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The Magpie

Sunday, September 23rd, 2018   |   87 comments

Apologies, probably should have done this in the beginning.

The ‘Pie is greatly flattered by the inquiries about the health of both the blog and the old bird himself, but the reason for no blog this week is a bereavement for our staunch warrior comrade MacBook Pro, who has carried the blog and your messages and posts for the past 8 years. Mac felt no pain, it was sudden and unforeseen, just blew its battery and was dead even before The Magpie could yell ‘WTF’. That was last Wednesday, and replacement gear could not be arranged in time for the couple of days it takes to put together this regular load of old and new cobblers. Am able to advise you of this via an ageing iPad, and realise that although subscribers were advised last night, a lot of readers get their weekly needle between the toes from other sources, and were concerned about the lack of the usual jollies and the old bird’s health, in that order. (Hey, priorities, people, priorities, do ya mind.)

Sooooo …. after a lot of scrabbling, replacement equipment is on the way and will hopefully be up and running for next weekend (comments are still being received and will be published).

As to the old bird’s health, he is in robust condition and at this time his battery shows no signs of joining his late lamented Mac – touching wood. He goes on regular bush walks three or four times a week with some chums; they call it golf, but suffice to say, The Pie not only knows all the Rowe’s Bay wallabies, but the names of their wives and the aspirations of their children. He doesn’t drink any more but not any less either (boom tish) and was surprised at some of the lurid imaginings of a frenzied, gasping but futile crawl for the phone across the living room floor. Among other imagined demises, there were one of two of which The ‘Pie wouldn’t mind when the time comes, if he is ummm… able. Both involved the word ‘nest.

But sincerely, this has all been very heartening to know there are inquiring minds out there, although he suspects many of those inquiries had a hopeful tinge, probably originating from our Mayor Mullet, The Impaler, Li’l Patty, Messagebank, His Radiance and/or the iditor Jenna the Jester.

The ‘Pie sincerely thanks all those who have generously offered assistance and good wishes. He hopes to return next week to try to keep the bastards honest – as to that, amuse yourselves by looking up the word Sisyphus.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Achilles says:

    Sisyphus is an acronym for Mayor Mullet, not for pushing a rock up Hill but being devious and cunning.

  2. Alahazbin says:

    What are ‘Nesters’ thoughts/comments on the “new class of schooling” that has gained accreditation out there at leftie heaven JCU. The school says it will be the first of its kind with a “vision that all children have the ability to be capable and freethinking creators of their world when offered a voice and choice in learning”
    Students will not have to wear a uniform and will refer to their teachers by first name.
    Sounds like a bit of ‘Social Engineering’

  3. Tricky says:

    Mayor Mullet & her merry….umm well err ahhh Clowns, have really hit gold with impeccable timing. September School Holidays surely a brilliant time of year to showcase Townsville Tourism as families & tourists alike flock to our major Townsville Tourisim Jewel that is the very beautiful & picturesque Magnetic Island.

    As if this disgraceful & absurd Team Hill Election initiative wasn’t enough of a failure to date, let’s add superb planning into the equation with Zone 22 (Magnetic Island) pick ups to commence Monday 1 October….what a sight as Jen & Les encourage Islanders to ‘get your crap’ out early so that the ferals can get a chance to rummage through it. Imagine the bus tours of tourists witnessing all the best of the ‘Island Greenies’ recycling!! Bravo TCC Bravo

  4. Yournumberonefan#1 says:

    Thank god you’re ok, I couldn’t imagine waking up on a Sunday morning, in bed,without my piece of pie. #not all hero’s were capes.

  5. Rusty Nail says:

    Hope to see you fully back on line soon, ‘Pie. Must admit, though, it’s nice to not have to put up with those ridiculous Trump cartoons for once.

  6. Miss Lou says:

    Sincere condolences to dear old Mac.
    Unfortunately,it was his time. Hopefully, he’ll get through the gates of I-Cloud and rest in peace. When is the funeral?

    I’m glad to hear you’re strong and healthy. Bentley, make sure you regularly eat nuts. It’s very good for you.

    Always good,
    Always entertaining.


    Miss Lou.

