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The Magpie

Sunday, January 6th, 2019   |   129 comments

Doing A Little With A Lot: Move Over Jesus, Your Loaves And Fishes Stunt Ain’t In It Against The Townsville Bulletin.

The good old Astonisher showed it’s going to be more of the same in 2019, sleight of hand, selective reporting and all manner of insulting idiocy … same old, same – including a spectacular miss this weekend – not a word about one of Townsville most long standing favourite eateries bites the dust … Michel’s On Palmer Street is no more.

Bancroft boo-boo – Channel 7 embraces fake news: so lacking in a sense of the ridiculous, they’re about to disappear up their own … ummm … kazoo.

And the President turns on the pester-power: Trump throws the biggest … and longest … tanty in living memory … ruining the holiday season for thousands of his own people.

But first …

For those many people who have been inquiring about Mark Donnelly’s funeral in Cairns, it will be at 2pm Wednesday Jan 9th, at St Francis Church, Mayer Street, Cairns.

Vale, mate

……

Moving On

It’s climate change on Bentley’s mind. Our ‘toonist is originally a Croweater from Adelaide, and he was amazed to see the jam packed crowds on Adelaide beaches in a TV report about the ghastly weather they’re having over there. The ‘Pie also recalls that during his time in the City of Churches, beach-going was an occasional thing and attracted only sparse crowds to the sandy shores. But Bentley believes climate change is rapidly altering time honoured Aussie pastimes, and soon, getting an all-over tan will be a thing of the past.

standing room small copy

Speaking of Things Of The Past

Unknown

This now sadly includes the much loved Michel’s restaurant in Palmer Street, which served its last mean on December 22nd. This is how the unexpected news was broken on FB.

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It will be sorely missed by many, including The ’Pie, who just hung out for the lunch-time beef and burgundy pie.

Ironic that the one time our local paper had the opportunity to use the word ‘iconic’ almost correctly, it has completely missed this information which would be of far more interest than the ‘iconic’ Sizzlers leaving town. (More on that shortly).

Well That Didn’t Take Long Did It?

The Townsville Bulletin set the tone for the year on the very first day of 2019, Tuesday January 1, with a rib-tickling own goal with this front page.

Screen Shot 2019-01-01 at 9.45.51 am

Wow, all those people turning up for a pic, where did they all come from? Well, at least half of them from nowhere. Here’s how this little piece of patronizing chicanery went down. First, a couple of weeks ago, this appeared on the Astonisher’s FB page.

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Boy, be on the front page!  And didn’t that get them flocking in for their 15 minutes of fame – not. Just 41 people made themselves available, including the Cowboys mascot and as many of the Bulletin’s staff who could be spared to avoid the embarrassment of attracting almost bugger interest.

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Then the front page appeared, a cheesy tedious old trope of people spelling out the year. Many people … more than 41, it would seem. But hang on, let’s have a closer look.

Screen Shot 2019-01-01 at 9.54.40 am

What’s all this? This is what all this is.

Bully 2019 photo

fair to say that all those excited people were beside themselves – behind themselves, and then in front of themselves. Now a while back, the flagship of News Corpse tabloids, Sydney’s Daily Telegraph got a clip arround its corporate ears for photo-shopping pics of politicians in unflattering historical situations. As if we needed to be told that Kevin Rudd was a nazi! Pretending to be chastised, management decreed that in future, just so no one was misled, all photoshopped images in all News publications would carry the legend ‘digitally altered’. Someone at the Astonisher overlooked this, clearly wishing the few readers it has left would believe it was so widely popular that it had attracted a throng of NY well-wishers.

but it seems someone suddenly realised that some arsesole – like The Magpie maybe – would tumble to the lie, so thinking they could squirm out of it, they really blew their foot off by belatedly posting this on their FB page.

The ‘Pie has asked before, and now asks again – are they all bloody drunk down there?

BTW, the relevant FB page is said to have attracted 4500 views … which at a guess that would be comprised of 4458 editorial and advertising staff and their family and  friends frantically revisiting the FB as often as they could. At least that was the drill when The ‘Pie was taking Rupert’s shilling.

But Wait, There’s More …

The firsts for the year kept coming thick and fast. This story had people wondering if the paper had a cut-price Tardis operating …

Screen Shot 2019-01-01 at 10.02.11 am

… and that resulted in the first ‘correction’ of the year.

Screen Shot 2019-01-01 at 10.04.29 amAlthough it is quite possible that Messagebank Walker, send out last year’s media release, and true to form, the reporter just wrote it up with a thought of what it was actually saying. f they would know the difference.

Another media release that went into the paper untouched and of course unquestioned could have been headlined Mission Impossible.’

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Hahahahaah – gasp – snurffle – don’t you just love the combination of casual impertinence and immeasurable benchmark of making Townsville ‘Australia’s first mentally healthy city’. This is pure Labor crackpottery at its best, and a great excuse to wring out a few more public dollars for pointless jobs for the boys and girls. Mentally healthy City steering committee? National leader in this field? Pray tell, just how is this going to be measured – oh, wait, I know – soon it will be announced that we have achieved the title of Australia’s mentally healthiest city, but we can’t be told why or any details because of both privacy and Commercial in Confidence reasons.

What an out and out rort. The Townsville City Council has no business stumping up a single cent for this totally obscure nonsense.

And you’ve just gotta love that this call for a mentally healthy city is coming from one of the greatest rates-gouging, anxiety-creating, booze-binge inducing ineptocracies of posturing inadequates one couldn’t create as fiction.

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And all publicised in a paper that has long abrogated its traditional responsibilities in the interests bargain-basement kiddy journalism and a quick advertising quid (and how’s that working for you, eh?)

Yet Another Jarring Juxtaposition

And it would appear that either no one checks advertising content against news content to avoid this sort of blundering idiocy.

Positioning

But never mind, iditor Jenna Cairney knows how to thunder away about the really important issues affecting us … during the week, it was … oh, dear it was people who … oh, The ‘Pie cannot bear to utter the words, read it for yourself.

Crab eiditorialScreen Shot 2019-01-03 at 7.12.43 am

Now normally, it’d be kind to let this slide, but it’s hard to ignore when the iditorial completely contradicts its own ramblings by actually quoting one of the few believable people who work for the paper, fisherman Eddie Riddle, who said ‘sometimes, believe it nor not, people just catch no crabs. Crab pot theft happens less than people would have you believe.’ Clearly those people who would have you believe that it is rife include the iditor and the beat-up reporter of the original story.

Then There Is This

From comments during the week.

The Magpie

From the ‘alleged’ files:

THE TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN ‘ALLEGEDLY’ ACCUSES THE POLICE OF PLANTING EVIDENCE.

 Screen Shot 2018-12-31 at 9.25.34 amSo they ‘allegedly’ found a shotgun, unequivocally meaning there is some doubt … in terms of English, the paper means the cops could be lying and they didn’t find a shotgun … or else, leaving open the possibility that they planted it there and didn’t ‘find’ it.

