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The Magpie

Saturday, May 27th, 2017   |   161 comments

Forget The White Shoe Brigade – The White Turban Brigade Has Not Only Oiled Its Way Into Town – It’s Got a Seat At Our Cabinet Table

The mission: extortion, pure and simple … a deal on royalties or no mine. On Friday, Premier Palaszczuk produced the smoke of refuting any royalties holiday, now we wait for Monday for the mirrors … a rort re-written. Now Canberra is on the spot.

Also, the bookies dilemma … what are the odds on how long Shari Tagliabue will keep her job at the Townsville Bulletin?

Jackbooters sought by the Townsville City Council management – Adele The Impaler Young advertises two positions for professional management spies …

… and an inspired ode to political correctness from a Magpie reader ..

Adani Does A Banquo’s Ghost At The Cabinet Table

You’d think that someone immersed in the Labor Party’s standard modus operandi would know about ambit claims, when one party makes an outlandish claim seeking no less than the earth from another party, in the hope that they might get a hectare or two in the end. But it would seem this standard political and business practice is completely lost on Premier Alphabet.

The oily Adani shysters didn’t take long to realize that the Palaszczuk Government is high on the honker right now, on the nose so much that premier Alphabet faces electoral annihilation for her dithering incompetence.

Game of Drones

Game of Drones

And that she would be a soft target for a bit of extortion. So, as an ambit claim, they put in a bid for a seven year ‘royalties holiday’ for their dud Carmichael mine venture, amounting to an interest free $320million ‘loan’. Now remember, it is known to most that bidders are kidders, and they probably hoped for maybe a year, possibly two.

It is almost certain Adani executive were astounded when Anna Palaszczuk rolled over without a whimper to have her tummy tickled (as Bentley so astutely pointed out last week). And she remained supine until her deputy, Treacherous Trad, laid in a dainty size 10 Blundstone to her ribs. It wasn’t right, Trad argued, and in any event, broke a ‘core’ election promise not to use public money for the project – which in essence was what the royalties deal would do. Trad’s left faction would block it.

Now, instead of examining this argument – which in itself was pretty well undebateable – the Murdoch media went into full foam-flecked lunacy at Trad for revealing what is basically a rort on not just Queenslander, but all Australian taxpayers in general. She is the leader of the party’s left-wing faction who won her Brisbane seat only with the help of Greens preferences. And there can be no doubt that but for this obligation of payback and self-preservation, she would have let the deal go through to keeper and toed the party line. Bentley certainly sees De Natali orchestrating the rumpus.

j trad fin

Palaszczuk was completely blind-sided by her ultra-ambitious deputy, whom she can’t sack because of factional deals. She spent the week in a flustered flap, looking foolish and not in charge, until yesterday, she said Adani would pay full freght on the royalties.

Then came the usual political insult to the intelligence … there would be no ‘holiday’ , she grandly claimed, but there would be instead a ‘deferment’ of royalty payment, with interest accruing until repayment started.

In other words, Adani got what it had wanted all along … what amounts to a loan from Bruce Taxpayer to kick off their venture. That was a loan laughed out the door by Adani’s own government, Indian and International banks and the Australian Big Four, who all deemed a financial suicide investment.

The Lock The Gate Alliance believes Monday will reveal that The Magpie’s analysis is on the money.

“As far as we can see, there’s still a deferral, so they’ve changed their language, they’re calling it a deferral in royalties,” a spokeswoman said. “It’s still a massive loan to Adani using taxpayers’ money.” a Lock The Gate Alliance spokeswoman said.

And like her, and any intelligent onlooker, The Magpie will be looking for the devils in the detail of any agreement … if it is ever revealed to us mug punters, and not hypocritically shunted off behind closed covers stamped Commercial In Confidence. It’s our money involved, so we’re entitled to know.

They obviously breed a cleverer class of crooks on the banks of the Ganges.

This Time The Astonisher Really Has Astonished

We all know the Bulletin’s sloppy approach to reporting news – well, their version of it – is regularly good for a laugh and hoot. But The ‘Pie’s jaw dropped – really it did – when he read Shari Tagliabue’s column in today’s (Sat) paper.

Shari Shazza Tagliabue

Shari Shazza Tagliabue

In a nutshell, Shari put forward a well argued analytical view of an argument you rarely see in a News Ltd publication … but not only that, it was presented right next a diametrically opposed iditorial along the standard Astonisher lines. What the hell is going on? Has she been ordered to try and put The Magpie out of business?

It was indeed breath-taking almost unbelievable stuff.  And there can be no mistaking who Taggers was talking about when she wrote: ‘Childish name calling is a puerile attempt to brainwash the population into thinking a handful of promised jobs in an industry no one is interested in funding or backing is the way forward.’ This written in a paper whose stock in trade is name calling and journalistic jingoism on this subject and most all other subjects. And was written even in the edition that carried this biased anti-Green, pro-Adani, front page.

Anti Adani

Ms Tagliabue – who, one must think, has had a better job offer – also asked ‘When did caring for the future of our land, our ocean, future generations and , yes, jobs – sustainable ones – become such a liability … and (people who used to call themselves green) until ‘green’ was hijacked by politicians who have frankly done the cause for a clean planet no favours at all.’ Oops, Shazza, you forget the word has also been hijacked by the people who own the paper you work for.  If there is a job offer out there, it sure as hell won’t be with News Ltd, maybe the Guardian.

But as he man said on TV, wait, there’s more, as the Tagliabue torrent rolls on. ‘What is far more deserving of criticism is focusing solely on one specific issue in our region – jobs – and pretending that a coal mine will not only solve our woes but that the cumulative effects namely climate change an d health issues, won’t effect us.’ You reading this, Mullet?

Onya Shazza, the Red Badge of Courage coming your way – that’ll impress them down at Centrelink.

This amazing column is a direct challenge to the one-sided megaphone iditorial policy of Ben Bog English. This all the more verging on unbelievable when contrasted with the adjacent iditorial (one suspects written by the Deputy Iditor Damien Tomlinson – the paper’s Andrew Bolt Lite – now there’s an apple that didn’t fall far from the ultra right wing tree, eh, Max?).

Shari column

Onya, Shazza! So read this Magpie statement here right now, because you won’’t see it again in this neck of the woods … GO OUT AND BUY THIS WEEKEND’S BULLETIN AND GO STRAIGHT TO PAGE 40. Enjoy. And be Astonished. There, Ben, don’t say The ‘Pie doesn’t do his bit for your circulation.

Seen Another Way

Here’s another way of looking at the Adani stand-over tactic of ‘no royalty holiday, no mine, ergo no jobs, and political oblivion’ tactic. Let’s take just one aspect of the original deal we were not meant to find out about until it was too late (thank you ABC, an extra cents coming your way).

Queensland foregoes $320M in mining royalties in order to secure the establishment of the mine and ancillary jobs. Maybe 2000 jobs tops, and maybe not even that, but let’s say.

The bottom line of all this if the royalty holiday is granted to this shifty mob, we mug punters will be shelling out $160,000 PER JOB CREATED in what amounts to a finder/placement fee to Adani. Not even Rabeah Krayem could manage that – not that he wouldn’t try.

If such a rort comes to pass, even with different words, it is because instead of being a negotiator with all the aces (after all, we’ve got the coal and Adani want it), Anna Palaszczuk has clearly signaled she has panicked into needy mode with a looming state election centering on employment. What shady. greedy twister wouldn’t try to sink in the fangs?

And each job is equivalent to $160,000 donated to Anna Alphabet’s re-election campaign.

Darker deeds Ahead For The Townsville City Council?

TCC CEO Adele Young

TCC CEO Adele Young

TCC CEO Adele ‘The Impaler’ Young continues apace with Mayor Mullet’s scorched earth policy, with the new council ‘restructure’ – read ‘mass sackings’ which have been applauded by the Bulletin – formally put in place during the week. The slash and burn is presented in a very convoluted and restricted way to the public, but 186 permanent temporary positions are gone and other staff can apply for redundancies. That’s on top of those already shunted off or walking.

The council management’s numbers version of all this is lovingly and approvingly documented in the Astonisher, but what isn’t mentioned (not that The ‘Pie could find) is this, from the ‘job vacancies’ on the TCC website.

Screen shot 2017-05-25 at 2.47.10 PM

Silly old ‘Pie was under the impression that this is what Section and department heads were meant to do, handle complaints and keep a check of their staff. So what’s been going on? Have w not been told of the reason for crying need, has there been massive corruption involving the stationery cupboard? And more importantly, what WILL BE going on when the trench-coats arrive?