    • The Magpie says:

      Good advice…Bentley will need a supply of fresh nurs if this keeps up! Have you no compassion, woman …. two timing and courting another plug in just as The ‘Pie’Hard drive becomes a floppy disc?

  7. Alacan says:

    Hear hear x 5

    Was concerned that something untoward had happened to the bird when the written warble of the Pie wasnt before us as usual.

    Whilst the Mighty Mac might be missed by the Magpie,it is replacable, unlike the Might of the Magpie and the Magpie himself.

  8. The Magpie says:

    Nice to see the Bulletin agin tagging on the tail of the Nest, albeit lazily waiting months after an investigation started into the behaviour of some officers of the Tooleaka/Bluewater rural fire brigade. That story broke here courtesy of readers Peter Newey and Cameron Richards.indeed, it was Richard’s courageous stand defending his mother from intimidation – which included the suspected arson to part of her rural property by two RFBS officers and illegal land clearing in the risible guise of bulldozing fire breaks – and his dogged pursuit of the Brisbane hierarchy that has resulted in the stand-down order for two offices.
    But the good old Astonisher and its hapless iditor can’t help themselves, twisting the story to dog whistle that somehow the stand downs were wrong because now the local unit can’t fight the recent fires, some of which were deliberately lit.
    The possibility of having arsonists of unknown motive working as fire brigade officers is a nightmare worthy of Hollywood, and also worthy of a more diligent journalistic investigation.
    Another epic miss by the paper that boasts ‘We’re for you.’

    • Lucifer's love child says:

      Where there’s smoke there’s property development.

    • Peter Newey (TRRA) says:

      The fight is continuing to rage between the residents on the receiving end of years of this type of arson activity (with a purpose ) and you can rest assured that at this time the entire line of management of the RFS through to the Brisbane head office is under pressure to come clean. The Bulletin article in true bulletin style, doing little of actual investigations and adopted a belief that what was given to them as “fact” when in reality the matter is way more complex and have again become part of Cover-up. We do understand the contempt with which the Magpie has for the local rag really, so what is the purpose of having a paper if it does not have good news content. Adds and sport you can find anywhere on electronic media but maybe the funeral notices are the real reason the aged population of Townsville is actually buying the paper in the first place. Sorry to, regarding the good old mac hope that is not an omen for my resilient PC. Dam frustrating that is for sure.

  9. The Magpie says:

    The ‘Pie rarely ventures into the monosyllabic realm of knuckle dragging sports commentary (The ‘Pie loves sport but loathes all the childish chatter, heavily reliant on inappropriate adjectives and bad puns that sadly fills the long stretches between actual sport).

    But today, he will say this … if the NRL suspend Billy Slater tomorrow night, they will confirm the ineptness of the hierarchy which was first signalled with the appointment of goofy and totally RL ignorant Peter Beattie to the top job. Rugby League is a sport dying from the top, with no common sense or idea of what fans want or will tolerate.
    Slater’s shoulder charge, if that’s what it was, was an onfield penalty at best, and if it was that bad, a penalty try would be a fitting end to such an incident.
    They’re killing an already dying game, these buffoons, and they’re not helped by the likes of the Bulletin iditor (who hails from Scotland where rugby league is as rare as a 10% tip) who patronisingly plays mummy when she writes ‘…the fact remains the rules cannot be altered to suit certain occasions.’
    Well, dearie, they can in courts of law …. the terms there are ‘exonerating circumstances’ and ‘taken into account in your favour’ … so why not down much further down the judicial ladder here. Those circumstances would include the record of one of the games greatest modern players and the consideration of the increased attendances that he alone has generated in a RL outpost of Melbourne, thus enriching the likes of those who will sit in judgement on him tomorrow night.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      In keeping with the sports theme I couldn’t help noticing some familiarity with sports events in recent weeks, Tiger Woods is winning again and Cowboys fans get to watch a heap of players the club discarded run around in the finals with other clubs.

    • The Third Reader says:

      Great to see you are still with us ‘Pie. Nothing by lunch time Sunday had me worried. As for Billy, I have told my CCOC if they rub him out I will not watch the game. If it had been a play in the AFL his coach would have given him an extra piece of orange and another cup of cordial at half time. I miss the eighties. Looking forward to next Sunday morning.