FFS they either did or did not find a shotgun, and if it comes down to who to believe – the Bulletin or the police – it’s no contest. The coppers should complain. And anyway, saying they found the weapon is not legally dangerous and so attract an ‘allegedly’ , since no names or details of the arrested man are published.

During the coming year, The ‘Pie will be running an ‘alleged’ file from the Astonisher, along with an ‘iconic’ file – the paper has already made a sterling start on that one. This from comments on Friday.

The Magpie 

January 4, 2019 at 11:24 am  (Edit)

Had a bit of an amused warble and added this to The ‘Pie’s ‘iconic’ list.

Screen Shot 2019-01-05 at 11.32.16 pm

Iconic is something that is immediately recognisable, usually unique, and with which one readily associates with a name, place or occupation. The Eiffel Tower is iconic, as is the Statue of Liberty, Big Ben, the Kabba in Mecca, the Golden gate Bridge,  and closer to home, the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Now alas with this local departure, down south, all the front bar chat and dinner party braying will be along the lines of ‘Townsville? Wasn’t that the Sizzler place until a while back?”

Oh, the shame.

Keeping an eye on ‘legendary’, too.

A Bigger Laugh From The Big Bash

Cricket’s bumbling sandpaper cheat Cameron Bancroft returned to the crease this week in the Big Bash league, and the commentators were so busy tip-toeing around that elephant in the room, they managed to miss a wonderful howler made by their producer.

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The commentators, all ex-sporting boofs, so not much could be expected of them, unquestioningly rabbited on about Bancroft’s personal attainments, especially that last one. Returned to Tame Impala as their kazoo player? They didn’;t dare question the truth of the matter, but they did have a rare old yukity-yuk about it.

The producer had unwittingly copied and pasted this bit of nonsense lifted from a story that was doing the rounds, and had originated guess where? The Betoota Advocate, Australia’s funniest satirical paper.

And for the record, Bancroft has never been in the band Tame Impaler, which has never featured a kazoo player anyway.

The ‘Pie is wondering, given Bancroft’s infamous South African venture, if Bunning’s might not offer sponsorship.

And Now Off To The Week In Trumpistan …

… and it’s wall-eyed child President.

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…………….

That’s it forn this week, and the silly season is coming to a close (not that you could tell at any time from our august organ of Flinders Street West), and some very interesting snippets have been dropping into the Nest for future examination. Wer will start on them next wee, but comments are running around the clock, so have your say. And any support by way of donation for the efforts over the coming year will as always be greatly appreciated. He how to donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

129 Comments

  1. Mike Douglas says:

    As soon as I read Townsville’s Councils revoluntionary plan to create a supportive stigma free mentally healthy community I thought “ another thought bubble” like Zip line on Castle Hill or Lagoon at the Strand. Why is Mayor Mullet wanting to spend ratepayers $ on areas under the responsibility of State and Federal Governments . Here’s some revolutionary ideas for T.C.C. how about you pay down some of $350 mil Council debt , 129.3% financial liability ratio and that’s without the expected generous payments to ex labor mates Adele the Impailer and the Screaming midget as the town is stuffed if we have a natural disaster in borrowing funds . Another revoluntionary idea is to clean up this shambles of a town as after the heavy rain parks, cemeteries , footpaths are over grown and the river blocked with weeds . These are the basics for Council and you would have to think our Councillors are driving around blind or are things so stuffed at T.C.C . they also can’t get things fixed ? .

    • The Magpie says:

      Allpoints taken and agreed, Mike … and The ‘Pie was amused to notice a new style of brown-nosing by a developer. A submission to council for a block of units on the Strand included the amenity of ‘a view over the new Strand lagoon’.

    • Concerned says:

      Agree 100%, another thing the Mullet and the useless 3 state and federal so called reps should do is go for a drive to the crematorium, and then turn around and drive back to Townsville and witness what visitors experience when driving to Townsville from the south, what a WELCOME TO TOWNSVILLE they receive, a drive on probably the worst short stretch of highway in our area around the hill and a corner that leans the wrong and and then crosses over the narrow arse bridge over the rail line.
      And the you come across the dump and the associated smells.
      And word has it that this will soon be Townsvilles only landfill as they also plan to close the Hervey Range Landfill.
      Any dumb arse can see that the Hervey Range Landfill should be Townsvilles long term landfill as it is out of sight to the majority of our population, and has room to expand.
      It would be interesting to see what the thinking is to close Hervey Range.

      • The Magpie says:

        Comment way too long, should’ve ended after the first 26 words.

        • Mike Shearer says:

          What, and omit the context?!! Another meaning to being a Bully? When I’d stopped counting the words and laughing, couldn’t help wondering what the subbies in (wherever they are now) would’ve headlined it. E.g. Fishy business as Townsville pollies get burn-out.

      • guy says:

        sweden BURNS its rubbish. in fact sweden burns so much rubbish to generate power it has to IMPORT rubbish from neighbouring countries to feed its generators. if you can at the right temperature and pressure the by products from the reaction are mostly CO2. townsville could build an incinerator out of town and feed the excess power into the network.

      • guy says:

        they want to lay down ten thousand houses in the area of the herveys range tip – hence closing it down now. the silver lining is that supposedly the landfill site there will be turned into a reserve where people can have a wander around and catch the views from the mountains to the CBD. in sydney a few former tips were turned into parks for the local residents to enjoy.

  2. Gonzo says:

    Hi Pie, Happy New Year. A great start for 2019: Bentley’s standing room only at the Adelaide beaches cartoon; the demise of an iconic restaurant (Michel’s) compared to a not-so “iconic” restaurant (Sizzler); the Astonisher’s digitally altered front page; and Trumpistan — his shutdown tantrum and his wailing wall. Look forward to a year of Magpie magnificence. Cheers.

  3. Plannit Townsville says:

    Mentally Healthy City.. what a crock of shit. TCC need to ensure staff are mentally healthy before they even consider stepping into the mental health space. A majority of TCC staff suffer anxiety, depression and blood pressure issues since the Impaler arrived with her mates. Although she’s gone, they are still here.

    And while we a talking about mental health and suicide… The Townsville Hospital… chaired by none other than Tony Mooney…turns away those at risk of suicide, and those with mental health and drug problems because they can’t accommodate them. How about we focus on improving a service, where professionals are available, rather than wasting money at council. One additional officer for mental health at Council is going to do sweet fuck all in this city.

    • The Magpie says:

      More to the point, what is that officer actually going to do?

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        What is the officer going to do Pie? Probably go mental and leave when they see what a mess the TCC is in!