It could be seen that reporting directly to The Impaler is the start of a structure of fear and intimidation plain and simple. There would be a mile of honeyed words worthy of Yes Minister if The Astonisher or even the ABC got around to asking about this, but the bottom line is this is empire building … and one suspects the Labor back room boys aren’t too distant from the insidious move. The ‘Pie gets a funny feeling that Mayor Mullet had better watch her back, too, she hasn’t been beyond a bit of hanky panky either, The ‘Pie is unreliably told.

Good luck, Townsville.

Mixed Message Of The Week

Barking dogs are understandably a constant course of neighborhood disputes, and attempts to get Fido to pipe down rarely work. But it would appear that a photo accompanying an Astonisher story on the topic illustrates a foolproof way to mute the mutt, although one doubts the cops are too keen on the idea.

Rupert the dog

No doubt some of the elderly readers (are there any other sort left?) reached for the smelling salts, but it maybe the photographer suggested this drastic pose when she was told the dog’s name was Rupert.

Some Of Life’s Little Mysteries Explained

It was a week of accelerating weirdness in the bAstonisher.

First this, as commented by The Magpie during the week.

May 23, 2017 at 9:26 am  (Edit)

As a commenter said here recently on another matter – WTF with a capital fuck.

Screen Shot 2017-05-23 at 8.27.12 am

Aside from the unintenbded yukyukery of the headline, why in God’s name would anyone boast that a tragic catastrophic event was good for business? Indeed, why mention it at all, unless you’re a dying, floundering publication?

Disgraceful.

Despite the Tony Raggatt by-line, that story was obviously a straight-fom-Holt St HQ release with the latest guffaw from that little trollop EMMA (Enhanced Media Metrics Australia – emphasis on the ‘enhanced’) which expects us to believe this dying publication is read every weekday by 80,000 people, almost half the population!. The reliable Roy Morgan people put the figure at about 43000 Monday to Friday, and even that is hard to believe.

Then there was the head scratcher when the paper referred to a demand by Mayor Mullet as ‘bizarre’, which certainly seemed appropriate in the context.  The ‘Pie wasn’t alone in wondering about such an unusual swerve in allegiance by the Astonisher, given the Bulletin’s unquestioning adulation for all things Jenny.  it seemed a strange. Mayor Mullet had questioned the legality of coral in a Cairns Aquarium, one of the undoubted hot button items forefront of mind for Townsville readers.

Then Magpie mate Peter dropped in a copy of the Cairns Post he picked up on a recent trip north, and lo and behold, it was all explained – the story was lifted intact from the Cairns Post where the yarn originated.

Screen shot 2017-05-27 at 11.13.14 PM

You can expect more of this boring cross over stuff as News Ltd cut staff, and look outside their circulation area to fill space. Like this leap frogging which was premium Content recently.

Cairns woman diesA Cairns woman killed in Brisbane in an accident? What next … Rocky bloke gets speeding fine in Mackay? Airlie Beach grey nomads get flat tyre in Innisfail? This paper really has its finger on something, but its not the pulse.

Then this bizzare suggestion of its own, in its desperate search for readers.

Morgan

Note the careful wording, which only implies he learnt of his Origin situation through reading his fate on the on-line Bulletin’s free device, which of course he didn’t: Walters does what every other selector/coach does in selection matters, and gave him a personal phone call. Morgan confirmed on Fox Sport that Walters had called him personally on the phone.

Bet Morgo is lapping the Premium Content for subsctibers. Like this.

Screen shot 2017-05-25 at 9.05.11 AM

C’mon, you dolts, wadda ya waitin’ for? This is PREMIUM stuff.

Oh, and BTW, the next circ figures for the Bulletin – which will tell us if the by now hundreds of thousands of dollars the paper has spend on trying to sell digital subscriptions has paid off – will be posted here on August 13 (that’s for the previous six months to June).

The Moron Medal For Mayors

And, no, it’s not Our Mullet. The hands down winner of the medal, awarded for empty headed fuckwittery, goes to this bloke …

Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate

Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate

… the Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate. He gets the gong to his answer to the dopey question if he thought, in the wake of the Manchester bastardry, that there would be heightened problems for next year’s Commonwealth games. Instead of the correct answer , to wit’ How the fuck would I know, I’m just a mayor and you’re just looking for something sensational’ … he gave them something that raised serious questions about which planet he has just arrived from.

he asked why they would both, saying ‘Look let’s be honest, Australia, we haven’t hurt anyone.’ he added hat the terrorists were a bit busy in Europe and we were a long way away.

Geez, he would’ve made a great keynote speaker at the Uluru reconciliation gabfest over the past week.

 

Speaking Of Mayors …

Want to hear Mayor Mullet explain herself about using ratepayer money to shout a Bulletin reporter who works with a billion dollar multinational company a trip to India? Who wrote nice things about her in return?Then be at Molly Malone’s on Monday June 5th, 5.30, where Mayor Mullet says she’ll be there with the Powerpoint presentation she made to council about her Adani trip to India. The ‘Pie has seen it, and no mention of this question has been broached, so best someone ask her.

After this post, good bet she’ll find a reason not to be there.

Spooky Moment Of The Week

Remember seeing this pic of Prez Trump and pals in Saudi Arabia?

Saruman

Well, actually, you didn’t, that bloke on the left is Sauran, the necromancer from lord of the Rings. Returning from the outhouse, He mistook the Middle East for Middle Earth. But he didn’t look out of place at all, but this was the real pic ,,, which actually looks just as unreal.

Trump et al

But it’s been a magical mystery tour forThe Trumpet, who gets things a little confused at times.

TRump israel wall

A PC Message From A Commenter … Er, that’s for Poetically Correct.

 

After The ‘Pie’s dust-up about political correctness last week. A reader was moved to pen the following bit of clever doggerel.

Kingswood

May 22, 2017 at 1:57 pm  (Edit)

I’m offended

I’m offended by the smell from next door’s bins,

I’m offended by the squeak of the front door’s hinge,

I’m offended by the pc brigade,

I’m offended by their pompous rage,

I’m offended by hilux utes,

I’m offended by butch dyke brutes,

I’m offended when my grass turns brown,

I’m offended now my cactus’ drowned,

I’m offended when mums let babies cry,

I’m offended when there’s no blue in the sky,

I’m offended when politicians lie,

I’m offended by Trump’s choice in tie,

I’m offended by cold onion rings,

These are a few of my offended things.

Well, Kingswood, here’s something else to offend you … too close to the truth to be funny, really.

More education18620302_10155533893411842_2388476957409014423_n

But To Leave On A Lighter Local Note

The ‘Pie rather liked this comment exchange during the week, when someone suggested The Magpie should run for mayor.

The Magpie 

May 21, 2017 at 8:57 pm  (Edit)

That would be the definitive donkey vote.

  • Hee-Haw

 May 22, 2017 at 10:35 am  (Edit)

As a regular(ish) contributor to this blog could I claim copyright on the donkey vote comment please

  • The Magpie

May 22, 2017 at 10:38 am  (Edit)

Sorry, The ‘Pie made an ass of himself. Wasn’t thinking, been too busy braying for grain.

That’s it for this week. Donations to help defray costs of the blog are always appreciated, if you’re in the mood, Donate button below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

161 Comments

  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Just when ratepayers and business people thought that after the TCC restructure they could get on and complete so many of their missed deadlines like river boardwalks and many other projects and god forgive “reduce rates”,Adele the impaler throws more curve balls announcing new positions.The new positions including a Placemaker position and city Economist plus new sector groups focusing on digital cities,defence and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island Principals which from an outsiders view is duplication of what is already available in the city and what TCC already pays for.The other missing link are our 10 Councillors with add ons must cost the city over $2 mil who in the nous report findings “Governance “Unclear roles and responsibilities councillors/EMT/LMG positions and recommendations ‘develop efficient,effective and productive work relationships between Goverance(Mayor and Councillors) operations and admin.Based on the fact the Councillors seem to be so micro managed from the Mayors office and cant even respond to residents emails and with this great new structure from Mayor Mullet and the Impaler do we need 10 Councillors?.

    • The Magpie says:

      And (serious question) what pray tell is a Placemaker? Anyone know?

      • Ronny Rotten says:

        Might this be the prrson who sets the places at the TCC High Table and decides who sticks their noses in the trough?
        Oops, sorry…. that position is already occupied by Mullet and the Impaler.

      • Lady Byron says:

        Something you stick in your heart so you know where it is?

      • Critical says:

        Google search reveals that a lot of this placemaking has been happening in Adelaide and a couple of other places on NSW and Victoria. Looks like it’s used to tart up dead areas of the city for the generation X &Y lot so look out Townsville ratepayers your hip pockets probably going to be hit again as this mob ate probably going to try to revive the CBD again if they follow the Adelaide example.