      • The Magpie says:

        Love the throwback to the Magpie of Atonisher days with CCOC … Current Companion Of Choice. Poor old editor John Affleck had to think long and ummm… hard about The Magpie talking about his CCOC.

        And have no idea what you’ll get next Sunday … setting up the replacement gear is presenting all sorts of conundrums for this techno klutz. But soldier on we shall.

      • Mick says:

        Billy’s cleared. Looks like you will be watching the final with CCOC .

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      It will be OK. They will suspend him issue a press release and they think the problem will disappear. This is in a state where the still say. “We have a rugby team here don’t we”?
      No wonder AFL is taking over in most states.
      NRL have no idea outside NSW.

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        …and Magpie, Glad to hear you are still with us. Was a tad worried when I logged on in the wee hours on Sunday am and there was no post.

  10. Jenny Wren says:

    My Sunday morning was not the same without you ‘pie. So glad to hear that the problem was a hardware collapse and not a “wetware” fail. (Know you will love that word)
    J Wren

    • The Magpie says:

      Ahem,Miss Wren… The ‘Pie trust your ‘wetwear’ Is a play on the grim humour of the CIA for whom wet work means assassination … or as they say ‘ contract termination with extreme prejudice’.
      Otherwise, allow me to inform you that this old bird trusts he is still some years away from traditional old folks incontinence undies.

  11. The Owl says:

    The Townsville Bulletin has stooped to a new low this morning with an advertising feature passed off as news on page 4 – “Mater plugs a gap in emergency service”
    The Mater EU was opened last year, so no news there. The fact that it provides an alternative to TGH was recorded in print and on tv last year. So why the “news” story now?
    Could it be an attempt to drum up patients for the Mater EU struggling to attract customers mainly because of how much it costs patients? A mate went there with a problem and needed a standard X-ray. He was told it had to be done at the X-ray centre on the Mater precinct, and almost had a heart attack when the total bill for the X-ray and consultation came to more than $500.
    At the TGH the cost would have been zilch.
    The Mater EU provides excellent care, but in these hard times the average punter will always to to the TGH, even if the wait is longer.
    So Mr Raggatt and Ms Cairney, if you want to print an advertising story in the news section please include the obligatory ADVERTISEMENT tag at the top of the story.

  12. The Owl says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention the full colour ad for Mater Emergency on page 9. Looks like a package deal to me.

  13. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    So what is your prediction for the Granny on Saturday, Mr Pie?

    Will birds of a feather flock together? Or will you be flying like an eagle?

  14. Achilles says:

    Several blogs ago I flippantly forecast that some nut job would insist on LGBTA2Z quotas would ensue if quotas for women were enacted.

    Today that Shorton did just that: This quote in today’s The OZ

    Bill Shorten is facing internal pressure to follow through on a promise to consider quotas for gay and indigenous MPs.

    • Kingswood says:

      Ten years ago I predicted this would happen too and joking called it ‘breaking the rainbow ceiling’ .

      Whatever happened to best person for the job….

    • NQ Gal says:

      I would love to be a fly on the wall for Labor pre-selections. I can (sort of) understand wanting to have 50% representation for women, but where do you go from there? If you are a lesbian, does that put you higher on the quota requirement than an aboriginal man? Does the quota have to match the statistical percentages from the most recent census data or just which group is whinging the loudest? The “quota” person then has to get past the factional warlords who are likely to already have a mate in mind for the seat.

  15. Sir Rabbittborough says:

    In bully classifieds p33 there is a notice from defence that drought affected graziers can apply singly or as a co-op to agist on defence land , and they gotta do the fencing. Typical govmen people , first increase jail for putting metal in strawberries then invite people to put shrapnel into cattle Go figure !

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      That doesn’t fit in with the story that these are “prime” agricultural properties when the defence dept wanted to buy them last year and extend the HRTA to accomodate the Singapore deal. The fact are these properties are marginal at best and are drought declared nearly every year and have little value at all. People I know up there were keen to sell but we’re all told at the start of negotiations it was all in or nothing, and they made their choice, if I was running defence I would deny their access, they can’t have it both ways.

