Bazza Taylor’s Legal Outfit Takes On A Couple Of Colorful New Clients.

Big Bazza’s Emanate Legal (well not his but he;s still a director) has taken on a couple of new clients, which some legal chums suggest is a marriage made in hell. You can bet Bazza, who no business dill, will look at one of new client’s track record and want money up front. Or will it all end in tears? The Magpie speculates.

The ‘Pie holds no brief for Cathy O’Toole, but really, she must be trying to work out how the hell she can get the Astonisher on-side, after consecutive front pages directly contradicting each other about her during the week.

Some very angry people left looking foolish when Mayor Jenny Hill dodges a meeting she had agreed to explain/justify her use of ratepayer money to take a Bulletin reporter/PR flak on her Indian junket. The ‘Pie speculates there is another possible reason why she’s hiding out.

And you can’t keep the British down; they’re planning a very special greeting for donald Trump.

But first …

There was a distinctive aroma of vindaloo to the usual odour of bullshit being peddled around Townsville during the week. Yes, we’ve had a few days of extra hot bullshit.

It has all centered on the impudent strategic stroke of Indian mining outfit Adani to open an office in Townsville. But despite the flourish and the Astonisher’s brown-nosing, it was no more than an empty gesture, an Indian version of ‘she’ll be right on the day, mate’, to distract the yokels from the hard facts. Not that you’d know it from the masturbatory climaxing of the Bulletin and all the usual suspects. It takes a bit of Bentley brilliance to say it all in one picture.

It was a move that stripped bare any pretense of wanting just some pork barreling from the Feds … these questionable carpetbaggers want the whole bloody piggery.

Because the truth, according to various national observers, is that Adani is no closer to starting work on the Carmichael mine than they were five years ago. They simply haven’t been able to convince anybody to lend them the money for the project. Which puts a totally separate issue in a different light:, some savvy commentator are suggesting that if the Feds pony up a billion taxpayer dollars for Mr Dodgey’s railway line, it will be a bigger scandal than the Kemlani Affair that brought down the Whitlam Government. And the scandal will be even bigger when Adani will start sacking the few workers it will take on, as their implement their announced plans for total automation from mine to ship.

Oh, didn’t you see that in the Townsville Bulletin? Funny that, but should you want a balanced view of things, have a look here just for starters … a detailed and lengthy read, but if you’ve been getting your information only from the Astonisher, it is a timely eye-opener. Plenty of other real journalism can be Google, too, if you’re not totally fed up with the whole circus yet.

You’d Think Lewis Carroll Had Been Appointed Bulletin Editor

The Alice Through The Looking Glass dictum that ‘words mean whatever I want them to mean, nothing more nothing less’ is now confirmed as policy of our blighted community paper.

Last Thursday, Federal Member for Herbert Cathy O’Toole was caned for not embracing the Bulletin’s view of the Adani saga and therefore not sticking up for Townsville…

But the very next day, she copped it on the front page and in the iditorial for doing exactly that.

And just to make sure you got the point, that edition included a doozy of an editorial, suggesting The Tool had been a naighty and rude girl. Jeezuz, Bogan, give The Magpie a break, will ya?

It is getting increasingly difficult to make fun of the Bulletin’s iditorials, when they’re doing such a great job of it themselves. Take Friday’s effort for example …

You will take a long day’s match to find a more addled squeaking harangue than that which follows one of the paper’s classic contradictions in terms. (English and well as maths are not the paper’s strong points. Better add credibility in there, too.)

The plea for decorum – dictionary definition: behavior in keeping with good taste and propriety – is in bold print beneath a picture of two federal senators gleefully encouraging readers to display a specially minted Bulletin bumper sticker, with the decorum-laden slogan ‘Don’t take my coal job and I won’t take your soy latte.’ This bit of slack-jawed yukyukery is being endorsed in the picture by Canavan and Macdonald, the latter who has all decorum one can expect from someone slowly subsiding into alcohol-induced dementia – who else in his position would wear a Hi-Viz work vest for an office photo shoot – and occasionally for appearances in the Senate.