      • Plannit Townsville says:

        Attend community meetings and write reports

        • Inside TCC says:

          Maybe the mental health officer could join the HR team at council and deal with all the issues of staff caused by the toxic mess created by jobs for the boys, girls and midgets! Head of HR was made very aware of these issues and did nothing under the former CEO’s reign of terror

          • Dearie Me says:

            You are correct, the GM HR has been well aware of the issues, including the mental health of staff at Council and she’s done nothing. My observation is she’s not competent and can’t manage the job. So Impaler or not, don’t expect her to improve

    • Kingswood says:

      I’m now feeling pretty depressed after seeing that picture of Gillard. Talk about a mis-cast for the role. Like putting someone with anger management issues as a parking inspector…

    • Dearie Me says:

      The quoted suicide rate in Townsville seems to be astonishingly high. 25% higher than Queensland! We should all be alarmed if this is the case..

      No idea where Ms Armstrong got her information from, however Ms Gillard included the following information in her address at the launch of the mentally healthy city:

      “Queensland’s suicide rate of 21 per 100,000, the overall suicide rate in Townsville and District is 51 per 100,000 – 2.5 times higher.”

      Significantly less than 25%, but still concerning.

      https://www.beyondblue.org.au/media/news/news/2018/11/23/townsville-australia-s-first-mentally-healthy-city-launch

      • The Magpie says:

        PLEASE DO NOT CRITICISE MS ARMSTRONG IN THIS BLOG, THE BLOODY NEWS CORPSE LEGAL GIRLIE WILL BE ON TO THE OLD BIRD YET AGAIN FOR SOME PERCEIVED BREACH OF CAUSING SNOWFLAKES TO MELT.

        Besides, if you passed Year 6 maths, you are not considered for employment at the Astonisher.

        And still they wonder ….

        • The Magpie says:

          But further proof that the Astonisher just prints without question nor consideration what they are sent. Any Australian company thatb has an employee killed in a workplace accident must surely have the appropriate compensation insurance or in any case legal responsibility to pay compensation to the family. One would expect in the high six figures. But where’s the question been asked? Not here – not even a reporter’s name to it, and why would there be, no reporting being done here – phone bill must be too high.

          Bloody disgraceful.

          And still they wonder …

      • Mathsman says:

        Strictly speaking 51 is about 250% AS HIGH as 21, which means about 150% ‘higher’. However even 150% is certainly NOT ‘significantly lower’ than 25%.

  4. Big Ears says:

    Seasoned Restaurant next to Michels is also closing on jan 25. Notice posted on their Facebook. Several others on Palmer St are struggling big time and more will close.

    The food trucks going on the new car park on Palmer st next to the Quest will be the final nail for these struggling restaurants and pubs. MessageBank Les Walker believes food trucks are the way of the future for Townsvilles dining scene.

    • The Magpie says:

      About his style, mastering knives and forks maybe a bridge too far for him. But Matt Merren’s new one across from Michel’s, Waterview, should thrive under the circumstances, well heeled businessmen and the legal fraternity, not to mention the various groups of glitterati Ladies Who Lunch And Then Lurch, will flock there if the prices remain in check. (Restaurant prices have always been astronomical in this town, the reasons for which is another story.)

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      At the rate these joints are closing the Ross Island hotel for a steak and chips with a saggy pair of wrinkled tits will be the only option left before kick off at the new stadium.

  5. Critical says:

    Friend who grew up here and now lives on the Sunshine Coast and hasn’t visited here for 3 years came home over Xmas and after driving around for a couple of days described Townsville as an overgrown decaying crime ridden rubbish dump. Her sister finished JCU in 2018 and isn’t looking for jobs here and her parents are now moving to either Sunshine Coast or Cairns where other children. They’re over the state of the city and crime rates.

    • The Magpie says:

      Dearie me, Critical, how can you be so ill-informed? Why, just this week in a property story, we learnt this.

      • Kingswood says:

        They left out the increasing population is that of criminals and the demand for housing is that of taxpayer subsidised housing commission…so it’s kind of correct.

  6. The Owl says:

    I’m confused. The Astonisher and Mayor Mullet keep telling us the new stadium is going to cause a huge demand for accommodation and restaurants in the vacinity, but the owners of Michels, Seasoned, Paradise Cafe & Bar and the Lighthouse restaurants don’t agree.
    Tomorrow’s headline: Restaurant closures a boon for pop up/stand up food vans.
    Kebab anyone?

    • Dave Nth says:

      I said a few months back that IMO all the development around the CDB at the moment seems cannibalistic i.e. It takes from somewhere else but gives an veneer there is growth going on when there really isn’t. This sort of proves it and it is a shame as I have graced Palmer st a fair bit & liked it especially Bistro 1 when it ran by the English guy forget his name (Did hear some interesting explanations of his departure). My younger days The Crown, Australian & if I wanted to slum it with Pat the Shamrock were always a good look in :-).

      That said look at who owns a lions share of the CDB & who has pushed the stadium even from the Cowboys Board. There are some who will do very well out of the stadium including a certain Cowboys Board member & we ratepayers will suffer again to prop up the upkeep when it doesn’t pay for itself… That if anything IMO is why the Stadium is a grossly inappropriate allocation of public money in present circumstances, 10 years ago I would have been more ambivalent even supportive. The present stadium at Kirwan could have been upgraded at a fraction of the price & is in a better geographical location. My 2c worth anyway…

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Not just the CBD, the once very popular and trendy Precinct at Idalia in now a ghost centre, the video shop, newsagent, Gloria Jeans, the Sushi place, Mexican restaurant, Nutrition shop, Rock Paper Scissors and 3 loaves bakery all gone within the last 2 years, and all still empty today, let’s face it, the discretionary spend in this town has plummeted in the last couple of years, and those who do have a few bucks are spending it elsewhere.

      • The Wulguru Wonder says:

        Things will be getting even more dire at The Precinct.

        I’ve been told that the delicatessen is closing shortly too, and the fruit & vege store will be relocating to the new Fairfield Central extension when it opens.

        • Droopy draws says:

          Not at all surprised to hear The Precinct failing given the expansion of Fairfield Central.
          The developer of the Precinct did tenants no favors by ridiculously high rents at first then abandoned ship when it wasn’t sustainable… so much for ‘Townsville’s James Street’.

          And happy new year to you all. I’m actually a little optimistic about three year ahead surprisingly. Surely not much more bouncing along the bottom for the city ….

  7. Alan says:

    While I am grateful for an alternative to the pointless Bulletin, I would give your efforts more credence were it not for the childlike Trump ramblings each edition.
    Nobody likes any politician 100%, and sometimes you may dislike everything about the person, like Sarah Hanson Young in Australia, for example, but that shouldn’t be a reason for a diatribe (albeit through the use of cartoons) about everything they do or stand for, good or bad.
    Border security is important so how about trying to give us a balanced view of the issue? Do you not realise that Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are as guilty of “throwing a tantrum” in this instance as Trump because they also want their desired outcome? Well, now you know. Are you aware of Obamas 17 day shutdown in 2013 because he didn’t get what he wanted? He won out eventually.
    Just like you criticise the Bulletin for not making an effort to check the integrity of what they publish, you don’t seem to hold yourself to the same high standard. Stop attacking the man and start analysing the policies, like journalists used to do in the old days when it was still a respected profession. The Trump drivel you publish is readily available to us all on Facebook, Instagram and CNN.