  16. Non Aligned Worker says:

    I hate the use of the word “iconic” unless used correctly.
    I fail to see where a small religious painting describes an “iconic” brand or “iconic” something else.
    Anyone have an opinion on this?

    • The Magpie says:

      One of The ‘Pie’s pet hates.

    • No more dredging says:

      Non Aligned, the actual dictionary definition allows a little more latitude than you and the ‘Pie would appear to be comfortable with. My ancient Oxford Universal Dictionary says of ‘icon':

      ” (a) An image, figure or representation; a portrait, an illustration in a book.
      (b) An image in the solid, a statue.
      (c) A representation of some sacred personage, itself regarded as sacred, and honoured with a relative worship.”

      And ‘iconic':

      “Of or pertaining to an icon, of the nature of a portrait, (in art) applied to the ancient portrait statues of victorious athletes.”

      A “victorious athlete” (say, any one of the Mighty Roosters for example) could therefore be iconic and I imagine that would grate with some.

      • The Magpie says:

        Hmm, couple of small points there. In common parlance, ‘icon’ is applied to anything or any person that embodies the essence of a place or activity (Sydney Harbour Bridge, Mumhammed Ali, a New Zealand sheep smoking a relaxed cigarette). In other words, something or someone who automatically makes you link the subject to a particular place or activity. Apply that test to the next icon/iconic you see in the Astonisher.

        And here’s a question: looking at (c) in your definitions, can we expect the Astonisher to start applying the word to Mayor Mullet? She certainly thinks they should.

        • No more dredging says:

          That is a good question, ‘Pie, although iconic really seems to apply only to a representation of the person rather than the actual person or item in the flesh. So if there was a statue of Cooper Cronk or a sliver of clay from a supposed archeological statue of the man/god, this would be the actual icon. But of course, we are referring to scrawlings contained in Townsville’s fading organ – scrawlings that are neither athletic nor victorious. I don’t think the TBulletin is iconic and until the mayor is rendered in clay or buried in it I suggest we don’t go there.

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        An “athlete” can be made iconic but cannot be iconic.

    • Jenny Wren says:

      Mine is unique. When people use “more unique” or similar qualifiers, I cringe.

  17. Mike Douglas says:

    Amused at the “ so called” business leaders making up the board of newly created city deals so far Mayor Mullet, the impailer, Ceo Townsville Port + JCU . No one listed so far is a self made business success as all of worked off the public teet in Government, public service. City Deals separate to Council with its own GM and $1.5 mil budget. What business leader would want to be associated with the Mullet based on all the baggage she has and the appalling way Brad Webb has been treated. Definition of insanity is when Mayor Mullet keeps appointing the same people on committees and boards expecting a different result.

    • The Magpie says:

      Perhaps the real reason successful business people would be wary of joining Mayor Mullet on ANY board or at any trough would be our mayor’s well known spiteful vindicationness for the pettiest of reasons, so why would anyone put their staff and businesses at risk by perhaps opposing some of this woman’s dafter, self-seeking grabs at glory. Even Lancini has told people he can’t do any real business in this town while she’s in charge.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Very true Pie, business has abandoned Townsville, particularly nationals and multi nationals, we are very well known as a place not to do business currently. What many don’t understand is that people have the same conversations we all do, just at a different level, while we may discuss the reason not to buy an investment property or small business in Townsville others discuss why they are not proceeding with an entire retail project, commercial or multi res unit development, it’s the same conversation, just at a different scale.

    • Alahazbin says:

      For those that miss out on this board, perhaps they can get a ‘gong’ on the Hospital Board. But would have to be approved by the labor loonies first.

  18. Surely says:

    Conspicuous by their absence lately, one wonders at the dearth of online reader comments in TB over the past couple of weeks? The little dialogue bubbles are still there so one would presume they are begin accepted.

    Has the work experience kid who vets them been away? Have the reader’s laptops joined Pie’s in the interweb’s Valhalla? Is there nothing to commend or complain about in the articles? Have the journos captured the city’s zeitgeist that well? Or, perhaps, this blog has become the Bully’s defacto ‘comments’ section?

