Yeah OK, there’s some notes from the bunker on unanswered questions from the week, but in the main, have a holiday read for a few larfs and curiosities. Not sure that white shoe brigader Craig Gore constitutes fun, but sure raises new curiosity. The ‘Pie reports.
But fun … like, ever had a ‘cargasm’ … there’s one police force where that’s an ever-present risk for the boys in blue.
Bentley has joined in the fun, setting you a task of matching the thoughts of Julie Bishop to her facial muggings.
That’s nothing to the look on the faces of the kids tomorrow when they start their traditional Easter Egg hunt. Sorry, too late kids, Fang got there first.
Fang hasn’t been the only one hard at work during the traditional break. Poor old Astonisher reporter extraordinaire Sam The Milkmaid Healy has been roped to work some of the holiday.
Many were surprised to see her heading to work on the holiday, loaded down with her daily fresh steaming pails brimming with adjectives, adverbs, dangling participles and non sequiturs. In fairness, Sam is known as a generous ‘sharer’ so doesn’t keep all the goodies to herself – she happily supplies the whole newsroom with her daily haul, and even remains cheerful when Anthony The Galoot Galloway hogs the non sequiturs, taking most of them for himself. Besides, there’s plenty more where they came from.
Maybe Anthony donated one of his non sequiturs to whoever wrote this headline for the Billionaire News Corpse supplement. It’s easily he week’s best rib tickler.
(Dear Mystified of Mysterton, claiming what ‘really happened’ and then presenting theories – theory: a supposition intended to explain something – is Alice in Wonderland stuff – and it ain’t a News Corpse exclusive nowadays.)
But all The Milkmaid had to do on her Good Friday shift was report a couple of incidents from the ‘police blotter’, as the Yanks say. But the paper responsibily gives us our annual lecture on road behavior and that the wallopers will wallop any offenders. That is as it may be, but the local traffic rozzers will go green with envy at the following.
This is a police car in Dubai – but don’t expect to be thrown in the back in handcuffs.
In Dubai, some might want to be pulled over just get a close look at the cop car … and you might as well pull over smartish, you won’t be getting away: the Dubai cops tool around in, among other lesser a Mercedes SLS, a Bentley Continental GT, a Lamborghini Aventador (350kp/h thank you), a Ferrari FF, a BMW 5 series, a Chevrolet Camaro, a Dodge Charger, and a limited edition Aston Martin One-77 – one of only 77 available around the world (who’da guessed – 1-77?) The police chief says the idea is to show ‘how classy’ Dubai is.
Seems the need for speed has spread to the local ambulance service which now boasts what it says is the fastest ambulance in the world, a Lotus Evora.
The Lotus Evora has been customised for paramedics in the UAE.
The ‘Pie knows some locals here in the ‘Ville (and Sandgroper) who would do themselves a mischief just to get a ride in with the ambo … but where, in the boot?
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Other matters back here at home.
Notes from the social page. John Bearne never seems to stop smiling, but there was an extra bit of wattage when The ‘Pie bumped into him in the supermarket.
John Bearne and Michelle Warrington – then there was three.
He proudly announced he became a proud dad four weeks back, partner Michel presenting baby Charlotte to the world. Mum and bubby Bearne doing fine (but The ‘Pie noted that Jolly John was doing the shopping). As was grossly said here some time ago announcing the impending event, it just goes to prove what some unkind people have always said … that the 68(?) year-old is sometimes off his rocker. Congrats to you both … and Charlotte, too, of course.
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A Labor backroom bear in Brisbane brings the gloomy news that the ALP faction fighting is no less subdued because of these uncertain times … indeed, it would seem that some are seeing self-interested opportunity in amongst the turmoil. And if true, Mayor Mullet must be biting a dainty fingernail.
Qld Deputy Premier Jackie Trad
It seems ultra ambitious and dedicated Left faction stirrer, Jackie Trad, is using her clout within the party (she’s a former Qld ALP assistant state secretary, a branch president and a delegate to the state and national party conferences) to push for a south-east based replacement for Senator Jan McLucas, who is rumoured to be retiring next year.
Senator Jan McLucas – rolling in it like Scrooge McDuck.
The good senator (a rhetorical term only) may not want to play ball, and although heavily rumoured for some time now, swaning off into the suinset doesn’t seem any sure thing, McLucas will not even be 60 when she has to face the electorate again next year, and her position on the ticket will virtually ensure she’s returned. But three or four terms on the plush means she is set for life with perks and cash. But Trad’s current role as deputy premier doesn’t hurt her vaulting ambitions to be a power broker, and apparently wants a Left faction candidate based near her own electorate. A Magpie ponder: maybe she might even nominate herself! Don’t laugh … especially if Anna Alphabet gets entrenched in the state’s top job .