        • The Magpie says:

          Maybe flatten Walker Street and raise the intellectual level of that site by building a skateboard park?

          • Critical says:

            Great idea. Opening a psychiatric clinic next door to the Walker Street buildngs only seems to have decreased the intelligence level and increased the lunacy levels in the Walker Street buildings.

  2. Kenny Kennett says:

    Couple of questions:
    Despite the Councillors being Independent, are they all NOW members of the ALP?
    And with Rabieh resigning from the Fury, will HE be the TCC Placemaker? He’s the sort of guy that could define it, in fact he probably invented it (made to measure).
    I also notice that David Crisafulli has won preselection for Broad Water/beach (one of them) for the next election. If he wins, here’s hoping he goes back into the Local Govt ministership portfolio.

    • The Magpie says:

      As for The Kid, The Magpie (pauses here to buff his claws on his chest and looks humbly at the ground) here in this very blog some months ago predicted word for word howe this has turned out so far .. and is confident that, don’t worry about a portfolio, he WILL be premier of this state one day, and maybe soon. The ‘Pie is a policy based old bird, but he reckons we could (and are doing) do a lot worse. I’m not an unthinking rusted on fan, but he hasn’t done anything massively untoward so far (except maybe the Goth-like vandalism of one of the finest streetscapes of majestic palm tress in Flinders Street East, now clearly a massive mistake makinbg that strip even drearier by day.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        It seems every regional community has someone like Krayhem, moved from the big smoke after failing miserably there, full of piss and wind about their grand achievements, crawled, grovelled and kissed arse to keep getting appointed to all sorts of committees, boards and any other freeloading entity they can attach themselves to. Word at the golf club yesterday from the soccer people was an expectation the game in the North will flourish now this perennial failure has moved on.

        • The Magpie says:

          Adding to that, here is something from a Magpie mate yesterday who really does know what’s going on with this.

          “Big story in today’s sports section regarding Rabieh Krayem stepping down from the NQ Fury. If you read what the Astonisher has served up you’d think that Rabieh was a pillar of the community – the soccer community at least.
          Truth is that he is despised by 90% of the local soccer crowd. A lot of top players have refused to play for the Fury while Ian Ferguson was coach and Rabieh was chairman.
          Ferguson resigned in embarrassment last year after failing to win a single game all season, and now Rabieh has gone, not because he wants to hand over to someone else, but because Qld Football gave the new Townsville Football-Fury partnership the word that they wouldn’t keep their team in the competition unless Rabieh disappeared.
          A decision on whether the Fury continue to exist will be announced this coming week, so the timing of Rabieh’s retirement is noteworthy.
          Also noteworthy is that readers are not given the opportunity to comment on the Rabieh story on the Astonisher website. Old mates and protectionism again!!!!
          Also note that Corby is STILL the lead story in the online edition at 10.25am. Could it be that the local website is being managed by someone in Sydney????

  3. Rusty Nail says:

    From a position description in Auckland: “Placemaking is recognised as a fundamental tool for creating healthy, thriving and connected environments. .. . To champion public space as a civic asset that contributes to the creation of healthy, resilient cities.”
    I hadn’t heard of it either. Not sure how long it’s been around.

    • The Magpie says:

      In other words, a Labor social engineering tool to disguise crony and toady stacking. And why do we need this position, isn’t that why we elect councillors and pay them money they would only ever otherwise dream of? Question: is this a new position?

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        Sounds like a Town Planner? Must have sacked the previous one(s). Surely they won’t duplicate roles.

        • Dragnet says:

          It should be a role for someone in the planning department and be answerable to the planning director. The trouble is they don’t have one and haven’t been able to find one since Graham Bolton left when the impaler arrived almost 12 months ago.

  4. Hercule Poirot says:

    I note the future LNP Premier of Qld ROMPED in with Pre-selection for the seat of Broadwater Last nite… 90 votes to 24 Look out Tim … Go Kid ….

  5. Sandgroper says:

    Great to see Shari so eloquently express views contrary to the overall editorial agenda. My assessment of Ben English as an editor has also been considerably boosted.

    It will be interesting to see how the thread of comments to the article unfurls. So far, public support seems firmly behind Shari.

    • The Magpie says:

      And keep an eye on \Max’s kid, Julian Tomlinson … things point towards bigger things for the man The ‘Pie has dubbed Andrew Bolt Lite.

  6. The Magpie says:

    An absolute must-watch for the funniest thing you’ll see today. Hilarious.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m90GMzCsjCQ

    • Jack Flash says:

      An absolute hoot! And how sad to realise that public interest in this drug-smuggling loser has outlasted our memories of the momentous events which have occurred since she was busted.

      • The Magpie says:

        You are of course referring to TEN’s lamentable omission of The Magpie leaving the Bulletin, are you not? Heh heh heh … don’t bother replying.

  7. Momentus says:

    ‘The Kid’, David C had to move to Brisbane as many others I may add.
    To think what could have been. ? ? ?
    A Premier in Townsville. Then it would be watch out ‘Bris Vegas’..
    Fantastic and go all the way… David

  8. Guy says:

    Magpie

    You are going to hate me saying this but the advert for internal investigators at townsville council is exactly whats needed.

    Townsville has suffered terribly under the stupidity of existing council staff. I’m told about one section where the son has employed his dad as a manager below him ( something they might have got away with unless they hadn’t a go at then tried getting everyone else out the door to no doubt have a go at filling the empty positions with other family members).

    As far as i can see the CEO is doing some urgent house keeping to rid the work force of serious problems that have done terrible damage to townsville either through wilful stupidity or underhand connivance.

    • Current employee of council number 1 says:

      Guy you are a complete “DICKHEAD”

    • Old Hack says:

      Seriously, Guy, every. council employee knows who these rorters are. It is only because of patronage from the top echelon (and often because the featherbedders know where the bodies are buried) that they continue to thrive.
      Do you seriously think this move is designed to root out Mullet cronies and sycophants? The aim is to purge dissidents.
      Bet my bottom dollar that the spin-doctor department does not get a haircut. They are privy (rather appropriate word) to the dirty secrets and experts at ego-massage.

    • Dutch Reverand says:

      Guy, you need to apply for one of the positions. Sounds like you’re just the person the Impaler is looking for. No questions asked or qualifications required. For the Management that is being replaced to perform the tasks they have untrusted to them requires direction and leadership. Neither of which is possible under the current regime.

  9. Critical says:

    BBQ chat tells me that she has got rid of a number of General Managers that were appointed late 2016 and early 2017 what did it cost to pay out those contracts. Also staff were told by email that they were in positions that were now redundant. Staff reckon that there is a lot of smoke and mirrors in the fugures being released and no one can work out the true number of full time job loses. Others wonder if the purpose of the restructure has now become a budget exercise because the value of the wages saved is about the same as the reduction of money they will not get in the next financial year. Older staff are now worried because she has apparantly set up a working group to look at what to do about older workers because according to the nous bible there are too many older workers in council. Truth probably is that they wish they weren’t there either but the government keeps raising the pension age and any who have financial investments probably aren’t doing well with the current economic situation and the impact of the GFC. Wonder why the Bulletin isn’t screaming not fair etc about the loss of council jobs after how tbey screamed last year when Yabulu closed

  10. Joe the plumber says:

    Interesting rant by WFTAG Linda last week when someone dared to put something on Facebook which was not true.
    WFTAG, and Linda and Allan in particular, frequently post “water supply facts” which are not true. For instance their current one is that the evaporation out of Ross Dam is currently 20-30 MLD. That makes the TCC pumping strategy look very questionable. The reality is that the evaporation is around 120 MLD. It is very clear then that pumping now would just be feeding the evaporation.
    My source of information is the evaporation graph presented in an award winning presentation by the Water Manager (impaled in the round 1 TCC sackings) at a conference in Townsville last year. He is the one who established the current pumping strategy. Linda, with her PHD, should well understand the importance of being able to reference the information that you quote. Pot calling the kettle……

    • The Magpie says:

      ‘Impaled’ … love it. Expect all communications regarding the council to use ‘inmpaled’ where appropriate instead of sacked or otherwise shafted, The best compliment The ‘Pie ever received in eight years of his Bulletin column was when the old bird had made merry in a slightly disparaging way of some local luminary, who then went around boasting that he’d been ‘magpied’! Ha, fame is such a fleeting thing.

      • Allan says:

        To Joe the plumber
        Yes I do talk about a seepage and evaporation rate of 20 to 30 MLPD
        That is in relation to the water delivered via the pipeline not a dam evaporation rate two, completely different figures
        On the graph the evaporation rate drops dramatically once the level goes below 10%
        We know and I will not mention the name as they are still in the market for work (maybe most dont) who presented the paper and yes it won an award which was well deserved
        Which was why the pumping rate was suppose to start at 10% to lessen the evaporation from the shallow part of the dam
        For some strange reason council changed to 15%, but left the restriction levels at the previous settings

        • The Magpie says:

          Now that is a REALLY interesting comment at the end.