    Surely its just an oversight?.

  19. Jenny Wren says:

    Thanks ‘pie I had forgotten the CIA, how could I. I meant the more recent computer jargon of wetware as opposed to hardware, i.e. the human being as opposed to the computer chips and bits. Welcome back.

  20. Lk says:

    The lists are flying around JCU with names set to get the chop. Let’s hope it’s middle management that they take a good hard look at – some are so useless and just attend meetings all day and produce nothing. Lots of bullying by this lot also and generally disrespecting of junior staff.

  21. No more dredging says:

    Yesterday I came across a story in The Conversation (search: “Why trackless trams are ready to replace light rail”) about a new technology transit system that might be applicable in Townsville. In fact the article specifically referred to Townsville:

    “Cities across the world are lining up to trial these trackless tram systems. So far, Australian cities moving to use them are Townsville, Hobart, Melbourne (in Fishermans Bend and other sites), Sydney (in Liverpool and perhaps Parramatta Road where the first studies were done) and Perth – where five separate corridors are competing to run the first ART trial.”

    I had not heard about this Townsville connection before. Has anyone else? Is this a sleeper issue in local government politics?

    • The Magpie says:

      The’Pie has been alerted to this and is making inquiries. If it’s something Mayor Mullet thought up, its no more than a thought fart … we have nowhere near the population density for such a big city idea. But it is mystery mention, and am checking that out.

      • Sir Rabbittborough says:

        Uh huh? Trackless trams. The evidence leads me to conclude they are talking about buses. Elementary my dear Watson.

        • No more dredging says:

          Sir Rabbit, you say buses but if you read the article it talks about 300 people or 500 people on the ‘tram’. That ain’t no “bus”.

          • The Magpie says:

            And that is the economics that make this yet amnother divsionary thought fart in an election campaign that’s going to be full of them. Probably be front page Astonisher on Saturday, now that this has been outed as. JCU/TCC promotion with a guest professor being flown in from Perth on Oct 24 to sprinkle this latest unicorn. More in Saturday’s blog (love saying that, will make the Astonisher get off it’s smug arse).

          • No more dredging says:

            ‘Pie, has this trackless tram thing been reported at all in the Townsville media? I hadn’t heard the TT terminology before at all so I never knew about the technological development aspects of it, let alone the land value-adding that can be promoted around the stops – which of course can be relocated at minimal expense at any time. I wouldn’t immediately dismiss the “population density” issue. A driverless, battery/electric powered, high-tech suspension, rubber tyred transit system operating on normal roads could, co-ordinated with a city wide public transport plan, go a long way to rejuvenating the TSV CBD by powering more medium and high density residential units there. It’s inevitable that Townsville is going to grow and grow so why not pack a few more in the centre around the port, CBD, stadium, flash hotels, Strand and, heaven forbid, a mass transit terminal maybe located around where The Strand meets Ross Creek or near the stadium. It could be seen as more than a brain fart. But who’s game to take it on?

          • The Magpie says:

            Hahahahah gasp… wheeze … chortle ‘city wide public transport plan’ …cough splutter … ‘mass transit terminal’ … and the crowning subversive humour of linking Townsville to population density. Given the voting patterns of this burg in the past couple decades, dense population would be closer to the mark.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            No More Dredging, what the fuck are you smoking,
            “ it is inevitable that Townsville will continue to grow and grow” , really? not as long as your mate Jenny Hill is running the place into the ground, in case you haven’t noticed we are going backwards, more people are leaving than arriving, talk about fucking ignorant.

          • Grumpy says:

            NMD – but where will you park your unicorn?

          • No more dredging says:

            Cantankerous, you are so predictable. You see a statistic and make it the whole future. If you think I’m ignorant for expecting Townsville’s population to continue growing why are you so in favour of duplicating the water supply pipeline? By your logic we won’t even need a dam in the future. Anyway, just for the hell of it, when do you think the city’s population will hit 250,000 (with or without the current local and state government)?