    • The Magpie says:

      Oh, Alan, me dear old fruit, you are completely adrift without a sail on a sea of twaddle.

      It would be with arrogant ease for The ‘Pie to wave an airey claw, and say something cuttingly brilliant to be quoted around town, like ‘I hereby remove the gun from your temple and allow you to now go forth and read The Magpie no more – or ever more.’ But since the old bird is neither arrogant (isn’t that right, peasants?) nor cuttingly brilliant, – and NEVER quoted around town – allow him to briefly touch on your total misunderstanding and miscomprehensions about The Nest.

      First of all The ‘Pie has many offers like yours to select and edit the content of the Nest, which, generous though those offers are, do not reflect the way the real world works. This is a private blog, written by one person only. It is a blend of opinion, humour, satire, fact and conjecture.

      The Nest is not ‘an alternative to the pointless Bulletin’, the Nest is a one-man band with no staff beyond those frustrated people who offer information, which leaves the Magpie with the tricky task of knowing who to believe and then publish. Locally, The Nest has no agenda other than to put out there information that a floundering Bulletin either won’t or don’t know about ( i.e. hey Jenna, haven’t seen a peep in the paper or on line about the closure of one of Townsville’s longest established and much loved restaurants, Michels) and offers an alternative point of view – with a larf or two where possible – to some of the popular regurgitated media release idiocy of the posturing inadequates who control this city’s destiny.

      But let us put aside those high-flown and flowery self-recommendations, and let’s look at your objections to the weekly coverage of Trumpistan, The Magpie’s one regular foray into global affairs. This is where you suddenly slide from reasonable comment to outright nitwittery – and in the interests of democracy, The ‘Pie will admit you’re not entirely on your own, so this may be taken as a universal reply.) You are big on the word ‘balance’ but the lieb isn given to that dishonesty mate when you describe the Trump cartoons as ‘drivel’.

      You write that because one doesn’t like a politician (you got a tingling thing for Sarah HY, old fells, eh?) quote ‘that shouldn’t be a reason for a diatribe (albeit through the use of cartoons) about everything they do or stand for, good or bad.’unquote.

      Exactly wrong, that is precisely a good reason to stick in the boot … because the reason one doesn’t like someone … or in The ‘Pie’s case anyway … is that the person is dangerous, evil and dishonest. (Goes for more than Trump and global matters, but let’s stick with him.) And if only you applied your fervent plea for balance to Trump himself, you might have an argument – but, no, you let yourself down like Humpty Dumpty when you suggest Nancy Pelosi is the one throwing a tantrum ‘ because she also wants her desired outcome’ … Alan, mate, Nancy Pelosi does not have a Presidential power to veto a bill that the majority of the elected government members … including many of his own party … sent to the White House for ratification on behalf of the majority of American people.

      If one were crude, one could also point out that Pelsoi, the third most powerful person in the United States, has not hidden her tax records, has not installed a turnstile at her staff entrance/exit, has not associated with and employed criminals, and has not advocated grabbing men by the cock,’because they just love it’.

      Other lesser points to help unscramble your maunderings. You write: ‘Just like you criticise the Bulletin for not making an effort to check the integrity of what they publish, you don’t seem to hold yourself to the same high standard.’ Of course The ‘Pie doesn’t, when you have a local corrupt power elite such as Townsville has, one does one’s best under restricted circumstances, and that sometimes involves risks and errors, which are quickly corrected.

      So, to round all this up, allow The ‘Pie to give two others the final words.

      First Ricky Gervais, who said:
      “Please stop saying “You can’t joke about anything anymore”. You can. You can joke about whatever the fuck you like. And some people won’t like it and they will tell you they don’t like it. And then it’s up to you whether you give a fuck or not. And so on. It’s a good system.”

      And just for you, mate, a single cartoon that EXACTLY sums up the current situation in America, caused by an historical lack of vision.

      • Sam1 says:

        The one thing I do admire about Trump is the fact that he Put Hillary Clinton’s nose out of joint. I just read that Michelle Obama may run for President. What hope do they have over there.

        • The Magpie says:

          If Michelle Obama gets on TV and tells you to vote for her, you’d better, or she’ll come around an’ whup yo ass, boy. Hmm, now one thinks about it, possibly a reason NIOT to vote for her.

      • Wily Wombat says:

        FMD Alan. Magpie rains shit down on everybody without bias. Some of it is humorous, some not. I suppose it depends on your politics.
        I would suggest you get a life.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Hey Alan, how ya going old mate? Glad I don’t live next door to you. PS – Pluck off!

  8. Dutch Reverend says:

    Just glanced at the Astonisher on line and noticed a pop up advert for Aldi looking for mystery shoppers. I’d be curious to know the location of the “mystery” Aldi store.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Ask TEL, or TCC Dutchy- oh hang on, it is probably commercial in confidence, secret squirrel………

  9. Achilles says:

    The hypocrisy of Hansen Young beggars belief, calling on Senator Fraser Anning to refund the $3K tax payer funds to attend a rally against the violent African immigrants.
    May be he should BUT only after she refunds we tax payers for taking her daughter whale watching in a charted plane.

  10. Bruce says:

    As a past resident (albeit for just 5 or so years) of Townsville I enjoy the Magpie. I also periodically have a look at the Bulletin online once or twice a week. They appear to have given up trying to get online readers to pay, although with such gems as news stories on a woman peeing on the floor of a Collinsville supermarket I wonder why? I was, however, amazed to read of the forthcoming closure of the “iconic” Sizzler.

    I couldn’t help relating it to the dummy spit your Mayor took at Qantas for operating Boeing 717s to Townsville in place of 737s. Any town that regards Sizzler as “iconic” is lucky to have an air service at all. Whilst blame can’t be sheeted on the mayor and Townsville Enterprise for the vocabulary of the local newspaper it would probably be a good idea for both of them to take a cold dispassionate look at their city. The intercity rivalry with Cairns never ceases to amaze me, especially the desire of the citizens of Townsville to have international flights to their airport. The people of Townsville obviously think their city is great and should be fighting tourists and international business people off, but those people have made their judgement. Just get an app on your phone like Flightaware and compare the two airports at any time of day and see which city is attractive to travellers. Presumably the 717s can cater for Qantas customers who want to visit Townsville just nicely. And now Townsville has lost Sizzler. Oh woe!

    • The Magpie says:

      An interesting [perspective Bruce, with which The ‘Pie generally agrees, except you are in error when you say ‘Whilst blame can’t be sheeted on the mayor and Townsville Enterprise for the vocabulary of the local newspaper’. Oh yes they can be, because this lazy, cut-price, bargain-basement abomination of a publication just mindlessly reprints whatever inanities Lil Patty from the Dudley Do Nothings rattles on about, or whatever overblown tripe that is the mayor’s stock in trade that is spewed into their inbox. In fact, if the paper actually had to make words into sentences, then sentences into paragraph’s to fashion complete stories, they would have to hire people with those basics skills enjoyed by the average 12 year old.