          • Joe the plumber says:

            My comment on incorrect information on WFTAG (not on the WFTAG agenda) was based on written comments. Perhaps Allan needs to reflect on what he has published.

            The TCC 15% conspiracy theory appears to be just that. The water restriction policy does not name a pump start % and at the conference last July a forecast was presented for a 15% pump start in Nov 16 – and that is what happened.

            I cannot see where TCC has committed to 10% as the start level during the current drought.

          • Allan says:

            I can not put screen shots up Joe but the youtube shows the 10% figure just the voice over now no longer mentions it this is from the councils own website https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PUfnJKkZQU

        • Grumpy says:

          What price punctuation, syntax, lucidity and logical sentence construction?

          This is why you guys are disappearing up your own self important, verbose arses.

          • Sandgroper says:

            Onya, Grumps. You have to approach some comments like a dyslexic crossword puzzle.
            Mind you, I find that part of the fun and hope everybody keeps contributing.

    • Linda Ashton says:

      Ditto.

  11. Miss Lou says:

    Always good,
    Always entertaining.

    Respectively Yours,

    Miss Lou.
    8:22 pm

  12. Linda Ashton says:

    NB THE MAGPIE WRITES: THIS REPLY HAS BEEN EDITED FOR LENGTH AND RELEVANCE. THESE MATTERS ARE BETTER DISCUSSED ON THE WFT SITE UNLESS THEY HAVE DIRECT RELEVANCE TO PAST COUNCIL ACTIONS AND BUREAUCRATIC DECISIONS. THE MAGPIE’S NEST COVERS A BROAD CHURCH OF COMMUNITY CONCERNS WITH HUMOUR WHERE POSSIBLE, WHICH SHOULD NOT BE DOMINATED BY INCREASINGLY TEDIOUS SINGLE ISSUE TIT-FOR-TAT.THIS WILL BE KEPT IN MIND WITH ALL FUTURE COMMENTS ON THIS SUBJECT.

    Joe the plumber and co-critics of my (our) efforts to establish and manage the WFTAG agenda –

    your criticisms would be valid IF ….
    you had voiced concerns relentlessly (with costed practical alternatives) to council, local MPs and candidates, the state government & opposition, fed government & opposition, formed a 12,000+ fb group, documented countless stories from anxious residents, worked daily with equally dedicated volunteers, spent 6 months straight engaged in hydrology study, listened to heart-wrenching stories from desperate local business owners who unfortunately didn’t have a crystal ball to see the current crisis coming when they mortgaged their homes to get off the dole and start a garden care franchise, written a 450 page report after extensive collaborative research, attended public forums and gained enough credibility in 5 months to be represented on the Water Taskforce process, and given up quality time with family and precious grandies who deserve the water security we are fighting for?
    No??????

    I’m about to read 100 fb notifications at 11.15pm and respond where appropriate. Retirement was a breeze before this.

    When I started this thing I thought it was just about water. Never has been and probably never will be. If you have any useful ideas of how else we should go about this – ours is a public site.

    • Current employee of council number 1 says:

      Here we go again! !!!!!!!

    • Linda Ashton says:

      Agree Pie. 2 Tits and a singular focus – Water security. Jo Plumber etal all welcome. You’ve deserted the cause?? As you well know it always WAS and IS about council state and government inertia and ineptitude. I’m not the enemy here. Can’t dominate cos you can edit or not approve. Pie power.

      • The Magpie says:

        Ah, a gleam of light through the muddled verbiage, a light shining on a hidden agenda, perhaps?
        You say ‘it always WAS and IS about council state and government inertia and ineptitude’. Opposition to that is known by a single word – ta-dum – politics.
        And you say that and yet you still insist on parroting the non-sequitur ‘apolitical’. The light this throws on the problem is that it shows you totally misunderstand ‘apolitical’
        – ‘not interested or involved in politics’, which you take to mean ‘ not of any party’. But if you, through an action, a candidacy, a donation or a Facebook page strive to change the political status quo, then, although not of a party (only a policy) YOU ARE POLITICAL. ‘Deserted the cause’? You can onlY HAVE a ’cause’ if you are POLITICAL’.
        Well at least you’ve unwittingly admitted it, although it would appear you still don’t get it.

        And it appears – even with a history of English education behind you – you still have a wrestle with words and analysis when you say ‘I’m not the enemy here. Can’t dominate cos you can edit or not approve.’ Linda, you don’t debate ‘enemy’, you debate a proposition, seeking to find the logical outcome of fair argument. But it is a dead giveaway when you admit you would like to dominate The ‘Pie and have a little blub about the fact that this site is edited and sometimes meets the disapproval of someone else.(POT-KETTLE?) Your alternative of course, in your version of free speech, is anarchy, where anyone can do anything, including disruptive whingeing and eristic arguments (look it up).

        Well you can’t here, and any further comment will be closely considered before publication, this all getting boring. To paraphrase Menzies ‘the tour of your mind would be far more enlightening were it not being conducted in the gathering darkness.’

    • Alex DeLarge says:

      Never mind the depth – it’s all about the width…

      • Ronny Rotten says:

        Yep. Noise and numbers, with no political smarts. They need some mongrel street-fighters with media savvy.

  13. Current employee of council number 1 says:

    Here’s a useful idea help get rid of the mullet and half your problems are gone and you can stop wasting time writing all this stuff because we would have been on the way to a second pipeline if not had it finished.

  14. Bully Boy says:

    Just a correction: there are 2 Tomlinsons on the News Ltd payroll – Damian, who is Deputy Editor of the Astonisher and Julian, who is based in Cairns and has some sort of editorial management role with the regional papers in NQ. Both are good guys and excellent journalists, although I don’t always agree with what they write. Damian would be a good replacement for English – NQ boy who has ethics. Julian is younger but is headed for a similar role in the future. Their father Max was the best general manager the Astonisher ever had. During his time the paper flourished and had record circulation. If News Ltd ever get the message about why circulation is in free fall they should bring Max back. A fairer fellow you’d find nowhere.

    • The Magpie says:

      Whoops, The ‘Pie apologises. But he’s not sure whether to Julian or Damien. And yes, Max is a good enough fellow and has shown he can be a bit of a maverick in the News firmament, which is why he was shown the door in the first place. he certainly stuck up for Townsville’s best interests … and paid a price.

      BTW a Magpie mate says Max is still ultra cranky with The ‘Pie over some comments concerning his son-in-law. Still shooting the messenger, Max?

    • Sandgroper says:

      Agree with everything you say about Max. I worked with him on a number of projects and have great respect for his community spirit, commonsense and ability to cut through red tape.
      I was a real blow for Townsville and the Bulletin when he accepted the posting to Adelaide and his successors moved in like termites to destroy a once-proud newspaper.

      • The Magpie says:

        Doubt he had much choice but to ‘accept’ the move, more’s the pity.

        • The Magpie says:

          The Magpie, who only just joined the Astonisher shortly before Max left stands corrected and accepts DK’s setting the record straight. Max T was well regarded by Holt Street and rightly so. Unfortunately, the Peter Principle came into effect soon afterwards – SA cliques in any business are the nastiest in the land.

  15. The old peterbuilt says:

    I would like to comment on three women this week in three completely different situations. 1 schappell Corby. Did the crime and served the time. I’m prepared to forgive and forget. But I have a couple of concerns, who is paying for the security and diversionary motorcades etc. we are talking tens of thousands of dollars and my other issue is with the disgusting behaviour of the media. I assume they are all trying to get a boost in their ratings and so an increase in revenue. On that basis they should be charged under the proceeds of crimes act. 2 Margaret court. Same sex marriage. Live and let live i say and I was happy to give this group of society a vote but on principle not now. Initially this movement , backed by labour and the greens who will back the devil if they think there is a vote in it, called for a plebiscite but then realised it wasn’t binding and they don’t want a referendum because they are shit scared of it being outvoted so they want a parliamentary vote because Canberra is full of left wing socialists. This week mrs court voiced her opinion that she didn’t agree with same sex marriage. Under our democracy that is her right. In return she was verbally abused and bullied by the ssm lot. That is the way of the left ,if someone disagrees , abuse them out of the debate and thus silence them. Your blatant stand over
    tactics have cost you my vote if I ever get the chance. 3. Adele the impaler. The high priestess of the wherthfukrwe tribe was recently seen laying on her back in a short skirt on the office floor with her feet up on a chair. The office staff were looking at each other trying to work out what she was doing. Ideas such as stretching her back , looking at the ceiling for electronic bugs, meditating and then a crusty old girl walked past the horizontal impaler and when she got to the other end of the office the curious staff enquired i,what do you reckon she is doing ? Havent got a fuckin clue but it’s a big thing when you look into it!