But the totally muddled reasoning in the iditorial is mesmerizing, flying directly in the face of the evidence of the Bulletin’s bias with this bit of prize hypocrisy:

We need to rigorously interrogate all aspects of the project, ensuring it is environmentally sound, that it creates a safe and desirable workplace for workers and that it delivers a fair return for both the company and Queensland as a whole.

Bit late to the party, Bogan, but a welcome change of heart after all this time. Sad but understandable that one believes you. But do go on ….

To that end, it is critical that any financial arrangements between Adani and the Australian Government, including, for instance, a loan from the Northern Australia Infrastructure Facility, be beyond reproach. Any loan extended to Adani by the NAIF must be divorced from political influence.

That last bit of patronizing information is an introduction to further confused reasoning for sinking the slipper into The Tool.

Townsville’s federal MP for the seat of Herbert, Cathy O’Toole, has raised concerns about whether Rockhampton-based senator and Federal Cabinet member Matt Canavan has had any influence on that process. Her inference is that he could have offered assurance to Adani that if they deliver fly-in fly-out jobs to Rocky, they will stand a better chance of receiving NAIF funding.

That is a serious accusation, given NAIF is a statutory organisation that is constituted to make its decisions independent of any political input.

Let’s put aside the pendantic point that it was not an accusation, it was a question. And you can bet that if there was the slightest whiff that Macca Macdonald had a quite word with NAIF bum polishers – maybe he has – he would be hailed a hero, and we would be fed a different sort of cant.

More than passing strange that the paper is attacking O’Toole who is belatedly standing up for Townsville (insincerely but hey, that’s politics), perhaps because they’ve now chummed up with the sanctimonious Matt (‘we’re only doing this for the poor of India’) Canavan.

The iditorial then neatly hang a Damocles sword above its own head with this final ponderous admonition: Yes, we need to have a transparent debate about any funding for this project, but it must be conducted with respect and decorum,

The Bulletin, lecturing us on fairness and unbiased behaviour? Respect and decorum? Promising – nay, insisting – on same? Whoda thort?

Oh, well, at least they didn’t run it next to the Paid Premium Content that advises you where you can buy the best meat pie in Townsville.

What A Choice For A Front Page Celebration

What were they thinking when the Astonisher decided to have this front page celebration with a bottle of Yello bubbly?

The Bulletin’s choice is cheap and nasty, lacks taste, its bubbly characteristics are short-lasting, it tends to go flat very quickly, and it repeatedly fails to deliver on the promise of its first taste.

The wine isn’t much good either.

Seems Jenny Needs A Stiff Drink For Other Reasons

Mayor Mullet’s no-show at a meeting at Molly Malone’s last Monday night where she had was expected to discuss the use of ratepayers money to take a Bulletin reporter on her indian junket really pissed off those who had gathered there. Even The Angry Ant and Jenny syncophant, the foul mouthed Councillor Paul Jacob, managed to be both sheepish and angry at the same time.

Late plane or some such was the much delayed explanation, but as far as The ‘Pie knows, no apology.

But now it turns out the meeting was actually a Labor Party branch meeting, although which branch we know not. But what the old bird has been hearing from several Labor types is that up to three branches are trying get up a motion to run a Labor candidate in the next mayoral election. Of course, that can’t be Jenny Hill, because although still a party member, she has made the commitment to the community that she will remain independent as long as she is mayor. Yeah, right, Jen.

There have already been some Labor Party-style confrontations – one said to include the aforementioned Jacob – over the issue, but it does seem unlikely to get up, unless she keeps pissing off – an d on – the faithful.

Big Bazza And His Bad Boy Client

Known to some in the legal trade as Boombox Barry for his megaphone approach to all matters that matter, Barry Taylor nowadays spends his time between his $10million mansion at Noosa and his Townsville motel-like home on Castle Hill. So he obviously has to keep the silver shekels coming in, thus he has just landed a couple of new clients.

One is none other than mega financial grub Craig Gore, the ill tempered financial scammer nabbed by ATSIC and banned from directorships for some years. Gore, recently sacked as a consultant to the new owners of Cardwell’s Hinchinbrook Resort, was nabbed by the wallopers while trying to flee the country in April, and now faces 12 charges of fraud.

He has been living with a friend in Cardwell while awaiting his day in court. When that comes, his instructing solicitors will be Emanate Legal, Big Bazza Taylor’s old firm, which he recently sold but remains involved as a director under a condition of the sale.