      • Bruce says:

        This morning’s “opinion” piece in the Bulletin can’t go without challenge, although what I am challenging is not clear as it is difficult to discern what the Editor is trying to say.


        Reference is made to a table that appears in yesterday’s Australian, but conclusions are drawn from it which are mind boggling. From that table the Editor draws the conclusion that “most people in Melbourne” work in restaurants and cafes! What, all those multi storey buildings full of waiters and barmen? The table actually refers to residents of the City of Melbourne, a municipal district where 135,959 people live as opposed to what most people regard as Melbourne, a city of over 4.5 million. To put the editors mind at rest, let me assure her that most of the people of Melbourne (the big place) don’t know where Townsville is, let alone the Adani coalmine. Nor do many of them care and I doubt if opposition to the coal mine is strong in either big or municipal Melbourne.
        However, the editor makes an alarming statement about people down there who possess tertiary qualifications. The opinion piece states – “But holding a piece of paper that says you turned up to an institution, read some books on a selected curriculum and wrote a few papers, doesn’t qualify individuals to be experts in what make the Australian economy go round.”
        Presumably she is trying to say that being a semi illiterate who finishes every spoken sentence with “eh” does qualify individuals to be experts in what makes the Australian economy go round (sic – I think she means “around”). Just be wary all of you (or do I mean “youse”?) up there. When you achieve statehood or, better still, secede from the Commonwealth, the Bulletin will no doubt be encouraging some antipodean Pol Pot to execute all of those with tertiary qualifications. I expect that in that situation the staff of the Bulletin will be safe.

        • The Magpie says:

          COMMENT OF THE WEEK SO FAR!!!

          But some Magpie insight … that iditorial, dog whistling to anti-intellectual rednecks, was cobbled together at the last minute for the digital Bulletin when they discovered the monumental blunder … stupendous blunder in a Townsville publication …that through their typical technical ineptness, the hard copy paper had published THE CAIRNS POST EDITORIAL, which is of bugger all interest here, as well as being pretty stupid, anyway. It even had the Cairns deputy iditor signing it under the Townsville Bulletin masthead. We’ll revisit that prize piece of unforgivable fuckwittery a little later, but how rich is that line – “But holding a piece of paper that says you turned up to an institution, read some books on a selected curriculum and wrote a few papers, doesn’t qualify individuals to be experts in what make the Australian economy go round” – coming from a paper that appoints southern editors to oversee a community’s sole paper – after it has sacked all the subs and many reporters that actually knew what was going on in a town they loved, and lived in permanently.

          Honestly, if it were not for the circle-jerk leadership of this city, the mayor and the head of Townsville Enterprise would be so incensed by this particular blunder that they would be making the strongest possible protest to Holt Street.

          And still they fuckin’ wonder …

        • Alahazbin says:

          “You can tell a Victorian, but you can’t tell them much”

    • Dave Nth says:

      We’re about to loose the 2 flights I am now regularly using QF978/QF969 to a B717 service, I will be still transiting back once a month once I relocate to NSW while my children are still here. Won’t be able to avoid after March…

      As for CNS notice you are getting more B717 services to BNE. Expect more as last week I posted I was actually talking to someone in Sydney who is in the department of Qantas who rents these aircraft through Cobham Aviation. They are scrambling to get as many of them as possible, apparently very cost efficient. Can see a lot more northern services dropping B737’s, then once all Qantaslink what happens to the lounges… Though CNS is in a much better position than us & will probably retain some B737 services…

      • The Magpie says:

        Serious not comical question. In his time, The ‘Pie has circled the globe on numerous occasions, worked in Europe for six years, traversed America amnd Canada a few times … and always, an aircraft was an aircraft, you got on, sat down, took off, either ignored your adjacent traveller and (back then) did the crossword – or engaged in interesting and sometimes memorable conversations, then you landed and got on with your life. What’s the big deal, the 717 seems a reasonable plane, and Qantas – unlike the local airport – is a proper business which tailor’s it’s hardware to the demands of the market. Is this somehow shaming Townsville? Christ, you’re not going halfway around the bloody world in it, and the time difference is negligible unless you are SO important that you can’t spare an extra few minutes aloft. And bugger Cairns, so F what? Seriously, The ‘Pie doesn’t quite get what all the hyperventilating is about.

        • Dave Nth says:

          Have found them unreliable due to age likely and I have had quite a few cancelled out from under me due to maintenance issues hence why I try to avoid now (main reason). Second tighter fit all round, overhead space not as much. Inflight entertainment pretty well non existent but can get the app now so that is a tad better than when I used to fly from Cairns to Darwin with nothing. Cabin noise in much louder as well due to the engines mounted to the rear of the fuselage not wings. I spend a fair bit of my life traveling so after a while 2 hours here & there becomes what is the most comfortable way of doing it so I suppose that’s my reason for griping. My outlet is here I suppose and not at the poor flight crew who I have seen some reprehensible behaviour towards in my time…

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Actually Dave, Cairns will have less 737 services to BNE each week than TSV does post 30 March, they lose more 737 services than Townsville, both pick up a lift in the number of flights but more 717 services, Brisbane, Canberra and Adelaide also get a lift in 717 services at the expense of 737’s as well. Except for the lack on internet on the Qlink planes I really don’t give a toss on the planes in the overall scheme of things, the 2 class 717 is not a bad product and I think if you ask most people they would prefer more flight times in smaller aircraft than fewer options in larger ones.

        • Grumpy says:

          Jeez, Dave N – talk about First World problems…

          I quite like the 717 and actually prefer it to the 737 – especially if the seat beside me is unoccupied. Seats are snug, but not too squeezy. Don’t find the noise level unacceptable – in fact, I didn’t even realise there was a difference until you mentioned it. Takes off like a fighter jet (thanks to those engines on the tail). Entertainment App is way better than watching re-runs of Kath & Kim and Getaway, particularly when you use your own wireless, noise cancelling earphones.

          My only bitch about the flight times in both aircraft is that it always is 20 or so minutes less than the length of the movie I am watching.

          Either way, they are waay better than the bloody Q-400’s on the Cairns run and the kerosene they serve as red wine.

          In the unlikely event that the Q-Club closes, then we know who to thank…don’t we.

          • Dave Nth says:

            Sorry if I have stirred the pot here a bit more than I should have… Shouldn’t post after a boozy evening but still prfer the 737’s… Oh and points taken, won’t worry me much for longer anyway. Personally LOL I wonder if I will get board of not being in airports in my new role…

          • The Magpie says:

            Just so long as The Nest doesn’t lose you, Dave, you have for so long been a valuable contributor and staunch supporter, for which The ‘Pie heartily thanks you.