    • The Magpie says:

      The M agpie says
      1.Corby can’t get any money from anyone under the Proceeds of Crime provisions, but her media hound sister Mercedes will be there with an open purse. Really nice family, the Corbys. And let’s drop the ‘convicted out of ‘convicted drug smuggler’. She’s a drug smuggler period, and brought great shame on Australia’s criminal community by being such a dumb fuckwit.
      2. Yes, on all points.
      3. The ‘Pie is now reaching for a wire brush to scrub his eyeballs free of that image. The Impaler and Little Patty and her PNG selfie stick should get together a wild night out (or in) together (model plane indeed … sure, Ando).

    • Sandgroper says:

      God-botherers generally leave me cold and I could not care less about who does what to whom in the bedroom, but the gay lobby is becoming insufferabe.
      The same people who complained bitterly about prejudice and discrimination are now vilifying Margaret Court and any others who dare to express an opinion contrary to theirs.
      Mrs Court was very respectful in presenting her argument that marriage is a covenant between man and woman. It is a shame she was not accorded the same courtesy by her hysterical detractors.

      • The Magpie says:

        While The ‘Pie completely agrees with your point of view on this Gropes, perhaps the thrust of the angst is her publicly announced boycott of Qantas because of the poor man’s Elton John, CEO Brian Joyce, is in a gay relationship. Calling for commercial damage to uninvolved shareholders (she obviously wants people to follow her example, otherwise why bother?) because of personal prejudices born of a blinkered faith-based opinion is a somewhat different ball game. But dropping the name Margaret Court Arena? Get serious folks, like her or not, she is one of the world’s greats of the game, an achievement totally separate to any personal views she held then or now.

        Twerps.

  16. Soccer fan says:

    Regarding the Rabieh Krayem story, I’ve heard that he resigned from the Fury because he is going to have a run at the State election later this year.
    He’ll be running with the Smoke and Mirrors Party of which he has been a member for many years.
    Word has it that his election campaign will be funded by the Cronulla Leagues Club, North Queensland Cowboys, Ben English and a string of failed recruitment companies.
    Given his standing in the local soccer community, he can rely on at least a handful of votes from there but he certainly won’t get any voted from Cowboys fans, who booed him off Dairy Farmers Stadium just prior to him getting the bullet (which led to the Cowboys finally coming good).
    But maybe he can get some traction by claiming that by leaving the Fury he opened the door for the game to finally thrive in North Qld.

    • Soccer fan says:

      Correction: Ben English is going to be Rabieh’s campaign manager, a role that he already plays.

  17. Regular reader says:

    More egg on face for Astonisher editor Ben English this morning.
    Saturday’s front page screamed: YOU CAN’T #STOP ADANI.
    Todays front page says Adani OFF THE RAILS.
    Fair dinkum, when is News Limited going to see the light and move this biased editor somewhere – anywhere – else?
    Give us back our local newspaper, but please, no more blow-ins.
    There are some ideal candidates for the job right here in Townsville in Ray Anderson and Damian Tomlinson, both of whom are North Queenslanders and ethical journalists.

    • The Magpie says:

      The Magpie effectively cruelled the steady Ray Anderson when in an early blog or two recommended him as just what the paper needed. The last thing Holt Street wants is someone who actually thinks for themselves, which is why the paper’s ‘Andrew Bolt Lite’, Damien Tomlinson, might be the local sop News in Sydney throws to us. Be wary of that, since it clear that Max’s favourite little boy has his eye on bigger things, and he would see any tenure as a brief stepping stone – he’s not a bad writer and his tenor and subject matter shows he is desperate for a bigger stage. And there is the distinct possibility that his ultra conservative Cory Bernardi-eque view of the world will continue to taint the Bulletin’s pages under his stewardship – just what the Gilded Few ordered.

  18. Doug Kingston says:

    At 12.05am on Saturday morning, residents in Palmer and Morehead Streets were woken by the sound of screaming on the street.
    Didn’t do a head count but I estimate there were approx 60 indigenous people fighting on the street outside the Morehead Street entrance to Crown On Palmer restaurant.
    Not sure where they came from but given they were all well dressed (definitely not street people) they had possibly been at the Crown On Palmer, which closes at midnight.
    Local residents, and I assume the Crown On Palmer management, called the police and the response was impressive – inside 10 minutes no less than 8 squad cars and paddy wagons arrived, along with two senior plain clothed officers in unmarked cars.
    The police quickly got the explosive situation under control, although there were still smaller break-outs of fighting along Palmer Street, which were also quickly controlled. Eventually police moved the mob on and it was left to the two ambulances in attendance to clean up the mess. I saw two stretchers unloaded and taken to the Crown On Palmer entrance.

    There was blood all over the pavement outside the entrance to Crown On Palmer on Saturday morning.
    I checked the Astonisher’s online edition at 7.20am to see if they had it covered, but to my astonishment the main page was pretty much the same as the day before, with “How Close Corby Came to Firing Squad” as the lead (strong local news story that!).

    Scrolling down I found – after eight other stories including one on an NBA player facing fraud charges – a brief “update” on the Queensland cabinet approving a deferred royalty holiday for Adani – a story which is emblazoned across the front page of Saturday’s print edition.
    So this online news service they are trying to get us to pay for wasn’t updated on Friday night after the cabinet decision came through.
    How long would it have taken to replace the stale Corby story with the Adani news?

    Just goes to prove that Townsville definitely needs a serious online newspaper.

    • The Magpie says:

      Want to see a panicked scramble by the Astonisher? They might find it a bit hard to ignore this – since television is over there covering it this morning! Too stingy to renew the $10 per day scannerman contract, who never missed a thing.

      Yet another Astonishing epic fail.

      Seems the timeline for on-line Astonisher Exclusive Premium Content stories is now 5 days to infinity (i.e not mentioned at all).

      How long before we have a front page screamer ‘Japan Surrenders’?

    • Okd Hack says:

      Finally reported about an hour ago.

      • The Magpie says:

        See they do read The Magpie blog/Facebook/Twitter … the old bird doesn’t want them to miss out permanently. The ‘Pie will admit to a little naughtiness in this matter … Doug K gave me the details on Saturday, and The ‘Pie decided to wait to see when the Astonisher would catch up. But hear this … it was only the mention of TV covering that got them of their arses. Wonder if a story tomorrow will be either or both Exclusive/Premium Content. This can’t get much funnier, better than the Keystone Kops.

  19. Lord Howard Hertz says:

    God made the anus for ONLY two purposes. One is smuggling drugs.

    Anything else is … well, how do you think I got my name?

  20. Doug K says:

    I can assure everyone that Max Tomlinson wasn’t “pushed” by anyone when he left the Bulletin to move to Adelaide.
    The profits being churned out of the Bully at that time were astronomical, and he was seen by Harto (News Ltd CEO) and the Holt Street gang as a very astute operator – hence the offer of a huge promotion to manage a capital city newspaper.
    He thought long and hard about it before accepting. I know, because I was working for him at the time and he asked me what I would do.
    I told him I’d stay in Townsville, but mainly for the lifestyle, fishing and crabbing.
    He doesn’t eat fish or crabs.

  21. J jones says:

    vale JJ – another one
    No longer at the astonisher

  22. Dex Taginata says:

    The cargo ship Magpie is due into the Port of Townsville on 1st June. Unfortunately its cargo is fertilizer, as if we don’t get enough with the Astonisher. Other unkind souls may think the blame for the BS is more adjacent.

    https://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/details/ships/shipid:3367117/mmsi:352597000/vessel:MAGPIE%20SW

  23. Cantankerous but happy says:

    A new reef pontoon with a water slide opened off Cairns today, something more for the tourists to do when in town, meanwhile in Townsville Jack shit nothing as usual, probably get a story soon about dickhead Les Walker and his wave pool next to the railway line and port in South Townsville.

  24. Achilles says:

    From time to time minor errors appear from contributions to the Pie-osphere but remember that:-

    Every time you make a typo, the errorists win

  25. Buttered Parsnip says:

    In my many years in the mining industry I learnt that new mines need to have a cost base in the lower quartile of all producers to be bankable.

    Carmichael, having relatively low quality coal and being a very long way from a port would always struggle to get up. Unless of course some schmuck ponies up the cost of the railway. And some other schmuck gives a royalty reprieve.