There is some slight history on record. Mr Taylor was briefly involved with Gore about a decade ago when the white shoe brigadier was trying to scam Townsville over a proposed canal estate development in front of the casino. To be clear,  no aspersions can be cast on Taylor’s professional behaviour at that time.

This time, Bazza may not himself grace the bar table at a barrister’s elbow, but The ‘Pie wonders if one of his star staff, one Venesa Gleeson, will get the gig.

Venesa waltzed into her job the day she arrived in Townsville with her hubby, the newly appointed editor of the Bulletin, Peter Typo Gleeson. Soon after arriving,  Gleeson received  a grammatically appalling and legally blustering letter from Barry threatening to sue the paper and The Magpie for simply mentioning his name in a column. Turned out to be a put-up con job, since Typo had actually met Taylor on the Gold Coast on at least three occasions with the missus before arriving in Townsville. But never mind, it eventuated that that sort of thing was par for the course for Gleeson. But it meant no more mentions of Bazza in the Magpie column, (or anywhere else in the paper for that matter, despite being a major behind-the-scenes operator) it would’ve spoiled Typo’s afternoons of punting with Cuddlepie Wallace et al at Barry’s Castle Hill eyrie

Mrs Gleeson is by all accounts a competent lawyer, and a nice enough person on the one occasion The Magpie met her. Of course, the old bird will reserve his opinion of her choice of partners but it would be interesting if she ends up in a court representing a man her husband obviously knew of from his days at the Gold Coast Bulletin. It had been suggested back then that it was indeed Typo who recommended Bazza to Gore.

Emanate’s other client is the American company of colourful background The Passage Holdings – or perhaps now known as Port Hinchinbrook Services – who are the new owners (almost) of Hinchinbrook resort. And they have their own legal problems, which on the face of it, do not involve Gore, although this bad tempered wanker took it upon self to trash the resort restaurant a few months ago by throwing the late Keith Williams’ fishing trophies into the resort harbour.

Which was dead stupid of him, because the publicity of that little bully boy tantrum is what tipped the wallopers off before he could scarper off to his wife’s home in Sweden.

But The Passage Holdings – Hinchinbrook Services have been trying their own bit of bullying, and have lost two matters in Cairns Supreme Court in the past couple of weeks. Court documents indicate they have been closing roads, taking over easements they are not entitled to, and trying to hit up residents with extra charges. When they told residents to like it or lump it, they promptly lumped it into court where the beak ruled against them. The company also lost its claim that they had bought the right to take such actions from the previous owners, but that fell on a technicality, so it is back to square one. Costs of $123,113.50 were awarded against Passage in this action.

The thing to keep an eye on is the totally separate matter of Gore. A few years back, he brought a defamation case against his former helicopter pilot and his wife on the laughable grounds of besmirching his good name, after the pilot was not paid a considerable sum owed. Gore not only lost but never paid his lawyers, and went bankrupt (a second time) instead.

If The ‘Pie knows canny Barry Taylor, it’ll be money up front from Gore, or forget it. Not wise to mess with our Bazza.

Funny ol’ world, ain’t it?

The Other ‘Yeah Right’ Story Of The Week Was About A Different sort Of Mayoral Bagman.

This man …

… is Paul Pisasale who was the mayor of Ipswich when he was apprehended at Melbourne Airport in May with a carry-bag containing $50,000. There is a CCC investigation. Although it isn’t illegal to carry such sums of money within Australia, pesky people like the ATO and corruption watchdogs are such suspicious bastards. Mr Pisasale resigned as Ipswich Mayor during the week, citing health reasons.

This man …

… is Brisbane barrister Sam di Carlo, who mightily muddied the waters of this strange pond when he said he had asked Mr Pisasale to bring the money from a friend in Melbourne to settle a gambling debt in Brisbane. Cue a whole lot of other questions, and bugger all real answers.

So imagine The Magpie’s surprise when a letter wafted into the Nest, addressing the matter.

From: Dover McCavity Partners, Townsville 4810

June 8 2017

To: Mr Sam di Carlo

Barrister

Brisbane Chambers

Dear Mr di Carlo,

We are a small business partnership based in Townsville with certain specialist skills, and I am writing to offer same to you.