  11. J jones says:

    At least we still have Ribs and Rumps

  12. NQGal says:

    The Astonisher has outdone itself this morning by printing the Iditorial page of the Cairns Post.

    • Kingswood says:

      Weird huh? I was genuinely astonished….plus the ultra weird bit underneath about the Cairns Post’s takes on corrections.

      Guess the trained monkeys and parrots slipped up big or got into the booze cupboard overnight…

      • Insider says:

        The Cairns Post (locally known as the Compost) is equally as appalling as its Townsville stablemate. The local “journalists” tend to republish anything they can steal from news.com, and have recently taken to trawling through local (supposedly closed) Cairns community facebook sites and republishing stories without permission from the contributors.

  13. Non Aligned Worker says:

    I am curious when packages 1 and 2 for the installation of the new Haughton Pipeline will be awarded.
    Package 4 installation was awarded 1/11/18 and package 3 was awarded 5/11/18. These packages cover about 18km of the proposed 36km route.
    Does the proposed stage 2 of the pipeline cause some problems with getting on with the project?
    TCC Website is still predicting completion of stage 1 by December 2019.

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      Perhaps they’re waiting for a member of the guilded few to register a shelf company so they can win the contract. Does Bazza know anything about pipes? He knew fuck all about sand and won the Strand beach contract didn’t he?

      • The Magpie says:

        Yeah, and only after he talked Mooney into ordering a re-tender after another crowd got the nod … in the new process, guess who got the lollies? Bazza is up to ears in the local intrigue, with an interesting blast from the past in a failed venture that has Bazza front and centre.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      You could email your question to Mayor Mullet, but that would reveal your identy to Council, and depending on your circumstance, that might not be wise.

      Perhaps the iconic Magpie could ask on all our behalf. It is alleged that he is well read and respected by Council.

      • The Magpie says:

        Nope, waste of time, will be Commercial in Confidence.

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        Dave, anyone at council associated with this project is too scared to say boo. It looks like our Jen is away on holidays because M’Bank is sitting for all of the photos.
        All could be well but I find it unusual the tenders scheduled to be awarded mid October are still waiting.

    • Plannit Townsville says:

      The latest project update on the website is from June 2018 – says a lot really

      https://www.townsville.qld.gov.au/building-planning-and-projects/council-projects/haughton-pipeline-duplication-project

  14. Sir Rabbittborough says:

    Anyone seen that ReefHQ “Come and see the Merman” ad ? It features 2 very chesty “merpeople” . I can’t speak for the kids but I’m confused . Is it a case of “merman mammaries” or “mermanboobs” ??

    In no way is this a reference to Mer Islanders.

  15. Cantankerous but happy says:

    The Magpie watch at the Astonisher finally woke up to advise that two of Townsville’s best restaurants will be closing in the near future, as irrelevant and behind the times as one can get. The irony of the story being released today on the same day championing that Maidment announce another 142 ghetto lots to be released at Mt Low to cater for more suburban peasants, can none of them see the continual downward slide of this place, happening before our very eyes.

  16. Dave Nth says:

    Pie & all thanks for the time here (& tolerance like last night). I will be pointing the nose south tomorrow morning by road this time and already missing the place (if possible). Will keep looking in from time to time as I will still have property here and my children were born here so have a connection always whether I like it or not.

    Cheers and will probably morph to Dave Sth now ;-)

    • The Magpie says:

      And the very of luck to you, Dave.

      Cheers

      Malcolm Magpie

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Another quality citizen of this town packs up and heads south, it’s like Groundhog Day, just keeps happening over and over again, yet nothing from our civic leaders about the decay of this town and taking steps to address the issue, it’s just a disgrace.

      All the best to you Dave, if a couple of my in laws fall off the perch soon I mightn’t be too far behind you.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Cantankerous, according to Population Australia (whoever that is – and maybe their grammar and editing issues are relevant), Townsville’s population is steadily increasing despite recent economic downturns and some strongly held opinions. The group says:

        “Based on our research, Townsville population will reach 192,732 by the end of June 2019. We use end of June each year due to Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) always follow Australian financial year when pushed (sic – I guess they mean publishing) the data. The calculation is based on the average growth rate of 1.74% over last 8 years since 2011.

        Population Growth of Townsville

        Looking back last eight years of Townsville’s population, the growth rate is very consistent and strong ranging from 1.27% to 2.37%, adding around 2,220 to 3,977 people each year to the overall population.”

        This would explain the apparent demand for new housing estates north and south but doesn’t explain why restaurants are closing in Palmer Street. Of course it also doesn’t address the quality issues suggested by your comments but perhaps that will become clearer when we see all the candidates for the coming federal election. After all, we elect politicians who are pretty much like us and therefore what we deserve. Are you living in hope or despair?

        • Grumpy says:

          Is the increase caused by adult migration or by the existing population’s birth rate?

          Fairly relevant.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Welcome Back Tosser, nothing has changed over Xmas, still king of google I see, then why don’t you gather these details. Births minus deaths, then population growth due to immigration, proportion Townsvilles actual number v what is should be as a percentage of national increase and see what you come up with, our population is actually going backwards over the last two years, more people actually leave than arrive. Your timeframe of quoting the last 8 years is irrelevant, no one is arguing pre 2016 that Townsville was still doing quite well, quoting 8 years of figures you are only trying to mask the sorry state of Townsville over the last 3 years since your mate Jenny Hill got control of the place.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, happy new year. I see I’m off to a flying start as usual but what the hell!

            Cantankerous, since you know all the demographic details and all that statistical stuff (off the top of your head, apparently), how can you possibly know that “our population is actually going backwards over the last two years”? Did you read some coffee grounds in Palmer Street or some brochures from Maidments or Stockland? If you know something for a fact – like the current population of Townsville for example – where did your information come from? My source quoted some estimates which I acknowledged. You don’t (or can’t) quote anything, possibly because you’d have to reference the Townsville Bulletin or Google. On the one hand, business is apparently booming in the house and land development industry (which might be a feather in the cap of the council, shock, horror) but on the other hand times are tough for restaurateurs in Palmer Street. Is there some connection or is this simply coincidence? I don’t know. I don’t even pretend to know.

          • No More Dredging says:

            There’s a fairly good measure of the Townsville population volatility coming up at the next election. Unlike the national Census, the Electoral Roll is constantly updated as people (adults anyway) arrive in Townsville or at their new home town and change their enrolment details. There’s always a rush to update when an election is called. Since the seat of Herbert covers a pretty substantial part of the city we will know soon enough where the elector count has gone since the 2016 election when there were 104,815 registered voters in Herbert (I got that number from the AEC). Back yourself on this one, Cantankerous. Will the voter count in Herbert in 2019 go up or down and by what percentage?

          • The Magpie says:

            Reasonable point but only if there are accurate stats on how many little snots under voting age are infesting our dark streets.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            NMD, lot registrations are at an all time low, 432 in the last 12 months, dwelling approvals are also at a record low 531 in the last 12 months, including the just released December number of 13, that’s right there was only 13 dwellings approved for the Townsville in December, just hard to fathom how fucked this town really is.