    And schmucks there are aplenty. An unholy alliance of Canavan/Joyce and Palasczcuk/Pitt, cheered on by Ms Mullet and TEL are playing fast and loose with our money. OUR MONEY.

    Oh wait it’s, only a loan….that’s alright then. NO ITS NOT …. when this goes belly up any cash from the venture will be firmly salted away in the Caymans

    The schmucks (us) will never see our money again.

    And…. buggerall jobs either. Unless you are a robot

  26. Doug K says:

    The Townsville Bulletin has finally caught up with the brawl outside Crown On Palmer, posting a small story in its online edition (which has since disappeared).
    But you had to scoll down through 10 others including “Man collared on dog neglect” and yet another Corby beat-up to find it.
    Then in this morning’s paper – nothing!
    Is the editor trying to pretend it didn’t happen?
    Channel 7, which had a reporter over at Crown On Palmer at 10am Monday, ran it as its lead on Monday night but the Bully editor, after missing such a big story, obviously got the sulks and treated a brawl involving more than 50 people as a minor event – or in the case of today’s print edition, a non-event.
    In the online story, instead of a detailed report on the ugly incident, which required the attendance of 10 police cars, paddy wagons and unmarked cars, what we got was a few quotes from the police. No interview with the Crown On Palmer manager and no quotes from any of the numerous eye witnesses who live in the Solarus Apartments, right above the restaurant.
    And significantly, no date nor mention of where the all-in brawl took place – right outside the Morehead Street entrance to Crown On Palmer.
    Had they bothered to get out of the Flinders Street bunker and come over to the scene of the crime they might have picked up another good yarn.
    On May 26 the company that owns the Crown On Palmer premises – South Townsville Investments Pty Ltd – was placed into liquidation: https://www.insolvencynotices.com.au/notice/south-townsville-investments-pty-ltd
    If the editor decides to swallow his pride and do a story on this, hopefully he will instruct his journos do actually ask some questions, unlike the last time there was a liquidation regarding Crown On Palmer in November 2015.
    Note in particular the final paragraph.
    http://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/news/townsville/crown-on-palmer-trades-on-despite-financial-difficulties-in-group/news-story/98809e63392fb715b8ad80d7dca0236d
    That one statement should have had alarm bells ringing.

    • The Magpie says:

      Wonder if there’s any advertising quid pro quo … or actual debt … involved in all this. Looking after a mate?

  27. Old Mudpicker- The Happy Socialist says:

    Great to see “The Kid” back in politics. It seems his brief sojourn left contributors to this site still believing in his abilities to be a success in politics, even maybe Premier.
    This is the guy who as a Minister wanted to sell our NQ assets for 2 Billion, give us back a 10th of that and give the rest to Brisbane.
    This is the guy who would be happy to sell the port in a major Garrison city to overseas buyers.
    This is the guy who as a Minister managed to be on the campaign that lost the largest majority ever in just one term.
    White Shoe Land is a good place for this flim flam man.
    Bring him on.

    • Rogered David says:

      Ahh Muddy you sensationalising old bastard. We all know your true identity is one worn-out old Mike Reynolds.

      • Old Mudpicker- The Happy Socialist says:

        I have much too self respect to grow a beard as dodgy as his. And he is way older than me. Guess again.

        • The Magpie says:

          But do you have a red leather thong (non-foot variety) you wear to go swimming on Maggy Island?

          • Old Mudpicker- The Happy Socialist says:

            The only thong you will see me wearing are my lovely blue double pluggers. My choice of footwear since 1970.
            Shame on you ‘Pie for putting that image in my head. I threw up in my mouth a bit.

          • The Magpie says:

            Thanks for sharing.

        • Sir Ossis O'Fliver says:

          I agree the closest he ever got to Mudpicker land was Hermit Park.
          Was never even game to venture over Sandy Crossing to go roller skating at the Estate.

  28. The Magpie says:

    Now just hold it right there, Mister! You judge in haste … The paper’s job is to bring us important information about things not that have just happened, but possibly … just possibly … might happen. You are in grave error when you denigrate Mr English in that way, he has never been frightened to ask the hard questions …

    Indeed, he makes every effort to involve and include his readers in the big questions of the day, like this today, where the majority of his readship were quick to respond …

    … and he is modest enough not to boast of being able to create new jobs on the Bulletin. His latest quiet recruit is apparently Dr Doolittle, who talks to animals and find out not only what they’re thinking, but when …

    Mr English is now hoping that Dr Doolittle will be able to get inside the head of Townsville people to find out what they want to read in their local paper. Because clearly, Mr English hasn’t a clue himself.

  29. Hee-Haw says:

    FFS the TB is talking about a state of origin game in 2020 again. Waste of ink

    • The Magpie says:

      There is the old rule that believability should always have the failsafe of plausible deniability it something doesn’t happen. The Bulletin is just hoping no one remembers this nonsense.

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        NRL is concerned that they have only sold 40k tickets of the 55k stadium capacity for Wednesday’s first 2017 origin game.

        New Townsville stadium has a maximumm capacity of 25,000 punters. With Tickets at $50 to 250 ish for entrance, it Would be hard to lose revenue from lost sales of 20,000 plus punters. At. say $150 each= 2 million lost in potential earnings plus bar and food add ons.

        • Sandgroper says:

          It ain’t gonna happen. Total wankery to think they would stage an origin game in such a small stadium.
          Perth has scored a fixture in 2019 at our new, 65,000-seat venue because the NRL is eager to promote the code in AFL territory. The ticket prices will be eye-watering and the drum is that the WA Government has ponied-up millions to secure the event.
          Does the Bulletin think the NRL is a charitable organisation that needs to preach to the already converted?
          Bullshit, pure and ripe.

          • The Magpie says:

            Thing is, Gropes, why does the paper do it? They must surely know it makes them looks even more stupid, insulting and out of touch as ever. You an smell the desperation.

          • The Magpie says:

            Thing is, Gropes, why does the paper do it? They must surely know it makes them looks even more stupid, insulting and out of touch as ever. You an smell the desperation. And they really don’t think things through, do they? Yesterday, they ran this piece of Premium Content

            In effect, they are saying let all other RL Origin fans on the east coast have that inconvenience and we’ll still do well. And what chance the locals for a ticket if there’s only 25,000 available? Distant locations are only ever chosen with the hope of spreadig awareness of the game.

            But when it comes to the Bulletin, like they say, you can’t fix stupid.

  30. The old peterbuilt says:

    Same sex marriage bullies. On the abc 6am news Samantha Stosur announces that players may boycott the Margaret court arena. Notice to tennis Australia , if you allow this to occur I will never attended ,watch or support either physically or in monetary terms any tennis event in this country or any other. I will also not support in any way any sponsors of tennis. Where the fuck do these spoon fed so called athletes think their mega prize money comes from. I know this statement will have no effect on tennis but I will not let these trumped up arseholes have freedom of speech and beliefs while denying it to others.. think I need a coffee.

  31. The Magpie says:

    One of the ageless truisms of journalism is that a good sub must have a dirty mind to catch slips. In that case, they must be as pure as the driven snow down at The Bulletin. This WILL go viral.

    Milford should sue, if an angry husband doesn’t do for him first.

    • The Magpie says:

      And if you don’t get it, there’s a job for you at the Astonisher.

    • Sandgroper says:

      Jesus wept! That is one for the ages that will surely go viral.
      I have already passed it on to journo mates and sundry dirty old men (and women) around the world.
      Today, the Townsville Bulletin is the laughing stock of the journalistic world.

      • DOM says:

        PS: For the pure-minded who don’t get it, just Google MILF and be careful there are no kids around. Might also pay to erase your browsing history.

    • Old Moll says:

      Press howler of the year. Makes you proud to be a Townsvillian.
      Sadly, I am too ancient to rate in that select company. More in the ‘Grab A Granny’ category.

  32. Sceptical says:

    As a regular SOO attendee in the oxygen musk section I’ve endured price hikes of $140 to $240 for the same seats in a 55,000 seat stadium. You would have to think that the NRL would need double that just to break even in Tsv. Add to that players threatened to strike if they don’t get a larger slice of the pie! Pipe dream!

  33. The Magpie says:

    There’s something very whiffy about the Adani announcement that they’ve reached a deal on royalties – including the fact of the announcement itself.

    Why is it only the company coming out with what is supposedly good political news for Palaszczuk? Why hasn’t the Premier joined in the announcement with details, and why are the details so hush hush?

    The ‘Pie’s guess is that the company has pulled a strategic swifty, using the announcement to put pressure on still-continuing negotiations, so if the government ends up saying no deal to these grifters, the political damage would be severe.

    Mine by all means you shifty mob of corporate shape-shifters, BUT on OUR terms, not yours. Palaszczuk is selling our souls to arsesoles for political points. Will backfire big time.