        • cobalos says:

          Or a ferry to/from Maggie

      • Deep under the water says:

        Indeed the trackless tram proposal is being considered, but it’s a long way out yet from any decision. It’s at a level that I doubt Mullet has awareness of at present. The city deal is not going well and senior bureaucrats are loosing faith in Townsville. They don’t want to hear about the battery plant ever again and always knew the stadium was a dud with regard to urban ‘activation’. All sides and levels are looking for something to reboot the ‘Ville. A pivot from brawn to brains is in the works with new more high end jobs and opportunities being hoped for. On good authority one or even two of our premier ‘knowledge’ institutions is sinking fast and the northern brain drain is starting to be a real concern for state and federal governments.

  22. sir ossis o'fliver says:

    Whatever happened to “Mongrel the Barrister”.
    Used to enjoy his regular politically incorrect contributions to the nest when it was part of the old Bully.
    Time for a come back?

  23. Robert Jordan says:

    So Toowoomba gets the Qantas flying school. Why not Townsville? TEL, Gill, Mayor – any comments? Bulletin? Any deep digging on an opportunity lost due to the self interest of a few? Why does Townsville lose out, when the place and the “regular” people here, have just as much if not more to offer than other regional cities?

    • Grumpy says:

      Not surprised Welcamp got the nod. You have to admit, it makes a lot of sense to put it there. Only inconvenience would be it being wedged between two military airspace’s that can (and do) go active on very short notice. To the west and south west, though, the sky’s the limit and no Cadbury’s.

      Maybe a sheer coincidence, but Thursday’s QF969 was late because the aircraft was parked way over near the GA apron and passengers had to use Gate 6 on the ground floor and hike over to the steps.

      The reason given was that the usual slot (the one with an air bridge) had been taken by another carrier. I call bullshit on that. The usual slot had been empty since I arrived at 4:45.

      Was it Gill being his usual malicious pygmy self, or was it Qantas being too cheap to pay groundstaff overtime? Who cares?

  24. The Owl says:

    The way the younger generation is destroying the English language annoys the shit out of me. Can you believe that when they make a mistake they now say “my bad”. Obviously it’s too hard to say “my mistake”.

    • The Magpie says:

      That is just one of the infantilisations undermining our language … baby talk aimed at ameliorating an error as a childish misadventure when in fact the error can be quite grave in nature. Baby talk to match many a modern intellect …. harrumph.

      • No more dredging says:

        “harrumph” = switch off at wall and then re-boot. Simple.

      • WTF Fan says:

        oh come on you grumpy old curmudgeons – it’s just one of countless contemporary urban idioms that have crept into conversation since victorian times

        • The Magpie says:

          Take your point but The ‘Pie’s main objection is the thinking behind a lot of the changes … while not opposed entirely to the handy transfer of nouns to verbs, it makes sense, there are no checks and balances to avoid confusion and assist clarity. An instance is that an athlete ‘medalled in the shot putt…’ … apart from being unnecessary it raises the possibility that the sloppy likes of the Astonisher for instance could prompt confusion with ‘meddled’. Lawyer anyone?

          Of course, the old bird does not take exception or any notice of reversal kiddy talk when bad means good and sick means wonderful … these aberrations will fade naturally as the generation grows old even if it doesn’t grow up.

    • Achilles says:

      It’s yet another Americanism, which not only our youth but a many a talking head on TV, the one that irks me is anytime soon. Which used to be in the near future.

      As GBS stated England and her former colony are the first nations to have been divided by a common language.

  25. Dutch Reverend says:

    Interesting to see that TCC has saved the ratepayer over $31m dollars. So why increase the debt level from $30m odd to approx $60m. Sounds like a load of smart arse accounting bullshit to me.

    • Concerned says:

      I would like to know where the so called savings have come from.
      But I suppose you just have to look around to see how bad Townsville is looking.
      The big statement of going from 8 to 100 apprentices / trainees is an interesting one, and why do you think this is.
      The State picks up a lot of the tab for apprentices and trainees and they get paid bugger all and have taken the place of permanent employee’s.
      Yes apprentices and trainees are required but 100, come on, this is approx 10% of councils workforce. This is just a pathetic cost saving strategy by this pathetic council by having trainees do the work and get paid f all for it and the state picks up a large portion of that.