Our Mayor Mullet will be dismayed to hear all this. She sees herself as a mate of Palaszczuk, and sees the premier as a valuable ally to step in when and if McLucas steps down, and helping her achieve a long-cherished goal.
All this would normally be a bit of unreported ho-hum – just more arcane ALP factional silly buggers – except for one thing. Mayor Mullet is our mayor, with the vital role of keeping Brisbane on side as much as those twisters can be kept on side. If she is tempted to get involved in state Labor backroom wrangling and wangling, she will need to ensure she doesn’t get anyone’s nose out of joint or it could affect us all.
And it could get worse from that point of view. The Magpie’s disgruntled Deep Throat suggests that La Trad’s fun and games don’t end there, she is already eyeing off the state’s top job, which, in Labor myth and morality, is fair game since Premier Anna Alphabet is in the Right faction. Seems like the perennial Labor love song ‘A Faction Too Much Friction’ is still good for a while yet. Tim Finn’s generally puerile original lyrics did feature one appropriate sentiment
‘Sit back and watch everything slide,
It’s a perfectly natural
Expression of ill will but
When will hostilities subside .
A political anthem for our times … even more so if the LNP get back in.
Moving on. The ‘Pie rarely ventures onto the international stage, but like many of those of his creaking years, he has been dismayed and alarmed at the slow disintegration of the United States during his lifetime. Religious nut jobs have had a lot to do with it, all of whom are blind to irony. This just about sums it up.
Moving on.
The ‘Pie has been looking into the ‘Gorey’ details of white shoe brigadier Craig Gore, and his alarmingly sudden reappearance in the north as a shot caller (of self interest) in the supposed resurrection of the shattered Port Hinchinbrook Resort at Cardwell (see last week’s blog). The ‘Pie’s beaking around is continuing, and there’ll be more of his ‘community service warning’ in the coming week – it looks bad so far. But in his trolling through the Everest of official documents connected to this twice bankrupt swindler and his real and alleged misdeeds, The ‘Pie came up with an interesting line from Federal Court hearing.
Craig Gore
Gore had once been backed by billionaire pommy industrialist Lord Ashcroft, but fell out with him in a bitter business dispute.
In a subsequent matter, The Australian Security and Investment Commission (ASIC) alleged that Gore and his associates bilked investors of $4.75 million, who believed their superannuation money would be used to buy distressed US properties. ASIC says Gore instead diverted the money to a company controlled by his wife Marina, and no properties were bought. (Bankrupt or not, he still lives the high life on the Gold Coast, in a $3000-per-week rented mansion.)
A corporate lawyer Mark Adamson gave evidence in the Federal court that Mr Gore had established four companies which would be helped by a back-end listing, including one known as SMBLA.
Mr Adamson told an admirably stony-faced court that it was acronym for “Suck My Balls Lord Ashcroft.”
The Gore-man’s all class, and he’s coming to a neighbourhood near you. He’ll be out of bankruptcy on the 17th of this month, which means he can again become a company director, and come blinking back into the light from under his rock, ready to drop the pretence that he is just a consultant on the Hinchinbrook purchase. More on this next week. But a decision on the aforementioned ASIC case is yet to be handed down, so Gore’s eventual destination could be very different to balmy North Queensland.
No one can argue that Craig Gore is an inventive sleaze, but there are plenty of bright people about who turn their inventiveness to productive use, which rather than preying on others, benefits them. Magpie mate Judge Clive Wall, he of the nimble mind a mischievous tongue, was quite taken with a series of bright ideas which, if they haven’t happened yet, will eventually serve the ingenious purpose of solving some everyday problems.
Not quite sure what the point is … hoons would love it.
Now this is a smart idea.
Power strips that expand and rotate. Think there';s a version of this around somewhere.
This one’s even smarter.
These tiles, attached to keys or any other losable item, can be located with your smart phone. They’re are already on the market, advertised on the net. $20 in the US. Us oldies will love ‘em.
Well, that’s Vern Veitch’s Chrissy present sorted.
Coffee cup drip catcher. Cannot believe this hasn’t been thought of before.
Always find a dry seat … not too curious about that wet patch, though. And a great idea for retirement home gardens.
And when the little snots have parked their bikes, they can trot off with their backpacks with build-in hoods.
… and finally, this may be somewhat self-explanatory, but hey, what about the recent reports that smart TVs are now looking back at you and recording your every sound? Yikes!
Enough now, it is away to Poseurs’ Bar where there is a new mood in the air since a sign was erected proclaiming the required attitude – not that we really needed any prompting.
Happy easter, folks.