  34. The Magpie says:

    Not a single on-line mention in our ‘all for law’n’order’ Bulletin about the shooting death of the cop killer in the Lockyer valley. Mega story everywhere else.

    Adding to the disrespect and social media anger at the paper’s overall disrespect for what other media see as a major story, this is a paper that fills space with the accidental death of CAIRNS woman in BRISBANE.

  35. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Don’t discount the Qld govt coming to the party on a SOO game in Townsville, it’s a competitive space, govt payments from Melbourne and Perth have secured games there, so it’s not beyond this govt in particular to stump up for a game here. I would imagine if future Qld and NSW will be gauranteed one each , and the third going to another venue, a few million from the state govt, which is what they put into the V8 every year and it could happen, nothing like a game of footy to distract the masses from thousands of jobs going at Glencore and other places,

    • The Magpie says:

      Err, let’s have a think about that. This proposal is some light years away – and possibly so is the stadium – but what government would contemplate 1: subsidising the game into a venue with half the capacity of anywhere else, and 2. thereby alienate a much bigger part of the electorate (i,e Brisbane and anywhere in driving distance of same) in order to prop up three local candidates … which in any case, none of whom will be here when the question is floated in the Bulletin again … that is, of course, if it is still here, too.

  36. Kenny Kennett says:

    The Adani situation can open discussions to another major problem our country faces. This was highlighted in a recent TV program and I can tell you from experience that it is absolutely true. The Chinese. I will start by saying that the Chinese are hard working and generally very pleasant people. I have many friends of Chinese ancestry but I worry that our country is being sold around us. Day by day Australia is being bought out. And for the record, I wouldn’t trust Adani as far as I could throw him. But with the Chinese, Melbourne homes and small businesses are being savaged by the influx of cashed up Chinese looking for a residency and ‘address’ in Melbourne and who knows which other capital cities. I don’t exaggerate when I say that homes worth no more than $300,000 are selling for a minimum of $1.7million cash. These are on ridiculously small blocks and after purchase, are left vacant for at least 9 months of the year. In many cases the larger blocked houses (the $3million plus market) in many leafy suburbs are bulldozed taking any historical character into the soil, and McMansions are erected to house a couple of Mercedes and a Chinese family’s ego so they can impress their Asian neighbours and family visitors. The old corner Milk Bars are being sought by the Chinese too. These businesses that stock the fewest of goods are operated with their bare shelves for 12 months until the owner qualifies for residency. If you think that opening a business is great for employment, I challenge that by asking who is being employed. A Chinese business will, in most cases, employ Chinese people. Many who don’t speak English which poses the question about illegal workers. I know people who work in Real Estate in Melbourne in the sought after Eastern suburbs and they say it is not unusual that houses are paid for with a credit card by the Asian buyers. I have seen Limo’s filled with Chinese on Real Estate tours looking to purchase. I have been to several auctions where the majority of prospects (80% plus) are Chinese. Take a tour through Kew, Balwyn, Doncaster, Box Hill, Templestowe and you will witness what I am concerned about. I’m not against foreign investment but when it threatens the people of your own country and their ability to invest in their homeland then it becomes a major problem. Just thought I’d open another discussion subject. This is not a Pauline Hansen, Bob Katter rant.

    • Alex DeLarge says:

      I can vouch for Kenny, here.

      I was in Melbourne a couple of weeks ago and stayed in a motel in Queen Street. I went for an evening stroll and it was glaringly obvious that the majority of pedestrians were Chinese. Nearly every small business – from the 7-11 to the newsagent was staffed entirely by Chinese. It was quite remarkable. I commented on it to a winemaker friend in for the night from Heathcote. He said that it had been like that for years.

      I still like visiting Melbourne – even if only for the thrill of seeing grog for sale in your local Night Owl.

    • Ozzie John says:

      Matee, you be singing from the Ozmans songbook. We stopped being a country at least 40 years ago. What we are is a cabel of corporations who dictate what goes on. The only thing that they allow is for us to play sport under the Australian name, keeps us anesthetized enough for us to not care.
      we be owned by Woolies and Coke and Maccas and Newscorp and BP etc.
      Once you understand that, you dont stress.
      I dont think you are like Pauline, but if your middle name is Kelvin, you on your own Honkey.

      • The Magpie says:

        My dear Ozwald, Consistency is required in all things but especially satire. On this occasion, unlike previous emissions, you have for some reason chosen to be a ersatz West indian e,g ‘You be singing …’, ‘we be owned …’ and ‘honkey’. It appears you be owned by the cultural imperialism of American culture. That and the occasional big word correctly spelt betray an attempt to hide a more professional background. Perhaps in the legal area?

        • Ozzie John says:

          Maggers, you calling me a Lawyer. Bloody hell, that is low. I went drinking with a lawyer once. He borrowed a fifty off me at the start of the night. He spent the whole night arguing with me that it was I who borrowed from him. End of the night and plenty of Bundys later, I gave him his fifty back.
          Sorry about the slang. I have been binge watching “The Wire “. Really got to me.
          Me missus, Special K, has been educating me. Taught me how to use Spellcheck.
          And I have been studying up on all of Sandgropers contribution, learning how to write really pretty and such. That Sandmans sure got a way with words.
          You dissing me like that on my self improvement, is just about keeping the man down. Shame on you Maggers.

      • Doxie says:

        “cabel”????? And please don’t reply, I know it should be “cabal”. I even know what the letters stand for!!!

  37. Bully Boy says:

    It has been suggested that the Bulletin’s online edition is managed in Sydney.
    But after overlooking the tragic story of the Police officer who was shot in SE Qld, while reporting every move that drug runner Shapelle Corby makes, suggests it is managed in Mumbai.

    • Raaflmao says:

      What website were you looking at, it was lead item on the website all day Tuesday – the day it happened. Sorry to spoil a good conspiracy.

      • The Magpie says:

        No it wasn’t.

        • Raaflmao says:

          Great comeback. Check the Bulletin Facebook if you like. Nothing wrong with fair criticism but when you lie, it hurts your credibility.

          • The Magpie says:

            You’re depending on the credibility of Facebook? Sure you don’t work for the Bulletin? Maybe in the marketing area? The story was not featured on the limityed Bulletin online page. The ‘Pie checked it before the initial comment and regularly thereafter. You’re right. Lying hurts your credibility. Think about it.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            I think you are talking about two different things:
            1. The death of the the policeman in the first instance
            2. The death of the criminal who shot the policeman
            I stand to be corrected if I am wrong

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie was referring to the former. Out-of-step coverage in both instances, which has certainly done the Bulletin no favours around here

  38. Achilles says:

    At today’s Parliament Question Time, Barnaby Joyce quoted that the Carmichael mine would employ 40,000 workers. That’s a whole townfull !!!

    The O’Rorte has had a makeover she no longer looks like the female in Dilbert, but now closely resembles her Nemesis the F & C Rangah.

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      Yes I saw Joyce mention her and dig one into her ribs. She looked like she shot back at him but she may just have been miming for the cameras.

  39. Cantankerous but happy says:

    I see the online comments below the council investigating story which were scathing of the Mullet and Impaler have been removed from the Bulletin online, they were there this morning but removed the whole comments section sometime during the day, talk about censorship, what a disgrace.

  40. Dutch Reverend says:

    “Council pledges to crack down on internal fraud and corruption”. If that’s the case the first people under investigation by the new “investigators” should, without any doubt at all, be Mullet and the Impaler. If they are still there afterwards, then it will be obvious that They aren’t serious about cleaning things up.

    • Hee-Haw says:

      Dutch, have a look at the minutes from last council meeting, they Councillors (all of them) had to declare a conflict on the Peggy Banfield Park upgrades as one of the tenderers donated to the Hill campaign last election.
      Then the $2.6 million job was issued to the same company, which in itself may be the best decision.
      The bit that makes me nervous is that the discussion paper was declared by council that it should be confidential and remain that way. If it is the best decision then make it public so we can see, hiding it makes the smell much more intense.

  41. Bentley says:

    Kenny, I’m glad you broached the subject. But what about the strategically sensitive assets, like ports, power grids, gas pipelines, cattle and sugar properties, solar generation, mines, and sugar mills? You can’t blame the chinese for their enterprise. It’s the enemy within we should be wary of.

  42. Latte sipper says:

    Love your column Magpie but your sub-editor missed a serious mistake in the photo featuring Donald Trump and the glowing glass sphere. The baddie from Lord of the Rings was Saruman not Sauron.