  26. Doug K says:

    Having read a text to the editor suggesting that Adani is the answer to all Townsville’s woes, I shot off a response suggesting that the Adani fan take the time to do a Google search for “Adani environment” and “Adani corruption”.
    Two weeks now and still not published, but there has been plenty of room for numerous texts pushing the Adani barrow.
    The editor must be wearing a patch over one eye.

    • Rusty Nail says:

      Doug, you could replace Adani with BHP (or any number of similar organisations engaged in mining and mineral processing). They’re all guilty of some transgression sometime (Ok Tedi anyone?)

      • Doug K says:

        Rusty, I suggest you actually google “Adani environment” and “Adani corruption” to see the enormity of the pattern of behaviour, but put aside a few hours as there is plenty to wade through.
        Ok Tedi is a shining light of environmental responsibility compared to Adani.

  27. Old tradesman says:

    Why does the mayor have a perceived conflict of interest in the secret tender for the spectrometer, which was awarded to Shimadzu?

  28. The Magpie says:

    Who’s writing the Astonisher’s editorials?

    On the evidence of today and her track record, not Jenna The Joker Cairney … too well reasoned and with a point to make, unlike the editor being , in the unsavoury summation of Mongrel the Barrister ‘all over the place like a mad woman’s shit’.

    And great to see the Astonisher getting off the fence in defence of free speech, which they miserably failed to do when the premier’s Katteronic attack happened … no doubt the late change of heart was influenced by this if you remember.

    • The Magpie says:

      And while we’re with the Astonisher, see if you can spot any problems with this.

      The ‘Pie spots two major matters, to which he would like to draw to the attention of reporter Mr/Ms Elder (who knows these days?). First, my good person, check out the News Ltd style book – in The ‘Pie’s 2009 edition, page 106 in the a-z section, is this:
      ‘Ages should be given when relevant’ … that’s always been the common sense rule, and the one most frequently broken by the Bulletin. What possible relevance can this woman’s age have to this story, unless you are inferring that she may have been of 00 age if she had eaten the berries, but it didn’t matter because they weren’t ‘deadly’ poisonous anyway.Despite you clumsily weaving your way around the fact that these berries are possibly mildly toxic, it is a fact that just about anything in quantity can be ‘poisonous’ … carrots are one example, (and our council is another, but fortunately we aren’t cannibals but still get a nasty taste in our mouthes on that one).

      Then, Keagan San, your sub let you down with allowing that atrocious opening sentence. What was initially believed to be deadly? The lunch, with a mistaken plural? Perhaps this might have been better: “A Townsville woman got a scare after THE berries she took to a lunch were believed initially to be deadly.” Cleans up ambiguity, and according to News Style, that split infinitive is OK in this case. What’s a split infinitive, you cry in bewilderment? You’ll find out all you need to know on page 12 of your Style Guide. Hint: it’s under Split Infinitives.

      • No more dredging says:

        ‘Pie, in the previous article about Astonisher editorials your own sub editor let you down at the very first word.

        • The Magpie says:

          Oh dear … it is clear and on more than this occasion, that The ‘Pie doesn’t run to the luxury of a sub editor. So thanks for filling in…corrected.

  29. Grumpy says:

    Good heavens. What about those Collingwood supporters? What happened to all their front teeth?

  30. Snapperoo says:

    Why am I not surprised that Townsville Airport isn’t in the running for the second Qantas Group Pilot Academy? Toowoomba has been announced as the first location while the other cities/towns in the running for the second are Alice Springs, Bendigo, Busselton, Dubbo, Launceston, MACKAY, Tamworth and Wagga Wagga.

    Well done Townsville Airport and Townsville Enterprise :(


    • The Magpie says:

      Let’s be fair here, the simple fact is that the Y
      Townsville available sites for such a project are not suitable either financially or practically. The ‘Pie understands TA being a shared defence base, did not make a bid, and the Bluewater submission was of a very low standard and involved some murky real estate and property spivs lurking in the shadows hoping for a quick buck.

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