inkling of your overall approach. This doesn’t help.
If Master Longmire let this one through without at least advising you of the considerable downside, may The ‘Pie suggest some one-on-one counseling involving a wet towel on his lap and some bare electrical wires. That might wake him up. And suggest if a similar lapse occurs, you will call on your professional expertise, bring out the bolt cutters and have him singing Toot-Toot-Toosie Goodbye.
Very apt, you’re a pro in remedial footwork, after all.
Now try for some fancy footwork in the political polka.