            My data all comes from the ABS, QSO, LGA as well as data released from bonafide industry groups etc who compile data from members, plus the most valuable of all is from the variety of contacts I have built up over 30 years across Northern Australia. I will confess it’s part of what I do for a living so is something that comes easy to me and have done it for many years, when a business is thinking of perhaps expanding into the North they are chasing accurate information and guidance, and at the moment the analysis is clear, Townsville is fucked, and it ain’t getting any better in the near future.

            In regards to the AEC info, mostly useless, electorate boundaries change every 6 years on average to ensure the voter numbers stay within the plus or minus 10% of the mean allowed under AEC rules, so voter numbers in a seat can actually rise and fall, there is also a lag effect as changing their address to the AEC is one of the last things people do.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Agree with all of that, especially the evidence of building approvals. However, on the matter of the actual population, if there are no boundary changes in the seat of Herbert (none have been announced so I think they are still the same as last time), it will be a reasonable indicator of population change, with or without a “lag effect” which is probably always there. And sure, the number of electors doesn’t tell you the actual population but it sure is an indicator.

          • The Magpie says:

            And sure, the Bulletin’s Survey of the North doesn’t really tell you what people are thinking, but it’s an indicator.

        • Concerned says:

          All you have to do is drive around town and look at empty shop and the amount for sale / Lease signs.
          Also look at reale estate figures and value collapse of homes.

          • The Magpie says:

            And add to that the scruffy, unkempt look around the major roads.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Concerned, no argument with you about the signs of the times. But do hard times drive people out of the town?

          • Grumpy says:

            NMD

            Read the “Grapes of Wrath”

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Since you love a good online search NMD, just google “ failed cities of the USA” , it should be compulsory research for every resident of Townsville before the next council elections, the similarities are staggering.

  17. Dildo Man says:

    Please, oh, purrrleeese, Mr Magpie, tell me your going to cover the story p7 todays bulletin.
    “CRIME-FIGHTER
    SEX WORKERS”
    By Madura Mccormack

    I particularly enjoyed the quote: “We worked hard for years to get our prices to what they are, and these little skanks are coming in and undercutting the prices so greatly it’s not funny ”

    And

    “There’s false advertising, they send out a photo of a really hot looking chick and when they get there it’s some frumpy number. The girls have had a gutful of it”
    This has been brewing for ages.
    It’s got everything – sex ,whores, cops, skanks, immigrants,
    organised crime, blowjobs, barebackers, backpackers … and Melbourne.

    You go! Townsville girls

    • The Magpie says:

      Indeed, Dildo Man, but don’t the local gals have a point. What sort of deceptive, conniving, immoral low life would, as the quote says: “There’s false advertising, they send out a photo of a really hot looking chick and when they get there it’s some frumpy number.’

      Never happen in the Townsville Bulletin, would it? Uh, what’s that … oh, oops!

    • Kingswood says:

      I’d forgetten about the word ‘skank’ from my youth. It’s now my word of the week…

  18. The Magpie says:

    Is this not the best use of social media as a weapon to combat fake news. The fake news in this case was Donald Trump’s grizzle to the nation about his Mexican stand-off, but his former lover Stormy Daniels offered a tantalising alternative to be seen at the very same time Trump took to the airwaves. Witty gal!

  19. Mike Douglas says:

    Plenty of debate about Townsville’s Population numbers over the past couple of years but rental vacancies have dropped to 4% and landlords in some suburbs like Annandale, Mundingburra are achieving 5% rental increases on renewals or new lettings .

  20. tenacious D says:

    Hi Pie

    In case you missed it, love little Patty referring to the host as Glesso! (AND EDITOR’S NOTE: The ‘Pie suggests you keep an eye on the lower screen titles … apparently Gleeson thinks David Crisafulli is the CEO of Townsville Enterprise

    … and when they do get around to getting righting that boo-boo, THEY MISSPELL HER NAME.

    No wonder Typo Gleeson feels so at home with Sky.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TETsfN7zlR0&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR1U9l8ivMZpCHXyWe28L4ifxPIA1MGDfPhbdJaUMnQaeknCkN1-iNcXmIE

    • Grumpy says:

      She is an absolute airhead with her carefully rehearsed and meaningless blather.

      Did you see Gleeson’s spray on Labor and the “evil left” the other night – in particular against that bunch of ratbags Getup?

      Two faced prick – didn’t we have a photograph of him taking a smoke break from attending a local ALP meeting – as a card-carrying member? The one with unbuttoned shirt and his pants halfway down his arse.

      • The Magpie says:

        Think this is the pic you speak of.

        Wasn’t aware that it was an ALP meeting, may well have been, The ‘Pie recalls it was taken in Townsville during his disastrous tenure at the Astonisher, and it that was at the time he was in the pocket of Labor fund-raiser, the fee-gouging solicitor Barry Taylor, who had employed Typo’s wife Venesa even before they arrived in town for his stint at the Bulletin. So quite possible he was at a Labor hootenanny.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Gee looking rather odd in that photo, wouldn’t want that one circulating too much now he is on TV, I would reckon every chance it’s an ALP clan meeting, minus the ALP logo.

  21. The Stockman says:

    What’s happening with the TCC CEO recruitment? Anyone seen any ads?

  22. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Peter Newey at the Townsville ratepayers Association is starting to attract some attention with his dogged pursuit of the Mullet and others at TCC over this land deal north of the city. I have seen many articles he has posted on LinkedIn that pop up in alerts and now some other people are relaying his posts to a much wider audience and the criticism is scathing with the word corruption used many times through the post, there are calls for the CCC to investigate as it had done in Ipswich. This looks like it has the potential to creep up as a major issue through 2019, the Mullet will feel well protected by mates in the Qld Labor Govt but with a state election due later that same year, if it becomes too much of a distraction they will leave her hanging out to dry.

    • J jones says:

      It’s very dangerous to use the term “corruption” in posts.

      • The Stockman says:

        Not wrong, flying too close to the sun here.

        • The Magpie says:

          Mr Newey, with whom The ‘Pie has met a few times, appears to be legally oblivious of the danger (financial) in which he is putting himself. He is also deep into conspiracy theories – the flat earth conspiracy run by lizards cannot be far off – and it would seem he is being duped by a number of wily fawners. He also gives every indication of hoping that Clive Palmer will tap him on the shoulder for a run at public office, a clear indication Pete has a problem with Relevance Deprivation Syndrome. Perhaps his bump in readership is like that of The Magpie’s … almost entirely made up of lawyers on the look-out for a quid. Perhaps his heart is in the right place, but don’t know about the head.