  43. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Interesting piece in the CM today about a possible substantial lift in water prices in SEQ to cover the costs of water grid expansions and storage upgrades. The situation has arisen from business modelling of the water upgrades relied on a return of water usage by SEQ residents to pre drought numbers, it never did. It is something people in Townsville should read and take note of as some call for disproportionate amounts of funding be spent on water infrastructure here. Before any govt either state or federal commit a cent they will require commitment to ensure costs are recovered, that could mean a repeat of our current electricity problems where in the middle of repeated good wet seasons Townsville residents will be paying for large increases in the cost of water to ensure a return on investment in new infrastructure.

  44. The Magpie says:

    Guess who dropped in from the Planet Zog to visit us during the week.
    None other than Michael Miller, Executive Chairman of News Corpse! Clearly a denizen of a parallel universe.
    In a begging appearance in Canberra pleading with Senate cross benchers to back proposed government changes to media ownership laws, Miller produced a masterpiece of red herrings and hidden agendas. The bogeymen were the ‘global multinationals’ Google and Facebook who ‘operate outside that regulatory framework.’ Which is a more than a bit rich coming fro the global tisters at News Inbternational.
    Here’s how The Australian reported the sobbing outburst today.
    ‘Speaking at a media summit in Canberra, Mr Miller said the issue was no longer about “a choice ­between this newspaper or that newspaper”, but about commercial survival for entire sectors of domestic media, and about ensuring local news stories received ­sufficient and diverse coverage.
    “The intent of Australia’s so outdated media laws is to protect against the loss of diversity, but in today’s world their actual impact has been speeding up the loss of local content and the loss of local jobs and the loss of community spirit,” he said. “Rather than guaranteeing more voices are heard, our current rules are guaranteeing those ­voices have no future channel. For many communities those who ­oppose these media changes … are choosing a future whereby a community may have no voice at all.”
    These are the words of a man who heads the organisation that owns the Townsville Bulletin, which is increasingly filled with irrelevant fluff and guff about matters in Cairns, Mackay, Rockhampton, and even Geelong and Tasmania.
    Mr Miller clearly wants to limit the freedom of speech on Google and Facebook purely in the interests of regaining the lucrative role of gatekeeper of information. Well, Mickey, save yourself the trouble, that horse has well and truly bolted. For proof in microcosm, watch developments here in Townsville in the next 12 months, mate. We WILL regain the fair and equitable voice of which you so venally robbed.

  45. Sandgroper says:

    To all Canetoads, my deepest sympathy. I shall be wearing a black armband today in recognition of last night’s bloody massacre. Hopefully, JT and some of the other stars will be available to stop the rot.

  46. Achilles says:

    Looks like the terrorist response guys haven’t learned anything from the Lindt Cafe debacle.

    A plane has been forced to return to Melbourne after some nut job tried to storm the cockpit and claimed he had a bomb. He was speedily dealt with and trussed up.

    BUT the boys in black did NOT board the plane for 90 minutes….WTF…… they knew the culprit was immobilised, and now have a plane full of people who could easily become panicked into an hysterical reaction.

    I wonder what their reaction would have been had that occurred? or in a different scenario, there really was a terrorist or two loose on the plane.

    Back to the Mack Sennett school boys ………. as instructors. FMD.

    • Guy says:

      In britain the SAS handle the tip of the spear anti terrorist operations

      Unlike their australian cousins they quite rightly favour the MP5 a very useful close quarter sub machine gun with a very small recoil – you can still shoot with relative accuracy with one arm.

      The chocolate shop siege in britain would have most likely been handled by the SAS with snipers being given full control to shoot when the opportunity arose.

      Unlike the coppers here, when hostages started pouring out of an OPEN door they would have charged in.

      I’m fairly sure the top brass went on lunch during the siege ( presumably not at lindt).

      • Ronny Rotten says:

        The response group behaved like the Keystone Kops. The SAS would have cleaned up Monis in a jiffy, with him the only casualty.
        Unfortunately, the core elements of the SAS are based in Sydney and Perth, which means they can’t respond in a timely fashion to emergencies in other parts of the country.
        Hopefully, things will change in light of the coroner’s report.

      • Simon Templar says:

        From the glimpses I caught of the SOG officers on the news, they had the M4 Carbine – probably the M4A1 full-auto version. The M4 has more punch, longer effective range (500m as opposed to 200m, if that), more available attachments, better rail system and is something I would rather have come the zombie apocalypse. So far as cowboy firing one-handed goes, the coppers have their H&K pistols for that – but are trained to use two hands.

        • Guy says:

          An engagement between a terrorist and the SAS in a siege situation is often not more than 25m, why use a weapon more useful on a battlefield to engage a close quarter target?

          Thats the whole point of using the MP5, close quarter target.

          The coppers that wander around britain that are armed use the MP5 as well.

  47. The old peterbuilt says:

    It would appear the mullet is unhappy with aurizon for getting rid of 32 local jobs as on page 3 today’s tb . At least aurizon have been decisive with a plan to move forward. It is terrible news for the workers but they know where they stand and can try to get on with life unlike the emotional cancer created by the mullet and the impaler in their own organisations restructure.

  48. Peewee Herman says:

    Disillusioned LNP lover and now Independent candidate for the state seat of Townsville Stephen Lane has started a GoFundMe campaign to try and raise $5000 dollars to help his political aspirations. It’s really powering along now with one single donation after 24 hours raising $20. What’s the bet it’s from his “mummy” (as he calls her publicly), former councillor and still LNP lover Jenny Lane.
    Stephen Lane does have GoFundMe form, he previously tried to fund the purchase of a new pushbike but sadly, and luckily, failed.
    Visit https://www.gofundme.com/stephenlanecampaign to see if he makes it past the 1% mark.

  49. Kenny Kennett says:

    Whilst an architects impression is not much to go on, I hope the developers of the new stadium take the setting sun into consideration. At the existing stadium, the view from the Eastern stand is blinding when spectating prior to 5pm.
    Also on the ‘impression’ is a load of what looks like buildings (aka hotels) in close proximity of the stadium. It could be just ‘fluff on the edges’ but it would be interesting to see just who owns the land within walking distance of the stadium and whether they have any political influence. Not only do they have buildings but the ‘sketch’ also has roads or paths going straight passed their door over Ross River. Has a proper plan been made public yet?

  50. Watcher says:

    1. The Mullet is a strong advocate for Adani yet Local Government Super advertises itself as “ethical” and that it does not invest in coal. So is our brave and fearless leader walking the walk and transferring her super fund into a fund that does invest in coal or isn’t she prepared to put her own money where her mouth is?
    2. Mayor Mullet has been supposedly alarmed about the potential job losses at the Copper Refinery. Given the wholesale dumping of staff at TCC, is this a failure to practice what you preach and are we just seeing crocodile tears?

  51. The old peterbuilt says:

    Many of you may not realise that after midday on Friday every hour is the equivalent to two normal hours so by 2.30pm Friday it is actually 5pm hence the timer on the shed fridge unlocks allowing the old peterbuilt to partake of a few cleansing ales followed by a bottle or two of dan Murphys fine but relatively cheap Sauvignon Blanc . After which follows an alcohol induced coma until Saturday am when the order of the day is tooth paste,shower, more tooth paste, coffee and the the latest edition of the magpies nest. Have a good weekend you bunch of non compliant trouble makers.

    • The Magpie says:

      Like you, Pedro, The ‘Pie has a strict regime when it comes to drinking. Following doctors orders a month ago that The’Pie limit himself to one standard drink a day, marking it off the calendar as we go. He is feeling chipper and very perky indeed. At the moment, up to Wednesday, June 8th 2025.

      • Sandgroper says:

        You miserable buggers, have some sympathy for a fellow-boozer. I’ve just arrived in Albany for a weekend of car racing and have to charge up a big hill at sparrow’s tomorrow morning.
        Breahalysed as a matter of course before starting, so no grog tonight. My miserable non-racing mates are already rubbing it in as they head for the hotel bar.

        • Old Mudpicker- The Radical Conservative says:

          Have a jolly weekend Sandy old chap. You won’t need alcohol, you will have a natural high from taking the corners in the old Model T that you bought new as a teenager.

      • Google says:

        I think 10 June 2025 will be a Sunday.

  52. Ozzie John says:

    Hey, who is this Grumpy person on here. Is he a lawyer in real life. If you are Grumbledorf, keep throwing shade at me and me missus Special K is gonna get involved. Serious, mad as a cut snake she is. Redhead too. Playing with fire you are.
    Me, I dont care, go for your life, sledge away but matey, you are dancing on quicksand.

  53. Duke says:

    It’s nice to recognise there are some good things being done in Townsville. Last night ABC Lateline programme ran this story about Townsville State High School, JCU and a program at Townsville City Council.
    http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2016/s4679211.htm

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