Should you again require, as apparently Brisbane barristers do, the transport of large sums of client cash from one place to another through airports, we can guarantee delivery, on time any time.

You will have unfortunately already become aware of the pitfalls of using unskilled operatives for this highly specialised service.

We at Dover McCavity Partners have built up a solid clientele over the years, and there have been no reportable incidents of our operations. We can advise you on the best methods of cash transportation regarding airlines (no boogie boards), and we handle only money already laundered to avoid the attention of sniffer dogs. We do not recommend certain methods (e,g transporting in bodily cavities, as this would necessitate the a second laundering of the money once received). However should you insist on this method, we have a private arrangement with Clive Palmer, Gina Rinehart and/or George Christiansen for amounts over $100,000,000.

NB We have just been advised that we can no longer count on the services of Mr Palmer, as he has suddenly become a tight arse.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Ben Dover and Phil McCavity.

Is This Woman Completely Mad, Or Just Mildly Stupid?

The ‘Pie generally tries to avoid such blunt abuse, but in this case, he is just returning the compliment.

Mayor Mullet appeared to be of the stunned variety when her Public Relations people (aka the Townsville Bulletin) ran this hilarious bit of self-incriminatory idiocy in Saturday’s paper. She is quoted as saying ‘I have spoken to the CEO and chair of NAIF, and was advised that the process did not require any further government intervention

Newsflash for the mayor … 1. You are a politician, councils are the third tier of government and 2, you have the self-inflated pomposity to tell other politicians NOT TO DO WHAT YOU OPENLY ADMIT YOU HAVE DONE.

And then, for Christ’s sake, you write about it, like we won’t notice!

Really, Jenny, you should get Dolan to look over the stuff you feed the Astonisher. This makes you look like an up-yourself prize dill …. hmmm, if the cap and all that …

Worth Pondering

Speaking of mayors, here’s a thought provoking bit of info from a commenter, suggesting some dots to join in the trajectory of His Radiance, current enjoying his political rewards as Townsville Hospital chairman.

Hee-Haw 

June 9, 2017 at 11:33 am  (Edit)

This little morsel is interesting but when you add this to the fact that Team Jenny Hill received a loan from Maynelion of $10,000 towards her campaign, (wonder if this has been repaid and from what funds?) which as you see below Maynelion lobbies for Dinorden who advise Adani. The closer you get the more it smells.

Tony Mooney – from Mayor of Townsville (1989-2008); to board member of Ergon Energy Corporation; director of Maynelion from 2008 (Maynelion lobbies for Dinorden, and Dinorden advises Adani Mining); to board member of Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority from 2011; and a Guildford Coal mining executive.

Lets see if anyone in other media ask any questions of this.

And shortly afterwards …

Hee-Haw 

 June 9, 2017 at 12:58 pm  (Edit)

Maynelion also lobby for AEC Group – or is that AECOM – who coincidentally wrote the stadium study for TEL and are currently working on the Hells Gate study again for TEL and ohh what a surprise they are also awarded the survey and design for the Adani rail link project.

When Humour Is The Best Weapon

Sometimes, there’s not much left to do but laugh. Some in the USA have been inventive about it.

Britons To Give Trump The Arse

When it comes to resilience, you’ve have to hand it to the Poms. From the nation that brought you the popular wartime ditty ‘Hitler Only Has One Ball’ , the British have repeatedly shown they can make their public protest using humour.

So when the execrable Donald Trump descends on Britain for a state visit shortly, a growing movement is planning a mass on-the-spot opinion poll. The ‘Pie would gladly join in if he was there. Check #ShowYourRumpToTrump.

The Tallest Tale Of All

Much of this week’s blog has – as always – been taken up with bullshit fed to us from varying sources. But when its all said and done, Mayor Mullet, The Astonisher, even Rupert Murdoch and his pal Donald Trump don’t get anywhere near the biggest bullshit story of all time. As the late great George Carlin explains.

Don’t forget to join in the comments during the week. And The Magpie notes that some appreciastive readers have set up a small donation to help defray the costs of this blog, recurring monthly. Easy to do, check out the instructions below. Thanks if you can help, OK if you can’t.