          • Mike Douglas says:

            Credibility seems a big issue for Townsville Residents and Ratepayers association and there followers have dwindled due to anti Chinese posts “ reds under the bed” and other stats factually incorrect and continued negativity .Conspiracy theories re T.C.C about so called hidden programs when a simple google search would find it on the Council website and when it was announced . Havnt been able to find them in the list of Queensland Associations and if they were registered they would have to have an AGM and re election and nomination of positions . As you stat Pie, the administrator puts not only himself at risk but some of his hapless followers and based on the low amount of responses certainly not a true representative of the majority of Townsville residents and ratepayers .

  23. whykickamoocow says:

    The water art museum thing his supposed to be installed by March on the Strand and bring a million tourists and jobs to Townsville. Should we start a betting board on it actually happening?

    https://www.townsvilleenterprise.com.au/museum-of-underwater-art-another-step-closer-to-first-installation/

    • The Magpie says:

      In fairness, this is exactly the type of stuff TEL should be disseminating ALL THE TIME about all the other projects it says it has in train. Here we have the fact that the artist is in town, talking to a gazillion groups about the project and the locations of the first two of four stages have been named. But still, TEL can’t help themselves with some utterly unprovable tripe about the project – which will not be unique and will be rivalled by similar installations in Airlie Beach and Cairns among others – attracting 50,000 tourists injecting $42million into the local economy.

      But surely at this stage, there should be timelines in place? A start date, at least? Well, no, actually.

      And the reason is in THE VERY LAST LINE of the TEL media release, which says:

      “The MOUA Board is currently seeking an additional $5 million towards the project.”

      The inference is that nothing happens until that dough is found. In the current tough financial environment, it would seem this project is, for the moment, sunk.

      • Mike Shearer says:

        A comparison of the claimed visitor numbers and the claimed economic boosts between the V8s and the water art museum would be interesting and instructive. First comes the hype, then the initial claims of success, then the reality sets in but is not disclosed because of c-in-c, then the taxpayers and ratepayers have to pick up the never-disclosed costs as the event becomes a not-to-be-questioned fixture.
        For instance, TEL claims a 400,000 visitor increase at Cancun, Wikipedia says it’s only 200,000. What visitor increase is projected for Townsville?

        The underwater museums are in effect artificial reefs to provide a base for coral to grow on and marine wildlife to colonize. After only a short time under the water, the structures/statues will become covered and their shapes will barely be visible. The “museums” will provide what the Yongala wreck provides now. How will the museums encourage coral to grow where it once did until dredging, land runoff and warming waters destroyed the original reefs?

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          All great and valid points Mike – think you are right, it will just wither away and that will be the end of that ‘attraction’……….

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, hang on, both of you … that’s all unnecessarily pessimistic and negative … seriously. A patina of age can only add to the attractiveness of such an installation, and it would take a veeeerrryy long time for the statues to become unrecognisable and unattractive … and even then, after some years, a certain amount of renovation could be undertaken … as for growing coral (a purpose for which The’Pie has not seen any statements), even if located in the most advantageous spot, that would take generations. While we all can have our say on this blog (up to a point), we tend to drift into the negative on EVERYTHING … Christ knows, there’s enough intelligence-insulting flapdoodle around to legitimately challenge without sinking the slipper into the occasional possible upside which deserves support. On this issue, The ‘Pie’s raised eyebrow is for the mathematics of the Dudley Do Nothings, (which Mike has legitimately challenged), and the fact that the mendicant’s begging bowl is yet again out there publicly, instead of some patience in discreet negotiations until funding is attained.

            This all smacks of rushed campaign media releases, and is piss-poor media strategy, because it leaves TEL, the council and the paper open to further erosion of what little credibility these organisations have left if the project falls over. Can hardly wait for the noisy shit-fight over who should take credit if the underwater gallery does get up … or down as the case may be.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Just because it seems something you won’t personally visit Mike, , don’t right it off and in regards to value. I see first hand the positive effects the Townsville 400 that I attend has for this city, I havent been to the Festival of Chamber Music, but will never criticise something that brings people to town, I won’t criticise the underwater art stuff, because I know there are plenty who will come to town to visit it, even though it won’t be me. People who I know into the diving stuff are very excited about it. I like you enquired why would someone bother when one of the great wreck dives of the world, the Yongala is nearby, they told me the Yongala is in much deeper water, is a much shorter dive, the museum will be in much shallower water, people will be able to spend longer periods of time underwater at the site, take photos etc, all sounds plausible to me.

  24. Miss Lou says:

    A Happy New Year to you all.
    Always good,
    Always entertaining.

    Miss Lou.

  25. very casual worker says:

    I hadn’t bought the Townsville Bullshit is us for quite some time but when i heard about the death of someone i knew over in Bushland Beach I decided to head on down to the servo to pick up the latest edition of our dismal local rag to see if they may have some information on what had happened to him. Now this was on a week day but fuck me, I was confused when i saw the price. Thought it must have been Saturday instead. Not only did i get bugger all information on what I was looking for, I was assaulted by a bombardment of advertising as well. Definitely won’t be wasting my hard earned on their rubbish speed read rag again unless they drastically improve what they do down thereon Flinders St.
    Townsville Bulletin. We’re for you. Remove that apostrophe and their slogan is more truthful

  26. Dutch Reverend says:

    Look out Mullet !! Paul Jacob is making his run for the top job in 2020 with his statement that the water restrictions should be relaxed, therefore securing some favour with the electorate.

    • The Magpie says:

      He started that run mid-last year when he rebelled against the Adani airstrip rort. Might have a few problems if he does decide to take her on, hear he’s far from popular up in his own division. He will also – as a Labor aligned figure – get tremendous pressure from the party because he’s likely to split the Labor vote, allowing a sane alternative candidate – say Gary Eddiehausen – to stroll into the mayoral robes.

  27. Mike Shearer says:

    Magpie’s comment: ” as for growing coral (a purpose for which The’Pie has not seen any statements)…”

    From Wikipedia on Cancun: “The underwater museum is to benefit the protection of the coral reefs. Artificial reefs are usually created by sunken ships and other objects …. The statues are a new technique and material for coral to grow on…. As the statues were made with pH-neutral cement, coral, seaweed, and algae are able to grow and develop better than on an old ship. Stable structures with a stable base are known to be ideal surfaces for artificial reefs. … After only a short time under the water, the statues began to be transformed by nature. In time, all the statues will be covered and their figures will barely be visible”

    • The Magpie says:

      Hadn’t seen that, but that then means instead of diving to look at statues, you would be diving to look at coral. Sort of a full circle thing, really.

  28. Achilles says:

    The online TB has an amusing typo in an article regarding a “patrial” sic road closure due to a burst water main

    Definition of patrial. (Entry 1 of 2) 1 : of or relating to one’s fatherland. 2 of a word : derived from the name of a country or place and used to denote a native or inhabitant of it.
    Patrial | Definition of Patrial by Merriam-Webster
    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/patrial

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      Also another typo in an online article headlined “Stolen cars found graffitied and wreaking of urine.”

      I suppose it confirms they taking the piss out of us with their continual spelling and grammar mistakes….

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